"Gun Hill Road"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: I don't own any Third Watch characters. All original characters in this belong to me

Summary: In the years following 9/11 Bosco and Liz struggle with health issues and emotional trauma. But when Fred dies suddenly, Faith's children have no where to go. Can Bosco and Liz keep their own demons at bay and give Emily and Charlie a good life? (Sequel to "Last Exit to Brooklyn")

Chapter Eleven

Emily put her bag on the bed looking around the room trying not to cry. Grandma Shirley's spare bedroom was exactly what you might think; outdated peach ruffled comforter, drawn yellowing blinds, and doilies everywhere. The walls had shelves mounted on them each lined with porcelain dolls. Emily used to like coming to visit her grandma to look at the dolls never being allowed to play with them. Her favorite was a blue one with pink hair and little snowflakes painted on her tiny cheeks. Grandma Shirley called it her January doll and said she liked it to, careful to pry it out of Emily's little fingers and wipe it off before putting it back on the shelf.

Now the January doll and about a dozen others stared back at her as Emily fought the urge the throw them all on the floor. Why did terrible things just keep happening to them ? It wasn't enough that both her parents were dead apparently. She exhaled slowly reminding herself of what Bosco said before she left.

'I'll make this right, I promise.'

He'd never lied to her once and no matter what she knew he always kept his promises. It still didn't make this any better and just as Emily felt a lump of emotion rise up Charlie came storming through the door.

"We have to sleep together ?!" He flung himself onto the full sized bed moaning. Emily already hated the idea but chose to remain silent lest this happen. "I want to go home !" Before she could say anything or try to calm him down, Grandma Shirley appeared in the door.

"Charles that's enough. You'll act like the young man you're becoming if you want to stay here." She clicked her tongue and shook her head.

"I don't want to stay here ! I want to go home !" He launched a throw pillow toward her tearing the bed apart in a tantrum. Emily could see she'd not been expecting this.

"Your home is right here, young man !" A look of disgust crossed her face as she shook her head. "You don't belong with that man- your mother's friend or his wife. They're not family."

Unable to hold it in Emily snapped, "You don't know anything about them ! And Bosco was my mom's partner not her friend…"

Shirley took a step toward Emily putting her hands on her hips. "A fine job he did of that, too. Any better and your mother might still be alive !" Emily was stunned as she stared wordlessly at the old woman looking back at her. "Your father never liked that man and he was fit to be tied when your mother made him sign that…." She stopped and her eyes widened realizing she just said too much. Emily, however, was too upset and taken aback to notice. "Well it doesn't matter now. You're both where you belong."

Emily nodded wordlessly her head still spinning. "Can I take shower before dinner ?"

Shirley looked at her watch and nodded. "Yes but make it fast. Dinner is early tonight because your grandfather is coming home from the hospital. The ambulance will be here around seven." It hadn't escaped her that Grandpa Joe was nowhere to be found. A hospital bed freshly made sat in the front room with a stack of pillows waiting for him. The last time she saw him he was getting around with a walker, apparently things had gotten worse.

"It's good grandpa is coming home." Emily sorted through her things looking for a clean set of clothes.

"Yes it is, and now that you're living here with us you can help me." She froze. "You know he's too heavy for me to move by myself." She stood still her hands stuck around the bottle of shampoo. When Charlie charged back out the door yelling he was hungry she heard Grandma Shirley go too, leaving her alone. It was only then that she began to cry. Instantly she pulled the phone from her bag knowing if she called Bosco or LJ they would know just what to say to make her feel better. Hell, maybe they'd even come get her tell Grandma Shirley where to stick it. Remembering Liz crying silently in the bathroom and Bosco doing everything to hold his own emotions back, she put the phone down knowing she couldn't do it. They were sad too, devastated even, and her whining and crying wouldn't help anyone. She needed to be strong, that was her job, and in the meantime she would pray that Bosco could figure this out.

"She just rode up and took them ?" Sully stared at Bosco incredulously. It was nearly nine pm and the first time they'd stopped all shift. Bosco drank the coffee in his hand, tasteless and long cold, he needed something to stay awake. Naturally they hadn't slept much in the last couple nights absolutely besides themselves over losing the kids.

"She had a court order for temporary custody. Came with some social worker and the cops." He shook his head. "Makes me think we should have done the same." Davis was quick to disagree.

"Wouldn't have mattered. Preference is always give to family before friends." Liz exhaled, this had been Bosco's thing not hers, and yet here she was already fallen in love with idea of them being hers too.

"So what ? Now we just sit here and hope for the best." Bosco tossed the coffee onto the ground his posture tight with agitation. Sighing Sully shook his head.

"Not much else you can do." They fell into silence, Bosco curbing the urge to put his fist through something. Davis spoke first trying to tap into the limited knowledge he had from his one semester at Fordham.

