2
Hunting with the Cullens was… weird. I'd never thought about drinking anything other than human blood before. Victoria had always made it clear that was the only option. It was survival. It was nature. But the Cullens operated on some other level entirely.
"Animals are enough," Carlisle had said gently, his golden eyes meeting mine. "You don't need to take human lives to live."
I wasn't sure I believed him. Still, I followed them into the dense forest, my instincts flaring as I caught the faint, warm trails of scent crisscrossing the woods. The Cullens moved quickly, silently, their pale forms darting through the trees like shadows. They looked like they belonged here. Like they'd always been part of this wild, untamed world.
I wasn't like that. I was awkward, hesitant, my steps too loud, my senses overwhelmed.
Jasper hung back with me, his presence a strange mix of calm and authority. "Don't overthink it," he said, his voice low and even. "Let the instincts guide you."
Instincts. Sure. My instincts were screaming at me to run back to Bella, to drown in the heady sweetness of her scent and ignore everything else as I satisfied my thirst for blood. But I forced myself to stay. For her.
The scent of a herd hit me like a wave, musky and earthy, nothing like the human blood I craved. It didn't make my throat burn the same way, but my body reacted anyway. Hunger was hunger.
Emmett took down the first deer, his massive frame a blur of motion as he snapped its neck effortlessly. He glanced back at me, a grin tugging at his lips. "Your turn, newbie."
I hesitated, the hunger clawing at me. I lunged for the nearest deer, my movements clumsy but effective. The animal struggled briefly before going limp in my arms.
The taste was… strange. Bland compared to the memory of human blood, but satisfying in a different way. It felt cleaner, somehow.
By the time I finished, my eyes watered, and Jasper nodded approvingly. "Gold suits you," he said. "Most newborns don't get golden eyes for at least a year."
I didn't care. All I could think about was Bella.
"Can we go back now?" I asked, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
Alice laughed softly. "Impatient, aren't we?"
I shrugged, feeling the burn in my throat ease but not disappear entirely. It wasn't just hunger driving me now. It was something deeper. Something I didn't fully grasp. For some reason, I felt more of a kinship with her - the human - than I did with any of my fellow vampires.
The Cullens exchanged glances, their silent communication both comforting and unnerving. Finally, Carlisle nodded. "Let's head back."
The house was quiet when we returned. Bella was curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over her shoulders. She looked smaller somehow, like grief had carved pieces out of her.
"Bella," I called softly, stepping into the room.
Her eyes opened slowly, and she gave me a tired smile. "Hey."
I was at her side in an instant, sitting on the edge of the couch. "Are you okay?" I asked, my voice low.
She nodded, though the motion seemed more reflexive than genuine. "You look different," she said, her gaze flicking to my eyes. "They're… lighter."
"Yeah," I said awkwardly. "Gold, apparently. It's a… thing."
Her lips twitched, almost forming a smile. "You're doing it for them, aren't you? The Cullens."
I shook my head. "I'm doing it for you."
Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn't pull away. "Why?"
I didn't have a good answer. Not one that made sense, anyway. "Because it's worth it," I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. "To be friends with you."
She stared at me for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then, without a word, she leaned against me, her warmth seeping into my cold skin.
I didn't know what this was, or what it would become. All I knew was that I wasn't leaving her. Not now. Not ever.
Bella was warm. Not just physically—though her body always felt like a living flame against my cold skin—but in the way she looked at me, talked to me, touched me. I wasn't used to it. Affection had never been part of my life, not as a human and definitely not as a vampire. But Bella gave it freely, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Are you okay?" she asked me for the third time that day, her fingers brushing against mine as she handed me a book.
I wasn't reading it. I didn't even care what the title was. All I could think about was the way her hand had lingered, the way her eyes searched mine like she was looking for something only I could give her.
"I'm fine," I said, though the words felt as hollow as they had before.
Bella didn't press me. She just sat next to me on the couch, close enough that our shoulders touched. The contact was electric. It made me feel real, solid, like I wasn't just a mistake waiting to happen.
"Thank you," she said softly, after a while.
"For what?"
"For staying."
The way she said it, like she thought I had a choice—like she didn't realize I'd already decided there was nowhere else I could possibly go—left me speechless.
Two days later, I found her in the corner of the Cullens' massive library, her arms wrapped around her knees, her face buried against them. She was crying quietly, the sound barely audible, but I heard it as clearly as if she'd screamed.
"Bella?" I said hesitantly, stepping closer.
She looked up, her cheeks wet, her eyes rimmed red. "I'm fine," she said, her voice shaky.
"No, you're not," I said, kneeling beside her. "What's wrong?"
She gave a hollow laugh, wiping at her face. "What isn't?"
I didn't know what to say to that. I sat down next to her, close but not touching. "Is it Edward?"
Her shoulders trembled, and she nodded. "It's always Edward."
The pain in her voice hit me harder than I expected. I wanted to say something, anything, to make it better, but nothing came. Instead, I reached out slowly, hesitating for a moment before placing my hand on her arm.
"I lost someone too," I said quietly.
Her gaze flicked to me, her expression softening. "Who?"
