Chapter 72, A Meeting Of The Minds

Severus did not practice much during the next few days. This was due to two reasons. The first was that he was tired of the headaches and needed a break. Though this was human of him, he may not have allowed himself the luxury, considering the necessity to excel at Legilimency and Occlumency. With Heather and Raislen gone he willingly allowed his driving need for vengeance to consume and dictate most of his waking actions. The second reason for his lack of practice, however, was why the first reason was permissible. He was taking a break to regroup and develop a true strategy. He was well aware that he'd been tossing himself at people's mind walls from Dumbledore himself to the Gryffindor Gang of Gits with no or far too little success. Something had to change.

He must step back to truly consider the situation in order to decide what that something should be. More than once over the years, Eileen had said that one could not fully see all sides of a situation when one was in it up to their neck. He had to think of a way to get through Dumbledore's mental walls as well as the mental walls of others. There had to be a trick to it. It was simply a trick that many never figured out, or it would not be so difficult to learn these mental skills. As he pondered, his mind played over every clue or hint that Dumbledore might have given him. It had to do with emotions, so perhaps the trick was getting someone into their emotions about the thing he wanted to see even if that seemed far too obvious. If it was done in a more subtle way, perhaps...

Then again Severus was not the best at subtle, meaning not good at all. He was far too forthright, honest and generally impatient with people as a rule. Still if he considered the process round-about rather than subtle, perhaps he could manage it. Not easily and not without great amounts of thought because round about was still its own form of subtle. First he needed to find a crack in Dumbledore's mental walls. He was practicing with him, after all, learning from him, which made the old headmaster the safest to try things on. It was what the man expected, and if it went wrong there would be no harm done. If he practiced too strenuously on one of the Gits and gave himself away, it would ruin everything. So proceeding with anything other than extreme caution with them until he knew what he was doing was entirely off the table. Any new idea he had must be tried on Dumbledore himself first.

Getting into one's mind was either like a battle or a thieving expedition, and in either case, a distraction was paramount. How to distract your opponent's strong and well placed mental shields, though? Because Dumbledore likely never said anything without a meaning or three behind it, Severus had been thinking hard about emotions after their last conversation. Feelings and emotions could control one's magic, most certainly. He still recalled how much trouble he'd had with his own cutting hex as a result of too much fury and hate for the Gryffindor Gang of Gits, Voldemort and old man Prince too for that matter. Dumbledore seemed to have an excellent grasp on his own emotions, but if that grasp were to waver, would his mental shields waver as well? This was the concept Severus was playing with when Monday afternoon and their next lesson rolled around. The fact that Albus had seen and chosen to comment on Severus's memories of Tobias served as inspiration.

"How are things, Severus," Albus asked as he poured the usual two cups of tea that he always served up for these lessons.

Severus shrugged. "Alright, I suppose. After our last lesson I have been thinking a great deal about my father and how his death has guided my actions." Albus gave a slight nod, this being his only comment as he took a sip from his cup of tea. Severus continued, hoping for the best. "Were you and your father close?" As he asked, he attempted once again to slip like a paper thin key through a crack in Albus Dumbledore's mental armor. And that was when it happened! He saw a youngish man, red haired with a tall slender build shouting angry curses as Aurors dragged him away. A youthful Albus, around aged ten or so, also with red hair, sat on a low stone wall with his hands hooked between his knees, watching with a helpless expression on his face. He stared after his father, clearly wanting to do something, but knowing that he could not. How interesting that one could understand so much of the one who's thoughts were being seen! This was truly more than he'd hoped for. How fascinating. His own thoughts jarred Severus from the experience. So startled was he that it had actually worked, that he nearly dropped his teacup. As easily as he'd slipped through the crack, it slammed closed again, pushing Severus out in such a way that he felt the room spinning.

"My father was taken to jail when he defended my little sister against Muggles who had attacked her," Albus said flatly. Severus looked up from his cup, meeting the older man's kind blue eyes with his dark ones and seeing a person who understood him. While their backgrounds were vastly different, they did converge on a few points that gave him more common ground than he even had with Heather and Raislen.

"How did you manage it," Albus asked, and Severus proudly explained the lines of reasoning that had led him to use an emotional conversation starter as an opening. "Very good!" Albus gave him a proud smile. "I knew you would sort out your own way into this art, Severus. Now you shall also want to turn your focus to blocking someone else from entering your own mind. That is, in a sense, a bit easier once you are fully aware of the mechanics of entering the mind of another."

