"Gun Hill Road"
Author: carmen_085
Disclaimer: I don't own any Third Watch characters. All original characters in this belong to me
Summary: In the years following 9/11 Bosco and Liz struggle with health issues and emotional trauma. But when Fred dies suddenly, Faith's children have no where to go. Can Bosco and Liz keep their own demons at bay and give Emily and Charlie a good life? (Sequel to "Last Exit to Brooklyn")
Chapter Twelve
Bosco wasn't sure how fast he drove but he knew they made it to Mercy in record time. Liz didn't say a word about it and held her neck with that god awful terrified look in her eyes. Giving the kid he'd caught a kick in the ass, he sped off having far bigger things to worry about. It was a fluke-that's what he kept telling himself- a one in a million accident that no one could have saw coming. The force of the blow probably popped a stitch open inside, she only had surgery a couple months ago. Shaking his head he looked around the empty nurse's lounge. It wasn't going to be that easily explained and deep in his gut he knew that.
"Bosco…" Proctor appeared in the door and he was instantly on his feet. "You can come back now." Adjusting her gun belt on his shoulder he followed Mary toward a room off to the side. Thank God it was no where near the trauma rooms or that little green exam room near the back, or the room full of curtains off to the right; Christ give him enough time and he'd need to find a whole new ER. A bad memory around every corner here. He closed his eyes, today wasn't going to be that. It was nothing- he was sure of it.
He came to a screeching halt in the door of her room. Her uniform shirt, vest, and t-shirt laid across the chair, and she in the stretcher wearing a gown with stricken look on her face. Next to the bed was Dr. Flanagan, the cancer doctor, and one of the ER doctors. This was his wife and for no other reason beside that he forced himself to walk in there and sit down on the edge of the bed immediately taking her hand in his. Had it been anyone else he might have run straight out the door unable to handle one more thing going wrong.
"Mrs. Boscorelli, Mr. Boscorelli….the ct scan shows bleeding from a nodule where the thyroid used to be."
The room was quiet as they blankly stared back at the doctors. "What does that mean ?" Liz asked, her voice suddenly raspy and quiet.
Dr. Flanagan spoke first, "We would need to reopen the incision and remove it, to be safe." Bosco cut in before she could form a single word.
"I thought you said you got it all the first time." His tone was more than accusatory and he didn't care.
Squeezing Bosco's hand she exhaled slowly letting him know they both needed to calm down. "But I just got hit with a CD how could this happen ?" They both shrugged.
"It was more than likely a coincidence. Perhaps a fortunate one if it means we're catching this early again." Liz nodded digesting that information as Bosco sat strung tight next to her.
"So you screwed up the first time and didn't get it all ?" He wasn't just going to let it go. These bastards acted like they knew everything until they didn't and then they stood there with a stupid look on their face. Dr. Flannagan pursed his lips.
"We're going to admit you for a couple days; take that node out and keep an eye on you.." He tapped the folder on the table letting them know their fifteen minutes was over. Liz wasn't sure if she was annoyed or impressed that he decided to curtly ignore Bosco.
"Ok." She swallowed hard, if this was what they needed to her to do then she would do it. Cancer wasn't exactly something to be fucked around with and she knew she'd been lucky once and now possibly twice. They left without another word, Bosco watching them go with a scowl on his face.
No sooner had the door closed, he turned to her. "That bastard. Said he he got it all and now it's like whoops…" He shook his head. "Left a little guy behind let's go back in and get…"
He stopped realizing that she was crying. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders he pulled her into him kissing the top of her head. "Sorry, I was being an ass." She shook her head.
"I'm scared, Bosco. I'm so, so scared." She cried into his shoulder. "This can't be happening again." It killed him to see her like this, the strongest, most kick ass woman- person- he'd ever met scared and crying. All because of one stupid day, a day that should have never happened but did.
As Bosco drove north he knew this was a bad idea. He should have called first or even asked permission, that thought making his stomach churn, but he didn't knowing absolutely this was what they both needed to feel better. Besides if he was there in the flesh it might harder for Shirley Yokas to tell him no.
White Plains was only about a twenty minute drive from his house but it felt like another universe. Everything about it was quaint and suburban, and he hated it all. The kids didn't belong here, they'd been raised in the city and that was where their life was. He bit his lip, this wasn't about that- at least not today- he was driving up here to check on them and hopefully bring them back to the hospital. The node in Liz's neck hadn't been 'encouraging' according to the brain trust in the hospital. While he hated to leave her side he knew if he sat there any longer he might pull his gun on a doctor, again.
