"Welcome home, darling. How was your day?" She walked up to him, assisting in removing his coat before hanging it in its usual place.
"Tiring, as usual. I always knew working was a h-"
"Language. The kids might hear you and repeat what you say outside." She glared at him, her cold gaze sending a shiver down his spine as he immediately surrendered.
"...Got it."
But her gaze was quickly replaced by a more gentle and loving one. Although she didn't like seeing her husband getting too careless at home, she knew that he was simply coming back from a long and exhausting day.
She wrapped her arms around him, drawing him into a gentle, comforting embrace. He responded by wrapping his arms around her in kind, reciprocating the gesture, and holding her close.
"Are you hungry?"
"Quite."
"The dinner is ready, I was waiting for you." She offered a soft smile, slowly letting go of him as she led the way to the living room, where his plate and glass were already served on the table.
The silence enveloped them as they ate together, but it wasn't an uncomfortable quietness that comes when two people can't think of what to say to each other. Instead, the silence was peaceful, comfortable even, as they simply appreciated each other's presence, finding joy in the simplicity of just being together.
I watched them quietly from the corner, my eyes filled with envy. I silently moved around, taking in different perspectives of the scene unfolding before me. It was as if I was a spectating ghost, able to observe the world without anyone noticing my presence.
I also wondered, who was this man?
"Ahh, I'm done. It was delicious as always," he expressed, I couldn't see his face clearly, so let's just say it sounded like he liked what his wife had prepared for him.
Wait, did I call her-
"I'm happy to see that you enjoyed it. Shall we get some sleep now, H!8ù?"
"After all the suffering I've been through today, I can't wait to go to bed!" He got up, stretching his arms.
She chuckled and followed him into their bedroom.
"I suppose so, Mr.I'm suffering all the time," she ribbed him.
"No, really, if you saw what my boss puts me through every day!" The faceless man continued to complain about his job after he'd entered the bedroom, his hand reaching to remove his necktie.
"I think I have my own idea. A real nightmare, huh?" She teased, walking over to her desk and rifling through the drawers in search of her comb.
As she took the brush in her hand, she positioned herself in front of the mirror, beginning to carefully tend to her flowing black hair. Every movement was graceful and meticulous, and I couldn't tear my gaze away from her, captivated by her beauty. This woman had an effect on me that no one else had, her beauty was completely something else.
Whenever I looked at her, I was fascinated, stunned as if I was admiring a treasure of Mother nature.
Unfortunately, I don't seem to be able to tell her how I feel.
When she finished, she opened the drawer and pulled her comb back into it, but her fingers brushed against a piece of paper.
Confusion filled her face as she doesn't usually use this drawer to put paperwork inside it, there were only her personal stuff. Things that belonged to her only.
She grabbed it, and brought it closer to her face, taking a closer look at the image on the paper.
From where I stood, I could see on the image a girl, who seemed to be a high school girl.
I couldn't help but think...yes, it was unmistakably her younger self from her high school days. In fact, I was certain of it. It was the girl I recognized, unchanged by time or circumstance.
The girl in the picture was holding on to the arm of a young boy, a boy who looked about her age at that moment. He had an ahoge on his black hair and very unique-looking eyes.
The girl smiled widely into the camera, her expression radiating joy. The boy, in contrast, appeared a bit flustered. His gaze was fixed on her, as if she had suddenly grabbed his arm while taking the selfie with her phone, catching him off guard. Perhaps, it is how it happened.
I observed something unusual in her gaze as she looked at the picture. A hint of nostalgia and emotion tugged at her expression, her lips quivering slightly. It was as if she was struggling to contain a smile, her eyes lost in memories triggered by the old photograph.
Her eyes remained focused on the boy's face in the picture, her slender finger gently tracing the surface of the paper where his face was visible.
At the same time, my hand moved on its own to rest on my cheek.
"Hey Y!#1, are you coming?" Her husband's voice snapped her out of her trance, as she was brought back to reality.
No...
"Oh, yes, I'm here in one second." Her gaze slowly turned away from the paper.
This is not reality...
She threw the paper away, as if it was an old memory she was supposed to forget a long time ago.
Don't let me go...
"Let's cuddle for the whole night."
Don't go to his arms... You don't belong to him...
She smiled warmly as he gently tugged her down onto the bed, his face inching closer to hers. He leaned in slowly, closing the gap between them until their faces were only millimeters apart.
