It's been a while. I know. But I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it TwT


Prima Materia

Five. | What It Takes to Take the First Step


|Six Months Later. Northwest England; Somewhere in Liverpool.|

This has to be it.

Amethyst eyes blinked back at the rickety old church that stood just on the other side of a short stone fence a few feet away and grimaced.

God, please let this be it.

It didn't appear to be anything special. Certainly, if anybody asked Celia where a redheaded gambling addict, self-proclaimed wine connoisseur, and renowned womanizer were most likely to be found, a church like the one she stood in front of now would be last on her list of possibilities. Then again after having lived with Cross for that short year this really wouldn't be the worst place she would have found him. She could certainly think of a handful much worse than this one.

Nevertheless, she blinked incredulously at the seemingly dilapidated church before taking a long, drawn-out breath. Frankly, after the past half a year of searching with no avail and only long shots to go by, this was by far the shortest one. So no harm in trying for the 1000th time, she supposed.

Celia sauntered past the small fence and down the pebbled walkway that led her through the rather well kept yard only to give a few well-placed knocks upon the old wooden door. Waiting for a second, her head tilted to one side at the ruckus she overheard from beyond it. Before long, the lock clicked and the door opened. Ready as she was to speak up to whoever answered, Celia blinked at finding no one before her until she lowered her gaze and found that the one who had opened the door for her was an old woman only a few inches shorter than her.

"Yes?"

Shaking her stupor away, Celia finally spoke up. "Good morning. My name is Celia Valentine, ma'am." She took a short pause to courtesy before the old woman, a habit instilled by Jerry that even after months of not practicing had stayed with her, and flashed her a charming smile. "I'm really sorry to bother you so early like this, but I'm currently searching for someone and I believe he is here in this church."

The old woman took one step outside and leaned on the threshold of the door to better inspect her. Celia fidgeted a bit in place yet never let her smile disappear despite how much her lips twitched at the scrutiny. "And would you be coming on behalf of the Black Order?"

Celia recoiled at the mention but kept her smile even then. Unconsciously though, her hand rose from her side to cover the silver Rose Cross emblem stitched on her coat. Though it did somewhat surprise her that the old lady knew of the Order, Celia didn't allow it to throw her off the conversation at hand.

"I am part of them, ma'am, but I'm actually here on a more personal matter."

"Which would be the man you're searching for?"

Celia paused for a brief moment. She knows who I'm looking for—he's here. She smiled wider.

"Yes."

"Well," the old lady huffed as she readied to turn and close the door, her hand grasping the doorknob already, "sad to break it to you but there's no one here that the Order would be interested in—"

"DAMN BRAT!"

Both of them buckled a bit at the cacophonous bellow that reverberated throughout the stone walls of the church and clearly heard beyond them. What happened next did so in less than a second. Her foot went forward the instant the old lady attempted closing the door on her. Though her smile faltered from the pain that shot up her leg, Celia didn't let it cut her triumph short.

"Like I said," she gaudily said, "I'm not here on the Order's behalf. I'm just here 'cause I have something to ask the mangy old priest. If you just let me have a word with him, I'll be outta your hair before you know it, ma'am."

Unable to dissuade her, the old woman clicked her tongue derisively before gesturing inside with a nod of her head. "Come on in."

Smiling from ear to ear, Celia did as she was told, sauntering in while muttering a curt 'pardon the intrusion' as she closed the door behind her and followed after the old lady. It surprised her that despite the grand appearance the outside gave, the church wasn't that big in actuality. It made finding Cross much faster and easier than she thought as she found him sitting down before an old wooden dinner table, huffing about something or another while biting down on a lit cigarette.

"C—agh!"

A single consonant. That's all she got out before a huge golden ball darted straight at her and tackled her down. Though she tried talking over the weight pressing on her stomach, only laughter escaped her as the golem licked at her face incessantly, its wings and tail flapping and wagging enthused.

"T-Timcanpy! Don't—get off me, Tim!"

Just as she was about to give him one big push, something pulled Tim off of her, allowing her a chance at last to catch her breath. Above her, staring daggers with a single wine-red eye, stood Cross Marian as he held Timcanpy by his tail over her.

"What are you doing here, Valentine?"

Celia chuckled nervously, eyes darting every which way to avoid his glare. "I, um, came looking for you 'cause, well, I...I missed you?"

Ballsy lie, she knew, and Cross didn't believe it for a second. Dropping Tim, the large golem fell atop her stomach and pushed all air out of her lungs before rolling off of her. Just when she thought she'd be let go with that, Cross hauled her up by the scruff of her coat to drop her dead center on the closest chair and took the nearest to him while she busied herself with rubbing her pained bottom.

"Don't lie to me," he deadpanned.

"B-But I'm not!" Cross slammed his open hand against the table and startled the truth out of her faster than words ever would've. "I-I'm here because of the letter you sent to Komui-san!"

"Letter?"

Celia nodded vigorously and looked right at him as she continued, her hands gripping the hem of her coat for moral support. "I found it in my archives back at Headquarters. You sent him a letter about Hand of God and about someone named Ashford."

Her voice appeared to echo in the silence that followed. Only for a second though. Soon enough, Cross let out an exasperated exhale before leaning all his weight back against his chair.

"Listen here, twerp, you need to leave. Now. I don't want the Order finding me."

"Oh, they won't." As she perkily said this, Tim flew over and nestled himself on her lap as she pushed her arms up and over him to talk to Cross from there. "I ditched the Finders who were escorting me on my last mission and got rid of the golem they gave me too. As far as they know, the last place they saw me was six months ago between Poland and Romania."

"Regardless, you're not staying a second longer. I have enough already looking after one runt—"

"Father!" Celia perked at the voice calling out from where she just now noticed a small tuft of smoke was coming from. "The porridge is burning!"

Cross cursed under his breath but nonetheless hurried to the kitchen to answer whoever had called after him. Left alone with only Timcanpy, she looked down at the golem and pursed her lips.

He'd grown. A lot.

"You got fat."

Celia chuckled at the angry huffs Tim let out and patted his head in an attempt to appease him. While petting him, though, she noted how for a brief moment when she lifted her hand, the familiar crawling sensation scurried under her fingertips. Her fingers twitched and the smallest of emerald sparks flew into the air, swiveling away to the door furthest away from where she'd come from. The sensation remained as she held her hand over Tim's head and became even more persistent when she reached out her hand towards it, the electricity coming to life and visibly whirling towards the closed door.

Curious, Celia moved Tim aside and placed him on the chair in her stead as she went ahead to the door that appeared to beckon her. With great care, she took the doorknob into her hand, the swirls of emerald electricity vanishing under her skin on contact, and gently pushed the door open.

On the other side of it was one very tiny room with an even smaller child inside. Despite it being so dark within it, the solitary window that stood opposite the door she now held slightly ajar let enough of the early sunlight pass for her to look inside at the boy that sat curled up at the far end of the bed. He wasn't moving or doing anything much. He literally sat there still as a statue, the messy tuft of what looked to be white hair protruding from where he buried his face against the arms that hugged his knees closer to his chest. Such a weird boy had Celia tilting her head with intrigue and had her stepping past the threshold into the room itself.

The sharp teeth of Timcanpy had her exclaiming in a hushed yelp at the golem as she slapped him off of her leg. "Ow, Tim! What's the matter with you?" she hissed at the golem only for him to grumble something back in argument.

Or at least...she thought that had been Tim. It wasn't until she was forcefully keeping his mouth shut and yet still heard the grumbling that she gave a second thought as to what that actually had been. When she heard it again coming from behind her this time, it clicked. The burnt porridge, the boy—Cross had been making breakfast.

He's hungry.

Sympathy came over her as she released Tim and instead focused on the boy before her. She hadn't noticed when he moved but he must have in between her bout with Tim because Celia could now see a glimpse of his face. A very tiny one that was basically just his eye, but that was enough to give her some sense of how he was. Wide-eyed on his right eye with bandages on the left side of his face, eye included.

Whatever happened to him couldn't have been good.

Setting that aside for the moment, Celia concentrated more on the most pressing matter: his hunger. Carelessly, she came over to the bed and sat on the edge across from him and faced him with a smile.

"Hi." No answer. Celia gave it another moment before repeating it again, but with the same results.

Pursing her lips, she was about to go at it again while looking up from below to maybe grasp his attention, when the door behind them was suddenly thrown back against the wall. All she did, however, was glance over her shoulder to see Cross as he stood at the threshold of the door with a rather sour look on his face.

He didn't say anything. Didn't encourage her nor, what she assumed he'd rushed there to do, stop her. Even if he had, she wouldn't have listened to him. The kid needed to eat.

"Hey, are you okay?" Celia leaned forward just a tiny bit but with no reaction nor answer, she moved back to give him some space before smiling back at him once again. Let's take a different approach. "My name's Celia. What's yours?"

No answer again. Not even any sort of eye contact. The little fellow was just staring out wide-eyed into the distance at something she couldn't think she'd be able to see even if she tried. Yet it wouldn't deter her. Not when she'd already met her fair share of maladaptive kids to know giving up wasn't an option.

"You don't like talking? That's okay. I have a friend who doesn't like talking a lot either." If one could call Kanda's rather sour disposition 'reserved' then she wasn't really lying. " I'll just talk if that's okay. Anyway, I think I heard your tummy grumble just a little bit ago. Are you hungry?" Pause. Silence. Celia's smile remained. "Have you not eaten yet?"

"Celia." Hearing her name, Celia turned towards Cross who still stood by the doorway with a rather expectant expression on him. He didn't waste a second in motioning her out towards the door. "Let's go, come on. Leave Allen alone."

"Allen?" Her smile brightened as she turned back to the boy. "So your name's Allen? That's a great name! Can I call you Al?"

"Celia."

She ignored him.

"You know, I think Cross was making some porridge just now. It's a little burnt from what I could smell, but it should still be edible. He's not that great of a cook but considering how early it is, a little burnt porridge will do you some good, don't you think?"

"Ce—" She didn't even let him finish this time.

"C'mon, let's go get some food together and talk some more, alright?"

Celia reached out her hand towards him, ready to take him by the hand and lead him towards the small kitchen she'd seen Cross disappear into, but she had just barely touched the back of his hand when Allen reacted. There wasn't any avoiding it. She'd been too off guard to even consider dodging. So when Allen reacted on instinct because of her intrusion and reeled his left hand out at her, there was little she could do except take the backhand straight to the face. In that instant, her vision flashed white and tiny emerald sparks charged at the impact his hand made across her cheek as she fell back off of the bed and onto the floor.

"Goddamn it."

Was that Cross? It was hard to tell. Her vision was still blurry with dots of white flashing across her vision. Not only that but her hearing was strange, somewhat muffled after the hit and with a high-pitched ringing in her ear. Both left as quickly as they came and Celia had to blink away the shock left behind from the sudden action. Her jaw ached. She could taste something salty and metallic in her mouth too. Spitting it out into her hand, Celia saw the bit of blood mixed in with her saliva. Licking the corner of her mouth, she yet again tasted metal.

That's one strong arm.

Ignoring Cross's questioning of whether she'd lost any teeth, Celia stood up from where she'd fallen and wiped her bloody spit off on her coat before approaching Allen once more. When she tried climbing back on it, she felt Cross's coarse hands trying to pull her away and pushed him away instead. Before long, she sat back on the bed, this time a few good inches in front of Allen and opting to sit with her legs beneath her and her hands visible on her lap. Tilting her head to one side, Celia smiled despite the bit of blood marring the right corner of her lip and the angry swelling on her cheek.

"I'm sorry about startling you, Allen." She spoke with a quieter tone. Gentler even. Through the silence that followed, Celia waited, only choosing to continue speaking when she noticed the small way his exposed eye slowly lifted to meet hers. "You pack a bit of a punch in that arm, huh? Felt like I'd fallen face-first into the concrete. But it's alright. It's nothing I can't take," she boasted.

"Why...aren't you...angry?"

Celia gasped not so much at the sound of his voice but at his words. That hoarse, broken voice spoke four words in a way that told her what he had expected to be her reaction: anger. Even when what happened hadn't been entirely his fault.

