Chapter 4: Witch-Hunt
"Hello everyone, thank you for coming. I am Carlisle Fisher, I'm the chief executive officer of Cadal LTD. Today we grieve the lives lost of the Cadal oil platform Beira D, that took 38 lives from families. Cadal personally wants to offer our sympathies, and our greatest pardons for this incalculable error. As well as offer the families and the United Kingdom as a whole a detailed report of our investigations into this tragedy. We understand the public outrage from this loss. We feel the same mistake should never be repeated. As of now our safety officers are developing ways to implement advanced safety measures on our existing rigs, so we can continue to be pioneers of technical know-how, and the UK's leading energy provider. We deeply value the safety of our personnel. We are responsible for these men and women to return home to their families safely. For this tragedy to happen on one of our licensed oil platforms is a disgrace in our principles, our integrity, and our values.
Due to a fault in the generators of the Engineering quarter, and an unaddressed leak of oil from the derrick, we believe that this sparked a blaze that travelled to the higher deck, thus catching the trail of oil from the derrick, leading to a colossal explosion. We believe the Site Manager on duty failed to issue an evacuation when signs of fire were detectable. As well as his duty to perform daily inspections of mechanical equipment. Despite this error, we are now ensuring a full retraining program of the Site Managers on our rigs. A safety plan to be addressed in drills routinely. As well as evacuation drills and more effective routes to muster points. We want the United Kingdom to keep in trust of our quest in bringing energy to our communities. To protect your sons and fathers, your husbands and wives, from this kind of disaster ever happening again. Our mission statement for the UK stays true. The public outcry will not be ignored. We are here for the United Kingdom. For the families that lost a loved one. For your communities. We will continue to address these concerns until our platforms continue to be the number one pioneers of technical know-how, and the leading provider of energy in the UK. Thank you."
"Alright, I'll be back to pick you up in an hour, Jane. You sure you don't want me to come with you?"
"Nah, it's fine. I can go."
"You're only fifteen, Jane. Will be a lot of people in there. You may be a little out of your depth."
Jane flicked her head back to her mother from the passenger seat. "Mum. You didnae care for this, but someone's gotta speak for dad. If it's not gonnae be you, it's gotta be me."
"You act like I don't care, Jane. That's not true."
"You divorced him, mum. He didnae divorce you. Just… I'll see you after." Jane opened the passenger door leaving her mother distraught.
"Jane Innes!"
She didn't respond. Simply walked forward into the legion hall with her backpack flapping on her side against her jaunt. The hall was lined outside the street with cars on each side of the road, all attending a legality meeting held by a team of lawyers. Only for the families of those lost in the Beira D's explosion. When Jane got inside, she was greeted to a steady rabble of chatter and people. Some taking their seats, others rambling amongst each other. It was a Sunday evening. Late October of 1976. A day a Scot would usually spend at home with family. However, the families in the hall didn't have that comfort.
Jane passed a mother scolding her teenagers at the seats.
"You can stuff your party, and you can shut it, Nancy! I told you about this weeks ago!"
"Yeah!" Nancy hissed at her mother, "That was before Fred announced his Halloween party. Everyone at school is going! I'm the only loser not there. Instead, I'm in stupid Scotland. Like this is gonna do dad any good anyway."
"Nancy Addair, you take that back." Karen warned.
Michael, a preteen to his mother's left hissed, "No one cares, Nance. It's always the end of the world with you. This isn't about you, it's about dad!"
Karen snapped, "Would you two – " She hushed when a senior woman with a walker scooted over to them.
"Hello, is this seat taken?" The woman asked, gesturing to the seat beside Karen.
"No! Of course, not! Please."
The woman sat beside Karen. Her perfume was a bit strong, but her knitted jumper and neatly curled silver hair was curiously warming to Karen's side. Like a motherly presence. She said, "I'm sorry for your loss, dear. That's why we're here. We've all… lost someone. Who was it for you and your weans?"
Karen took a while to reply, then said shakily, "My husband… John. John Addair."