"You'd need to prove that your home is better than what they have with their grandmother." He paused adding, "Emily's what ? Sixteen now."

"She'll be sixteen in August." Bosco cut in. "She's still fifteen."

Davis nodded, "That's good. She can pick what she wants to do when she's sixteen."

"No. That's only in family custody disputes. If this was between the mother and father she could choose…" Bosco heard enough, his thinly veiled restraint crumbling as he snapped.

"Well too bad they're both dead…"

"Don't bitch at me…I'm just trying to help you." Sully exhaled loudly putting his hands in the air. "It's a shitty situation, Bosco, and there's not a whole lot you can do."

Liz stepped forward, "Bosco." She shot him a look and he immediately stopped scowling at Sully. "There has to be something, though, right ?" They all looked at each other silently wondering if there really was anything at all.

Emily pressed her lips together as she watched the paramedics push her Grandpa Joe into the house. Grandma Shirley was outside fretting about the ramp and whether or not her door would get scuffed. Charlie stood beside her completely overwhelmed by it all staring with his mouth open and a stuffed animal under his arm. Grandma Shirley got rid of the couch and replaced it with a hospital bed leaving the living room with nothing more than a recliner. Apparently she expected them to sit on the floor. Blinking back the tears, Emily forced herself to remain stoic.

"Careful with him now." They wheeled up next to the bed pulling him over using the sheet and dumping him onto the mattress. Of course he moaned and groaned but they didn't seem to care folding the sheets over and leaving him like a pile of dirty laundry. Replacing the buckles onto the bed they left just as quickly as they'd come. Grandma Shirley stood in front of the bed with her hands on her hips clicking her tongue in irritation. "Emily, come over here."

Numbly she did as she was told coming to stand the foot of the bed staring at her grandfather with a mix of fear and disbelief. "What…What do you want me to do ?" She had no idea how to take care of a person. Sure she took care of her brother, but that was like babysitting…this was nursing.

"We need to get him straightened up and I'm sure his diaper needs changed." She couldn't believe that just a day ago she was with Bosco and Liz having the greatest time at the lake. It almost seemed like a dream right now.

"Ahhh….veeettt." Grandpa Joe met her gaze trying to say something but grunting instead. Emily looked back at him open mouthed and utterly taken aback by the sounds coming from his mouth.

"I…ah…I can't understand him." She felt a surge of panic.

"He had a stroke, Emily ! He can't talk anymore." She instantly felt her face go hot and red at the lashing. Putting her head down she tried not think about anything she was about to do. "Now roll him toward you." The stoke paralyzed his right side and therefore he could do nothing to turn himself her direction. With all her strength Emily hauled him toward her getting him up and holding him there with no help from her grandmother who was fussing over his wet diaper and the red mark on his ass. Charlie had gone back to their room, thankfully, and hopefully was amusing him for the time being.

"They sent you home all wet Joe !" It was quite apparent Grandma Shirley had done this before, making quick work of the dirty sheets tucking a waterproof pad underneath and then a fresh diaper over that. Thick cream went onto the red mark which Emily figured out by now was a bed sore in the making, and she wiped him down throughly with baby wipes. Emily had never seen a man's thing in real life, her brother's yes of course , but that was different and he was a little boy. Rolling him back she yanked the sheet up keeping it covered pushing him back toward her grandmother as told. His bare ass in front of her she looked at only the sheets pulling the old ones out along with the pad and diaper. "Go into the kitchen I'm going to clean him off in the front."

Emily didn't hesitate, ducking away and going straight to the sink pouring herself a glass of water to calm down. That hadn't been so bad, maybe that was all she would want her to do, still awful but not as bad as she thought. A visiting nurse would be coming she assumed and maybe Grandpa Joe would get better and be able to walk around again. Yeah…she would get through this. "Emily come back in here ! I need you to help me lift him up."

Setting the water down she took a deep breath. "Coming !"

There was a lot of things Bosco loved about his wife, but something he both love and hated was the fact that she never gave up. Not even when it was obvious that she should. Like with him, clearly a lost cause and yet she persisted, eventually convincing him he was worth all the love she gave him.

Stumbling out of the bedroom, Bosco rubbed his eyes aware that the lights were on in the kitchen. He knew Liz wasn't in bed and just assumed she fell asleep on the couch or maybe in the kid's room- he'd found her asleep in Emily's bed more than once already. They'd been his thing but not surprisingly she'd fallen hard for the idea of being their mother. Of course no one had dared utter such an insult to Faith, but he knew…how could he not. The way she held Charlie rocking him when he cried or when he was cold and shivering from the lake. She wasn't just going through the motions, she was nurturing him. He didn't say anything, why would he ? If possible he was worse off, being totally head over heels for Faith's kids a long time ago.