Ah, I see...
I am simply an observer, after all. I became one a long time ago. That was my destiny. And now, I was watching hers.
I was always supposed to become nothing more than a distant memory, unworthy of being remembered. I had always known that I was not meant to occupy a significant place in someone's life
I was merely an old fool, holding onto a hopeless dream...
"Hikigaya-kun..."
What's happening? The room is getting all dark.
...I don't mind it. I didn't want to stay here anymore. I think that I've seen enough.
"Hikigaya-kun."
I really... don't like this reality, I don't know who's taking me from this world, but I should thank them.
"Wake up."
I get it, that was not reality, not yet.
Great, I thought I would have to watch this forever...
Now, I want to come back to the actual reality.
"Hikigaya-kun!"
Yukinoshita's voice called out suddenly, jarring me awake and causing me to sit up in surprise.
"Ah, finally. You always sleep that long?"
I rubbed my eyes, briefly adjusting to the light as I took a moment to focus on her. She sat beside me, her beautiful face and flowing hair making her look even more stunning than usual.
A cute girl just woke me up.
"Yukinoshita..? What time is it?" I asked, scratching my hair and yawning again.
"9:56am."
"Doesn't sound so late to me."
"Of course..." She sighed and rubbed her temple.
As I finally retrieved most of my mind, I remembered everything that had happened last night. How I went to her apartment, how I confessed to her, and how we ended up sleeping together here.
It felt like a dream, but it wasn't.
Speaking of dreams, I have the feeling that I made a really strange one, but I don't remember it anymore. Seeing Yukinoshita's stunning face has completely taken my mind off the dream entirely, as her cuteness has consumed all of my attention.
"Yukinoshita..."
"Yes..?"
"How come you're so pretty in mornings? I wanna hug you, like right now." Without letting her the time to process my words, I wrapped my arms around her.
"H-Hey Hikigaya-kun! Not by surprise..." Yukinoshita exclaimed, her face turning a deep shade of pink with embarrassment.
But it wasn't very long before her arms envelop me as well.
"Morning."
"Good morning, Hikigaya-kun..." she whispered in my ear.
"Did you sleep well?"
"I've never slept so well. What about you?"
"About same, I guess."
When we finally pulled away, I got up from the bed, looking around for my phone.
The last time I checked it was to write to Komachi about the reason for my absence at home yesterday night. I know she answered, I received many notifications coming from her when I was watching the movie with Yukinoshita.
And I thought to myself, 'I'll check that later.' But sleeping with Yukinoshita was completely unexpected, so I totally forgot to write her.
"I should call Komachi, I completely forgot yesterday. She might be worried about me since then," I said, stretching my arms.
Firstly, I had to remember where I put it the last time.
"I see. If I remember correctly, you let it on the couch."
Thanks!
"Well... I'll let you change then." I then headed out of her bedroom.
Now that I think about it, a lot of things happened in such a short amount of time.
I came to this apartment, spoke with Yukinoshita, and managed to repair our relationship. No, actually, it deepened—perhaps even reached a whole new level. What did we become that night?
I'm still not sure what to call us or how to define what we have. And I have no idea what Yukinoshita thinks about it. Maybe we should sit down and talk it through sometime, to finally make things clear.
Oh, she was right. I let my phone on the couch.
I picked it and looked at all the messages notification on the screen. Opening, the message app, I scrolled through all of my little sister's messages.
She was sure worried...
"Ain't no way you're sleeping at Yukino-san's place."
"Wait, really?"
"Hey, Onii-chan, answer me!"
"Wow, I just checked your localization..." Wait, I let it on?
"Good job, big bro!"
"Just make sure to write me, so I know you're alright."
She wrote again around two hours later...
"Hey, you okay?"
"Onii-chan, answer me! I know you must be having fun there, but your adorable little sister needs you to give signs of life..."
"If you don't answer me, I will start to worry."
"Unless you're actually doing intimate stuff with Yukino-san..."
"It must be it!"
"I'll stop bothering you, be careful, Onii-chan!"
She does not sound that worried, I guess...
But she's imagining the wrong things. I wasn't... I mean, we kinda got intimate, but it wasn't that intimate. You get what I mean, right?
Sigh.
Now I should write an answer and confirm to her that I am still alive.
"Sorry for not having answered sooner, I completely forgot. I'm fine, I spent a good moment with Yukinoshita. Nothing went wrong. Also, I won't allow you to assume that I did these kind of things with her."
