This is madness... Complete madness... Four armies heading towards us?... And at the same time?... This could ruin my plans.

"Hehe... He... Hehehehe... Hehe...".

"Megumin, I know you want to blow up stuff, but calm down.". Although Darkness was panicking, she always found a way to worry about the rest of the party. "Let me rush there first, I'll keep them busy for ten minutes". I take it back. "No... More like one or two hours". This depraved never stops.

"Kazuuuuuummmmaaaaaaaa". Aqua was still shaking me. "What do we dooooooooo?".

"Calm down". I grabbed her hands. "I have a plan". Not really, but I make one, somehow. "So don-".

"REALLY?". Aqua and I turned towards Darkness' father, whose rare exclamation surprised me and probably the others too. "Phew, I 'm glad. Then I'll leave it up to you my lord...". Wait, I'll need some help, lots of help. "In your great and very capable hands...". Wait. "I'll go right away to tell all the nobles not to worry about this situation...". Hold on. "Plus that means we don't need to tell anything to the citizens, they shouldn't worry about it either...". Wait. "With your permission, I'll leave right away". Then he left... SHIT!

"You're incredible, big brother!". Now there is no going back... Think... THINK!... At least I have to make sure my party doesn't leave me to deal with those armies alone.

"Indeed Iris...". Her eyes were full of admiration. "My party and I will be able to deal with the situation". Damn it, actually I just confirmed that we won't be getting anyone's help.

"You always find ways to surprise me, Kazuma". Darkness seemed relaxed. Wait, all of them are. Do they really think the four of us can take on four armies?. "So what do we do? What's the plan?"

"I'll tell you in time and place". I got no ideas right now... ZERO!. "For now, let's continue with exploration of the festival preparations".

By the end of the day, Darkness' father told us the estimated path that the four armies where taking and the timeline of their arrival... It was the same timeline, so we need to stop them as soon as possible.

"That's all the information our scouts were able to get".

"T-t-thank you".

"My lord, I'm certain that you'll be able to handle this". Why the hell everyone trusts me so much. Hey, don't look at me like that. Damn it, I have to think of something.

"Understood, then we'll rest and start tomorrow". Everyone's eyes lit up. I should be able to think of something by tomorrow.

"Nope, it is morning and I got nothing...". So I left my room and when to grab something for breakfast.

"Good morning, Kazuma". Huh?. "Let go". All three of them were ready to go. What the hell?. "We need to put your plans in motion as soon as possible. Every second that passes, the armies get closer". Then it is time to improvise.

"Relax, I'll have some breakfast and then...". Darkness grabbed me from the back, squeezing me with all her might. "What are you doing?". I mean, it felt nice. Wait, what are they up to? Megumin and Aqua took out a few plates of food, and shoved them in my face.

"No time to lose, now you're full, so let's go".

The closest army was the one from the empires. So, we reached the top of a hill, one of the very few in the area. Mmmmh, this location reminds me of something.

In front of us was the gigantic army, around 50,000 soldiers, as estimated by the scouts under Darkness' father... Is that... Is that the king and the queen in the formation?

"Wow... Ahhh... Can't hold it... Much... Longer". We can see that, Megumin.

"So, first, Megumin nukes them, then I'll tell you what to do next, everyone ready?". Let's improvise.

"Yes". Aqua and Darkness nodded.

"Megumin, are you ready?"

"Yes... Ahhhh... So ready... Ahhh... I want to do it... Ahhh... NOW". She was caressing her staff while sounding completely delirious.

"Go for it". I nodded towards Megumin, who immediately started chanting her spell.

"Behold...". Here we go, I can see spell forming above the centre of the army. "The most glorious and most powerful spell in existence...". Always so dramatic. "The spell that can flatten armies and mountains...". Indeed, time for the launch. "The strongest spell among all of the known spells...". Yeah yeah, launch it already. "The greatest power known to humanity...". What the hell is she doing!. "The only things that even Gods fear...". Wait... The army is... "EXPLOSION".

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Everything trembled for 30 seconds. Anyone standing crumbled to the ground.

