Author Note: The Disney Television Animation characters are in their characters self instead of their Chib-self.
(The story start with Dipper having an announcement with Star, Luz, Marcy, Anne, Cricket, and Phineas. They are standing in the studio's carpark)
Dipper: Okay, everyone. Unfortunately, the government just passed a new law. Starting today all studios employees must pass an annual fitness test in order to keep their job. (The disney channel members groan.) I know. I know. I don't want to be here any more than you do. So let's get this over with so we can get back to work.(Disney channel members murmur. A montage is shown of Dipper writing and ticking off the check list on his clipboard as the Disney channel members take their annual fitness test. We see the checklist Dipper is ticking off. Dipper and the Disney channel members are up to the last part of the fitness test, in front of a pull up bar) All right, gangs. Last part of the fitness test. Just do one pull-up, and we can get out of here.
(Marcy does his pull up with ease)
Luz: Man, this test was so easy.
Star: I know, right? What a waste of time.
Luz: Do you wanna go play some video games after this?
Star: Ye-e-ah, I do!
Dipper: Star. Luz. Quit talking and get on the bar.
Star: See you on the other side. (She walks away and goes does her pull up with ease)Boom!
(Disney channel members cheer for Star except for Luz)
Luz: (walks up to the pull up bar) Time to show all you chumps how to do a pull-up like a real girl.
(Luz jumps up and gets a hold of the bar, but struggles to even pull herself up. The disney channel members are looking up at Luz)
Cricket: Whomp-whomp. Wh-whomp... Who-o-mp.
Luz: Shut up!
Star: Come on, Luz. Quit messing around and just do the pull-up.
Luz: I'm... trying!
(Luz tries to pull herself up and swings in frustration that she loses grip of the bar and falls to the ground. Cricket laughs)
Cricket: Oh, man! You can't even do one pull-up? (points at Luz)
Luz: Yes, I can! (slaps Cricket away) It was only because you distracted me with that stupid noise!
Cricket: Oh, so it was the noise's fault that you can't do a pull-up. Is that it?
Luz: Yes! Yes! (pushes Cricket away) It was that stupid noise!
Cricket: Fine. Then go again.
Luz: Don't make that noise again!
Cricket: I won't. I promise.
(Luz jumps up.)
Cricket: Whomp-whomp! Wh-who-o-mp!
(Luz screams and falls down [and doesn't even touch the bar]. Cricket laughs)
Dipper: Cool it, Cricket. Let's go, Luz. Just do the pull-up.
(Luz sighs and jumps up to the bar and struggles to pull up. The disney channel members are surprised at Luz and Star looks unimpressed.)
Marcy: Oh, how embarrassing!
Star: Luz, come on!
(Luz struggles and whines that she can't do a pull-up. Luz has a sad face and drops down from the bar. Cricket laughs at Luz)
Cricket: (laughs) Oh, man! She can't even do one pull-up!
Dipper: I'm sorry, Luz, but I can't give you a passing grade on the test. If you can't do a pull-up by the end of the week, I'm gonna have to fire you.
(All the Disney channel members walk away except for Luz)
Luz: But... Whatever, I was just tired! I'll be able to do a pull-up. You'll see.
(The scene cuts to changes to the magic kingdom and a view of the cover of a video game called Gym Class is shown)
Luz: Time to warm up with some Gym Class! "Because you know it's better than the real thing."
(Luz is playing the Pull Up level and is button mashing the controller with ease. The character of Gym Class is doing rapid pull ups. Star walks up to Luz)
Star: Luz, what are you doing?
Luz: What does it look like? I'm training to do a pull-up.
Star: Luz, that's not doing anything!
Luz: If it's not doing anything, then how come I'm already breaking a sweat?
Star: Um, I don't know. Maybe because you're really out of shape?
Luz: Does this look like I'm out of shape? (Luz presses the buttons faster and the power meter goes up rapidly. Luz beats the Pull Up level and goes 'Wooooo!'. The 'Carbo-Load' in the game increases by a lot. Luz quickly grabs a packet of chips near her and stuffs her mouth with them) Carbo-loading!
Star: (Star snatches the packet off Luz)Luz! You got to take this seriously!
Luz: Oh, I got to take it seriously? Is this serious enough for you? (pulls out her walkie talkie and presses the talk button) Dipper, I'm ready to do my pull-up now.
