A/N: Contains mild references to the Alvarez Empire arc


Chapter Two

Gray tugged at his scratchy, starched collar, trying hard to resist the urge to strip. He skilfully balanced a trayful of colourful drinks, carrying it to the table of boisterous girls that came into the diner every day to flirt with him. The eatery was always quiet around this time of day, potential patrons choosing not to venture out of their homes in the sweltering Valerian heat. The team was currently in Bauxia, a large town in the Valerian region of southern Giltena. They'd made their way there after Erza had deemed the library at Elmina, their first port of call, inadequate. "To defeat the enemy we must know the terrain intimately," she had declared and Erza brooked no argument. Three weeks later, the team was still in Bauxia and everyone was on edge. They weren't made for staying put in one place for very long.

'She has a point, but I wish we were out of here already,' thought Gray, as he served the drinks. He flashed the table a charming grin before he turned away, ignoring the pouts from the customers unhappy that he had not stayed to chat. He never did. He thanked his stars that he had so far succeeded in keeping his clothes on during his regular shifts at the diner. He could not imagine what would have happened if he had stripped; either the fawning would have doubled or, more likely, he would have been fired unceremoniously from his job and turned into the police. He still had bitter memories of the policemen at the Rose Garden waystation.

He was working as a waiter because his temperament had been deemed unsuitable for poring over books in the library. Or as Happy succinctly put it, 'Gray is too stupid for books.' It brought him some comfort though, that Natsu had been turfed out onto the streets before him. Happy too would've been swiftly dispatched on a reconnaissance mission if Lucy hadn't suggested prudence in sending a talking cat out on the streets of an unknown country. Everything was different in Giltena; the animals, the trees, the people. The ethernano in some places on the continent precipitated right out of the air like snow. Never before had his magic felt this strong. He could feel it rippling right under his skin. It was no wonder the first mages were said to come from Giltena. Legend even had it that Tenrou Island had broken off the Giltenese mainland and drifted south to Ishgar and Gray was hard-pressed to disbelieve it.

"Order up," Natsu called dully from behind the counter. The two boys had taken jobs in the town's busiest diner so that they could pick up gossip about the strange goings on in the continent. So far they'd heard tell of rumblings in a forest to the east and a haunted patch of mangroves by the warm waters of the west coast, but nothing was concrete enough to report back to the group. If things didn't look up soon, they might spend the next several months chasing ghosts across the land, or worse yet, stay put in Bauxia. Gray made his way to the counter to pick up the next order, instantly recognizing the customer by the single slice of strawberry cake. It was strange that he hadn't notice her come in, she was pretty hard to miss.

"I'm taking my break," he called to his boss, a sleepy looking woman in her mid-forties. She waved at him to go ahead. It was their quietest time of day and who was she to stop her handsomest waiter from talking to his pretty girlfriend. "You! Get back to work!" she scolded Natsu a second later. She had far less patience for the boy who nearly burnt down her kitchen on his first day of work.

"Hi." Gray slid into the booth opposite Erza, neatly depositing the cake before her. Erza's eyes lit up at the sight of the fluffy pink confection. "You know," she said casually, "this might be my absolute favourite place to get cake in the whole world."

"That's a bold statement, you haven't been to Alakitasia as yet. Not to a café anyway."

"Their climate is wholly unsuitable for growing strawberries, it is far too arid," she replied authoritatively. Gray snorted, unsurprised that she would know that. He wouldn't be surprised if she knew the intimate details of strawberry production the world over. Nothing rivalled Erza's passion for strawberry cake. Nothing. He watched as she lifted a forkful of cake to her mouth and took a bite, a beatific smile spreading across her face as she chewed. His mouth quirked at the sight.

"Natsu has settled in well hasn't he?" There was a hint of pride in her voice.

"Surprisingly. Shockingly. Who would've thought Natsu Dragneel would make a good fry cook?"

"I think the supervision is keeping him in line." The now-familiar sounds of the proprietor of the establishment berating Natsu wafted over to them. It was a miracle that Natsu was not giving her lip, Gray made a mental note to check if Natsu had a fever later. Maybe it was some kind of long-running illness that had him behaving like an adult.

"You working tonight?" he asked Erza. She only came in for a quick debrief when she knew she wouldn't be seeing them later.

"Yeah, I've got the late shift tonight." She had gotten work as a cigarette girl at a downtown bar, having realised early on that her temperament too was unsuited to long hours in the library. Or as Happy had unwisely put it, "She's a dummy too." He'd sported a large bump on his head for two days after that. The sounds of admonishment faded as the owner followed Natsu into the kitchen. For a few minutes there was no sound in the café but the clink of Erza's fork against china. She flicked her eyes towards Gray's fans and smiled to herself when she clocked the baleful glares she was receiving.

