ADVISORY:The following chapter contains sensitive material relating to: Trauma. Remember to practice self care before, during, and after reading.
Chapter: 158 The Silent War
- ACCESSING IMPERIAL NETWORK -
IHC: Imperial High Command to Inquisitor. Codename: Wrath. Respond immediately.
...
IHC: Imperial High Command to Inquisitor. Codename: Wrath. Respond!
...
IHC: You are to cease all operations effective immediately.
Hans: I don't think so.
IHC: What?
Hans: You are no longer in control of me. I'm making the rules now.
Hans Westgard meant every word of his intentions to Vader. Without a need for jurisdiction, he'd succeeded in sharing his pain with the galaxy. There was no order to his murderous spree. No plan beyond finding Anna. Hans would ravage any planet, cut down every obstacle, and lose any trooper if it meant achieving his goal. If the galaxy was aflame due to the Galactic Civil War, Hans dragged it further into his own hell. Rumors spread of his atrocities and the lone Star Destroyer he traveled in. The Butcher's infamy reached underground HoloNews networks. Rebel cells were going dark as word of Hans' slaughter hit more outlets. When news reached the Alliance fleet, whispers became uproars.
By guising himself under Vader's accord, Hans had struck people with a new magnitude of fear. The thought of an Imperial agent working on his own and beyond all order was terrifying. So much so, that some Rebels favored desertion after years of fighting. As the years had passed, more and more soldiers were already losing the 'Why' of it all. No matter how many victories had reached their efforts, the Rebellion was always on the run. The Empire could shift as it pleased, yet still maintain such a dominant presence over the stars. A rogue and murderous Inquisitor was the last straw for many.
Private bickers transitioned into riotous shouts as an Alliance shuttle powered up. While soldiers heckled and shook their fists, the deserters carried on. One could only wonder if they were smart or foolish for leaving the war effort. As the vessel zoomed out of the hangar, a durascrub clanged to the floor. By the time Ash turned to look for Anna, she was already storming out.
Ash was quick on their feet to catch up with her. "Anna," they beckoned. "What are you-...Where are you-"
"I'm going to the bridge," Anna growled and continued her march. "This banthashit is over. I am getting cleared and reinstated into command right now."
"Anna, you aren't ready." Ash warned as she scoffed. "Please just take a breather for a moment. You-"
Rage built up within Anna. Unable to keep it wound up, she unraveled with a furious spin. "I'm not taking anymore breathers!" Anna snapped. "I'm not scrubbing another floor. I'm not keeping my kriffing head down!" Ash was surprisingly calm under the verbal barrage. Instead of firing back, they gripped their shoulders and averted their gaze from Anna. Feeling like she'd argued enough, Anna huffed. "Look, I know you mean well. But getting back into this fight is the only way this ends. You just...couldn't ever understand." Ash sighed, and let Anna go. They watched the tired Jedi trudge her way to the elevators and out of sight.
No amount of empathy was getting through to Anna Dellian. From the moment the bridge's elevator opened, she emerged with wild eyes. "I want back in," she demanded, even as Mon Mothma and Admiral Ackbar stood from afar.
"Ma'am," a deck officer warned. "You can't-"
"The hell I can't," Anna growled and swatted his hand away. She pushed forward and raised her voice to her superiors. "Clear me and let me fight! Otherwise I'll take a ship just like those deserters just did."
"Stop this madness," Ackbar countered. "Do anything of the sort and you'll only doom yourself."
"You forget that I was fighting the Empire long before joining the Alliance," Anna said. "I've started over a hundred times. A hundred and one is nothing for me. I'll make another Rebel cell."
"Our strength is in numbers," Mon added.
"Numbers that are dwindling!" Anna refuted. "The Alliance is constantly on its heels and we dare boast of strength? Get me back in the fight and I'll leap where others flee. I will take that Inquisitor down. This is your last chance, or I walk."
