A/N: Writing this chapter got me really emotional honestly, I hope you'll love it.

...

"And you—the one I want to save the most—are standing against me!"

"I love you so much, Hikigaya-kun."

"It's this love that is making me do all of this... And you're unable to take good care of all the love I give to you."

"I don't want you to die, damn it... There's no way I can accept any future where I'm not by your side. You're my love, my future... my everything."

"Hachiman..."

"Hachiman."

Biiiiiiiip!

I jolted awake, gasping for breath. My chest heaved as cold sweat clung to my forehead, dampness spreading across my brow. My heart pounded violently, each beat a sharp, aching throb that I couldn't explain.

Clutching the fabric of my shirt, my fingers trembled uncontrollably before my body gave out, and I collapsed back onto the mattress.

What did I do?

What happened?

Pills... Yes, sure. The idiot I am forgot to take his pills before bed.

But the truth was, my last conversation with Yukinoshita had haunted my thoughts all night, like a ghost refusing to let my mind rest.

"Aarghh..." I groaned, the pain searing through my chest.

Damn it... My heart felt like it was caught in a net of barbed wire, each breath tightening the grip. My eyes flicked to the alarm clock: 9:49 AM.

Everyone must be out by now.

With my hand still tightly clutched at my shirt, I got up and staggered toward my desk. My pills had to be there.

I pulled the drawer, and finally got the pills in my hand.

These pills must be taken with water and swallowed directly, which meant I had to go to the bathroom now. I rushed out of my bedroom and into the bathroom, my heart burning with every passing second.

Why does it hurt so much right now? I hadn't done anything strenuous recently. Could it be the argument with Yukinoshita? The weight of her tears, the vulnerability she exposed to me... because of me.

I caused that.

Cough!

A violent spasm wracked my body, and I coughed, a bitter, metallic taste flooding my mouth.

Cough! Cough!

Each cough sent searing pain through my throat, as if the burning sensation itself was the source of the crimson streaks I was expelling from my mouth.

The bathroom door loomed ahead. I reached for it, pushed it open, and stumbled inside, a breathless groan escaping me as I landed hard on the cold tile floor.

I forced my legs to move, dragging myself to the sink. My trembling hand reached up to turn on the tap. I scooped a mouthful of water, slipped the pill into my mouth, and swallowed, falling to one knee as it went down.

I struggled to steady my breathing, the pill's bitter aftertaste lingering.

Better...

What a terrible way to start the morning. And it wasn't the first time, either. But today... today felt riskier, more dangerous, especially since I seemed to be alone.

Slowly, I rose to my feet and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

Of course, it wouldn't go unnoticed.

Leaning closer, I examined my face, pulling at my skin to get a clearer look. As expected, the paleness was more pronounced now.

"How does Yukinoshita still manage to want to touch this pale and cold face...?" I mumbled, my fingers brushing against my cheek.

I was going to get even paler, and the thought sent a shiver of fear through me. The idea of her seeing me like this, weak and fragile, filled me with a sense of dread.

I stared at myself for what felt like an eternity, the quickening beat of my heart a grim reminder of the clock that was steadily winding down.

"That's not true, Hikigaya-kun. I can see it in your eyes." Her voice suddenly echoed throughout my mind, sounding so clear to me that it felt as if her ghost was here, whispering in my ear to remind me of their weight.

I shook my head, trying to stop my thoughts of her from filling my mind. But no matter how strong my will was, something within me refused to let her fade away, not at this moment.

"The truth is..."

Stop that.

Why can't I control what's going on in my mind?

No one knows me better than I know myself. I understand how I feel, what I think, and how I perceive my situation. Then why...

Why does it feel like she just illuminated a dark corner of my mind that I've been refusing to acknowledge for so long?

"You haven't fully accepted it either."

My fists clenched, my breath returning into its uneasy rhythm. I closed my eyes tightly, my hands reaching to press against each sides of my head as if to try to somehow stop these voices in my mind.

Is this disease making me crazy? Or was I always that crazy?

Earlier, I thought the rapid beating of my heart was just a symptom of my illness or lingering regret from my argument with Yukino. But now... the deeper I dig into this, the clearer it becomes that the cause of this relentless rhythm isn't just that.