"Oh, I'm sorry, love. Truly. I canny express it enough." Her voice quivered as if she was about to cry.
"You?" Karen asked softly.
"My lad. Well, he was a grown man when he was taken from us. Nearly a fifty-year-old," she lightly chuckled to herself, "Ivan. Ivan Campbell. I'm Celine Campbell, it's nice to meet you."
"Karen Addair, you too. I'm sorry about your son."
"I kept saying that boy to marry and have me some grands. He just couldn't find himself the right lass, I suppose. Picky, I think."
Karen made a gentle smile, Celine continued, "Now… I'm afraid the Campbell name will die with me. Someone direly should be held responsible for that, I say. For all the poor bairns. It's about time we're doing something about it. Cadal can make all the scripted apologies they want. They're not getting out of this one pretty, I'll tell you."
Karen nodded, "Let us hope not."
"Who started the lawsuit again? It was family members of the crew, wasn't it?"
"Uh. A Susan McLeary and Josie Cartier, I think? I could be wrong."
"Oh, bless 'em. Nothing quite as sharp as a widow's rage. Good for them."
Jane sat next to a man, definitely in his late twenties. His hair slicked back and a leather jacket. He was looking over court documents.
"You pretty young to be here yourself, eh." He observed, not even looking up from his papers.
"What's it to you?"
He scoffed a chuckle and looked up in amusement, "Nevermind. Good on ya, lass. Who you here for?"
Jane rolled her eyes, "Should I ask it again?"
"Here for me mum. Evin Finlay. Tough as all nails but she raised me hardy. Least I can do is make sure her memory isn't pissed on by corporate eejits. You lose your dad?"
"Irvin Innes, aye."
"Why you hear by yourself?"
Jane looked away and grumbled, "Cause my mum care more about her new boyfriend."
"Shite. She one of those types."
Jane smirked, but still kept her dry tone, "Yup. Always will be."
Through the crowd looking for seats pushed an older woman with a young boy. Close to his teens but not quite there yet. "Grandma, slow down!"
"Just keep my hand, Lennox. We'll find seats at the front."
They sat beside Jane and Joseph. The woman said to Joseph gladly. "Well, I'll be damned, is that Joseph Finlay? I remember you from the vigil. How are you, son?"
"Grand. What about you, Liz? You get Jim's insurance for the lad?"
"Six months ago now. Made sure to tuck most of it away for Lennox when he comes of age. The rest went to the funeral. Jim would have wanted it that way."
Joseph smiled gratefully and said to Lennox, "How you holdin' up, wee man?"
"I'm good. School exams getting on me, but other than that… I've been okay."
"Who's this little one, then. Hello, darl'." Liz asked directed to Jane.
She answered quietly, "Uh. Jane Innes. My dad was Irvin Innes. Deck Supervisor."
"Oh, dear. I'm sorry, love. My son was Jim Gibson, petrol engineer. Most on the rig called him Gibbo. They used to call me late husband that on the locomotive back in the day. I read about Innes. Was liked by the crew. I'm sure my boy and your dad got along well."
Jane said back dryly, "My dad… got along with everyone."
Their attention was caught by the entrance of suits and pencil skirts. A gaggle of lawyers. Two women who seemed a bit out of place among the crowd, as well. One had an infant in her arms, the other wore a knitted sweater and jeans. Josie carried Noelle, who was starting to fuss. She lightly patted her bottom and bobbed with her inside the hall. Suze and the lead lawyer of the case, Carmin Fletcher, at her sides. Fletcher, an American lawyer known for her stern and ruthless career against corporate corruption.
"We're not even indulging that bullshit statement from Cadal. This was their fuck up, and their's alone." Josie hissed to Carmin who quickly handed a fold of paper to a colleague as she observed the attendance.
"I know that, Josie. Look, if they want to go for Rennick, they'll surely be disappointed. Cadal has far more payout to the families than I'm sure Davey Rennick has in all his accounts. He's a recent divorcée, a six-figure salary, sure, but most of his assets went to his ex-wife. His life insurance split as inheritance to his sons. If these people choose to listen to Cadal, they threaten the chances of their take in this lawsuit."