"Did I wake you up ?" She had a cup of coffee in front of her and papers spread out all over the table, her lap top open in the middle. Bosco shook his head pulling out a chair trying to make sense of what needed to be done at two in the morning.

"What are you doing up ?" His eyes immediately went straight to the scar on her neck. Pink and puckered it was totally healed although he couldn't help but to worry if the lack of sleep might change that.

"Looking some things up for the lawyer tomorrow." Davis had an old girlfriend who was now a prosecutor, she knew a few people who worked in the family division and hooked them up a woman who does pro bono work for first responders. Everyone was eager to help New York's finest since 9/11 and while taking a hand out made him physically ill he knew they wouldn't get this kind of help any other way.

"Can I help ?" She needed to get some sleep.

She shook her head. "Most of what I see gives blood relatives and friends the same standing in the eyes of the law." Bosco nodded his head.

"That's good."

"The court just needs to agree that our home is better than the one they have with Shirley." Bosco shrugged.

"How could her home be any better than this ? They have their own room…" She cut him off knowing exactly what the court would say.

"They share a room, Bosco. A teenage girl and her little brother." Liz knew that was the arrangement they had when they lived with their parents, but maybe Shirley had a bedroom for each of them. It wouldn't look good for them and there was no way they could afford a bigger house- even this was pushing it sometimes.

He deflated a bit knowing it wasn't ideal. "Emily goes to a grief group, we take them on trips, they have everything they want."

"Emily used to go to a grief group and we took them on one trip…" The corner of her lip tugged up, she knew this was going to irritate him but if he couldn't take it from her how was he going to take it from a judge.

"Why are you being so difficult ?" He scowled unable to resist the buttons she was pushing.

Liz laughed running hand through her hair. "These are the questions the court is going to ask, Bosco. The things Shirley Yokas already has clocked and written down." He was quiet strewing over that and knowing damn well she was right.

"We love them and we would do anything for them. That's all material shit, it's not important." She stared at the computer screen not saying anything although it was clear something else was on her mind. Reaching over he took her hand in his forcing her to look at him. "Hey don't start keeping secrets now…"

"They're also going to look at us, Bosco." She met his eyes knowing this wasn't pleasant to hear. "There's you- a once disgraced cop who pulled a gun on a doctor, went to Riker's, and has nightmares from 9/11…" He opened his mouth to protest although he had to admit she'd gone easier than a judge would. "And then there's me- a former undercover with connections to some very bad people, no family, and fresh off a cancer diagnosis…oh yeah and let's not forget nearly raped once."

"That's none of their business." She knew he was talking about the rape. Liz shrugged looking back at her computer screen.

"It's in the official report. If Shirley Yokas's lawyer is worth a shit they'll find it…." She met his gaze. "And use it to their benefit."

Bosco was quiet thinking it over before an uncharacteristically logical reply. "We can't change who we are, or the things we've done…the things we've been through."

She looked at him knowing he was right as she sighed. "I know. I just don't want to screw this up for you with any of my shit."

He laughed like she was stupid beyond belief, "Liz, you are the best part of me. If not for you I I wouldn't have a chance in hell.." She smiled sadly before closing the laptop and following him back to bed.

Emily had forgotten how much Charlie squirmed around while he slept. Twice already she put him back where he belonged turning over on her side and praying she would fall asleep for a just a little while. She missed her bed, she missed the dogs, and she missed Bosco. Over the last couple weeks living with Grandma Shirley it dawned on her that she loved her mother's old partner. Not weird and like that- shame on anyone for even thinking it- but she loved him and Liz like she once loved her own parents. Emily realized she always loved Bosco, even when her parents were alive, and her mother would bring him over the house while they were on shift. Beyond her immediate family there was no one she was ever closer to.

She hated this, living here with Grandma Shirley and being her servant for lack of a better word. While she doted over Grandpa Joe feeding him three meals a day, Emily was left to look after her brother and see to anything he might need. Her back ached from pulling Grandpa Joe up in bed over and over, why the man couldn't stay where they put him she would never know. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath hoping sleep would come.

"Emily !" Her eyes instantly snapped open. "Emily I need your help !" It was almost one in the morning. Throwing the covers back Charlie intuitively rolled to the middle of the bed taking up as much space as possible as he sighed, at least someone was getting some sleep.

Trepidation began to build in the pit of her stomach. Her grandmother sounded frantic and she could hardly imagine what this was about. The lights were low in the room but even so she could see- and smell- the mess. Diarrhea all over the bed and Grandpa Joe, him laying there moaning, and Grandma Shirley in her nightgown with oversized lunch lady gloves. She couldn't actually maker her help clean him up…this was disgusting.

"Here…" A pair of gloves were launched her way as Emily gagged the smell so potent and rotten had her stomach been full it would have emptied on the floor. "Breath through your mouth if you can't handle it."