A long and simple message should be enough for now. Komachi won't take very long to see it and answer.
The door opened behind me, capturing my attention as Yukinoshita stepped in. She was dressed in a soft, off-shoulder, long-sleeved sweater that fell just above her hips, revealing a sliver of her shoulders and collarbones, paired with a long, dark-colored skirt that cascaded down to her ankles.
"Are you going to go?" she asked, approaching me.
"Probably. I already used my last pills when I came here. So, I need to return home to get some."
Yukinoshita's expression was a mixture of disappointment and understanding as I revealed that I would be leaving. She looked at me quietly for a few moments, her eyes revealing a hint of melancholy, but she didn't try to argue or persuade me to stay. Instead, she simply nodded.
It couldn't be helped, and since it's for my health's sake, Yukinoshita knew that she would have to say goodbye now.
"Can we still have a breakfast together before you leave?"
I glanced at the clock.
"A quick breakfast shouldn't hurt." I accepted, smiling warmly at her.
Yukinoshita's smile quickly returned after hearing that I was about to stay a little longer.
"Sit there, I'll prepare something for you. What would you like to eat?"
"Ah, I can do it my-"
"I said sit."
"...Okay."
With no other option, I took a seat at the table while Yukinoshita headed into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for me.
I'm not really against the idea of Yukinoshita cooking for me on mornings, especially since everything that is cooked by her is always delicious, but it makes me feels like I'm being taken care of.
It's the same feeling I feel when it's Komachi cooking for me.
Have I ever minded this, though?
No, I don't think so.
After a few minutes, Yukinoshita came back with two plates. One plate held a stack of warm, golden toast, while the other plate held a selection of different types of bread. She placed one of the plates in front of me and the other in front of her own seat. Once she was seated, we sat quietly together, ready to start our meal.
It only lasted a few minutes as we ate together in a calm and peaceful ambiance. We didn't exchange so much words, but simply enjoyed each other's soothing presence.
Then, came the moment to say goodbye to each other.
"There, don't forget your bag with your uniform." Yukinoshita placed the bag next to me as I finished to put my shoes on.
"Where's my coat?"
"It was soaked, so I put it to dry. It should be ready now. Wait a second, I'll go get it for you."
I watched her walk away and come back with my coat now completely cleaned and dry.
"Thanks you for cleaning it, sincerely. You're the best." I took my coat from her hand and put it on.
I can't remember a second yesterday when I thought about hanging my coat out to dry.
"You're welcome," Yukinoshita replied, her expression softening as her lips curved into a heartwarming smile, one of those rare smiles that never failed to make my heart skip a beat.
Now that I was ready, I looked at her.
Seems like I have to say goodbye now.
A part of me really wanted to spend a little more time with her, but I knew that there were things that needed to be done. So, I parted my lips and inhaled as I was about to phrase my sentence.
But she decided to pre-empt me.
"Wait, Hikigaya-kun..."
"What?"
"Could you..." Her cheeks began to turn a crimson of pink, her eyes averting my gaze as she fumbled lightly at the fabric of her skirt.
"C-Can I have your phone number..?" She finally asked her question, looking back at me.
That's true... I don't have her number. I've got Yuigahama's, but not hers. I don't know why I never felt like asking her, though, regarding of how was our relationship back then, it made senses that we didn't ask each other's numbers even though we are clubmates.
Now I guess, we can consider ourselves close enough to exchange phone numbers.
"Sure." I pulled my phone and handed it to her.
Yukinoshita took my phone and saved my number in her contacts, then handed it back to me with a small, satisfied smile.
"Do you get my message?"
As I looked at my phone to verify, an unfamiliar notification popped.
"Be careful on your way." It was her message.
I then wrote back: "I'll try not to die."
"I got yours, did you receive mine?"
She let out a cute chuckle, her eyes glued to my message.
"Yes, I just read it."
"Alright, I'm off." I turned to the front door, pulling the handle to open it. "I liked last night, see you later..." I then took a first step outside.
"...Write me when you get home."
That was the last thing I've heard from her before I hear the sound of the door closing behind me.
The second after her warmth, voice, smile and presence left me, I felt the urge to turn back to that door and open it, saying 'I don't want to leave.'
But I can't do that, I know she'll scold me and kick me out.