Suze nudged Josie's arm, "Ya see? I told you."
"We won't be taking Cadal's statement lightly. That's their defence. We have ours. And, we have you. You're the only crewmate on that rig who can provide the true conditions. Not to mention your relationship with Davey and what he told you about Cadal's management."
Suze interrupted, "What about Henderson? You get a hold of him? Or any of the other crew who were on shore for the holidays?"
"No. Likely Cadal has hushed them into an agreement by now. Josie is the only one they haven't tried to contact, that's likely because you got to litigation first."
Josie said dourly, "Or because they have something on me."
"You were exclusively hired by Cadal through the Oxford program. There is absolutely no reason for you to go against Cadal unless there was an obvious and gross negligence that you observed while employed. Whatever argument they have against you, I can assure you, we'll counter it." Carmin looked along the crowd and her face went still when she saw the likes of two men scrounging for seating. "I should warn you; Callum and Jack Rennick are involved in the lawsuit. They're attending today."
Josie curved her lip, "So? What's that gotta do with me?"
"This lawsuit only includes payment for family members. There's a chance Davey's portion would go to them."
Suze detested, "Naw. What about Noelle? That's his daughter."
"But can't be confirmed. Davey isn't here to do so, and I doubt Callum and Jack would agree to HLA typing. Even if they did, it's only most effective with the father. Seeing it's a baby out of wedlock… Noelle's claim would likely be discredited."
Josie winced to herself before glaring back at Jack and Callum. Both younger clones of Rennick. Jack even honing the same large glasses. Carmin continued, "Have you… spoken to them, yet? About Noelle?"
"Merde. Of course, not. Before we made her, we were only stone throw from killing each other. I hate to say it, but Davey was a cunt. He only started to get better when he got into my suit. If they're anything like their father… there'd be no point in talking to them. Jesus, they even look like him."
Suze warned, "Glass houses, Jo. You donny know someone till you've opened the book. Stop judging the cover."
"I'm only saying this because," continued Carmin, "Maybe if they found out they had a sister - a baby sister, no less - they'd forfeit their cut to her. Hopeful thinking but you'd be surprised. They just lost their father. Maybe finding out about Noelle is the comfort they'd need. If you're willing to open that door, first."
Josie glanced back to the brothers one more time, but this time catching Jack's right back. She flicked her eyes away from his glare and back to Carmin. "Seems like a shit idea."
"Maybe for you. Not for Noelle. You're gonna have to make a decision for her. Even if it's talking to Rennick's sons." Carmin added coolly, "You two should take your seats, we're going to start soon."
Josie and Suze sat in the front pews, both taking turns in bobbing Noelle on their knees. A woman sat beside them. Short black hair, much like Suze, but permed. Large doe eyes and a button up blouse. She looked to be along Suze's age.
"She's lovely, isn't she?" The woman observed Noelle with a smile, "How old?"
Josie smiled back, "Four months. Thank you."
"Was the dad on the rig?"
"Uh." Josie was still in the habit of keeping her relationship with Rennick secret. However, she quickly realized there wasn't a point in that anymore. "Yes, he was."
"My husband worked in the legs. Mary O'Connor, nice to meet you and the wee dove. I'm sorry for your loss."
"You too… Josie Cartier. You… you were Donald's wife?"
"You knew him?"
Josie nodded, "Yes. I worked on the rig, too. Mechanic. O'Connor and I didn't really speak to each other too much, but he was a gentle soul. He had a great voice."
Mary had a laugh, shadowed with a flush of emotion. "Yes, yes, he did. Played guitar beautifully, too."
"I'd believe it. He was good sort. I… I'm sorry, truly."
Mary wiped a stray tear, "Thank you. Who… what was your husband's name? Or the… the father?"
