A/N- Tiny edits, thank you guest!

Chapter 20

That afternoon, Elizabeth, Jane and Mrs. Gardiner were sharing tea in the drawing room. Alex was with a maid in the back parlor, until he had need of his mama.

"Tell me again, how much did you say was in your funds?" Mrs. Gardiner had a hand held to her cheek and her eyes were wide.

"Twenty-three thousand pounds."

"I have heard it several times and I still cannot fathom it. You had no idea, Lizzy?"

"I had no comprehension it was so large a sum. You know me well, aunt, as long as I am comfortable I do not require more. Gregory assured me we would be and I did not inquire further. I knew he had removed some of the capital when we married, but I lived so quietly and frugally after he sailed, I had no need for more than he had set up for me. It was only after he passed and the funds froze, when I experienced difficulties.

"You will have more than enough now to provide for yourself and Alex." Mrs. Gardiner reassured her niece.

"What will you do Lizzy?" Jane had been sitting quietly until this comment.

"First, I am going to hire a nurse for Alex. There will be much to do and I cannot watch him myself all day. It is unfair to expect aunt and uncle to rearrange their servants to care for him."

Mrs. Gardiner tsked. "Lizzy, no one who watches him is upset to have such a sweet burden."

"Yet, this is exactly what the money is for, and Alex deserves the best of what I can now afford."

"Very well. Task number one, place an advert in the paper. Or would you rather send out requests for word of mouth recommendations? What else?"

"I need to decide where to reside. I am not fond of the city for long term living. I am afraid I would lose my mind with no easy access to nature. And it is more expensive, which is a more pertinent fact. So, the country somewhere, I think, but not too far away. Near the city he will have access to tutors and it would worry me if you were so far from family."

"The weather is turning quite pleasant. Perhaps we can arrange day trips to scope out the surrounding villages." Mrs. Gardiner had risen and retrieved paper and pencil from her escritoire. She was now writing out Elizabeth's thoughts.

"Aunt I would like to sit with you on expected costs. Creating my own budget will help guide with what I may or may not be able to afford."

Jane had remained silent and Elizabeth was confused by her lack of support.

"Jane?"

"Hmmm? Yes, Lizzy?"

"I am open to hearing your thoughts."

"I am happy for you."

"Thank you, dearest, but I was hoping more for an opinion."

"On what?"

"On where you might wish to live?"

Jane blinked at her, "I beg your pardon?"

"Jane, you are my dearest sister. For as long as you can stand me, I will always want you with me."

"I can live with you?"

"Of course, Jane." Elizabeth gave a little laugh. "How could you think otherwise?"

"I… I do not know. I felt perhaps my place was to return to Longbourn-"

"Stop!" Elizabeth rose to sit beside her sister and took both Jane's hands "Jane, look at me."

The shiny eyes of her older sister tremulously met Elizabeth's.

"Unless you wish it for yourself, you will not be returning to Longbourn. The choice is yours, but you will always have a home with Alex and me.

Jane bestowed on her sister her sweetest smile. "What was it you used to say, Lizzy? You will teach my children to play their instrument very ill? Well that is what I shall do. Teach Alex to run around like a heathen and play his instrument ill."

The sisters embraced, teary eyed and wet cheeked. Elizabeth was relieved to see Jane smiling again. She pulled back, "I am glad we have that settled. Now, we have work to do and lists to compile."

More tea was drunk while suggestions and ideas were written down.

"The yearly amount from the 4% will be near one thousand pounds per anum. However, I may wish to discuss with uncle investment opportunities. Using a portion of the whole. It could bring a better return and be a nest-egg for Alex's future, when he comes of age."

"That is a fine idea, and you can discuss it with your uncle in the evening. It suits you to think so forwardly. You never were averse to taking risks. For now, we shall seek a nurse for Alex." Mrs. Gardiner tapped a pencil on the paper in front of her. "Have you given thought to a wet nurse? It will free you to sleep better at night. Your days may be busy with all these new arrangements to be made."

