Note: This story completely disregards the 31st book 'Now or Never' by Janet Evanovich and takes a different take to what happens immediately after the book 'Dirty Thirty' ends. If you were happy with the book 'Now or Never' I wouldn't recommend you reading this story. If you were as disappointed as I was: I hope you enjoy it!
Also, English isn't my native language. Accept my apologies for any mistakes.
Disclaimer: The characters and themes of this fanfiction are not owned by me. All credit goes to Janet Evanovich.
Chapter One
This day started out bad and it only got worse. My back hurt from sleeping on my couch in a sleeping bag because a few days ago my apartment got firebombed once again, fully destroying my bedroom. I didn't have the spare change to order a new bed yet. In order to do so, I had to catch a few FTA's which led to me standing on Selma Musenski's front porch, soaked in cereal milk and with a throbbing left foot.
My name is Stephanie Plum, and my life is a mess. I work as a bail-bonds enforcer for Vincent Plum Bail Bonds in Trenton, New Jersey. Generally, people call me a bounty hunter and they usually don't like me because of it. I only get paid if I bring in skips and, usually they didn't want to get caught or else they would have appeared in court on their scheduled date. Most days I didn't like my job either, but I had to pay my bills, and those people became felons by not appearing in court. I try to tell myself that I was doing an important job. But the truth was, it sucked.
Selma Musenski was supposed to be a simple job. Drunk and disorderly, resisting arrest, first offender. An easy morning job. I didn't know about her five children running loose. While I was standing in her front door, explaining to Selma that it would only be a short trip to the courthouse to re-schedule her, omitting the fact that court was not in order on the weekend and since it was Saturday, she would have to spend the weekend in jail, the toddler she was carrying on her hips threw his bowl of cereal at me. The froot loops stuck to my hair, and the milk ran over my face and drenched my white T-shirt, revealing my black bra. While I stood there soaked like a poodle, reconsidering my life choices, an older kid came running to the door and tried to slam the door shut. Because I had my foot in the doorway, standard procedure as a bounty hunter to prevent doors being slammed in your face, my foot was now throbbing in pain.
Recently, I have been wondering if I would ever have kids on my own and if I'd like to have them. There are two men in my life. Both previously made it very clear that marriage wasn't something they would consider. Both of them announced a couple of days ago that they now do want to get married to me. One of them is working for the Trenton PD as plainclothes named Joseph Morelli. Only his mother, grandmother and my own mother called him Joseph. Everyone else knows him as Morelli. I have known him for all my life. We grew up together and eventually I had lost my virginity to him. We have been dating on and off again for a couple of years. He is just over six feet with a lean body and wavy black hair. His brown eyes were hard and calculating when on the job, but they were soft whenever he was feeling friendly. He has a dog named Bob and a big Italian family. They were loud and dysfunctional, but he loved them, even when his crazy Grandma Bella put the eye on me, or his godfather tried to kill me. He was good with children, and I always thought that eventually, Morelli would want a family of his own.
The other man in my life was Ricardo Carlos Manoso or commonly known as Ranger. The man of mystery. He was my mentor when I first started as a bounty hunter and was now owner of a high-tech security company and he was ex Special Forces. He was American Cuban, and his body could simply be described as divine. He was just over six feet tall, and his body was muscular without an ounce of fat. When Morelli and I were on a break we ended up as lovers. But from the very start he made it clear that a relationship wasn't something that fit his lifestyle. Which was why Ranger's proposal came even more as a surprise as Morelli's and I honestly wasn't sure if it was a serious one. I had a lot of questions, but because Ranger had to go out of town due to a security breach at one of his franchised offices, all my questions had remained unanswered. Ranger already had a daughter who was living with her mother in Miami and he only had limited contact to her. She was born due an one-night-stand when Ranger was on leave in the military. He had married the woman before she had given birth and divorced her soon after. He fulfilled all his necessary duties and took financial responsibility, but there wasn't much of a bond between them. I'd never thought that Ranger would want other children. His lifestyle wouldn't fit them.