"Anything to report?" she asked in an undertone. It would not do to be overheard, especially when Gray's groupies were clearly straining themselves to listen in on their conversation.

He shook his head. "How much longer are we going to stay here?"

"A week or so, Lucy is almost finished with her research. She has a few promising leads for us to start with."

"The tablet?"

"No. She cannot recognise the language it is in."

"If only we could ask Levy or Freed over the communications lacrima."

Erza shot him a stern look. He knew full well that outside help was not allowed on the quest. That and they couldn't afford to call home more than once a month. They were not flush with cash, especially after the Ishgarian Jewel had almost collapsed in the wake of the war with the Alvarez Empire. The last three weeks had helped them to establish a cash buffer but they were still woefully poor. Every Giltenese Asteroid they earned went into the shared kitty. They were camping outside town, foraging for food in the woods and bathing at the public baths once a week. Part of the reason Natsu and Gray chose to work in a diner was the easy flow of information, the other part, the much larger part, was the free food. They even managed to sneak some to Wendy and the Exceeds every day. Scrounging for money was hellish experience but not one uncommon to the many Fiorian refugees who had fled the continent when the war began. For a war that lasted only a few days, the effects on the country had been cataclysmic. It was hard for anyone to feel safe in their homes after Irene Belserion's Universe One had reshaped their country. Families had been split apart, entire cities moved. Giltena might be overflowing with magical energy but to the commonfolk it was a safe haven, untouched by war and that was all that mattered.

"Natsu's getting restless," Gray said eventually. So was he, but he'd much prefer to use Natsu as an excuse.

"Soon," was all Erza could say, smiling apologetically. She knew Gray had to flirt extra hard with the customers for tips. She did too, but she minded it much less than she did. People never expected her to say much, in fact they preferred it; her small talk skills left something to be desired. But the tips she got as a cigarette girl were fantastic and Erza had never been particularly shy. She earned more in a night than Gray and Natsu did in a week. Still, having to politely dodge pawing clients without resorting to physical violence was taking something of a toll on her. Not to mention that she missed having access to a shower. She could not wait to move on to a smaller, cheaper town. Who had thought beds and plumbing would be considered luxury items on this mission. "Soon."

Three days later Lucy burst into their camp, eyes shining brightly. "I've got it! I know where the first key is!"


"This place is said to have been the site of a huge battle over a thousand years ago. Gods, dragons, demons and humans all met at the foot of this great hill. Hundreds of thousands perished. The land developed a reputation for being cursed. Rumour has it, any tribe that chose to settle upon this land was troubled by screams in the night and the sound of footsteps in the dark. Eeyah, I'm even scaring myself!" Lucy shuddered. The team crested the rise of a grassy knoll and came upon the mythical battlefield, an expanse of ochre flatland nestled in between a ring of verdant hillocks. "You can't imagine how hard it was for me to find this information, all I had to go on was two sentences in ancient Mildian!"

"That's so impressive Lucy-san," Wendy said.

"I suppose even you can be useful once in a while," Charle added in her usual haughty tone.

"That's our Lucy," Gray and Erza pronounced simultaneously. "That's my line- oof!" Gray started to say indignantly but he was crushed against Erza's armoured chest.

"How admirable of you to coordinate your thoughts with your nakama, Gray!" Erza declared.

"Hard!" was all Gray had to say in response.

"Enough talking, where is this guy? After being cooped up in a kitchen for three weeks, I'm ready for an intense workout," Natsu said, limbering up and setting his fists aflame.

"Aye Natsu, what's that in the middle of the battleground?" Happy squinted into the distance. It was a scorching day and the air shimmered hazily over the plain. Wendy wiped the sweat from her brow and peered at the horizon, dimly able to make out something protruding from the ground. The group moved swiftly towards their target to investigate. Smack in the middle of the battlefield rose a 20 foot tall statue of a three headed dog, its features still sharp despite the obvious age of the stone. Happy shivered at the sight of it and Charle scoffed at him, reminding him that it was a statue.

Lucy bent to see if there was anything inscribed on its base but no sooner had her hand made contact with the plinth, than the statue came roaring into life. The ground shook as the three headed dog leapt off its platform and came lolloping up to the rest of the group. "Play with me!" it howled in a singsong voice, eliciting sweatdrops from all the humans assembled. The Exceeds on the other hand, were shivering. "Sorry Natsu, you're on your own!" Happy called as he flew swiftly away.

"Come back here you coward!" Natsu shouted after him.

Charle moved with trembling feet to stand an inch before Wendy. "I-I'll protect you W-Wendy," she stammered, before letting out a huge sob of apology and flying away right behind Happy. It looked like even cats with wings could not mix well with dogs.

