afterword
AFTERWORD
"Feels more like seven years," you say, Squall? Well, it sure was for me.
It's truly mind-boggling to realize it's taken me that long to finish this one single work. And to think, in the beginning I actually believed I could have the whole thing done in maybe a year and a half, provided I could just stick to releasing a chapter per week. The fact is, I had no idea what I was getting myself into back then. Just how long it would really take to do this story the justice it deserves. Just how many hours I would have to spend re-reading and re-working my writing, to the point where I can barely stomach to even look at it anymore. Just how many small, intertwining parts there actually were to this narrative, to speak nothing of those I would end up adding to the mix, all of which I would have to continually account for and juggle every step of the way. There were at least two points where I very nearly gave up altogether. The fact that Volume IV even saw the light of day at all is pretty much entirely owed to the support of one particular Reddit user (you know who you are). Now, after all this time, with a final word count to rival The Lord of the Rings in full, my job is at last finished. At the end of the day, I would say it's been worth it. And to those of you who've been along for the ride with me, for however long, you have my eternal gratitude.
My history with Final Fantasy and how I came to write this novelization is a bit of an odd one. My first proper introduction to the series came comparatively late I suppose (from when it all started, at least), in 2002 with the release of Kingdom Hearts. I bought the game purely because a lot of the kids in this clique I used to hang around with at school had gotten into it. I was of course plenty familiar with the Disney characters/worlds, but knew practically nothing about FF. I was instantly hooked however, and as I gradually worked my way through that game over the next year, I became intrigued to see more of those characters and their own stories. Particularly the ones I viewed as the most 'badass', namely Cloud and Squall. And so, one day in 2003, I went to the local games store and picked up copies of FF7 and FF8 together, took them home, popped them both in… and was almost immediately disappointed beyond belief.
You see, coming off of Kingdom Hearts, and having no other prior knowledge of the FF series to that point, I'd just assumed the games would feature the same kind of fast-paced, action-oriented combat system. I'd even hyped myself up for a good week or so prior, imagining myself controlling Cloud and Squall and making them pull off those same flashy moves they would in their respective boss fights. To be met with turn-based combat right out of the gate (and especially in the case of FF8 with that opening duel cinematic to kick things off) was a serious shock to the system. I momentarily wondered if I'd made a mistake buying these two games. Looking to make the best of things, I pressed on. And once I'd gotten over that initial hurdle, I eventually found myself warming to both titles. I even went out and bought FF10 shortly thereafter, and over the next few years I would basically hop back and forth between those 3 games, getting as far as I could in one until it became too tough, and then switching to another. Rinse and repeat. Through it all, I never really had a favorite. I liked them all about equally.
In the end, the one I finished first in the summer of 2005, quite fittingly it seems, was FF8. I can still vividly remember how chuffed I was to see Squall and Rinoa get their happy ending. And now, 20 years later (my god, does time fly), it really does feel as though my journey with this particular game has come full circle, as if I was somehow destined to one day put this story to paper (or webpage, rather). But then, maybe destiny has nothing to do with it. Maybe it was purely my own passion and tenacity which led me to this point. Or maybe it's even a little bit of both at work. Just as Squall and Rinoa come to realize at the end of this novelization, there's no telling what forces truly shape the future. All we can do is our best to live in the moment, and give it our all to make our lives the best they can be.
Anyway, I was always an avid reader in my youth. Everywhere I went, I'd always have a book or two on hand should I get bored for whatever reason and need something to pass the time (ah, the days before smartphones). I can't tell you exactly when or where the idea of transcribing a Final Fantasy game into written form first hit me, but it was definitely something I'd envisioned in my mind's eye from early on. Although I'd come to accept and eventually enjoy the style of gameplay as I went along, it always seemed more like a means to an end for me. The stories were what kept me invested, and I figured I would have liked them just as much if not more had they been made as books instead.
