"You need to rest up. For real this time." The Devil finally spoke. Charlie had destroyed the clocktower. The countdown to the Exterminations permanently halted. A part of Lucifer was still struggling to believe it. Despite having Michael right beside him, reassuring him that the Exterminations were never supposed to be- it felt unreal to watch the tower go up in a burst of infernal flame. Lucifer wouldn't lie; it felt... nice. His crimson and gold eyes flickered to Michael, who was sitting on the floor beside the puppet and Neo. Lysander was in a chair. (Lucifer really should invest in more chairs. It wasn't as if he had a great need for them after Lilith had left and he dismissed the rest of the staff. There wasn't exactly a lot of "hanging out" time even after he had hired Lysander and made Syn. Not that he would admit it, but having Adam around had changed things. He couldn't be as distant and isolated as he once was. He had to keep an eye on the First Man and if that meant he spent time with his employees and got to know them on a personal level... then so be it.)
"You're about to invite the entire goddamn hotel over, and you expect me to be resting?" Adam raised an eyebrow, his head not moving from Lucifer's lap. "I gotta clean, cook, make sure the rooms are ready- you may be fine with having everyone know that you are a complete and total disaster, but I have standards."
"You," Lucifer repeated the word back at him as his head rested on the top of Adam's head, "need to get your ass in bed."
"I have shit to do, fucker." Adam protested.
"Nonsense, Adam!" The Muppet reached over, putting a stuffed hand on the side of Adam's face. "You are far too weak and pathetic right now! You must rest, rejuvenate that awful personality of yours!" Lucifer knocked the felt hand away. If anyone was going to fuck with Adam, it would be him.
"Shut the fuck up. You don't get an opinion. You're a puppet."
"You are the puppet, in fact." The puppet retorted, holding its hand to its chest in indignation. "But as the master of the house, I will excuse your insolence. Adam needs my immediate attention."
"I don't need anyone's attention!" Beneath the pallid skin on the paper-white side of Adam's face, the Devil could see a faint tint of gold.
"Rest." Neo leaned over the back of the couch to pat Adam on the top of his head. "Sick." Adam didn't swat Neo away as he did with everyone else, most likely out of concern that he might break the duplicate.
"Thank you for the concern, Neo, but I'm actually amazing right now. Did you see the pancakes I made? Not to brag, but they got the princess through that whole bullshit speech."
"Charlie's speech was incredible; shut your ignorant, human mouth." Lucifer put a hand beneath Adam's chin and pressed his mouth closed. "Also, you made waffles, not pancakes."
"Did I?" Adam blinked.
"They were very yummy!" Syn would have agreed with Lucifer regardless of the truth; however, in this case the Devil was being honest. He was a bit worried about Adam pushing himself too hard; not remembering what he had cooked only hours before wasn't exactly a great sign.
"That's it, you're going to bed." Lucifer lifted Adam up in his arms as he stood. "You're getting senile in your old age, old man." He laughed, keeping things light around the palace staff to hide the genuine concern in his voice.
"You're older than me." Adam tried to struggle free of his grip; his wings popped out, and the Devil got a face full of feathers. "Put me down, asshat!" Even if Adam was at full power, his strength was nothing compared to that of an Archangel. So, Lucifer was able to hold firm despite Adam's attempts to get free. (It was like holding a rather angry, wiggling cat. Only, less cute because it was Adam.) Lucifer spit out some of the white feathers that had gotten in his mouth.
"No."
"Lysander!" Adam turned to the intern for help. "You have to help me!" Lysander looked around for a moment before finally meeting Adam's gaze.
"I know you're not talking to me, mate. I'm not going against the boss. I like my job way too much."
"Adam is being abducted! Bye Adam!"
"Neo!" Adam must have been desperate if he thought the copy would stand any chance against the Devil himself. Neo looked a little torn as he watched the struggle unfold before him.
"Now Adam," the puppet shook his head at the First Man's desperate pleas. "Don't bring Neo into this. He's a free agent, no longer bound by your orders, thanks to my immense and unstoppable power. You know I'm single handedly responsible for about ninety percent of the animals and plants in Eden, not to brag." As he spoke, the puppet put an arm around Neo's shoulders, tilting its stuffed head toward the doppelgänger. "You don't have to listen to him."
"Counterpoint," Lucifer sighed heavily, "you didn't make shit in Eden because you're a fucking puppet."
"You're the puppet," the puppet grumbled in annoyance, its eyes narrowing. Lucifer decided to ignore it as he continued.
"But seriously, Neo, you don't have to take shit from Adam. He doesn't control you because of... unforeseen circumstances." That was the nice way of saying: due to Michael's colossal fuck-up.
"... okay." At least Neo was agreeable. That was how Lucifer knew there was no real relation to the First Man. If Adam truly controlled Neo, even subconsciously, he would be a thousand times more intolerable.
"I think it will be best for you to rest." Michael finally spoke up. Lucifer wondered what had taken him so long to get involved. Adam was stubborn, sure, but he wasn't stupid- okay, he was kind of stupid- but still he wasn't foolish enough to argue with an Archangel. "After all, things are about to get hectic downstairs with the hotel residents staying here in the mansion- even if only temporarily. And with many of them wanting you dead, it would probably be easier if you took the time to relax."
"Ugh." Adam made a noise of obvious discontent, but he stopped struggling, and the wings drew into his back once again. "Fine. Whatever. I don't want to hang out with those losers anyway."
"That's the spirit!" Lysander gave Adam a thumbs-up. "They aren't as cool as we are. Except for the Princess, who is legally better than all of us."
"That's true." Lucifer and the puppet responded in almost identical tones. The Devil let his head drop in frustration at being basically copied by some cheap, felt, imitation. It was humiliating.
"What are you doing?" Adam spoke up as the Devil realized he had more or less face-planted into Adam's hair. Lucifer immediately straightened back up.
"I was regretting every decision I have ever made that led me to this exact point. But now that I'm done, I'm taking you upstairs to get rest."
"I'm not even tired." Adam, who had basically been on the brink of sleep before Lucifer had picked him up, let out a telling yawn.
"I can keep you company! I have many options for relaxing sounds I can play that can help you get some much-needed rest! Master used to ask for them all the time during his self-care regimen! May I recommend the Syn I'm Sad mix or the Lilith Come Back-"
"That's enough, Syn!" Lucifer felt his face heat up. He hadn't needed those playlists in months, as a matter of fact, and he didn't need to be reminded of the hours he spent wallowing in his own self-pity. He was the goddamn King of Hell. He had more important shit to do.
"There... there." Neo reached over and gave the king a pat on the top of his regal top hat. Lucifer didn't need empathy from a reflection.