The Yokas residence was what he expected, a simple two story house with a modest front porch and an access ramp around the back. He brought the Explorer to a stop at the curb. Pulling a cap down to cover his blood shot eyes, Bosco wouldn't tell a soul that after he left Liz at the hospital last night he came home to an empty house and cried. Never…he'd never had anything good in his life and then one day he had everything; a whole family. It seemed almost too good to be true and as he sat alone with a dog on each side he wondered if this was it. If this was the beginning of the end, when he would look back and say yep that's when I lost it all.
"Uncle B !" Charlie bolted from the house and down the stairs flinging himself forward. Instantly Bosco picked him up hugging the boy tightly and kissing him on the side of the face before putting him down. "Emily !" The girl appeared in the door next seeing Bosco as a smile of both relief and sadness spread across her face. Taking the stairs in one leap she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on.
"Bosco…" He didn't miss the way her voice broke and he wasted no time wrapping his arms around her as she closed her eyes and inhaled his familiar scent. Tears pricked the back of her eyes, and a part of her wished he was here to take them home. It had been two weeks, two long weeks of doing things she never thought she would ever have to do. She let go of him reluctantly forcing a smile so he didn't know just how fucked up everything really was.
"Can we help you, sir ?" Shirley Yokas stood behind them on the porch, hands on her hips.
Bosco cleared his throat knowing that pissing her off would not get him what he wanted. "Yes ma'am I was wondering if I could take the kids down to the city with me for the afternoon." Immediately she began to shake her head probably worried he would try to kidnap them for good. Quickly he added, "My wife is in the hospital and she would love to see them." Instead of a flat out refusal Shirley just stared. It wasn't like she didn't know where he lived or worked, and where the fuck was he going to go with Liz in the hospital.
"Please…Please Grandma can we go see LJ ?" She eyed Charlie before flicking her wrist watch up.
"Ok. But they have to be back here by five for dinner and evening chores." Emily wanted to scream. Chores were putting toys away or making the bed, not cleaning an old man's ass. She kept her mouth clamped shut not wanting anything to ruin her chances to get out of here.
"Of course I'll have them back." Bosco averted his eyes afraid that she might see the blazing hatred behind them.
"Alright then." She looked own at Charlie without any shoes on. "Charles come inside and get your shoes." Excited to go he scampered up the steps as Grandma Shirley yelled after him. "No running in the house young man !"
Bosco bit his tongue wanting to tell the old bitch the kids were supposed to run in the house. "Is LJ ok ?" Emily turned to him. Could he say no ? Well yeah of course he could but what good would that do. When he left this hospital this morning, Liz made him promise to at least try and stay positive. She's seen his blood shot eyes and half shaven face and knew how he'd spent his night.
"She's fine. Just a complication from the surgery." Emily thought that over figuring it was an infection or maybe a blood clot; she'd heard of both before although not in someone was young and healthy as Liz. Charlie dashed back out of the house and together the three of them climbed into the Explorer happy to just be together again.
Liz stared out the window the ghost of a smile on her lips. She was worried about Bosco, he looked like shit this morning, and she knew how quickly he could go down a rabbit hole. Not like she was a while hell of a lot better off right now sitting here thinking the worst of everything.
When he came back through the door with the kids in tow she couldn't stop the silly smile from spreading across her face. A rather elaborate dressing secured to her neck, she thought maybe they would be scared by the sudden change in her, but just the opposite. Charlie immediately jumped into the bed hugging her tightly while Emily sat on the other side doing the same. Bosco wanted to warn them to be careful with her but one look at Liz and the smile on her face told him to just let it be. Again Charlie found his way into her lap wanting to be held. He could hardly imagine Shirley Yokas holding him like that.
The visit was full of laughter and some tears when it came time too say good bye. Liz would have to spend two nights just as precaution, and she was quick to discourage Bosco from coming back after he dropped the kids off. He needed to get some rest, she was fine here and this whole mess would be over before they knew it, or at least that's what she kept telling herself. Before Brooklyn and 9/11, before Bosco and the little house in Pelham; she never imagined herself having a family. A husband maybe but never kids and dogs and a house with a yard. Now she couldn't imagine her life without it. Closing her eyes and willing herself not to cry she couldn't help but to feel the deck was nearly always stacked against them.