I have pills to take for my health after all, and I don't want her to think I don't pay attention to my own needs.
I've already worried her enough recently.
Now, it was time to get home.
"I won't leave you alone until you tell me every single details of your night with Yukino-san!"
I knew this was going to happen.
From the moment I entered the house, there were my mother and sister waiting for me in the living room, the first thing they did was bombard me with questions.
Those two I swear... When it comes to my love's life they absolutely need to know every detail. And yet my mother had no idea that I was seeing two girls before she met them.
So, can you imagine the mess now?
My father was resting on the sofa and reading his book, pretending not to pay attention to the noises near him, but, actually he was also peeking at us every now and then.
Do you really think I haven't noticed your gaze, Dad?
So, everyone here was curious.
I managed to escape my mother, but Komachi didn't give up. She followed me to my bedroom. As she said earlier, she wouldn't leave me alone until she's satisfied.
"So, Onii-chan? I'm waiting." She leaned against the doorframe of my bedroom, crossing her arms.
"You're making too much of a fuss over it," . I replied, my tone casual and nonchalant. "It's not a big deal. We just... slept together, that's all."
My sister's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped to the floor in shock, her body seeming to lose balance for a moment. She stared at me in disbelief, as if unable to comprehend what I had just said.
What? Why being so shocked?
"Wow... So you two really did 'it'... I understand better why you weren't answering..."
Now that I think back about the way I phrased it, it isn't helping my case at all!
"N-No, I mean... Just sleeping! Not sleeping like you think."
"That's still crazy!"
Yeah, I can't deny it, though. Who would believe that a guy like me found himself sharing the same bed with a girl like Yukinoshita?
Komachi's face shifted to a more gentle expression as she approached my bed and sat down next to me.
"So, what exactly happened that led to this situation?" she asked curiously.
"You really wanna know that badly?"
"I said that I wasn't leaving you alone."
I guess I don't have the choice.
"Fine... Firstly, know that when me and Yukinoshita met at school after not seeing each other for two weeks..."
I explained how our relationship had deteriorated in the beginning, citing the fact that I had thought about leaving the club.
She didn't hold back from calling me an idiot during this part.
But I quickly told her that, thanks to Yuigahama I changed my mind and decided to come to talk to Yukinoshita directly at her place.
"You're saying that you ran all the way to Yukinoshita's place? Do you realize how crazy it was?"
Okay, now she was mad at me for doing such a stupid thing.
"What if something happened to your heart? You were extremely lucky that you hadn't fainted!"
"...Yeah, that was foolish. Luckily, everything went well, but I should have been more careful."
"You're really an idiot sometimes, Onii-chan."
I got it, Yukinoshita said the same thing.
"But it was worth it. She accepted to talk to me in the end."
"And your words charmed her heart, I suppose?" she said sarcasticly.
"Kinda."
"Huh... I didn't know Onii-chan was a smooth talker."
Why do I have the feeling that she's making fun of me?
"After our reconciliation, she wanted me to stay over. She said she wouldn't let me go out with all the rain outside."
Komachi leaned in closer to me, the smirk on her face growing into a wicked grin. She spoke in a teasing tone, "And let me guess, you accepted like a good boy, didn't you?"
"Not like I really had the choice, though..."
"Actually, I'm glad she did so. Giving how bad the weather was, I would have been worried if you really had gone outside in your current condition."
I'm grateful to her for that one too, I really abused my body to go to her place, having to walk to a nearby monorail station through such an intense rain would have cost me some effort. And I'm not sure I would have managed it.
Something suddenly crossed my mind, I remembered that Yukinoshita told me to write her once I get home. And I still haven't done it.
"I completely forgot to write her that I am home," I said, grabbing my phone.
"You've got her number? You two are really close now, huh..."
I don't know why, but her words provoked my cheeks to heat up slightly.
I mean, she's right. We certainly got very close since then. But, how close?
"I've been wondering, Onii-chan. Are you two dating now?" Komachi abruptly asked.
She thought about the same thing.
"...That's a good question."
"What do you mean? That's normally the kind of thing you must know."
"To be honest, I'm not entirely certain about Yukinoshita's thoughts regarding our relationship. So, I don't want to make any assumptions without knowing for certain if she's on the same page as me."
"Didn't you talk about it with her during the night? I mean, you literally shared a bed. That's not what two friends of the opposite sex would normally do. Especially not you."