"So to excel at Occlumency, I must first master Legilimency," Severus asked and Albus nodded. "Piece of bloody cake," Severus quipped dryly and they both chuckled.

"Next time, it shan't be so easy. I know what to look out for from you now," Dumbledore warned.

Severus sighed. "I am aware." He smirked. "If it's about strong feelings creating chinks in mental armor, though, I can certainly make most of the people whose minds I wish to see into angry without trying very hard at all. Voldemort will be a different matter, though. Making him angry would be too dangerous."

"There are other strong feelings that aren't anger," Albus reminded. "Sadness is an easy in. Far too many people are sad, so if making someone sad is a skill you think you can master, you shall be set." He chuckled. There are other emotions as well that should not be overlooked. Pride is a feeling, as well as joy or envy, and those could be easier as well as safer to trigger in a man like Voldemort,"" Dumbledore observed.

A question to which he was very interested in the answer of suddenly occurred to Severus. "Have you ever seen into his mind?"

"I did a few brief times, but he is good at blocking," Dumbledore replied with a slight nod.

"Well what did you see," Severus asked eagerly leaning forward in his chair.

Dumbledore frowned. "I saw him tormenting Muggle children when he was a child himself. People like him are often born bad, Severus. People like him don't reach such a level of evil simply because something devastating or dreadful happened in their life. They are just born wrong, so no matter what you do, be very careful of him." Severus opened his mouth to say that he always intended to be careful, but Dumbledore cut him off before he could speak. "What ever you had in mind for being careful, increase it ten fold if you hope to survive any interactions with him, Severus."

Rather than speaking, Severus simply nodded. "And don't do it before you are good and ready as well as fully prepared," Dumbledore concluded. Severus nodded again. He had a lot to think about, none of it particularly pleasant. "We can end early today if you like," Dumbledore said. "You have done well, and now you have something to practice on others. Try using their emotions to slip through their cracks. I look forward to hearing of your progress when we meet again Friday."

Severus rose from the chair across from Dumbledore's own and placed his now empty teacup down on the desk. "Thank you, Sir. And of course I would never tell anyone what I see in your mind, just so you know," he concluded, feeling rather awkward, yet still needing to say the words.

Dumbledore smiled gently. "I know you would not. You would not be here if I did not trust you, Severus. You are a good person to those you love."

Severus smiled, glad that Albus was wise enough not to say he was a good person in general. It meant that the older man truly did understand him. The trouble with the concept of being good to everyone was that not everyone deserved it. In fact most people did not deserve it for one reason or another. He left the headmaster's office without a headache for the first time since these lessons had begun. When he entered the Slytherin common room, Avery and Mulciber were nowhere in sight, but Regulus sat near the fire eating cookies from a bag in his lap.

"Hi," he called, waving to Severus. "Where have you been anyway?"

"Library," Severus mumbled a bit guiltily. Though he liked Regulus so disliked lying to him, there was no way he was going to risk confiding these lessons with Dumbledore to him either.

Regulus nodded sagely. "I should've guessed. I need another pass to the restricted section myself. Otherwise there's nothing there that I need or haven't read. Want a cooky? Kreacher sent me some! They're caramel pecan and quite addictive."

"Thanks," Severus said, taking the proffered cooky before settling down in the chair beside Regulus's. "How is Kreacher?"

"Grumpy about having to help with the food for a party that Bella and Rod are having, but otherwise alright. Bella and Rod don't have that many friends, so the fact that they're having a party is odd, but perhaps it's for the family. Kreacher didn't really get into the why of it in his letter, just the fact that he was extremely put out over it."

Severus chuckled sympathetically. The cooky was delicious as expected, and he said so. Regulus grinned in pleasure nearly as though he'd made it himself. As he ate, he was already thinking of how he could cause the Gryffindor Gang of Gits to emotionally react so that he could slip into their minds. If he cornered them alone, he would have more freedom when it came to all out upsetting or enraging them, but that would leave him having to fight them off. If they were vexed, they would attack, as it was how they handled their feelings.

If he had to physically and magically defend himself, he would not be able to focus on using their high emotional states to slip into their minds. He would have to either get one of them alone or ruffle them all up in front of a professor or a large class where they would not dare to risk attacking him. Of course this was far easier said than done. If he had his own gang of friends larger than their group of four, it would be far easier, but making friends was never going to be easy for him. He and Regulus weren't enough, and he didn't think that Mulciber and Avery were good enough friends to bother fighting the gits with him. He would not risk the humiliation of them not helping him. It would make him the laughing stock of not only the gits but his own house of Slytherin. Best to not seek out help than to risk the shame of being denied it.

