In the circular chamber of the Divination classroom, Harry was slumped on the arm of one of the jewel-toned armchairs. The air was thick with incense, making his head feel congested and his vision go hazy. Ron was nearby, scratching absent mindedly into the wood of one of the round tables. They were supposed to be gazing into the crystal ball between them, but since neither of them had seen anything – ever – in it, they had drifted into an uncomfortable silence.
"Mr. Longbottom, you must lookclosely,dear,closely," Trelawney cooed as she circled the tables slowly. Sensing she was going to be at their table soon, Harry sat up straighter and kicked Ron under the table.
"Ow, what – ?"
Harry gestured to Trelawney. "Hurry up, do something!"
"Do what?" Ron frowned, before begrudgingly leaning in towards the crystal ball, holding his hands on either side as if it would actually cause anything to happen.
"Mr. Weasley," Trelawney whispered. "What do you see in Mr. Potter's future?"
"Er," Ron stammered, squinting and moving his hands around over the orb. "A very foggy… mountain."
"Closer, dear," Trelawney said, pushing Ron forward by the shoulder until his nose was practically pressed against the crystal ball. "What is on the mountain?"
"Snow?" Ron said, watching the swirling grey.
"Here, let me," Trelawney said, tossing her purple beaded shawl over her shoulder. "I will read for Mr. Potter."
She leaned forward, eyes narrowing as she hummed under her breath.
"A tree… It's growing amongst other trees, but – wait, yes, a crow flies overhead, nestles In its branches. Its losing all its leaves. The other trees are still intact, this is no work of autumn…" Trelawney took a shuttering breath. "I can't bear to look any longer, the tree is petrified, it is all but decomposed – "
"And I suppose this means, what," Harry snorted. "I'm going to diethisyear?"
"No, no, my dear boy," Trelawney said, clutching at the beads around her neck with magnified eyes. "The forest clearly symbolizes your network of relations, the single tree being visited by raven and then withering away – it can only mean one thing."
Trelawney took a shuddering breath "Someone close to you will die soon."
Harry felt his stomach drop and his blood run cold. Mr. Williams.
"I'm sorry, dear boy," Trelawney said, her voice dripping with sorrow. "The fates have chosen you as a witness to loss, again."
Again. Cedric. Graveyard. Mr. Williams.
"Shut up," Harry whispered, eyes averted.
"Excuse me?"
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Harry yelled, standing up so quickly he almost knocked over his table. The rest of the class all turned, eyes focused on him. "What the fuck do you know about the future? This is all bullshit!"
"Mr. Potter," Trelawney gasped. "I will not have this language in my classroom – "
"You can't just go around telling everyone that everyone is going to die!" Harry shouted. Professor Trelawney's face softened.
"You are in denial, dear – "
"SHUT THE FUCK UP," Harry roared, before grabbing his bag and storming out of the classroom, kicking an unoccupied table on his way out and sending teacups shattering to the ground.
September tumbled delicately into October, as leaves fell gently from the trees. The somber mood of the greying skies matched Harry's spirit. In the time since his conversation with Madam Pomphrey, Harry had felt petrified. No longer did he spend hours going through medical books and case studies. Not because he had given up hope, the very opposite – he was afraid if he kept looking, he would reach the end of what the library had to offer, and when he found nothing there like Madam Pomphrey had promised, then there really would be no hope. It would solidify that there was nothing even magic could do.
Now that he had lost his primary distractor from his anxiety, he engulfed himself in Quidditch, instead. Just like studying magical medicine, Quidditch was all encompassing if he let it. He spent time out on the pitch, even outside of team practices, sometimes multiple times a day. When he first increased his training, Ron had asked to join ("I need all the training I can get!"), though when he realized it involved waking up at five AM, he left Harry to train alone.
As he jogged around the pitch, Harry found a thrill in forcing his heart to race on purpose, to feel sweat dripping down his face. The ache he felt in his muscles forced his attention away from the heaviness in his chest and the prickle in his scar, frequent ever since the moment after Quidditch tryouts. With his new exercise regiment, Harry's appetite returned, for which he was grateful. He didn't feel Hermione's eyes on the back of his head every meal anymore.