"It's kinda my fault," Celia responded while sharing with him a kind smile. "I shouldn't have gotten so much in your face like I did. That was wrong of me, even if I just wanted to cheer you up. Y'know, I'm scolded a lot by others 'cause of that, too. They say I poke my nose in things I shouldn't and end up in trouble." Sure that was mostly Kanda who repeatedly reminded her of such shortcomings but it didn't take away the fact that she kind of agreed with him to a certain degree. She kept that to herself though. "But you know what? Meddling is just something I do nowadays. I realized that just because something bad doesn't have to do with me, it doesn't mean that it doesn't matter. That's why I wanted to cheer you up, Allen, because you look like you're not in a very good place right now."

Lowering her gaze, Celia slowly scooted closer to Allen. Inch by inch, she measured his response until she sat close enough to be able to see the somewhat dull yet beautiful silver color of his eye.

"I was in a really bad place too some years ago, and I'd still be there if I hadn't found people who cared about me and tried their best to help get through it with me."

The hands she rested on her lap curled into fists taking some of her coat's fabric with them. This time when she smiled, that silver eye of his widened ever so slightly and gave Celia the courage to try once more. Even when her cheek ached as a reminder, she still carefully reached out her hands towards him and watched carefully for any sign that could be his way of warning her to stay away. Unlike before however, Allen only mildly flinched when she laid her hands gently on top of his. Not even the emerald sparks came to life this time at their skin-to-skin contact. All there was between them now was the gentle hold she had on his fisted hands that held onto dear life themselves as they gripped at his knees.

"That's why I wanted to help make you feel better. Because you look like you're hurting, Allen. Hurting in a way that even when I don't know what happened, I can still understand it." His downtrodden state, the way his dull gaze gave no emotion except deep-seated regret and sadness—he reminded her too much of Rosalia and of how overtaken she had become by her grief of losing Red. Of how she herself looked after the fire whenever she gazed at a mirror those first few months. "That feeling of deep-seated despair that just wants to swallow you whole and you feel like you want to let it. Of wanting to just waste away because you'd prefer that than to face such a bleak tomorrow. I know what that's like."

Celia's hands moved slightly and when Allen didn't seem deterred by her touch any longer, she took either of his hands in her hand and let her fingers cradle his smaller ones in hers. His right felt soft while his left a little rougher, yet as Celia tenderly held onto both in her grasp only one word came to mind.

Warm.

"And I also know what it's like on the other side of that pain. That even when it feels vast and endless, there is another side to it. The pain might not leave completely and maybe it'll remain no matter how much time passes, but it will dull, and once that happens you'll see that the other side of it wasn't that far off, after all. Especially not when there are other people helping you get through it. So, if it's okay with you, can I help you, Allen?"

His brow furrowed as much as it possibly could beneath the bandages that covered his face, something that Celia caught a glimpse of, but before she could say anything about it, Allen spoke yet again.

"...why?"

Why?

That...was a good question. One with a very simple answer in her opinion.

"Because I think you need a friend, Al." Just like I did. "And I wanna be your friend!"

There was silence for what felt like the longest time ever. The heaviness of it began to suffocate Celia quickly enough but before it could overwhelm her completely, she felt it. She felt the way his hands flinched ever so slightly before reciprocating her grip with a much milder grasp. It was then, just as she was about to offer him a smile, that she saw the small tears that sprung so silently from his eye. Her chest tightened at the gesture. Allen was clearly so scared and so remorseful about whatever had happened to him. He obviously didn't see himself as deserving kindness.

But he was.

"Be kind to your brothers and sisters, Celia. Someday it may be all that you have to give them. And sometimes that will be more than enough."

Everybody is.

The sudden sound of his belly rumbling surprised the two of them and had Celia letting out a small chuckle before leaning forward until her forehead touched his.

"I'm hungry, too. Does porridge sound good to you?"

His fingers curled around her hand even tighter and she felt him nod against her slowly earning an even brighter smile.

"I'll get some so we can eat together then!"


"I'm staying."

The lit cigarette that laid in-between Cross's lips fell as Celia's declaration left him astounded. Timcanpy took the chance at a snack and chomped the butt of the cigarette before the lit part could cause any damage on the floor. Once properly having digested what she said, Cross responded the way she thought he would and promptly shouted back at her.

"Like hell you are!"

Unaffected by the shouting, Celia merely pursed her lips in distaste as the mangy old priest continued on with his tirade. What was he so opposed to anyway? It's not like he could take care of a kid. The fact he sent her off to Headquarters so readily after one mishap too many made that abundantly clear to her. And despite a child taking care of another child not being the ideal thing either, Celia surmised it was better than nothing. And when he was finally done berating her, she turned back to tell him exactly that.

"Are you really going to take care of Allen by yourself?"

"Of course I am!" he yelled back.

"Like you took care of me?" Cross's mouth was already open before she even finished her sentence, ready to retort, but hearing it out in its entirety had him at a loss for words. Anticipating this, Celia sighed before shaking her head. "You can't take care of him properly. Let me help."

There was a moment's pause. Long enough for her to eye the other two people there witnessing this whole squabble go down. The old lady, whom she overheard Cross call Mother, and the other man she heard be called Baba stood at the sidelines as spectators. Granny Mother seemed pensive as she continued to take puffs out of her pipe meanwhile Baba appeared to be nervous for the both of them. Celia, on her part, wasn't all that bothered by Cross's sudden pacing about the tiny dining room. Perhaps a bit nervous, but in the past couple of years of being apart from him, Celia realized there were far scarier things than him. Compared to a certain snake, Cross was a peach.

But if he wanted her gone, there was a simple way to get her out of his hair.

"You want me to leave? Fine, but only under one condition."

Cross halted on his heels and grumbled back at her over his shoulder. "Are you haggling with me?"

"Yes." Celia didn't miss a beat even when a rather visible vein popped on Cross's temple. Clearing her throat and mustering a bit of courage from Timcanpy who sat on her lap, she gave her piece. "I will leave peacefully and without reproach only after you tell me what you know about this Ashford person."

The silence was tangible. Celia would've had enough to feed them all had she had the knife to cut it. The solemn expression that came across Cross's face left her at a loss for words. Something about it upset her, almost like she'd brought up a subject that she shouldn't have. It definitely was more intense than the non-answer he gave her when she brought it up at first arriving. But this meant she hadn't imagined what she'd seen then either. Cross had purposefully ignored her words before when mentioning Ashford. Whoever they were, he recognized the name, and now this sudden sobriety told her he kept quiet about it deliberately.

Before her mind could continue to run wild with even more speculations, Cross heaved a long sigh before dropping onto the nearest chair so brusquely and out of the blue that it spooked her in her own seat.

"I'm not taking care of you," Cross said. "My priority is the brat. Don't expect anything from me like before."

Does he consider what he did back then as taking care of me? Keeping the snark to herself, she shook her head as a bit of hope rose in her chest.

"T-That's okay. If I can stay and help Allen get better, I'm fine with that, too."

Despite still being quite interested in what Cross knew about this Ashford person, prodding away when she was already on thin ice as it was didn't seem like a good idea. Besides, the mere fact that she could stay with them meant there would be plenty of chances to wriggle the topic out of him. He'd get drunk eventually which would make it a whole lot easier too.

Another long sigh. Cross raised his head towards Mother. "Is there a spare room for her?"

Mother didn't reply for a good second before gesturing away towards a few doors further down to Baba. "Clean out the far-right guest room for the kid."

Her chest swelling with excitement, Celia jumped off of the chair with Timcanpy still in hand and a triumphant grin on her face, ready to follow after Baba and help tidy up the place she'd be staying at. Before she could, though, Cross stopped her halfway by simply planting his hand on top of her head and forcefully turning her towards him.

"What I said before still stands," he warned. "You complain or make any trouble for me and I'll send you back. Understood?"

The same old warning from before. And Celia already knew how serious he was about going through with his promises. She nodded. Forcefully shoving her towards Baba's direction, Celia grunted as Cross used her to stand back up. "Get on with it then. And don't bother me tonight, I'll be drinking."

"Don't you always?" Celia sprinted out of his grasp before he could smack her upside the head for her quip. As she crossed the door and released Timcanpy to help Baba clean the room she'd be living in, Granny Mother's voice came across through the brick walls.

"I like that one. She bites back."

Giggling to herself, Celia went along asking Baba what she could do to speed up the cleaning.

I think Allen will be happy to have something other than porridge for lunch.


|A month later. Mid-January.|

Kitchen duty became the norm for her from then onward. Nobody objected and with Baba's help, it started to become a rather pleasant time. Cross never said much either. If anything, it appeared to allow him the time to deal with Allen more. Celia had half the mind not to ask anything yet. Instead, she focused on befriending the boy the only way she knew how to, by talking his ear off.

Little by little, of course.

Despite having spoken those very few words the first day they met, Allen refused to speak much of anything. The first week had Celia holding up a conversation all by herself during their meals despite how many chances she brought up for him to join. It was after exactly a month after her arrival that she finally had the heart to ask Cross why he was like that and what had happened to him.

"Kid's cursed. He turned his father into an Akuma and killed it with the Innocence on his left hand."

Wow. No wonder he didn't feel like talking. If something like that happened to her, she'd—oh...right. Something like that did happen, didn't it? Yeah...with Red's Akuma. What happened that night—she could still smell the smoke that rose from the manor and the disgusting stench of flesh and blood burning. The screams, too. Sometimes in her dreams, she could hear them, the times those nightmares came and went without leaving a trace. And how Red, in spite of its crazed grin, cried for Celia to kill it.

"Kill it. Kill them."

Celia stopped in the middle of the hallway and banged her head against the wall hard enough to make her ears ring. Happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Practicing her manners with Lenalee and Jerry. Komui's kind treatment of them. Tiedoll's fatherly way of teaching her. The beautiful songs that Marie played for her with his Innocence. Kanda's grumbling.

The horrid voice quieted, allowing Celia to think clearly once more. Remembering Red and what happened that night at the brothel brought up things that she was better off not recalling, but her usual method to quiet that intrusive voice suddenly brought an idea to mind.

"Happy...thoughts?"

Celia nodded at Allen's sudden question and kept a gentle smile on her lips to hold his interest in the conversation that at last got him to speak to her again. "I know it might seem hard right now, but it's what helps me when I'm suddenly overwhelmed with sad memories."

"Sad?"

It felt suffocating to retell all that happened to her. Celia had only done that for Lenalee and Kanda and only because the former had been so insistent on knowing what her story was. They were the only ones who knew how she came to find herself at the Order. But she thought that if anyone would benefit from it, and even understand it, it'd be Allen. So, over the course of a few days, she told him everything about her time at the brothel up to when Cross took her in.

"It's...still hard to think about that night," she admitted to him that night.

Cross, like always, supervised them, sitting on the chair a few feet away from the bed. He never said anything but would never interrupt their conversations much either. Celia, on her end, laid next to Allen on his bed while giving him the space he always asked for.

"But I can at least talk about it now." Turning up to Allen who could only stare through the one slit his bandages permitted, she smiled. "Even when it ended in such a way, I still have all the happy memories I made with Madame and the others. They're what drives the bad thoughts away from my head now."

Carefully, she laid her hand over his.

"What's something happy you remember, Allen?"

His silver eye widened before averting entirely and retrieving his hand away from her grasp. Feeling she'd stepped over his boundaries, she left it there for the night.

"Kid?" Celia turned back towards Cross who'd gone out of Allen's room shortly after she had. "What thoughts were you talking about?"

Amethyst eyes widened a bit at his question. Odd. He'd never cared about what happened to her much before. They both knew how much it pained her to recall which is why, after that night, they seldom spoke of it. So it did throw her off, his sudden query. Nonetheless, the look in his eye had her answering after a small pause with pursed lips.

"Bad thoughts," she whispered. "Bad thoughts about doing bad things to others." Suddenly, her sunny disposition returned as she showed him a smile. "But I wasn't lying to Allen. When I think happy things, those bad thoughts go away and I don't think about doing anything bad anymore."

Silence.

"I see."

...

"Goodnight, Cross."


It's freezing.

