Hyperdimension Neptunia is owned by Compile Heart, Idea Factory, Sega and whomever else worked on it.
This is what happens when I'm in a silly mood.
Blanc frowned in confusion as she looked at the card in her hands. "What's this? Grail-Chan, a powerful extra dimensional entity capable of granting wishes and offering advice regardless if you're good or evil?" She looked up at the giant... Fork-shaped blob that was brown but seemingly drooling purple and had a purple ball above its head. She wasn't sure if she should trust the thing that appeared in her Basilicom, 'but maybe just asking it some questions couldn't hurt.' She thought to herself. "So... Grail-chan?"
"Yes, Blanc-chan?" Grail-chan asked, "what's the matter? Tell Grail-chan your deepest desires."
For some reason, the voice of Grail-chan was... Kind of relaxing and Blanc was about to ask a question when, for some reason, Vert's teasing from two days ago popped into her head. "Stupid Thunder Tits, always making fun of me for not having breasts."
"You're so hopeless, Blanc-chan." Grail-chan said.
The next thing Blanc knew, a large knife was stuck in the ground right in front of her.
"Boob Fixing Kit..."
Blanc just stared stupidly at it.
Grail-chan leaned forward and whispered. "Chop off her breasts and she can never make fun of you for not having boobs ever again."
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Blanc screamed as she transformed and smashed Grail-chan out of her Basilicom.
(-)
There was a loud thump in the forest and Neptune, who was outside slaughtering dogoos looked up at the slimy thing in front of her. "Holy macaroni! It's a brown slime thing!"
"I'm Grail-chan!" The thing told her. "Just tell me your deepest desires and I can grant them to you."
Neptune closed her eyes and tilted her head. "Well, I dunno... Can you make Histy stop being such a slave driver, Grail-chan?"
"You're so helpless, Neptune-chan." Grail-chan said.
Neptune looked down at the large knife that was jammed into the ground at her feet.
"Histy repair device!"
"Uh... That's a knife." Neptune pointed out.
Grail-chan leaned in and whispered. "Stab her many times and she'll stop ordering you around."
The next thing Grail-chan knew, it was being sliced into many pieces by an angry Purple Heart.
(-)
It took many weeks, but Grail-chan was able to pull itself back together. It would leave where it was in the forest and look for someone to give its helpful advice to.
(-)
Nepgear blinked in surprise as she came across a moving blob creature. "Goodness gracious, what are you?"
"I'm Grail-chan, Nepgear-chan!"
"Wait, I never told you my name." Nepgear gasped in surprise.
"That's okay," the blob said while swaying back and forth, "I just looked at the dialogue boxes and saw your name when you were speaking."
"Oh, that makes sense." Nepgear nodded.
"As for what I can do, I can grant you your deepest desires."
Nepgear sweat-dropped. "Well, I dunno about that, I'd like to be a better main character, but I don't know how you can help me with that."
"You're so helpless, Nepgear-chan." Grail-chan said.
Nepgear gawked as a purple sword was stabbed into the ground before her.
"Main character maker!"
Nepgear's pupils were the size of pinpricks. "What?"
Grail-chan leaned in. "Use this sword to kill the other CPUs and become the main character."
"NOOOO!" Nepgear screamed as she grabbed Gehaburn and cut Grail-chan into pieces before she threw the sword into the air, transformed and used both of her EXE drives on the cursed sword before it hit the ground, shattering it. "I HATE THAT ENDING!"
(-)
Eventually Grail-chan would pull itself back together in an apartment. "Uh oh. Did someone come to do bad things to me?" The occupant of the apartment asked.
"No, Compa-chan." Grail-chan said as it looked at the blonde girl. "Grail-chan is here to grant you your deepest desire."
Compa smiled. "Well, I'm worried that Iffy-poo and me are being written out of the series, I mean we hardly had a role in Sister Vs Sister."
"Your so helpless, Compa-chan." Grail-chan said.
Compa looked as a large knife was stabbed into the ground in front of her.
"Contract negotiator!"
"Huh?" Compa blinked.
Grail-chan leaned in. "Go to the corporate offices and stab all the people who make the games but aren't giving you a role."
"You're right!" Compa's eyes lit up as she picked up the knife. "Thanks, Grail-chan!"
Grail-chan, or rather, Grail-kun, is from Carnival Phantasm. Shirou, Shinji and Kirei all went to Grail-kun, asking for advice, the thing gave them a knife, telling Shirou to kill 1 million people to be a hero, telling Shinji to show Gil who's boss and telling Kirei to kill Lancer to make a contract with a better Servant.