From the moment she took my hand to pull me into her apartment, everything went along naturally. We acted in a particular way with each other but never did we really question it.
We simply were like 'Okay, let's do that.' and since none of us was against it...
"Activities like holding hands, embracing, and cuddling are definitely things that couples do. I'm not sure if Yukinoshita realizes how much our relationship has changed, but I believe our relationship has evolved into something more intimate."
"Oh, you two've always been so complicated. I'm sure that if you wrote right now, 'Hey, are we dating now?' You'd get the answer. Yukino-san isn't stupid, I'm sure she's aware of the change in your relationship."
"Easier said than done..."
"Please, Onii-chan, you know very well that Yukino-san is not the kind of girl who would let anyone sleep on her bed." Komachi leaned back and rested her chin in her palm, looking at me contemplatively.
Let alone the fact she was willing to remove all of her favorite Pan-san stuffed animals for me...
"Anyway, I'll see her at school. I'll find the opportunity to communicate about it with her."
I opened the Messaging app on my phone and tapped on Yukinoshita's profile. Just as I did, I noticed a small, circular indicator that signaled that she was currently online, only for it to rapidly disappear.
"..."
"The message won't write itself if you just keep staring at your screen like that."
"I need time to think about how to write it."
"You just have to say that you got home, what's so difficult about it?"
Quiet, Komachi.
You don't realize how troublesome it can be to have to think about the exact way to write a message to a girl.
'Hello, I got home.' might be good enough, but it sounds too simple and boring. Then, what about 'I finally got home, my family's been annoying me so I forgot to write you.' Nah, it's bad as well.
Think, Hachiman, think...
"Give me your phone, I know what kind of messages girls like to receive."
I don't know why but my instincts tell me not to trust her.
"What are you gonna do?"
"Let me cook, big bro."
I passed my phone to Komachi, watching over her shoulder as she began to type on the screen.
'Hi, my beloved Yukinoshita! I'm home but I already miss you so much! I hope my absence doesn't make you feel too lonely, but know that I love you very very very-'
Okay, okay, I've seen enough. I knew I couldn't trust her!
"Don't even dare!" I raised my voice and took back my phone from Komachi before she could end the message.
"What? I'm sure she would have loved receiving this from you." She giggled uncontrollably.
What about my dignity?
"And I would have been extremely embarrassed that she sees something like this."
"Oh, come on. Either you hurry up and write something to Yukino-san, or I'll do it myself."
I sighed, but an idea popped in my head.
"I know a way to get her to smile at my message no matter how I write it."
Komachi raised an eyebrow, her expression filled with curiosity and suspicion.
"I'm home... and alive, I guess."
I sent the message and quickly opened the photo option, picking a picture of Kamakura and attaching it to the message. As soon as I hit send, I saw her online status pop up almost immediately.
"Ah, smart move," Komachi complimented.
A moment later, Yukinoshita replied to my photo with a reaction—a red heart. A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth
"See? I can manage just fine."
"It worked because it's Yukino-san."
"Then it's good. It's not like I talk to a lot of girls anyway."
"Huh..."
What?
Wait, I actually talk to more girls than boys-
"I mean, by messages."
"Oh, yeah, right."
"Komachi?" I glanced at her.
"Yeah?"
"Didn't you say that you would leave me alone once I tell you about yesterday night?"
Because now that it's done, I would very much appreciate having some more peaceful time now.
"Yeah, but since I have a lot of free time now that I've finished my exams, I thought I'd stick my nose into some of your business," she said with a smirk.
So this little sister of mine just decided to use her sweet free time to bother me.
I sighed.
But I'm not really against it. I allowed her to bother me as much as she wanted while she could. So, I won't try to tell her to stop.
Death is a terrifying concept.
Recently, I had a strange feeling. The closer I come to my own end, the stronger this feeling grows. I still have a few months ahead, but do you realize how little that is?
It's only human to fear death. Maybe that feeling I experienced is tied to some deep-rooted fear of it. Most likely, that's the case.
I spent so long thinking about how others would feel about me, focusing so much on protecting them that I overlooked my own emotions. I wanted to spare my friends the sadness and tried to find a way to minimize the impact my condition would have on them. But in the end, I've realized—there was no avoiding it.
And now, I see that what I'm feeling was also unavoidable.
