Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Chapter Eight

Rhett sighed. Ashley should teach his sister a lesson about spreading gossip about him, but he never would. That wouldn't be proper. He sighed again and went back to reading the journal.

May 5th

Where is Rhett? Is he in Charleston or New Orleans? Hopefully not London or Paris. I wish he would just come home. Him and his hateful comments. I wished I hadn't sighed that night in New Orleans, but how was I to know that Rhett would jump to the right conclusion by the sigh? Everything changed after that. He shocked me when he said that he knew I had been thinking about Ashley when I was in bed with him. I never had since that awful night in New Orleans. I don't know why he would think that. Although it really doesn't matter anymore since we aren't sleeping together. I wish we were. Unfortunately, he doesn't want me anymore. He was quite happy to go back to his whores. I now know that there is a lot more to relations than I thought. I guess I didn't arouse him enough. I guess that was why he was holding himself back. I don't know and I never will. For he will never tell me.

Rhett smiled and thought, 'My love, you arouse me too much. That is why I held myself back. If I let myself lose all control, there is no telling what I would have said or done.'

May 6th

I wish I had thought about peppering Rhett with questions while he was drunk. Maybe he would have finally told me something.

Rhett laughed after he read that. He probably wouldn't have told her anything drunk or otherwise.

May 8th

God's nightgown! Stuart Tarleton was certainly not worth all the venom that India feels for me. I have done so many things wrong in my life, but I would not put the stealing of Stuart from India in the top ten. Unfortunately for me, to India it is number one by a mile.

Rhett thought, 'The young man was just a trophy for you while he was the only thing that Miss Wilkes has ever had and you stole him from her, my pet thus leaving her with nothing.'

May 10th

I am ashamed of the way Ashley is behaving. He is hiding behind Melanie's skirt instead of telling everyone to go to hell. He is such a weak man. I have tried to make him happy and safe, but I think at every turn I have only hurt him. I have wrecked his life, broken his pride and self-respect, shattered his inner peace and his strong inner core of integrity. I should have let him go to New York!

Rhett said, "Yes, you should have. He could have been his own man there. You weren't alone in shattering and wrecking Ashley's life. He let you do all that." He continued reading the diary.

Poor, sweet Ashley. To save his reputation he has sacrificed India. He has implied she is a lying, jealous old maid. That will be Ashley's cross to bear. Every time he looks into his sister's eyes, he will see the truth and the cold contempt she has for him. I understand why he has done it, but it would have been the last thing Rhett would have done. He would never have surrendered any of his principles to stop the gossip. He didn't twenty years ago, and he wouldn't now. Yes, Rhett groveled to the matrons to get received again, but in his inner core he hasn't changed one bit. In fact, I'm sure he enjoys fooling them.

Rhett said, "Yes, I do."

May 12th

Melanie will never talk about the incident at the mill with anyone. Not me, not Ashley, and especially nobody in proper society. She has frozen everyone out with just a withering look. I am so glad she is on my side, although I do feel so guilty for all the awful things I thought and said about her. I especially feel a lot of shame for coveting her husband. It doesn't matter if Ashley and I love each other what we did and have done was morally wrong.

Rhett said, "I'm so glad you realize that, Baby. Not that I am one to stand in judgment of someone doing something morally wrong."

May 18th

Where is Rhett? He has been gone a month without a word. Melly has cut everyone who has taken India's side. It doesn't matter if they were once her best friend or her closest blood relation. A lot of people just want to move on from the incident, but Melly won't let them. She says, "As long as there is one person who believes the lies about my husband and my sister-in-law, I will not move on."

May 25th

I am grateful that Melly is protecting me, but I am also tired of her company. She is with me always. Every morning when I go to the store and the lumber yard, she is with me. Every afternoon we go calling. She has forced all those women to welcome me into their homes. Homes I haven't wanted to enter in over two years. We arrive early and we are always the last to leave. I know Melly is doing that on purpose, so the women won't have time to gossip about us. I am sure it is frustrating to the ladies. That actually makes me happy.

June 1st

Still no Rhett. Where is he? When will he come home? I miss him so much. I even miss his cruel comments. There is always an excitement of life when he is around. I remember how exciting it was when he would come to visit during the war. As I look at the word visit, I know it is the wrong word. He was calling on me even though he never acted like a suitor. I know now he was calling on me when I was married to Frank. I wish he would be my friend again. I have no idea how to get him to be my friend. He wants nothing to do with me. He is quite fine with me divorcing him and us never seeing each other again as long as I let him take Bonnie. That would be a fate worse than death for me. I would be alone.

Rhett said, "No, I am not fine with divorcing you or never seeing you again. We are going to be together for the rest of my life."

June 3rd

Next week I am going to tell Melly enough is enough. Everyone has received me. They can't cut me now. I know all those women are wondering if I had been actually committing adultery. If it weren't for Melly all these women would have tarred and feathered me and run me out of town, but because of Melly and their fear of losing her friendship they have treated me like one of their favorite people. Mind you Ashley is still received. Nobody has even thought about shunning him.

