Welcome to my new story. I really hope FanFiction has resolved the notification issue by the time this goes up.
This story has trigger warnings centering around familial abuse of all forms, please read with caution.
I have also messed with the families in this one. Darcy, Helen and Randall Edwards do not exist. Clare is in fact Fitz's biological sister. Jake and his dad already live in Toronto and Jake attends Degrassi.
Everything else you need to know is in the story. I hope you enjoy.
Ch.1 The Flood Will Get You If The Fire Don't
(CLARE)
BAM!
The sound of my bedroom door slamming open startles me from my writing. I gasp, jump and my breath seizes in my throat even before he speaks.
"Let's have some fun Clare," Steve grins leaning in my doorway. His eyes are bloodshot, I'm sure he's high as he never seems to come in my room when he's not high. Of course, he's high almost all the time these days.
"Get out Steve!" I bark, jumping up and putting the chair between me and him.
Steve says nothing but moves very fast, covering the distance between me and the door in a few steps. I backup but I have nowhere to go. I try to dodge him, but he's fast and grabs my arm, tossing me onto my bed. Before I can recover and get up, he's on top of me, straddling me and pinning my arms down. Sometimes, I can fight him off myself, when I can't I have only one option.
"FITZ!" I scream as loud as I can.
I hear pounding feet running up the stairs and in seconds my brother is in the room. He grabs our stepbrother by the back of his neck and rips him away from me. Immediately putting himself between me and Steve Fitz makes a fist and punches Steve hard in the face. Steve goes down, but could recover any moment, Fitz turns to me, taking my hand and helping me off the bed.
"Grab your backpack, we'll sleep in the ravine tonight," Fitz says.
I grab my backpack and we go to the room he shares with Steve so he can get his backpack. We always keep backpacks packed for times like this. Since Mom married Rudy six years ago these times have become more and more frequent.
Fitz grabs his backpack, and we start walking to the stairs. We freeze when we hear the front door open, and slam shut. Mom is working a double at the diner where she's a waitress, so Rudy must be home from drinking with his buddies. The sound of the front door seems to have roused Steve as we hear moving in my room.
"WHO THE FUCK LEFT THE TV ON AND THE WATER RUNNING," Rudy yells. He's drunk but not slurring, so not that drunk.
"Out my window, quick," Fitz says, taking my hand and pulling me to his room.
On the surface the shared room may look the same as any other shared by two teenage boys. Messy, unkept and split by two distinct personalities with their interests on the walls and beds. However, even the mess doesn't betray how much violence this room has seen.
Fitz opens his window and helps me out. I move down to the edge of the roof waiting for Fitz. He comes out the window and down to where I am, tossing our backpacks to the yard below. There's no grass, just dirt because the yard has never been maintained.
Fitz turns around, hangs off the roof and drops to the ground. When he's down I turn and hang off the roof, Fitz grabs my waist and helps me down. We grab our backpacks; Fitz takes my hand and we run into the night. After a few blocks we stop, I'm panting because he's in much better shape than I am. He plays sports, I prefer academic pursuits. I did gymnastics when I was younger, but I was six the last time I was in gymnastics.
We're only a couple of blocks from the ravine now. When we get there it's dark and empty, not so unusual for a Wednesday in late summer. The first time we slept in the ravine I hated it, we weren't alone, but I couldn't get to sleep, too afraid that bugs or creatures would crawl over me in the dark.
"I'll call Owen in the morning," Fitz says, pulling out his phone to light our way.
Often on these nights we will go to Owen's, he always says we can bother him any time, but his parents have jobs with regular hours, and he has a younger brother. So, we don't like to call him or show up too late. We used to go to Johnny's as well, but last week he moved into the dorms at U of T. He told us we could still go to his house, but we don't know his dad that well and we don't feel comfortable going over without Johnny there. Lucas got his own apartment a few months ago, he lets us come over any time, but he works most nights, and we don't have our own key. When he's not working Bianca is usually over.
"Fire's out," I comment as we reach the area where the kids have carved out a spot to hang out. One of many along the entire ravine.