When I look at my reflection, my chest constricts painfully. When my eyes fall on the blood I coughed up earlier, my pupils shake, and my breathing falters, losing all semblance of calm.

I know it.

This feeling was so familiar, yet I took a while to recognize it today...

Was this... Fear?


I spent the whole day bedridden, my body sinking deeper into the mattress with each passing hour. Breakfast came and went untouched. Lunch, too.

Yes, I know this isn't good. But every time I tried to get up, my body refused, dragging me back down with a weight I couldn't fight. I knew I should eat—I told myself I'd do it later.

My hand rested on my forehead, the heat radiating from my skin unmistakable. A fever. Because, of course, my heart tormenting me wasn't enough.

I hate this. I hate my current condition so much.

Just as I closed my eyes again, trying to retreat into a restless sleep, the door to my room flew open.

"Onii-chan!"

Komachi's voice pierced through my foggy thoughts, sharp and indignant. I opened my eyes, just enough to see her standing there with her hands on her hips, a scowl on her face.

"Seriously? You haven't touched the meal I made for you! Not even a single bite!"

She stomped into the room, her frustration barely contained. Her eyes narrowed with a mix of anger and concern.

I tried to sit up, but the effort felt like climbing a mountain.

"Komachi... I'm sorry. I just... I couldn't."

My voice was hoarse, weak. Even to me, it sounded pitiful.

Her expression softened, but only slightly. She marched over to the bed and knelt beside me, her eyes searching my face. Her fingers brushed my forehead, and I saw her flinch at the heat.

"You're burning up, Onii-chan... Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you call?"

I sighed, my gaze falling to the ceiling as no answer came out.

Her eyes shimmered with frustration. "Anyway, too late for that! How am I not supposed to worry when you're like this? You need to eat!"

I tried to smile, but it faltered. "I will. Just... give me a bit more time."

Komachi's lips pressed into a thin line, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She wasn't just mad—she was scared.

"You took your pills at least?"

"Yes I did."

She sighed in relief, picking up a handkerchief from my desk and gently wiping away the thin sheen of sweat that had gathered on my brow.

"What happened to you suddenly? Is it related to a symptom of the disease?"

"I don't know, maybe it's just bad luck."

Her hand clenched at the material, a frowning showing on her face.

"Bad luck, huh..." She pulled the handkerchief away and put her hand back on my face. "Sometimes, you do things I can't understand, and that's worrying me, you know."

"..."

I hesitated to ask her if she'd seen me with Yukinoshita last night, I knew this might be related to my fever and painful state right now.

I looked up at Komachi's face, her eyes were struggling to stay composed as she observed my current condition.

"Did something happen with Yukino-san?"

"You saw us..?"

She looked away and nodded slowly.

"Even though I couldn't hear much, the emotions expressed on your faces were clear enough for me to have a good idea of the matter at hand."

We both ended up in tears, clinging tightly to each other. The thought that my sister—and maybe even the others—had witnessed what was supposed to be a private moment between us sent a wave of embarrassment through me. But it quickly faded. This moment was too raw, too real to be clouded by shame.

In that shared vulnerability with Komachi, I knew there was no point in trying to dodge her questions or lie. The truth was unavoidable now.

"Honestly, I don't want to dig too deeply into it. I'm gonna keep my own assumptions for myself. I don't think Onii-chan is in his best form to tell me about relationship issues..." Komachi stroked my hair gently.

I stared at her, surprised that for once she wouldn't let her curiosity take the best of her.

"Thank you."

"But, please, don't forget to eat, okay? I will bring your meal here, wait a second." She then got up and left the bedroom.

I was once again, left alone in my bed. My eyes slowly closed shut as I patiently waited for my sister to come back with a meal. That was crazy how a big part of me just wanted to feel Yukinoshita's presence right next to me suddenly.

I glanced at my right arm, imagining her body enveloped in it and snuggling against me.

But I quickly came back to reality.

It's only in my imagination that I can see that. Even in my own dreams, I wouldn't be allowed to have a pleasant moment with her, all they're filled with are pessimistic realities and scenarios happening.

Though, maybe I only see that in my dreams because my own mind right now is mostly filled with pessimism?

A few hours after I had eaten my meal, I reached to turn the lights off and returned to my sleep. My fever was still here despite having taken medicine.