Bosco snuck a glance at Emily as he drove them back north toward White Plains. She hadn't said much since they left the hospital with Charlie almost immediately falling asleep across the back seat. Neither of them were sleeping great was all she said before falling silent again. Emily hated lying to Bosco, not because she was sure he could see right through it but also because he didn't deserve it. He also didn't need to be worrying about them when he clearly had other problems that needed his attention. It wasn't like Grandma Shirley was abusing them or anything, it just wasn't great. Emily sighed, maybe that's how life was meant to be when both of your parents were dead.
Three turns off the interstate and they were back in the neighborhood that was supposed to be her home. Part of her wanted to tell him to keep driving, take them anywhere just not back there. Another part of her knew that was silly, stupid even, and the last thing they needed was to piss Grandma Shirley off. That was why she gasped when he hit the brakes and put the Explorer in park almost three full blocks away.
Eyes flicking to the back seat, Bosco made sure Charlie was still deeply asleep before speaking. "What's going on, Em ?" She looked at him confused for a moment. Softening his face he nodded reassuringly, "It's alright, I can handle it." She wasn't sure if it was the way he was looking at her or the gentle concern in his voice, either way she came undone quickly breaking down into tears.
"It's awful, Bosco, the things she's made me do. I miss you and LJ so much…" Gently he put his arm around her pulling he toward him over the console as she cried into his chest.
"It's ok, Em. You can always talk to me, ok ?" She nodded trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid waking Charlie up. Still she didn't hold back telling him everything in between gasps. From the bed they were forced to share and sitting on the living room floor to being awakened in the middle of the night to help care for her grandfather. Bosco had to force himself not to react when she told him about the diarrhea and touching an old man's dick even after she said she didn't want to. Of course she didn't say it like that, but he knew damn fucking well what she meant and it made his blood boil. The more Emily told him, the more he became absolutely convinced the old bitch moved them in to be her servants. Not so much Charlie, but certainly Emily pressed into service before her bags were even unpacked. If he hadn't been through so much in his life and didn't care about the consequences of half cocked actions he would have turned right back around and taken them home- to his home. That would really fuck things up though and good reason or not, the judge would see him as a loose canon- someone wholly unfit to parent two kids.
He swallowed hard staring out the window as he rubbed his hand across Emily's back. He needed to fix this- right fucking now. Kissing the top of Emily's head he sat her back up knowing it was a couple minutes past five and he'd be damned to give Shirley Yokas anything to hold against them. "I have to take you back, honey." She wiped her eyes nodding and knowing he was right. "But listen to me." Gently he turned her face, "If you ever need anything, want to talk, or she tries to make you do something you don't want to do call me. I'll be here anytime, day or night." The corners of her lips turned up slightly.
"Thanks Bosco. I know you will." He blinked looking down and back again. For a second he thought he heard Faith's voice. And maybe he did- Emily's willingness to always see the good in him reminding him of her mother more than she could ever know.
Putting the car back into gear they pulled up in front of the Yokas house at five minutes after. If the old bitch had something to say he would tell her they hit traffic, oh yeah and to fuck off. She was no where to be found though and as Emily gently woke Charlie they both slipped from the Explorer, Charlie waving as he drove away. Pointing the car back toward the city Bosco tightened his grip on the wheel as the anger began to build.
The bar was dimly lit and smokey, poker machines in the corner with a few regulars hunkered down in front of them. She wiped a glass as her eyes wandered to the booth near the back. She didn't see him much these days having his own life and all, but he still made it a point to call every Sunday just to make sure she was alright. Throwing the towel on the bar she knew something had to be wrong if he was here.
"Maurice…" Bosco looked up, his mother standing over him. He just wanted to be left alone, drink a few beers and forget everything for a couple hours. He tried to play it straight; went home took care of the dogs, ate something, and got a shower. Laying in bed he knew he should at least try to get some sleep, but tossing and turning he couldn't relax. Emily's words replaying over and over in his mind he found himself in the backyard planting his fist into the picnic table until it ached and throbbed.
He got in the car and started to drive having no real destination in mind. Call it intuition or old habit he found himself back in Queens falling into old ways he swore he would never do again. Bosco could claim he wanted to be alone right now, but he knew that was a load of shit. So looking up at his mother he forced a smile nodding to the seat across from him, "Ma.."