"I'll get it going again, sit," Fitz says. He sets his backpack next to the ripped-out car seat. I take off my backpack, dropping it at my feet and sit on the seat. Fitz puts his phone back in his pocket, takes his lighter out and holds it to the sticks on the firepit. When it doesn't light, he takes some paper from his backpack and that lights up, then lights the sticks, those will catch the bigger logs and we'll have a fire for the night. "Did Steve hurt you? Let me see," Fitz insists, taking my arms to look at them.
"I'm okay Fitz, he didn't grab me that hard this time," I tell him, and he releases my arms.
"Try and get some sleep," he says leaning back.
I know he probably won't sleep; he almost never does when we sleep here. Even though all of the kids that come here on a regular basis know better than to mess with us. Still, he usually sits up on guard all night long, and he'll crash when we get somewhere safe in the morning. Not home, when we run like this, we stay away from the house for anywhere from two days to a full week. Long enough for Rudy to forget why he was angry, but not so long that he gets angry again.
I lean against my brother and watch the flames of the fire dance. My eyes start to get heavy with sleep but before they close all the way I shiver in the cold air of the late summer night. Fitz opens his backpack and pulls out a hoodie handing it to me. I pull it on, it's warm and swallows me, it will keep me warm all night, along with the fire.
"Thanks Fitz," I smile, kissing his cheek.
"Go to sleep, will you Crackerjack," Fitz says, taking his phone from his pocket again. The nickname came about when I was little and Fitz found out that Crackerjack was a term for a person of marked excellence, and another word for skilled and expert. He's a year older than me, but I've always been smarter than him.
"Goodnight Fitz," I yawn as my eyelids get heavy with sleep and I feel myself succumbing to exhaustion.
I was the first one to call him Fitz, I only ever call him Mark when I'm mad. When I was learning to talk it was hard to say Mark, so I called him Fitz like our last name. Well, actually it came out more like Fithts until I was about five. After I started calling him Fitz, he liked it and started making everyone call him Fitz.
Feeling safe with my brother, the warmth of his hoodie and the fire I drift to sleep. Secure in the knowledge that Fitz will keep me safe. As he always does and has done our entire lives.
(FITZ)
Clare's breathing gets shallow and regular, her body heavy against my arm and I know she's asleep. I could sleep too, but I don't ever risk it. There's a chance, no matter how small, that Steve or Rudy could find us here. Steve has been known to stumble his way here when he's high.
There's also the small chance that someone new will come to sleep here. Everyone that comes here regularly knows us, but there's always someone that hears about this place from a friend. Someone that doesn't know me or my rep, and doesn't know to keep away from my sister. I stay up playing on my phone, watching the fire and keeping it stoked all night. The Dot opens at six, but Spin will let us in early if he's opening, which he usually is.
"Clare, wake up, let's go to The Dot for some food," I yawn, shaking her just after 5:30.
I'm fairly certain that no one else is in the ravine, usually if someone is sleeping in the van they make noise or come out to piss by now. So, I make sure to put out the fire completely. Clare yawns and groans, her eyes blinking open, and she stretches. When she stands my hoodie swallows her. She wriggles her way out of it and hands it back to me. As she takes it off, I see a bruise on her arm from where Steve grabbed her. I grit my teeth, but she's had much worse, we both have.
"I'm not hungry yet," she yawns as she picks up her backpack.
"I know, we'll get some hot chocolate and coffee, it's too early to wake Owen."
We walk out of the ravine and across to The Dot. The shades are closed but I see lights and I knock on the door. After a minute a pair of eyes peek through the blinds. Spinner sees that it's us and unlocks the door.
"You want coffee or hot chocolate Fitz?" Spin asks while Clare sits down at a table.
"Coffee. We've got at least two hours before I want to wake Owen. I need food too, give me one of the breakfast burritos as soon as they're ready," I remark, putting money on the counter. "I really need to save up and get a car."
