-Chapter 40-
Unfit
That evening…
In the far-off land of the Chai Kingdom, in the highest chamber of the royal palace, a figure dressed in Chinese robes hopped down a hallway.
"Madame Hua! Madame Hua!" he shouted frantically as he burst through the furthest doors. "Madame Hua! Emergency!"
A heavy cloud of smoke largely obscured the room, the only thing visible being the light of a fireplace.
"Lo Pei…" an aged, yet powerful voice let out in a thick, eastern accent. "I thought that I asked not to be disturbed."
Lo Pei flinched and immediately kowtowed, putting his forehead to the floor in supplication.
"A-A thousand pardons, Your Grace!" he let out. "But, I bear important news. Tatanga has invaded the kingdom again!"
Madame Hua sighed, the cloud that filled the room billowing slightly from her breath.
"Oh my, dreadful!" she replied sardonically. "Feh! That giant, purple chǔn lǘ (1) invades every week. He's like a villain from one of those silly picture shows the children love to watch nowadays."
Lo Pei swallowed nervously. "Y-Yes…B-But Madame, there's more! Our scouts and diplomats have also reported seeing him and his troops in the other kingdoms!"
Hua paused. "Is that so?"
Lo Pei nodded. "What's more, his ship was seen flying across the sky from the west earlier today!"
"Where Central is." Hua chuckled slightly. "Daisy..."
"Madame, what do you wish for us to do?" Lo Pei asked. "
Hua paused for a moment, letting out another sigh. "...Nothing."
Lo Pei blinked in confusion. "Nothing?"
"Correct," Hua replied. "Tatanga has been playing his sad little game of space invaders for years now, and yet, despite boasting of coming from a superior, space-faring civilization, he has lost every time. To a little girl, no less. Why should this be any different?"
Lo Pei nodded. "True…"
"Now, is there anything else?" Hua asked.
Lo Pei perked. "Oh yes! Just a reminder, the next Council meeting is tomorrow."
"Ah yes...I had forgotten. Thank you for reminding me."
Lo Pei's expression turned anxious. "One last thing..." He withdrew a packet of papers from the sleeves of his robe. "We've also received another request from…the researcher."
The cloud of smoke swirled violently, prompting Lo Pei to shield his face.
"I see…" Hua grit out. "Put it with the others."
Lo Pei bowed, then walked inside, making his way to the fireplace, throwing the packet inside.
"It is done, Madame Hua," Lo Pei said, bowing again.
"Very good, Lo Pei," she replied. "You are dismissed."
With that, Lo Pei took his leave, leaving Madame Hua alone once again.
"Well then, I had best turn in for the evening," she said, her gaze drifting to a rolled-up scroll on the table next to her. "After all, tomorrow is a big day."
The following day, the Marios gathered their luggage.
"Well, so much for the big isekai road trip," MP sighed.
"We'll have other opportunities," Mario assured. "Maybe we can check out some of the other kingdoms now that things are peaceful. Eh, Luigi?"
Luigi was just staring out the window. "Luigi?"
"Huh?" Luigi turned to him. "Sorry, lost in thought."
"Thoughts about the Princess?" Mario asked.
Luigi stiffened, blushing. "Y-Yes...Err...I'm just...worried. What happened yesterday..."
Mario winced sympathetically. "Yeah… Peach said she and Daisy weren't on good terms, but... wow."
"I know she told us to go, but…" Luigi looked out the window, worriedly. "I feel like we should do something. I mean, they're family."
"Family doesn't always see eye to eye," Mario pointed out. "Remember when we first took on Bowser?"
Luigi sighed. "Yeah… Still..."
Just then, he heard footsteps. Luigi looked over Mario's shoulder to see Peach pass by the door.
"Ah, good morning, Princess!" he greeted.
Peach perked, then turned to see the others.
"Oh, good morning, everyone," she replied with a smile. It wasn't her usual smile though. It felt weaker, forced.
"I'm sorry about last night. You... shouldn't have seen that." She shook her head. "Anyway, is everyone ready?"
"Are you sure you wanna leave it like this?" Luigi asked.
Peach sighed. "Well, it's not like I have much of a choice, Daisy's stubborn. Once she makes up her mind about something, it's next to impossible to change it. Besides, she has a point. We've been doing just fine for years now, so why rock the boat?"
"But-"
Peach held up a hand. "Luigi, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but you can't force people to change or make up. They have to want to and, at the moment, Daisy doesn't want to. Now, we'd best get back to the plane."
"Princess..." Mario tried to respond.
"Holy-!" Whatever MP yelled next was cut off by a clock bell going off. Everyone turned to her, seeing she was staring out the window in shock.