"Those playlists were named ironically." The Devil wasn't sure why it mattered. It wasn't like anyone in the room had an opinion he cared about, but he still felt the overwhelming need to set the record straight. "How much longer till the Doctor gets here, Virgil?" And now that everyone understood the nuance of Lucifer's mental health, he could change the subject.
"Oh, he can come whenever. I just thought you might want to wait till the other guests arrived." If Michael believed Syn's obvious false story about Lucifer's depression, he didn't show it. (But then again, the Virgil persona was surprisingly difficult to read.)
"Very well, tell him to come over at his earliest convenience. He can check on this asshole first." The Devil nodded his head toward Adam. It would probably be for the best that he got checked out before things got crowded at the mansion. "Charlie shouldn't be too much longer. After I dump the dead weight here," another nod toward Adam in his arm, "I need to talk to you in my study." And with that, Lucifer turned to head toward the stairs.
"Of course, your majesty." The faintest hint of surprise crossed the stoic, mask-like face of Michael's Fallen disguise.
"You are expecting company, and you are planning for Quackers and Neo to be able to cater an entire meal? Have you lost your fucking mind?" Adam enjoyed cooking; there was no denying that, but the image Lucifer had in his head of the First Man always portrayed Adam as being lazy and uncaring. It was weird to see him so... diligent? Was that the word?
"No," Lucifer snorted, "I don't even know if Quackers will let Neo in the kitchen." He looked back at Neo. "Are you allowed in the kitchen?" He wasn't technically Adam, who had somehow swayed Quackers into some weird friendship. But he might be 'Adam enough'.
Neo shrugged.
"That's fine; no need to risk yourself unnecessarily. As King, your safety is my number one priority." The puppet patted Neo on the shoulder. "No employee of mine is getting hurt on the clock! Can you imagine how that would look? Get injured on your own time!"
"I always do, puppet-boss." Lysander was enjoying this more than Lucifer wanted. He would need to tell his employees to stop humoring the puppet.
"I'm not a puppet, young Warson; I am the King of Hell! And the King has plenty of options when it comes to food!" The felt fiend whipped the phone from his pocket, putting it against the side of his head. "Hello? Best chefs in Hell? It is I, your King! Hello? Are you there? The connection is a little rough. Hang on." The puppet waited for a moment before pulling the phone away and looking at it. "Ah! I see the problem! My phone is still a piece of cardboard! I will have to ask Vox to fix this while he's here."
"Well, he seems to have this handled." Adam looked rather amused by the puppet's antics. Lucifer sighed. In a weird way, the puppet was onto something. There really was one perfect solution that would assure Adam would stay put, and the guests would continue to be impressed by Lucifer's amazing life. Just because Lilith was gone, didn't mean that the Devil wasn't living the high life. Lucifer's phone floated up from his pocket and he tapped the screen to dial, before moving it against the side of his face, careful to keep it out of Adam's reach.
"What now?" There was an answer on the other line that came after a series of rings- almost as if the speaker had been debating about whether or not to answer.
"Hey Cain," Lucifer was careful to emphasize the name. He saw Adam struggle to try to sit up in his arms, so Lucifer simply held him more tightly. "Is that any way to answer for your King?"
"Cain's on the phone?" Adam was immediately focused on the Devil. "How is he? Tell him I love the plant he gave me. Ask him if he-" the First Man was cut off as Lucifer wrapped his tail over his mouth.
"Shh, I'm on the phone." The Devil smirked at him. Was it a great idea to put his tail in a position where he could get bit by Adam's Corrupted fangs? Maybe not. But Lucifer really didn't think the First Man would bite him. (Not that he trusted Adam or anything silly like that.) "Sorry about the interruption."
"Is that my dad?" Cain sounded amused, or maybe annoyed. It was hard to tell. The First Murderer seemed to be in a constant state of annoyance. "Funny. I thought you might have killed him after what he put Charlie through with that whole disappearing fiasco."
"It was tempting, but no. Your dad seems to really want to take himself out, if I'm being honest. He is a little under the weather at the moment, and I need him to sit his ass down and relax." Lucifer knew that if Cain was involved, Adam would be infinitely more cooperative. Was it manipulative? Probably. But he was the fucking Devil. There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone before Cain responded, his voice a little quieter than before.
"Is he... gonna be okay?"
"He's going to be fine if he listens." Lucifer assured him. It was nice to think that Cain still cared for Adam, despite his (literally) rocky exterior. (Not that the Devil cared about the Eden family drama, but it would simply make things easier in the long run if they got along.) "That's not the point. The point is that I'm expecting guests and he can't cook. So, I want you to cater a meal for my daughter and her friends."
"That's kinda last minute. Also, it's Extermination Day, and I don't wanna die... so... no." Cain was about the only Sinner who felt entitled to tell the Devil no.
"There are no Exterminations anymore. I ended them. There was a whole announcement about it. Charlie blew up the countdown clock. It was incredibly poetic. How did you miss that?" Lucifer also felt as if Cain already knew about the Exterminations having ended since Adam was, well... in Hell, and clearly would have texted Cain at some point about how he and Lucifer had told Sera to suck it. In fact, Lucifer was fairly certain he had told Cain the Exterminations had finished. In fact, he was pretty damn sure all the Overlords knew.
"You say that, but I literally saw Gabriel himself down here earlier swinging that staff of his around at some- admittedly tentacle-y - souls. And, you know, Michael has been around an awful lot. I don't feel like taking my chances, don't want my wings cut off, or my face stabbed."
"You don't even have wings." Now Lucifer knew that Cain was just being an ass. It seems that the forbidden apple did not fall far from the bitchy tree. "Now get your ass over, or I'm going to let Lysander take over as gardener for that beautiful garden you made me."
"Hurray! I have no idea how to garden!" Lysander piped up helpfully, clearly having heard his own name. Lucifer was fairly confident that a Hellborn raised in a frozen lake would have limited knowledge of tropical plants. (Also, he once heard Lysander ask Adam once if plants could drink Treacher-Tea, which was an energy drink.)
"You leave my pants out of this. They haven't done shit to you." Cain was easy to convince when the right stakes were laid out. Lucifer felt soft pressure on his back as he realized the puppet was now hanging over his back, the round head pressed on the other side of Lucifer's phone.
"Cain, my dear boy, glad you got my call! I was worried since my phone is actually just a very convincing picture. I need you to make a grand feast for my darling Apple-Palooza and all her little friends!"
"... what?" Cain finally spoke after a moment of silence in which Lucifer could perfectly envision the Son of Adam simply staring at the phone in disbelief.