"Save what money? Mom gives us some of her tip money, we get what $30 or $40 a week at best. It would take you forever to save for a car," Clare comments and then reaches into her backpack. "Can I have a chocolate croissant? The walk made me hungry." She pulls out some money, but I wave her off, I'm already up here and paying.
"You know," Spin says as he adds her croissant to our order, "Marni just quit on me to work at the theater, so we have an opening. I know you have sports most of the year, but even if you work over the weekends that's still at least 16 hours. Over holidays and the summer, and when you're done with basketball in the spring you could work more hours."
"Yeah, definitely, I'll work evenings if you need me during school or I can skip football this year a…"
"Hang on," Spin stops me as he hands me my change. "I don't want you sacrificing school for the job. That includes sports, you're the best linebacker Degrassi's had in years. I'll give you shifts, but not at the sacrifice of more important things. However, your first duty can be to get your order together while I finish opening."
"Cool, thanks Spin," I grin.
"Yeah, I remember what it was like. you can start Saturday, you need to get some sleep today," Spinner says.
"Cool, Saturday, what time?"
"I'll put you on the 12-8 shift, get here about 11:30 though there will be some paperwork to fill out," Spin tells me.
"Saturday, 11:30, I'll be here," I nod. I have our order ready, so I take it to our table and give Clare her hot chocolate and croissant. Sometimes she has coffee but this early in the morning she usually wants hot chocolate. "You cannot be at the house if I'm at work. Hang out here or one of our friend's houses," I tell her but keep my voice low.
"I know," she nods.
We eat slowly, sipping our drinks, I get us both coffee when we've finished our drinks. This early on a Thursday the only people in the café are people stopping for coffee on their way to work. When it's a little past seven I decide that we can wake Owen now, so I call him.
"What?" He groans into the phone.
"Hey, can we come over?"
"Yeah, come on over, I'll unlock the back door," Owen says with a big yawn. He used to tell me we could come over any time, but I hate disturbing his family at odd hours. After arguing about it a few times he stopped telling me.
"Let's go Clare," I comment, standing up and putting my phone back in my pocket.
We toss our trash and wave to Spinner. He nods but he's busy serving a handful of college students that came in a few minutes ago. We leave the café and walk the six blocks to Owen's house. The Milligan's live in a nice four-bedroom house with a nice yard. When Owen and Tris were little there was a playset out back. When they got too old for that their parents put in a hot tub.
The backdoor is accessible through a gate and down a path. I find it unlocked and we go in. The backdoor leads to a hallway with a laundry room on one side and Owen's dad's office on the other. The short hallway ends at three steps that go up to the main floor, which is where we find Owen eating breakfast on the sofa and watching TV.
"Hey, you guys hungry?" Owen asks.
"No, we ate at The Dot," I shake my head.
"You can crash in my room Fitz," Owen says.
"Thanks, I'm gonna get some sleep, stay with Owen," I instruct Clare and she twists her mouth at me.
"I got her, go get some sleep dude," Owen remarks.
I go up to Owen's room, drop my backpack on the floor and sit on Owen's bed to take off my combat boots. I grab the throw blanket at the foot of Owen's bed and pull it over me as I lie down. Knowing Clare is safe here, that Owen will watch out for her, my eyes close before my head even hits the pillow.
I wake sometime later to a really loud and yappy dog in a nearby yard. I yawn and stretch and look at my phone, it's nearly one so I got about five hours of sleep. I leave Owen's room, use the washroom and go downstairs. Owen is playing video games on the sofa, but I don't see my sister anywhere.
"Hey, we ordered pizza for lunch, I left you some slices on the counter," Owen says without looking away from the game.
"Thanks, where's Clare?"
"She got tired of watching me play video games, she and Tris are watching movies in the den," Owen replies.
I knew she didn't just wander off, but ever since Rudy and Steve entered our lives, I always feel better if I know exactly where Clare is. I grab what's left of the pizza and put it on a plate, then toss it in the microwave to heat it up. While the pizza is getting hot, I grab a soda from the fridge. When the microwave dings, I grab the plate and sit on the sofa next to Owen.
"You hurt? She had a bruise on her arm," Owen remarks but still hasn't looked away from the video game.