Komachi mentioned earlier that she would call Yukinoshita for me, but I stopped her. I wanted to hear her voice, and see her face in facetime. But I did not want to worry her and make her even more sad than I already did. Seeing a so beautiful face filled with sorrow and worry didn't sound so enjoyable.

My eyes squeezed shut as I slipped swiftly into unconsciousness, sinking deeper and deeper until I hovered on the fragile line between dreams and reality. I didn't want to cross it—I knew that on the other side, nothing bright or comforting would be waiting for me.

So, instead of following the same worn path I always took, I veered away. This time, I chose to go somewhere different.

Where?

I don't know.

I just don't want to bear another painful dream anymore. I'm tired of being a ghost, of being an observer watching my happiness being taken away from me.

Futures where I'm not there...

I didn't need another reminder of what it would be.

I continued to walk aimlessly into the darkness of this world. My step on the ground resonating as if I was stepping onto small puddles. The noises being the only thing that filled my sense, and, as I walked further the noises somewhat increased.

I might be in another dream, and sometimes things don't make sense. I'm all alone here, yet it feels as though someone else was walking.

Now that I think about it, I just realized I was aware in my sleep, am I having what they call 'lucid dream'? Most likely. I've heard quite a lot of things about them, so maybe, I might for once change what happens here.

I speeded up, feeling more impatient to see a warmer and more comforting world than the reality I was always forced to live in. Even if it's for a small moment, I want to feel... Truly happy and freed from the unbearable weights on my shoulders.

step

step

step

step

Where am I heading?

This is not what I wanted to see. There is no warmth, no vision, no false happiness here. Only void. The brume prevented me from seeing anything, forcing me to walk forward without knowing what was ahead.

And those steps... They didn't sound normal at all. I wasn't even sure if they were all mine. But my vision was too obscured to see anything other than that brume all around me.

I suddenly stopped. If these noises kept coming, it would mean that I wasn't alone.

...step

Right after another sound of a step—one that shouldn't have been there—reached my ears, a cold breeze brushed against the back of my neck, sending an intense shiver down my spine. No, it wasn't just my spine—I could feel my entire body trembling, as if what was happening was something far beyond my understanding.

A feeling of unease and dread overwhelmed me. Instinctively, I would have picked up my pace and run, however, my body was completely frozen in place, as if what was awaiting me was something I couldn't escape no matter what.

Wait... If there might be a presence near me... Maybe it's...

"Yukino..?" I called out, I've been seeking for her presence so logically since I'm aware in my dream, I should see her at some point, shouldn't I?

The breeze intensified, its coldness envelopping me even more than before and then...

"There is no Yukino."

My eyes widened, a deep, horrific and inhuman voice came out from behind me, exactly from where the source of the unknown steps were coming.

My entire being shivered, I've never felt this much fear before.

What if I turned around?

Would I face it?

For strange reasons, my instincts were yelling at me not to face it, they were only urging me to do one thing.

Run.

With all the strengh I could find, I ran. Without trying to figure out what was going on, I prefered to listen what my instincts were telling me to. So, I ran away as fast as I could.

My chest constricted, and my breath grew unsteady.

"Why are you running?"

The same frightening voice reached me, it seemed a bit further than before, likely meaning that I managed to put on some distance between us.

I didn't want to see what it was, because deep down... I had it already figured out. I didn't want to accept to see it, but I know that if I look behind I will only confirm my assumption.

"You've said it,"

I coughed, struggling to catch my breath but I kept using all I had to escape it. The brume faded slightly, leaving the sight of a forest of grey and dead trees. But it was the only thing in front of me so without thinking, I went into it.

"You accepted it."

But no matter how deeply I sunk into this forest, the voice was still audible.

"Then why..."

No...

I suddenly stumbled, a breathless groan escaping my lips as I fell onto the dirty ground. With trembling members, I tried to get myself up but as soon as I lifted my head, another cold, chilling breeze caressed my neck.

"...Are you running?"

Leave me alone...

This isn't supposed to be the moment...

Gradually, a faint flicker of light appeared in my field of view. It seemed to be coming from outside of the forest. It was the only source of light I've seen since I am here.

And maybe, my only source of warmth.