"Ignore him, Cain. That's just a puppet." Lucifer let out a heavy sigh as he tried to roll his shoulder to knock the puppet from his back. This response was met by more confused silence on the other line before Cain finally seemed to find the words to respond.
"... what?" Or word as the case seemed to be. Oh well. Cain wasn't exactly the most eloquent of Sinners. He was known for bashing his brother's head in, not for speeches.
"Don't listen to the puppet!" The puppet interrupted once again. Lucifer had to choose between keeping Adam's mouth closed or using his tail to pull the puppet off of him. "I need you here to make my little apple-bottom the feast of a century to celebrate her amazing speech."
"Okay. I'm coming over." Cain finally managed to get something out of his mouth that wasn't just the word: what. "But solely to figure out what the absolute fuck is happening at your house."
"That's fair, as long as you get here. See you soon. Bye." Lucifer hung up the phone. He had finally decided that the puppet was worse than Adam as he unwrapped his tail and hooked it under the collar of the puppet's coat. He flung it off of him. Unfortunately, he didn't look in the direction in which he flung the fluff-brained monstrosity, and he ended up throwing it directly at Neo who had the reaction time of a slug. The puppet smacked him directly in the face and slid down to the floor. Only then did Neo lift his arms to make a catching motion. He looked down at the puppet, who was already picking himself back up, before lowering his arms again.
"...oops."
"Good catch, beautiful!" The puppet's eyes rolled around with the force of the movement as it fluidly sat back up, putting its hands on either of Neo's shoulders.
"Beautiful?" Lucifer blinked. Was the puppet being ironic? "Don't make fun of Neo like that. We're sixty percent sure that he has feelings."
"Shut the fuck up, you weird little troll." Adam retorted, his mouth now free of the black and red tail. "Neo is beautiful. He looks like me. And he definitely has feelings. But if you were trying to be funny, the number you should have used would have been sixty-nine."
"... ha..."
"See," Adam looked a little smug as Neo let out a quiet laugh. God, why did the clone have to get Adam's shitty sense of humor? "It's classic."
"Why is that funny?"
"Don't worry about it, Synnamon bun." It was almost funny how quickly Adam doubled back on his own words. He quickly turned to Lucifer, "why didn't you let me say bye to Cain!?"
"You'll see him soon. He is going to make dinner. Hopefully Quackers will let him in the fucking kitchen." Lucifer recalled that Cain had made Charlie dinner in the past, so it seemed probable.
"Quackers will tolerate Cain's presence if it is best for Adam just Adam."
"Tell Quackers to be nice to my son. I love him, and he's never done anything wrong in his whole life except for that one major thing that I try not to think about." Adam's reply definitely sounded rooted in a great deal of trauma that Lucifer did not have time to unpack. It wasn't like he was in any way tangentially responsible or anything like that. Cain made his own choices.
"Adam, take it easy." Michael stood, reaching out toward Adam in what Lucifer assumed was meant to be a comforting gesture, but the Devil blocked him with one of his wings. Michael tried to kill Adam after all; it would just be better if he didn't try to play nice now. For Adam.
"Oi, boss! Your wing!" Lysander looked briefly surprised. Lucifer sighed; he supposed he hadn't had his wings out much since the Shoggoth incident.
"You have new feathers!" Syn bumped against the outstretched wing, wiggling her way into the red feathers that were still peppered with the occasional golden intruder. The Devil really had been meaning to pluck all of the gold ones that had grown when his wing reformed. The stupid holy water had really taken a number on his beautiful wings.
"Yeah, side effect of the medication." Lucifer used the wing to push Michael back. "Now you all should be making sure that my mansion is up to par. I'm taking Adam upstairs. Virgil, remember: my office." The wing withdrew into Lucifer's back. He headed up the stairs to their bedroom, closing the door behind him with his tail before laying Adam out on the bed. "Now, can you stay fucking put for five goddamn minutes?"
"I think we both know that I am capable but unwilling." To Adam's credit, it seemed that he was at least self-aware. Lucifer sighed, raising his hand as he covered every metal surface in the room with red, plush carpeting. It looked horrendous but it had successfully destroyed any of the First Man's usual escape routes. Adam blinked. "What the actual fuck?"
"Seriously, you need to rest. If you hadn't been a dumb shit and followed me- and apparently made a whole-ass breakfast- you would be better by now." Not that Lucifer cared.
"You ran out so fast. You looked scared. I had to know what was happening." Adam was on the bed, sitting up, but at least he didn't seem to be trying to stand. Lucifer narrowed his eyes.
"Why? It didn't concern you."
"Bitch, it might have."
"But it didn't. And it certainly didn't require fucking waffles."
"I have never fucked a waffle."
"You know what I mean, asshole."
"Yeah... well..." Adam drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "I know that your magic needs fuel. I just thought, since you hadn't had breakfast... you might need an extra boost." His wings popped out, curling around his body as he put his head on his knees.
"... why?"
"For purely selfish reasons."
"... right. And for equally selfish reasons- in fact, probably more selfish- I don't want you getting worse." The Devil took a seat beside the First Man. "You need to take care of yourself. You're important, you know, to the mission. And if you go around being your typical, idiotic self, Cain will get all grumpy, and then he'll make it my problem."
"Cain doesn't care."
"Yes, he does. He's just... not great with people, or feelings, or anything that isn't plants." Lucifer had spent a great deal of time around Cain over the years since his death. Outside of Lilith and the other Fallens and Hellborns, Cain was the first bit of company the Devil had. Hell was still a bit of a new construct, and at the time Lucifer wasn't sure how many souls he would be getting, so the barriers between royalty and subjects were not as clear-cut as they were now. Cain ended up being more like a friend and confidant than a subject. He had many great opinions on the farmlands, despite not being able to visit Wrath himself, and he was able to cultivate even the nearly barren lands of Pride to produce more food. It had taken Lilith time to warm up to him, given he was the son of two people she hated, but while they were never close, Cain was always considered a welcome guest at the mansion. Lilith had her own set of confidants, and Lucifer had his. But with Azrael gone, Cain was about the only thing resembling a friend that Lucifer had left.
"You don't have to lie to me." Adam didn't bother peeking out from the wings wrapped around him. Lucifer reached over, touching the white feathers beside him.
"I'm not. I wouldn't waste a lie on you."
"That's fair."
"Cain does care. He asks about you."
"He does?"
"Yeah, but he doesn't want you to know he's asking because that's just how he is. He's not big on self-expression."
"Did he ever go to one of your self-care days?" Adam smirked; slowly the wings receded into his back once more.
