Notes: Updating exactly three years later, yeahhh!

Maki and Mikan's views on religion are their own and not necessarily those of the writer, haha.

Decorating with the Stars in the Sky
Part 2

For a while, any conversation that Mikan had with Harukawa tended to be over text. Harukawa's visits were usually much shorter than Mikan's volunteer shifts, after all, and even when she was there and they did happen to cross paths, there wasn't much time to talk.

Conversing over text suited Mikan better, anyway. She didn't feel pressured to immediately think of a contribution to the discussion, free to take the time to think of a response that was least likely to make Harukawa hate her.

She chose not to think too hard on how important it was to her that Harukawa didn't hate her. There wasn't any special reason behind it; Mikan didn't want anyone to hate her.

After about three weeks of texting, however, Mikan happened to cross paths with Harukawa as she was leaving, just inside the front lobby.

"Ah—! Ha-Harukawa-san...!" Mikan exclaimed without thinking, and as the other girl glanced up from her phone, her attention caught, Mikan realized with trepidation that she was probably meant to initiate further conversation now—immediately so. She gripped the straps of her school bag tightly, ever more anxious under Harukawa's crimson glaze. "Uh... um... Y-you're leaving rather late today...?" Her tone tipped upward into a questioning lilt, unsure even as the words left her lips. "Is something the matter?"

"Everything's fine," Harukawa responded brusquely, sliding her phone into her own school bag before slipping the strap over her shoulder. "Hiroto had an examination scheduled for the late evening today, so I decided to stay long enough to see him afterward, that's all."

"I see..." Mikan fidgeted with her bag strap again, now fraying at the edges from a year and a half of worrying at it. "Just, um... d-don't overwork yourself! It's not healthy to stay out so late..."

Harukawa raised an eyebrow. "I could say the same to you. This is the normal time you leave every day, right?"

Mikan's fingers froze. "Ah... yes. But, well, in my case... it's..." She trailed off into silence, unsure of what she would say, even if she had wanted to open up to Harukawa.

Harukawa sighed, tugging free her pigtails trapped by her bag strap before heading towards the doors leading outside. "It's fine. Don't talk about anything you don't want to," she said breezily.

"Ah... um..." Mikan watched as the other girl passed by her, gripping the strap of her own bag ever tighter as she took a hesitant step forward. "U-um! Can..."

Harukawa stopped and turned to face her, her brow arching inquisitively.

"C-can I..." Mikan hesitated, anxious, afraid to vocalize the words even if it would make her life a whole lot easier. "I-is it all right if I walk towards the train station with you...?"

Harukawa was silent a moment, the corners of her lips pulling downward just slightly, though her fingers raked through a pigtail. Mikan wasn't sure if it was meant to be her nervous tick or if it was simply from fixing her hair a minute earlier. "You don't need to bother asking that," she said finally.

Mikan let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "R-really...?"

"Actively avoiding each other while going to the same station would just be a pain otherwise." She paused before continuing, her gaze cast to the side. "Besides... we're friends."

Right... She and Harukawa were friends! When she thought about it that way, Mikan realized that she had long since stopped asking her friends from school for permission to walk with them as they left the school gates, too. Trying not to let out a giggle that sounded too disgusting, she fell into step next to Harukawa and just outside the exit.

"Not sure I'll be heading directly to the station, though," Harukawa commented as they started on their way. "I've missed dinner by this point, so I need to get something to eat..."

"Oh, yes, make sure you feed yourself!" Mikan said, fretting. "You skipped dinner to stay at the hospital this late...?"

Harukawa nodded, her dark pigtails bobbing with the motion. "How about you? If you stay this late every day, do you use the nurses' station to fix dinner for yourself, or...?"

"Oh, not at all!" Mikan shook her hands in front of her as a way of denial. "I'm, you know, just too much of a klutz to cook anything for myself, hehe. I usually just buy dinner at a convenience store on my way home."

"Convenience store dinners?" Harukawa's brows furrowed. "Every day? Is that really okay?"