"I'm fine, Steve had her pinned to the bed when I got in. We slept in the ravine last night," I reply, before taking a bite of pizza.
"Fuck, that's what six times just this summer he's tried to get her?" Owen asks, pausing the game and looking at me.
"Seven, but he's gotten her pinned to the bed three times. Since she started developing over the summer, they've started actively preying on her. I'm worried that one day they'll go into her room when I'm in the shower or something. I've slept on her floor more this summer than I have in the whole six years Rudy and Mom have been married."
"Can't we call Child Aide again or something?" Owen asks.
I take a couple bites of pizza and a drink of my soda before answering, "Yeah, 'cause that went so well last time."
Clare was eight when Mom met Rudy, they dated casually for about five months and Rudy was nice to us. Steve was a brat, but there was no abuse of any kind. Anytime Steve came over he and I would fight, but it wasn't full on fist fighting or anything, just childish bickering.
Mom had dated a few other guys in the year and a half since Dad disappeared, so Rudy didn't seem any different. Then one day Mom and Rudy came home and announced that they had just gotten married. Overnight Rudy and Steve move in, we have a stepfather and stepbrother and I'm sharing my room with Steve.
It was less than two days after that Rudy hit Mom for the first time. I tried to stop him, and he picked me up and tossed me across the room, I was ten. Steve and I were now sharing a space and we fought a lot more; it came to blows most of the time, but he and I are only a couple months apart in age and pretty evenly matched. Rudy though he's a big guy and even Steve isn't safe from his temper.
Steve hated having a little sister, he'd shove Clare, pull her hair, smack her, but never punched her or anything. Of course, anytime I saw him picking on her I'd go over and hit him and then we'd get into it. Fist fighting or wrestling on the floor mostly, until mom got between us or Rudy smacked us both and told us to stop.
Clare managed to keep from getting hit by Rudy for almost a full month. Then one night at dinner she spilled her milk and Rudy yanked her out of her seat and forced her face onto the table yelling at her to clean the spilled milk. When she was crying too hard to do so he yanked her away by her hair and sent her to her room. I was too stunned to move, something I regret to this day. Mom cleaned the milk and as soon as I was allowed to leave the table, I went to check on Clare. That was the first night I slept on her floor, but far from the last.
It was our life now, living in near constant fear, and too afraid to speak up or tell anyone. We didn't even know who we could tell or who would believe us. We were seen with bruises on occasion, but never black eyes or broken bones. Most of the kids we played with had bruises and sometimes broken bones. Just from being dumb kids or paying rough, so there was never anything alarming. Rudy has also always been pretty careful about where he bruises us.
All the kids we knew said they got bruises or broken bones by playing or falling. Sometimes we were witness to it, like a kid in my grade six class that jumped off a table trying to backflip and broke his arm on the table. For the longest time we were never really sure who actually fell and who was living like us. Clare and I always just said we fell or were playing rough like everyone else.
We just lived with it until Clare was eleven and I was twelve. It was after Rudy shoved Clare into the kitchen wall and smacked her arm and back with a wooden spoon until it broke. There was no reason, he was just pissed. I was at football practice and when I came home she told me she called Children's Aide and showed me what he did. She was covered in welts and bruises, included one on her face which was pretty rare.
She told me she made a report and was told that someone would come for a home visit. We waited, ten days we waited, and no one ever came. I was at Johnny's when they did finally come, so I only saw the aftermath of the visit. When I got home Mom was cleaning, she'd been crying and wouldn't look at me. The living room was a disaster, broken glass and a broken chair, papers all over. Rudy sat on the sofa drinking some whiskey and Steve was nowhere. I went up to my room dropping my backpack in my room and still no Steve.
Then I went to Clare's room, the sight of her will haunt me forever, as will the guilt I have for leaving her alone in that house with them. She was black and blue from the neck down, but he didn't touch her face. She had two broken fingers, and when I woke her up, she threw up. She couldn't move, I lifted her out of bed and cleaned her sheets, changed her into a nightgown. The sight of her battered flesh made me ill. She hardly had any flesh below the neck without a bruise. She probably had some cracked ribs too.