(Scene changes to all the Disney channel members at the pull-up bar)
Dipper: All right. Let's get this over with.
Luz: Here's how we do it in Gym Class, losers.
(Luz jumps up to the bar. Luz's arms are shaking)
Dipper: Well?
Luz: I'm trying!
(Dipper, Anne and Marcy laugh at Luz, who is struggling on the pull up bar)
Star: Come on, Luz. Just get it over with.
(Luz struggles and drops down in front of Dipper, sighing)
Dipper: (stern voice) You have until Friday. (walks away)
(Scene changes to Luz at Starbucks by herself with a cup of coffee. Amity walks up to her with a coffee jug)
Amity: Hey, Luz. Is anything wrong?
Luz: (takes a quick sip of coffee, speaking in an aggressive tone) No, I'm fine.
Amity: Are you upset 'cause you can't do a pull-up and you might get fired?
Luz: What?! Who told you that?
Amity: Cricket was in here earlier. He was selling tickets to watch you fail.
(A tear off poster is seen with Luz on it, naming him 'The Weakest Girl in the World', and has been torn off twice Nelson point at Luz)
Nelson: Ha-ha you don't know how to do a pull up. (Nelson and his bully friends laugh and walk out of Starbucks)
Luz: (groans) Maybe he's right. I can't believe I'm gonna lose my job over a stupid pull-up.
Amity: You know, maybe I can help you. I was on the pep squad in high school.
Luz: (scoffs) Thanks, Amity, but I'm gonna need a lot more than pep to do a pull-up.
(Amity pulls a shop stool and jumps off that, then off the table and grabs ahold of a pipe and does a few pull ups with ease and jumps off back onto the floor. She then pours more coffee into Luz's cup with the coffee jug. Luz looks at her in shock)
Amity: Training starts after my shift. (walks away with the coffee jug)
(Scene changes to night at Starbucks, and Amity changes the sign from 'Open' to 'Closed'. She walks up to Luz who is standing on a stool in the passageway, with a bar in between the entrance)
Amity: All right! Give it a try!
(Luz jumps up to the bar but struggles)
Luz: (straining)Ugh, this is too hard.
Amity: I think I see the problem. You're not visualizing your own success.
Luz: Huh?
Amity: You need to see it. Close your eyes.
(Luz closes her eyes)
Amity: Now visualize yourself doing a pull-up.
(Luz opens her eyes)
Luz: I can't.
Amity: Come on, you're not trying! Close your eyes and really concentrate. What do you see?
(Luz closes her eyes and opens them)
Luz: A grilled cheese sandwich.
Amity: Okay, okay. Picture that sandwich. Now picture your goal - doing that one pull up.
(Luz closes her eyes)
Amity: Can you see it?
(We see Luz's visualization. A grilled cheese sandwich is rolling across the scene. The character of Gym Class scrolls across. Cricket's head scrolls making the stupid noise and Luz's fist punches Cricket's head. The head says 'Not cool Luz'. Amity saying 'One pull up. Can you see it?' is echoing. Luz's arm waves around and turns into a pull up bar. Luz is pulling herself up, and zooms out to the real life)
Luz: Look! I'm almost - (drops down) Man, I almost had it!
Amity: (nods) We'll get there.
(Amity and Luz are dressed in their gym clothes, and a montage is shown of them training for the pull up. Luz is now hanging onto the bar and Amity is in front of her)
Amity: Come on, Luz. We're almost out of time! You can do this!
Luz: I can do this!
Amity: (chanting) One pull-up! One pull-up!
Luz: One pull-UP! (struggles and drops down. Luz takes off her beanie and throws it down on the ground) This is hopeless! I'm never gonna be able to do this!
(Luz runs out of Starbucks and Amity runs after her)
Amity: Luz! Luz, wait! (stands at the coffee shop entrance) I know you can do it.
(Cut to Luz without her gym clothes walking in town)
Luz: This is so lame! Lame government fitness test! Lame arms! Why's it got to be so hard?!
(Luz stops at a shop with its light on and the TV at the wall. The TV is showing an advertisement)
Man on Advertisement: (Russian accent) Feeling weak? Looking pathetic? If you're watching television, you probably are! Luckily, this TV commercial can save you! If you want muscle fast, but hate working out, then you need The Russian!
Luz: Yeah, I do.