"O-oh, well..." Mikan's steps slowed, and she was a little surprised that Harukawa was kind enough to match her speed. "W-well, of course, it's a bit difficult to make sure you get all the proper vitamins and minerals you need, b-but if you pay attention to the nutritional labels and make up for what's missing with supplements, it's really not... so bad..."

Harukawa shook her head. "I mean, sure, there's that, but I mean..." She sighed, the faint mist telling that December was just around the corner. "You just eat by yourself every night, then?"

"I... well..." Mikan wasn't sure how to answer that—what was Harukawa expecting to hear? what would make Harukawa least likely to hate her?—so she simply gave a weak smile and a nervous giggle.

With another sigh and a swift motion, Harukawa had extracted her phone from her bag. "Fine, then. What's around here?"

"Around here? There's a 7-Eleven around that corner, and then at the station there's—"

"I'm not talking about convenience stores," Harukawa muttered, tapping at her phone with a frown in place. "I mean a family restaurant or something, where we can actually sit down for dinner."

"We?!" Mikan gripped her bag strap tightly, the canvas surely leaving imprints on her palms by this point. "I don't— Really, I'm fine with just—"

"Just shut up," Harukawa snapped, and Mikan wasn't sure what face she had made in response but it must have been something ugly and pitiful because the other girl immediately put a hand to her forehead with another sigh. "No, I mean... Just. If we both need to eat dinner anyway, it only makes sense for us to sit down somewhere instead of loitering outside a convenience store to eat, you know?"

"Oh..." Mikan figured that that made some sense. "I... well, if you don't mind someone like me as company, then..."

With a brisk nod, Harukawa didn't even vocalize an answer to the self-deprecation, giving her phone a final tap with a brisk nod. "Okay. There's a place two blocks this way that's still open, so let's go."

Mikan rarely went to restaurants, not because she preferred convenience store fare but more because she thought it probably looked weird and creepy for her to go by herself. Harukawa didn't seem like the kind of person to worry about that sort of thing, though, and as they were seated at a booth in the family restaurant, she found the courage to ask what she thought the only other possibility for their impromptu outing might be. "Harukawa-san, are you... um..."

"Hmm?" Harukawa didn't spare her much of a glance as she opened up the menu on the table.

"A-are you the sort of person who prefers company during meals?"

The pigtailed girl dropped the page of the menu she held open, letting it slap loudly against the table and making Mikan jump in surprise. "What do you—"

"I— I'm sorry!" Mikan added in a rush. "I'm sorry for asking a stupid question, I didn't mean to make you mad—!"

"I'm not mad," Harukawa muttered as she picked the menu up again, and indeed, when Mikan managed to look her in the face again, she could see that the other girl's cheeks were dusted a light pink, but not out of anger. Instead she seemed... flustered, perhaps? "That's not... really how I'd describe myself," she said finally, tugging on her bangs as she looked over the menu. "But... maybe I have become like that a bit, sure. It's not like I believe in sentimental 'food tastes better with friends' stuff, but..."

Mikan nodded solemnly. "I've heard there's a scientific basis for that, but..."

Harukawa huffed something that sounded almost like a laugh, her lips tugging upward. "Yeah, I don't really buy it. But my parents are big on family values and stuff, so I guess they might have rubbed off on me some by now. They're not super strict, but their one sticking point is that they want me home for dinner every night."

"They do?!" Mikan sat ramrod straight, alarmed. "Th-then... are you really okay having dinner here with me instead?! Shouldn't you hurry and—" She trailed off as Harukawa held up a hand to silence her.

"I've already missed dinner by this point," she assured her, "and my parents are fine with it, I told them beforehand. They can live without having me at the dinner table for once in their life."

"Y-yes, but..."

"Relax." Harukawa slid the second menu across the table, silently urging Mikan to start deciding on her own order. "Besides, I've already told you they're supportive of me visiting Hiroto. Staying out late sometimes is just a part of that."

"But I'm not Hiroto-san..."