She told me someone from Children's Aide did come. Rudy was perfect while the woman was there, and he acted shocked that there was such an accusation. The person from Children's Aide along with an officer interviewed them all separately and Clare told her story, showed the very faded bruises that at that point just looked like Clare had bumped into something. Rudy, Steve and even Mom denied there was any kind of abuse. The officer and woman from Children's Aide left and said they'd follow up, but we never saw them again.
Clare and I never spoke out or tried to report the abuse again. She was kept out of school for a week, Mom told the school Clare had the flu. When she returned she wore pants and long sleeves until the bruises were totally gone, thankfully it was winter. She said her broken fingers were from falling while she was dizzy getting up to use the washroom. I never said anything, so afraid that if I did, I'd come home to find Clare hurt worse or dead.
We learned to keep our mouths shut and just not provoke if we can help it. It's getting worse though, the physical abuse to us and to Mom. Even worse the way Steve and Rudy are looking at Clare, the things they are trying to do are becoming more and more sexual assault.
"Sleep here until school starts at least, Mom will take Clare to get some clothes and you have your backpacks. Don't even try going home until Tuesday or Wednesday at least. Don't risk it, especially with Steve getting braver or maybe stupider," Owen says.
"Yeah, good plan. Plus, Spin just gave me a job at The Dot. Weekends right now, but I can work full time next summer, and more over school breaks and stuff. I'll start saving for my own car so Clare and I can get away faster. I told her she can't be at the house while I'm working. Even when I'm there they try to get to her, I don't even want to think what they'll do if I'm not there."
"Don't, we won't let it happen," Owen says, slapping my back lightly.
I nod and go back to eating as my mind starts wondering how expensive it would be to get our own apartment. If we even can get our own apartment, and if I can keep Steve away from Clare at school.
(CLARE)
"I'm going to go find my locker," I comment to Fitz and Owen as we begin walking in on the first day of school.
Fitz and I have been sleeping at the Milligan house since last Thursday. Mrs. Milligan took us to get some clothes and they keep toiletries for us there. Fitz worked at The Dot this weekend, he worked 12-8 both Saturday and Sunday. Owen, Tris and I went to hang out for a bit and he seemed to be doing good at the job.
"Watch out for Steve," Fitz says in a warning tone.
I nod and turn away from them, most grade eleven's get lockers in the same hallway. Grade ten lockers are closer to the office. I find my locker, try my combo, see that it works and with nothing to put in my locker I decide to go to the front to wait for Alli and my other friends. I don't even make it to the front before my arm is grabbed hard, I'm pushed against the wall and Steve leans over me.
"Hi Sis," he whispers against my neck. It makes me shiver and my stomach rolls as I fight the urge to vomit on his shoes.
"Get off of me Steve," I demand. I push at him, my voice is loud and strong but not yelling and I hear the falter of fear in it.
"Aww, not happy to see me? I missed you these last few days," he says. He leans over even more as he does so, until his lips are close enough to mine I can feel his breath on my lips.
"Leave me alone," I assert again. My voice still shakes but it's a little stronger this time and I smack his side with my free arm. Steve gives me a sinister, mocking smile and opens his mouth but it's not his voice that comes out.
"The lady said to leave her alone asshole," an angry male voice growls appearing at our side. He's definitely a new boy, few boys in this school (aside from Owen and Fitz) dare stand up to Steve. Also, I've never seen this boy before, olive skin and deep blue eyes with dark hair.
"Hello, tall, cute and heroic," I think to myself after a quick once over of my mysterious savior. My unknown hero shoves Steve away with enough force that Steve releases my arm. Steve snarls and starts to move, but my unknown hero curls his fist and punches Steve hard, sending him stumbling back.
"We should go now," I remark, grabbing my hero's hand. Not only will Steve recover in a moment but some of his delinquent friends are headed our way. I start running, dragging my hero with me until we duck into an empty classroom where we should be reasonably safe. "Thanks for that, I'm Clare," I grin, reluctantly releasing his hand.