Before Josie could answer, the mic on stage began to squeak. "Attention!" Carmin called over the fleeting chatter, "May I have your attention, please. Hello, everyone. I am Carmin Fletcher, I am a litigation lawyer from London, England. I firstly want to say how deeply saddened I am. For everyone in this room. If you've been invited here today, then you have lost someone due to this senseless and frankly, negligent error. Now I know Cadal released their statement yesterday evening, but I firstly want to urge you all that this is a corporation with a track record of cutting corners and neglecting staff. They can say what they like, but the truth of it remains this was their rig. Their logo on the walls. On the uniforms your loved ones wore. They were Cadal's charge. And they failed them. Not the Site Manager. Them. Today, we will begin our journey for justice."
One of the family members got up in a hurry, "Can Cadal afford a lawsuit of this magnitude? 38 families to pay out is a lot."
Carmin answered, "That is not our concern. Our concern is making sure they are liable for the deaths of your family members. If insurance won't cover, they'll have to by other means. Either way, there will be a large sum for each of the families of the crew who died on the Beira."
Then Mary stood up, startling Josie and Suze. "And what about Davey Rennick? He should be held responsible for the deaths, as well. Are we going after his funds, too?"
Josie bit her tongue. Despite how badly it wanted to waggle in battle. Well, it's a good fucking thing you didn't tell her, then.
But then Jack stood up, his voice a memory of Rennick's if a bit younger. "You daft, ya numpty? How you expect to get blood from a dead man?"
"Our father died on that rig, too! Any a' you expect to hold him responsible cause of the words of Cadal, yer fucking deluded!" Callum ranted aloud to the hall.
Karen barked up, "Hey! There're children here! Language!"
"He failed to evacuate our family members! If he had, they'd be here now! He failed to keep maintenance of the machines! To check for hazards! Is that not a Site Manager's job?!" Advik Sunil berated with a scolding finger at Callum and Jack. Some of the heads in the seats nodded and clapped in agreement.
"Pretty hard to evacuate in the milli-second before explosion, ya nade prick! They say whatever they need to protect their own. They're throwin' our father to the wolves so we donny act. Open your eyes, mate!"
Carmin called over the arguing, "Attention! Enough, please!"
Advik persisted heatedly, "Of course you say so! To protect your bastard father who killed our children!"
"The fuck did you say?!" Jack nearly leapt over the empty seats to get at Advik, but was restrained by Callum. Advik fell into his seat, with his wife pulling him back. In a moment, the hall turned into a rouse of panicked banter. Fingers flying, cusses tossing, and scowls spread to almost every face. Suze and Josie exchanged worried glares as Josie tried to cover Noelle's ears. Karen was busy barking at the men to watch their language as Michael and Nancy drolly listened to the arguments. Celine shook her head in grievance, somewhat thankful her hearing was as bad as it was.
"Attention!" Carmin's voice rang in feedback on the microphone, gaining everyone's startled silence.
Suze mumbled to Josie, "Fucking roasters…"
"Now, I want to address this before anymore heated spirits take time away from this meeting. Davey Rennick will not be under our scrutiny. As far as we know, he is a victim in this tragedy, just like all of those in the explosion. Anything that is the word of Cadal is not to be taken literally, especially not with the people in this room. If we wish for the court proceedings to be in our favour, the witch hunt for Davey Rennick and his family will not be tolerated. If you cannot guarantee this, I ask you leave now. If you do, understand this could jeopardize your part in the compensation."
The low but bitter tones of the attendees rose then died down, with all still sitting in their seats. Carmin continued, "Going after Davey Rennick and his assets would utterly decimate our case. Not only are his assets not even enough to cover an adequate pay cheque for one of you, but the proof of his negligence according to Cadal is hearsay. And frankly, slander. You are all brothers and sisters in this room, all a community of the same kind of tragedy. That includes the Rennicks. If we have a hope of this lawsuit to be in our favour, we all must band together and remember the common denominator that made this explosion possible. That put men and women on that rig when it was not up to code. Cadal. That is our adversary. No one else. We will have a slot of questions at the end of this, but for now, I will be going over the case we have against Cadal corporation and the case they have in their defence as of now. Before a trial can begin, I need to ensure anyone who is involved in this lawsuit is all on the same page. Or there will be no reimbursement for the deaths of your loved ones."