She slid in without further ado folding her hands. "What's wrong ?" Never one to mince words she got right to it. He let out a laugh shaking his head.
"There's the statement of our family. I want to see you so something must be wrong." A long swig of beer slid down the back of his throat. Rose laughed shaking her head.
"If you want to talk to me instead of your wife something must be wrong." Bosco eyed her, he would never say it but sometimes he thought she was jealous of him. That he found a wife whom he loved and they had an actual marriage. It was something she herself was never really capable of, going boyfriend to boyfriend once his father split.
He shrugged, "She's in the hospital." He met her eyes seeing the quip she had ready die on her lips, "The cancer's back."
"Is she going to be alright ?" Bosco shrugged again, maybe the alcohol was loosening him up because he knew damn well he couldn't be this casual sober. Even the thought of Liz having cancer made him want to choke.
"I guess." She pursed her lips nodding and knowing he would say nothing more where that was concerned.
"How are the kids ?" One of the better things about her son's life were Faith's kids and since their poor father died suddenly she knew he'd taken them in. She was proud of that, and she knew how much they meant to him.
"Gone." He said it like it was an obvious fact, and maybe it was. God knows he'd never be in a place like this if they were at home.
"Gone ? What do you mean gone ?" He exhaled deeply. If it was anyone but his mother he would be done talking right about now.
"Fred's mother came and took them, filed a temporary custody arrangement." She stared at him knowing her son well enough to know he was barely keeping it together.
"Well why can't you do the same ? You and Liz have a nice home." He looked at her like she was stupid.
"Because she's their grandmother and I'm nobody." Downing the rest of his beer in one gulp and reaching for the next he sagged, "Their mother's old co worker. What the fuck is that ?"
He knew he was much more than that and when he got into these moods, so down on himself, she knew there wasn't much she could say to change his mind. Studying him for a moment she pushed the bottles away and laid a hand over his. "Come on. You'll spend the night at my place."
The sky was blue and he was sweating. On his shoulder the radio crackled non stop maydays, what the hell were they going to do about this ? He stopped looking right to left, people running in every direction. Where was he going? What was he doing ? He tried to move but he just couldn't figure it out. Frozen in place his eyes wandered up the side of the building to that gaping black hole. Black and white, gray and navy, and then orange and khaki, someone was waving a handkerchief. They looked in and out, back and forth, and then one by one they let go. Each falling through the sky like a piece of paper fluttering downward with ferocious speed. When they hit it sounded like a bag of cement with a sharp crack on the ground. One and then another, he blinked and someone orange streaked past him hitting the ground and splattering his face with blood. Opening his mouth he tried to scream but nothing came out…
Bosco sat straight up gasping. It took him a moment to figure out where he was looking around his old bedroom. His heart was pounding as he rested his head in his hands trying to catch his breath. Anxiety- it was always there, swirling around just beneath the surface, ready to bring him to his knees at a moment's notice. Taking a few deep breaths he tried to calm himself down.
His mother opened the window and seeing it made a whole new wave of tension come over him. Getting up he slammed it shut and despite being almost eighty degrees he began to shake. All those nights, his father tapping on this very same window and he like an idiot letting him right on in. He rested his forehead on the glass his hands coming to tight little fists. He had to get out of here.
Down the stairs he paused for a moment catching sight of his mother standing in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. "Ma !" She jumped before a sheepish smile spread across her face.
"Maurice, I didn't expect you up this early…" He glanced at the clock, it was a little past seven. She laughed shrugging her shoulders, "Just a little hair of the dog."
It was news to him that she drank like this, needing an eye opener to keep her hands steady. Another thing he could put in the totally fucked up category finding his keys right on the table where he left them.
"I have to get down to the hospital." She looked like she might say something but then thought better of it nodding silently. "I'll call you."
"Don't be so hard on yourself Maurice. Everything can't work out the way you want." He stopped at the door. She said it so casually, like he was auditioning for a dance troupe. Exhaling he felt his heart began to pound all over again. Something about her and this house making him feel like a helpless kid all over again. He had to get out here.
An hour later he was jamming the button for the elevator at Mercy. Nobody knew about Liz yet, her decision, and he intended to keep it that way. They were due back at work this afternoon, but he'd called into the boss and told him she was sick, he would be riding alone today. Bosco would have called before leaving his Ma's but she was downstairs having the biopsy early this morning. Watching the floors light up he felt the anticipation build. He couldn't wait to get in there and tell her everything. About Emily and Charlie, about that bitch Shirley Yokas, about his Ma putting whiskey in her coffee; Liz was the first person who ever made him want to talk about everything. Big or small he wasn't content until he told her.
