Chapter 14: Just For Now
Jess sat at the kitchen island, going over all the notes from the Clark case. She knew she hadn't done anything wrong when she arrested Dale for Emily's murder—but the complaints were enough to open an investigation.
She'd read them all. Dale claimed she had continued to interview him after he asked for a lawyer, that she must have planted the murder weapon and evidence, and that she never Mirandized him.
Her interview with Internal Affairs was in two days. She needed to have her ducks in a row. Lilly was asleep in her bed, and Don sat beside her at the island, quiet and steady.
"Lindsay and Mac processed the scene," Jess muttered, flipping through the folder. "It doesn't even make sense that I could plant evidence. Where would I get Dale's fingerprints? The fibers matched his hoodie. I didn't make up his record—he had an assault charge filed by Emily."
"Okay," Don said gently. "Breathe, Jess."
"I did the interview by myself," she said. "We talked after he asked for a lawyer, but I never questioned him about Emily. I didn't mention the case and the interview is recorded."
She stared down at her notes, her brow furrowed. She could explain every accusation—except one.
"I can't remember reading Dale his rights," she said quietly. "That was a rookie move, but I must have done it... right?"
She closed her eyes, trying to recall every detail.
"Danny broke down the door, I covered. Oliver and Zack were with us. They took Matt—Dale's friend—into custody. I cuffed Dale. Danny searched the hotel. I was the one who took Dale downstairs. I was on my own."
She turned to Don, her voice tight. "Don, I can't remember if I read him his rights."
"I hadn't slept in two days," Jess said, her voice low, strained. "Dale had slipped through our fingers before. I wanted him—bad. I saw how traumatized Lilly was…"
She sighed, her mind swirling, caught between memory and doubt.
"Jess, calm down," Don said gently. "Think."
"Danny broke down the door, I covered him. Oliver and Zack took Matt into custody. Danny searched the room and cleared it. I… I cuffed Dale. I took him into custody…"
Her voice trailed off as she tried to fill in the blank space in her memory.
"I can't say for sure," she whispered. "I must have."
"Yes," Don said firmly. "Jess, I've watched you work a lot of cases. You are annoyingly meticulous. Reading the suspect his rights? That's second nature to you. Come on—you wouldn't forget something that important. Look at the rest of the stuff he's claiming. All of it's false. This is too."
"But it's my word against his," Jess said, frustration tightening her throat. "No one else was around. Johnson and Rodriguez took Matt downstairs ahead of me, and Danny was still searching the room. I can't even say for sure"
"Okay, let's go over it again," Don said. "Maybe it'll come back to you."
"Alright." Jess took a breath. "We entered the hotel. Danny knocked down the door, I covered. Johnson and Rodriguez were with me. We cuffed Matt and Dale. Danny searched the room. Johnson and Rodriguez took Matt downstairs… I had Dale. Why can't I remember this?"
"You're going to tell IA you read him his rights," Don said, steady and sure. "Because I know you did. You always do. This isn't something you'd forget. And you are not going to throw your career away over this. Let's not forget about Lilly."
"Lie?" Jess said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Don didn't answer right away. He looked at her, really looked at her—the tired eyes, the tension in her jaw, the way she gripped the edge of her notebook like it was the only thing holding her together.
"No," he said finally. "You're not lying. You're telling the truth as you know it. You read him his rights—because that's what you do. You're exhausted, you were under pressure, and your memory's blurred. That doesn't mean it didn't happen."
Jess looked down at her notes, but the words blurred. The lines between memory and instinct felt thinner than ever. "I've never blanked like this."
"You didn't blank," Don said. "You buried it. Because you were already thinking about the next step. About protecting Lilly. About making sure Dale didn't hurt anyone else."
She sat back, shoulders slumped. "I just… I don't want to be that cop."
"You're not," Don said. "You're the one who finds the kids. You're the one who stays up at night making sure the paperwork's perfect. You did this right, Jess. You just have to trust yourself."
Jess stared at the kitchen wall, eyes unfocused. For a moment, silence filled the space between them. Then she nodded slowly.
"I'll say I read him his rights," she said. "Because I believe I did. I just wish I could remember."
Don reached across the counter, placing his hand over hers. "We'll get through this. You're not alone."
Down the hall, a soft creak came from Lilly's room, the quiet reminder of why Jess had to keep going. She glanced toward the hallway, then back at her notes.
"Okay," she said, more to herself than anyone. "Let's get ready."
Jess sat at the kitchen island, coffee in hand, reading through her notes for what felt like the hundredth time. Still, nothing jogged her memory. She had work—but she wasn't on active duty until after the IA investigation. That stung more than she wanted to admit.