"You know that Syn makes those sound sad and desperate, but really they were more like spa days." Some of them were. The ones after Lilith left were predominantly sad and desperate. However, that was none of Adam's business. "And yeah, once or twice he came by and joined me. I have some amazing masseuses on staff... or well... I did."
"But you kicked them all out because of your depressive spiral?"
"You're literally the one pouting on the bed right now. I don't think you have any fucking room to talk." Lucifer didn't need Adam knowing how right he was. It would give the First Man even more of an ego.
"I'm not pouting. I'm being contemplative and wistful."
"You are being neither of those things."
"You wouldn't know wistful if it came up and bit you on your nonexistent nose." Adam finally relaxed; he flopped backward onto the mattress, looking up at the ceiling. Lucifer followed his gaze. It reminded him of that night when they had both lain on the bed, and Adam had opened up to him about the memory loss, when Lucifer had turned the ceiling into a clear night sky. It made the Devil's heart skip a beat. He felt a faint heat on his face, most likely some sort of manifestation of his frustration. That made sense. Adam was a very frustrating man. Still... it might help Adam sleep if Lucifer made the room a little more inviting. He reached his hand up, and once again, the ceiling was replaced by a dark and peaceful sky, adorned with glittering diamonds of light, mimicking the beautiful stars that the Fallen Archangel had once spent years crafting behind the pearly gates of Heaven. "What are you doing?"
"If I pretend it's night, you might actually get some fucking rest."
"I'm not a fucking bird. You tried that shit with the blanket when I first got here. Remember?" Adam narrowed his eyes at the Devil. Lucifer did, in fact, recall throwing the blanket over Adam's head and telling him it was night.
"If only it had been that simple," the devil sighed, "but fine; if you don't think it'll help, I'll just change it back-"
"Let's not be hasty." Adam seemed to finally be relaxing, the mismatched eyes gazing up at the twinkling ceiling (though, Lucifer supposed only one eye could actually see it). "It might not help, but it's kinda nice."
"Try and rest up, will you, fucker? I need my chef back. If I make Cain do too much, he's going to start asking for shit in return." Lucifer got to his hooves as Adam seemed to finally be willing to rest. Having Cain around would help the First Man be held accountable for his actions. For once, Lucifer wasn't lying. Cain really cared about his dad. The Devil had seen it in every interaction since the First Sinner had learned of his father's condition.
"Get shit on." Adam yawned; he pulled the covers up over himself, nestling down into the pillow. Lucifer briefly thought he saw the stuffed panther that the Devil had won at Lu Lu World (and subsequently bequeathed to Adam) wrapped in his arms, but Adam rolled over, and Lucifer couldn't be sure he'd really seen it.
"Fuck you." The Devil smiled for a moment before leaving his room and closing the door behind him. He headed straight toward his office, where Michael was waiting patiently outside. "You could have just gone in, you know."
"You weren't in there; it felt rude." Michael hurried behind him as the Devil entered the office and closed the door behind him. The moment it clicked shut, Michael shed the Virgil disguise, and the Devil was once more face-to-face with his former twin. "You wanted to see me?" Michael was always so quick to change back.
"Does it hurt?" Lucifer took a seat behind his desk.
"Does... what hurt?"
"Being Virgil." The Devil realized that without the psychic connection that he no longer shared with his former siblings, it would be a little... impossible for Michael to follow his train of thought. "You just always seem so quick to get out of it. Does it hurt you? Not that I care, but we are supposed to be making you feel... well... better."
"No. It's not painful. It's just not me. It feels a little deceitful."
"Sometimes lies are good things, Mike."
"I suppose that's true. But... um..." Michael seemed a little hesitant. "You... you wanted to see me, right? Was that why?"
"Fuck no. Like I said, I don't actually give a shit. It was curiosity." Lucifer shuffled some papers on his desk. "I think it is time we discuss the current state of Hell with the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins. Don't you agree?"
"Yes, I think it is definitely a good idea to make them aware."
"Glad you agree." Lucifer couldn't shake the feeling that Michael felt as if he should have shared the news with the Sins earlier, but Hell was not Heaven. Information was power, and Lucifer needed to be sure that this sort of knowledge wouldn't be used to overthrow what little society they had. The hierarchy of Hell was a delicate balancing act. "Because" the Devil took a deep breath, he laid his palms flat on the desk before him.
"... because?" Michael repeated the word back at him. Lucifer had just stopped talking. For some reason, he was finding it very difficult to get the words he needed out of his mouth. He never thought he was going to be in this position, and looking at Michael with his blue wings and gold and blue halos... it felt... almost unreal. Lucifer remembered when he first hit the fragmented, dry wasteland of Hell, the blood still dripping from his back as he held Lilith in his arms, surrounded by those that Fell beside him... he had sworn never to even talk to the Archangel before him ever again.
"Because..." Some things were more important than Lucifer's personal grudges. He knew that, though it was killing him to admit it. "I want you to come with me. Of course, we'll give the option to Charlie as well- I can see her wanting to tag along." Lucifer needed to get her more involved with Hell's politics anyway. This was going to be her job one day.
"Of course." Michael nodded. "I will gladly attend. Is Virgil's normal outfit fancy enough? Or do I need something a little more-"
"No." Lucifer cut him off.
"Oh, well," Michael seemed taken aback by the abruptness of the answer. "I mean, that's fine. I can go shopping. Syn has been wanting to go with me-"
"Michael, shut up. You're not getting it." The Devil held up his hand and Michael fell silent once again. "Also: shopping? Really? You can make anything you want in the blink of an eye." Michael was quiet for a moment.
"A... am I allowed to talk yet?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, well, I just have a salary as Virgil, and it kinda seems wrong for me not to put that money back into Hell's economy because, you know, what am I going to do with it?"
"Syn pays you?"
"I mean... yeah? I'm an employee."
"How much are you getting paid?" Lucifer really needed to figure out exactly what calculations Syn was doing to decide on a salary for any of the employees, because outside of Lysander, Lucifer didn't recall any of the others having employment contracts (Adam had a soul-contract but that was entirely different.)
"I'm not... really sure? The amount seems kind of variable, and I'll be honest, I don't know if it's even a good salary because I've never really had to deal with finances. If you want the money back, I'll be happy to give it to you-"
"You know what? Shut up about the money." Lucifer took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. For some reason this was quite a struggle for him. Well, he knew the reason. "I want... no." He stopped himself, closing his eyes. For a moment, he was feeling as if his heart was going to pound out of his chest. He needed to relax. This had to be done. For Hell. For Charlie. "I want you to come with me, not as Virgil... but as Michael. The Sins will be more willing to listen and cooperate if they know that Heaven is on board."