It was said like a fifteen should be able to handle this. Everything in her wanted to run, but then she remembered she had no where to go. This was her life right now, and if Bosco didn't find a way to fix it this would be her life forever. The gloves barely stayed on her hands but it didn't matter, Grandma Shirley tossing her a wash cloth and demanding they get down to business.

"There's just so much of it…Something didn't agree with you, Joe !" Emily blinked back tears holding him over as Grandma Shirley mopped up his rear. "Bring him back now." It was in the back, the front, and all over the bed. Quickly overwhelmed she snapped, "God Dammit !" Handing Emily a fresh cloth she pointed at his shit smeared front. "Help me clean him off." Emily's hands were shaking, there was no way she was going to touch her grandfather there- forget the mess and the unholy smell tickling the back of her throat.

"I can't do it." There- she said it. Imagining her mother here right now telling Grandma Shirley to go fuck herself. Any time her mother in law tried to say something about the kids or the house, or worse yet her marriage; Faith told her to mind her own goddamn business. Grandma Shirley huffed shaking her head.

"Well I can't do it by myself." Emily was the verge of a panic attack. Fundamentally afraid that she could throw them out in the middle of the night, she close her eyes moving the rag back and forth not thinking of what she was doing. Under her breathing muttering.

'Please hurry, Bosco.'

He had about a hundred other things he'd rather do than go out on patrol, but like he said they couldn't change who they were. It was hot again, the middle of July now, and he couldn't stop wondering what would happen with the kids going to school if this issue wasn't settled by the end of summer. Had Emily and Charlie wanted to stay in their old school they would have gladly driven them back and forth, but they both seemed happy transferring to a school in Pelham. For Emily he suspected it was because TJ also went to Pelham High School. Now it didn't really matter.

Bosco's eyes flicked toward the passenger seat. It was amazing how quickly he could go down the rabbit hole if he let himself. Liz stared out the passenger window silently letting her eyes rove over the street. The meeting with the lawyer hadn't gone so well and just as they predicted their biggest faults weren't the size of their house or how much they loved the kids. Their jobs -and lives- were unpredictable, dangerous even, and they had serious baggage- both of them. Naturally he'd supplied a few choice words; these people acted like cops were unfit parents. He saw what passed for parents out there, not like he could ever do any worse.

Had Faith- or Fred- had a will dictating the custody of the children that would have been different and provided the home they wished was stable it would be no contest. Immediately Bosco's mind went to Faith's letter, the one she left in her locker that he didn't find until months later, it wasn't legal but it certainly dictated her wishes for him to be there. The lawyer smiled and nodded humoring him but ultimately saying it wasn't enough. They were good people and they loved those kids. Why was this so difficult ?

"55- David report of Petty Theft 101 North Lexington on the two." Bosco scowled shaking his head. A kid stealing CDs from the fucking record store. Just what he wanted to do right now. Growling he flipped on the lights.

"Come on…" Without a word, Liz reached over and squeezed his hand. If they fell apart now it would serve no one, least of all Emily and Charlie. This was hard; probably harder than anything they'd ever done but if they stuck together they would get through it.

He exhaled, his shoulders dropping as he squeezed her hand back. What would he do without this woman beside him ? "I know….I know." He whispered back letting her know he heard the message. Just get through this call and then this shift, this day and this week; stay the course and everything would work out for the best.

Rolling up two kids darted out in front of them a stack of CDs in hand as Liz threw her door open "Let me out." He stopped instantly wishing he'd let her drive not liking it when she took off after someone by herself. Wasn't that she couldn't handle herself, nothing could be farther from the truth, he just didn't like not being there to back her up. Darting through traffic she chased the kid heading north while he slammed the RMP into park chasing the other heading south. He'd done this before, with Faith, that labor day weekend the year before she died when she was pregnant and hadn't yet told Fred. Chasing little pricks through traffic over stolen music, he didn't even see the need anymore, you could now steal as much music as you wanted online.

Reaching out Bosco grabbed the back of the kid's shirt throwing him against the building as the stack of CDs scattered and broke on the sidewalk. The kid yelped in surprise but after realizing he was caught immediately began to cry. Cuffing him up Bosco shook his head, "There's no crying…" which only made the kid cry more. Dragging him back toward the RMP Bosco felt his entire body start to tingle as he saw his wife coming toward him holding her neck. She had a few CDs in the other as it was obvious the kid she'd been chasing had gotten away.

Bosco slammed the kid into the side of the car as he look at her with obvious concern. "What happened ?"

There was fear in her eyes. "He hit me with one of these." Had she tried to make it happen again she would have never been able to, the plastic case whipped backward right into the front of the her neck. Leaning forward she coughed- hard- a splatter of blood hitting the street.

TBC….