"Drew Torres," he grins. His grin makes me melt and then he takes my hand kissing the back of it. I can already tell Drew is a consummate flirt, but I don't mind and simply bite my lips in response. "I'm always up for saving beautiful girls. Was that creep your ex-boyfriend?"
"Stepbrother," I reply while scrunching my face in disgust at even having to admit it.
"You're joking right? That looked rather intimate, looked to me like he was about to kiss you," Drew comments.
"Yeah," I sigh and turn away from Drew to go to the classroom door. I heard running, pounding feet go past the door as we were making introductions. "He probably was, it's been happening a lot lately," I admit with my back to Drew while looking into the hall. "I think we're safe now," I tell him going out the door and he follows me.
"Your stepbrother really do things like that alot?" Drew questions as he falls in step beside me and we begin walking down the hall. I nod in response but I don't really want to talk about Steve, so I change the subject.
"Where'd you move from?" I ask as we continue walking. Instead of going toward the front I'm now looking for Fitz and Owen.
"Oshawa, my dad transferred offices and my brother and I started here this year, but I guess you realized that and that's why you asked. My mom managed to get a job on the school board, so that should be fun. I heard Degrassi has a great football team though, I was QB1 of my team last year. I was only in grade ten, youngest ever," Drew tells me proudly.
"Cool, my brother and his best friend are on the team," I reply. I'm still looking for Fitz and/or Owen but am not seeing them. We are however being approached by another boy, he's looking at us both and he's also new, as I don't recognize him.
"Picking up girls already Drew?"
"Saving her, thank you very much Adam. Clare, this is my younger brother Adam, he's in grade ten this year," Drew introduces us.
"Me too, it's good to meet you Adam," I smile at him.
Adam also has blue eyes, though not as deep blue as Drew's and that seems to be the only similarity between the two. Adam is not as tall as Drew, Adam has dark brown hair but Drew's is almost black. Adam is fair skinned and freckled, while Drew is olive skinned and latin or mediterranean looking. Adam definitely looks to be more of Irish or at least Celtic descent like Fitz and I.
"You too, just what was my brother saving you from? Besides himself?" Adam questions and I giggle.
I can already tell the two have a good and playful relationship and it makes me happy. Before I can answer there's a loud whistle, I look in the direction of the whistle to see Fitz, Owen and Bianca headed to us. I'm certain the only thing on Fitz, and possibly Owen's, mind is who the new boys with me are. Fitz was always a fairly protective older brother but over the years with Steve and Rudy it's gotten a lot worse, for good reason though. If not for Fitz I'd have been dead long ago, and if not dead I surely would have been raped this summer.
"This is my brother Fitz and two of his best friends, Owen and Bianca. This is Drew and his brother Adam, they're new this year. Drew saved me from Steve," I enlighten, and introduce everyone at once.
"You hurt?" Fitz asks, his jaw and fist both clenched.
I simply shake my head.
"Didn't look like he was hurting her, did look like he was about to kiss her and she was telling him to go away so I stepped in. Is it true he's your stepbrother?" Drew inquires.
While Drew talks I watch Adam's face, it goes from pride at what Drew did, to disgust at the thought that it was my stepbrother.
"Yeah, unfortunately he is. Thanks for stepping in," Fitz replies, giving Drew a genuinely grateful smile.
"No Problem," Drew nods, grinning back.
"Drew also plays football," I comment. Once again steering us away from the subject of Steve.
"Yeah, I was the youngest ever QB1 at my old school," Drew says proudly.
"Awesome, you'll have some competition with Riley, he was QB1 last year. Coach Armstrong is cool though and he gives everyone a chance," Owen remarks.
Bianca rolls her eyes at the football talk and saunters off. Adam seems like he's listening, but he's not partaking in the conversation. I don't have anything to really contribute to talk about football, the team or Coach Armstrong, and decide to take my leave.
"I'm going to homeroom," I speak up, trying to walk away but Fitz holds me by my backpack.