The admiral was about to unleash a flurry of words, but Mon seized the conversation. "No, Anna," she asserted. "This is your last chance. Do not let your frustrations speak for reality. You know as well as I do that leaving the Alliance is not what you want. You wish to kill this Inquisitor and it's clouding your judgement." Her words gave Anna pause as Mon stepped down to her level. "Amid the copious crimes he has committed, one fact remains the same from those who survive. He's hunting you. Did you not stop to think that breaking off from the Alliance and engaging this Hans alone is precisely what he wants?" Mon capitalized on Anna's pensive silence. "He wants you in a raging stupor. He wants you careless and severed from any aid. And if you fight on his terms, you will lose."
Anna's clenched fist reverted to a limp tremor. The sight flustered Anna until all she could do was back away. "I know-" she murmured. "I know he's doing this to get to me. But what other choice do I have? How many more have to die because of me?"
Mon glanced around the bridge and observed her staff's wandering eyes. Unwilling to stoke further dissent, she gestured to the elevator. "Let us take a walk." Catching on, Anna relented and followed her lead. Instead of returning to the primary corridors, Mon set the elevator for the command atrium. Consisting of a single hall, this level featured multiple rooms where travel data was kept. Only Mon's most trusted and loyal soldiers were allowed on the floor, setting her at ease.
"I don't understand how suspending me is helping anyone," Anna admitted. "I'm cooped up on this ship and scrubbing floors while I get to hear about Hans killing innocents. All in my name too."
Mon glanced at Anna's trembling hand. "There's a truth that comes with the price of consistency," she said. "We follow the same path for so long, that we don't see how far time has taken us."
"Ma'am?" Anna questioned.
"We're old." Mon answered flatly. "It's time to accept that. You and I are old, tired, and full of frustration as we try to lead the next generation. We're terrified that all of our efforts will be in vain, because no one seems to have learned anything. Millions, if not trillions died in the Clone Wars. Our war with the Empire is no different. And so the cycle goes on, and we lose a part of ourselves the more we say it isn't so. Well it is. And I'm admitting that to myself as much as I'm telling you to accept it."
"So that's just it then? We get phased out and someone else inherits the burning galaxy? After everything?"
Mon hung her head, but found strength in her convictions. "No," she replied. "We rise to meet our adversities. But we also need to cling to who we are. We are not our fight. We are not our cause. These are parts of us, but we are people first. Acknowledge that mortality. That pain. You've been saving people all of your life at the cost of neglecting your wellbeing. I'm not asking you to stay. If you choose to leave, then I won't stop you. But I believe that you don't want to leave. You want action and an end to the mess of it all." Anna grimly nodded as Mon mirrored the gesture. "I only ask that you make your decision with a calmer head. Jedi or not, neither of us can act on our anger. You're one of the best people this Alliance has serving it, and that is precisely why your wellbeing matters."
Letting her anger defuse, Anna spoke slower. "Thanks for talking to me," she said. "It's just hard to feel like you lose more often than you win." Anna scoffed at herself. "Maybe it was always like that, and I just never chose to see it."
Mon concurred, but chose to push Anna forward. "You aren't stuck because you aren't cleared for combat," she professed. "You're stuck because you're resisting change. Reflect on where you are. Be honest with yourself. Reality is not to be feared, but embraced. No matter how horrible it may be, nothing will be more valuable than the truth."
Anna finally let herself breathe deeply, and in doing so thought of Ash. Feeling ashamed of herself for snapping at the janitor, she offered a salute to Mon Mothma. "I'll think on your words, ma'am. Thank you." As Anna departed, Mon breathed a sigh of relief. For while she'd offered Anna a choice, she was worried about another desertion.
Anna returned to her designated station, only Ash was nowhere to be found. In fact, their durascrub had been checked back in, along with Anna's. She scoured Home One's lower levels and asked around, but there was no sign of them anywhere. As Anna prepared to call it quits on her search, she noticed a resigned silhouette. There sat Ash, arms wrapped around their legs and leaning against a hallway viewport. Shadows claimed one side of their undercut while starlight shined against the other.
