251) Cheesy new years resolutions (CHECK)
252) Deadpool breaks fourth wall!
253) WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?
254) HEY BAWN BAWN!
255) Talk with your mouth full
256) only reply with "Not since the accident"
257) Use old western slang
258) Keep your eyes closed and insist you must smell/lick everything to see it
259) Throw rice at him and call them "friendliness pellets"
260) Talk/sing call me maybe
TWO HUNDRED FIFTY TWO: DEADPOOL!
"So, after I swept Pete-I mean-Spider-man off his feet,"
Dimentio walked into the kitchen with a bunch of empty shroom shake cans in his arms, upon spotting the red and black skin-tight suited man on the kitchen counter, he paused and began to turn around.
"Dimentio!" Sweeney cheerfully called out, "come meet our guest!"
With a roll of his eyes, Dimentio turned back around, the man was uncomfortably close. "Wow, when you said he was a quiet one, you weren't kidding." The man then turned to face you, the reader, "I wonder what those two girls did to make such a loudmouth so quiet."
"I beg your pardon?" Dimentio asked.
"This is Deadpool," Sweeney explained, "He's a merc with a mouth."
"Unless you count that god-awful interpretation by the x-men." Deadpool commented back, his mask giving off the impression he'd rolled his eyes.
"Where's Icefox and Acro?" Dimentio leaned around Deadpool to ask Sweeney.
"The girls are with Mimi, shopping." Sweeney explained, "Bleck put me in charge."
"Did not." Dimentio argued. "You don't even live here."
"Uh, hello!" Deadpool wrapped an arm around Dimentio's shoulder, "still here, still qu-ya know what, not going down that path." Dimentio raised an eyebrow, "I may be pan, but that sure ain't cookin' up to be a good rhyme."
"What are you?" Dimentio asked.
The screen jitters and the colors fade. "Pause!" Deadpool walked out from the edge of your screen, "I am SO glad he asked that because, you know what? I LOVE making stories about who I am. Who I am depends on who YOU are. I can be your greatest nightmare," the screen got darker as Deadpool reached for one of his guns, "Or your dream come true," he was suddenly laying on a white fur rug in front of a fireplace with rose petals scattered around him. "Annnnnd Action!"
"Hold on," Dimentio looked around confused, "What did you just do?"
"Oh ho man," Deadpool doubled over with a few chuckles, "This man is a card," He pulled out a Joker card from somewhere. "Literally," he made a slurping noise as if he was licking the card and slapped it to Dimentio's forehead.
"I am so lost," Dimentio looked at Sweeney who was looking at Deadpool in admiration. "What just happened?" Dimentio asked.
"Hey! Hey! I get this chapter was slow!" Deadpool sat on the edge of your screen, "And short, and-well just plain garbage. But you try writing an on going series for four or five years."
Six. Going on Seven.
"Okay, when you're a disembodied voice, you're a lot freakier."
Thanks?
"I mean, just look at me? How many incarnations have I had? And what about the Joker? I mean, there's three of him!"
He's DC, you can't count him.
"Why not?" Deadpool demanded, hands on his hips, "Batman thinks Iron Man sucks." Deadpool turned back to you, "Iron Man thinks Iron Man sucks, if we're all sharing our feelings."
We're not.
"Man, after your dog passed you've been a stick in the mud." Deadpool looks back at the empty space on your screen.
Thanks. Now get out of here, the chapter is finished.
"Oh no it's not!" Deadpool looked as if he were grinning under his mask.
"You're still here?" Dimentio asked as he joined everyone in the dining room.
"Yeah," Deadpool crossed his legs, "Turns out, this fanfiction has gone to the pits. Everything was bumpin' when everyone lived in the beach house. So I invited all old guests!"
Icefox spit out her drink, "What?!"
"Oh no." Acro watched the water in her cup ripple, the sound of a portal ripping open causing everyone to cover their ears.
"I'm just kidding." Deadpool chuckled, "I invited all my Marvel friends."
"Your dinner, sir." Stan Lee presented Deadpool with a plate of food.
"Thank you, ya old fart."
"Piss off," Stan Lee spat out.
"Good to see you too, creator." Deadpool tossed the food aside. "Now let's have fun!" Deadpool reached out of your screen and pulled you in.