Man: The Russian uses electrotherapy to shock your muscles into growing. There's no effort from you. Just switch it on and you'll be stronger in no time
(Men on TV are using The Russian and suddenly have muscles)
Man: Thank you, The Russian! (karate chops chair with ease)
Luz: Ahh yeah! That's exactly what I need. (The scene then cuts to the magic kingdom at night and Luz puts the box of The Russian on the living room table. Luz takes off the lid of The Russian. She takes the instructions from the box.) Do not operate The Russian for more than ten minutes a day. Pfft. (throws instructions out). Well, I wanna get extra bulk! So I'll need it on for eleven. (Luz puts The Russian pads on her body and flips the switch and turns on the knob to 11. The machine buzzes) Those jerks better buy their tickets for the gun show tomorrow! (Luz jumps on the couch, turns on the TV and grabs the packet of chips and starts eating them.) Thanks, The Russian! (falls asleep)
(The scene changes to day where the Disney channel members and Amity at the pull up bar, except for Luz. Dipper looks at his watch)
Dipper: Where the heck is Luz? We're almost out of time!
Marcy: Maybe her nerves got the better of her.
Star: No, she'll be here.
Cricket: She better. 'Cause I got a lot of people here who paid good money to watch her try. (Zooms out and an audience is behind Cricket and Phineas ) Let me remind you - there are no refunds in the event of a no-show.
(Crowd mutters)
Amity: This is weird. Luz trained really hard for this. She wouldn't just blow it off. I'll go check on her (runs off to the magic kingdom and opens the door) Luz? Oh, there you are. (walks in) You got to – (Amity screams. Luz is seen with huge muscles and she gasps)
Luz: It worked!
Amity: What did you do?!
Luz: I used The Russian to get totally ripped! This is awesome! Now to go bust out my pull-up!
(Luz gets off the sofa and breaks the sofa and floor)
Luz: Huh? (tries to get down and breaks the table, The Russian and more of the floor) My muscles are too heavy! I can't stand up!
Amity: Oh, Luz, there are no shortcuts to physical fitness.
Luz: Oh, no, I'm gonna lose my job! (struggles to get up and drops down) No, no, no, no! (slaps the ground and breaks more. Luz sighs)
Amity: Come on, you can still make it.
(Amity tries to pull Luz)
Luz: Aw, it's hopeless!
Amity: No, it's not! There's still time! Do what I say! Close your eyes!
(Luz closes her eyes)
Luz: Now picture that pull-up bar! Do you see it?
(We see Luz's visualization. The mist clears out and the pull-up bar at the studios is seen)
Luz: I see it! I see the pull-up bar!
Amity: Then go do it!
(Luz screams and uses her arms to get out of the magic kingdom)
Amity: You're doing it! Just use your arms! Keep going! That's it!
(Luz gets out of the magic kingdom and Amity runs after her)
Dipper: (holding the stopwatch) Pfft, she's late!
(Dipper puts down his stopwatch and reveals Luz and Amity running to the pull-up bar)
Dipper: What is that?
(The rest of the Disney channel members talk amongst themselves)
Star: It's Luz!
(Luz uses her arms to get to the pull-up bar and screams)
Dipper: You've only got 30 seconds left!
(The crowd cheers for Luz, who climbs up the pull-up bar sides, and the ground starts cracking. Luz gets to the pull up bar.)
Luz: Yes!
(But before she can do a pull up, Luz sinks further into the ground and the ground cracks more. The pull-up bar is still on the surface and a huge hole is made. Amity looks down the hole and calls for Luz. Luz is at the bottom of the hole and is groaning.)
Amity: Luz, you have 15 seconds to get up here and do a pull-up!
Luz: 15 seconds?!
(Luz punches the sides of the hole and discovers she can use it to get back to the surface. Luz finally does her pull-up)
Dipper: (stops stopwatch) Time!
(The stopwatch is revealed to have one second left and the crowd cheers)
Dipper: You did it, Luz! You can stay at the Disney channel studios!
(Luz is being taken into the ambulance on a stretcher. Amity runs up to Luz)
Amity: Luz! You were wonderful!
Luz: Thanks, Amity. I couldn't have done it without you. I'd hug you, but I should probably wait till these muscles go away. I don't want to break your spine.
Amity: I'll take my chances. (Luz hugs Amity and her spine breaks whilst she tears up)Totally worth it.
(The End)