Harukawa laughed again. "No, indeed you're not. My parents won't mind me spending time with you either, though."

"Why not?" Mikan withered even as she began perusing the menu. "They don't even know what kind of person I am..."

"Not yet, but you're..."

Confused to hear that Harukawa had trailed off, Mikan looked up again, brows furrowed. "Yes?"

Her face morphing into a frown again, Harukawa sighed and closed her menu to fiddle with her pigtails. "You're my friend."

"I... yes, I suppose, but..." Mikan fell quiet, expecting that Harukawa would say something to fill the silence, but she didn't, letting the atmosphere stay as it was for a minute before confirming that Mikan had decided on her order and pressing the waiter call button.

It wasn't until after they had ordered their food that Harukawa picked up the conversation again. "My parents are Christian," Harukawa said.

"O-oh?" Mikan faltered a bit. Her image of Christians were people who stood outside of train stations shouting scripture of fire and brimstone. They were scary and she tried to avoid them at all costs.

"Not the type you're probably imagining," Harukawa continued, chuckling. "They're more the 'love thy neighbor' type, into doing good deeds and the like. It's why they're fine with me helping out with Hiroto, and I'm sure they'd be fine with me having dinner with you, too."

"I see..." Mikan pondered that for a moment. "Um, Harukawa-san, what about you...?"

"What about me?" Harukawa took a moment to piece together the train of the conversation, then sat back with a huff. "I know that if God did exist, then he wouldn't let even half the stuff I've seen happen."

Mikan nodded in agreement. "Y-yeah, me too..." She crossed her ankles together, rubbing them together subconsciously.

"My parents aren't the type to try to convert everyone they meet, though," Harukawa continued, idly opening up the utensil drawer and setting out forks and knives for both of them. "They encourage me to do good, but they respect that I don't have to believe what they believe for that to happen."

"They sound like good people," Mikan commented, smiling.

"Better than what I deserve," Harukawa agreed, a light flush across her cheeks, "but it is what it is. I won't look a gift horse in the mouth." She narrowed her eyes slightly, peering over at Mikan. "Do you... want to meet them sometime?"

"Me?!" Mikan shook her head and raised her hands in front of her face, nearly hitting the server delivering their food in her flailing. "I- I couldn't...! To meet such wonderful people...!"

"It's not that big of a deal," Harukawa huffed, plucking up her fork to begin picking at her food. "Besides, it's not like food like this is much better than convenience store stuff. You should have a home-cooked meal every once in a while, and I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind having you over for dinner."

"I- I really couldn't..."

Harukawa's crimson gaze flashed to Mikan for a moment, staying there for a moment, her fingers tightening around the fork. Finally she relaxed with a sigh, turning back to her meal. "It's just a thought. You don't have to give an answer right away, the invitation is there whenever you want it."

Mikan pulled her mouth closed uneasily, poking at her food. No matter how long the invitation was going to be there, she was pretty sure her answer would always be "no." It was just so much more than she deserved. She couldn't dare to intrude on what seemed to be such a lovely family. Not someone like her.

Her stomach churned with anxiety, but not wanting to waste the food in front of her, Mikan cut off a piece of the hamburg steak and slowly took a bite.

Oh.

Feeling pathetic, she brushed away the tears that has sprung from her eyes, hoping that Harukawa hadn't noticed.

Mikan still didn't believe that food tasted significantly better with a friend. But, well...

Maybe eating with Harukawa wasn't so bad, after all.

After that, it became somewhat of a routine to have a late dinner with Harukawa every so often. It wasn't anything that they planned for, but about twice a week or so Mikan would find Harukawa still hanging around the lobby when she left for the night, so they'd make their way to the same family restaurant, order the same meals while engaging in reserved idle chatter, and Harukawa would, at some point, invite Mikan to her home for dinner, and Mikan would refuse.

It wasn't until her invitation became, "My parents want to have you over for dinner," that Mikan was worn down and finally accepted.