I had no idea what fanfiction even was back then, nor that there were dedicated online communities for such a thing. I didn't even know of FFNet's existence until about 2012 (and if you think that's crazy, I only learned about AO3 in 2021). By pure chance, I happened to stumble across a fan novelization for FF7. This particular work was so well composed, so incredibly detail-oriented, and even went so far as to incorporate plot points and references pertaining to the later compilation titles, in an effort to tie everything together in one neat package. I read all that had been written to that point in about 2-3 days. By the time I was finished, I was summarily blown away. It was like reading my ideal remake of the game, years before such a thing would even be teased at by Square Enix themselves. It could have easily passed for an officially licensed adaptation as far as I was concerned. In reality though, it was merely the long-term passion project of some random Scottish dude.
The man whose work I speak of is M. J. Gallagher, or Mo, as I've come to know him since. Although he would eventually end up abandoning his novelization to pursue more worthwhile, paid endeavors (and likely also to avoid being redundant, what with the FF7 remake coming to fruition), it still stands as an incredible achievement, and well worth a read for any serious fan (as are his more recent books examining the various mythological tales which inspired certain facets of the series; definitely check those out if that's something you might be interested in learning more about). I made no secret of my admiration for his work, and followed his activities closely as the months ticked onward. I guess he took notice, because he soon reached out to me and asked if I'd like to assist him with editing/proofreading. I was only too happy to accept. And so, over the next couple of years I would routinely look over his work alongside a few others, and even offer some suggestions here and there. It was quite the education to be sure, and it's fair to say my own novelization wouldn't exist at all if not for him. I really can't thank him enough.
In fact, it was around this period in early 2013 that I made my first attempt at writing this work. I figured since Mo had such a lock on FF7, I'd take a shot at another entry just as near and dear to my heart, FF8. As I've already alluded to in my foreword however, I simply wasn't well enough equipped as a writer back then to do a project like this the same justice he could. It didn't help either that I'd done minimal outlining ahead of time. It really was just a spur of the moment decision by some hopeless wannabe, trying and failing to imitate his idol. I scrapped the idea within a few months' time, and was content to just support Mo's writing efforts however I could.
Then, around the start of 2018, on the cusp of a major period of change in both my personal and professional life, I suddenly got that itch to play through FF8 again. And as I did so, the prospect of novelizing it came roaring back just the same. The further I progressed, the more appealing the thought became. I started brainstorming, then outlining, and before long, it was practically all I could think about. I had become well and truly obsessed. It's still a bit surreal to think back on that experience even now. So many of the critical pieces just seemed to click into place in my mind over the course of a few days, so many of the alterations I would have to make to tell this story in the best way I knew how, in a way only I could accomplish. And despite how many creative liberties I was already setting myself up to take, I somehow intuitively knew: this is going to work.
I am far from the first person to ever attempt a full novelization of FF8. As far as I'm aware however, I'm only the 4th to ever finish. Major props to Peptuck, Emerald Princess of Vernea, and Sombra for all paving the way. So, what exactly did I have to gain by throwing my own hat in the ring? Well, apart from the years worth of writing and storytelling experience I've accumulated in the end, I would say I wanted to make a definitive statement in the fandom, to craft a new benchmark by which all other adaptations of its kind (not even just strictly for FF8) are measured. My goal wasn't to write the most 'accurate' retelling of the game (based on what bits I've read of the other 3, that's probably Vernea's). Rather, I wanted to write the 'best' version, by whatever means that might entail, while still adhering to the game's core themes/message and including as much source material as I feasibly could to maintain faithfulness.
Bear in mind, 'faithful' and 'accurate' are two different things. And to illustrate what I mean by that, I'd like to break down some of the changes I made throughout this novelization, and my rationale behind them.