Rhett said to himself, "Let me see what I can do about that, my pet. You shouldn't be the only one to experience the embarrassment of being thought of as an adulterer."

June 9th

I know that most of the people think I have no more morals than an alley cat. The problem is that because of Rhett's influence I lost all restraint. He encouraged me to say and do whatever I wanted, and I did. No, I have too many enemies and very few champions. Maybe I only have one champion now, Melly. Ashley and Rhett certainly aren't my champions. Rhett ran away when I needed him so much. That still hurts that he left my bed to go to Belle's bed. I have seen what a weak man Ashley is in the situation. He should have told India, 'Yes, I hugged Scarlett, but it wasn't anything nasty. It was a birthday hug between friends.' This is all Ashley's and Rhett's fault and neither one is stepping up and taking responsibility for their actions.

Rhett thought, 'I will take responsibility for my actions, and I will protect you from now on, my love.'

Rhett heard the supper bell chime. He put the book down. He would finish it tonight after Scarlett went to sleep. He would put the book under the vanity table like it had fallen down, and nobody noticed it.

Rhett walked across the hall and entered Scarlett's bedroom without knocking. He approached her. She was laying on the bed with her back to the door. He said, "Where is your wrapper?"

Without turning to look at him, Scarlett said, "Probably in my changing room. Leave me alone. I am trying to sleep."

Rhett came over to her and picked her up and sat her on the bed facing outward. He said, "It is time for supper. You will come down and eat with us. You will feel better the more normal things get to be."

Sarcastically, Scarlett said, "Where did you get your medical degree?"

Rhett smiled. He said, "The same place Mammy did. The school of hard knocks. Now, where is your wrapper?"

"I told you in my changing room."

"Let me get it."

As Rhett was walking to the changing room, Scarlett said, "I am not going downstairs for supper. I am staying in my room."

Rhett returned with her wrapper in his hand. He said, "I have it." He held out the garment to Scarlett. He said, "Put it on or I will put it on you. I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I have to."

"Holy Mackerel. You don't want to hurt me? You go out of your way to hurt me. Hurt and shame me."

"Then don't resist because you know I am going to do it. Give me your arm."

Scarlett held out her arm. Rhett pulled the wrapper up on her arm. He pulled her into a standing position. He then wrapped the material around her. She reached her arm back, but not very far. Rhett grabbed her wrist and pulled up. He put her arm in the sleeve of her wrapper. She screamed because of the pain. She sat down on the bed and started crying. She folded in on herself. She sobbed, "You hurt me. It hurts so bad. I have never hurt this bad in my entire life. Childbirth didn't hurt this bad. At least, with childbirth I knew all the pain would be over eventually. For all I know I might hurt like this the rest of my life."

Rhett did feel bad for hurting Scarlett. He had forgotten that her arms were hurt also. He said, "Why does your arm hurt?"

"I don't know. You are the one that got a medical degree from the school of hard knocks. You tell me."

Rhett smiled. Scarlett may be down, but she would never be out.

Rhett said to Scarlett, "I must have missed class the day they covered that. You aren't going to hurt the rest of your life."

"Again, how do you know. Even the school of hard knocks couldn't have taught you that."

"When my ribs were cracked that hurt for about a month with the pain getting less and less every day."

"How did you get your ribs cracked?"

"I was on the wrong side of a thick board. I will get you some laudanum."

"No, thank you. I don't want anything from you. You have already hurt me enough. Just have someone bring me a tray. I am going to lay here until the waves of pain go away."

"I won't make you go downstairs but let me give you the laudanum."

"No, it isn't good for the baby."

"How about a glass of brandy?"

"Brandy is what got me in this situation in the first place. If I hadn't wanted a drink, I could have stayed locked in my room. Safe in my room away from you."

Rhett knew she was referring to the night of Ashley's party. He vaguely remembered listening to her pace back and forth while he continued drinking in the dining room. Until that night he had not known that Scarlett's bedroom was directly above the dining room. Because he couldn't remember much of anything about that night, he said, "That is in the past. Don't think about it. I will have someone bring you a tray and a glass of brandy."

"It is not completely in the past. We are going to have a living reminder of our actions that night."

Rhett grinned and said, "What a night to remember."

Scarlett stared at Rhett. He acted like that night had been wonderful for him. She hurt so badly, and she was so tired that she couldn't do battle with him at that moment. She said sharply, "Just go away and let me suffer in silence."

"I will return after supper."

"Thanks for the warning."

Rhett smiled. He walked over and kissed her forehead. He said, "Let me get you back in the bed. Do you want to take your wrapper off?"

"No. It is now my new best friend."

Rhett didn't know what Scarlett meant by that, but he pulled the covers out of the way and got her situated in the bed on what was now her side. He placed a couple of pillows behind her. He handed her a couple of magazines. She said, "I've looked at these."

"Try reading the articles."

Scarlett looked daggers at Rhett. He turned to leave the room. When Rhett was almost at the door, she said, "When you come back bring a book to read to me. One of those boring books you like so it will put me to sleep."

Rhett gave her a sardonic smile and said, "Of course."