So, about a week before Christmas, Mikan left the hospital early one night alongside Harukawa, both heading for the same destination.

"It's a bit of a long train ride," Harukawa warned as they made their way through the ticket gates. "And during rush hour, too. Sorry about that."

"N-no, it's not your fault!" Mikan stuttered, not wanting her... friend to feel bad for something she had no power over.

Mikan didn't like crowded trains, but they were an inevitability when traveling Tokyo at that time of day. Predictably, the train was crowded when they boarded—not crushingly so, but it was still standing-room only. Mikan noticed Harukawa carefully stepping between Mikan and the crowd, shielding her from the mass of people, and Mikan blushed. "Oh, you... you don't have to..."

"Don't have to what?" Harukawa cut in sharply, her tone commanding that there were no arguments to be made, even as she ran her fingers through a pigtail with a light dusting of pink across her cheeks.

So Mikan stayed silent, standing within the comfortable bubble of space created by Harukawa.

At some point during the train ride, Harukawa managed to secure a vacated seat, which she offered to Mikan while she remained standing, holding on to the hand strap directly above it.

"So just to warn you, my parents can be a little over-affectionate," Harukawa said conversationally. "I've already told them to hold back, but..."

"O-oh, don't worry about me!" Mikan waved her hands in front of her defensively, even as her nerves spiked a bit at the thought of undeserved affection. "I wouldn't want them to hold back on my account...!"

Harukawa hummed noncommittally, but said nothing, her knees slightly knocking into Mikan's with the shaking of the train.

After about a forty minute train ride followed by an eight-minute walk, they arrived at a row of Western-style connected homes, and Harukawa guided them to the second one in the lineup, with her last name on the nameplate outside. Without fanfare, she opened the door and coolly announced, "I'm home."

Mikan's senses were immediately overcome with the savory scents of food being cooked, but she barely had time to process that before a man and a woman had arrived in the entranceway to warmly welcome Harukawa home, before quickly turning their attention to Mikan.

"Welcome, come on in!" said the man, with glasses and short black hair combed back neatly.

"We've so been looking forward to meeting you, Tsumiki-san!" gushed the woman, who had brown hair styled into a short bob, as she placed a conservatively comforting hand on Mikan's shoulder.

"I- I'm sorry for intruding on your home," Mikan stuttered out with a low bow.

"Oh, nonsense!" the woman laughed. "You aren't intruding at all!"

"Just make yourself at home," the man agreed, accepting the box of cookies that Mikan had brought as a gift. "Dinner should be ready in about fifteen minutes, so you girls can do your own thing in the meantime. Maki, why don't you give her a tour of the house?"

"It's just a house, Dad," Harukawa grunted, having removed her boots and stepping out of the entranceway.

"Well, yes, but..."

"I- I wouldn't mind seeing the house," Mikan said softly, if only to be gracious to her guests.

Harukawa gave her a measured look before sighing and jerking her head towards what seemed to be a living room. "All right, then we'll start over here..."

The tour was short and uneventful, ending in Harukawa's own second-story bedroom—as Harukawa had said, it was Just A House. Mikan had been relieved to find that there was no hint of any crazy Christian rituals inside the house, aside from a Christmas tree and other seasonal trimmings, as well as a crucifix just inside the entranceway which was actually very prettily decorated. Otherwise, it was any normal house in which any normal happy family would reside. That alone was novel enough to Mikan, though.

"You have a very nice home," Mikan commented, looking around Harukawa's bedroom as she sat on the floor. It was a rather plain-looking bedroom with just a touch of girlishness to it. A select few stuffed animals sat at the foot of the bed, and Mikan spotted a collection of Junji Ito manga on the bookshelf.

Harukawa, sitting on the edge of her bed, shrugged. "It's better than the orphanage, to be sure."

"How long have you been... y-you know..." Mikan wasn't sure how to phrase her question. "How long have you lived here?"