"Mips, what's going on!?"
"Look..."
MP pointed out the window, prompting Mario to turn to see.
"Mamma Mia!"
High up in the sky was a large flock of winged, lion-like creatures, all heading straight for the castle.
"What in the world are those!?" Luigi shouted.
Just then, Daisy burst into the room.
"What's going on!?" she cried out. "You guys okay? I heard screaming."
"Daisy, look!" Peach said, pointing to the window.
Daisy looked, then pulled out a pair of binoculars.
"Oh, these guys," she nodded. "No worries. Just the Shphinxes."
"Shphinxes?" Mario raised an eyebrow,
"I think you mean sphinxes," said MP.
Daisy shook her head. "No, Shphinxes. They're the natives of the Piraput Kingdom."
"So…we're not under attack?" Luigi asked.
"What? Naw, they're totally cool," Daisy said nonchalantly. "Not sure why they're here though."
"Princess Daisy!" Sebas shouted as he ran into the room. "There are you! What are you still doing here!?"
"Whoa! Easy, Sebas," she said. "What's going on?"
Sebas paused, his eyes going wide as he stammered incoherently. "What's going…!? Don't tell me you've forgotten!"
Daisy raised an eyebrow. "Forgot about what?"
"The Council! The annual meeting with the rulers! It's today!"
"Council?" Daisy's eyes widened. "CRAP! The Council! I completely forgot about the Council meeting!" She winced, sighing. "Wonderful. A perfect end to a perfect day."
"You'd best be on your way then! Quickly! You mustn't keep them waiting!"
"Right…" Daisy turned to the others as she ran off. "Sorry guys, I gotta go! Have a safe flight back!"
"Wait, Daisy!" Peach called out, but her sister had already left.
"So...the Council?" Mario asked.
"Indeed." Sebas nodded. "Every year, the rulers of the kingdoms gather here to discuss important political matters. Trade agreements, war plans, that sort of thing."
"Doesn't seem like she's very fond of it," Luigi mused.
Sebas shook his head. "Not at all. Princess Daisy's least favorite part of her duties is the so-called 'pen-pushing.'" he sighed. "I'm not the least bit surprised she forgot about it."
Mips looked at Sebas with concern, her brow furrowed. "Hey Sebas, aren't your eyes black?"
Sebas perked up. "What... what do you mean?"
"Nothing. It's just... they're purple."
Without warning, she kicked Sebas in the face, knocking him to the ground. The butler let out a pained groan as he struggled to get up.
"Whoa!" Mario exclaimed.
"Mary Pat, what in the world?!" Peach demanded.
MP just held up her hand. "Wait for it…"
Sebas rose to his feet, blinking and looking around in confusion. His eyes flickered between purple and black before settling on the latter.
"Wha…You... how...?"
"Did the mind control thing," MP explained, pointing to her eyes. "My eyes were red."
"Mind control?" Peach perked. "Wait... Tatanga?"
"Sounds like," Luigi replied. "Sebas' eyes were purple, he is purple."
"She's right…" Sebas rubbed his head. "I remember now…"
"Tell us everything," Peach insisted.
"Tatanga...he approached me yesterday, not long after your spat with your sister. He offered me a deal to show Daisy the error of her ways, spinning a tale so I'd sympathize with him. He must have been brainwashing me all the while to make me complacent. I told him about the summit and when it's taking place."
"I don't like the sound of that," Mario said.
"Where is the summit taking place?" Peach questioned.
Grand Meeting Hall
A group of strange figures had gathered, consisting of a large, winged lion, a red, seahorse-like dragon in an ornate fish tank, and a moai-like golem with sunglasses.
"What's taking her so long?" the Shphinx wondered.
"Who?" the moai asked, his voice containing a surfer dude accent.
"Daisy, of course."
"Maybe she had to use the can?"
"This is unacceptable!" the seahorse spat.
"Hey, bodily functions happen, Zamasu," the Shphinx pointed out.
"Yeah man, not all of us are godly sea dragons," said the moai.
"Not that!" Zamasu shook his head. "She's the Mediator! This is her kingdom! She was supposed to be present and ready to begin yesterday! But instead, she's off dilly-dallying and doing Grambi knows what, as usual!"
"Whoa, chillax, bruh," said the Moai. "You're gonna boil yerself."
"I will 'chillax' when I choose to, Trompal!" Zamasu snapped. "Princess Daisy is a disgrace to royalty! Always slacking off and being more concerned with fighting Tatanga than actually doing the job her father placed her here to do! And whenever she does decide to do her job, it's only to tell us how to do ours!"