"So Kazuma, how many points do yo give to my explosion? I think it was amazing, not the greatest, but amazing". I sat up, looked at the location hit by the spell.

"Minus one million points". Damn it, this isn't good.

"What are you even talking about Kazuma?".

"Minus... One... Million... Freaking... Points!... By the time you finished showing off the stupid length of your spell, they moved their units away from the location of the hit". Damn it, the plan failed.

Crack. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Crack.

"Emmmh, Kazuma, what is that sound?". No wonder this area seemed familiar.

"That's the sound of a previous mistake... But now...".

"Defend!"

It was a massacre... The massacre of all morals... The massacre of all dignity... We could only stand and watch, as the giant frogs, that Aqua had infused with demonic power, were attacking the army. They didn't seem to want to kill the soldiers. Instead, they toyed with them. They grabbed the soldier into their mouths only to spit them out. They used their long tongues to harass the soldiers in the nastiest way possible. The entire army got quickly overwhelmed, against a viciously nasty enemy. And now the soldiers were covered in slime.

"K-k-kazuma... Can I join them?". This knight of ours.

"The hell you can". I looked back at the army, it was completely defeated and fully at the mercy of the giant frogs. "Darkness, actually, lure the giants frogs away and hold them for a little while so that I can-". Darkness rushed away without even letting me finish

"LUUUUUREEEEEE". All the frogs and the entire army looked in her direction, but only the frogs were capable of fulfilling their sudden desire to attack Darkness.

BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM.

The frogs rushed towards Darkness and the ground shook. Meanwhile, we approached the army and moved towards were the king and queen were.

"Nggghhhhh". The soldiers simply hadn't the physical or mental strength to attack us as we were passing by. Seems that the lure effect passed away due to their inability to fulfill it, interesting.

"There you are". The king and queen, still laying on the ground like all the soldiers, looked up. They were horrified. "So... How about you tell me the reason of your attack".

"You m-m-monster... You dem-m-mon... You took our daughter, the princess, and now you'll have a festival in which you plan to toy with her, humiliate her and do depraved things to her... You monster". Looks like the news on the festival have caused some confusion. "T-t-to think that our army... Would be beaten... So easily." Yeah, I was surprised to. "Give us back our daughter!". Maybe I should explain to them that Iris is fine and that this was all a misunderstanding. "You degenerate demon lord". I understand that they are desperate, but aren't they forgetting the situation they are in? "You depraved pervert". Enough.

BAM. My foot landed right next to the king's head, which made them both go quiet immediately.

"I think you're forgetting the situation you're in. Maybe I should bring back the frogs and let them finish you off". The king and queen lost all hope.

"Don't... I'll protect you... Even if it is the last thing I do". We turned around and saw Mitsurugui, barely standing up. So I approached Aqua and whispered to her.

"Aqua, your biggest fan, Kuzukagi, has arrived, blow him away." She turned towards him, made a cute pose, crushed a small piece of paper in her hands and sent him a flying kiss, releasing the paper which had turned into a beautiful small bird... What the hell is she doing?... Then, when the paper bird arrived in front of Mitsurugi, it quickly transformed into something horrifying, only to instantly disappear. His eyes went white and he collapsed.

PFFFF.

"An amazing new party trick I learned, awesome, no?". I put my hand on Aqua's shoulder.

"Simply.. PFFF... Simply beautiful... Thank you Aqua". So I turned to the king.

"Now then, where were we?". With their last hope squashed, reality hit them.

"P-p-please... Mercy!". Hmmm, did I go to far? I looked at Aqua, which was now carrying Megumin on her back, and both looked at me as if I was garbage. Maybe too far. Anyways, I can't just send them back, I have no idea how will they attack next, even if they found out that Iris is doing fine. I accidentally humiliated their empire and their army... I have no choice.

"Then it is decided, your empire will fall under my rule...". The face of the king and queen clearly showed that my statement was unexpected, same for Aqua and Megumin. "Unless you want those frogs to not only torment you and your army for the rest of you short lives, but for the empire with all its citizen to be visited by an even larger army of frogs." I mean, I'm bluffing, but I have to try to scare them.