Harukawa tilted her head, pigtails cascading over her shoulders, but seemed to catch on to the inquiry. "My parents adopted me when I was eleven," she said, plucking a stuffed sheep from the foot of her bed and picking at its plush ears idly. "So it's been five, almost six years now. All things considered, I haven't actually been 'Harukawa' for that long." Her fingers paused, and her face reddened just slightly. "So, y'know... If you wanted, you could just call me 'Maki' instead."

"O-oh no, I...!" Mikan waved her hands in front of her, her own face warming slightly. "Calling you by your first name... I- I couldn't...!"

"It was just a suggestion," Harukawa said with a shrug, tossing the sheep aside even as her face retained its rosy tint. "Call me anything you want, it's whatever."

"Y-yeah..." Mikan could feel an uncomfortable silence falling between them, but mercifully they were spared of its full effect as they were called downstairs for dinner.

"Come on, let's go," Harukawa muttered as she got off her bed, leading the way to the hallway and down the stairs.

Mikan hadn't been sure what sort of dinner to expect from Harukawa's family, though it had smelled wonderful from the moment she stepped into the house. It turned out to be a normal Japanese family dinner: white rice, miso soup, pork cutlet on a bed of cabbage, and pickled vegetables. Mikan was hesitant to dig in; it all seemed so lavish to her eyes, much more than she ever deserved. She hated to seem ungrateful, though, so she hesitantly took a tiny bite of pickled daikon, then a small morsel of rice, then a nibble of cutlet.

"O-oh...!" She could barely contain the cry of surprise that escaped her lips as the pork seemed to melt on her tongue. "This... it's delicious!"

Harukawa's mother smiled gently. "Thank you, dear. Papa is quite skilled at frying," she said, giving her husband an appreciative nod.

"It's definitely better fresh," Harukawa commented next to Mikan, "instead of out of the cold case at the convenience store."

Mikan nodded appreciatively as she continued to eat. To think that Harukawa would give up home-cooked meals like these to eat at a family restaurant with her twice a week... It was just such a shame. Her throat knotted at the thought, and overcome with guilt, she turned to Harukawa and bowed her head. "I... I'm so sorry!"

"What?" Harukawa just blinked owlishly at her, dropping one of her chopsticks in surprise. "What are you apologizing for? You didn't do anything."

Harukawa's mother chuckled and reached out to place a hand atop Mikan's. Mikan's immediate reflex was to pull away with a squeak, but something about the touch was soft and comforting, and she managed to quell the urge to retreat. "Whatever you're apologizing for, I'm sure Maki forgives you," she said gently.

"Oh...!" Mikan realized that the context for her apology would have been missing for them, but she couldn't find the words to explain the complex feelings of guilt swirling within her, so she settled for simply nodding her head with a light blush on her cheeks and continuing to eat.

"So, Tsumiki-san," Harukawa's father began as they settled into a comfortable dinnertime mood. "Maki tells us that the two of you met at the hospital, right?"

Harukawa shot her father a sharp look for some reason, and he responded by holding up a disarming hand before continuing.

"You do volunteer work there, right? Tell us about that."

"Oh, well..." Mikan poked at her food idly as she considered her answer, not wanting to end up speaking with her mouth full. "I- I just do menial tasks, mostly. I help tidy up and make sure to sanitize the waiting room from time to time... I can't help with any actual procedures, of course, so..."

"I'm sure the work you do there is appreciated regardless," Harukawa's mother said indulgently.

Mikan actually found herself giggling bashfully at that. "N-no, I'm sure I get in the way more often than not. I'm just grateful that they let me keep coming back."

"If you really were in the way I'm sure they'd tell you to scram," Harukawa said bluntly.

"Maki," said her father warningly.

Harukawa only shrugged, and Mikan giggled again.

"No, I guess she has a point," she said diplomatically. "I just... hope I can continue to be useful to them."

Harukawa's mother hummed thoughtfully. "Well, I'm just glad the two of you were able to meet each other there."

"Mom."

"Yes, dear, I know. Because the two of you have become such good friends, right?"