"A..." Michael sounded hesitant, and who could blame him? The Devil had spent most of his time hiding the Archangel's presence as if it were some dirty secret- which, it kind of was. "Are you... sure?" Lucifer could slowly feel his heart starting to pound once again; his throat seemed to swell as if trying to trap the words inside.
"We have to approach this as a team. We want them to take this seriously, so..." he swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. "I... I need my brother." Despite how much he had thought over the words, they still felt strange coming from his mouth. He cracked open his eyes. Michael was staring at him, the halos starting to well up with silvery water, the paper-white hands covering his mouth. Lucifer immediately regretted everything he had just said. "Don't get all emotional, Blue; this isn't some family reunion. It's strictly business."
"R-right." Michael nodded, but the way the eyes in the halos looked at Lucifer, sparkling with the threat of tears, made the Devil sincerely doubt that Michael understood the nature of their next mission. "Of course!"
"Don't fucking cry; your tears count as holy water." Lucifer made a face, the regret heavy but somehow not as crushing as he was expecting. "If you make this weird, I'm not going to take you with me."
"I thought you needed me."
"I can make another puppet. The Sins won't be able to tell the difference. It's not like they've fucking met you."
"What if the puppet becomes sentient?"
"Fuck." Lucifer put his face in his hands for a moment. "Good point." He looked back up, pointing a glove-covered, clawed finger toward the archangel. "You really need to stop doing that. I know it's unintentional, but it's fucking annoying."
"I'll... try my best." Michael was smiling, and the Devil was sinking further into his own regret. "Hey, um... do I need to change my outfit? I have more formal armor, or should I wear a suit like you? What do you think is best?"
"I think you look equally stupid in everything, but maybe if you wear something a little more intimidating than a sweater vest, it might help."
"I could wear the helmet-"
"Don't wear the helmet. It's really fucking creepy."
"What should I wear? This is your meeting. I want to do everything the way you think is best." Michael was being agreeable, but that was nothing new. The overblown blueberry was all too invested in Lucifer's opinion now. But back in Heaven, when he had a grand idea, the asshole couldn't be bothered to care. (Though, in retrospect, with what he had seen from Adam, Eve, and Cain- those ideas did have some unintended downsides- but that wasn't Lucifer's fault.) "And... you know..." Michael's voice was a little quieter. "Satan might be there..."
"Okay..." Lucifer squinted at Michael. "Weird flex. Don't know why that matters- but yeah." Michael's cheeks looked a little gold, but it might have been the lighting. "I'm probably going to go to him first because he has that whole big courtroom where we already have assigned chairs; it's a lot more convenient." In truth, it would be easier to sway the others if Satan was already on their side. (Bea and Ozzie weren't the issue, but Belphegor would most likely try to sleep through the whole thing, Leviathan would be too busy arguing with herself, and Mammon would be too busy with his businesses to give a shit about what was going on around him. And Lucifer needed everyone to be at their best.) "Maybe wear something a little less... I dunno... dorky? You are the Archangel Michael, after all."
"I am. Yes."
"So maybe dress less like someone I might shove in a locker and more like someone who could actually lead Heaven."
"I... don't know what that means..."
"Ugh, of course you don't." Lucifer pinched the bridge of skin between his eyes. Michael was the Virtue of Humility, the opposite of Pride. Michael was never one for appearances. He dressed nicely, but never in a way that drew focus. This was Hell. Michael needed to be more like what the Sins expected. Showing up in his little sweater vest was just going to make him look weak. (And by proxy, it would make Lucifer look as if he had lost to some small nobody.) "I'll come up with something for you, just... let me decide." Something more militaristic would most likely suit the nature of the meeting.
"Hey, asshole," there was the sound of the doorknob jiggling. Of course, the office was locked, but that clearly didn't stop Cain from shaking the knob a few times. "Why is there a fucking puppet downstairs claiming it's my best friend."
"Cain, you made it." Lucifer got up from his desk, making sure Michael had changed back before opening the door. Cain was standing there; the puppet was hanging off his shoulders like some sort of backpack.
"There you are, puppet!" The puppet nodded to Lucifer, "See, Cain? This is the guy I was telling you about. He's a real pain in the ass. He thinks he's me."
"Uh... huh." Cain looked remarkably unamused.
"Um... sir," Michael nodded to the puppet. "Perhaps it is best we let Cain speak with your puppet. You know... so they can... get acquainted. The fact that Michael was bothering to humor the puppet was frustrating in and of itself, but Lucifer did want to speak to Cain.
"Right. And see what is taking my doctor so long, will you?" Lucifer had expected Raph here much sooner. The Arcs didn't typically dick around when it came to Corruption, and Raphael seemed invested in not letting Adam's condition worsen.
"If you mean the quiet fucker in the plague mask, he's been downstairs for a while. The puppet wouldn't let him leave." Cain remarked dryly.
"Cain, you continue to slay me." The puppet patted Cain on the side of the face. "It's been so nice catching up with you! We really need to spend more time together! You're like a son to me; you know that, right?"
"I'll be honest, in that conversation I felt more like your hostage." Cain's voice was entirely deadpan. The puppet laughed, hopping off of Cain's shoulders and putting its hands on its hips, puffing out its chest.
"Very good! I hope you entertain the puppet as much as you did me. Now, Virgil, while I have your attention, I have noticed a few things that might need fixing downstairs."
"Of course. I will send the doctor up to tend to Adam first." Michael put his hand on the puppet's back, steering it out of the room, making sure to close the door behind them. For once, the Archangel had proven himself useful to the one he had once called brother. (That fucking puppet was the bane of Lucifer's very existence. He would have to find a closet or something to lock it in when the guests arrived.)
"Sorry... about the puppet." Lucifer let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Cain stared at him.
"Why is there a fucking puppet?"
"It's... a long story."
"I literally cannot fathom the sequence of events that led to this."
"Look, it's not important. It's Heaven bullshit. That's all you need to know." Lucifer didn't want to get into the fact that Michael was Corrupted and was possibly losing control over the single most important ability that angels had. (He was turning into the actual Blue Fairy from Pinocchio, and if Lucifer didn't want the puppet to end up as a "real boy", then something was going to have to be done.) Though, if Cain ever checked the messages Adam sent him, Lucifer assumed the Overlord would know more than most.
"And you guys kept the mirror clone that Dad made?"
"Neo. He... he has a name."
"He has a name."
"It's... short for Neapolitan... you know... like the ice-cream."
"But that's not how you spell-"
"Your dad can't spell, okay? And Neo likes the name, so it's sticking."