I loved both men and I always thought that ultimately the decision would be sealed by whether or not I wanted children in the future. Right now, soaked in cereal milk, the thought of having children on my own was pushed into the very back of my head.
Still contemplating my life choices, I haven't moved off the front porch yet and the door re-opened. Instinctively, I took a step back, bracing myself for the horror that would come now.
"Come back on Monday. My mother is here Mondays and can watch the kids while we do the re-scheduling thing", Selma told me before closing the door once again.
Normally, I wouldn't believe an FTA when they told me to come back another day and they would gladly come with me then. But I believed Selma. And even if she would run away to hide from me, I wouldn't much care right now. The bond was too low to put up again with her children. As I was walking back to my car, I considered if I should explain to Selma that she would spend the weekend in jail if she came with me now. Surely, jail would be an appreciated break from the monsters she called her children.
I climbed into the car, cautious not to lean back in the seat and sully the upholstery with the sticky milk. I didn't want to ruin Ranger's car. Which led me to another problem. I needed a new car. I couldn't keep driving and quiet possibly destroying Ranger's loaner while I figured out what to do with the two men in my life. Problem was, I couldn't even afford a new bed, much less a new car. I tried to convince myself to keep driving Ranger's car because at least this wasn't one of Ranger's personal cars. It was a Rangeman fleet car. And his men probably ran a pot on how long it would take me to destroy this car. Ranger managed his employees, the Rangemen, strict but fair. It was a demanding work and a long time ago I became their distraction of entertainment. My cars frequently got blown up, burned down or otherwise destroyed. A while ago I learned that they bet on how long it would take me to destroy a car. It was not something I was proud of and with every new car I bought or received as a loaner I promised myself that this car would last and not get destroyed. However, the only car that didn't get destroyed was the powder blue and white Buick 1953 Roadmaster that my Grandma Mazur inherited from Great Uncle Sandor. The Buick was safely stored in my parents' garage since Grandma Mazur lost her driver's license several years ago. I frequently borrowed the Buick when I'd lost another car and couldn't afford a new one. I could borrow it now and return the fleet car to Rangeman. But the truth was, the car already had some minor interior damage due to Bob riding with me the past week and I didn't want the Rangemen to drive a car with Bob's bite marks on the gear stick and wheel.
The short drive to the bond's office was uneventful and I parked behind Lula's red Firebird. Lula was an office clerk at the bond's office but ever since the files became digital no one knew what her job description currently was. Most of the time she joined me when I went out to apprehend FTAs. Our captures were usually achieved through dumb luck and not due to professionalism. I could see her slouched on the faux leather couch through the big front window. Her extra-voluptuous plus-size body was squeezed into a pink spandex skirt, and the acres of flesh that constituted her chest overflowed a silver sparkling tank top. Her hair was platinum blonde today and she was eating a donut, while already holding a second donut in her other hand. At five feet five, Lula was a couple of inches shorter than me and on a regular day I tended to be invisible when I was standing next to her. She was a sparkling parrot while I was a plain pigeon wearing my everyday jeans and girly V-neck shirt. My hair was curly brown and shoulder length, often pulled into a ponytail. I wore some lip gloss and mascara and on days I felt very insecure I wore double coated mascara. But this was the extend of my beauty routine. Go figure why not one but two hot men were interested in me.
Connie, the office manager, sat behind her desk, guarding the inner room of the office, also known as Vinnie's lair. She was a typical Italian girl from Jersey with big hair, big chest and could shoot the eye of a squirrel a hundred feet away. She was currently painting her nails and looked at me questioningly through the window. Lula, Connie and I had been through a lot together. I loved them both dearly, but I had been avoiding them ever since yesterday. I wanted to sort my thoughts before listening to their advice on my currently disastrous love life.
With a heavy sigh I left the Ford Explorer and limped into the office. I went straight for the coffee machine in the back of the office. With fresh coffee in hands, I inspected the donut box on Connie's desk. There was only a powdered donut and e jelly donut left.