Friends. Mikan sucked in a breath. She had heard Harukawa say the same innumerable times before, and it had always filled her chest with a distant but certain warmth, but now hearing it from someone else... hearing someone else acknowledge them as such...

It felt a little hollow, like something was missing.

"Yes," she agreed finally, carefully, feeling her brows furrow in confusion but trying not to let it show. "I'm... quite good friends with Harukawa-san now."

At her side, Harukawa only grunted in approval, raking her fingers through a pigtail.

The rest of the dinner passed in much the same vein, with friendly, companionable chatter, and Mikan had to admit that it was a nice change of pace. Harukawa's parents were just as wonderful as Harukawa had made them out to be, and Mikan could see herself returning for more visits in the future, if she would be allowed to intrude on their home again.

"I have an idea, Maki," Harukawa's mother commented as she cleared up the empty dinner plates after their meal. "While we get dessert ready, why don't you show Tsumiki-san around the Christmas market? You know, the one in the park two stations over?"

Harukawa groaned slightly. "It'll close in about an hour by the time we get there, though."

"Which will be the perfect time to come back for dessert."

Harukawa huffed, then turned to Mikan. "Well, what do you think? Have any interest in a Christmas market?"

Mikan blinked, considering. Christmas always stayed on the edge of her periphery outside of the hospital; there was never any trace of the holiday at her own home, and so she never paid it any mind outside of her volunteer work. She had never even considered visiting a Christmas market before.

And yet, visiting one now, alongside Harukawa... Well, it almost sounded... fun.

"I... wouldn't mind going," she said meekly.

Harukawa shrugged. "I guess we can go, then."

"Wonderful," her mother cooed, wiping her hands off as she finished clearing the table. "Maki, do you need any spending money?"

"I'm fine, Mom," Harukawa sighed as she made her way to the coat closet, handing Mikan her jacket before pulling out her own. "You gave me my allowance last week, remember?"

"Yes, but still..." Harukawa's mother followed them out into the entrance hall, plucking her pocketbook from the top of the shoe cabinet and taking out two 1000-yen bills. "Here, why don't you pick out something nice for the pediatrics ward while you're there?"

Begrudgingly, Harukawa accepted the money and stuffed it into her skirt pocket. "Fine, if you insist." She shrugged on her jacket and pulled on her boots, shuffling closer to the door to give Mikan room to do the same. When they were both ready to go, she pulled open the door and turned to her mother briefly, a dusting of pink across her cheeks. "We're off, then."

"Have a safe trip!" her mother said to send them off, and after Mikan bowed lowly to her, they were out the door and on the way to the train station.

"What did I tell you?" Harukawa huffed once they were out in the cold. "Over-affectionate."

"I think they're wonderful," Mikan assured her. "You ended up with such a nice family."

Harukawa merely shrugged.

The train wasn't as crowded by that time of night, though seats were still sparse. Harukawa once more honed in on one of the few open seats for Mikan, electing to hold on to one of the straps herself again.

"U-um, I don't mind if I have to stand, too," Mikan suggested softly, feeling a bit like she was under a microscope as Harukawa stared down at her. "Your mother said it was only two stops, right...?"

Harukawa shrugged. "It's not a big deal. I found the seat, so you might as well sit."

Before long, they had arrived at the stop, and a short walk took them to the park full of vendor stalls and cheerful laughter. The trees along the path were strung with twinkling lights, and Mikan gazed up at them in awe.

"It looks gorgeous," she breathed.

Harukawa shrugged, her face flushed in the cold. "It's not bad," she said

They continued to walk through the market, gazing at the various wares for sale, at the intricate ornaments and gimmicky toys, at the various sweets and pastries and fruits. They chose a set of molded chocolates in various Christmas-themed shapes for the pediatrics ward, and then found themselves making their way to a hot cocoa booth to stave off the cold.

"Don't worry about it," Harukawa said when she noticed Mikan pulling out her coin purse. "I'll pay for it."

"Wh-what?" Mikan floundered a bit. "No, I can pay for myself...!"