"What the fuck is happening at your house?"
"I... I've lost control of my life, Cain." Lucifer sighed, going back to his chair and allowing himself to slink down into it. "So, anyway, Charlie is inviting the Hotel guests to stay here for a bit because the building got Corrupted."
"Is Charlie-"
"She's fine." Lucifer was pleased to hear Cain's concern, but it wasn't surprising. Cain had been a part of Charlie's life since she was first sculpted. "I have the doctor here to make sure, but from what I know, she didn't get infected."
"And dad?"
"The doctor should be with him now. He got a little... stressed when he was at the Hotel. I think it had to do with the conversation he was having with Vaggie. But, knowing what I know now, having a Corrupted being slithering around in the walls was probably not helping his condition. But if he takes it easy, he'll be back to his awful self in no time."
"Good." Cain looked visibly relieved. Lucifer knew he cared about his father still, despite his fervent denial. "I mean, I hate him, but... you know."
"I get it. I hate him too."
"So, what were you thinking for dinner? I mean, I don't have like... any prep time, so don't get your hopes up too high, but that evil duck is a great sous chef."
"Quackers?" Lucifer snorted. "With how much he loves that fucking kitchen, he had better be good at cooking." Of course, it was entirely unexpected, as Lucifer had designed Quackers for security purposes, but at this point it was the least concerning issue on a very long list of problems.
"Did you know about his and Dad's matching apron collection?"
"Matching? No. I have seen Adam's rather embarrassing number of stupid aprons though." The Devil thought they were all stupid, of course, but the one that said: Daddio of the Patio always made him laugh, given that Adam cooked in a kitchen. (Where was Quackers getting the money to buy aprons? Did Adam buy them for him? Did Quackers have a fucking paycheck? He had a lot of questions.)
"I default to wearing the one that says hot stuff because it's the least embarrassing and also is undeniably true." Cain gestured to himself. Lucifer rolled his eyes. At least he had inherited Adam's ego.
"Right."
"That, and the psychotic duck will not allow me to be in the kitchen without one."
"I mean... you aren't wearing a shirt. That doesn't seem like it's the best outfit for a kitchen." Lucifer pointed to Cain's open leather jacket.
"First of all, I'm a fucking gargoyle, so it doesn't matter. Also, I have clothes for the kitchen. I am not going to walk around in those, though, because that would look stupid."
"And your current outfit is...?"
"Incredibly sexy. I am one of Hell's most eligible bachelors."
"Who the fuck told you that?"
"It was in a magazine. I don't know. The article was mostly filled with pictures of actual rocks wearing a wig and a few actual images where I was in the background of other people's photos."
"Not sure how reliable that source is, then."
"I'm still taking the win."
"You do that." Lucifer was more amused than anything else. "This is a victory celebration for Charlie, so I want all of her favorites. I know you're short on time, but if anyone can make it happen, it's you." Or Adam. But Lucifer wasn't going to say that out loud, as he wanted Cain to do the work.
"For Charlie? I'll figure something out. How many are we feeding?"
"Um..." Lucifer tried to do the math. "Like... eighteen? Make it twenty to be safe."
"And is this number counting the two robots, the puppet, and the mirror duplicate of my dad that just wanders around cleaning things?"
"Again: he has a name. It's Neo."
"Because you name everything now, I guess."
"Well, he can talk-"
"Oh! He can talk now!"
"Not... well, but he makes himself understood. He knows what you're saying to him. I think it's just hard for him to voice his own thoughts." Lucifer couldn't deny that Neo was intelligent- probably smarter than Adam because at least Neo understood the value of the First Man getting rest.
"Damn, you really have lost control of your life."
"And now you have two dads."
"The mirror clone could be a better father; I'll keep an open mind." Cain seemed rather amused by his own comment. "So, we are feeding the two robots, the puppet, and reflective-dad?"
"Probably. But maybe I'll give them their own table, so Charlie doesn't have to explain all of this shit to her friends." Lucifer didn't want the sentient puppet trying to give a speech on his behalf or Syn announcing that he and Adam were not, in fact, getting a divorce. (Eventually, Lucifer would have to figure out where in the hell Syn had picked that up from. What sort of TV was she watching in her off time?)
"That sounds like a good idea. Well, I guess I need to get my ass to the kitchen because my niece had a celebratory dinner to enjoy." He opened the office door. At least he was being cooperative. (It was probably because Charlie was involved. For a man that hated most people, Cain had a soft spot for the royal family.)
"Thanks for doing this." Lucifer followed Cain outside of the office. "I know it's short notice, but with Adam down, it was this or catering."
"And you would obviously pick me to cater anyway, so, best to just skip the middleman." Cain was rather confident in his food. "I'll be sure to send you my bill."
"You're charging me?"
"A feast for twenty with virtually no prep time? I am charging the Hell out of you. Now," he looked around the hall. "Which of these rooms is Dad's? I want to make sure he isn't dead."
"He moves around a lot." Lucifer didn't feel like explaining to Cain why his father and the King of Hell were currently roommates. "But leave him alone for now. He's sleeping."
"How bad is he?" Cain crossed his arms over his chest, his expression softened as much as it could, given that his features were chiseled in stone.
"He's just tired. Unfortunately, with the way his condition works, the more he gets better, the worse he'll feel." Lucifer was, of course, going off of pure speculation, but it made sense. Corruption always made you feel worse the more you fought against it. "But he should recover if he allows himself a break. Not sure why now of all times he decided to stop being lazy." Cain gave him an uncertain look. "What?"
"Nothing. It's just... my dad is many things: obnoxious, egotistical, unfunny- but I would never have called him lazy. We had to hunt and gather for our own food back in the day. If anything, I would have called him a workaholic. But hey," Cain shrugged, "he probably got used to having everything handed to him in Heaven. I wouldn't be surprised if he's lazy now."
"It was probably Heaven." Lucifer hadn't really seen Adam since the Fall, outside of one or two meetings in regard to the Exterminations- but those interactions had been brief. Still, he had this mental image of Adam being kind of a lazy slob. Thinking back on it, Adam had been the first to clean. Lucifer briefly wondered where he had gotten the idea from. Maybe Adam just had that sort of personality. Or he just had a very lazy-looking face.
"All right, feel better, Adam." At that moment the door to Lucifer's bedroom opened, and Raphael walked out in his towering Sinner form. The Archangel closed the door behind him, face hidden behind the leathery, beaked plague mask and heave, draping hood. The empty-looking black glass of the goggles reflected the light in the hall as he turned his head. "Ah, your majesty." Knowing it was Raphael behind that mask still made things strange when the doctor gave a sweeping bow to Lucifer. "Cain." He rose, nodding to the Overlord.