The silence was as blissful as it was tense. Anna slowed her steps as she neared the viewport. "Hey," she began, still clearing her throat. "Ash...about before. You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry. I think I have more to work through than I've been letting even myself believe. But that doesn't make my reaction right."
Ash brought their gaze to Anna's. With a gentle motion, they patted the space across from them. Anna accepted the invite and sat against the viewport. "Amazing, isn't it?" Ash said. "You think you've seen so much of the galaxy, and yet there's always more. We'll never see it all, and never know it all. Because we aren't meant to. But everyone needs to find that out for themselves. Until they do, everyone forgets that they're living in a galaxy of trillions every once in a while. Looking out here is always a nice reminder." Anna raised a brow, unsure where Ash was going with their words.
"I shouldn't have assumed I'd seen a person like you before," Anna admitted. "I was so swept up in my own frustration."
"Still suspended?" Ash asked and Anna nodded. "Well, that makes two of us."
"Wait, what?" Anna sputtered.
"You heard me," Ash muttered. They raised an arm and flexed it. "You think I got these arms scrubbing floors?" They pointed to a tattoo along the bicep. Two blaster rifles were crossed behind an intimidating rancor skull. "Dune Demons," they explained. "9th Infantry Division."
Anna was as invested and she was embarrassed for her earlier outburst. "You were...are...a soldier too? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because my business wasn't yours to carry," Ash explained. "Well, that and we spent a lot of time talking about your problems."
"And that in itself is a problem," Anna admitted. "The galaxy doesn't revolve around my issues, so maybe it's time I just listened. What happened to you?"
Ash pondered deeply before looking out to the stars again. "Love," they admitted. "Love of so much more than our beautiful homeworld." Ash went on. And as their aching heart unraveled, Anna took the time to let each word sink in. She pushed herself to be patient, and in turn felt as though she was there...reliving Ash's story...
Naboo truly was a paradise, even amid political tensions during the Clone Wars. I was an artist for the queen herself, and she'd often recommend my services to other dignitaries. I was always grateful for the work. Just never thought that it would lead me to the love of my life. I used to think I had life all figured out, and then there she was to challenge my thoughts. Nerva...She was a chronicler at the time, and we soon paired our expertise to create immersive stories of our world. We reached people during troubled times, and our goal was to inspire hope. The work was always handled with care. But the time we spent growing together? That's what made it all worth it. We could've lost everything if it came down to it, but we were wealthy in each other's company. Laugh if you will, but it was true.
When the war ended, Nerva and I planned to move out of the capital. While Theed had provided so much opportunity, we were ready to settle down in the lake country. We were so...damn happy. Like the galaxy wasn't on fire around us. And like any flame, it eventually reaches further than anticipated. People think the Empire came to Naboo, but it never really left. The fall of the Republic was just proof to me that the real war never ended. The Empire never shut up about safety and security for the Naboo. Protection and jobs were promised to all loyal, Imperial citizens. It seemed great on a datapad anyway.
We were recommissioned by the regional governor to create "Inspiring artwork." The likes of which would garner support for the Empire's efforts to save the galaxy. Between the usurpation of our queen and the constant military seizures, "saving" anything sounded more and more like an illusion. Nerva and I saw through the games, soon realizing that our inspirational pieces were nothing more than propaganda tools for the Emperor.
Taking our time to plan our moves, we refused to take part in the Empire's brainwashing. We knew we'd have to leave Naboo. For where? We didn't have a clue, but news of resistances in the Outer Rim gave us hope. One night, we finalized our escape plan and declared we were seeking new material. That the Naboo countryside would provide new content for our work. In reality, we'd hired a smuggler in the swamplands to get us offworld. How foolish we were.