"WE SURRENDER! Please spare our nation!". Yup, it worked.

"Then all of you will leave your weapons and armours right here, then go to Axel in order to commemorate this day and prove your loyalty".

"Prove our loyalty?"

"Just go".

After regaining some strength, the army did as they were told.

"So Kazuma, what they hell are you doing? And what do we now do will all this equipment?". Hmmm, good question, I'm no sure myself.

"My lord!".

"Ehhh, is that Vanir?". A convoy of wagons was being led by Vanir. It quickly reached us.

"My lord, worry not, I'll take care of this". Don't tell me...

"Vanir, you predicted this would happen?". He smiled and made a money sign with his fingers.

"Perhaps, my lord". Damn it Vanir. "And one detail, my lord". I looked at him, confused. "Don't forget your knight". Oh shit, how long has she been keeping the frogs busy.

After rescuing Darkness and running away from the giant frogs, we went to the next army.

"Huh?... Ohhh... I have and idea". Actually, two ideas. This is an area that I'm familiar with... But also scared to remember.

"Ahhh... Ahhh...". I was running fast, just fast enough.

Stomp. Stomp.

"I'm almost there". I was reaching the top of a small hill, one among many in the area.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

"There it is". Right in front of me, an enormous army, the army of the Eris Church. It was much bigger than the army of the empire. Let's hope this works.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

"HERE WE GOOOOO!". I screamed with all my strength and with the voice augmenting skill activated. It clearly worked since the entire army stopped and turn in my direction.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

"Let's do this". I took of my shirt. This should get them riled up. And, as expected, the entire army looked in my direction, with a mix of confusion and as if they were seeing trash. Huh? I even felt Megumin and Darkness emanated the same emotions from the top of a nearby hill.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

"AAAAAHHHH". I ran towards the army at full speed, causing even more confusion.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

"Huh?... What?... Wait...". The army's confusion quickly turned into fear and chaos, as tens of thousands of female orcs racing after me appeared in the army's line of sight. As I ran into the army, while dodging the very few attacks from the soldiers that had kept their composure, I started hearing the clash between the out-of-control lustful orc and the soldiers who had just realized what hell they had entered.

"Lurk". Now that the female orcs had a new target, it was time for me to disappear.

"Help!... Don't grab that... I'm married... Ahhhh...". The soldiers were getting a taste of the trauma that I felt back then. Hope they like it.

"Attack! Fight back! For Eris! Don't fear them! Don't fall into lust!". Ohhh, I guess they didn't lose their cool completely. They already started fighting.

Form twenty minutes, the battle kept raging, but the army won. They had fought the fearless and lustful trauma brought by the female orcs, admirably.

"Not going to lie, that was quite a battle. I must say, that the army of the Eris Church gained my respect". I mean, three quarters were still standing strong.

"Kazu-trash...". Yeah yeah. "That is nice of you, buuuuuuut, what now? I can't nuke them, cause I already used it for today".

"Kazu... Ahhh... Kazuma... M-m-maybe I should try luring them... Ahhh... Just thinking about it".

"What is wrong with you? Haven't you had for today with the giant frogs?". Darkness blushed... So I guess that's a no.

"Whatever, it is time for plan B". Darkness and Megumin looked at me questioningly, so I pointed in the direction of the army, near the area where the defeated female orcs laid. "There". Both of them looked carefully.

"Kazuma, who is that?". A hooded figure emerged from the army, and sat on its knees next to one of the female orcs. "Kazuma, don't tell me that's". Megumin was interrupted by a strange field quickly spreading around the hooded figure in question.

"Yup, that's Aqua". Similar to a situationwe lived through a while ago, the female orcs stood up. Only this time, those orcs were radiating a soul crushing lust, which by itself took the nearby soldiers to their knees. Even from far away, we could feel the horror spreading through the entire army.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

It was a massacre. The female orcs were ruthless beyond imagination. The army was mercilessly defeated. It was drained of its vitality, its life force was crushed and the souls of the soldiers were sullied.

"Kazuma, I'm starting to think you're worse that a demon lord".