"Hey! Give the girl some credit!" the Shphinx defended. "Tatanga's relentless! You'd be more concerned with him too if you had to deal with him every other week." He snorted. "Not that you would know."
"And you are far too soft on her, Totahmet!" Zamasu shook his head, gesturing around the room. "We are supposed to be equals, but how often does she waltz into our borders as though she owns them?! She has no respect for us or our sovereignty!"
Trompal grimaced, muttering to himself. "...She is kind of a buzzkill sometimes."
Suddenly, the door opened up. Daisy came dashing in, panting and wiping her forehead.
"I am so sorry!" she exclaimed.
"Well, look who decided to grace us with her presence," Zamasu deadpanned.
"Zamasu..." Totahmet sighed.
"Sup, Princess D?" Trompal greeted.
"Hey Trompal." She waved before addressing the other monarchs. "Totahmet. Zamasu… What'd I miss?"
"Oh nothing much," Zamasu snarked, glaring at her. "Only thirty minutes of the meeting."
"Well, don't stop on my account." With a small flourish, she sat down on her throne, adjusting herself so she looked presentable. "By all means, continue."
As the other rulers slowly returned to their seats, Daisy glanced around before noticing an empty throne.
"Wait, where's Madame Hua?"
Suddenly, a thick mist billowed along the floor, spreading around the room. It then gathered into one of the chairs, taking the form of a woman of Chinese descent. She wore heavy, billowing red and purple robes which covered every inch of her body, leaving only her face exposed. Her skin was covered with a thick layer of white makeup, heavily emphasizing her blood-red lipstick and raven black hair, which had been done in a traditional imperial style.
"Present, my dear," Madame Hua greeted with a small bow.
"Ah, there you are." Daisy gestured to her. "See? I'm not the only one who's late."
"My apologies," Hua said. "My Biokinton was having trouble forming, so it took me longer to get here."
Daisy clapped her hands. "Alright then, if everyone's here, let's get this meeting started!"
"It started thirty minutes ago…" Totahmet elbowed Zamasu. "I mean, Of course, princess."
"Very well," Totahmet declared. "Let the Council of Kings come to order!
Meanwhile...
Sebas led Mario and Co. through the castle, all of them rushing to catch up with Daisy.
"Quickly!" he declared. "The Council meeting room is this way!"
"Seriously, why does it have to be so far away!?" Mario demanded.
Behind them, MP was trying to get her Soopa Suit on, pulling the parts from her magic satchel
"Less complaining, more running!"
Sebas gives Mips a strange look. "Umm...Miss Mario..."
"What?"
"Uhhh..." Suddenly, there was the sound of spacecraft in the air. Sebas looks up to see UFOs. "Kaiuchuu spacecraft!"
The spaceships deployed their tractor beams, beaming down several Koopas with black shells.
MP raised an eyebrow. "Black-shelled Koopas?"
"That's not normal…" Luigi said.
The Koopas looked at the targets, all of them with serious expressions. One of the Koopas fixed their gaze on Peach.
"Princess! Attack!"
The Koopa curled into their shell and charged at Peach, only to be intercepted by Mario.
"Gotcha!"
Peach gasped, then reached for Mips' bag.
"Hey!" MP cried as Peach dug around in it. "What are you-!"
She was silenced as Peach pulled out a poleaxe.
"There we go!" She swung the ax at the oncoming shells, knocking them back. "Take that!"
"Thanks, Princess," Mario said.
"Uhhh...Mario?" Luigi pointed to the Koopas, who were getting up and preparing to fight again, looking more pissed than before.
"Something's wrong." MP rubbed her arm, looking visibly unsettled. "I don't know what, but this feels all kinds of wrong!"
The Koopas all rushed the heroes.
"Whoa!" Mario grabbed onto one of them, sliding back a bit. "Wow! These must be some kind of Super Koopas or some..."
Mario heard a hissing sound. Confused, he looked down and saw the Koopa's shell flashing red, along with something sparking on the top of their shell.
"Wait, is that...?" Mario's eyes widened in shock as he realized it was a fuse.
"Game OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" The Koopa shrieked before exploding, launching Mario into a wall.
"Did... did it just explode?!" Luigi demanded.
"Kamikaze warriors…" MP let out in shock.
"Look!" Peach pointed.
The others turned to see the Koopas flying at them, all flashing)
"Oh no..." Luigi stepped back. "Mario, what's the plan?"
"Simple and uncomplicated," Mario replied as he stood up. "RUN!"
"Game OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" The Koopas all rushed the heroes, exploding when they got close.
"I didn't know they could do this!" Luigi cried.
MP just looked sick.
"This...This is insane..." Peach felt something leap onto her back. It was one of the exploding Koopas, which wrapped its limbs around her.