"What do you have in your hair? And do you know that your shirt is transparent?", Connie asked, looking me over. "Interesting fashion choice."
I wanted to sigh again but it was more of a grunting noise. I picked up the jelly donut and sat down hard on the plastic chair in front of Connie's desk.
"Selma Musenski's kids are straight from hell. One threw a bowl of cereal at me and another one smashed my foot in the door. Obviously, I didn't bring her in, but she told me to come back on Monday when her mother would be watching the children. In my opinion, she would have made the smarter choice to spend the weekend in jail than with her five screaming kids. But that's just my opinion. I don't know how people can voluntarily decide to have children. They are a mess. They are loud, they are obnoxious and somehow, they are always sticky."
"Not too long ago you have been thinking about having kids on your own", Lula reminded me ever so helpful.
"Hmpf", was my response.
I finished the donut and started picking the froot loops out of my hair when my phone rang.
"Just checking in", Ranger said. "Everything okay?"
"Sure. Fucking brilliant," I responded while throwing two more froot loops into the bin Connie had handed me over.
"Should I ask?"
"No."
"Has it anything to do with you moving out of my apartment? Ella told me."
"No."
"Are you back with Morelli?"
"No."
"Is our engagement off?"
"No," I said with a sigh. "I moved back into my own apartment. I have a lot to think about and I can think better in my own home. And I have some questions. When will you be back?"
"I need a couple of more days to sort the situation out here. I will let you know when I will be back. I'm sorry I will miss you wearing another bridesmaid's dress. Is there anything else I should know?"
"Don't wear a white shirt when apprehending a mother of five because your shirt will get transparent if a bowl of cereal is thrown at you."
"Babe." And he disconnected.
Babe covers a lot of different meanings, depending on context and emphasis. I was almost certain that this time it was to express his amusement. Ranger rarely smiled but I could hear him raise the tip of his lips while saying babe.
"That sure were a lot of nos. What was that about?", Lula asked.
Sooner or later, I had to tell them anyway, so I guess I should bring it over with now.
"Ranger," I said. "He is out of town and his housekeeper told him that I moved out of his apartment."
"And?"
"And before he had left, the night before Morelli came home from Miami, Ranger and I sort of got engaged."
"Get out!"
"Say what now?"
I squinted my eyes shut and put my hands over my ears, trying to protect me from their outbursts.
"What do you mean by sort of engaged? Are you engaged or not? How did this happen?", Connie wanted to know after both of them calmed down enough.
"I'm not sure. I was having a bit of a crisis because I had spent the last few days living with Ranger even though I was in a relationship with Morelli. And by living I really mean just living. Ranger and I didn't have any sex until after the… engagement. But I was feeling guilty because Morelli didn't know I was living in Ranger's apartment and also guilty because I loved living there. So, Ranger and I talked, and he told me to just give Morelli Bob back and keep living with him, if that's what I'd like to do. But I couldn't just break up with Morelli because I thought that some day, Morelli would marry me and that I couldn't possibly find another man as good as Morelli that would be willing to marry me. And that's when Ranger told me, he would marry me. I thought it might be a joke, so I asked him, when would we get married and he told me Saturday in Vegas, but Saturday didn't work for me since I have to attend my cousin's wedding already, so we worked out Wednesday. I even followed up with him the next day. Giving him an out of this situation but he didn't back down. So, I guess, I'm engaged to him? Which wouldn't be bad. It isn't bad. I love him. But…"
Both Connie and Lula were speechless for a couple of seconds, taking everything in.
"But?"
"How did Morelli react when you told him you were going to marry Ranger?"
"I couldn't. When we finally got home after all the police statements of the Plover case were made, I told Morelli that we needed to talk. But instead of letting me talk, he told me how much he missed me and that the gave the pool table in his dining room to his brother Anthony and that he wanted to get married. That he wanted to marry me!"
"Holy cow!"