The room stayed quiet, begrudgingly but respectfully. With that, Carmin continued reading the details of the case. "Upon further investigation we've determined that the Cadal management had been recurrently negligent of their rigs in practice for the previous four years since the corporation was assembled. A newborn company, so many of these rigs were the frontier, using limited budgets with constant pay cuts to perform dangerous operations over sea water, the extraction of oil the most imperative focus by management. Safety measurements were the least funded and…"
As Carmin read from the logs, Suze's mind kept wandering to Caz. Every new detail regarding the conditions of the rig and the death trap he fell into, another stain in her mind revisited.
"Just donny do it, Caz. How many times must I say it?"
Caz slapped his paperwork on the kitchen counter. "It's already done, Suze. I start next week. Just got off the phone with this Rennick, he said they need leccy work"
"So, call him back."
"Suze, fucking Christ."
"You're runnin'! You're runnin' again! Everytime it gets hard, McLeary – why canny you grow a set of baws!"
"Suze… come on. You want me to go to jail?"
"I want you to be accountable for once! You run, you're only gonnae make it worse! You need to face it! Sort it! If you donny you're just gon drag the girls and I with you!"
"I just need to step away for a minute, right? Let Chamberlain cool off and the polis will go away. I promise, Suze. It's only for a wee bit. I come back it'll be set right. I know it."
Suze scoffed, "You only ken what you want, Caz. The world works a lot differently than you think. I need you… I need you to just listen to me. Just do what I'm sayin'. Don't run. I'm not gonnae beg you. You make this choice, you make your bed. We won't wait for you if you do. Remember that."
Caz made a cheeky smile. The kind of smile that was playful. "I ken you will. Don't say that."
Unlike when he'd usually crease that smile, Suze didn't return it. "Not this time."
Suze suddenly startled to Josie nudging her thigh. "You got any questions? Their lining up now."
She looked back to the assembly of family members to the middle of the pews. She shook her head, "Naw. I ken what's going on. It… makes sense to me."
Jane got back into her mother's van with a slam of the passenger
"Jesus… careful." She said, "Well, how was it? Any progress?"
"Why do you care?" Jane asked petulantly as she leaned into her seat.
Her mother snapped, "Would you stop it already? What the hell is wrong with you? You think I donny care about your dad?"
"I know you don't. Stop trying to make yourself feel better, right? You… you didnae even go to the vigil! You complained the whole time planning the funeral! You moved in with Garret a month after he died! I'm sorry, mum, actions speak louder than words. So just… shut up!"
"Jane Innes, I swear to the lord, you need to stop talkin to me like this! I was patient with you. Now it's been a year. I'm done."
"What could he have possibly done?"
Her mother flummoxed, "What?"
"What did he do? For you to just… break it off?! To just forget about him in a month and move in with some prick that donny even talk to me! Why would you leave him?!"
"Because I wasn't the one who wanted it!"
Jane's glare broke at hearing it, "What?"
Her mother sighed. "Your dad and I… we were together for five years before we had you. I didnae think I would be with anyone else, either. Then one day he comes home… and tells me he wants a divorce. He wouldn't tell me at first but eventually he did open up and…"
"And what…? Mum. What?"
"He made me promise to never tell you, Jane. I canny. But… all you need to know is it was what he wanted. I got it off the ground. He was on that rig, so I had to. But it wasn't my idea. You have to believe me. I took the abuse at first, hoping you'd eventually get over it but… I'm done doing him a favour when all it's doing is costing me you."
"Mum. What did he do? Did… did he hit you? Did he cheat?!"
"No! Nothing like that! Have you met your father? He could never. Would never. Could barely set a mouse trap without feeling guilty. Naw."
