(Bobby)
Dare he allow himself a breath of hope, his faith so broken he feared he might wake from a vivid dream, crashing back into reality and shattering. For all he knew this was a wicked trick of the mind fueled by the alcohol he swore up and down to never drink again. Of course, he knew it to be a lie, his resolve hanging on by threads, For the others were there with him. Upon hearing Athena's words, the ones he'd longed for, Bobby abandoned the lasagna and tore through the firehouse in haste to get to his truck, blindly forgetting the rest of his hurt, lost family.
It was Hen who stepped into his path. It was Hen who got him to speak. After that it all became a bit of a whirlwind, a blur. In short order, the details of which he could not recollect, their firehouse was covered, then they were on the road heading toward the address provided by Athena. Someone called Tommy and he said he'd meet them there. None of them spoke, no doubt every single one of them doing the same thing he was, bouncing back and forth between the hope of hearing Buck's voice, holding him close and the simple thought of it being too late
Much like he had when Buck wound up in his lightning induced coma, Bobby, who hadn't trusted himself to drive, broke out his rosary.
When the silence was it broken it was Chimney who spoke. "Am I the only one thinking this man is a huge sicko? Dragging Buck to the same place we nearly lost Maddie?"
"I'm definitely never vacationing in Big Bear," Hen added. "Too many bad memories at this rate."
They lapsed into silence again, the almost two and a half hour ride passing excruciating slow, or so it seemed. At one point, the whir of a helicopter passed over head and Bobby thanked his lucky stars for Tommy. He only knew the man because of his relationship with Buck, the way he helped Buck discover his true identity tiny and present it to the world instead of hiding it away. A time in the young man's life he wished he could go back to, do things differently. What's done is done. What will be will be.
"He's going to be okay, right?" Hen asked, her voice soft. They were barreling down the highway in Eddie's truck with her at the wheel, Chimney riding shotgun. He sat in the back with Eddie, who looked as uneasy as Bobby felt. "I mean, he's Buck. He's always alright. But what it-"
"We deal with that when, if, the circumstances swing that way," Bobby replied. "For now we operate under the belief he's alive and this is a rescue mission." Not a recovery. "You've said it yourselves, Buck is a fighter. He'll do everything in his power to stay alive, to extend time for us to find him."
"All these days," she pointed out.
"Mean nothing," he said.
His worries mirrored hers, and he'd asked himself the same questions how many times? For them, though, he managed to pull together a heap of optimism, rallying when he wanted to fall apart. Bobby turned his focus to the world passing by outside the window. How much of his life changed because of Buck? He wouldn't have bonded with the rest of them quite the same way, and definitely never found the nerve to ask Athena out on the first date. He had two families because some young, stubborn, headstrong boy waltzed into his firehouse one day reporting for duty. Buck offered him a clear path to the redemption he sought when he fled Minnesota.
When we find him everything will slip back into place. Life will resume some semblance of normal.
XxxxxxxX
(Hen)
Upon reaching the rendezvous point Hen didn't even have a chance to put the truck in park before both Bobby and Eddie fled. She twisted the key shutting off the engine and put a hand on Chimney's arm to keep him from following after them. There were a handful of police cars and uniformed officers milling about the area. She even spied a canine tracking team. At least they're taking the search for Buck seriously. Are we really about to bring him home?
"What's up?" Chimney asked, one hand on the door handle.
"I'm worried about Bobby."
"We all are. Though I'm a little more concerned with Maddie. She keeps trying to hide the fact she's crying every night. At first I tried comforting her, now it's like she wants me to think she's got things under wraps despite the fact she's clearly falling apart." He ran a hand through his hair." I've yet to text her about this little trip of ours. What a stroke of luck she's out of work today."
Hen gave his arm a squeeze. "You're a good man, Chimney, she's lucky to have you, and please don't think I'm giving you the brush off, but what I meant about being worried about Bobby has everything to do with what Karen told me the other night."
"Which is?"
"She saw him at a bar." She'd sat on this information long enough, going back and forth weighing the pros and cons trying to decide if she should confront her boss again or go straight to Athena and lay it all out for her. "According to Karen he had an empty shot glass on the bar in front of him."
"You think he's drinking?"
Hen shrugged. "Maybe?"
"He promised."
"I know."
For a moment neither of them spoke, simply watching the scene unfolding out the window. Then Hen said, "should I tell Athena?"
XxxxxxxxX
(Bobby)
"Athena," he said by way of greeting, trying to maintain some level of professionalism when all he wanted to do was gather her in his arms and hold her close, blinded by his worry for Buck he failed to see the cracks spreading in their relationship. I owe her so much. An explanation. A vacation. Everything I am and more. He managed to catch her eye. "Tonight, me and you, can we talk?"
Something akin to fear flickered across her face, there and gone in an instance, almost like he imagined it. "About anything in particular?"
How you're my rock, my sunshine. How I'm the luckiest man in the world to have you pick me, to be at my side, and put up with mistakes, my past. "Us, mostly. I feel like I've brushed you aside during all of this, taken you for granted." He raised his voice as the loud whump-whump of a helicopter coming in for a landing made it dang near impossible to hear. "I'm sorry."
"Let's concentrate on finding Buck," she said. Her lack of endearing affirmations left him taken aback until she reached out taking his hand and gave it a little squeeze. "How about you join Tommy in the air? The rest of us will continue our search down here. We've already cleared a number of the buildings."
"Okay."