For the first time, I think that I am scared for myself, concerned about myself even more than for others. I've ignored the pain in my heart for so long that now, each time it twinges, I'm reminded of what's waiting for me—what my fate has in store.
What I'm destined to become...
A fading memory.
"Hikki?" A feminine and familiar voice reached my ears. Looking at my side, I just noticed that Yuigahama was here.
Ah, yes, I was waiting for her.
"Ah, you're here."
"I've called you out three times. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I was just a little thoughtful."
"Oh... okay. Let's go."
I nodded as we began to make our way through the hallways of the building.
People still talk about me around here, but I've gotten used to it. It doesn't bother me much anymore, though it's a different story for those who've been close to me recently. Yuigahama and Yukinoshita are constantly bombarded with questions about me.
Everyone knows about my connection with them through the Service Club, so in class I can often see girls and boys trying to grab some information about me out of Yuigahama.
And from what I could observe, she had some struggles while handling it. Fortunately, Hayama and Miura helped her.
Speaking of Hayama, it's not like I pay him much attention, but when I exposed the truth about the rumors yesterday, he didn't seem the least bit surprised. I don't expect any reaction from him, really, but it still caught my attention.
"How was it with Yukinon?"
And about Yukinoshita...
"It went as well as it could," I answered, looking up at the ceiling and replaying the scenes.
"As I can see from the weird smile on your face, I'd say things went pretty smoothly," she said, her tone laced with amusement.
After a while, we reached the clubroom, Yuigahama pushing the door open and making her usual loud introduction.
"Yahallo!" She waved, heading toward her seat.
Yukinoshita lifted her gaze from the pages of her book, her attention shifting to us. Her lips curled up into a soft, warm smile, her eyes brimming with affection.
"Good afternoon, Yuigahama-san."
Then she looked at me, her cheeks taking a slight turn of pink.
"And... H-Hello, Hikigaya-kun."
Don't give me that flustered greeting; you're getting me flustered too.
"Y-Yo."
I sat down on my usual chair, pulling out my novel as I began my usual activity when the club isn't doing anything.
The atmosphere in the room felt different now—the heaviness and awkwardness that were present the night before had vanished entirely. The clubroom had returned to its tranquil, peaceful state.
It was a familiar feeling, one that I hadn't experienced in a while before my absence that day, when everything started. Now, things seemed to have returned to what they were before—almost as if things had finally settled back into place.
The only difference was...
Yukinoshita and I couldn't maintain eye contact for more than two seconds before we both suddenly became extremely flustered... Every time I looked at her, my mind couldn't help but replay everything that had happened that night.
Okay, let's stay focused on my novel... Keep focusing, keep focusing, Hachiman.
...Why do I suddenly feel observed again? Okay, just one peek.
As soon as I shifted my gaze to the girls, my eyes met Yukinoshita's once more. Her cheeks reddening almost instantly.
If you get flustered, I'll get flustered too...
Don't get flustered...
Yukinoshita attempted to hold my gaze, but her efforts were betrayed by the adorable way she failed, her failure so endearing that my cheeks immediately reddened at the sight of her flustered embarrassment.
I then decided to put my attention back into my novel, trying to calm the wave of heat that spread across my cheeks.
"It became a real struggle to deal with curious people since the rumors about Hikki had spread," Yuigahama spoke up.
"They really don't give you a moment of peace."
I could usually block out the chaos surrounding me, but it was proving to be harder for Yuigahama, who was not accustomed to dealing with hordes of people bombarding her with questions.
"I share what you feel. People have no respect for one's personal space," Yukinoshita added.
I wouldn't have believed that they dared to try to get something from Yukinoshita.
"They ask such stupid questions sometimes."
"I know, right? Yesterday someone asked me if a heart attack hurt."
"It's either that, or... very sensitive topics," Yukinoshita's voice grew somber as she spoke, her expression darkening along with her tone. "Such as if I've ever witnessed you losing consciousness before my very eyes."
"That's... That's so disrespectful!" Yuigahama exclaimed.
Not only is it disrespectful, but people really don't have any filters when they ask things. I get that they're just curious, but they're going too far sometimes.
"I guess everyone has their part to endure here."
The girls nodded in agreement.
"How long do you think this will be going?" Yuigahama asked.
"Maybe as long as I am alive."
A heavy silence fell upon us after my words left my mouth. It was as if my remark had caused it. I hadn't meant to provoke such a reaction—it was merely a genuine hypothesis on my part.