"I said it's fine," Harukawa said with finality. "You're my friend."

Mikan's heart stuttered in her chest at the use of that word, but this time she could definitely tell that it rang hollow. She was Harukawa's "friend"... Just her "friend"...

She sank into quiet contemplation, only nodding mutely in thanks when the hot cocoa was pushed into her hands and they resumed walking around the illuminated park.

Friends... Mikan wasn't entirely stupid. She knew that the word was being used as a placeholder, a method of going around the true indicator of their bond. A placeholder for... for... for something much more special.

Mikan hadn't wanted to accept it, at first. She was still hesitant to do so, still could barely even believe it to be true, and yet... Being called Harukawa's "friend"... While it had made her happy before, now it just...

It felt like Mikan's very being was being denied.

She clenched her fingers, tightening around the paper cup of warm cocoa in her hands. She didn't like that anymore. Being called Harukawa's "friend"... No, being her friend was fine, of course they were friends, but being Harukawa's "friend," when she was supposed to be so much more...

Mikan stopped in her tracks. Was this how Harukawa felt, too? This feeling of emptiness, of being denied, every time the word "friend" was used to describe their relationship... Had Mikan been causing Harukawa to feel this way as well? All this time?

Since the very start?

"Tsumiki?"

Mikan looked up from the ground, at Harukawa, who had stopped walking as well and was now peering at Mikan curiously.

"Are you okay? You're crying."

Mikan started, raising one hand to rub at her cheeks, which were indeed wet with tears. She let out a slight whine as the tears wouldn't stop flowing, and she shook her head to try and regain her some semblance of composure. She had to say something. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she forced herself to speak. "Ha-Harukawa-san."

Harukawa blinked at her. "Yeah?"

Mikan took another deep breath, the cold air filling her lungs, and after taking a moment to ground herself she powered through. "I'm... I'm your soulmate."

Harukawa was silent for a long moment. Her crimson gaze, usually so hard and impassive, softened in the face of those words. "Yeah," she said at length. "Yeah, you are."

Mikan nodded vigorously, tears still streaming down her face, squeezing her mostly-forgotten cup of hot cocoa.

"Hey, watch it, you're going to spill." With a light laugh, Harukawa relieved Mikan of the drink. "You know that's nothing to cry about, right?"

"I'm not crying because... because of that!" Mikan insisted; the last thing she wanted was to make Harukawa think she still resented their bond. "I'm crying because... because... I've been so unfair to you all this time!"

Harukawa was silent, and Mikan imagined that if her hands hadn't been full with two cups of cocoa, she would have had one raking through a pigtail. "It's not... I mean, I guess it's true that I wasn't really used to dealing with that sort of thing, but..." Harukawa sighed and averted her gaze, biting at her lower lip.

After a long moment, Harukawa spoke up again.

"Tsumiki. Can I see your mark?"

Mikan let out an involuntary squeak at the question. Asking such a thing... it was nearly unheard of, a gross invasion of privacy. When it was asked of someone besides one's own match, of course.

But Harukawa was Mikan's soulmate. It was still an incredibly intimate question to ask, but...

"Y-yes," Mikan stuttered out. "Yes, please."

They made their way to a bench underneath a heating lamp, and as Harukawa placed their cups of hot chocolate to the side, Mikan settled down, her stomach fluttering with nerves. Letting her mark be visible was never a good thing, but this was... different. Surely Harukawa wouldn't react poorly.

The pigtailed girl knelt slowly in front of Mikan, catching her gaze for permission to start unwinding the bandages, and when Mikan nodded her assent, she slowly began unwrapping them.

Mikan's soulmark came visible little by little, the maroon strokes emerging like a flower after a long winter. Finally the bandages fell away completely, revealing the mark down to its soulscript. Harukawa lifted a hesitant hand, tracing her fingers along the mark that must have been intimately familiar to her, around the purple petals and straying to the pockmarked cigarette burns. "These are..." she started, before hardening her gaze and shaking her head, apparently seeing no reason to voice aloud what was obvious. Instead she started again. "This entire area is scar tissue. What happened?"