"Let us see who applies or is recommended. I should like to continue nursing Alex, but I will think on it. Nothing need be decided today. Now, all is as it should be and we can rest easy."

~ / ~

Lady Matlock called on Georgiana one morning to see how she was faring after the last few events she attended.

"Georgiana, I simply must know if any eligible gentleman has caught your eye? Lord Grantly and Viscount Simpson both inquired about you. They are highly sought after due to their positions in Society."

"Lady Matlock, while I have enjoyed the beautiful new gowns and entertainments, as of yet, no one has interested me."

"Hmm… Well, what about the young ladies? Surely one young lady might seem as if she would suit your brother."

"Aunt, I will not make the mistake of either gossiping about my brother, or forcing any lady on to his notice." Georgiana shifted in her seat so she faced her aunt straight on. "Aunt, you and uncle are very dear to us. Pray understand, neither of us will be pushed or rushed into a match not of our choosing or one which will not guarantee mutual felicity."

Lady Matlock's gaze rested on her niece, examining her countenance for several minutes. Finally, she gave a little sigh. "I see you are holding firm to your resolution. It is not how I would have arranged your come out, or your search for a husband. I only hope you do not regret these decisions in the future."

"The only regrets I would have are not being true to myself and making the wrong choice of husband. It is after all, for life."

Lady Matlock patted Georgiana's hand. "It is, my dear. That it is." She took a sip of tea and lowered the cup onto its saucer, her head pensively tilted down.

The silence grew and Georgiana wished to distract her aunt from whatever thoughts seemed to be affecting her. "Did Lord Matlock tell you he was able to help release the funds for Mrs. Carrington? She was so grateful and pleased she could now begin to make plans for herself and Alex."

"Georgiana, you remain in contact with that woman? Surely, you can see there is a vast chasm between the Fitzwilliams and a nobody widow."

"Lady Matlock." Georgiana rose to her feet and took a few steps away, turned and faced her aunt who was still seated. "Mrs. Carrington is not a nobody, she is my friend. Besides, I am a Darcy, first and foremost. My mother certainly felt it was good enough for her." Her courage slipped a little and her hands twisted together in front of her. "Do I embarrass you? If so, I am just as happy to return to Pemberley and attend the assemblies in Lambton."

"Of course not. Well, I… Really, Georgiana." Lady Matlock exhaled and placed her teacup on the tray. "You will do no such thing." She reached out a hand to her niece, waiting for Georgiana to take it. When she did, the older woman pulled until the girl sat back down next to her on the settee. "I can see I have been too forceful. Allow me to say, despite my contrariness, your happiness is all I wish for you. I shall attempt to keep my own opinions on what your happiness should entail, to myself."

"Thank you, Aunt. Neither I nor my brother would be happy if we were forced to cut you from our lives." Biting her lower lip, Georgiana fought to keep her smile from showing. Yet, it still showed through.

With a wag of her finger and shaking her head, Lady Matlock smiled, too. "You have been spending too much time with Richard. He shall feel my wrath for turning your sweet disposition into a teasing and stubborn one."

"Oh, it is not all Richard, Aunt. My friend and her sister are a good influence, too." Georgiana tilted her head, "I think, if you should ever have reason to meet them, you would like them very much.

"Oh?"

"Miss Bennet is beautiful, but she is kind, too, though quite reserved. Mrs. Carrington has a vitality which was not apparent when we first met her. She was too tired and fearful then, I suppose. She wishes to see the joy in life, and is a great listener. However, she will not hesitate to contradict if she holds an opposing opinion."

"That would not be well accepted in our circles."

"I think it is refreshing. There is no falseness in either of them."

"Hmph. That may be the case, but there is little reason for my ever meeting them."

Lady Matlock stood to depart and so did not see Georgiana's rolling of her eyes before quickly recomposing herself.