"What are you talking about, Darkness? This isn't that crazy".

"The fact that such depravity isn't crazy for you, proves my point". Maybe.

"Anyways, now the final touch. Darkness, please lure them away like you did with the frogs".

"Ahhh... With pleasure". Darkness rushed off, just as Aqua was arriving to our location.

"Hey, Kazuma, how did you like my healing magic? Divine, right?". I looked that the depravity happening in the background.

"Yes, Aqua, simply divine". Aqua giggled, then she puffed her chest. This goddess...

"LURE!". We looked in the direction of Darkness. Huh? Nothing happened. Not even one female orc turned its attention towards her. I mean, the skill was working since the soldiers did react, although they were too weak to even move. Then Darkness looked at me. I bet she's wondering what to do next. So I activated my voice enhancing spell.

"TRY IT AGAIN!". Then, the entirety of the female orc stopped and turned in my direction. Shit. Don't tell me they didn't react to Darkness because she's a female? Shit shit shit.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

"DAMN IT!". I ran away at full speed. Although I could easily outrun the normal female orc, these demonic female orc were a different question.

"Ahhh... Ahhh... Ahhh...". I made it.

"There you are Kazuma. What took you so long". Damn you Aqua.

"Doesn't matter... Ahhh... Ahhh... Let's finish dealing with this army".

We moved towards the leaders of the army. The eyes of every soldier were filled with horror. I bet that such believers never thought they would have to face such madness and depravity. Even the female warriors were caught in the chaotic rampage, probably attacked because they were defending their male counterparts.

"I finally meet you, daughter of the previous demon king". I think that's her.

"You... You... Usurper... After all my efforts to get my revenge on you...". I kinda feel bad for her. "How... How did we get defeated so easily?... Why... Why did the goddess Eris let us fail so miserably?... I... I... I believed in her... We believed in her so fervently". Well, I don't now. "Why didn't she help us before you launch the apocalypse with your depraved festival". Now that's a crazy exaggeration.

"Hahaha". I couldn't help my self. "Hahahahahaha". Even my party was surprised, but I couldn't hold it. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!". Everything went quiet, no one seemed to understand my laugh, no one had expected it. "Let me tell you something...". I made sure to talk very loudly, so that many could hear me. "I'm the demon lord of this world, and not even the heavens can stop me". No one moved or talked. Everyone even stopped breathing.

A few seconds had passed, without the slighted sound, until I started moving towards the leader of the Eris Church army. She barely gathered enough energy to sit up, and now tried moving away from me. She barely managed to move a little. When I reached her, I grabbed her by the collar her armour and lifted her up.

"Nggghhh... What... What are you going to do to me? Will you humiliate me in front of everyone here?". What is she even talking about. She was instinctively covering her breasts. Then, I felt a gigantic grin appearing on my face, further filling her eyes with horror.

"Even better...". Her eyes went wide. "I'll humiliate you and your entire army at the same time!". Her eyes went even wider, while most of the soldiers in the area gulped audibly. "I am going to assimilate this army".

"How dare you?! We may have been defeated, but we'll never submit to you". A wave of pride and honour spread throughout the nearby soldiers.

"Understood... They I'll have your people... Your fiends... Your families...". I mean this worked with the previous army, so maybe. "All of them will experience something worse than what happened to you today...". Everyone gulped audibly again. "And I will let my army finish them off, unlike what I did today to all of you". Now a wave of despair spread among the nearby soldiers.

Again they submitted... Again they left their gear... Again they marched towards Axel... And again Vanir appeared, that opportunist.

"My lord, I have a gift for you and your party".

"What is it, Vanir?". Vanir placed a few boxes in front of us.

"Only you will understand it... Use it well... My lord". I don't like this. Anyways, I opened the box.

"Good lord... Is this what I think it is?". Vanir nodded. "And it is for what I think it is?" Vanir smiled... Damn it...

After finding the direction in which the Crimson Clan was advancing, I set up a teleport location and we waited for them to reach it. So we camped for around 30 minutes, just enough time to get... Prepared.