"Hey you're not going to…." The words died on his lips the second he rounded the corner. She was asleep in bed looking paler and more fragile than he'd ever seen her before. It took his breath away seeing her like that. She was fine last week- looking and feeling better than she had in a long time. How could this happen ?
He moved through the room quietly pulling a chair up to the bed and taking her hand in his. The anesthesia hadn't totally worn off yet and sensing him there her eyes fluttered open. "Bos…" Her voice was barely above a whisper exhaling deeply knowing he was here with her. Anything he wanted to say died on his lips. This was his person and right now she couldn't be there for him. When he needed her so badly, it broke his heart that she could do nothing.
"Rest…ok. Just rest."
He was being selfish that he knew. She needed him right now not the other way around. And he would be strong for her- he had to be- but at the same time he couldn't deny it hurt. Everything they had, their entire existence together, was based on the open honesty and love they shared. Take that away, even for a moment, and Bosco felt like he couldn't breath.
He sat there for an hour urging her to sleep every time she tried to force herself awake for him. Even half doped up on anesthetic she must have known that something wasn't right. Eventually he realized being here wasn't helping her and bending down to kiss the side of her face he assured her that he'd stop back later, on the shift. He needed to do something- to fix something- if that was even possible at this point. Jamming the elevator button again he already knew this was a bad idea.
He went home for a while, took a shower, put some eyes drops in, and shaved the mess off his face. The dogs were happy to see him and he took them for a walk, fed them, and played catch in the backyard; the house overwhelming lonely. Bosco packed his bag for work and before he could think about it anymore he was back in the Explorer headed toward Long Island.
Valley Stream was a suburb just south of Queens, hard working people with small houses and even smaller yards. He tried to talk his Ma into moving there more than once, seeing obvious benefits in getting her away from the old neighborhood. She always laughed though and rolled her eyes before lighting another cigarette. She didn't want to change and eventually he just had to accept that.
He didn't call like he knew he should have, afraid the woman on the other end of the line would tell him to get fucked. Instead he stopped at the precinct, running Tom Kelly's name through the system and getting the information he needed in a less above board way. Bringing the Explorer to a stop outside the house he exhaled, his stomach immediately dropping. It was empty, no curtains on the windows, and a 'For Sale' sign in the front yard. He checked the address he scribbled down again making sure he hadn't mixed anything up. This was it, though, and as he got out of the car he wandered up to the door peering through the window.
"You looking to buy the place ?" A woman about his age stood on the porch next door, kids screaming somewhere inside her house.
Bosco shook his head, "No I was looking for Anne Kelly." She crossed her arms over her chest like she was suddenly cold.
"She's gone, took the kids and moved in with her sister in Florida." Bosco couldn't hide his immediate disappointment and as he stepped off the porch he shook his head. He shouldn't have come here without calling, it was stupid and this was clearly what he deserved for doing it. "Why are you looking for her anyway ?"
Fuck it. Could this day get any worse ? "I thought maybe I had information about her husband, Tom." The woman stared at him like he was stupid.
"Tom? They found him last year." Bosco stopped and cocked his head at her.
"What do you mean, found him ?" The lady looked around not entirely comfortable with broadcasting her neighbor's business for the whole block to hear. Coming to stand in front of him she lowered her voice.
"He lied to Anne. Said he was going to work but went straight to the airport and got on a plane to California. He had a mistress out there, in San Francisco, by the time he landed everything was done." She exhaled shaking her head still not quite able to believe it. "Let Anne believe he was dead in the building. Poor woman looked for him, put up those fliers, went to the meetings." She met his eyes shrugging, "And then last year he turns up alive and well. It destroyed her, she had to leave the city."
What the fuck. What in the actual fuck ?
Bosco nodded his thanks skirting around the information he had since it clearly didn't apply. Regretting that he wasted this time on such a shitty human being, he got back in the Explorer and headed toward the 55 feeling even worse than before.
TBC….
A chapter or so of Bosco unravelling because I can't help myself
Hello all readers who are still hanging onto this story. I've edited and cleaned the fist eight chapter and now thanks to the ROKU channel never ending TW reruns I've continued on planning to complete this in 5 or so more chapters.