With a desperate pace, I restarted to run, not aimlessly, this time I had a destination to reach. I ran as fast as I could to get out of the forest before it caught up with me.

My breath was heavy and ragged, sweats flowing and damping my brow but I didn't care. I wanted to reach that light.

I finally left the forest, the source of the light now clearer to my eyes.

There it was, a hand. The palm of a very familiar hand waiting for something to reach—grasp it. Earlier, my instincts were ordering me to run away, but now, they are telling me that it was what I needed.

I walked forward, approaching the illuminated hand in this dark and empty world.

I approached again, and again.

What..?

Something's abnormal.

No matter how much I tried to close the gap, it only seemed to stretch further away.

Why was it moving away?

"It isn't moving away..."

My heart skipped a beat, I knew it... It'd follow me out of the forest as well...

I accelerated again, I knew that if I don't reach that hand,itwould get me, and if it got me, I would...

I don't wanna think about it.

"Don't move.. I'm coming... Please wait..." I pleaded the hand.

I sounded ridiculously pitiful at this moment, but my will desired only one thing.

"Fuck, why does it keep moving away?"

My voice sounded more desperate and frustrated. The steps behind me continued to grow louder and closer.

"This hand isn't moving away, it's being pushed away."

Impossible...

"Pushed away by you, Hachiman."

I abruptly stumbled again, landing on the same dirty and soaked ground. I couldn't stop, I needed to move.

But my legs felt frozen, locked in chains.

I lifted my head, the hand only a few meters away now.

A wave of codlness and dread washed over me, each steps I heard behind me resonated more and more into my ears.

"Look up."

The breeze carried a chill so sharp it sliced through my skin, biting into my very core. I was paralyzed, every instinct screaming at me to look away, to run, to do anything but obey. But my body betrayed me—my head turned slowly, trembling, as though the very air around me had grown heavy with malevolent intent.

"Face your fate, and assume your words."

And there it was.

The figure loomed like a void against the desolate, ashen backdrop. Its robes, blacker than the deepest shadows, fluttered as though alive. The fabric clung to it unnaturally, almost as if it were an extension of the being itself, pulsing faintly as though with a heartbeat. Its skeletal hands gripped the handle of a massive, weathered scythe—its blade curved and jagged, exuding an aura of finality that made my chest tighten.

But it was the face—or lack thereof—that froze my breath in my throat. Beneath the hood was a void, a yawning abyss darker than the night. No eyes, no mouth—just an unrelenting emptiness that seemed to see everything, that knew everything

My body shook violently, my teeth chattering as cold sweat poured down my back. Every step it had taken now echoed in my ears like a drumbeat of doom.

The scythe it carried scraped the ground lightly as it moved, producing a sound that seemed to slice through my thoughts and send tremors up my spine.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had accepted that truth. I had even told myself I was ready to face it. But now, as I stared at the embodiment of death itself, I realized how wrong I had been. I wasn't ready. Not even close.

A knot of pure terror coiled in my stomach as its faceless void seemed to bore into me. My knees buckled, my strength deserting me entirely.

The reaper raised its scythe slightly, its movement deliberate, slow, as though savoring the inevitability of the moment.

I couldn't take my eyes off it. I wanted to scream, to fight, to do anything—but my voice was gone, swallowed by the suffocating presence that surrounded me.

It spoke again, though its words didn't reach my ears—they bypassed sound altogether, resonating directly in my mind like a cold, merciless whisper.

"You've run, and pretended long enough."

The finality of those words crushed what little resolve I had left. My heart pounded furiously, each beat echoing painfully. I reached to clunch at the fabric covering my chest, the pain more torturing than ever in that moment.

It hurt...

It hurt so much that even my own tears couldn't bear the ache.

It's over... It got me...

"Hachiman..."

The source of light behind me brightened even more intensely. I looked at it, remembering that there was.. something—or someone waiting for me to reach for them...

I crawled desperately, praying with all my might that it would not move any further away from me.

I got closer, and closer.

When I was only inches from it, my breath hitched as I recognized it immediately. That hand—it was unmistakable. The slender fingers, the gentle curve of the wrist—everything about it radiated familiarity and comfort. It was her hand. Yukinoshita's hand.

The light wrapped around her like a protective aura, pushing back the encroaching darkness, if only slightly. Her hand remained steady, outstretched toward me, waiting—waiting for me to take it.

