Hyperdimension Neptunia is owned by Compile Heart, Idea Factory, Sega and whomever else worked on it.

Happy New Year everyone! Enjoy a new one-shot!


"Neptuna!" A young Peashy in yellow pajamas cried from her crib as Neptune, wearing her dress, walked in.

"What's all the hubub, bub?" She asked as she looked at Peashy, IF in her green jammies and Compa in her orange jammies. "Do you got a dirty diaper or something?"

Peashy shook her head. "Can't sleep. Story!"

"Yeah!" Compa's eyes lit up as she bounced up and down in her crib. "Story! Story!"

"A story, huh?" Neptune closed her eyes in thought as she tapped her chin. "Hmm... Well, do you know the story of ole Blanny Hubbard?" The three shook their heads as they sat close to the bars of their cribs to hear Neptune speak really well. Neptune smiled at them. "Well, see, there once was a girl named ole Blanny Hubbard, who wore white pajamas to bed. One day twins came to her and cried about being hungry, so ole Blanny Hubbard went to the cupboard to get the twins a treat. But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, and she did not think that was neat."

"Uh huh, not cool." IF pouted at hearing that.

Neptune nodded and continued. "So ole Blanny Hubbard had to get some grub, but as she walked by a room, she heard a rub a dub dub!" The tiny girls all gasped as they heard that. So ole Blanny Hubbard stopped and stared as there were three men in the tub!"

The tiny girls all shrieked in surprise.

"Ole Blanny Hubbard stared with blank white eyes as the three men sang about taking a bath once on a Saturday night." Neptune nodded as she continued on. "But then ole Blanny Hubbard decided to give their tub fun a scrub and they were blasted away."

"Ooooh!" The girls all cooed in surprise.

"More!" Peashy yelled with her arms up in the air.

"Another story, huh?" Neptune tapped her chin. "Well, did you hear about Nowa and Jill?" They shook their heads. "Nowa and Jill ran up the hill, no one knew why. But Jill fell down and squished an ant town and Nowa came falling after."

"Oh no!" Compa gasped, putting her hands to her mouth.

Neptune winked and leaned in. "But poor Jill couldn't get back up the hill as Nowa's big butt went splat on Jill, who became quite ill and that's why Nowa has no friends."

"AHHH!" The tiny girls all had blank, white eyes as they heard that story and imagined someone's butt squishing their faces.

"Do you need another story?" Neptune asked and the girls nodded. "Hmm... Oh! Did you know about the beanstalk?" They all shook their heads. "Well..."

*Flash*

Neptune, for some reason, was wearing a green parka hoodie and frowned. "I like purple more." She glared straight in front of her. A moment later, her outfit changed colors to purple. "Good." She smiled and started skipping away. "La la la la la!"

As she skipped past a tree on the open, dusty road, she came across a cloaked, shadowy figure. "Oh, what's this? An obvious plot point?"

"Please don't spoil the surprise for everyone." The figure grunted at her. "But yes, I'm here to give you your fondest wish."

"An unlimited pool full of pudding?!" Neptune's eyes sparkled in delight.

"Ah, maybe?" The figure sweat-dropped as Neptune was suddenly right in front of the figure, her eyes sparkling. "Well, see, I don't have it, but..." Neptune blinked as the figure held out its hand and Neptune opened her palms, only for three beans to fall into them. "Plant those beans and your dream will come true."

Neptune looked at the beans and frowned before throwing them over her shoulder. "Nah, I'd rather have the pudding, thanks but..." Suddenly there was a rumbling and she spun around, only to gawk in surprise as a giant tree grew out of the ground and kept going up and up and up. "That was fast."

"They're magic beans." The figure said. "Well, climb up and you'll get what you want."

"I guess that explains it." Neptune said as she ran to the tree and started to climb. "Boy, I hope that there's no camera peeking up so people can see what color of panties I'm wearing."

After some time, Neptune climbed to the top of the tree and stepped out on top of some clouds. Shockingly there was a castle in the distance. "Wow! A castle! I bet there's a HUGE amount of pudding there!" She grinned and started to skip along the clouds and towards the castle. "Pudding! Pudding!"

As she skipped forward, she noticed that the trees were starting to shake and move. "Nepu?!" She yelped and jumped behind a tree as a large person with one eye came out of the trees.

"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum!" The large, fat and single-eyed being with red skin grumbled as it looked around. "I smell the scent of a CPU bum! Be she alive! Or she dead! I'll turn her into data and then into bread!"

Neptune waited until the giant walked off, through the trees before sniffing herself. "Does my butt stink or something?"

Still, the massive amount of pudding was calling to her! She nodded and ran off towards the castle in the distance.

(-)

A bit later...

"F...Finally." Neptune panted as she got close to the castle and stared at how HUGE the thing was. "The windows are bigger than me!" She had no idea what she was going to do, but there had to be a massive amount of pudding in there!

"Now if only I can find a way inside." Neptune wondered before the door that was near her opened up. "Oooh! That's convienent!"

There was a loud thump and she turned around to see the giant walking her way. "Oh poopie!" She turned and raced into the castle and hid under a broken bowl near the door as the giant walked in.

After the giant wandered off into the castle, Neptune poked her head out from under the bowl and nodded before running into the castle. She made sure to try and avoid the giant.

Pudding couldn't wait!

(-)

Night had long since fallen and Neptune was exhausted. "I can't find any pudding!" She whined as she climbed up the incredibly tall stairs. "Only two more to go." She gasped as she pulled herself up one more step and flopped on her back. "There better be a million gallon tub of pudding when I get to the top of these steps!"

After more whining and struggles, she finally got to the top of the stairs, nearly lost her balance and managed to stay upright. "Okay! This hallway only goes one way! So let's see what's down here!"

After walking down the hallway to the only door, which happened to be at the very end, Neptune ducked under it and walked inside. When she got in there, she pouted as there wasn't any pudding in there. "Oooh! What's that?" Her eyes sparkled as she saw a giant glowing crystal in the center of the room. Walking up to it, she touched it and was engulfed in light energy.

(-)

"And that's how I first turned into Purple Heart and..." Neptune stopped as she saw the three girls were sleeping. Smiling, she turned and walked away. "Night night." She turned off the lights and closed the door behind her.

Sure, it was a complete fabrication, but the kids always liked good stories.


Just randomness that hit me at work.