The breeze that blew across so gently and quietly bit against her arms despite her coat hanging onto her shoulders. The bite of winter was starting to settle now. With it being the middle of the night, there was still some light coming from high above, the moonlight just enough to make out the thin path that led her to this quiet graveyard beside the church.

Celia didn't know what brought her there so late. Perhaps the sleeplessness combined with all the tossing and turning after hours of trying. Maybe the flickering of images she couldn't make sense of when she did manage to fall asleep. Or just the fact that those ugly nightmares that made no sense always came whenever she happened to remember what happened back then.

She thought vaguely telling Allen about them to make her point would be fine. That such a brief mention wouldn't be enough. It seemed any mention did the trick though.

That same inability to sleep now brought her here, a most morbid place. At least, that's what others would think, she guessed. Graveyards and cemeteries—any place where the dead rested, really, were a strange sort of comfort. Their silence, their history, their solemnity; they grounded her to the present. The fact that their time was past, that their bodies were laid to rest now, and that she was here, breathing, alive, coaxed her back from the past.

We are gone, they seemed to say. You are not. So live.

Her aimless feet wandered over the small pathways hardened by the many who had come and gone through and brought her before one of the many headstones. Their name was illegible. Grime and the elements took care of that. The stone was freezing underneath her fingers. Colder than the breeze that blew by. Yet lying so deep underneath the earth, closer to the center than she was out in the open,it surely must be warm.

Surely.

Wanting to be closer, Celia plopped down onto the freezing ground, her body trembling as it became somewhat accustomed to the temperature. Her hands brought her coat closer around her body, her head tucking closer to her chest to keep the warmth circulating in the small space she made for herself as she stared up at the illegible headstone.

Staring up at it made her wonder, would she too get a headstone like this? Would someone take care of it, come visit? Or would it be lost to time and be only one among the many? Would it matter once everybody was gone with no one to remember her?

Unconsciously her fingers caressed the cross on her wrist.

Would it be easier?

Celia winced at the slight sting on her wrist as emerald sparks jumped as if protesting her thoughts but also brought a wry smile to her lips.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Sometimes I wonder, you know? Whether it would've been simpler if…I had just let Madame take me with her."

"Do you regret living that much?"

Body tensing at the sound of Cross' voice, Celia didn't have the gall to turn and face him or even answer his question when she felt his presence right behind her. Instead, she retreated further into the small, makeshift cocoon of her coat. Smoke rose in the air around her, the scent a small comfort.

"Are those the bad thoughts?"

Celia shook her head under her coat. "Only sometimes," she muttered.

"What are they most of the time then?"

"...killing people."

The silence fell heavily between them and was only interrupted briefly by his deep inhale and methodic exhale of smoke. "Have you?"

"No, but…I've had the urge to."

Inhale, slow exhale. The scent fell and her nostrils flared, taking it in. "Let me guess: Lveille." Her shoulders instantly tensed giving him the answer he expected. "You wouldn't be the first."

"You…don't like him either?" she asked, craning her head back and pulling her coat a little away from her eyes.

"That would be a generous interpretation. Hardly anybody likes the guy. You wouldn't be the first to have the urge to bury him six feet under."

Celia's brow furrowed at his words. "Do other people think about killing others, too?"

"I wouldn't say it's normal, but it certainly isn't uncommon." Him taking another swig of his cigarette gave Celia a bit of time to rise to her feet as he continued, smoke slowly exiting through his nose. "People are petty, swear revenge up and down like it's nothing. A handful ever acts on it, the rest merely think it. Much like you."

"I'm not the one who thinks it, though," she corrected. No way would she let that misunderstanding stand. Then again… "At least for others other than that snake. When it tells me to do it, I feel sick to my stomach. I don't want to do it."

"Then don't. You're the one in control, after all." That massive hand of his suddenly landing on her head startled her, body and all tensing at once. "You get to choose your actions, not whatever it is you're hearing inside your head. So choose, and make sure you never regret your choices, kid."

Blinking a few times, Celia reached up and grabbed at her head once his hand receded as she fell deep into thought.

I get to choose…

A bubbly feeling surged from deep within her chest, warming her up despite the cool breeze. Another exhale sounded from above her head. Amethyst eyes blinked when they saw the butt of the cigarette he'd been holding fall to the ground and be stomped under the heel of his shoe before turning away and walking back towards the chapel. Not wanting to be left behind, Celia sprinted to his side to walk the rest of the way back together.

"Sometimes you're not all that bad for a mangy old priest," she mumbled under her breath.

"Guess I won't be hearing that when I'm sober, huh," Cross said.

Celia chuckled at this but didn't respond, knowing full well that Mother's liquor stash had ran out that same morning and no one had gone out to restock it that day. Instead, all she did as she glanced up at her old teacher was reach out and hold onto his hand as they made their way back to the church through the mildly frozen-over ground.

Cross didn't take his hand away.

Yeah, not all that bad.


|Early March.|

"Mmm."

Celia rolled the end of her spoon and watched the soup in her bowl bounce off the edges while deep in thought. Suddenly when a large enough portion fell over the edge, she flinched when Mother carefully smacked the back of her hand with her pipe.

"Stop playing with your food, kid."

"Sorry Gran," she muttered while rubbing at her hand.

"What's got you so spaced out, Celia-chan?" Baba asked.

Celia tapped the end of her spoon against the edge of the bowl, pensive for a brief second before she spoke. "Cross told me to get Allen to use his hand more."

"He did?" Granny Mother asked but huffed after a moment. "Huh, I suppose he's got to make sure the boy's recovery is progressing while he's out."

"I know, irresponsible, right? Anyway," she let out a sigh along with the single word. "I've tried to get him to use his left hand but he just tells me 'no' and goes onto use his right. He's never gonna regain movement like that."

"Why not teach him how to write?" Celia's brow furrowed at Baba's sudden suggestion, Baba smiling brightly back at her. "I was clumsy as all heaven when I was little too, and Mother teaching me how to write helped a lot with that! I'm sure, it'll help Allen too."

At the idea, Celia pressed the spoon against her pursed lips.

Yeah. I can see it working.


"It's not about being able to move it from one day to the other, Al. You gotta start small."

Allen averted his gaze that no longer hid behind tight bandages and lowered his left hand once more to his side, disheartened at being unable to do such simple a task as hold a mere pencil. She sighed in response, saddened at his falling shoulders.

It was obviously not what he wanted but it was to be expected. It had only been a few months since she came to them and since Allen's injuries. Despite how much she thought otherwise, no miracle could happen in such a short time. Not for others apparently, her mind reminded her. But Allen wasn't her. Despite most of his wounds being healed, the ones that remained because of what he went through still heavily weighed on him. A heavy mind burdened the body, too. And Celia knew from experience something like that would take much more time and effort to even begin to be able to carry on such tiny shoulders.

Scooting closer to him, Celia shorten the space between them as both sat on the floor of his room careful not to sit on any of the broken halves of pencils that lay strewn around Allen.

Baba had been on the right track with his suggestion. Plus, it was easy to convince Allen to learn how to write and read, while they were at it. He wanted to learn having said that he only knew what very few letters meant. Convincing him to learn with both his hands was a little bit harder but somehow she managed to in the end. Now, after a week or so at it, Allen could undo some of the iron-tight grip his fist was in. Wide enough were objects as thin as pencils could be passed through, anyway.

Cross didn't consider this progress enough, but then again his expectations were unrealistic as always. She would know. But it seemed no matter what she told Allen, his lack of substantial progress seemed to bother him. That and maybe the fact that in less than a week they had proven just how few writing utensils Granny Mother and Baba kept around the chapel. With most split in half and those halves even further into bits, they were quickly running out of things for him to practice with.

What else could he use?

It needed to be something sturdy. Something that could withstand the strength of his left hand. The thought of putting her fingers through was more than a bit worrisome after seeing the fate of so many pencils. There had to be something they could use. Something like…ah.

That's it!

Celia's face brightened as she plucked the hairpin out from the bun on her head and held it in front of Allen. At the sight of it before him, Allen shook his head violently, barely capable of mumbling a 'no' as he did so.

"Don't worry, Al. You won't break it."

It was sturdy enough. It could withstand her using it as a conduit for her Innocence, after all. If it could stand that, it would withstand his grasp no problem!

Crack.

Ah.

Two pieces of the metal hairpin fell from the ungodly tight grasp of Allen's hand as a pair of silver and amethyst eyes stared down dumbfounded and panicked.

Guess not.


"That cost me a hefty sum, you damn brats!"

Ugh, not even pressing her hands against her ears did much of anything against Cross' berating. Allen was already apologizing profusely as it was, unable to withstand the reprimand, but Celia knew better than to lay down and take it.

"It wasn't Allen's fault, you mangy priest. I was the one that—ah!"

Cross didn't hesitate in grabbing her by the scruff of her shirt, hauling her up to meet his raging gaze. "Of course it was you." His voice was gruff and his breath stank of alcohol like it almost always did forcing Celia to cover her nose and mouth. " Who else would be stupid enough to put something as important where it's not supposed to go?!"

"You're the stupid one, you poor excuse of a priest!" Celia contested, kicking her legs and regrettably hitting only the air between them. "Only an idiot gets a damn thing so poorly made that it would snap so easily! Wasn't it supposed to be strong enough to be able to work with my Innocence? Why the hell did it break like a damn twig—"

"Yours, you annoying little shit. That thing is made brittle to any other Innocence except yours. Augh!" Exasperated beyond words, Cross released her and she fell straight down onto the hardwood floor with a hard 'oof'. "You realize how difficult it was getting that made without leaving a trace?"

"You did it once, just do it again!" she retorted but ran away while dragging Allen along into his room before Cross could yell some more. It was once safely behind the door that the boy finally spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Al. This wasn't your fault."Celia smiled back at Allen, taking his hands and squeezing them assuringly. "Cross is right, for as much as I hate to admit it. I was the one who should've taken better care of it. But don't worry. I'll be alright until he can get another one."

"Don't you need it though?" Allen spoke softly, his fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his nightshirt. "It's…your Innocence. Without it, you won't be able to fight…the Akuma."

"Not exactly." Bending over to pick one of the broken pencils they had left behind, she activated Hand of God briefly to change the wooden into a small, sharp blade. The emerald wisps of electricity died down once changed and receded back into her wrist as Celia smiled back at him, "See? Technically, I don't really need it."

Silver eyes were wide at the demonstration of her powers and had Celia a bit bashful at the admiration she saw in his eyes.

"That's amazing."

"Again, not really," she said solemnly. Easily, Celia crushed the small blade in her hand and let the white dust of the crystal fall from her hand. "They're very weak compared to what I invoke when using my hairpin. I can maybe use them once or twice before they break. Plus, making them in bulk tires me out a bunch. Cross says it's not sustainable which is why he had that pin made for me a few years back."

This time, Celia could hear the slight hint of crying in Allen's voice when he said, "I'm sorry I broke something so important."

"N-No, Al! I'm telling you, it was my fault! Y'know what? Let's just forget about that and get back to practicing, okay?"


|Late May.|

It was time to say goodbye.

Strangely enough, Celia felt a tinge of sadness build up in her at the thought of leaving this old little church behind. Odd as it sounded, this place was like a second home already. Neither she nor Allen knew where they were headed next, only that Cross said it was time to go. And when he said go, he meant it. It was barely going to be half a year since Allen and Cross arrived at Granny Mother's place and even less since she joined them.

And now it was time to leave.

"For every encounter, there must be a departure. We must always be prepared to say goodbye, even when we're not."

How right you were, Madame.

Celia busied herself by adjusting the heavy passenger bag on her shoulders all the while saying her goodbyes to Baba alongside Allen. Though she focused on his heartfelt words as she hugged each of them in turn, Celia's curious gaze fell upon Mother and Cross a few feet away. Because of how Baba was being it was hard to hear what they were talking about, but there was no way of not seeing how Mother passed on something to Cross. It was small and hard to see and it was lost between their exchange. All Celia saw was a glint of metal.

"You should say your goodbyes to Mother too, Celia." Baba's words brought her back and she sauntered over to the old woman and stood before her.

"Bye, Granny. You and Baba take care, alright?"