Mikan flinched; it sounded like an accusation, though even she could tell that Harukawa had tried to insert softeness into the query. "Oh, uh," she started, feeling an ice cold bead of sweat trickle down the back of her neck. "I— My razor slipped the first time I tried shaving my legs! Hehe, I'm just so clumsy, you know..."

Clear disbelief passed through Harukawa's crimson eyes. "I see."

They were silent for a moment, Harukawa continuing to reverently trace her fingertips across Mikan's mark, before finally Mikan couldn't help the confession from bubbling up from her chest.

"I- I'm sorry. That was a lie," she said, stuttering around the truth. "I actually... What really happened was—"

"You don't have to tell me," Harukawa cut in quickly. "You can keep it secret if you want."

Mikan shook her head, long hair fanning out, feeling tears prick at her eyes again. "No, I— I want to— I'm so sorry, I just—" She took a deep breath before continuing. "I tried to remove my mark before."

"Remove it?" Harukawa's brows eased in the face of the truth. "So you—"

"I tried to slice it off," Mikan clarified, her voice unbelievably tiny. "Because... because it only caused the people around me to be upset, and it only caused trouble for me, so I thought it would be better if... if it was gone. But it only came back when the skin healed, and— I'm so sorry, if I had known that it also belonged to such a wonderful person, I would have never—"

"Stop that." Harukawa placed her palm fully atop the mark, and Mikan shivered at the warm touch. "My connection to this mark doesn't matter here. I'm concerned that you hurt yourself."

Mikan choked down a sob. "I- I'm sorry," she said again. "I promise I'll never... never again, not now, now that I..."

Harukawa's brows knit in visible frustration. "I don't know how to convince you that you matter, Tsumiki," she grumbled, taking her hand off the mark again. "I'm really not good at this sort of thing."

Mikan shook her head. "No, don't... Please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault."

"I know it's not my fault, but still..." Harukawa frowned down at the mark. "I wish there was more I could do for you." She pressed her hand against the back of Mikan's calf slightly, urging her to extend her leg. "But for now... if my connection to this mark is enough to keep you safe, then..."

Harukawa leaned over and lightly pressed her lips to the purple mark.

Mikan heard the blood rushing in her ears as her face heated up. "Haru—!" She squeaked, trying not to fidget lest she accidentally kick the other girl in the face.

Harukawa pulled away then, her own cheeks dusted with pink. "That's how serious I am about this," she finally muttered. "Got it?"

Mikan nodded vigorously. "Y-yes, got it, I'll... I'll never, ever touch that mark again, I'll—"

"You can touch it," Harukawa said with a slight giggle as she stood up, extending a hand for Mikan. "I just don't want you to hurt it. Or hurt yourself in general."

Mikan paused, her hand going out to grasp Harukawa's before her brain could catch up. "I— Okay," she said meekly as she stood to join her soulmate. "I'll... I'll be careful."

With a nod, Harukawa passed Mikan her now-chilled cocoa, then picked up her own and began leading them through the park again. "Try not to trip and stuff, either. I know you don't do that on purpose, but..."

"I- I'll try my best!" Mikan said as forcefully as she could muster. "If— If that's what you want, then—"

"I want it for you, not for me," Harukawa said with a sigh. "If that's what will keep you safe for now, then fine, but we really need to work on that."

"R-right, I'm sorry!"

"No more excessive apologizing, either."

"Oh! S-sorry!"

"Tsumiki..."

Mikan giggled uneasily. "I... I really am sorry, though!"

"If you say so." Rolling her eyes, but with a hint of a smile tugging at her lips, Harukawa gave their joined hands a light tug. "Come on, let's finish up here and go home."

"Right!" With a smile, her heart feeling lighter than it had in ages, Mikan happily followed her soulmate along the path dotted with shimmering light.

Notes: Check out this fic on AO3 to see a little comic at the end!