As it turns out, most of the major alterations to the story (probably 80% or so) are all the result of one single change I made from the start. It's actually the very first thing I wrote down in my outline notes all those years ago: 'What is a GF?' Really, for something that's such a key component in explaining one of the game's biggest plot twists, it's baffling how little concrete information we have about them to work with. Where did they come from? How are they formed? What is the source of their magic? Where does said magic stand in relation to the kind used by the sorceresses? And what do the answers to all these things mean for the history of the world/universe? Things only get worse from there when you try to consider what the process of 'junctioning' even entails. How do SeeDs physically equip GFs at all? And given how powerful they are, why is Balamb Garden the only institution on the planet training their troops to use them? The game tries to imply that last one is because of the memory loss side effects, but am I really supposed to believe a tyrannical nation like Galbadia cares that much about the mental well-being of its soldiers?
I needed a solution to patch up all these holes right away. Canon sources state that Dr. Odine discovered para-magic and the means of harnessing it through studying the power of a sorceress (allegedly Edea, which if true raises even more questions). With that as a starting point, I decided to put a fresh new twist on it: to have GFs themselves be derived from his ongoing research of Adel's power, infused with freshly discovered monster specimens collected from the moon. While it might seem on the surface like this change would just make the story more convoluted, I maintain it actually helped to simplify things in the long run. I no longer had any need to incorporate GFs into the history of the world, or figure out a reason for their magic's origin and coexistence along with Hyne's/the sorceresses'. Explaining any of that sufficiently and tying it into the story probably would have necessitated a fifth volume on its own.
Fundamentally speaking, it's still a case of Odine devising a science-based magic alternative from studying a sorceress, so the core idea is still preserved. Plus, taking this approach gives a legitimate reason for Esthar to shoot Adel into space at all. As the game stands, couldn't they have just sunk her to the bottom of the ocean along with the Lunatic Pandora? Seems like that would take a lot less effort, be just about as effective, and wouldn't cause global radio interference in the process. And so this way, at least for Odine's purposes, the promise of so many new test subjects for Adel's energy outweighs any concerns he might have for the world's communications technology. As for the manner in which GFs are mass produced, distributed, and wielded, I settled on a simple, compact design that's basically a cross between materia from FF7 and pokeballs. Throw in an exclusive contract with Balamb Garden, brokered by Norg courtesy of his old business ties, and that about wraps up everything.
Well, almost everything. There was still Selphie's prior GF experience to account for. The game's explanation of how she found one in a monster when she was 12, besides not fitting with the approach I'd decided to take, is just a lazy cop out with no further bearing on the story. It was clear I'd have to come up with some other explanation to facilitate her memory loss. I originally considered having her get her GF from a pen pal at Balamb, who she'd been in correspondence with as part of her transfer studies program at Trabia. However, I quickly realized that would essentially be a cop out as well. This wasn't something I could afford to hand wave away with a few throwaway lines and expect it to be believable. Something of this importance to the plot needed to be established early on, and built up over the course of the story. Better still if I could find a way to at least tangentially tie it into a portion of the game that already exists.
Eventually, my mind turned to the Deep Sea Research Center. Though ostensibly a bonus dungeon, there is a small amount of in-game lore surrounding it which I could potentially make use of, particularly the fact that the researchers were apparently using GFs in their experiments. It all started snowballing from there. Despite that plot line being entirely of my own making, I still did my best to work in as many nuggets from the game as I could, like Bahamut and Eden (plus Tiamat's connection, being a reskin of Bahamut and how you can potentially draw Eden from him), the journey to the depths of the research center, a mysterious power source hidden at the bottom of the ocean, building upon the fact that Eden has a woman's silhouette in the oval at the end of its tendril, etc. What really sold me on this idea though was how it fit so perfectly into the part of the story where Squall and Co. are searching for the White SeeD ship. They're already down along the Centran coast, and it's not like there's much else happening at that point in the story, anyway.
And yet still, adding that sub-plot raised even more questions in need of answers. How did that sorceress end up at the bottom of the ocean in the first place? To this, I invented a backstory drawing upon Odin and Gilgamesh in keeping with how they are depicted in the game, and tied it into a cohesive through-line wrapped around Squall's memory of meeting his older self as a child. In doing so, I also managed to come up with a believable, logically sound explanation for how Squall is able to return from where he was deposited 13 years in the past, and pass off the void he ends up wandering through as the Interdimensional Rift. And as for the question of where that sunken sorceress' power goes once she's been exorcised, well, it was a convenient enough opportunity to finally have Quistis use some of her blue magic limit breaks.