"Why did you just come out of his bedroom?" Cain was squinting at the door. Lucifer briefly felt his heart drop. He quickly put a hand on Cain's back.
"That wasn't my bedroom."
"I have been here enough to know which fucking room is yours." Cain swatted his arm away, walking to the door in front of which Raphael was still standing. "Is my dad in there?"
"Cain-"
"Are you fucking my dad!?"
"Oh, fuck no." Lucifer almost laughed at the absurdity of it. "Cain, you have the entirely wrong idea here." Lucifer cleared his throat, standing tall, confident.
"But my dad is in your bedroom."
"Yes. But for purely medical reasons." Lucifer put his palms together and brought his hands in a slow, downward motion. "Right, Raph?"
"I presume so? I never really thought to question it." Raphael was absolutely no fucking help. "It's not my business." Lucifer held up a hand to silence the medical angel.
"Never mind him. I knew you were going to overreact, so I didn't want to tell you. But if you must know, your father almost died in his sleep, so I have him staying with me to keep an eye on him. Feel better?"
"Why would knowing that my dad almost died make me feel better!?" Cain was getting surprisingly worked up over a very simple non-issue.
"Well... for one thing, he didn't die, so that's a win." Lucifer's tone was calm as he tried making light of the situation. "And also, need I remind you that you hate your father?"
"I mean... I do." Cain looked a little overwhelmed. "But that's still my dad." It was clear he had complicated feelings on the matter. "I don't want him to like really die."
"He's not going to die. Outside of the death he already had. Staying with me has been a pretty solid fix." Lucifer had all the confirmation he needed about Cain's true feelings where his dad was involved. It seemed that rocky exterior was poetically perfect for him.
"Truly, he is doing much better. This episode of weakness should only be temporary. He just needs time to gather his energy back. Overall, there have actually been major improvements." Raphael's outlook was more optimistic than Lucifer was expecting. Either the Archangel was better at lying than any of the other siblings, or Adam really was recovering. It was a testament to Adam's willpower; fighting Corruption was a struggle even for angels. For a human, he was holding out far better than anyone could have expected.
"What the fuck do you even know..." Cain trailed off. Lucifer could almost see his mind working as he was piecing something together. "You called him Raph." The singular, glowing green eye narrowed at the disguised angel. "Is your doctor the fucking Archangel of Healing?"
"He could just be a dude named Raph; it's not exactly an uncommon name." Lucifer countered. Of course, Cain, being Adam's son, had more knowledge of the inner workings of Heaven than most. He too had been cast out and punished thanks to the judgmental bastards Upstairs. But unlike Lucifer, Cain had kind of deserved it. Sure, Abel wasn't exactly perfect- at least from Cain's recollection, he sounded obnoxious- but he didn't deserve to get murdered. Cain pulled his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through it.
"Holy shit, it is Raphael."
"That sounds crazy-" Lucifer tried to laugh the accusation off, while he did trust Cain (weirdly enough) he doubted the Sinner had the best outlook on the Arcs. Cain flipped the phone toward Lucifer so he could read a series of one-sided texts from Adam that predominantly went unanswered, save for the occasional thumbs up or 'K' response.
Dad [5:16 AM]: Got a checkup today from Raphael! Heaven still totally cares about me. Maybe he can stop by and see you too! Love you. Miss you. -Dad
"Proof." Cain turned the phone away.
"Does... Adam sign his texts?" Lucifer realized Adam was also leaking private information to Cain, but at the same time, the Devil had to ask.
"Oh, yeah. All the time. He's also not a super reliable source, considering he also told me shit like: you went gambling with Uriel, and Michael moved in with you." Cain seemed to be at a loss. Lucifer glanced over at Raphael before letting out an awkward laugh.
"Yeah that sounds absolutely bonkers."
"Oh, my fucking god- it's true, isn't it?" Cain's face fell, and he seemed to do a double take as he looked back at the phone. Raphael shook his head.
"Uri and Lu didn't go out gambling. Gambling simply happened while they were out together. There is a difference."
"Raph." Lucifer pinched the bridge of skin between his eyes. It's not like angels weren't capable of keeping secrets. But straight-up lying never went well. That was the entire reason 'angel-speak' was a thing.
"Fuck, I just wrote this off as insane rambling. But my dad was telling the truth." Cain was looking back through the texts in obvious disbelief. Lucifer's eyes flickered toward the closed bedroom door, behind which the First Man was (hopefully) getting rest.
"I'm really going to have to get on to Adam about that. Just... keep your mouth shut."
"I didn't tell people about Lilith." Cain had a point. Aside from Charlie, he was the first person who knew about Lucifer's wife leaving. Admittedly, he had found out because he walked in on some of the Devil's wallowing time, but he hadn't told a soul. Lucifer had tried to send Azzie a letter about it at one point... at least, now he knew why she never responded. "So then," the Son of Adam looked back at the string of texts, "are the potatoes really filled with tiny creatures that try to bite your fingers if you cut them the wrong way?"
"That was probably a hallucination." Lucifer knew that Adam was lucid most of the time, but there were still moments where the Corruption won out and the First Man lost touch with reality. Cain frowned.
"And he didn't hear the voices of my brothers crying out for him from the... looming figures in the night sky?"
"What the fuck, Adam?" Lucifer had to ask, even if the human in question wasn't around to answer. "No, that was rambling. Just... use your best judgment when it comes to messages from your dad." Honestly, Cain's message log would probably have been a great insight into Adam's mental state. The Overlord scoffed.
"Yeah, but I would have believed the potato thing before I would have believed the bit about Michael moving in."
"The situation called for it." Lucifer still had many, many regrets about having Michael around. But he couldn't deny that his brother had been an immense resource. "Look, Cain, I know it sounds insane, but this problem is serious enough that Heaven and Hell are going to have to work together if we're going to make any progress."
"That's oddly mature of you to admit." The way Cain smirked, it reminded Lucifer of the smug countenance of the Sinner's father. Lucifer made a face.
"Shut the fuck up."
"CHARLIE IS HERE!" Thankfully, Syn's voice provided the perfect interruption as the little cylinder went rushing up the steps to fly directly into Lucifer's face.
"Ah, fuck! I need to get cooking." Cain immediately started to head back down toward the kitchen. Lucifer cleared his throat.
"Not a word about the room situation to Charlie, okay?"
"Yeah, I'm not going to tell her that. I don't even want to think about it. It's fucking weird." Cain didn't even bother stopping as he disappeared around the corner. Lucifer let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Cain would keep his mouth shut, more likely than not.