Across from her, Lilly sat at the island too, legs swinging as she ate her breakfast. Jess had done her hair in braids that morning—just the way she liked it. She wore her new overalls and the purple shirt she'd picked out last week on their shopping trip.
"Can we go to the park later?" Lilly asked between bites.
Don walked in, still drying his hands from brushing his teeth. "Maybe tomorrow," he said gently. He knew Jess wouldn't want to do anything today but go over her notes again.
Lilly nodded, satisfied. "'Kay, bug," Jess said with a soft smile. "Go get your bookbag for daycare."
Lilly hopped down and padded out of the kitchen.
Don glanced at Jess. "Have you heard from Dana since this all started?"
"No," Jess said, eyes still on her notes. "I assume that's a good thing. As far as I know, we've got our regular check-in on Friday."
Don nodded, but the quiet between them felt heavier than usual.
"You gonna be okay at your desk today?" he asked.
"I'll be doing paperwork," Jess said, eyes still on her notes. "And reading these over again… hoping something I missed jumps out at me."
Don walked over and kissed the top of her head.
"I loved you today, I loved you yesterday, and I'll love you tomorrow."
Jess smiled—those were the same words he'd used the night he proposed.
"I believe in you," he added, gently. "You've got this."
"I love you too," Jess said, her voice soft. "Thank you for your support."
"Always," Don said, leaning down to kiss her lightly on the lips.
Just then, a knock came at the door.
"I'll get it," Don said as Jess started packing up her notes.
He opened the door—and his heart dropped. Dana stood there, flanked by Officers Johnson and Rodriguez. Her expression said it all.
"I'm really sorry, Don," Dana said quietly.
His stomach twisted. This couldn't be good. He stepped aside and let them in.
Jess emerged from the kitchen, immediately freezing at the sight of them.
Dana looked at her with genuine regret in her eyes. "Judge Larkin has decided… with the accusations currently under investigation, it would be best to have Lilly removed from your care."
The words hit like a punch to the chest. Jess's world tilted.
"No," she whispered, her voice breaking. "You can't do this."
"I am genuinely sorry," Dana said, her voice low. "I've been doing this a long time, and… this is a hard one."
Jess and Don could see it—the regret in her eyes was real. It was mirrored in Johnson and Rodriguez's expressions too. They weren't just colleagues—they were people who had shared shifts, cases, late-night coffee in squad rooms. Now they were here for something no one wanted to do.
It was just protocol. They didn't need to be there, but they were anyway—witnesses, backup, a formality that felt anything but formal.
"So sorry, detectives," Johnson said quietly.
"You're just doing your job," Don replied, his voice tight. He meant it. But that didn't make it any easier.
From down the hall came the sound of little footsteps.
Lilly appeared, her bookbag slung over her shoulder, clutching Cupcake.
She looked from Dana to the two officers, her smile fading. "What's wrong?"
Jess crouched, her voice gentle, trying not to let it crack. "Hey, bug… there's been a little change, okay? You're gonna go with Dana for a bit."
Lilly's face twisted in confusion. "Why? Was I bad?"
"No, sweetie," Jess said, brushing a braid behind her ear. "You've been perfect. This isn't your fault. It's just… something the grown-ups have to figure out."
Don knelt beside them, his hand resting lightly on Lilly's back. "It's just for now," he said softly. "Just until things settle down."
Lilly looked at Jess, her eyes wide and scared. "Will I come back?"
Jess's heart broke. She hugged her tight, holding her longer than she should have, memorizing the way her small arms wrapped around her neck. "I promise you—we will do everything we can to get you back."
Lilly nodded slowly, bravely, even as tears welled in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around Jess and Don as tight as her little body could. "Please, please don't let her take me."
Jess swallowed back her emotions, trying to stay strong for Lilly, but her heart felt torn in two. "It's just for now," she whispered.
"Can you be brave for me?" Don whispered in her ear. "And remember these words—we love you today, we loved you yesterday, and we will love you tomorrow."
"Always," Jess added, her voice thick.
Slowly, they pulled apart. Lilly nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I'll get her things," Jess said, unsure how her legs were moving.
Lilly took Dana's hand as Jess passed over a small bag of clothes. Don handed her Spike—his cherished childhood dinosaur. Lilly had found it during a visit to his grandma's house, and Spike and Cupcake had quickly become best friends.
Johnson took the bag. Dana carried the little girl out of the house.
Jess didn't move.
Don stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her.
And for the first time in a long time, Jess let herself cry.