"Say again? After years of both of them not wanting a committed relationship, suddenly both want to marry you?"
I shrugged and did a palm up.
"So, you agreed to Ranger's engagement because you weren't 100% sure if it was sincere or a joke. But what did you tell Morelli? Did you also say yes? Are you engaged to two men at the same time?", Connie asked the pressing question.
"No, I told Morelli that I need time to think about it and that there were other things to consider."
"And how did that go down with him?", Lula asked.
"Not too good, I imagine", Connie said.
"No, not too good. There was some yelling and his Italian temperament going through with him. He said that he thought this is what I wanted all along, to get married. I told him that this was true, but the two of us didn't have the best history of keeping a relationship running for more than a couple of weeks at a time and that there are other offers."
"Uh-oh."
"Oh boy."
I grimaced. Even thinking back now I felt uncomfortable about the conversation. Morelli had become very quiet and had said "Ranger". It wasn't a question; it was a statement. I didn't need to answer, the answer was clear.
"Morelli became quiet after that. He asked me if I had slept with Ranger, and I answered truthfully that I had never slept with him while Morelli and I were in a relationship. I guess he already knew that. He didn't like the answer, but he accepted it. It's no secret that Morelli has never been a fan of Ranger. He disliked that Ranger's moral compass didn't always match the law. He told me he thought I was crazy for believing that Ranger could actually fit a marriage into his lifestyle but ultimately, it was my decision to make. He still wants to marry me, but he gives me the time I need to figure out if that's what I also want. And he told me that if we were to get married, I had to break off all contact with Ranger."
"Hmpf. I guess I can understand him. What man would tolerate another man flirting with his wife. But still. I don't like this macho-ultimatum-shit. And also, I'm worried you will be dead before long with your tendency of ending up in dangerous situations. When has Morelli ever saved you? It's always Ranger that sweeps in and safes your ass. If Ranger is out of the equation, I don't think Morelli would have the recourses to find you in time," Lula said.
"I guess, ultimately, Morelli would want me to quit my job. This has always been a point of argument. He thinks if I'm not a bounty hunter, I won't end up in dangerous situations."
"You tried that road, didn't you? And no matter what shitty job you took, you ended up in danger anyway," Lula argued. "And anyway, do you even want to quit your job?"
"I don't know. On days like this, I do. I hate it. But then again, it's just what I have to do to pay the bills. I don't know what else I would do. As you pointed out, I did already try working another job. Things around me exploded anyway, so I guess it's not the job that is the problem, but me."
I tried hard not to cry while picking the last few froot loops out of my fair.
"Just let me get this straight. The way you told us everything, neither of the two men actually asked you to marry them. They didn't propose. They made a statement that they want to marry you. That's not very romantic. And it's not right. It sounds to me like neither of them wanted to give you much of a choice", Connie said after a while.
I looked up. I had never considered this angle. But Connie was right. I had asked Ranger to name one other man that was better than Morelli and willing to marry me. He had answered that question and I in return wanted to call his bluff and asked him when he will marry me. It's not like Ranger proposed marriage to me. He simply said, he would be willing to marry me. Morelli didn't propose either. He said, he wanted to marry me and that was that.
"You're right. This doesn't sit right with me either," Lula said. "But you have a standing engagement with Ranger and one on hold with Morelli?"
"Yes, apparently."
"And who do you want to marry?", Connie asked.
"If I knew the answer to this question, I wouldn't have a problem, would I? I love both of them. I have loved both of them for years. But Morelli and I can't keep a relationship for more than a couple of weeks at the time before we break up because of a stupid argument. And Ranger made it very clear in the past that he wasn't interested in a relationship, which is why I don't understand his sudden change of heart. I need to know first what had changed for Ranger, before I can decide."
"Then ask him," Lula said.
"When he is back in town, I will."
"And when will that be?"
"I don't know. In a couple of days."
"Great," Lula said. "Now what until then?"
"Now, I will go home to take a shower and get ready for a wedding," I told her, lacking completely any enthusiasm.