My gaze flickered between her hand and the reaper, who hadn't moved but seemed to grow more imposing, as though angered by this sudden intrusion. The void beneath its hood deepened, and the scythe tilted slightly, a silent warning.

But her hand... it was right there.

I could feel my body tremble as my instincts warred within me. The reaper's presence demanded submission, an acceptance of inevitability. But her hand—her light—offered hope.

Tears stung my eyes, blurring my vision. My chest felt like it would burst from the conflicting emotions tearing through me—fear, desperation, longing. The weight pressing down on me made every movement agonizingly difficult, but somehow, I found the strength to extend my arm toward hers.

My fingers quivered as they reached out, inching closer to hers. The warmth emanating from her hand grew stronger the nearer I got.

And then, with one final effort, my hand clasped hers.

The light erupted, a blinding radiance that tore through the shadows like a tidal wave.

...

...

"Yukino!"

I jolted awake, my body springing up from the mattress as if I had been yanked out of a deep abyss. My chest heaved violently, every breath feeling like it scraped against the raw walls of my lungs.

Sweat drenched my skin, clinging to my face and neck, soaking through my shirt. My heart hammered against my ribs, each beat like a deafening drum that I couldn't escape. I clutched my chest, fingers digging into the fabric as if trying to physically hold the pain at bay.

"What... what the hell...?" I whispered hoarsely, my voice trembling.

I ran a shaky hand through my damp hair, my fingers trembling so much I could barely complete the motion. My breath hitched as the pain in my chest flared up again, sharper this time, like my heart was being crushed under an invisible weight.

The time on my alarm clock was showing 6:02am.

I got up from the bed, stauntering toward my desk and grabbing the pills from the drawer. I then hurried to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

Did I just...

What happened..?

What was that...

A nightmare..? Or... a warning..?

I twisted the faucet on, and filled my mouth with water. In a quick move, I downed the pill together with the water. Following up, I splashed a few handfuls of water onto my face, the cool, refreshing liquid attempting to rouse me.

The moment I decided not to step on that line that would get me to dreams, I accidently stepped toward another area I feel like I shouldn't have gotten. It was terrifying, filled with coldness and despair.

Much worse than the dreams I've been complaining about.

I still couldn't explain what happened, but I hope I will forget about it.

Though, during that horrifying experience, I realized the truth I've been denying, I realized how much I lied to myself all this time. Yukinoshita was right, she understood me better than I understood myself.

"I'm truly an..."

Looking up at my reflection in the mirror, my breath caught in my throat as my eyes widened in horror. A cold shiver ran down my spine, sharp and unrelenting, as my gaze locked onto the corner of the mirror—there, standing just beyond the edge of the room, was a figure cloaked in black.

It's impossible...

It was just a nightmare... It couldn't follow me here...

My knees felt weak, my grip on the sink tightening as if it were the only thing keeping me upright. I couldn't look away, couldn't move. The reflection felt too vivid, too real.

My jaw quivered, and I felt my chest tighten as my heart started to pound wildly, each beat painful, erratic. My vision blurred as fear took hold of me completely, rooting me in place.

"No..." I croaked, barely audible.

"Don't take me..."

My voice sounded so pitiful. I sounded like a cornered animal, pleading for its life. I was.

"Please not now..."

The figure moved, its hood shifting ever so slightly, and that small motion sent a jolt through me, snapping me out of my paralysis.

My hand shot out, grasping the toothbrush holder on the sink. Without thinking, without hesitating, I spun around and hurled it with all the strength I could muster.

"Don't take me!" I screamed, my voice cracking in panic.

*Crash!*

The toothbrush holder smashed against the wall, clattering to the floor along with its contents. The noise echoed in the empty bathroom, louder than it had any right to be.

My eyes scanned every corner of the room. But there was nothing. No dark figure. No suffocating presence. Only silence and the faint hum of the bathroom light.

My trembling hand fell to my side as my breathing refused to slow. I swallowed hard, my throat dry as sandpaper.

"Was... was I hallucinating?" I muttered under my breath, barely trusting my own voice.

I turned back toward the mirror, hesitating before daring to look at my reflection again. My pale, sweat-drenched face stared back at me, eyes wide and bloodshot. There was no shadow in the corner, no sign of what I had seen—or thought I had seen.