She humphed, a puff of smoke exiting her parted lips at the gesture. "That should be my line, girlie. You look out for yourself out there, Celia Valentine. Don't let these two out of your sight. I think we both know how well they'll fare without you there to look out for them."

"Mm!"

Turning to face Allen now, Granny gave her last farewell to the boy as well. "Goodbye, Allen Walker."

Something about that appeared to bother Allen. Celia couldn't comprehend why either, much like Granny, at least not until Allen mumbled his excuse.

He didn't consider himself part of Mana Walker's family. Celia had heard bits and pieces of what had occurred that Christmas day. About how his father-figured passed and how Allen had called upon the Earl to retrieve him. How he became an Akuma and how Allen was forced to kill him. But even so…

"So if you're asking me whether it'd be okay, I'd say Carmine gave it to you when she took you into the manor."

"Y'know something, Allen, I don't think that's something you should worry about." Striding forward to be by his side, Celia took the trembling hand of his that held so tightly to the strap of his bag and offered him a bright smile. "I think the moment Mana decided to take you along with him you became part of his family. At least of the little one you two formed."

"...Celia-san…"

"...the walker." A pair of silver and another of amethyst looked over their shoulders to the slowly receding back of one mangy old priest. "The walker. Yeah… It's perfect for you."

That settled it. With a bright grin, both her and Baba agreed to his words until Allen himself finally accepted them, his face flushed at saying his own name. The two children turned, ready to leave and chase after their guardian.

"So," Celia adjusted the strap of her messenger bag around her shoulder better before facing Cross. "Where to now?"

"Firstly, to fix the damn thing you two broke."

Both children's shoulders fell at yet another reminder of their little mishap. Cross hadn't let that little incident go since it happened. Any chance he got, he would insert the fact that she was now more than defenseless without a proper weapon, and though it wasn't exactly a problem for him to keep them safe, it was certainly troublesome.

Thankfully, the place they needed to go to was on the way and only a few week's worth of travel by train. North of Liverpool was where they headed, to a city called Lancaster. These northern parts of Europe were foreign to her, and the more north they headed the stranger and newer the places became. The farthest place she had ever been to was China, and even then she had been confined to the substantially small city where Red's brothel was located. Not to mention that when they went out on missions they never went this far north.

All this was entirely new…and so very exciting.

Though she didn't know the time, Celia surmised it was late in the evening when they arrived by how empty the streets were. Practically abandoned, honestly. Instead of getting to their lodging right away like they usually did, Cross led them through the eerily quiet streets until they reached a tiny edifice that was stuck at the end of an alleyway, hidden from the rest of the market.

A tiny bronze bell rang above their heads as Cross pushed the door of a stuffy old shop. A counter ran along their left with a doorway and a curtained door closing off whatever was on the other side. What remained of space on the right was taken by jewelry of different sizes and purposes behind glass displays. Curious about the many pretty decorations, Celia trotted to them while Allen, after briefly looking between Cross and her, chased after Celia with Timcanpy close behind them.

Bracelets. Earrings. Necklaces. Rings. Amulets. So many and yet no two were alike. They were perfectly beautiful, to say the least. Each with a unique twist that made them gorgeous in their own way. Out of the many, one caught her eye. Not because of its beauty, though it was breathtakingly so, but because of the shape of the pendant. A lotus flower. The sight of it brought to mind a pair of glaring blue eyes that she couldn't help but feel saddened at remembering.

I wonder how they're doing…Yuu and Lena.

"God, I guess hoping to never see your ugly mug again was too much to ask."

Both turned away from the displays when the gruff sound of a woman's voice came from behind them. A somewhat burly woman appeared from beyond the curtained doorway, her dark skin glistened with sweat droplets in the dim light and mossy green eyes glared back at Cross from across the counter. Dark black hair tied in dreads fell behind her tied together in a thick ponytail that swayed along with her as she put her hands on her hips and leaned onto one side of the counter.

"It's good to see you too, Agnes," Cross replied, matching her sardonic tone.

The woman, Agnes, clicked her tongue in blatant displeasure. "What do you want this time, Marian?"

"Your services, of course." Agnes raised one incredulous eyebrow and waited until Cross added the unspoken part of his petition. "And lodging."

"You can fuck right off then," she said, shooing him away with a wave of her hand. "We don't want scoundrels like you bringing bad publicity here."

"Haven't you heard that any publicity is good publicity?" he quipped.

"Like hell it is."

Celia watched with rapt attention as their bickering continued, with Cross nonchalant as ever and Miss Agnes quite on the edge and coming ever closer to jumping off. She had to admit that this was quite an interesting sight to behold. All women that they came across before during their travels were eager to throw themselves at him for one reason or another. Celia never understood what it was they saw in such a mangy old priest like him either. Neither did this woman apparently.

She could appreciate her good head on that set of strong shoulders.

"Now, now, Nessie, we shouldn't be rude to Father Marian."

From beyond the curtained doorway, yet another figure appeared. Another woman, but this one was much more petite than Miss Agnes. Long blonde tresses were tied back in a thick plait that rested behind her and bright blue eyes glanced at each of them with a gentleness that had Celia blushing a bit. Though both were beautiful in their own way, she couldn't help but feel sheepish before this second woman. Especially when her gentile gaze lingered for a moment longer on her before a brilliant smile came to her rosy lips, making her fumble with her words as she felt her heart skip a beat.

"Rudbeckia, it's always a pleasure to see your lovely face."

"You're flattery continues to astound me, father." The blonde, Rudbeckia, giggled, hiding her mouth behind dainty fingers but the emotion didn't quite reach her eyes. "I presume you've been well by it as well."

"Well enough to return to your fine establishment."

Beside Miss Rudbeckia, Miss Agnes groaned. "Quit it with the games, you two. Ruby, he's not here to chat. He's here to freeload like always."

"I figured as much." Suddenly, her gentle gaze fell once more on her and Allen and both stood closer together at the sudden scrutiny. "My, these are faces I've never seen before."

"Don't bother getting to know them either," Cross quickly interjected. The way he stepped forward blocked some of her vision of the two women and forced her to step to the side to once again have a good view. "Would you happen to have lodging for us at your inn, Rudbeckia?"

"As a matter of a fact, yes," she replied. "Should I presume this will also run on your tab?"

"If you would be so kind."

She chuckled then. "Of course, father."

"You need to stop handing him free stuff just because the bastard's from the church," Agnes groaned.

That comment caught her ear. So these people were like Mother. They were civilians who aided Exorcists and the Black Order. It made sense. Celia would guess that the reason why Madame allowed Cross to stay back at the brothel for such long periods of time was also the same one. Despite wanting to remain and listen in on more of their banter, there wasn't much of a chance to when Miss Rudbeckia— "Please, feel free to call me Auntie Ruby"—led them away beyond the curtained doorway.

Past it, Celia had to stop and stare, astounded by what she saw. A complete forge was on this side of the store. Small stoves she presumed were used for the jewelry on display outside were to be expected. What wasn't were the much larger furnaces that connected to the outside and the many weapons that were sprawled around them. It was only a brief second, but the sight left her speechless all the same. Beyond the forge, a set of stairs led up where a door separated a rather full bar and inn from the store. Hurrying them through the busy area, Auntie Ruby brought them to an empty room with two separate beds and large enough to accommodate the three of them.

"Here we are, children. Make yourselves comfortable," she said to them. "I'll be back in a minute with some supper for you two, alright? Father Marian will be busy with my dear Nessie so don't wait up. I'm sure you're tired as-is from the long journey here."

Celia couldn't deny it as a yawn won over her then and there. Changing and helping Allen change, too, both waited for Ruby to return and introduced themselves to her while they had a small dinner. Miss Ruby was kind. Celia had been right about them being supporters of the church. Sort of. Apparently, both she and Miss Agnes had been acquaintances of Cross before they became supporters, and their services were more so reserved to him than any other Exorcists. The chat was just getting interesting when Allen's sudden yawn passed on to her.

"It's rather late. You should get some rest."

Though she wanted to protest, she couldn't well fight with Miss Ruby's kind coaxing as she led them both into bed and helped tuck them in. Once the lights were off and she was gone, the moon that barely let any light through the curtained windowpanes lit Allen's cherubic face before her and brought to her attention yet again the scar left behind.

His curse.

"It's ugly…isn't it."

Amethyst eyes widened at his sudden whisper. Flustered at being caught, she tried coming up with some excuse to spare him the embarrassment. Nothing she said worked though. But it wasn't until Allen desperately tried hiding the left side of his face with his hair that Celia reacted.

"No, don't." Her hands stopped his shaky hands and instead brushed away the hair to fully expose his flushing face. Red as a beet, Allen's eyes were wide with surprise, trembling in the slight moonlight that made them seem more silver than gray. "I've never thought it ugly, Al. Nothing about you is." Letting go of his hair, one hand lowered to his left hand and took it in hers. "It's just—I've never seen anything like it. I mean, it's not like I've seen much either, but still. I'm curious…and really worried about what it is."

Allen was quiet for a brief second before averting his gaze. "...Master says it's a curse."

"He's a mean ole priest, that Cross. Don't take what he says too much to heart," she reassured him and squeezed his hand. "Curse or not, we'll figure out how to deal with it. You'll see."

There was a bit of silence for a second before Allen's voice rose again. "Celia-san…was it hard? Learning to use your Innocence, that is."

"Well…"

What could she possibly say to that? No two Innocence were quite the same. Though Komui taught her about types and the like, there wasn't much aside from that that she knew. Hand of God was a strange Innocence as is. There was no other as versatile as hers among all the Exorcists, or so she'd been told. And yet it was as easy to use it as breathing was—channeling it anyway. Adding practicality to it was where she needed to learn when to actually take each breath.

It was a crappy analogy. Even she could admit that. She told it to him anyway. Who knows, maybe it could help him in some way.

"I see…"

"We can give it some more thought tomorrow. Let's just sleep for tonight."

Celia offered him a small smile which Allen reciprocated briefly before clearing his throat, his cheeks red as could be even in the dark. It took her a moment to notice what was wrong; that and following his gaze to where she still held his hand. Smiling coyly, Celia tightened her grip and brought their joined hands to rest between them. This only made him a blubbering mess as he tried to pull away while making excuses which she only ignored to firmly hold it in place.

"C-Celia-san—you shouldn't—it's rough—and gross!"

A smile came to her lips before she closed her eyes and said, "Goodnight, Allen."

The prattling continued for a good second before he quieted down. Part of her wanted to release him then to give him some peace of mind that would let him sleep, but before she could, she noticed how very slowly his grip loosened just enough for her fingers to fall into the opening of his palm. Her skin crawled for a brief moment, electricity running along her muscles urging her to move, but Celia stayed still with the tips of her fingers in his grasp. She heard Allen take a deep breath as his fingers slowly closed around hers.

Slowly and gently until they held her hand back.

"...goodnight, Celia-san."


"So you made my hairpin, Auntie?"

Miss Agnes groaned under her breath as she bit down on a toothpick while smelting some black ore. The hot metal bubbled in its container as the forge burst into temperatures that kept Celia at a safe distance from the work station. Apparently not far enough for Miss Agnes, though. The heat that filled the room was enough for both to be sweating bullets and Agnes wiped at her brow as she straightened from bending over the forge.

"Do you have nothing better to do, kid?"

Celia shook her head with a blissfully innocent look to her. "Cross is helping Al with invoking his Innocence and told me to sod off. Auntie Ruby went out to buy groceries for the inn and said I could help her when she came back but she's been out for a long time now."

"And you're here why again?" Agnes asked.

"I got bored," she simply said.

The blacksmith sighed to keep her temper in check before going back to work on her smelting. "You could be exploring or training or whatever you Exorcists do, can't you? Why are you here bothering me?"

"I like it here. It's cool."

"You're in the way."

"I've been sitting here for the past hour, though, and you haven't told me to move once."

"You're a very quippy brat, you know that?" Agnes said, irritated beyond belief.

Celia nodded. "Cross tells me I talk too much all the time and should learn to shut up, too. He's a mangy priest though so I just ignore him."