"PEACH!" Mario screamed.
"I'm sorry..." the Koopa began flashing. "GAME OVER!"
Just as it was about to explode, it was hit with something that caused it to freeze. It went still, limply falling off of Peach's back.
"Haha!" an old man's voice cheered. "Got you!"
Everyone turned to see Professor E. Gadd standing behind them, a blue raygun-like device in hand.
"Professor?!" Mario and Luigi exclaimed in unison.
"Hello there, boys, Princess...errrr...young lady."
"What the…" Mips looked the Professor up and down with a weirded-out expression. "Who's this weird old dude?"
"Oh yes! Where are my manners?" The Professor smiled and gave a dramatic bow. "I'm Prof. Elvin Gadd. Inventor, phasmologist, and...uhhhh."
"A real pain in the neck," Mario quipped, getting a snort from Luigi and a headshake from Peach.
"So, what brings you all to Sarasaland?" Gadd asked. "I'm assuming something serious if the Koopa Troop is attacking you again."
"You might say that," Luigi replied.
"Professor, we don't have much time!" Mario interjected. "Peach's sister is in trouble and..."
"Aliens are invading?" Gadd cut off.
Mario blinked. "H-How did you?"
"He looked up," MP said flatly, pointing upward.
"Indeed. Rather Zeerusty looking ship flying right toward that tower over yonder."
Gadd pointed toward the tower. Everyone gasped, seeing Tatanga's ship heading there.
"That's the tower where the Meeting of Kings is being held!" Peach cried.
"Oh my!" Gadd gasped. "Then we'd better hurry! I need to speak with Madame Hua!"
He ran off.
"Um... what the-" Whatever MP was about to say was cut off by a blaster shot from the ship, snapping her back to attention. "Right! Save the kings, weird old guy later!"
They quickly ran after the professor.
Grand Meeting Hall
Back in the meeting hall, the rulers were in the middle of discussing something. Daisy was barely staying awake; to her ears, all of them just sounded like "Blah blah blah" and other white noise. Resting her chin on her fist, she got comfortable, eyes sliding shut slowly.
"Princess… Princess? Princess!"
"Hm!?" Daisy snapped awake to see everyone looking at her.
"Princess, your thoughts?" Totahmet asked.
"Huh? My thoughts?" Daisy perked. "Oh! Uhhh… Yes. Yes, King Totahmet, that is a very good point. You make a solid argument."
"Uhhh… I wasn't the one speaking."
"Eh? OH! Uhhhh...right! Of course not!" Daisy chuckled awkwardly, not noticing Zamasu's annoyed look and displeased growl. "So uhhh...who was?"
"That would be me, dearie." Hua raised a hand.
"Oh… S-Sorry, Madame Hua."
"It's alright. I just need you to look over and sign this bill my kingdom submitted."
Hua handed Daisy a scroll, unfolding it.
"No problem," Picking up a pen, Daisy proceeded to sign the bill without even bothering to read or look it over.
"What the...What in Grambi's name are you doing!?" Zamasu exclaimed.
"Getting rid of some crappy paperwork, what's it look like? Now, is this over yet? I'm bored."
"You just signed a bill into law, without even reading it! Of all the reckless, idiotic things you've ever done-!"
"Relax, Zamasu." Daisy waved a hand dismissively as the Madame took the bill from her, tucking it into her robe. "Madame Hua submitted it. She's cool."
Zamasu just sputtered indignantly.
"Princess, with all due respect, this is a serious matter," Totahmet pointed out. "We..."
There was a loud boom and the tower shook. "What in the world?"
"Dude, it's an earthquake!" Trompal cried.
"No, Trompal..." said Hua. "It's him."
Suddenly, the wall exploded, knocking everyone over. As the dust cleared, they took in the sight of Tatanga's flagship, the dreaded Pagosu. The cockpit opened up, revealing the general, who jumped out and landed.
"Princess Daisy! Rulers of Sarasaland! Tremble in fear, for I...General Tatanga, have returned!"
"Finally!" Daisy sighed before shaking her head. "I-I mean...! You!"
"Yes, it is I, Tatanga the mighty blah blah, evil villain monologue," Tatanga scoffed. "What do you say we skip all that useless pomp and circumstance, hmm?"
Daisy rolled her eyes. "Didn't I give you enough of a butt-kicking last time?"
"Oh yes indeed," Tatanga smirked. "Enough for me to complete my true objective. Thank you for being such a ditzy little distraction."
"Distraction?!" Daisy scowled. "Oh, it's on now!"
