Listen. It was gonna happen eventually.

You know how this goes.


.


"Do you think your mother went to her . . . farm, I suppose you might call it, when she left your father?" Ryo looked cautiously excited, tentative, like maybe he'd figured out a mystery. "I mean, if that's where she was most comfortable, perhaps that's where she decided to settle down."

"I've considered that," Noa said. "I don't have . . . much confidence. Chichiue wasn't invested in the property, but he knew about it. She used his money to buy it, after all. I think it was an anniversary gift or some such thing. I don't think Hahaue would have settled anywhere that had a connection to him. If anything, I imagine she moved her animals. Or, maybe they're still there? Maybe she set up a way to keep them cared for. But I don't think she went back there, once she decided to cut ties."

"Have you . . . I mean. Have you checked?"

Noa sighed, then shook his head. "I haven't," he admitted. "I think maybe I'm scared to. I'm pretty sure I won't find anything there, but . . . I still don't want to find nothing, either. I don't want to be right. I don't want to know, period. I think . . . maybe that's why I asked for Aniki's help. I'm too much of a coward to do it myself."

"I don't think you're a coward at all," Ryo said, putting a hand on Noa's arm.

"Aren't I?" Noa looked disgusted now, like he'd just ate something rotten. "I'm desperate enough to find my mother that I'll make a fool of myself, asking for help that Aniki shouldn't have to give. But can I put any of the work in myself? No. No, I fucking can't. Because I don't want to think about what I'm going to say if she is alive, and I don't want to think about what I'm going to do if she isn't. I'm . . . pathetic."

Ryo leaned in closed and pulled his boyfriend close. "You are not pathetic," he said, pressing his forehead against Noa's. "I won't have anyone calling you that, not even you. Parents are confusing, confounding, and your brother knows why you asked for help. Now stop talking badly about yourself. Do you hear me? That's an order. You're in my house, under my roof, so you have to follow my rules."

Noa laughed, but he didn't pull away. He reached up and pulled Ryo into a hug. "Thank you, Ryo," he said.

"You're welcome." Ryo rubbed Noa's back. "Now, then. What are you worried about? What do you imagine will happen if you meet your mother again? What's got you so tied up in knots? Maybe I can help."

"I guess . . ." Noa adjusted his weight, pulled back, but also reached out and took hold of Ryo's hand. The touch was comforting. "I think I'm . . . worried she won't believe that I'm me. I'm worried I won't have any way to prove it to her. I think . . . I'm worried she'll take one look at me and all she'll see is an abomination. A sin against God."

Ryo frowned. "Is she religious?"

"No," Noa admitted, "but I'm not sure what to call myself, other than blasphemous. I defy the natural order. I'm a homunculus. I'm Frankenstein's monster. And, I mean, sure. Plenty of people sympathize with the monster, but that doesn't change the story in the end. Does it?"

"You aren't a story," Ryo said. "You're a person. As real as me."

"Are you sure about that?"

Ryo's serious face lightened, and he smiled. "If you weren't real, I couldn't do this."

He leaned in and kissed Noa's lips.