Every deviation I just laid out over the last several paragraphs (among many more) was the result of that one single change regarding GFs. And as you can see, despite the sheer amount of them, I always did my best to tie each one back to some facet or another present in the original game. 'Canon Complimentary' is how I've seen one person refer to it. And this is precisely why I'd argue that while my novelization may not be the most accurate adaptation of the source material out there, it is indeed a very faithful one. I wasn't just flying by the seat of my pants whenever I made changes.
Plenty of consideration went into virtually every aspect of this novelization, even down to deciding which characters got which GFs. I took into account personalities, in-game compatibility values, and more. Probably my favorite example is Leviathan, which starts off in Norg's possession just like how you can draw it from him in the game, and then gets passed on to Rinoa. So, why specifically would that GF suit her, you might ask? Well, besides her having the highest natural compatibility with it (excluding Edea), in the 1998 demo, where the battle system is a bit more stripped down compared to the final version, she's the only party member capable of summoning. And guess which GF she just happens to come equipped with? Funny how that works out.
Another thing I had fun with was plotting out the dates. Eagle-eyed fans might have noticed that the story proper begins on Thursday, February 11th, the exact date the game was originally released in Japan in 1999. This itself is a deviation from what the classroom control panel states in-game, that the field exam is supposed to take place around the beginning of the school term in spring (for those who don't know, the Japanese school year starts in April and goes more or less year round). But aside from the meta significance of the 2/11 date, I thought it felt more fitting for it to occur just prior to the March graduation season. This way I could also peg the Garden Festival set for the following month as an annual end-of-term celebration. And for those keeping track, with the inauguration ball set three nights following the field exam, this means that Squall and Rinoa meet for the first time on Valentine's Day. There's also her birthday landing in the midst of their weeks-long GF training, as pointed out in the text, but seeing as March 14th also falls within that timeframe, you could even argue the training doubles as Squall's White Day gift to her in return for the dance (look it up if you're not familiar).
At the end of the day though, a lot of these references and such I went to great lengths to add are admittedly superficial. None of it would really make a difference if I failed to keep true to the essence and core themes of the original work along the way. There are several prominent ones woven into the narrative, but for my money the linchpin, the game's ultimate thesis statement if you will, is what Rinoa tells Squall at Fisherman's Horizon: "There's no guarantee for the future. That's why today, the time we have right now, is important."
Squall has lived so much of his life bound by his past, traumatized by the loss of the only family he's ever known. This in turn leaves him blinded to the present moment, and by extension the people around him in the here and now. It's why he can't come up with anything when Seifer asks him about his dreams for the future during the field exam. How is he supposed to look ahead when he can hardly even focus on what's right in front of him? It's only with the support of Rinoa and the rest of his friends that he eventually comes to realize what he really has, and all he has to lose should he continue dwelling in the hurt he experienced long ago.
Ultimecia, on the other hand, is a representation of someone who refuses to make that course correction, a person who lives their entire life shackled by the past, to the point of sacrificing any hope at a better future for themselves. Her defeat at the hands of SeeD has been etched into the annals of history in her time. She's presumably lived her life in constant persecution for the power she's inherited, chained to a destiny she never wanted any part of. And yet, rather than embracing the present moment and taking whatever steps she can to better her current situation, refusing to become that same evil sorceress, she lets herself fall into that role. She allows the past to define her, in hopes she can alter the past itself and rewrite her story as she sees fit (none of this is explicitly stated in the game, but it is implied in Selphie's final diary entry as it appears in the FF8 Ultimania). And as a result of her inability to move on, she loses everything. In this sense, she is very much a symbol of what Squall could have become had he stayed on the path he was going down. I don't have a single doubt in my mind that this was what the authors of the game intended all along, as opposed to the infamous (and long since debunked) Rinoa = Ultimecia theory.