That got an amused scoff from Agnes which made Celia the tiniest bit proud. Straightening again from the forge, Agnes looked over her shoulder at the young child that peacefully sat at her farthest work table, fidgeting with a few of her bracelet prototypes.

"Want to be helpful?" Celia shrugged her shoulders. If it quelled her boredom, who was she to complain? "Go clean up the displays."

"You want to put me to work?" she asked, one of her eyebrows raising incredulously.

"I want you out of my workshop, kid. Don't need any accidents. So if that gets you out of my hair, then yes."

"What do I get in return?"

The sweet little grin she gave Agnes infuriated the blacksmith to no end. "That bastard really rotted you to the core, didn't he?"

"I learn what's useful. And he taught me to never work for free," she admitted with a nonchalant shrug before stretching out her hand with her palm open and grabbing at midair.

Sighing one last time, she pointed at some molds that laid on another workbench. "You help me clean up out front and I'll let you pick the design of your new hairpin."

Ooh.

"Deal." Jumping down, Celia sprinted away through the curtained doorway. Finally, sweet silence was left in the forge. Just as Agnes was about to go back to work, Celia's head popped through the doorway to ask, "What do ya want me to do again?"

"God, give me patience."


"Get your ass back up! Now!"

Celia flinched at hearing Cross shouting, her hands going straight up to her ears as another shot rang through the air. Timcanpy meanwhile was sound asleep through the noise of the bullets as he lazed away on her lap. She had finished training a good hour ago but she wasn't about to leave just yet. Not when she promised Allen they'd go have breakfast together. But this was starting to be hard to look at.

Cross had always been a very Spartan teacher. Learning from experience seemed to be his motto, and his were the toughest of lessons. Celia learned to cope since she was able to summon her Innocence from the get-go, but without even that, Allen was left defenseless against their teacher's merciless onslaught. She hated to see it, but if she dared interfered, it'd be hell for her tomorrow. That left her with no other option except to wait.

Watch and wait until it was over.

"Poor boy." The gentle tone of Auntie Ruby's voice coming from beside her took her by surprise and gave Celia chills. How does she keep doing that? The first week they were there she thought it a coincidence. Now, this eerie stealth of hers was getting on her nerves. "Pray tell, why is Father Marian being so hard on him?"

"He's trying to get Al to activate his Innocence," she responded after a pause.

"So he's a newly made accommodator." Something about the way she so matter-of-a-factly said that made her somewhat wary. "Wouldn't it be easier for you to help him?"

She had wondered the same thing when Allen started his hellish training, but Cross made sure to put her in her place. "I'm not allowed to, apparently. Cross said I could hurt him by accident."

"Mm, I see." A sudden hand rested on her head when Ruby ruffled it making a mess of her brunette tresses. "Don't fret too much. I'm sure he'll be able to soon enough."

The blonde cupped her hand over her mouth and shouted back at the two that breakfast was ready which, thankfully, stopped the one-sided beating. It was obvious Cross wasn't pleased about being interrupted, but he heeded anyway, nodding Allen away. The boy sprinted to Celia's side with a weak smile before asking what was for breakfast.

"Waffles and sunny-side up eggs sound good to you?" Ruby asked, leaning her hands on her knees and bending forward a bit.

Allen's smile was wide at the prospect of food. Celia smiled back wanting to appear just as enthused about their menu, but couldn't help but notice the click from Judgement behind them along with Cross' sigh as he let out a long exhale of smoke.

Beneath her, Timcanpy's growling brought her back and she smiled down at the golem before nodding back at Ruby and Allen.

"I want a ten-stack, please."

"Me too!" Al called out with a raised hand.

Timcanpy growled again making Celia chuckle. "Tim says he wants twenty."

At hearing that, Allen's mouth began to water profusely.

"Twenty sounds so good, too."


'Pick one you like.'

That's all Auntie Nessie told her. It was her reward, she said, for helping her. Exactly as she promised, Celia was getting to pick the design and charm that would be on her hairpin. The hairpin's design was easy. What she really wanted her pick of was the charm that would go on the end of it. All simply because she had the perfect one in mind.

"This one."

Agnes stood over her and took a peek at one of the many pieces she had out on display only to raise an eyebrow at her choice.

"That one?"

"Yeah."

"They're diamonds, the ones encrusted on it," she said, thinking out loud as she rubbed at her chin pensively.

Her tone had Celia worrying that maybe this wasn't one she'd be willing to part with. Using her best kicked puppy look, she pouted, "Is it no good then?"

It took the blacksmith a moment of deep thinking before she scoffed and a mischievous grin came to her lips.

"Not in the least." Her whole demeanor brighten at what those words meant and watched as Auntie Nessie removed the display case and took the lotus pendant in her hands. "We'll just do what we always have and put it on Cross' tab, won't we?"


|Early July|

"I'm so BORED!"

"I'm sure she'll be back soon, Celia-san."

Allen's voice carried through the noise of the bustling crowd they were in the middle of, but his words did little to assuage her mounting impatience. They had gone out to accompany Auntie Ruby on her weekly grocery trip. The only reason she had acceded to that was because she had grown bored of just being allowed to be around the inn and blacksmith when going outside. After almost a month of being there, the urge to explore had grown too much. She desperately needed to see what else was out there while they were still here.

And if she's going to take as long as she always does then…

"C-Celia-san? Where are you going?"

Celia didn't bother with his question until after she jumped off of the crate she'd been using as a chair and stretched out her hand to him.

"Explore. C'mon."

"Is that really the best thing to di?" he asked, pulling his hood over his head as he looked around. "Master always tells us to be careful whenever we're outside and that we shouldn't stray without him."

"He let us come out with Auntie Ruby which means we're safe around these parts." Taking her hand back to her side, she turned about and pointed at the far-off tower that could be seen beyond the town. "I'm gonna go take a look around those castle ruins we saw on our way here. If you want to tag along, you're welcome to. If not, just wait for Auntie Ruby and tell her I went to look at toys or something."

Celia didn't wait for an answer and instead stepped into the crowd that seamlessly walked all around them. It didn't take even a minute for her to feel a tug on the hoodie of her cloak as Allen pleaded for her to slow down. Smiling back at him, Celia took his left hand to not lose him and guided him due north from where the tower peeked over the town. It took maybe twenty minutes to find their way out of town and to the outskirts of the nearby forest from within where she could see the small castle ruins even closer. A short trek through foliage later, they found themselves before a grand dilapidated edifice.

Time had certainly taken its toll. Stone walls were half-destroyed, beaten down by the elements they were exposed to. Vines and other foliage clung to what was left. It was difficult to tell whether the stones were what kept the foliage reaching ever upwards or if it was them keeping what was left of the grand structure together. Wild animals scurried by as they approached the open entrance of the castle. Stairs heading upward were in tatters but Celia decided to take them anyway even through Allen's quiet protests not to.

With one step to assure herself that they were at the very least sturdy, she skipped the rest of them upward leaving Allen to fumble with every step to follow after her. Celia stopped at the second floor of the castle which seemed a little bit more intact than the first. Here there were at least some remnants of life. Beaten down wooden desks or chairs were strewn about what was left of the floor. Scraps of books could be seen hiding here and there, some even still on what looked to have been shelves back in their heyday. Illegible though.

"Who could have lived here?" Allen wondered aloud.

She wondered the same thing.

Walking over to the most intact table that miraculously still stood on all four legs, Celia passed her fingers across the surface, painting a clean line across the dust and dirt that settled on it. Time seemed weird here. Like it stopped but kept flowing. An eerie sensation settled in her at the thought. Time wasn't supposed to stop like that. It needed to keep going, keep moving forward. For places, animals, and humans.

We all need to end sometime.

"Not all."

Celia staggered and found purchase on the table, the legs screeching as they scraped on the beaten stone floor. Beyond the sudden echo in her head, she could hear Allen's worried call but wasn't completely in her head enough to answer.

The world around her felt muddled, something that had never happened before. It was like being under murky water with her body caught in the thick of it barely able to answer her brain. But just as quick as it came, it was gone thanks to the jolt of electricity that ran from her wrist all across her body in the span of an instant. Emerald sparks flew from the tips of her fingers just as she gulped down a giant breath of air. Beside her Allen's voice finally came into focus, the boy's cries louder now than before.

"I-I'm okay." It was a poor excuse for reassurance, but she made it all the same. Reaching up to the hand that rested on her shoulder, she gave it a squeeze. "We…we should probably go back before Auntie Ruby freaks out."

Allen nodded and helped her down the stairs with a steady hand holding hers. Once they crossed the front threshold, however, the emerald sparks acted up again, causing a sudden and painful enough shock between their joined hands that Celia and Allen found themselves retracting them.

Her amethyst gaze was rapt on her hand as the electricity coursed beneath her skin, sparks jumping between her fingers as if wanting to get her attention.

What is it? she thought. What are you trying to tell me?

"Ah!"

Her head snapped up to Allen and her eyes widened at the sight before her. His left eye had gone completely black except for the bright red circles around where his iris should be. Not only that but the pentagram-shaped scar over it burned brightly against his pale skin. He stopped short, grabbing at his face with his right hand, shocked and panicked more than anything.

"What's wrong, Al?"

"I-I-I don't know. M-My eye, it just—" but as he lifted his gaze to look at her, his eyes widened at something behind her. Electricity crawled under her whole forearm again at the sudden sight of him, and it was then that she knew.

In that instant, she realized exactly what they were both sensing.

Click.

Celia didn't hesitate.

Before she knew what was what, she took Allen and shoved themselves to the side just as a rain of bullets was shot in the direction they had been. Tossed onto the ground, both looked up in time to see the Level 1 Akuma that had somehow found them out there. There wasn't time to think about that though. Not with it aiming at them yet again. Without thinking, Celia took Allen's hand and did what she knew was the best option then: run.

Shots fired and resounded in her skull every time. The trees acted as good cover but that thing was going through them like paper. Soon their cover would be more than gone and they were nowhere near town to even think of losing it in those streets. Not to mention that leading it back there wasn't an option. Not if she wanted to avoid the crowds and keep them from harm's way.

No, if she wanted to fight this thing, it had to be here.

"Allen, go!" Pulling him by his arm, Celia hauled him in the general direction of the town.

"Wait, Celia-san!" She didn't stop though.

Instead, all she offered was a look over her shoulder as she called out, "Get Cross! I'll keep it away from town until you get back! So hurry!"

She didn't wait to see him leave. Celia bent over as she ran back towards the Akuma's direction to pick a broken twig from the ground and met the machine halfway through its rampage. Its sight quickly zeroed in on her and the moment it was, she took cover behind the largest tree she could find just as the onslaught of bullets began once more.

Celia didn't wait to activate Hand of God but the moment she did, the draining of her stamina was instant in that split second. God, this was worse than she remembered. Had she really gotten so used to the hairpin that this amount of stamina being used was this staggering?

No, this wasn't the time to ask any sort of questions. Right now, what mattered, was buying time.

Giving shape to this weapon proved a bit of a challenge. The glaive in her hands wasn't complete, it barely managed to form two blades sharp enough to perhaps cut only a few times before it broke apart. Waiving it around and hoping something stuck wouldn't be cutting it this time. If she wanted to buy enough time for Cross to get there, she'd need to be meticulous about each and every move.

"You must learn to analyze the situation you find yourself in first and foremost, Cel-kun."

Analyze first and foremost. Quickly taking a peek to scan her surroundings, Celia took in what was left of the forest. All that had been in its path had been destroyed leaving behind short trunks in place of what had been fully grown trees. Other than that, though, most remained intact. I can use those. Ducking away from the bullets that came again, Celia gave her situation another thought. There was only a single Akuma here by the looks of it. A simple one-on-one fight. If she could get a good hit in, it'd buy her good time.

I could even end it.

The prospect enticing, Celia took a deep breath as she counted out the seconds between its shots and load and waited for it to finish before rushing out onto the open. The Akuma spotted her the instant she appeared while it was still reloading. Taking advantage of the delay, Celia slid past the onslaught of bullets that came a little later to land straight beneath the machine. Before its canons could aim downward, she kicked off and impaled it from beneath. The feeble blade broke off when she tried to dislodge it and Celia's eyes widened before rushing away from the bullets that came after her.