Although he was no longer reading medical books, Harry still spent at least an hour if not more a day with Ginny in the library. They would sit together, having small talk, but mostly working independently on their assignments. Sometimes Harry helped Ginny with her Muggle Studies homework. When she didn't have any studying to do – as a fourth year her workload was much lighter – she still sat in the library with him. Harry learned that she was actually an avid reader, and had always spent a fair bit of time in the library, reading for fun.
One such afternoon, Harry and Ginny were at their usual table in the back corner of the library. Ginny was reading a novel, elbows on the table and fully engrossed. Harry, on the other hand, was somewhere else. Trelawney's prediction had sent him into a spiral of worry. Most of her predictions were completely made up. She was bound statistically to make one up that sounded plausible to someone. Isn't that how fake muggle fortune tellers worked? Still, Harry found little reassurance. The fact of the matter was, as of right now, Trelawney's prediction was going to come true. It was only a matter of time.
"Are you ever going to turn that page?"
"Huh?" Harry asked, looking up from his Charms textbook.
"You've been staring at the same page for fifteen minutes," Ginny said raising an eyebrow. "And I don't think – " she tilted her head to be able to read the chapter title " – cheering charms are so difficult that you wouldn't be able to get past the first paragraph."
Harry sighed, flipping the page. Ginny reached over and closed his book.
"What was that for," Harry frowned.
"Clearly you've got something on your mind," Ginny said. Harry felt his heart sink. He had so valued the fact that time with Ginny had meant time not being cornered into some kind of truth-spilling. But rather than saying more, Ginny stood up.
"C'mon," she said.
"Where are you going?"
"We're going flying."
"Why?"
"Maybe because I feel like I could stretch my legs," Ginny said. "We've been in class all day, we deserve a break."
"I don't think – "
"Maybe," she interrupted, "it's because you told me you've been training more, and I want to learn some cool new moves."
"Cool new moves?" Harry said skeptically.
"Or maybe I thought it was a reasonable suggestion that you were likely to agree to," Ginny smirked. Harry rolled his eyes.
"Don't be boring, get up!" Ginny said, reaching out and tugging on his arm. Harry groaned, but gathered up his things and put them into his bag.
Ginny grinned victoriously as Harry slung his bag over his shoulder and together they trekked out of the library.
The sun was just beginning to dip below the treetops of the Forbidden Forest by the time they reached the pitch. Golden rays were cast across the whole stadium. Harry took a moment to go get his Firebolt from the locker rooms.
"Did you have a particular trick in mind?" Harry asked as he came back with his broom.
"What's the coolest one you know?" She asked.
"I've been working on a Wronski Feint, but that's quite difficult."
"Well then, good thing I've got a star seeker to help me with it," Ginny joked, nudging him with her elbow. "Show me how it's done then."
Harry swung his leg over his broom and kicked off from the ground. The wind rushed through his hair as he soared upward. The speed left Harry feeling like he'd left a part of himself behind down below, this separation of body and spirit that he had so often craved recently. Once he was high enough that Ginny was merely a speck on the field, he banked right and circled a few times.
"Ready?" he called.
"Quit stalling!" she shouted back, barely audible.
Harry grinned and leaned forward. He plunged into a steep dive, bent so low forward that his nose practically touching his broom handle. The world became a blur of gold and green as he sped closer to the ground gaining speed, faster and faster still. Just as he felt like he was about to crash into the earth – an idea that sent a thrill of adrenaline through him – he pulled up sharply on his broom and leveled out along the ground.
Ginny let out a loud whoop as Harry made a lap around the pitch and then slowed down to hover just in front of her.
"I'd give it a strong seven," Ginny said.
"What!" Harry said indignantly. "Where did I lose points?"
"I could tell you were holding back," she said. "Where's your Gryffindor bravery?"
"What, did you want me to crash into the ground?"
"I'm kidding," Ginny said sincerely. "It looked wicked. Would you let me have a go?"
"Er, I'm not sure – " Harry started.
"What, you don't think I can do it?"
"It just that, it's dangerous."
"If it's so dangerous then why didyoujust do it," Ginny said, folding her arms.
