Chapter Twelve

Welcoming Ana with arms outstretched, Her Majesty brightly greets her, "What can I do for you, my dear? Christian says that you wished to see me? I'm grateful that you feel able to call on me for advice, but I'm afraid there's not time for tea today."

Ana receives a warm embrace and a kiss on both cheeks, feeling as if in a dream—she's unused to such affection from anyone, let alone royalty—and stammers, "Uh, yes, I...thank you. I'd like to attend confession before the wedding, and of course my regular priest is days away. I well understand the need for discretion, so asked Christian for advice and..."

Unsure how to proceed, because her fiancée is not a believer, she pauses long enough that Her Majesty suggests, "He deferred to my far superior knowledge of the subject?" She then smiles, adding, "It's all right, Ana. I know he doesn't share our faith, and even understand why."

Not a subject Ana has yet found the courage to broach with Christian. "Is it because of the cruelty he endured as a child?"

"And the horrors he's seen since. Cary is of a similar mind. I've heard it said that there are no apostates on a battlefield, but they assure me it's a misconception; the atrocities of war are just as likely to take a man's faith as his life."

It takes Ana an embarrassing few seconds to comprehend that "Cary" is King Carrick. And then she muses, "Well, at least Christian is baptised now."

"Oh, he was already baptised. What little we know of his infancy came from the midwife who delivered him. I think it's the only time women wield religious power; they can baptise a newborn if the babe or mother is unlikely to survive long after the birth, which thankfully proved erroneous in this case. Unfortunately, she is long dead herself, and the birth was not recorded, so Bishop Diego refused to recognise that the sacrament had been performed, no doubt in an attempt to humble my son." She smiles then and says, "But it doesn't hurt for Christian to occasionally be humbled." Ana also smiles at the idea, but then shakes her head to clear it, so that Her Majesty asks, "His lack of faith troubles you?"

"No, I, uh, his lack is making me finally examine my faith. I've never felt the need to proselytise, but hadn't wondered why. Now, I think it's because my faith is a simple one; if, as they say, there was first only the Creator, then everything, from a pebble to the Pope, is divine."

Her Majesty smiles and says, "It would appear that you and I are also of a similar mind." They're not alone today, and she motions one of the attendants over while informing Ana, "Father Michael will hear your confession. And I consider him a friend." And then she issues the command, "Liz?"

The young woman curtsies and says "Your Majesty," before standing behind Ana.

She's wondering if that means that the conversation is over when Her Majesty says, "Elizabeth understands what is required. Just let her know when you're ready. And, I'm afraid, unless there's something else you need, we'll have to leave it there."

Ana drops into a curtsy before remembering that the Queen's kindness has deemed the gesture unnecessary with only servants to witness it, and rises, saying, "Of course, Your Majesty. Thank you so much for seeing me."

Her Majesty again bothers to embrace Ana, and then holds her shoulders to say, "My son has been fighting one battle or another for two decades now. I have long prayed that he might one day find peace. And I suspect that you, my dear child, could well prove to be the answer to my prayers."

In a daze, Ana can only think to again say "Your Majesty," before leaving.

Outside the room, her heavy thoughts drag her feet to a stop, and Taylor asks, "My Lady?" Since Ana's encounter with Leila, he is never far from her side, even checking her suite before she can enter.

She laughs a little at herself, and resumes walking to explain, "Nothing. It's just...Her Majesty really lives up to her name, doesn't she?"

Taylor's voice is warm when he agrees, "Yes, My Lady." And then he dares, "As do you."

Confused, because one of her fears is that she's not strong enough to rule, Ana asks, "Steele?"

Taylor smiles and shakes his head, saying, "No, My Lady, I meant your given name."

"Oh. You know Russian?"

"I comprehend a little of many languages, My Lady."

A useful trait for a bodyguard. "When there's time, could you perhaps teach me what you know of my mother's language? Katya would oblige, but I've already kept her from home too long, and will release her after I'm married."

"It would be a pleasure, My Lady."

She spares him a smile, saying "Thank you," and then reveals, "I was told the name means 'resurrection' or 'rebirth'."

"As was I, My Lady."

"Taylor?"

"Yes, My Lady?"

"Do you think that, outside of formal occasions, you might call me 'Ana'? You saw, or rather heard, that Her Majesty grants me that favour."

He's silent for several steps, and then replies, "I'll try, My Lady."

Ana laughs and says, "I feared it was too much to ask. So, you think I have been reborn?" She certainly does feel different nowadays.

"No, My Lady, I don't presume to know you so well. I was referring to His Royal Highness."

Yet again brought to a standstill, Ana asks, "You think I've resurrected Christian?"

Taylor smiles slightly and says, "I do, My Lady. He is quite changed since meeting you."

"How so?" When Taylor glances at the only other person who might overhear, Ana reminds him "She attends the Queen," even as Liz smiles and walks far enough away to give them some privacy.

Still, Taylor lowers his voice to explain, "He is...'gentler' doesn't seem apt...nor 'softer'." And then he laughs a little, adding, "I fear that I'm doing My Lord an injustice."

Taking a leap from these clues, Ana guesses, "Less like a whirlwind, and more like a man?"