"...Let's hope it'll cease soon enough," Yukinoshita said, stroking her ching with her fingers.
"Yeah..."
It's not every day that you find out that there's some guy in your own school who's suffering from an illness, especially when this same guy is likely going to die very soon.
Many are worried, some are curious about my condition, but most of them used to hate me in the past or didn't even know about my existence.
Right now, I am being cared about by so much more people than I'd have anticipated. Since I had returned, I never received so many 'Are you okay?', 'We're supporting you.', or 'I hope you'll get better.' from people. So, that's how it feels to be positively popular?
The most surprising thing about it is that I can't help but be pleased by so much attention.
The hours passed by, and the sky gradually darkened outside, a rich array of indigo and violet hues peeking through the windows of the clubroom. With no requests waiting to be fulfilled, we decided to conclude our club activities for the day.
Yuigahama and I left the clubroom first, Yukinoshita having expressed a desire to stay behind for a while longer for reasons unknown.
Once we were outside, Yuigahama bade me farewell, heading off towards her own path. I had a particular destination in mind and needed to stop by a nearby vending machine before hailing a taxi to take me home.
I pressed the button of the distributor, ordering a can of Max Coffee. It's been a while since I've last drunk one of these.
"It's got pretty tough these last days." A voice spoke up behind me.
I leaned down to pick up my can, then stood upright again. Turning around, I was surprised to find myself facing the source of the voice. He was the last person I expected to meet in a place like this.
Hayato Hayama.
"It's been tough since much earlier for me," I uttered, opening the can of Max Coffee and stepping aside.
He came to the vending and commended a drink for himself.
"That's true, you've been suffering for quite a while. When I think that you were already ill the first time we met..."
I took a sip of my can and sighed.
"You don't need to act so sorrowful here, you know."
"I am genuinely concerned for you."
"I thought you hated me though."
"Hating someone doesn't necessarily mean that you'd be happy to see them die." The creak of his can opening tickled the air.
I settled onto a nearby bench, my gaze fixed straight ahead as I took in the tranquil nighttime surroundings.
"Are you saying that you'll be crying after my death?"
"What a strange way to interpret it," he said, a quiet chuckle escaping his mouth. "Though, I admit that I can feel that small twinge in my heart whenever you talk about your... your end." His voice retrieved its seriousness when he ended.
Thank you for caring, I guess.
The current circumstances seemed to have a way of encouraging people to unveil their profound thoughts and emotions. Oddly enough, it also inspired me to do the same.
"Tell me, what do you think of death?" I asked, glancing up at him.
His gaze shifted in the direction I had looked earlier, his mind carefully pondering the question.
"It is indeed a sensitive topic, and I don't feel comfortable speculating too much about it either. However, I would be naive to ignore the fact that it is clearly dominating your thoughts and troubling you deeply."
"I had convinced myself that I had come to terms with it, but in truth, I had only been trying to push it out of my mind. Yet, there came a point when I began savoring life in a way that felt so..." I paused, searching for the right word to capture the intensity of what I was experiencing. The feeling was unlike anything I had ever encountered before, a truly unique and singular sensation.
"It was indescribable."
And that's when I experienced it that I realized how much I would be missing.
"Now, this is painful, isn't it?" he calmly spoke, his voice gentle as a soothing breeze caressing my face.
"..."
"Tell me, Hikigaya, is this moment you're talking about perhaps related to her?"
Maybe, I'm talking too much.
"If we're thinking about the same person, then yes." I finished my can of Max Coffee and stood up.
"I see... Many things must have happened between you two."
"You have no idea."
I threw the empty can into the trash and began to walk away.
"At least, try to enjoy as much as possible what you've still got with her." His voice reached my ears as the distance between us grew larger each step.
"Will do, see ya." I said, not knowing if it still managed to reach him or not.
Hayama doesn't often take off his mask to talk to people. What he did with me felt so natural that I didn't really question it.
At the same time, I said what I had on mind. I don't know why I told him that, but sometimes you feel like there are some words that just want to leave your mouth.
What he would think of me afterwards didn't matter to me.
Because I know that my passing isn't gonna have much impact in his life.
*buzz!*
My phone vibrated repeatedly in my pocket, signalling an incoming call. When I took it to see what was the source of the call, the profile picture of Yukinoshita appeared on the screen.
I tapped the green button.
"Hikigaya-kun, are you home yet?"