"I've been practicing for a while," Harry said cautiously. Ginny rolled her eyes.
"C'mon, get off, let me have a go."
"Fine," Harry said, touching down and passing her his Firebolt. She accepted it, looking at the wooden handle admiringly.
"I've never flown such a nice broom," she said, running her fingers across the inscription.
Harry smiled a little. "Don't get too attached to it, I do need it back eventually."
"No promises," Ginny said, mounting the Firebolt. She kicked off from the ground and streaked upward. Her natural talent shown immediately – she looked effortless as she did a few spirals and loops in the air, testing out the mechanics of the broom.
"Quit stalling!" Harry shouted jokingly. Ginny stuck out her tongue, and then tiled into a dive. She didn't go quite as fast as Harry had as she soared downward, but Harry still felt his breath catch in his throat as he watched her hurtle towards the grass, closer and closer.
She pulled out of the dive sooner than Harry had, too, but it was still a clean transition. She shot back up into the air, doing a flip backwards before slowing down and stepping off the broom with a bit of a trot.
"How was that?" She said, sounding slightly breathless.
Harry grinned. "Six and three-quarters."
"You prick," she laughed, punching him in the arm.
"Just trying to keep you humble," Harry laughed.
Ginny passed the Firebolt back to Harry. "Merlin, no wonder you always catch the snitch. This broom is unreal."
"It is brilliant," Harry admitted. There was a moment of silence between them, a pause in the conversation that neither of them felt they needed to fill. The sky had turned a deep purple now, and the stars were just beginning to peek out. Ginny took in a breath, as if she was about to say something, but then she exhaled gently.
"I think we may still catch the end of dinner, if we head in now," she said.
"Yeah, let's go," Harry said, shouldering his broom. Together they walked off the pitch.
Ava –
Don't worry about what you write, I'm sorry I can't be more helpful than whatever I can do through letters. It's great that your dad has been moving around more. Is he still getting chemo? How many rounds does he have left?
I can't imagine what it's like to see your mum like that. I feel really useless right now. Please let me know if there's anything I can do.
Tell me more about Francine. Is she good at Maths, or is she as bad as you are? Hopefully you've found someone to copy off of, so you stand a chance at passing this year.
School is going well for me. It's pretty much the same as every other year, just classes and not much else. Hermione and Ron are both very busy now that their prefect duties have fully started, so I don't see them as much. I've honestly been seeing more of Ron's siblings than Ron. His older brothers, Fred and George, are trying to launch a line of prank products (do you like pranks?) and I usually study in the library with his younger sister, Ginny. It's nice to have company through the boring stuff.
Tell your mum and dad I said hi and that I'm thinking of them.Pleaselet me know if there's anything I can do.
– Harry
Harry is back in the graveyard. The air is heavy the scent of damp earth, and the feeling of something incredibly dark and incredibly dangerous on the outskirts of his vision.
"Why did you break your promise?"
Harry twisted around. It's Ava. She is wearing all black, her hair looks limp. Her shoulders hang listlessly.
"Ava, it's not safe here," Harry said quickly, stepping around some of the low tomb stones. Every step he took, Ava seems to slide further backward, just out of reach. Ava looked up, her eyes look black.
"Youlied," Ava hissed. "You left me herealone. You're just as bad asthem."
"I'm sorry," Harry said, still trying to reach out for her. "Please, Ava, please just come with me, we have to leave, he's going to kill us – "
"My dad is dead," Ava spat. "And it's your fault. I trusted you!"
"Please trust me now," Harry begged. "Let's go – "
The air went cold. Frost began forming on the ground. Harry's breath hitched.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
Ava screamed. A flash of green erupted, flooding Harry's vision.
"AVA!" He called blindly, pushing forward and frantically reaching out around him, hoping to find her arm.
"AHH!" Voldemort hissed, his face inches from Harry, blood red eyes boring sharply into him. Harry screamed, jumping backwards, and shooting up in bed. Something was trying to strangle him.
"AVA!" Harry shouted, kicking and twisting himself, trying to get free. His forehead burned with acute sharp pain.
"What the bloody hell, Harry?!" Ron cried, tearing his curtains open.