I lay all this out here because I inevitably know someone is going to ask: "How in the hell does that Deep Sea Research Center sub-plot you came up with have anything to do with staying true to the central themes of the story?" Well, let's break it down. Bahamut, devastated by the untimely loss of his wife, volunteers her remains for a project that might have a chance at bringing her back to life. It succeeds, but not without disastrous consequences both for himself and his friend, not to mention the rest of the researchers. He realizes too late the error of his ways, the horror he's inadvertently unleashed in the present, all because he was too blinded by his hope of undoing the past to see. And as a result of his inability to move on, he loses everything. Sound familiar? In the end however, he rediscovers the value of the present moment as he reunites with his adopted daughter. Together, they put his mistake to rights once and for all, and he is able to die content with the knowledge that her life will go on. So you see, even though on the surface it might seem like some glaring, tacked on plot line with little relation to the original work, dig a little deeper, and you might find it's more in line than you gave it credit for. Not to mention, considering Nojima and Kitase also co-wrote FF7, a game involving scientific research to produce monsters/superhuman beings through energy transfusion, and FF10, wherein the dad of one of the party members turning into a monster is basically the entire premise, I'd argue it's not too far removed from something they actually would have come up with.
And then, to take it one step further, note the scene where Laguna, Squall, and Ellone visit Raine's grave near the end. I purposely had Laguna insist that he has no business wasting his own life in the vain pursuit of bringing her back, whether through the power of time travel, hopping between dimensions, or what have you, as it would only be a disservice to her memory and what she would have wished for them all. What matters is the present, and how he intends to make the most of it with his son and daughter now that they have another chance together. This was intended as a deliberate contrast between the choices made by Squall and Selphie's fathers, and a commentary on the morality/ethical question therein. The dead, however dearly missed, should be respected and allowed to rest in peace. Their destiny, whether determined by fate or their own choices, is theirs alone. At least, that's the implication I was trying to convey without just spelling it out. I actually made a conscious effort to keep from explicitly saying anything about fate vs. free will for that specific scene. Otherwise, the whole thing would have gotten a little too close to ripping off the ending of Forrest Gump.
And then, there's Seifer. I will admit that out of everything, re-writing how his arc ends might be the closest I came to disregarding the writers' intentions. However, because I recognize the function and nature of his character, I think I managed to stay close enough to the message they were trying to convey through him, and even build further upon it. On the most fundamental level, Seifer was conceived as Squall's foil, his opposite number. This is reflected in everything from the differences in their wardrobe design/color schemes, to their hairstyles, to the fact they have facial scars which are exact mirror images of one another. In keeping with this, Seifer's character arc is likewise the mirror opposite of Squall's.
Whereas Squall is completely restrained by his past, Seifer only has eyes for the future. He's so single-mindedly obsessed with his romantic dream, to the point of neglecting everyone and everything else around him. He views them all through a strictly utilitarian lens. If something or someone is of no further use to him in his pursuit of that dream, they instantly become disposable. This is the driving force which compels him to act in such reckless and downright sociopathic ways, and ultimately to abandon everyone he'd ever held any attachment to, even his two best friends. In his own words, taken from the game (albeit removed from my novelization): "I guess you could call me a young revolutionary… I've always gotta be doing somethin' BIG! I don't wanna stop. I'm gonna keep running! I've come this far... I'm gonna make it to the end, to the goal!" No concern for the present, his focus is set entirely on what lies ahead. And so, in the game's ending cutscene, when he's shown smiling and laughing at Fujin and Raijin's antics, this is symbolic of him having come to terms with his lot in life. He's finally learning to be content with what he has, rather than endlessly pining over what he doesn't.