"Thank you, Syn." The Devil put his hand on the railing and hurried down the stairs. He made sure his posture was perfect, his clothing flawless. He had to radiate perfection to his people. He had to be confident for his daughter. "Welcome! Welcome to my-"
"Luxurious Mansion! I am so happy to have you here!" The Devil was cut off by an all too familiar, grating voice as the puppet popped up in front of him. "Any friends of my darling baby apple are friends of my- AH!" The puppet was sent flying across the room with a simple flick of Lucifer's wrist. It smacked into the opposing wall, skewing one of the pictures that adorned the foyer for decoration. Lucifer returned his attention to Charlie, who was standing hand-in-hand with Vaggie. The annoying radio guy and the one-eyed maid were missing for the time being. That was fine by Lucifer. He really didn't need the added stress of having the smiling little bitch in a place where he might be able to go through Lucifer's very important and expensive things. Sure, the important items were all warded, but if the crimson bastard got himself obliterated, then Charlie might be sad- and that was not something Lucifer wanted.
"Forgive the puppet." Lucifer glanced at the Muppet as Neo picked it up gently off the floor and set it back on its feet. "And you all remember the Adam copy: that's Neo. He's an employee. Killing him is strictly forbidden."
"Yay." Neo clapped quietly before returning his focus to fixing the pictures that the puppet had dislodged with its face when it had made contact with the wall.
"It talks?" Angel made a face.
"I told you guys, he's very nice." Charlie tried to assure everyone. She turned her own attention toward Raphael. She immediately seemed to recognize him. "And you all know my dad's doctor! He's here for checkup!"
"Not a-fuckin'-gain." Cherri groaned loudly.
"Hey! The Princess is doing this so you assholes don't get sick." Vaggie snapped. Lucifer appreciated her instant defense of his daughter.
"Charlie, if I could speak with you alone for a moment?" Lucifer gestured toward his office. "Virgil, I need you as well."
"Damn, you need sturdier stuff in your office, Boss Man." Lysander shook his head. "You need Virgil to fix shit all the time."
"Charlie! Hi!"
"Hey Syn." Charlie gave Syn a pat on the top of her cylinder as Syn rubbed against her cheek. The Princess turned back toward her friends. "I will be right back everyone! Vaggie, please don't let them break anything." She squeezed Vaggie's hand before letting go.
"I won't." Vaggie pressed a kiss to her cheek. "All right, guys! Let's meet with the royal doctor one at a time!" As Vaggie gave instructions, Lucifer guided his daughter and Michael up the stairs back into his office. He was spending all day in here at this point. "Angel! Don't go opening random fucking doors!" Vaggie's voice was still clear even as they reached the door.
Lucifer heard Angel say something along the lines of: "Is that a bowling alley?" before he finally closed the door and noise from the outside was completely canceled out. (Though Lucifer wasn't sure why the Sinner would think there was a bowling alley in his house.)
"Thanks for letting us stay here." Charlie immediately went to hug her father. He squeezed her back tightly.
"Anything for you, crabapple."
"And it's great to see you, uncle!" Charlie hugged Michael as well. The Archangel had reverted back to his true form, the eyes in the halos twinkling as he hugged back.
"Great to see you too!"
"Do you have any news about the hotel?" Charlie took a step back so she could look at both of the Morningstar Twins. Lucifer glanced toward Michael. In all honestly, he had been leaving that part to Michael. It was strange letting Heaven handle something so important, and he had every intention to hover and micromanage- but he had been busy with the fact that guests were going to be infiltrating his inner sanctum. (That, and he needed to make sure Michael was on board for meeting the other Sins.)
"I had Gabriel look into it. I..." Michael looked back at Lucifer. "I'm trying to take it easy. Because of my injury." Michael's cheeks went a little green, and Lucifer wordlessly handed him the trash can. He threw up into it, before continuing as if nothing had even happened. "He managed to clean everything out, so the good news is that you don't have to entirely rebuild. The bad news is it will need a twenty-four-hour 'cool down' period so it will stop being considered "hallowed ground."
"You blessed it, didn't you?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow.
"I mean... we didn't really have a "choice."
"Thank you, Uncle Michael. And tell Uncle Gabriel thank you from me as well." Charlie didn't seem concerned, so Lucifer supposed he could let it slide. (And there was also the fact that Michael was absolutely right. They really didn't have a whole lot of other options.) Lucifer cleared his throat to draw the attention back onto himself.
"Right, Charlie, I also called you here because I am going to bring the matter of Corruption up to the other Sins."
"Syns?" Charlie looked briefly confused. "Is there more than one?"
"What?" It took Lucifer a moment to realize what she was asking. "No, not Syn. Sin. The other Seven Deadly."
"Oh! That makes more sense." She nodded eagerly. "I think it's a great idea, dad! I haven't seen the others in forever!"
"That was my next question: Did you want to join us?" Lucifer smiled as he saw Charlie's face light up at the offer.
"Of course!"
"I am going to set up a meeting with Satan first thing tomorrow, and from there we'll schedule a full meeting with the others." Lucifer had a feeling this would be a long affair, as this was some rather important news.
"Tomorrow?" Charlie frowned. "I mean... I love my friends and everything... but... If we're all going to the meeting... then who is going to watch the house? Watch Adam?" That was true. Adam had proven to be quite the little escape artist. (And Lucifer didn't want the Hotel residents accidentally triggering any wards or getting shot by Lysander. There was also the matter of the puppet. Not that he thought it was going to be up to anything nefarious... it was just... that puppet had already gotten his daughter accused of patricide when it wasn't sentient. Lucifer had no idea what chaos it would cause if it escaped.)
"Okay... fair point." He needed Michael, and he didn't want to leave Charlie out of a meeting this big. Usually, he would just make a copy of himself, but at the rate things were gaining free will, Lucifer was hesitant to take any kind of risk. He didn't need a third version of himself running amok. (Two Adams and a Muppet was more than enough bullshit for one eternity.) Still... there wasn't really anyone else who could manage to keep the Sinners (and sentient items) in line. Or... well... there kind of was, but the idea made him inwardly cringe.
"Dad?" Charlie was looking at him uncertainly- most likely because of the Devil's sudden silence. Lucifer's mind was racing as he tried to weigh the benefits against the many, many potential pitfalls. It was the best option he could see.
"Hey, Mike?" The King of Hell was already regretting the words before they even left his mouth. He could just put this off till the Hotel guests left- but that still wouldn't account for Adam and the Muppet. (Adam had already proved that he was capable of using his Sinner Power to escape the boundaries of Hell). "What's Gabe up to tomorrow?"