But the fear wouldn't leave me. Even as the rational part of my mind tried to dismiss it, I couldn't shake the feeling that it was still there, watching, waiting... somewhere close.

I couldn't take it anymore, I fell on my knees on to the ground, multiples sobs escapind my mouth and echoing through the room.

Then my tears flew a torrent, I thought back about the nightmare and the fear that was hanting me relentlessly. I didn't bother wiping my tears away, because I knew there was nothing I could do, not by myself.

So, I cried vividly. I didn't care if I woke anyone up at this moment, I just wanted to let my emotions out.

I'm hurting, as much physically as mentally.

I'm so... done.

Why?

Why does it have to happen to me?

Why this damn disease had to exist?

I cried uncontrollably, I was so embarassed and ashamed of how I was acting right now, but I couldn't help it. I needed to embrace it all, to accept how I truly feel.

And I'm... so scared of dying.

I don't wanna die... Mom I don't wanna rest forever...

Dad, Komachi... Yukinoshita...

I don't wanna leave you all...

I clunched at my chest tightly, my sobs coming out endlessly.

I fucked up a lot of time in my life, and I couldn't live long enough to make up for it.

Death is scary, leaving forever sounds so...

*Creak!*

The door suddenly opened wide, my mother standing behind it. A worried expression filled her face. Her breath was slightly ragged as if she'd been running to be here.

"Hachiman... God.. Come here sweetie. I'm here..." She approached me, and wrapped her arms around me, patting my back soothingly. It reminded me of the old way she hugged me when I was a child, it almost made me feel nostalgic.

I cried against her, I could tell I was not recognizable at all in this moment. It wasn't me, it was the little ill kid who was scared of losing his own life.

"I don't wanna die... Mom..."

"Shhh... You're not dying."

"My heart hurts so much, I can't bear it."

"I know. I know how much you're hurting. And it pains me to the core to see you suffer like this, my lovely little boy. It's okay, I'm here for you, now and always."

It's been so long since I last heard my mother speak in such a soothing and shaky tone. Her words felt like a glimmer of warmth entering my ears.

"Don't hold back, let it all out."

"Mom... It's so hard..."

"I know, but that's what make me so proud of you. You fight and struggle against something that surpasses you completely. But you're not giving up. You're strong, Hachiman."

More tears fell and stained her shirt, I buried my head on her shoulder, catching a glimpse of Komachi's silhouette standing by the door, on the edge of tears as she watched us.

"Please help... I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die... I don't wanna die..." I repeated shakily.

"Everything will be alright. You're loved by many people, and each of us will help you," she reassured, one hand patting my back and another stroking my hair softly.

I continued to cry and let my mother's presence bring some warmth onto me. That was what I needed, a presence, a warmth to reassure me. To make sure I wasn't alone.

Now, I realized that I had to do it, I needed to go tell them, or else, a future I don't want to live is going to happen.

I needed help, and there was someone who'd been waiting for me to accept hers for too long already.

That is my last will.


Today was our last day of school as a high school sophomore.

And without surprise, Hikigaya-kun did not come.

I sat in the clubroom next to Yuigahama-san, focus on my book. The ambiance was calm yet oddly dull. Silence filled the air, envelopping us in a lonely atmosphere. We weren't alone, but we felt so.

It was as if we both missed something, or someone.

Usually, during last day of club activities, clubs organize events or special things. But that wasn't the case for the Service Club. Nothing was organized, we didn't have as much fun as other clubs.

We simply hoped that he would come, and just his presence would be good enough.

But it's been almost a hour, and there is no sign of him. Hiratsuka-sensei said that he was unlikely to come today, and she confirmed officially that he would stop school definitely.

You heard it right, Hachiman Hikigaya is no longer a high school student of Sobu High.

The memory of my last conversation with him lingered in my mind for the past few days. The way his tears fell on my hair and scarf, the strength of his arms around me, and the regret in his eyes—I remember it all with great clarity.

I've never shown such a vulnerable state of myself to anyone before, and showing it to him felt so...

I don't quite know how to describe it.

"Hey, Yukinon, why don't we just... end it now?" Yuigahama-san spoke up.

"I don't know..." I glanced at the vacant chair next to me.