"Then what, mum? Just tell me. Like you said, he's gone. Whatever it is, you can tell me now. If you want me to believe you."
Jack and Callum walked to their vehicles outside, their keys jangling in their hands.
"Fucking pricks, the lot of them." Jack snarled.
Callum replied, "Aye, at least the lawyer has our back, right?"
"Fucking towelhead in there was aching for a dental extraction, eh."
Josie followed them outside, suddenly handing Noelle to Suze. "You watch her for a minute?"
"What're doin? You're off yer heid you think you're goin' over there!"
"Just trust me, okay? You heard Carmin. This might be my only chance."
Suze hissed as she took Noelle, "Phones exist, ya bampot! Not after whatever that shite was in there, it's the worst time!"
"I'll be quick! Fuck! Just please!"
Josie slapped her heels through rain puddles to catch up to the brother's banter. They were a street from their vehicles when Josie called out, "Excuse me! Jack! Callum!"
"Who's this then?" Jack turned around in a curved lip.
Callum said back, "Ey, love, we were just leavin'."
"I'm sorry, I know," sighed Josie as she caught her breath, "I just… really needed to speak to you two. I figure it should be now; I don't know when I'll get the chance to be face to face with you both again."
"Saw you staring at me in the hall. I'm married and so is my brother. Donny worry, you'll snag a bloke with that accent. What is that? French?" Jack mocked crassly, making Callum wince in embarrassment.
"Oh, shut it, Jack. Ignore my brother, he's a cunt. What's the problem?"
Josie hindered now. Yup. They're Rennick. Complete fucking connards. Even so, she had nothing to lose but time. "I'm Josie Cartier. I was… employed on the rig. With your father."
Jack confronted, "So what? You think he's responsible, too, do you?"
"No, of course I don't. I knew your dad. I…" Nerves stalled her words, "I was… involved with your dad. With Davey. I had a relationship with him."
The brothers stood stunned for a while. They looked at each other, exchanging a look as if they doubted she was serious. Callum asked cautiously, "How old are you?"
"I'm twenty six."
Jack broke out into a laugh that belittled Josie's sincerity. "You're full of shite. Like he'd ever do that. Our dad was a mean, bitter old fud, but he wouldn't fuck younger than half his age! Fuck me, you're younger than his own sons!"
"I have no reason to lie."
"I know what this is," said Jack, "You're trying to shit on his name, aren't ya? Make up some… gross, shameful lie about him to bring him down. Shit on his name worse than the papers already are! Is that what this is?"
"Of course not! I'm telling you this because… because I – I had his baby! The baby you saw me holding inside the hall, that's his kid. Your sister. Her name is Noelle. She has your last name. Please… I… I wouldn't fucking lie about this. I just need you to know the truth. Both of you."
Callum finally spoke up before Jack (who was fuming) could utter a word, "How do we know you're telling the truth? If he's not here to confirm that, then how do we know you're not just another nut trying to fuck with our family?"
"You don't. One of you'd need to go under paternity testing. You have his DNA, I'm sure it would match with Noelle, but… even then it's only the most accurate with the father. I… I didn't know I was pregnant until I was back onshore. Until… after the rig exploded. But she's his. She is undeniably his. Go… go look at her. Trust me. You see her, you'll see him. There's no denying it's his baby. I promise."
Callum replied, "Where even is she – "
Jack angrily cut him off with an impatient slap of his hand on Callum's shoulder. "Oh, come on! Donny tell me you're believing this cow! She's full of shite! She's fucking mental."
"Your mother's name is Linda Rennick. Maiden name Holden. They were high school sweethearts but weren't married until he came back from the war. He saved a farmer in Peterhead when it was bombed. It was his most famous war story. I'm sure he's told you both. He's allergic to bees. Like deathly allergic. He gets stung by one, his throat swells up. He has a scar on his back shoulder from when he got shot. He…"
"Shut your fucking gob!" Jack snapped.
Callum said in a choke of his voice, "Jack…" He asked Josie tearily, "How do you… how do you know all of that?"