~ / ~

A couple of days went by with no contact between Darcy House and the Gardiner residence. The Darcys were busy with several events, but both were all anticipation for their dinner at the Gardiners that evening.

"I am so excited to be in their company again." They were in the Darcy carriage on their way to the Gardiners. "It feels like it has been an age." Georgiana's wide smile gleamed at Darcy from her side of the benches.

While his own excitement needed to be tapped down, Darcy allowed a small smile of his own to linger on his lips.

The coach came to a halt in front of the Gardiners home and Darcy waited for the step to be placed by the footman before exiting the coach. He straightened his waistcoat before turning around and offering his hand to Georgiana to assist her down.

A maid welcomed them in and took their outer garment, informing them the Gardiners awaited them in the drawing room. The Darcys followed in her wake as the maid escorted and announced them. Darcy nearly halted his steps at his first sight of Mrs. Carrington.

It took Darcy a moment to comprehend why the sight of her struck him so. Her hair was done up in a more elaborate style than usual, but her fashionable dress was the impetus for his faster heart rate.

Elizabeth stood next to Jane, waiting for Georgiana and Mr. Darcy to enter. She nervously ran her hands down the skirts of her gown, still unsure about wearing it.

When the Darcys entered everyone gave their courtesies and Georgiana and her brother approached the sisters. While his sister was complimenting Jane on her new gown, Mr. Darcy had bowed over Elizabeth's hand.

"You look beautiful this evening Mrs. Carrington."

Her slight flush at his compliment only enhanced the luminous shine of her eyes. The dove grey fabric and blue trimmings were a far cry from stark, black widow weeds.

"Thank you, sir. I am not strictly in my half mourning yet, but I did wish to dress for the occasion. It feels like a celebration of sorts," she bit her lip. "Is that wrong?"

He shrugged one shoulder, "From a widower to a widow? I am constantly in a state of doubt, wondering what Anne might wish for me? I am afraid I have no good answers for you, madam. Only, perhaps to trust your instincts?"

She nodded. "And we are a private party, no one else will know."

"Indeed." They were called in for dinner and Darcy looked to Mrs. Gardiner who waved him off and took her husband's arm.

He offered his to the pretty woman beside him. Not even recollecting Georgiana. She and Jane followed behind them, hiding smiles behind their hands.

Seating was informal, but with such a small group everyone shared in the conversation. Once the first course was cleared, Mr. Darcy said, "I admit I can no longer contain my curiosity. Did you meet with success at the attorney's office?"

Mr. Gardiner let out a chuckle, "You held out longer than I had anticipated. Yes, yes, we were met with full courtesy and everything went smoothly. Lizzy is now in possession of her inheritance."

Gardiner raised his glass of wine. "A toast to Mr. Darcy, Lord Matlock and Lizzy and Alex. May you all have long, happy lives." The diners raised their glasses and joined the toast.

Elizabeth looked up to see Mr. Darcy's eyes were on her and she blushed, again. Not even halfway through your year of mourning and already you are affected by another man? It is unseemly. She took in a breath and willed her color to fade.

During the dessert Darcy leaned toward her, "Mrs. Carrington, should you require a man of business, I mean, I realize Mr. Gardiner is… but, a man who invests, that is… For the love of… Shut up, man.

Elizabeth was intrigued by the flush rising in Darcy's cheeks. She would not have thought him a man to easily fluster. "I believe I understand, sir. Should I require advice my uncle cannot provide I will let you know. Again, you are too kind. Words cannot express my gratitude-"

"I require no gratitude." He cut her off, then shot her an apologetic look. "You are Georgie's friend. We are friends. If I can help, I would be happy to."

"Friends." She tilted her head and searched his face. He knew not for what. Finally, she offered him a smile, that sweet smile of hers, and he could breathe again. "Indeed, sir. We are friends."

The rest of the evening passed enjoyably, the food was excellent, conversation plentiful and the company was willing to be pleased.