"If there's nothing to do, we shouldn't force ourself here. It's kinda... You know, lonely and all."

"I understand how you feel, but..." I paused, glancing at the clock on the wall. "Today is the last day Hach— Hikigaya-kun might come, so... I just want to let him the chance."

Yuigahama-san nodded understandingly, resting her chin on her palm.

"I see. Then, let's wait together until the end of the day."

I smiled wearily at her, happy that she wouldn't leave me alone.

Click...

A sudden noise drew our attention, the metallic click of the clubroom door handle being jostled. Someone was behind it, attempting to pull it open. The handle shifted, and then, slowly, the door began to creak ajar.

We both froze, anticipation tightening the air around us. My heart quickened, every beat a flicker of hope. Could it be him?

The door swung open, and someone stepped inside.

It was none other than Hikigaya-kun.

"Hikki..." Yuigahama-san muttered his name, her eyes widening slowly.

I stayed silent, watching him walk up to his chair and grab it. He then walked around the table and placed his chair to sit down in front of us. I know when he does this... Something was on his mind.

Might it be..?

"Good afternoon," he greeted.

"Yahallo..."

"...Good afternoon."

As I could have a closer look at his face, I noticed that his eyes were different. They were filled with a mix of pain, sorrow and despair. He didn't look like the Hikigaya-kun I used to see every day.

"I'm really happy you came, Hikki. We waited for you."

"I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't originally plan to come in the first place, however, I believe now that... It was necessary." He took a deep breath, his eyes darting between me and Yuigahama-san. "I have a request."

My heart skipped a beat at his words, my lips trembling.

Maybe, just maybe what I had been waiting for so long is finally going to happen just here. I might finally hear him say what I've always wanted to hear.

Did our last conversation have its desired effects?

"Tell us more about it," I said.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"My heart have been torturing me non-stop yesterday."

"..."

"..."

"Even today, I've been hurting so much, the pain has become unbearable." He moved his hand to his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt. "Even now, it hurts."

His words made my heart ache. But I stayed silent, not wanting to perturb him.

"I had a nightmare, unlike anything else I've experienced before. You might find me crazy for saying this, but in that nightmare, I felt thetruefear of death."

His final words sent a shiver down my spine. His gaze was sharper and more serious than I had ever seen, carrying a weight that unsettled me. Whatever he experienced in that dream, it had shaken him to his core. I couldn't even begin to imagine the horrors he must have faced.

He told me once that all his dreams were filled with futures where he wasn't here... Thinking about it now, about him enduring something even worse last night, made my chest tighten.

"T-True fear of death? What do you mean, Hikki?"

He lowered his eyes to the table, his hands clenched into fists. It looked like he was searching for the right words, or perhaps the courage to even say them.

"I've never felt so scared for my life as I did last night in that particular nightmare, Yuigahama," he said, almost as if confessing a forbidden truth. "I don't want to get into the details... but to sum it up..." He exhaled shakily, his fingers trembling ever so slightly.

"It was like death itself was chasing me."

I froze, my throat tightening as he continued.

"And the worst part? I was running away from it. I always thought I had accepted it, but..." He looked at me. "I'm sorry, Yukinoshita, for... For having lied to you once more that night. The truth is, I... I never accepted it."

His eyes shook, he tried to keep eye contact with me, but he struggled. He was struggling to keep his composure, as if the memory of that nightmare reopened a vulnerable side of him.

For the first time in a while, I didn't blame him for a lie. I wasn't angry at all, I know lying is wrong, but this time, I felt reassured.

"It's okay, Hikigaya-kun..." I managed to say, my tone betraying my emotional state.

Go on, there's still one thing you have left to say.

He suddenly stood up.

"I feel like I'll owe you forever if I ask this," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'm so hopeless right now... This is all I could come up with."

His fists trembled, his expression crumbling as tears threatened to fall. Seeing him like this—so vulnerable—sent a sharp ache through my chest. He was struggling to say what he truly wanted, and the weight of his emotions made my chest tighten.

My own eyes began to sting with unshed tears.

"I've been so stubborn. For weeks, I've been spouting stupid bullshit about 'accepting' a short fate, acting like I'm some kind of warrior from a manga or something." A bitter chuckle escaped him, but it was devoid of humor, tinged with self-loathing instead.