"Kazuma, are you sure about this?". No Darkness, not really.

"Yes".

"Are you dumb enough to think this will work?". Damn you Aqua.

"Yes".

"Isn't this mocking my clan?". What do you think, Megumin?

"Yes."

"Mmmhh". All three of them didn't look convinced.

"Anyways, put it on and let's get some practice". I can't believe I'm going to do this.

From far away, I saw the Crimson Clan approaching the teleport location.

"Everyone ready?".

"Emmmh, Kazuma..."

"Too late, teleport!".

"Wind". The spot I chose had a lot of dust, which was perfect to start a small dust storm, just like an improvised smoke bomb.

"Who goes there?". The dust started clearing, so it was time to shine.

"It is I, the one and only, the loved and feared demon lord, future ruler of Earth, Heaven and Hell". I can barely contain my laughter.

"And I, the goddess of creation, no creation escapes my grasp, not water, not paper, not clay, not earth, NOTHING!". That's a hell of a way to describe party tricks. She loves them so much that she forgot being the goddess of water, heh. Talking about party trick, I forgot to ask her to make that one.

"And I, the master of destruction, the unstoppable force, all tremble under my power... Armies, mountains, cities, civilizations, angles, demons, gods...". SMAKCK. "Uhhh, EVERYTHING!". I had to smack her... She really loves long spells and long introductions.

"And I, the knight of resistance, the immovable object, no one is able to defeat my honour". This one sounds plain stupid.

The dust had cleared, revealing us, posing in weird ways and wearing the cringiest and edgiest clothes that probably existed in this world. None of the crimson clan uttered a word. It seemed to be working.

I moved towards them, changing poses, until I got closer to them. Then I focused on an especially cringy pose, unique and renowned from my previous world.

"Are you seriously marching to attack me? To attack my city? To attack my people?". The crimson clan seemed shocked. "Your clothes have no style...". They looked pained. "Your spell casting is lame...". Some of them put a hand on their chest, as if having a heartache...". And for the finishing blow. "Your entire clan is uncool". Some of the even dropped to their knees. "Heh, an uncool army is no threat to me". I made a gesture, as if sweeping dust off my shoulder towards them. "Don't waste my time". Then I turned around. Turning my back to an extremely powerful enemy. I hope it works. I hope it works.I hope it works. I hope it works. I took a slow step towards my party. Darkness and Aqua were barely containing their laughter while Meguimin was extremely embarrassed.

"Please...". Keeping my cool, I stopped dramatically, entered another pose and slowly twisted my body, dramatically, to turn towards the crimson clan. Huh? They were all on their knees. "Please teach us... M-m-my lord".

"As if...". I focused on being dramatic, it is now or never. "Do you all think you can do it?". More dramatic. "Do you think you can achieve my skills?". Ultra dramatic. "Do you think you can become true edgelords?!".

"Yes... YES... And YES!".

"Then submit to me and I'll show you da wey". I heard Aqua let a small laugh spill out, then Megumin trying to say something but Darkness quickly shutting her.

"We submit".

So I sent them to Axel.

Among all the armies set, the one from the Axis Church made the least sense. So, I'll try talking to them. But first, we changed back to our normal clothes. As for these edgy clothes... I'll have to destroy them later. There should be no memory or proof of their existence.

As the army approached, we simply stood on their path, menacingly. They stopped a few meters away from us.

"Axis Church, why are to aiming to attack Axel?".

"Attack?"

"What?"

"We didn't come to attack Axel".

"Huh? Then why are you here?"

"We heard of the depraved festival that will take place in Axel, and wanted to join".

"Ohhh". Now this was anticlimactic.

So they also when to Axel.

We went back, triumphantly, to our mansion.

"That went better that expected".

"Indeed Kazuma".

"I agree, what a crazy day".

"Big brother, what happened?". Where to start?

"I'll tell you everything, we have some more days till the festival, so I got more than enough time to tell you the details". Iris was happy and eagerly waiting.

A few more days... A few more days till the festival... Even though I hadn't planned to assimilate those armies, it will work in my favour... It will definitely help with the next phase of my plan.