Damn, this thing was weaker than she anticipated. Being so used to her glaive also didn't help with guessing just how much it would take to bring it down with an inferior version of it. It needed more than just the one hit. Maybe even more than two.

"Quit jumping in like a maniac."

Celia clicked her tongue in frustration and held tight onto the pole. No stabbing then. Jumping out of the way and using a tree to propel herself, Celia dodged the bullets that came at her before landing on the Level 1's head. Canons aimed at her for a split second before she slashed away at them, rendering them useless. The blade chipped. Backflipping as another formed from the top of it, Celia slashed its back as she went down, the pole shaking at the force and the blade cracking further. Under her skin, the electricity jolted, giving her a sign.

One more.

Before she even touched the ground, another barrel formed on its back and an audible click rang in her ears a second before the shot fired. How she managed to deviate herself just in time by using the broken end of her glaive on the ground was beyond her. Celia rolled harshly on the ground and stopped when her back hit a broken tree, forcing the air out of her lungs in one fell swoop.

Get up, Celia. Get up!

Forcing herself on her feet, Celia staggered back at the sudden burning sensation that so rapidly spread through her. What…What was—the pain on her arm gave her the answer. The bullet, it nicked her. Just barely, but that seemed to be enough. Never having been hit before, the feeling of the poison takings its toll left her even more breathless than before, but as quick as it had come, the burning was replaced by what felt like freezing cold water rushing through her veins in a matter of seconds. Her teeth were left chattering as the cold disappeared and left her painfully gasping for every breath.

Click.

Her head snapped up to find her facing the end of a barrel. Electricity shot through her body, stiffening her whole body and making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. You can't avoid it, it shouted. Brace yourself. Instinctively, Celia shut her eyes and did just that, bracing herself for whatever came with that shot.

"No!"

The moment her eyes flew open was the moment it all happened. A bright flash of green, three slashes straight down the machine, and its explosion shortly after. Gas suddenly blocked her vision, her lungs coughing up a storm at the irritating toxin filling her lungs. Like before, the burning sensation took over, suffocating her almost to the point of stopping her breath altogether seconds before her whole body was doused with that freezing water running through her. Once through, she gulped down the biggest inhale she'd ever had seconds before her teeth started violently chattering.

As the gas dissipated, a lone figure stood in its place.

"A…Allen…?"

It was. That small figure with those tiny shoulders was Allen. But it was Allen like she had never seen him before. That left arm of his…it wasn't red any longer. Instead, it became a shining silver, like his eyes, and grew to almost double his body size. The bright light of the cross inlaid on the back of his hand shone a brilliant green as if calling attention to the grand clawed hand that he now possessed.

His Innocence. Activated.

Groaning in pain, Allen's arm suddenly fell from where he held it aloft shortly before that shine from before vanished, taking with it the new form it had given itself and returning it to that red arm she was so used to. Panicking, Celia forced her beaten body to rush to his side.

"Allen! Allen, talk to me! Are you okay? Are you in pain?"

"I'm—I'm fine. Just…a little tired."

He sounded out of breath. Almost like he just ran around town twice over. But aside from that, there weren't any visible injuries. He definitely hadn't been hurt by the Akuma. That alone was relief enough for her, no matter how short-lived it was.

"We should get back now," she hurriedly said, bringing his arm over her shoulder to get him up and going.

"Yeah…" Allen agreed with a bit of a breathless voice. Somehow the kid still had the gall to smile though. Almost as if to assure her. "We should."

Getting back was an endeavor all on its own. Especially while carrying half the weight of a more or less conscious Allen on her aching shoulders. But nothing compared to the damn chew off their ears got the moment Cross found out what happened to them.

"I swear to—Augh!"

Celia shrunk away at Cross' outburst but never once protested against it. There was no defending from this. What's more, no amount of snark would get her out of the sure send-off she would get. So ready was she for it that the tears were already pooling in her eyes just thinking about her goodbyes to Allen. She didn't even think of brushing them away as Miss Ruby tended to their wounds and Miss Agnes kept Cross away from them so he wouldn't accidentally hurt them.

"There, does that hurt still?"

Celia didn't answer Miss Ruby's question and instead took her arm closer to her body, gaze askance to not meet any of theirs.

"You can barely keep yourself out of trouble and you drag the dumbass brat along with you!? In what kind of mind is that even logical!"

"Relax, Marian," Agnes interjected.

His hand was on his holster, the button undone before she even finished her sentence. "I will shoot you."

"Ha, you wouldn't even be able to pull the damn gun out."

"Want to bet?"

"Enough." Celia felt her body tense at Miss Ruby's harsh tone. This wasn't like anything she heard before from her. She could be peeved or even frustrated at times and it would make her sound childish. This, however, just sounded threatening. And the glare that she shot back at Cross matched the tone. "I don't want to have to kick you out, Father. I suggest you wait outside while I treat the children."

"Like hell I am," he said, but holstered Judgement back with a firm click of the button. "I've had enough of the brat. I'm sending her back."

The declaration felt somehow colder than what had coursed through her hours ago to dispel the Akuma virus. Cold and numbing.

"W-What?" Allen stammered. "No, you can't! Y-You can't, Master! She didn't—"

"You stay out of this," he growled, shoving him back onto his chair. "You shouldn't have gone after her like a damn idiot. Did you want to die? Because that was a damn sure way to head to an early grave."

"Cross," Agnes herself said under her breath, wanting to seem threatening.

"Don't." How he kept himself from hurting anyone was beyond her. She'd never seen him this angry, not even the last time she blatant ignored one of his rules. The only one that mattered to keep her by his side, apparently. "This isn't the first time this has happened and now I'm making sure it'll be the last."

That crimson eye turned towards her then and her breath hitched at the sight of him so enraged. The words that spilled from his lips, so bitter, so venomous, pained her to her core.

"Keeping you around was a mistake."

"Outside, Marian. Now."

This time when Miss Ruby ordered him to go outside, he heeded her words, slamming the door behind himself hard enough that the bronze bell fell from above its perch and rolled to a stop at Celia's feet. It was then that the tears she'd been holding back finally spilled loud and clear. Why…why had she been holding them back?

He hates children crying.

Ah. That's why.

"Bring them up, please, Agnes. I'm going to speak with Father Marian."

Agnes didn't object. No one did. The sudden change in demeanor, Miss Ruby's sudden commanding nature, didn't allow them to. So they listened. Agnes took them upstairs to the inn and to their room. All the way there, Celia couldn't stop crying knowing deep down that this would be her last night with them. Even after they were tucked in, even as Allen tried his best to comfort her through his own tears, she kept crying.

The tears didn't stop. Not even after she spent herself so much that the exhaustion of the day took over and sent her to sleep.


Celia didn't want to get up the next morning. Even when she didn't get more than a smidgen of sleep and laid down next to Allen, watching him sleep, getting up from bed was the last thing she wanted. Simply because she knew that getting up meant leaving them for good. All that time traveling with Cross taught her plenty. He wouldn't stand for what happened yesterday, especially seeing how upset he had been.

There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he would not let this slide, and much like last time, he would send her away.

Surely.

Eventually, Auntie Ruby came in to rouse them. She had never minded it before, but there was something about her cheeriness today that just irritated her. As the three descended the stairs to reach the dining area of the inn, however, Celia stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Cross waiting for them at the foot of the steps. Grasping at the space between them, the tremor in her hands only lessened when she found purchase on Allen's hand. The boy held onto her tightly, concern easily discernable on his face as he urged her to finish climbing down the steps.

Once there, it was daunting having to face him. Once again, Celia felt small, much smaller than she actually was when compared to the man standing before her. An indiscernible look fell on them as he remained silent for what felt like an eternity. Her heart pounded so hard against her chest for so long that she was sure it would pierce a hole right through her ribcage if this went on for any longer.

The sudden careful hand of Ruby's on hers and Allen's shoulder calmed her tensing body and mind for the briefest of moments. For once, Celia didn't mind the eerie quietude of her movements.

"Enough frightening the child, Father. Come now, tell her."

Tell me? The hand of hers holding Allen's felt clammy as her grip tensed while her other grasped at the edge of her skirts. Tell me what?

He prolonged it on purpose. She was almost certain of it. Because what he spoke next was almost enough to send her to an early grave from the relief.

"I'm only trying to get it through her numbskull that if she does something like this ever again I'm kicking her to the curb and never taking her back."

That was it.

That's all he said before turning on his heel and sauntering off and out of the inn. It was the instant that those doors closed behind him that all the exhaustion from the night before and the anxiety from that morning poured over and overwhelmed her entirely.

"Celia-san!"

Her legs gave way beneath her before she even had a chance to know what happened. Falling to her knees took less precedence over how light her chest suddenly felt and how easily the tears she'd been holding back finally rolled down in huge droplets.

It was incredible just how much she'd neglected the fact of how this had consumed her so wholly. How the worry of yet again being set aside by that man—by someone she should, by all intents and purposes, not care about—had all but taken over her every cell. How the sheer relief that washed over at his sudden declaration was enough to have her crying tears of joy.

"There, there, now." Strong arms lifted her from the floor and brought her closer to a warm chest. Celia couldn't complain, not like she wanted to either. With ease, her arms wrapped around Ruby's neck as she buried her face on her shoulder, weeping at having so much lifted off her shoulders.

"It's alright." Through her blurry vision, Celia saw Ruby's hand reach down to Allen and stroke his head. It was hard to see from where she was but she swore she could see him crying too. "Let's calm down and have some breakfast together. How does that sound?"


|Early September|

Saying goodbye wasn't any easier this time around.

"Thank you for having us," she and Allen both recited with a curtsey and bow.

The blacksmith gave them a grin and swift goodbye before turning to Cross. While waiting her turn to say her farewells to Ruby, her ears caught some of what the other two spoke off. The words 'prototype', 'difficult', and 'not ready' were thrown around, but before she could discern anything from what they were saying, Ruby called her attention over to her. As she turned towards her, Timcanpy wiggled in her arms and got comfortable as she approached the blonde. Carefully, the patroness adjusted her cloak, Timcanpy grumbling nonsensically all the while, and while placing the hood of it over her head whispered close to her.

"Take care of yourself and little Allen, alright?"

Celia nodded, her eyes never leaving Ruby's bright blue ones even as she leaned in and embraced her. It was pleasant at first, the soft scent of oranges and chocolate strangely mixing well together, but very quickly something about the way she held her felt strange. Strange in a way she couldn't quite pinpoint. All she knew was that she wasn't comfortable with how tightly her grasp on her shoulders suddenly became. Before she could say anything about it, though, Tim made the first move, growling at being squished between them. As if understanding his discomfort, Ruby released her and held her at arm's length instead, eyes never leaving hers.

"Always be kind, Celia. Never follow in their footsteps. Never harm others, no matter how much they've wronged you or how justified you may think you may be in doing so. Because the moment you stoop to their level, that is the moment they win. Never give them that."

Those words much like the weird tightness of her embrace unsettled her, but she didn't let it show. Instead, Celia smiled as best she could and nodded.

"Yes, Auntie Ruby."

A smile once again came to those rosy lips, a smile that reached her eyes as she patted her head.

"Be a good girl then. No more getting in trouble, you hear?"

"Mm." Her hand reached up to her bun under her hood where her newly made hairpin rested, the end decorated with a diamond-encrusted lotus flower pendant. "I'll do my best."


|Late October|

"Stop teaching Allen how to cheat in cards. We keep getting in trouble."

"Because you both are idiots and keep getting caught," Cross chastised. "Besides he's winning his keep, unlike you."

"Excuse me?!" Celia bellowed out, incredulously.

Like always, Allen had to pick a side. "Celia-san is frankly getting more with the small jewelry Miss Agness taught her to make. It sells well, master. Maybe we should do the same instead of gambling."

"Yeah, mangy priest. Learn a thing or two from Al. Dignity, for example."

"To hell with that. Allen! Come on, it's time to train!"


|Mid November|

"What's that?" Allen's inquiries were the same as hers when Cross arrived that day with a strange suitcase in tow.

"Nothing that concerns you. Tim." The golden golem unlatched itself from biting down on Celia's head and headed to Cross' side. "You two get out."