"But the truth is... I'm not that at all. I'm nothing like that. I'm just..." His voice faltered, his fists clenching tighter. "I'm just a scared, hopeless kid. That's all I am..."

Hearing him finally admit the fear and pain he'd been burying so deeply shattered something inside me. He wasn't invincible, nor was he resigned to his fate like he pretended to be. He was human—terrified, vulnerable, and in desperate need of something to hold on to.

"Hikigaya-kun..."

He looked at me, a quiet sob leaving his mouth as he still tried to hold back his tears.

"Say it, please... You have a desire, don't you?"

"You're right..."

Yuigahama-san discreetly inched closer to me, holding onto my sleeve as we stared at him. He reached to grasp his shirt, his eyes fixing onto ours.

Then, his mouth parted, as his tears seemed too strong to be contained anymore. They streamed down his face, like relentless torrent.

"I..."

Yes...

"I wanna..."

Say it, Hikigaya-kun. Say what you truly desire.

He sobbed, and then suddenly filled by an urge of determination, he finally spoke.

"I wanna live...!"

Our eyes went wide, as nor me and Yuigahama-san were able to hold back our own tears. My mouth parted, almost curving into a sad smile.

Finally, Hikigaya-kun...

"I want to have a long life like everyone else, I wanna graduate like you, go in university and then eventually get a job. I would get married, and then complain to my wife about how much of a hell working in society is. I wanna create a family, and be... Happy..."

My heart skipped a beat, it wasn't a painful twinge this time, no—It was something else entirely. An overwhelming mix of emotions washed over me as I listened to him. I took in everything he wanted to do in his life... And I knew that I would be a lot involved with it...

"So that's why, I'm asking you this. Please, save me." He bowed to us, his eyes squeezing shut as a few drop of tears accidently landed on the table.

"H-Hikki..." Yuigahama-san's gaze darted between Hikigaya-kun and me, then she said: "Yukinon..." she sobbed, "Shall we... accept this request?"

I met her gaze, her tear-streaked face mirroring my own, and with a nod, I answered, "The answer is obvious. As the president of the Service Club, it's my responsibility to do everything in my power to help anyone who seeks it." My eyes shifted back to Hikigaya-kun as he leaned back.

"Thank you... truly. I-I know I'll never be able to repay you fairly, but—"

Before he could finish, Yuigahama-san suddenly moved, stepping around the table and throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace.

"Took you long enough, idiot..." she whispered, her voice thick with emotion, her tears soaking into his shoulder.

Hikigaya-kun blinked in surprise, then let out a weak chuckle. "I... Yeah. Looks like my rotten brain's finally deteriorated that far." His eyes met mine briefly, a silent acknowledgment passing between us.

I approached them quietly and, without hesitation, joined in the embrace. My arms wrapped around them both, and a moment later, his arms instinctively encircled us in return, holding us with surprising tenderness.

We stayed like this, the three of us wrapped together in a shared warmth that soothed the ache in our hearts. For the first time in what felt like forever, the heaviness lifted, if only slightly, and this fragile, fleeting moment felt... comforting. Healing. Perfect in its imperfection.

We stayed entwined, tears falling freely, unbothered by the silence that enveloped the clubroom. The muffled sounds of laughter and celebration echoed faintly from the halls, a distant reminder of a world we weren't part of in this moment.

The only sounds between us were our quiet sobs and shaky breaths, a raw expression of the pain, relief, and unspoken emotions that had been festering for so long.

Yuigahama-san's grip on Hikigaya-kun tightened slightly as if she feared letting go would shatter whatever fragile bond was holding us together. I rested my head lightly against his shoulder, my tears dampening the fabric of his shirt.

The warmth of his presence and hers intertwined, creating a cocoon that shielded us from everything outside. Here, we weren't Service Club members, or classmates, or whatever titles others might give us—we were simply three people desperately holding onto one another, trying to piece ourselves back together in the only way we knew how.

Time seemed to stretch, the minutes blending into one another until the distant echoes of celebration faded entirely.

None of us spoke. None of us needed to. In the stillness of the clubroom, our tears and the warmth of each other's embrace spoke louder than any words could.

And I hoped for this moment to last until the end of the day.