"Diego," I said, the name coming out rough and uneven. It hurt to say it, but it also felt… necessary. "He was… he was like Edward to me. I mean, not the same, but… he mattered. He made me feel like there was something more to all of this. Like I wasn't just a monster."
Bella shifted closer, her hand brushing against mine. "What happened?"
I swallowed hard. "Victoria. She used him. Tricked him into trusting her. Like she tricked all of us. And then… she killed him."
The words hung between us, heavy and raw. For a moment, neither of us spoke. Then Bella leaned her head against my shoulder, her warmth seeping into me.
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
"I'm sorry too," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.
We stayed like that for what felt like hours, holding onto each other as the world outside faded away.
Bella's warmth against my shoulder felt like a lifeline in a storm, steady and grounding. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I didn't feel completely alone.
After a while, Bella shifted slightly, leaning back just enough to look up at me. Her eyes were still glassy from crying, but there was a softness in them that caught me off guard.
"You have really beautiful hair," she said suddenly, her voice quiet but sincere.
I blinked, thrown by the unexpected compliment. "What?"
"Your hair," she said again, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "It's so long and shiny. I noticed it earlier, but I didn't say anything."
I reached up, almost self-consciously, running my fingers through the dark brown strands that fell to my waist. "Oh. Thanks, I guess. I don't really do anything with it."
"Well, it's beautiful," Bella insisted, brushing a strand of it off my shoulder.
I stared at her, searching her expression for some hint of mockery or ulterior motive. But there was nothing. Just honesty.
"Beautiful?" I repeated, the word foreign on my tongue. No one had ever said that to me before, not unless they wanted something. Not unless they were lying.
Bella nodded, her smile growing a little. "Yeah. You're beautiful, Bree."
Something inside me twisted painfully, a mix of emotions I couldn't name. I looked away, my throat tight. "No, I'm not. I'm… I'm just me."
"What's wrong with that?" she asked gently.
I didn't have an answer.
Her hand found mine, her fingers warm against my icy skin. "You're not used to people saying nice things to you, are you?"
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.
"Well, get used to it," she said with a teasing lilt, though her tone remained soft. "Because I mean it. You're beautiful. And not just on the outside. You've been so kind to me, Bree. I don't think I would've made it through the past couple of days without you."
The lump in my throat grew bigger. "You don't have to say that."
"I'm not saying it because I have to," Bella replied. "I'm saying it because it's true."
For a moment, all I could do was look at her. Her grief was still etched into her features, but there was something else there too—a warmth, a kindness that felt like sunlight breaking through clouds.
"Thank you," I managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper.
Bella smiled again, and this time it reached her eyes. "Anytime."
I didn't know what this was, this strange connection between us. But as she leaned her head back against my shoulder, I decided it didn't matter. For the first time in my short second life, I felt… seen.
I didn't leave Bella's side after that. It wasn't something we talked about or planned—it just happened. Wherever she went, I followed, and she didn't seem to mind. If anything, she welcomed it.
Bella wasn't like anyone I'd ever met. She didn't ask for space or try to hide her emotions. She didn't ask me to leave. She didn't get angry if I left for a while. She just accepted me. When she cried, she let me hold her. When she wanted to talk, she talked. When she didn't, we sat in silence, the air between us warm and full of unspoken understanding.
I'd never had anything like this before. Not even with Diego.
At first, I thought I might be annoying her, clinging like this, but every time I started to pull back, she'd look at me with those big, soulful eyes and shake her head. "Stay," she'd say, so simply and earnestly that it erased any doubt.
It became our routine. We'd sit in the Cullens' living room or out on the back porch, talking for hours. I told her about Diego, about the way he'd made me feel like I wasn't only a weapon. She told me about Edward, about his old-fashioned charm and the way he'd looked at her like she was his whole world.
The more we talked, the more I saw the parallels between us. Diego had been my light in the darkness, the one who made me believe I could be more than what I'd been made into. Edward had been that for Bella too. We'd lost them both to the same vampire.
"I don't know how you do it," I admitted one night as we sat together on the porch swing. The moonlight caught the tears drying on her cheeks, making them shimmer like silver. She'd been with Edward for much longer than I had with Diego. "You're so strong. I don't think I could survive what you've been through."
Bella laughed softly, though there was no humor in it. "I don't feel strong," she said. "Most of the time, I feel like I'm falling apart. But then I think about what Edward would want for me. He wouldn't want me to give up."
I nodded, understanding more than I could put into words. Diego wouldn't have wanted me to give up, either.
"I think…" I hesitated, the thought forming as I spoke. "I think I want to be more like him. Like Edward."
Bella turned to me, her brow furrowing slightly. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I want to be… good. Like he was. He didn't let what he was turn him into a monster. He made choices, even when they were hard. I want to be like that."
Bella's expression softened, and she reached out to take my hand. "You already are," she said quietly.
The weight of her words settled over me, living and important. I wasn't sure if I believed her, but I wanted to.
For the first time since I'd been turned, I felt like I had a purpose. Like maybe, just maybe, I could be something more than the shadow Victoria had made me.
And Bella—Bella made me feel like I could do anything.