"It's late," Celia pointed out.

"And the moon's out. Want to continue pointing out the obvious or are you leaving already?"

There wasn't any use arguing with him. Allen and her left and heard the click of a lock after him. Ugh, it was obvious the reason he wanted them out now.

"We shouldn't come back until sunrise, should we?" Allen asked, his cheeks a bit flustered.

Celia groaned and did her best to reign in her frustration by twirling her hairpin between her fingers before heading out.

It's gonna be another long night


|Late December

Already a year, huh.

Celia couldn't quite believe it. Blowing air into her bare hands to warm them, her amethyst eyes stared upward at the sky as snow gently began to fall. Around these parts, it was normal for it to start snowing during this time of year apparently, and with Christmas festivities coming in at full force already, it made it seem like the perfect winter wonderland.

Beside her and balancing on the same wooden fence she sat on was Timcanpy who grumbled about something or another at her. Celia nodded in agreement.

"You're right, they are late."

Cross and Al had gone out to scout the place and do some shopping while they were out. Ever since they started his training, Allen had gotten much better at invoking his Innocence. Not to mention that cursed eye of his. Celia found it rather convenient that much like her little sparks could sense Innocence and warn her of danger at times, his could tell him right away where Akuma hid. It gave them the advantage. Well, it gave him an advantage. Cross didn't let her be compliant about it which is why they seldom went out together on errands anymore. Either Cross and Allen went together or she went with Tim.

"You gotta rely on your own instincts. The dimwit won't always be there with you to make your job easier."

She could understand his reasons to some extent. Though if this could make their jobs easier, Celia couldn't understand why exactly they couldn't just take advantage of it. Sighing, she leaned forward on her knees doing her best not to tip forward and fall. Tim growled once more and flew up to lay on top of her head.

"Yeah, I know. Be patient," she repeated, her foot tapping against the wooden fence beneath them.

Timcanpy munched on her head a few times before rolling forward and off of it without a warning. Knowing his antics, Celia awaited his fall with open hands, easily catching the rolling golem. Tim moved to face her, his grin widening as he gnawed instead at her hands. A soft airy chuckle escaped her lips as she toyed with his teeth and tongue. The golem never minded her. What's more, he appeared to enjoy their roughhousing as much as she did. Her giddiness burst through her laughter as she waved him around like a rag doll, Timcanpy refusing to release her.

"You little rascal," she grunted through a giggle.

"...pest…"

Her head snapped to attention at the faint sound and the hand she still had free immediately rose to press against her ear. No amount of concentration, however, brought what she heard to any clearer focus.

Could it be?

Maybe she had just imagined it. After all, ever since the last time she heard it back at Granny Mother's church, Celia hadn't heard that voice inside her head. It wasn't like it left; it never left. It just became such a monotone chain of unintelligible gibberish that Celia considered it quiet in comparison. Being with Allen and Cross had done that for her. It had quieted at last a voice that would not leave her in peace. The one she dubbed 'the bad thoughts'; it was a simple way to differentiate it from the one she had heard once a couple of years ago, 'the gentle one'.

Which is why suddenly hearing her felt troubling. Then again…had she actually heard her or had it just been a fleeting thought against Tim?

"Celia-san!"

Jumping in her skin and quite literally off of the fence, Celia had to hold onto the yelp that Allen's sudden call almost brought out of her. Timcanpy rolled in the air after being so unceremoniously tossed by Celia before unfurling his wings and landing back on top of her head just before she dashed out to meet Allen and Cross halfway through the gravel path.

"Don't space out like that, brat."

Great, a reprimand first thing in the morning.

"Don't leave me waiting for so long then," she countered with a pout. "It takes ages when you two go out to buy groceries."

"I know," Allen said with a heavy sigh. "Master stopping at every woman that catches his eye makes it take all the longer as well."

"Don't pin this on me," he said with a shrug. "I will never be one to decline a beauty's company."

Cross' blasé remark wasn't surprising in the least, though not any less infuriating that it had been his usual debauchery that wasted their time and cost her boredom. With ease, he took a swig of his cigarette and released the smoke their way in a swift line. Allen swatted away the smell but Celia simply looked away from the trajectory without minding the smell all that much.

"Well, thanks to that, breakfast is going to take that much longer. Since you were the cause, you might as well get last plate, mangy priest."

"You dare threaten me?" he scoffed, despite the obvious annoyance climbing in his tone.

"You mess with my eating schedule, I mess with yours."

"You twerp—"

"Alright then!" Allen's nervous pitch reached a bit of an upper octave as he did his best to stand between them and put some distance between the two. Turning to the one he could better deal with, Allen smiled back at Celia and tilted his head, "We should hurry if time's already been cut short. Besides, if I help you prepare everything, we won't be technically skipping breakfast."

"Good point, Al." Returning his tenuous smile with a bright and cheery one, Celia reached out to take the second bag of groceries he was holding. "Geez, Cross, as least help him. Really, how lazy can you be?"

"I-I don't have a problem with it," Allen said. Knowing better than to argue with her, however, he allowed her the chance to take the bag from his grip under his left arm. "It helps me move it more."

"Still, he shouldn't—"

Bright.

Celia couldn't think of anything else except how blindingly bright the emerald light that suddenly exploded at her touch was. Then the sweltering heat took over. It came just as suddenly, that strangely familiar blooming pain from her chest that then rushed towards her left hand. That hotness akin to what she imagined molten lava would feel like coursed through her veins and through the pores of her hands, forming that thin, second-skin of a glove around her left hand.

This…

This had happened before…when Hand of God absorbed that Innocence.

Let go. Let go. Let go of him!

Her hand wouldn't listen. She didn't even realize when but her fingers had somehow wrapped around his wrist and wouldn't release him now. Her body, it just wasn't listening to her.

Allen's screams pierced her eardrums as the emerald shine intensified. Even him attempting to pry her hand away from his while she desperately clawed at it to unlatch her fingers served nothing. All their efforts were useless. Her hand wouldn't let go. It wasn't listening to her.

"I...want it…give it… take…."

Her amethyst eyes widened at how crystal clear the voice was. There was no mistaking it now. It returned with vigor, gaining its strength the longer their second's long touch kept stretching on. The words repeated, over and over, their yearning clear and overflowing with venom. With resolution.

With greed.

"Take it!"

Bam.

Celia didn't react.

Didn't know how to.

Not at first.

Not until her mind finally registered the sudden pain on her forearm—a different kind of pain this time—along with the warmth of her own blood slipping down and coating her hand and fingers. Not until her hand finally released Allen's wrist and the emerald light inhibiting their vision died down. Not until she saw the bullet hole that was left on her arm.

A hefty groan escaped her then as she fell to her knees, holding her wounded arm close to her chest as the blood continued to slip through her firm grasp around the wound.

"C-Celia-san—"

"Don't!"

Her own screech burst her eardrums…and stopped Allen in his tracks. Panting heavily, Celia had to focus hard on what was happening around her to even register that Allen had stepped closer in her direction. After what happened, that was the last thing she wanted.

"Don't…don't come any closer, Allen. Please…"

There wasn't a chance for him to protest. Not when Cross stepped forward and put himself between them, kneeling down to check on her. Without thinking, Celia brought her arm closer to her chest only to groan at the unexpected pain that rushed through her again. Normal pain, though. Somehow, that in itself gave her ease of mind that whatever happened was over.

Cross stemmed the bleeding from the bullet wound, bandaging it with what cloth he had at hand and wrapping it tightly around the wound.

"It was a clean exit," she heard him mutter under his breath, hissing at him when he pressed the cloth particularly hard on her arm. "We'll have to stitch it but other than that, you'll be fine."

"Master, what just happened?" There was no denying the panic and fear that was in Allen's voice. He had never seen anything like that before, after all. And frankly, she'd never felt anything like it either. Not even the first time it happened. "That light—"

"Drop the subject, stupid apprentice." Cross' voice wasn't harsh nor cold like it usually was when he reprimanded them. It was simply impassive. To her, that was worse. "Can you stand?"

He's talking to you, her brain alerted her. Carefully, she tested her legs and after a moment, Celia managed to stand on somewhat shaky feet.

"Good," he said. "Let's head back and treat it."

For once, the two did as they were told. Both out of sheer confusion. Though she was certain that the topic differed between them, there was much to be wary about.


|Christmas Eve|

It was lucky that Allen was such a heavy sleeper. It let her gather her few belongings without much hassle. The sudden deep growl that came from his direction made Celia jump and turn to quickly hush Timcanpy who'd awoken with the noise.

"...I'm just going out for a quick breath of fresh air. Go back to sleep, Tim."

Liar, he growled. He didn't really but it was how she pretended to communicate with him. Ever since meeting him, it had been their fun little game. The golem didn't listen though and started trying to pry himself out of Allen's tight hold but didn't get far before Celia scurried over and pushed him down to stay with her hand.

Carefully as possible so as not to touch Allen.

It was then that Timcanpy stopped, becoming perfectly still, and Celia knew that he understood. With a gentle smile, she petted him one last time.

"Look out for him for me, okay, Tim?"

The golden golem nodded once then leaned against her hand before licking it and snuggling back to Allen's side. His unusual tenderness touched her but she didn't allow herself to linger. The longer she did, the harder it would be to do what she knew had to be done.

The door to their shared bedroom was shut gently and with a quiet click as she stepped out. Turning around, Celia jumped in her skin at spotting Cross languidly sitting before the small wooden table where they had shared meals together. A small candle sat lit upon it and as if nothing was amiss, Cross held a cigarette upon the flame to light it. Bringing it to his lip, the redhead priest took a long breath to inhale the sweet nicotine before releasing the smoke slowly through his nose.

She hated to admit it, but no other person she had met before or since held ever the ounce of elegance when doing something as mundane as smoking a cigarette.

Without preamble, Cross lowered the hand with which he held the nicotine stick and gently knocked the back of his knuckles on the table, the sound quiet enough for only them two to hear.

"Sit."

Celia didn't protest. She took the seat across him and settled the suitcase beside her.

Cross took another swig before continuing. "I'm surprised you chose to take the initiative this time. Is it because you think I was going to send you away again?"

Her head lowered as she gave his question some thought.

"I won't lie," she said. "I knew it was a very likely outcome. It's painfully obvious that…Allen is more important to you. I don't know what it is or why—it's not like I really care either—but I can tell. I actually realized this back when we were with Auntie Ruby and Auntie Nessie. If it came down to either of us…I'm fairly certain who you'd choose."

Her hands rested on her lap and held tightly the hem of her skirts, the fabric crumpling under her knuckle-whitening grip.

"But I'm not leaving because I'm hoping to beat you to it if that's what you're thinking."

"It was a fleeting thought," he said. "But I think you've outgrown those sorts of childish tendencies if only a bit. So tell me, why are you choosing to leave?"

Such a simple question. Such a complicated answer.

Or…maybe not as complicated as I make it out to be.

"I'm afraid." The confession was said clearly and straightforwardly. It gave no room for pause and Celia made sure to give herself none either. "What happened today…it's happened before with another Innocence."

"I heard from Komui," Cross added. "Hand of God absorbed the Innocence into your body. Hevlaska had to rip it out, right?"

"It didn't just absorb it." Her amethyst gaze fell to the cross etched on her left wrist as she grazed her other thumb over it. "For those brief minutes after I took it in, I was able to use it…because Hand of God took it after I allowed it to. But this time…"

Her thumb stopped only for then her entire hand to wrap around her wrist and hide the cross away from sight.

"This time it did it on its own," she continued. "I heard that voice, those bad thoughts again, and…it wanted Allen's Innocence. I don't know if I would've been able to stop it had you not shot me." Her grip on her wrist loosened then and her hand gently rose to where her arm was now bandaged over freshly sewn-in stitches, courtesy of Cross.

"So your fear is that it'll happen again when I'm not here to stop it."

Celia nodded and finally raised her head to meet his crimson eye.

"I think keeping my distance is for the best. Not just from him but…from everybody. At least for the time being."

That crimson eye narrowed at her words. "You didn't intend to return to the Order after you left here then."