She charged at Tatanga. Flinging off her dress, revealing her sportier "combat clothes". She grabbed a mace from a suit of armor before charging at Tatanga. She swung, but much to her surprise, he dodged, before nonchalantly ducking and weaving around Daisy's every blow.
"What's the matter, Daisy?" Tatanga mocked. "You seem tired."
"WHY! Can't! I! Hit! Y-?!"
Tatanga caught the mace in one hand, twisting the head.
"Simple, my dear. Because I'm not letting you this time," Tatanga wrested the mace from her hands. "Do you know why I attacked you every week? Why I kept up that inane charade? So I could learn your moves while you dropped your guard, and stopped seeing me as a threat and more of a game. Well, guess what, Princess?"
He smacked her in the stomach with the mace, sending her flying into a wall. She coughed blood as she hit. He then proceeded to break the mace with his bare hands
"Playtime is over."
As the alien general loomed over her, Daisy felt, probably for the first time in her life, fear.
"Now, then...time to...!"
Suddenly, the door slammed open. "What!?"
Mario and the others came running in. Charging forward, Mario sprang up with a Super Jump Punch, slamming his fist into Tatanga's jaw and sending him flying into his ship.
"Meatball?!" Daisy cried. "Green bean?!"
"Will you stop calling them that?!" MP snapped. "Their names are Mario and Luigi!"
"Daisy!" Peach ran in.
"Sis…"
"Princess Toadstool?" Hua managed.
Tatanga got up. "Did I just get hit by a fat guy?"
"Hey!" He turned, getting MP's metal-gauntleted fist to the face. "Don't call my brother fat!"
Tatanga rubbed his jaw as he saw the others, growling in anger.
"Kriff…" he swore. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
"Why?" MP asked. "'Cause you brainwashed Sebas to have him get us out?"
"He what!?" Daisy shrieked.
"It's true," Luigi confirmed. "Luckily, a little cognitive recalibration snapped him right out of it."
Daisy raised an eyebrow at Mario's choice of words.
"We hit him really hard in the head," Peach clarified.
"It's over, Tatanga!" Mario declared. "You're dealing with the Super Mario Bros. now!"
"And me without my autograph book," Tatanga smirked before laughing evilly.
"What's so funny!?" Daisy demanded.
"You think you've stopped my plan?"
"Uhh, yeah? You're outnumbered nine-to-one."
"Hardly..." Tatanga grinned. "We're five for five. Isn't that right, Your Highnesses?"
"What?" Daisy let out.
"Quite right indeed," Zamasu rose, his eyes glowing purple. "I'm sick and tired of this pathetic excuse for a princess. She doesn't deserve the power or prestige of her title."
"Zamasu?" Daisy turns to see the other rulers looking at her menacingly, all of them with the same glowing purple eyes.
"Oh no…" Luigi gasped. "They've been brainwashed!"
"He's right," Totahmet growled. "You're not fit to be princess. It's high time you were dethroned."
"Down with flowers, dudes!" Trompal declared.
"He's... he's gotten to all of them," Daisy managed.
"Princess..."
Daisy felt a chill down her spine as the room filled with ominous mist."
"M-Madame Hua?"
Hua's eyes glowed, the mist swirling around her menacingly. "Perish!"
The cloud's tendrils charged at her…
Author's Note:
(1): Jackass
Oh, snap! Tatanga's made his move, and the rulers are under his evil spell. Can Mario save the day?
As you can see, we're giving the enemies of Super Mario Land proper translated names.
Voice cast for this chapter:
* Hua: Kelly Hu (Pearl on The Vampire Diaries, China White on Arrow, Karai on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012, Stacy Hirano on Phineas and Ferb, Adira in Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, Lady Shiva in Batman: Arkham Origins)
* Totahmet: Kevin Michael Richardson (Trigon, Mammoth and See-More in both Teen Titans and Teen Titans Go!, Antauri in Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!, Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012, Stump Smash and Tree Rex in Skylanders, Rosie in F Is for Family, Barney Rubble in The Flintstones: On the Rocks, the Mauler Twins and Monster Girl in Invincible, Chairman Drek in Ratchet & Clank, Joker in The Batman)
* Zamasu: Billy Zane (Kit Walker/The Phantom in The Phantom, Match in Back to the Future, Lieutenant Val Kozlowski in Memphis Bell, The Collector in Demon Knight, Curtis Zampf in The Believer, Ansem in the original Kingdom Hearts, Cal Hockley in James Cameron's Titanic)
* Trompal: Townsend Coleman (Michelangelo in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1987, Wayne Gretzky on ProStars, Jason Whittaker in Adventures in Odyssey, Wally in Where's Wally?, The Tick)
Please R&R. Until next time!