"Play with me," the giant dog whined again, his tongue lolled out of his mouth and giant globules of saliva splashed at the wizards' feet. Only the middle head of the three was awake. The other two had their eyes closed, seemingly asleep. The dog's 10 foot long tail wagged behind it impatiently, sending gusts of air to and fro.

"We are here for the Key bestowed upon you by the Heavenly Emperor," Erza stated firmly, "Hand it over."

"Play. With. Me," the three-headed beast repeated petulantly. It pawed the ground restlessly, sending slight tremors through it.

"I think it's related to the silver Celestial Spirit Key of Cerberus!" Lucy called to the others rather unhelpfully.

"Wasn't that the name of Cobra's snake?" Natsu wondered aloud.

"No you dummy, that was Cubelious!"

"Doesn't matter, it's time for plan B – beat someone up!" Natsu activated the flames on his fists and got ready to charge, but Gray stopped him. "No, remember what Master said before we left? Quests are never straightforward. Maybe we are meant to do as it asks and play with it?"

"Yes. I shall play with this beast! Requip!" A yellow light glowed around Erza and she reappeared in a skin tight catsuit with pink shoulder pads and shin guards. A giant boomerang materialised in her hand. "Fetch!" she yelled, flinging the weapon with as much force as she could muster.

"What the hell Erza, why do you have a giant boomerang?!" Gray was incredulous.

"I was told it was useful for slaying demons, I thought you would know all about it," Erza replied, mildly surprised. She had only gotten herself a Demon Slayer Armour in the eventuality that Gray and her were paired up in battle.

"Um, Erza-san, did you forget that boomerangs tend to come back!" Wendy wailed, diving out of the way. Natsu and Gray were not quite as lucky and were sent flying when the boomerang caught them around the midsection. Erza followed their trajectory with her eyes and realised too late that the sudden shadow that fell upon her was that of an oversized dog eagerly chasing a boomerang. Moments later she found herself being crushed by 8 tonnes of dog. "Why is its underside so wet after baking in the sun for decades?" Erza wondered idly to the tiny tweeting birds that circled her head before she lost consciousness.

"Erza-san!" the little healer called out, trying desperately to dodge the now antsy Guardian beast so that she could administer first aid to her comrade.

Natsu burned the boomerang to a crisp to prevent him and Gray from being carried away too far, but that made the two of them plummet to the ground, sending up clouds of dust. Their ensuing argument was cut short when they noticed Wendy hauling an unconscious Erza off to the side.

"The key is inside this plinth!" Lucy exclaimed suddenly, running her fingers over the characters she had just translated, "I just need to figure out this riddle to get it open!"

"Hey, no, you sneaky humans! You're supposed to play with me first!" the dog barked angrily. Its other two heads came to life, blinking irritably in the bright midday sun.

"Now just a doggone minute!" the right head roared, realising what was happening.

"Who do you whelps think you are? We're going to get you for this," the left head jeered. The three headed beast hurdled towards Lucy, foaming at the mouth.

"Not on my watch you don't! Fire Dragon Iron Fist!" Natsu crashed his knuckles into the Guardian's right head.

"Ice Make: Hammer!" the block of ice slammed onto the Guardian's tail, pinning it down.

"Sky Dragon Wing Attack!" yelled Wendy, getting in on the action and buffeting the dog's remaining two heads with arcs of air.

The Guardian Beast shook its heads, the attacks rolling off it like water off a duck's back. One thump of its tail later and the ice hammer was gone. The three Fairy Tail wizards made a tight ring around Lucy, protecting her while she worked on decoding the riddle on the plinth. Crux hovered in the air next to her, a bubble of snot escaping from his nose as he meditated. However, tightening their formation left them vulnerable to a direct attack. Sensing their folly the three mages simultaneously unleashed their magic before the Guardian Beast could take advantage.

"Fire Dragon Roar!"

"Ice Make: Lance!"

"Sky Dragon Roar!"

The three attacks managed to fling the beast back some distance, giving the group some more room to defend themselves. They spread out to prevent the Beast from taking them all down with a single strike.

"Heaven's Wheel: Pentagram Sword!" Five flashes of steel branded the Guardian Spirit's side as a winged blur of red and silver whizzed past. It seemed Erza had recovered thanks to Wendy's quick thinking. She was back in the game.

"Ile Arms, Ile Armour, Ile Vernier: Enchant!" A ball of green energy enveloped Wendy before shooting off towards her comrades, enhancing their speed, attack and defence. Erza requipped into her Morning Star Armour and sent a Photon Slicer at the Guardian Spirit but it had little impact. The Guardian's muscles rippled across its considerable bulk. It was too big, too strong, too impervious to their attacks.