"Because I knew him! He told me. He told me more, I can tell you all of it but… please one of you just has to believe me. I get your anger, you wouldn't be Davey's boys if you didn't have at least a little. And from what he told me, he didn't do right by you two. Not as he should have. And he regretted it everyday. He loved you both. So much. He wanted to be closer to you two. He just didn't know how. Doesn't mean he didn't care. I don't know you two but… Noelle… she deserves people in her life. Family. I'm sorry, I know this is something you don't want to know about him but… it happened."
"Why are you only telling us this now? Why didn't you come find us when you knew you were knocked up?" Callum asked.
Josie replied, "Because of this! Not exactly a warm reaction I'm getting, is it? But… if this lawsuit goes our way… Noelle should be entitled to the money, too."
Jack broke out into another scornful laugh, "There it is. I fucking knew it. She wants the money, Callum. For fuck sakes. Let's go, already!"
"That's a fucking lie! That's not it! Even if you say no, I still wanted to know you both! I wanted Noelle to…" Josie broke out into a quaver.
"Fuck you and stay away from us, you understand me? You try anything, or try to slander my father's name, we will fucking bury you. You hear me? Now fuck off!"
Jack pulled Callum away, who was far more hesitant to refute Josie's confession.
"Please…" Josie wept, "I swear… I'm not trying anything."
Suze called from across the street, "Josie! Come on!" Noelle was wailing in her arms.
"Aye, get back to your bastard ween, slag! We're not listening to another fucking word!" Jack spat at the ground before Josie, leaving her trembling as they got into their trucks.
Suze overheard him and snapped, "Hey! Fuck off then! Josie, love. Come. It's alright!"
Their trucks roared, lighting Josie's green coat in the headlights. She started to drift back across the street to Suze. Her eyes heating under the cool October air. She kept them down to the pavement in a battle against the tear in her chest.
"Josie…" Suze soothed, but Josie was cold.
"Can… can you put her in the car seat, please?" Josie managed to quaver past Suze on her way to the passenger side door.
She opened the door like it weighed a ton and shuffled inside. When it closed behind her, Josie slowly fell into herself. The whole world went quiet as she cried. Fighting so hard to stay silent, the pain raged in her throat. It ached in her head. Steady tears fell down her jawline and chilled, only to warm again when more came. Before long there was a battle to breathe. Suze caught the midst of it when she finally came around the car from Noelle and sat beside Josie. She noticed her pain right away.
"Jo…"
"Please take us home."
Suze reached for her hand and Josie pulled away. A squeak in her tone when she said, "No. Take us home, please."
Suze started the vehicle in dejected silence, dreading the noises of Josie's weeps beside her. As they pulled out to the street, Josie said it in a whisper, "They hate me."
"They're a pair of fuckin' eejits."
"No," quaked Josie, "I am. For thinking… we could have anything remotely normal for Noelle and me. A family…"
"You and Noelle have a family."
Josie looked down to her hands. She was digging her fingers into her palm. "But no part in his."
When Jane got home, she sprinted upstairs as soon the the warmth of hearth hit her face. Her mother called up, "Jane! Darling, please…"
Jane slammed the door into her room. The confession of her mother still ringing in her head. Her body was trying to cry, but her mind wouldn't allow it. She rummaged in her bedside table for a photo. A photo she'd been routinely admiring since the day the police came to their door on New Year's Eve. It was her father and herself out on the pond fishing. The first time she got a fish worth taking home for dinner. The pride in her father's voice was like the comfort of a hug. How he stopped nearly every person on the dock to brag of his daughter's catch. In a moment she missed him so much it may as well be eating her alive. Tears started to wet the photo, and she tucked it to her chest and cradled it. Why did he hide it from me? What did he think I would say? I told him everything. I thought he did the same for me. What was he thinking? That I'd be ashamed or… disgusted? That he wouldn't be my dad? How could he think that? How would it change that he's always been and will always be my hero.