With a singular mission in mind Bobby headed for the landing copter. On the peripheral of his vision he spied Eddie talking to the handler of the canine, likely sharing some wisdom of his time in the military. In short order he got positioned on the copter, greeting Tommy, a man he'd met only a handful of months back when he caused a stir between Buck and Eddie. A man who prompted Buck to stop denying a part of himself, bringing him fully into the light of the world, embracing him, showing him love, and riding to the rescue when his and Athena's cruise literally went belly up. Here he is again, a knight in a helicopter.
"Thank you," Bobby said into the headset as they left the ground.
"Of course. I wish I could've come sooner."
"You're here now and I have a real good feeling we're going to find him."
"I like your optimism."
"Hey, you got me off a sinking ship in the middle of a storm. This should be easier."
"Let's hope so."
"We operate like it's a rescue mission, not a recovery."
"Roger that."
XxxxxxxX
(Tommy)
Unbeknownst to him, Tommy felt like everyone else. Somehow Buck's disappearance was his fault. Mired in training exercises he missed two calls from his ex-boyfriend, mentally promised to call him back when he got a chance, only to be contacted by Eddie a day or two later saying they couldn't find Buck, no one had seen him. He tried to leave, to be excused from duty for a private matter, an emergency, but his whole life revolved around emergencies and he was stuck as the best man for the job, unable to leave.
How he managed to operate with as little as he'd gotten remained a mystery. Their relationship may not have worked out the way he hoped, however, his love for Buck continued. There was something endearing about the bullheaded firefighter.
Tommy directed the chopper over the wilderness, wondering what exactly they hoped to find. It's a rescue. If only Bobby's enthusiasm and confidence in his abilities chased away the fear of being too late to save Buck. As they searched he glanced over his shoulder once or twice, regarding the fire captain. Everything he knew about Bobby he learned from Buck. He'd be hard pressed to name a single person Buck held in higher esteem.
It's a rescue.
Tommy said a little pray.
XxxxxxxxX
(Bobby)
Like the time a dam broke drowning towns in mud and leaving houses destroyed by landslides, Bobby hung out the side of the helicopter scanning the area, this time for any sign of Buck instead of Athena. Funny how his life moved in parallels. What exactly he sought remained a mystery. Hikers, adventurers, the outdoorsy type would have reported a man tied up and left for dead days ago, which meant Lawrence squirreled Buck away somewhere. A cave? A long forgotten cabin left abandoned, desolate, and hidden in a thicket of trees? What if Athena's lead turned out to be yet another wild goose chase?
What if the whole venture it turned out to be pointless?
Tommy's voice came through the headphones. "I can only do the handful more passes then I've got to seriously consider refueling."
" Okay," Bobby replied, his heart sinking. There was still plenty of wilderness to explore. Bobby realized that for all they knew Lawrence had taken Buck out of state somewhere. He'd had a head start, there was no telling what he'd done in that time.
"Bobby, I think we're on to something," Athena's voice crackled on the radio. "The dogs appear to have picked up a trail."
Tommy, directed the helicopter in the direction she gave. Bobby saw the swarm of officers below, biting his bottom lip. They vanished from sight as Tommy flew a bit further on.
"Hey, I think we got something," Tommy shouted. "I'm getting a heat signature, faint and unmoving, it appears to be human shaped."
Faint. Please give us just a little more time.
XxxxxxxX
(Bobby)
Tommy put the chopper down some distance from where he spotted the heat signature, settling in the first clearing he located. As soon as he could, Bobby bolted, leaving both the chopper and Tommy behind, spurred forth by the hope of ending the week's long search for Buck. As trees whizzed by, leaves and twigs crunching and snapping underfoot, he sent up one silent prayer after another. I know, after everything that happened in Minnesota, all the lives my selfish act claimed, my carelessness, the last thing I deserve is another happy ending. But please, this time it's for so many others. Please.
The roar of an engine greeted him as Eddie met him with a four-wheeler. "Get on."
"Do you have him?" Bobby hopped on behind Eddie, wrapping his arms around the younger firefighter.
"We're digging," Eddie shouted in reply.
"Digging?"
"It's just wilderness where the dogs led us and where Tommy picked up the heat signature. The dogs are adamant about the location. The handlers have taken them away to be sure, they keep returning to the same general area. We figure he's gotta be underground."
"Makes sense."
And it did, because anything else would have been stumbled upon sooner. Thinking about Buck buried alive—hopefully—brought with it a fresh set of worries and concerns. Had Lawrence considered how long it might take for them to track him down? Had he allowed for enough air? What about food and… Water. Please, Buck, don't have touched the water.
They arrived on the scene in quick fashion. Eddie let him off, yelled something about going back to get Tommy, but it barely registered with Bobby as he sought out Athena. She came to him, wrapping him in a brief embrace. The clearing amongst towering trees was abuzz with activity. He wasn't entirely sure where the equipment came from, shovels breaking into earth and creating an ever widening hole.
"There's hope," she whispered in his ear.
Hope. A four letter word with a lot riding on it.
Watching the others over her shoulder Bobby caught Hen's eye and realized it was time to clean. Regardless of what they discovered, he wanted to clear his conscience and tell the woman who breathed life into his every day that he'd been tempted, thirsting for the fog and numbing effects of sweet liquor. How he longed to drown his sorrows in the bottle and instead of hitting up more meetings he sought out bars instead. She'd be disappointed, and it would kill him, but Athena deserved to know the truth.
"Athena, sweetheart," he started off, his voice thick. He freed himself of her loving hold, breaking the connection. "There's something I have to tell you."
"Can it wait?"
Bobby shook his head. "I might lose my nerve later."
"What is it? What's wrong?" Athena frowned. Her eyes searched his, most likely trying to pry the answer free before he spoke.
"I…I've screwed up," he said.
"Let's agree we all should let go of the blame. What happened to Buck, Athena shook her head, "He could have picked any one of us. Even me."