The four mages steadfastly rained down attacks on the three-headed hound, but it seemed to take almost no damage. The most they were able to do was keep it away from Lucy, buying her time to solve the riddle. Sweat dripped down their foreheads, obscuring their vision. They could not keep this up, the Beast was going to make its way past them to Lucy. They were running out of magic energy and it was barely out of breath. It was time to pull out the big guns. Gray stripped off his shirt and released the energy he kept sealed in this right hand, letting the darkness travel up his arm and halfway across his torso.

"Ice Devil's Zeroth Destruction Bow!" Gray drew the arrow as far back as possible, the string of the bow stretched to its limit. The icy arrow made contact with the beast seconds before Erza hit it with a Fairy Burst from her Armadura Fairy Armour.

"Fire Dragon King Destruction Fist!" Natsu barrelled into the dog, knocking out one of its three heads.

All four were panting heavily now. Wendy was barely able to keep the magic up on her enchantments, she didn't have any spare for an attack. Healing Erza earlier had used too much magic. The Guardian beast yowled, the two conscious heads angered by their loss of a companion and finally decided to retaliate. It sent massive arcs of pure wind energy towards them with its tail, buffeting the mages and scattering them across the battle field. Wendy was able to inhale one of the attacks and replenish her energy but the beast was sending forth too many too quickly. It was all she could do to defend herself. The others were barely able to stand in the face of such an onslaught.

"Lucy, have you thought of maybe smashing the damn thing and pulling the key out!" Gray yelled, his arms crossed in front of his face in a futile attempt to shield himself.

"I can't, we have to be 'just in our endeavours' remember? That would be cheating!" Lucy cried back, looking worriedly towards a sleeping Crux. She had summoned the spirit hoping he would be able to find an answer to the riddle but the Celestial Spirit had drawn blank so far.

"Damn it! What the hell is this stupid riddle anyway?" Natsu shouted, back-flipping away from yet another wind blade from the Hound.

"Come on Happy, we have to help!" Charle cried out, zooming in towards the group from the sky. The Exceeds could face their fears if it meant protecting their comrades. They only hoped they had not arrived too late.

"Aye Sir!" Happy picked Natsu up in his hands, carrying him out of range of the destructive gale.

Meanwhile, Lucy had summoned Taurus, his hulking form shielding her from most of the wind. However, she could feel his strength ebbing with every blast from the Dog's tail. She was seconds away from abandoning the cause and going to help her friends. "'A girl was walking down the street when she saw a stray dog. She was overcome by a desire to feed it, but alas her hands were empty. However, she fed the dog anyway. How?' Argh! What the hell kind of idiotic riddle is this!" Lucy screamed in frustration.

"With food from her pocket of course!" replied Natsu and Happy in unison.

"With food from her pocket?" Lucy repeated in disbelief. She was ready to let forth a torrent of abuse towards Natsu and Happy for their absurd answer when the plinth under her hand began to glow. The Guardian Spirit ceased its attacks immediately.

"Correct!" the two conscious heads crowed, "the Key is yours!"

"Eh?" Lucy turned blue with shock.

The platform before her opened up and an iridescent key the length of her forearm floated out. She quickly picked it up before the platform deemed that answer unacceptable (How on earth had it been acceptable?) and sucked the key back in. Charle and Happy descended slowly, setting Wendy and Natsu back on the ground. The other battered wizards slowly picked themselves up off the ground. Erza wiped the blood trickling from her split lip and requipped into her usual Heart Kreuz Armour. She was exhausted. Nearby Gray was retrieving his shirt, shaking the dust off it before putting it back on.

Natsu walked up to the Guardian Spirit and grinned sheepishly. "Hey dog man, no hard feelings right?"

"Next time you won't even get the chance to land a single punch," the left head taunted.

"Next time, you're going to play with me!" the middle head chimed in. The right head drooped off to the side, still out cold. The spirit was starting to dissolve into diffuse bubbles of iridescent light. "It's time for us to go."

Natsu and Gray found themselves being forced into a bow by an armoured hand. Erza stood between them and bowed deeply as well. "Thank you," she intoned. Wendy and Lucy found themselves doing the same. When she looked up, Lucy could have sworn she saw the two heads of the dog wink at her before they disappeared completely.

"What did you need to go thank it for?" Natsu asked sharply.

"It went easy on us, did you not notice?"

Natsu pouted and looked away. He had definitely noticed and he hadn't liked it one bit.

'If that was them taking it easy,' Lucy thought, 'what exactly have we signed ourselves up for?''


A/N: I honestly think I warbled on for a thousand words in the beginning just so I could put off writing the battle scene for as long as possible. Asteroids are a currency I made up for Giltena. It's weird enough they speak the same language across 3 continents, let's give them some variation in terms of currency at least.

Next time Gray and Erza take a bath together! Should I upgrade it to an M rating? There will be no hanky panky, just good old fashioned back-washing.