"Ron?" Harry breathed. His heart was still racing, but he stopped struggling against his duvet that was tangled around his arms and legs.
"Yeah," Ron said cautiously, eyeing Harry as he continued to hyperventilate. "Calm down mate, you just had a nightmare."
"Yeah, right," Harry panted. He ran his hands through his hair a few times, the panic still coursing through him.
"Do you want some water?" Ron asked.
"No, thanks, I'm alright," Harry said, throwing his covers off of him and standing shakily. He noticed then that his other dormmates were also awake, all sitting up in bed. Seamus rolled his eyes at Harry before laying back down.
"Do you want me to – "
"It's fine, Ron," Harry said, a bit more sharply than he meant to. He took a deep breath. "I'm just going to go downstairs. Sorry I woke you."
Harry felt dizzy as he stepped down the spiral stairs into the common room. He knew logically he was physically in Gryffindor Tower, but mentally he was still in the graveyard. Rather than moving towards the fire, Harry walked to a chair and table set up near a window. Opening the window, Harry breathed in the crisp, damp, October air of the mountains. It surrounded him quickly, like being doused in cold water. He inhaled deeply, but despite how fresh it was, it didn't feel any easier to breathe.
Later that morning, just as Harry approached her and Ron, Hermione hastily shoved something under the table. Harry raised an eyebrow.
"It's nothing," she said with a squeak.
"Uh huh," Harry glowered, lowering himself onto the bench. Hermione sighed.
"It's… It's the Daily Prophet," Hermione admitted, pulling the newspaper back out.
"Seriously Hermione?" Harry said, his voice flat as he shook his head. "I get enough of that shit from Umbridge, why are you subscribed to the papers?"
"Because," she said, her voice sounded forced, "we need to know what's going on. We might not believe what the Prophet has to say, but a lot of people do. If we don't understand their perspectives, then we're not going to be able to do anything to change them."
Harry grumbled incoherently, scooping a few fried eggs onto his plate.
"I don't like it either," Ron said taking another bite of bacon. "But she's got a point."
Harry was in no mood to continue this conversation. They had Defense Against the Dark Arts later that day, and entering class already in a piss poor mood was just a sure fire way to get detention.
"How was your morning run?" Hermione asked, trying to change the topic.
"Didn't go," Harry grunted. He had still felt ill from the night before, but now he regretted not going. The residual adrenaline was still buzzing under his skin, making him feel like he was about to snap. He picked at his eggs disinterestedly.
"Oh," Hermione said gently. "That's too bad, maybe we can all go for a quick walk around the grounds before Astronomy starts, the fresh air is probably good – "
"I'm fine," Harry said curtly, picking up his knife and sawing at his food.
Ron let out a small sigh. "Mate, you're not fine."
"Can we just – !" Harry exclaimed, dropping his utensils with a clatter and rubbing at his eyes in frustration. Neither Ron nor Hermione said anything, the rest of the students around them still chattering, the sounds of knives and forks against plates echoing.
"Just let me be, alright?" Harry said finally, picking up his cutlery again. He shoved the now cold egg into his mouth chewing. Ron and Hermione exchanged a look, but didn't say anything else.
"Sleep ok, Potter?"
Harry stiffened. Gossip spread like wildfire at Hogwarts. Damnnit, Seamus.
"I heard your bedding gave you quite a fright last night," Draco drawled.
"Shove off, Malfoy," Ron said, grabbing Harry by the shoulder and twisting him to face the table again.
"OhAva," Draco called mockingly. "Ava!Who's that, Potter? Your girlfriend? Or just some muggle slut you found over the summer?"
Harry banged his fist on the table as he stood quickly. Several first years sitting nearby jumped in terror. Harry clenched his fists, using every ounce of effort to stop himself from turning around and punching him in the face. After a deep breath, he looked to the teachers table and saw the seats filled, including with Umbridge and Snape. He wouldn't get away with anything here.
Instead, he reached down and picked up his bag, abandoning his mostly untouched breakfast.
"Library," he said gruffly to Ron and Hermione, and then walked out, the laughing jeers of Slytherins echoing behind him.