With all this in mind, his best option was stealth. He would have to simply skulk about and listen in on the gits' private conversations, hoping that whatever they talked about happened to be causing at least one of them to feel an emotion deep enough to allow him to slip into their mind and learn something useful. This was the plan he settled on, as it seemed the safest. It was also the most frustrating as it was going to be the slowest in coming to any sort of useful fruition. He was learning patientce and hating it. He knew that patience was one of the keys to his success when it came to seeing that Voldemort paid for taking his father from him, however.

If he could not be patient when practicing what he'd learned on these gits, he would never succeed in his endeavors against Voldemort. A lack of success in that would get him dead. He spent the next few days skulking about in the shadows of the hallowed halls of Hogwarts, waiting about for the gits and attempting to hear what they were talking about. This involved getting to classes ahead of them and hiding around corners during the day and guessing where they might be after classes were over.

It was rarely fruitful and too often they spotted him skulking. Once he was even able to slip into Potter's mind, but he was just thinking rude things about Severus himself, as they'd already spotted him at that point. Severus most definitely caused the git to feel something, but it wasn't useful to see rude things about his own looks and personality. It only made him hate them all more. They were no better than he was, and actually far worse and more worthless. They hadn't nearly the talent or skill that he did, and if he could get James or Sirius one on one, he could even make them fear him. He knew it. But they knew it too and made sure to stick to their group attack mentality while still believing him to be the problem. Oh how he hated them!

Eventually it happened, born from pure desperation. He was trying to spy on Sirius Black while he seemingly waited for the others outside the Herbology greenhouse. Severus thought Sirius hadn't seen him, but he suddenly whirled and dodged round the corner where Severus crouched. He was faster than Severus expected him to be so he had no time to rise and dart away. "Got you, Snivellus." The satisfaction in his eyes made Severus's wand hand itch, but Black continued to speak rather than casting the expected hex. "You've been skulking about after us even worse than usual now that your goons have graduated and left you all alone. What do you want?"

Ah. So he was in fact getting to him! That was good. Very good and potentially useful! "I know about Lupin. I have figured out his secret," Severus ventured calmly. As he spoke he pressed with his will against Sirius's mind. Carefully, not with the force of his anger. Sirius was an evil soulless git, because he seemed to feel nothing but mild amusement as his eyes suddenly took on a mischievous sparkle.

"Have you now? Well let's hear it."

"I shan't tell you," Severus said. "I shall tell someone else." As he spoke, he watched Sirius carefully, still trying to slip into the cracks of his mind while all the while wondering if the git actually had one to speak of.

"How about this! How about you don't know what you're talking about or you already would've told someone, Snivellus," Sirius scoffed. That was it. Severus reached for his wand, but to his surprise, Sirius held up a restraining hand. "But I am so tired of you following us about that I will show you. If you promise to leave us alone, I will show you why Remus is gone for three days out of the month, because I know how badly you want to know." He smiled. That smile should've been a hard warning to Severus, had he not wanted the information so very much. The smile was full of too many teeth, and Sirius's eyes were too gleeful. Severus nodded, though, rather than mistrusting that smile as he should've done. He nodded because he wanted the information. Sirius hesitated, looking torn. "I swore I'd not say, though," he said, glancing around, clearly looking to see if his friends were approaching.

Severus scowled. "You're afraid to tell me," he taunted, annoyed that Black was only toying with him or changing his mind. Either way was infuriating.

"I... I can't tell you, but I can show you." He grinned, eyes lighting with the clear pleasure of just having a grand idea over which he was greatly pleased. "Head to The Whomping Willow just before the sun sets in four days. Until then, leave us alone and stop your incessant snooping or you shall learn nothing! Do you understand?"

"I understand that you'd better not be lying or you shall be sorry," Severus snapped back before turning on his heal and striding away. He itched to glance back for fear Sirius would hit him with a hex, but looking back would not make him appear confident, so he kept his head high and continued to stride away as if he knew Black did not dare try anything. Had he just indirectly accomplished something? He headed to the Slytherin common room, a bit numb and confused. That had been too easy, or had it? Dare he hope that his beautiful cutting curse had perhaps frightened Sirius enough and caused him to respect Severus as someone not to be toyed with? This could be the only reason he would be offering anything now. Severus clearly remembered the fear in Black's eyes when Sectumsempra had made him bleed with a simple wand flick.