Taylor's expression brightens and he says, "Exactly that, My Lady. It is as Her Majesty said; he is more at peace since meeting you." And then he bows to conclude, "Thank you, My Lady."

Ana understands that he's thanking her for more than discerning his meaning, and she also bows, saying, "Thank you, for serving him so faithfully."

"Always, My Lady."

It's becoming a daily ritual that the lovers catch up for the few minutes before dinner. This time Christian waits only until they're seated, to ask, "How is Father Michael?"

He sounds, for lack of a better word, friendly, which doesn't fit his lack of faith, so Ana asks, "You know him?"

"Other than to threaten the man, we've not had a conversation."

The individual words all make sense; together they appear gibberish. "Threaten? A priest?"

Christian is quietly smiling at her shock and insists, "Just so."

Though he is smiling, Ana sees none of the signs that might mean he is in jest, and she shakes her head, saying, "Sometimes, I honestly cannot tell whether or not you're serious."

He laughs and says, "I'm glad to hear that you cannot after all discern my every thought. But, in this case, I am in earnest. When he became Mother's confessor, I paid him a visit, informed him that I don't share his faith, and then warned him that, if he ever betrayed the Queen's trust, I would damn both his god and his hell to wreak bloody vengeance on him."

For the first time afraid for Christian's soul, Ana stammers, "W..what did he do?"

Christian shakes his head a little at the memory and reveals, "The bastard smiled at me. I think he was genuinely amused. And then he said that, if I ever changed my mind, he would gladly hear my confession, but asked that I give him some warning so that he might set aside an entire afternoon."

Now riveted, Ana asks, "What did you say to that?"

"Vowed that it would be a cold day in hell before I ever again set foot in his church."

Only now understanding the priest's parting words, Ana reveals, "He had a message for you; that it appears Hell has frozen over."

Christian's smile is warm, and he says, "Yes, he no doubt informed you that he'll officiate at our wedding. He's proven trustworthy and, more, has earned my respect. The bishop is keen, but I've never liked him; he cares more for appearances than atonements, and has far too much land for a man who supposedly serves his flock."

Ana teases, "Christian, the empire your father currently rules over must exceed a million square miles."

He shrugs and reveals, "It does, and half as much again. But Father feels he owns that land as much as Father Michael owns his church. We are custodians, and temporary ones at that."

Remembering one of his lessons, Ana nods and says, "To rule is to serve."

"Exactly. And you didn't answer me."

"Oh. He's well, and I like him."

Christian nods once, saying, "Good. And is your soul safe?"

Ana blushes a little at remembering the things she'd forced herself to confess, and reveals, "Apparently so. He's...he seems quite modern for a priest."

"Oh?"

Cursing the rising heat in her face, Ana explains, "He wasn't a bit shocked that I've been imagining what our wedding night might entail, or that we'd defied the rules to kiss on occasion."

"With that colour in your cheeks, I'd very much like to kiss you right now."

She smiles and says, "I'd very much like that too, but I don't have time to attend confession every day for the next three days."

Christian draws in a deep breath and says, "No, I suppose not." Despite their mutual resolution, he is staring at Ana's lips when he echoes, "Three days." And then they both hear the distant chime that means dinner is about to be served, so he stands and offers his arm, declaring, "Saved by the bell."

Ana stands, joking, "Or damned by it." And then she thinks to ask, "Did you meet his deacon...his assistant?"

Something in her tone has alerted Christian, and he demands, "Was he inappropriate?"

Still a little afraid of his temper—for others, not herself—Ana says, "No. No, he...one of the few times I saw Papa angry with a servant was when all the lamps in our home were smoky."

Christian nods and says, "Too much oil."

"Exactly. This man, he uses all the right words, but it's as if they ooze from his mouth. And...please, Christian, I need to know that I can trust your temper."

He considers for a few seconds, and then promises, "I have said that we'll rule as equals, and that starts now. If...probably when I'm considering a cause of action that I fear you couldn't abide, we'll discuss it." And then her Christian grins and concludes, "Until you agree with me." It's so much more than she was hoping for that Ana sways towards his embrace, but he stops her with firm hands on her arms to remind her, "The deacon?"

Focus.

Yes, thank you.

After a fortifying breath, Ana reveals, "Miss Obvious doesn't like him."

He blinks once, twice, and then asks, "Some part of you knows not to trust the man?"

"Basically, yes." Even now she worries, "It's lunacy?"

Christian shakes his head, insisting, "If it is, then every soldier who lives to retirement suffers from the same madness. We ignore that inner voice at our peril."

As usual, practically invisible, Taylor now interjects, "Amen."

Christian smiles and gestures to this confirmation, before asking Ana, "His name?"

"He said only 'Jack'. You won't do anything to him?"

"Not without cause. I'll see what I can quietly find out. Perhaps, as you say, he is merely more unctuous than necessary."

Glad that she mentioned it, Ana says, "Thank you."

Christian gazes at her a moment longer, and then says, "Well, I must eat and, if I can't have you, it had best be dinner."

When Ana giggles at this, he raises an eyebrow in question. With a nervous glance at Katya, whose attention appears consumed by packing away her embroidery, Ana whispers, "I thought you misspoke just now, but Miss Obvious advised that I ask Kate what it means when she arrives tomorrow."

Christian grins and confirms, "Good advice."