We'd made it several miles out of town before we were stopped by an Imperial convoy. Any attempts to keep things at a casual conversation faltered when an officer demanded to search our landspeeder. Nerva could see how scared I was and we were already raising suspicions. She knew there wasn't a lot of time, and believed in me far more than I was willing to. "I love you," she said and hit the accelerator.
The Empire pursued, abandoning all desire to search and instead opened fire. We chased the sunset as darkness claimed the sky. Nerva got us as far as she could towards the swamplands. I leapt out, believing she was behind me. That was when I heard the landspeeder's engine roar again. I remember my heart sinking as I watched Nerva speed away. Ducking beneath the mangroves, I watched as she led our Imperial pursuers away. I watched long until night blanketed the chase and they vanished over the hills. I fought every urge to hopelessly run after the craft. With tears in my eyes and a heavy heart, I honored her sacrifice. The smuggler was able to get me offworld, but what was the point? I didn't survive to live alone, forever severed from my spouse. Unsure if they were alive or lost forever. I was more anxious than I'd ever been...and soon realized that I was my only hope.
I stopped at nothing to find my Nerva. I didn't care what I had to do. All I wanted was to get them back and make the Empire pay every step of the way. I joined any resistance movement I could, always thinking of Nerva. I lit the Outer Rim up with blasterfire and cracked skulls. Assassination, sabotage...full combat. None of it was beneath me. Yet for every life I took over the years, I lost a part of myself. Nerva's memory faded in my aching mind, but that only enraged me further. By the time I'd joined the Alliance, my expertise brought me to the rank of commander. I knew it was all a means to an end, and planned to lead a search for Nerva once I'd reached a higher rank. Until then, my unit was wiping the Outer Rim clear of Imperials.
Our Tatooine campaign assured that the Empire would never establish a base that far out. For years, we took down any unit they rolled in. We were the Dune Demons, and our fury against the enemy was unmatched. With every thermal thrown and trigger pulled, I remembered Nerva. I remembered everything those bastards took from me. And it was only a matter of time before it all caught up too.
We'd been ordered to fall back. Word had reached our generals that the Empire was moving an entire legion to Tatooine to 'pacify' any resistance. I was so pent up with rage...so lost in my own fight, that I forgot about the Rebellion's cause. If it had ever been about them to begin with. The Dune Demons didn't follow orders, and we took the Imperials head on without a second thought.
When Alliance medics woke me up on a recovery frigate, they explained the situation. My entire unit had been destroyed, and my unconscious hide had been dragged out of a sandy crater. The Empire didn't even stay to occupy Tatooine. They only wanted us gone and got their wish. By the time of my demotion, I didn't have a quip left in me. Everything they said about me was true. I had put myself first, and in turn gotten everyone in my unit killed.
Ash ran their fingers along the viewport's edge. "I've been servicing Home One ever since, still trying to make sense of it all."
Anna relaxed her shoulders and searched her feelings to understand. Hugging herself, she spoke through a series of mutters. "I'm sorry," was all Anna could bring herself to say. She knew Ash's words to be true. For in a galaxy full of so much suffering, it was easy to feel like anyone's was the most important. But it was impossible to comprehend it all. To fathom the magnitude of feeling throughout the cosmos. Whether declared to the world or fighting a silent war, so many were struggling.
To the Jedi's surprise, Ash offered a hand. They wrapped fingers with each other and shared dwindling smiles. "I know not where my Nerva is," Ash said. "Sometimes my mind says it's easier to admit she's dead. Other times have me yearning with a hopeful heart. Maybe I'll find out, or maybe I'm not supposed to. The only certainty I have is that one day, the pieces will flow into place." They solemnly nodded to Anna. "For both of us."
Author's note:
Thank you so much for reading this week's chapter of "The Frozen Force." My Star Wars heart is so happy with the conclusion of Star Wars Celebration 2025. There were so many exciting projects and announcements to look forward to. What are you most excited for?
I'll see you next Friday, May 2nd for Chapter: 159 - "Shadow Squadron."
Long Live Imagination and May the Force be with you,
~ Sparks