With that said, I have never liked how the game essentially lets him off the hook without any repercussions. It just feels thoroughly wrong to see him not face any consequences for all the horrible things he's been complicit in. I didn't originally plan to kill off Fujin and Raijin (nor even Xu, but that's a different story). I'd always imagined I would probably end things with Seifer imprisoned at Balamb, and the two of them coming to visit him every day. As the specifics of Volume IV started taking shape however, and I found myself searching for a believable way for Seifer to finally have that a-ha moment, it just seemed like the ideal turn of events to make him open his eyes at last. By killing Adel, he takes his first step on the road to redemption. Ultimately though, he has to come to terms with what he's done, and what it's cost him. Only at the end does he understand the real value of what Fujin and Raijin brought to his life, and just how far they were willing to go for him. It's a far more tragic ending for them all than the one depicted in the game, but I would argue it was necessary to really hammer home the gravity of Seifer's actions.
And so, he instead ends up back at the orphanage with Edea, to do his 'community service'. Ironically, by dedicating his life to serving alongside her there, he's effectively become her knight as he's always dreamed of, if perhaps in a different way than he could have imagined. Not for the sake of his own glory, but to make a genuine difference in her life and the lives of others. And it's here, after having come to understand how much he'd taken those closest to him for granted for so long, that he ultimately finds that same contentment from the original. He's prepared to do what he must to atone, not just for himself, but to honor the memory of his friends who gave everything for him, to serve his matron in her time of need, and to ensure the next generation of SeeD prospers.
To honor the past, live in the present, and strive for a better future, is fundamentally the same lesson Squall has come to learn over the course of the story. And so, in the end, these two are no longer foils, but parallels. Despite starting out on completely opposite ends of the spectrum, and taking two very different paths, they have arrived at the same point of understanding. And as one final note on this subject, you might recall I wrote that Seifer was essentially Cid and Edea's actual adopted son, and that they more or less had to stop treating him that way once the orphanage took off. Him having closer ties to them than the other orphans was always suggested in the game, from how Seifer is by far the most attached to Edea, to how Cid has his Triple Triad card. Therefore, by having the two of them end up back together at the end like this, it provides them another chance at that parent/child dynamic they hardly had the time to experience back then. Gee, I wonder if there's another freshly reunited parent/child duo that could serve as a parallel for.
I really could spend hours upon hours breaking down all the changes I made and the rationale behind them, but I think that ought to cover most of the major ones. Just know it was all done with clear intent, with plenty of deference paid to the canon material wherever possible. At the end of the day, it was all for the sake of presenting this story in a more logical, realistic manner. Or at least, as logical and realistic as a story this admittedly bat-shit crazy can be. And what a journey it's been. I started writing this in my mid 20s, and now here I sit in my early 30s, still amazed I've actually managed to see it through to the end. It was a struggle throughout to be sure, but one I took head on. And in so doing, I'd say I've developed an even greater appreciation for the game's many nuances and subtleties than when I started. And to prove it, the opening to my foreword originally read: "Final Fantasy VIII, while not my favorite entry in the long tenured video game series…" I have since removed that, because the fact is, there's no way I can't call it my favorite after all these years.
So, now for the big question: what's next? Well, I think it's safe to say I'm done with fanfiction. I've accomplished everything I wanted to with this novelization, and I don't have much of a desire to try my hand at any other kinds of fan works. There was a point where I considered writing a companion piece detailing Ultimecia's rise to power in the future, but I figure that's a story best left to the imagination. I also have no intention of novelizing FF5 purely to explain Gilgamesh's backstory. I intentionally kept any details pertaining to that vague, so as not to leave too many loose ends. This certainly doesn't mean I'm done with writing altogether, however. On the contrary, during my hiatus between Volumes III and IV, I happened to come up with an idea for a completely original fantasy series which I've been outlining on and off ever since. Now that I'm done here, maybe I'll be able to start making headway on fleshing that out. Right now though, I think I'm just going to kick back and start up a new playthrough of the game, to take a little victory lap, if you will.
To conclude, I want to thank each and every person who's read this labor of love, left a review, and/or shared it around. Your support made it all possible. I hope you enjoyed it, and that maybe it even gave you a whole new level of appreciation for this classic game. If I succeeded in doing that, even if only for a small handful of people, then all the effort was worth it.
Thanks again, and take care.