Near the end of the evening, as Darcy and Georgiana mentioned it was nearing time to depart, plans were made between his sister and Elizabeth's to accompany the Gardiner children to the park. The weather promised to be pleasant and the next day was considered suitable for their outing.

Seeing Elizabeth was not joining in the discussion, Darcy stepped to her side. "You are not joining them?"

She raised her face to look up at him. Amazed again at how tall and handsome he was. I hope he never finds out how he affects me. I would be disappointed to lose his respect. She placed a hand on her tummy in an effort to calm the butterflies suddenly fluttering in her middle.

"I will not go out unless I must, until I reach half mourning." They shared a commiserating smile. "It is easier for men, I think." Her thoughts found voice almost without her awareness.

"What is?"

"You are in full mourning but you are free to be active. Sitting at home wallowing in the loss, it is," she huffed out a breath, "complicated."

"Being busy is as well. We are encouraged to be active; expected to join social events. To conduct business, or in the case of a widower, to remarry if he has children seeking a mother for them, and if not, he must seek a wife to sire an heir."

They shared another look. Elizabeth had missed this, the open discourse of thoughts and ideas between two adults. It was enjoyable speaking to an intelligent young man again.

"I find the busyness keeps me from processing. Anne was my family. It was not a love match, but it was love. She was a kind person who never had a chance at living."

She touched his sleeve in understanding. "Life cut off too soon makes little sense. Even more so when the person was a good soul."

"Brother," they both started. So intent were they on their own conversation, the others had been forgotten.

He smiled at Elizabeth, raised her hand and bowed over it. Then turned to his sister. "I am afraid I am busy tomorrow. Be sure to take a maid and two footmen with you when you travel and to the park."

"Yes, brother. Of course."

Goodnights and farewells swirled behind the Darcys while they walked down the steps to the street and climbed into their carriage.

Jane excused herself immediately, claiming tiredness and said goodnight. Mr. Gardiner excused himself to his study to finish a little work in preparation for the following day. Mrs. Gardiner looked at Elizabeth and slowly raised her brows.

"Aunt, may we speak?"

"Of course, Lizzy. Shall we order tea?"

"No, aunt. I need just a few minutes of your time."

They returned to the drawing room where candles were still lit, and sat very near to each other so they could speak with no possibility of being overheard.

Elizabeth took a few moments to gather her thoughts and better clarify them into speech. "You know my marriage to Gregory was a short one. He was a good man and treated me kindly. But," she bit her lip and whispered, "why does it feel like a betrayal to say this." She shook her head and straightened her shoulders. "I did not love him when we married. I respected him and had an affection for him. It is possible we would have been happy together, if we had the time to come to know one another and to deeply love. I shall never know.

"He deserves my mourning. How can I be so taken by another man, especially as barely any time has passed since Gregory's death. Oh, it is nonsensical. To feel -whatever I am feeling- for someone who can never be anything more than a friend."

"Lizzy, you are being too hard on yourself. Gregory was a good man, and we have proof he was a thoughtful and caring husband. He probably would have made a good father, too. But, no, you did not have the time to grow and love him, you did not even have the time to grow more deeply attached in your few months together." Mrs. Gardiner lowered her voice more, "Mr. Darcy is a very handsome man, and in character, quite similar to Gregory. It is natural, I think, for… feelings to be felt. You are not a maiden, you know attraction can exist between a man and a woman even without deep and abiding love.

"I have seen Mr. Darcy look at you on occasion and he seems quite keen, but I agree, your positions in life are too far apart. It would be irresponsible of me to encourage you in this direction."

"So, what do I do?"

"You acknowledge the feelings, accept they are a natural part of being a mature woman and forgive yourself for having them despite your mourning. I fear if you fight them the guilt will weigh you down."

"I cannot distance myself from Georgiana. The pain a separation between us would cause is too unkind. Besides, I like her and wish to remain her friend."

"Then you must remind yourself daily - 'Mr. Darcy is only a friend'."