"If I can't control this, I'm afraid that I'll hurt them without meaning to. I'm afraid no one will have the courage to do what you did. They won't do what's necessary to stop me if it happens again."

"Better safe alone than endanger others. That's your plan?"

Celia paused briefly to let the lonely feeling that had crept inside her ever since she made up her mind finally sink in. There was only so little solace she could find in it. That this was her choice to do so gave her what confidence she needed to continue with it.

"Besides," feigning a smile, Celia spoke up in an attempt to lighten the mood. "It's not like I won't be doing my job as an Exorcist. I might not be able to communicate with Headquarters but I can leave little telltales of my visits like you do. They'll know it's me without having to deal with me head-on. Plus, exploring the world sounds fun. I've always liked doing so whenever we get to a new place I've never seen. This'll just be like that but on a much bigger scale, right? And while I'm at it I can also look for clues about—"

A small gasp left her when she realized a little too late that she had let her mouth run a little too far.

Damn my blabbermouth.

"Clues about what?"

"Um, well…y'know…" Sweating bullets, Celia tried her best to avoid his eye and failed spectacularly at it when she couldn't quite keep her gaze away for long enough.

Cross didn't need to be told what she was trying so desperately to avoid, however.

"Ashford, huh." There was nothing more to do now that he figured it out. Sullenly, Celia nodded once. "Why are you so keen about finding them? Even to the point that you haggled with me for information about them."

Now that the cat was out of the bag, there wasn't a point in hiding it from him. Not when he was the perfect person to speak about this with.

"It's going to sound silly but…it's because I'm envious." The fact that the reply didn't so much shock him as it seemed to intrigue him puzzled her. Taking the chance before he could tease her, Celia stuttered through her words as her grip on the hem of her skirt returned with fervor. "You know where I come from, the kind of circumstances I came from, and what I told you went on at Headquarters the year you sent me away. I'd be lying if I said that seeing all these people have some sense of belonging with others didn't make me jealous."

"I thought Headquarters was your family now. At least the brats there and Tiedoll and the other Exorcists and scientists, anyway."

"I'm very attached to them, yeah, but…it's not the same." One of her hands released her skirt and reached up to lay over her chest where she felt a tightness even now as she spoke about such a dour topic for her. "I still feel this emptiness inside me. Like I'm missing something that was once very dear to me. And though it's similar to what I have now with them, it's also different. Both are special to me but in very different ways. I want to know what it is and find out more about them."

"How do you know this will bring you that peace of mind?"

"I don't," she admitted with a half-smile. "But I also don't know that it won't. I won't find out which it is until I find them."

"And what if it does the opposite of what you think it will do?" This particular question was rather strange to her. It must've shown on her face too as Cross found himself clarifying his query. "Finding out could very well mean that emptiness will only grow. Or worse be filled with 'bad thoughts' as you call them."

Her amethyst eyes widened ever the slightest at the hypothetical he threw at her. The worst-case scenario. She had only given it little thought simply because she didn't want to even contemplate that it was a possibility. But Cross was right to bring it up. Even if there was only a slight chance of it, it was still possible. And if it was…

But I won't know that until I find out, will I?

"I may have my fears, but I also won't let them stop me from finding out the truth of who I am and where I came from. Even if it's the worst-case scenario. Even if I come to hate myself for doing this. I still want to know."

At last, silence. The disquieting kind.

It hung in the air for the time it took Cross to finish his cigarette. As he blew the last of the smoke upward and the small room became engulfed in the smell, he rummaged through his trouser pockets with his free hand without giving her a single glance. Before long, he produced something from them and swiftly laid it on the table only to slide it across to her. The moment he lifted his hand away, Celia recognized it as the small thing that Granny Mother had given him when they left.

Now so much closer than it had ever been, Celia recognized it as nothing more than a coin pendant on its chain.

"What is…"

"A start."

Cross gestured at it with a nod. Taking the hint, Celia took it in her hands and held it up to the little candlelight between them. There were bumps on the small silver coin that was no larger than her thumb. They seemed like some sort of image on one side—some kind of flower maybe?— and faded letters on the other.

"Does it…say something?" she asked while scrunching her eyes to see if that would help in deciphering them.

"Scientia est immortalis. Knowledge is immortal." Cross leaned back against his chair as he went on explaining. "It is the dictum used by those who associate with Ashford. Those who know of them will know this saying."

Celia felt her heart swell at just how big of a clue this tiny coin represented. At the same time, uncertainty crept in.

"Why do you have this?" she asked, though the one she wanted to ask the most didn't even dare leave her lips.

Why didn't you ever tell me?

"I know of them from passing," he said. "During my travels, I found myself becoming acquainted with someone associated with them. A friend of a friend, if you will. They have since passed but I was gifted this by them before that. Was told that if the need ever arose again, I needed only seek out someone familiar with the Ashford dictum to find them."

"They sound like some kind of secret sect or something."

Cross let out a heavy sigh. "You wouldn't be far off the mark with that assumption."

Though that didn't bode well with her, she continued the conversation forward. "Are these people part of my family?" she asked almost hopeful. Cross simply shrugged his shoulders and kept his gaze lowered and focused on where the coin had been on the table.

"It might be a start or it might not. All I know is that they were from where Hand of God took its first accommodator."

Hand of God's…first?

"I didn't know…" Celia raised her left hand to the light to better see the cross on her wrist. A second glance at it brought back the memory of when Cross first took her. Suddenly it made sense. "That's how you knew about it and how it worked."

Cross didn't reply and instead continued on. "That is what I can offer you on that end if to search for them is what you really want to do. Aside from that and—" Celia jumped a little in her chair when Cross suddenly dropped a small suitcase before her. "—this, it's all I can offer you."

"What is…?"

With only a glance as permission, Celia first put the pendant's chain over her head and around her neck before focusing on the case. With a quick spin, she turned the case around and opened it. There were only a few things inside. A pair of brown leather gloves, a small purse with what she presumed to be money, and at the center, nestled rather well, a small white ball that very easily was no bigger than her palm.

"The money is obvious. Don't get too excited though, it's what you would've earned by the time we left here so it's not much."

Like he said, the purse wasn't heavy. Even a mere glance inside was enough to tell her there wasn't much. But every little piece would count from now on.

"Take the ball."

Cautious, Celia took it in hand. Cross leaned forward and placed a finger on it before chanting a few words. That strange language he used when summoning Maria.

As if rising at his command, white wings unfurled from the ball as a distinctive tinkling noise came from the little pieces of glass that fell from the arch of the wings. What unfurled last was a tail that reminded her very much of Timcanpy's, nothing but a fluffy white mess. The insignia on its body was something else that differed from him as well. Instead of a cross, there was the outline of an eight-pointed star with its diagonal pointers smaller than the cardinal ones.

"A golem?"

"It's a prototype Navigator," Cross told her. "Agnes and I created the basic plan for it and based it on Timcanpy to facilitate the progress. Though it's not exactly the same, it has very similar features to Tim. It can also connect you or keep you out of the Order's radar."

"This sounds like something you would've made for Al," she said with a chuckle. The golem shook itself as if stretching before taking flight before her.

"He already has Tim."

That statement gave her pause. Was this supposed to be mine all along?

"It'll take interacting with it for it to gain any sort of personality like Tim, but that'll fall under you how it turns out, really. Its main function is navigation as its name implies. You'll need it if your poor sense of direction is anything to go by."

Celia groaned at the jab but didn't say anything back before turning to the last thing in the suitcase. "And these?" she asked, lifting the pair of brown leather gloves.

Bringing out yet another cigarette, Cross used the half-melted candle to light it once again before answering without even meeting her eyes.

"Allen bought the gloves while we were out today. Said something about your hands always being red and bruised during the wintertime or something."

A pang shot through her chest at hearing that and had her instantly trying them on. They were a little on the big side but they were very good quality. What's more, they were the warmest gloves she'd ever worn. Remembering something at taking this gift, she looked through her own packed suitcase and brought out a couple of small packages before sliding them towards Cross.

"Give the blue one to Allen tomorrow for me, please."

"Sure." He lifted the blue box that seemed rather small in his hands and shook it before putting it down after getting chewed off for it. Cross then picked the other one that was wrapped in dark red paper. "And this one?"

"You can open that one tomorrow," she said with a smile before standing up from her seat. "I don't wanna have to hear you complain about my Christmas gift to you."

Celia stood there now having finished all she had wanted to say. Well, not really. There was a lot she still wanted to talk to Cross about but now wasn't the time. The longer she stayed here and reminisced the harder it'd be to leave. And they both agreed that her leaving was indeed for the best. So instead, she took a step back and bowed.

"Thank you for the help," she said, before straightening up and offering him a half-smile. "And for not kicking me out back then. I enjoyed the time I spent with you two, even when all you did was get on my nerves."

Cross scoffed and took another inhale of the new cigarette. "That should be my line."

Chuckling at his usual antics, Celia stepped away and headed to the door only to stop with her hand on the knob. Leave, she told herself. It's better for everyone. It's what you should've done a long time ago. Besides, it's not like Cross wanted her here, anyway. He had enough with taking care of Allen.

"For every encounter, there must be a departure. We must always be prepared to say goodbye, even when we're not."

"Goodbye—" No. With a grand smile on her face, Celia glanced over her shoulder at her teacher. "See you later, Cross."

With makeshift confidence, Celia turned the knob, opened the door—

And left.


|A few hours later.|

Knowledge is immortal…huh.

Using the last caboose of the train she was in to have some privacy, Celia toyed around with the small coin pendant that was now around her neck and held it out against the light of day. Her golem's tinkling alerted her that it had left her bag and the little bit of weight on her head told her where it now rested.

A bit disheartened, she leaned on the railings that separated her from the tracks that passed dangerously fast before them.

"This is gonna be tougher than I first thought." The coin was indeed a clue but there wasn't much of a location or starting point that she could discern from it. "Don't get me wrong it's great, but a 'start here' would've also been greatly appreciated."

Celia heaved a long sigh but stopped when she felt the weight of her golem leave her head. Glancing up, the golem flying beside her gave off that tinkling sound repeatedly as she faced her. Looking closer, it took Celia a moment to notice that the outline of the diamond shapes that formed the star on its face was blinking in unison. It took a moment but soon after some narrowing down, only one diamond remained: the one pointing northwest. To emphasize the point, the golem turned its whole body to face that direction as well.

"Its main function is navigation as its name implies. You'll need it if your poor sense of direction is anything to go by."

Celia chuckled at the irony. It hadn't been all that much of a jab, after all.

What did Cross call it? A prototype Navigator?

Navigator... That's a little bit too long.

"I think Navi will suit you better." The golem's star blinked again before it turned back to the solid black lines it originally had. Standing back up, Celia watched as the city where she, Allen, and Cross had resided for the past few weeks receded from view.

It pained her to leave like that. Especially because she didn't get to say goodbye to Allen. But this was something that had to be done. At least until she could find a way to control this properly.

For Allen, for Lenalee, for Yuu.

"I'll get this under control. I'll find something about them, too. And once I do and I find myself going back, I hope you can welcome me back like you always have before."

With a smile or a scowl and a cheerful 'welcome home'.


A/N:

I know I've been so slow with any updates at all but I hope this super-mega one makes up for a little of the wait ya'll have had to go through. It took me 5 nights to write and almost 3 hours to edit! The wonders of a whole free week of Spring Break have shone on me!

For those from the OG story, you might recognize that first like ⅓ of this chapter. That was actually the sneak peak I offered back when I announced (the 2nd time anyway) that I'd be rewriting this story. And now here we are! Also, my bad, I kinda lied last chapter when I said that'd be the last of child Celia. This will be the last because next time it'll be time for huge time skip AND we'll be jumping right into the DGM story proper! At last I'll finally be on the tracks of the OG story again.

My time has been heavily constricted this year and I don't think it'll get any better. I hope you all have the patience to stay with me as I continue this story because I'm really excited about all the stuff I've retcon and rewritten from the OG one to make this one! It's truly turning into a favortie of mine the more I think about it.

For now thank you all for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! Hope you enjoyed and stay tuned for the next update! :D

Crying tears of joy after finishing 60+ page editing,

Evie.