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Chapter 25: Promises to Keep

Dinner that night was a quiet affair, the polar opposite of the night before. Hunith hadn't been sure Uther would even join them, as he had been in his chambers since they had parted ways in the throne room. But when she and Merlin entered the dining room, he was already there, sitting in his usual spot. Only the slightest tension in his facial expression hinted at his grief.

Merlin stopped in the doorway, then to Hunith's surprise, he slipped his hand out of hers and walked over to Uther. Without saying a word, he reached up and wrapped his small arms around the king in a hug.

Uther looked down at the boy, seeming startled, then looked over at Hunith, almost as if asking for guidance. It was all she could do to hide her smile at his bewilderment. After a moment, he reached out and awkwardly patted Merlin on the shoulder. Merlin hugged him for a minute longer, then let go and walked over to his usual place at the table, all without saying a word.

As Hunith walked to her own spot, Arthur entered the room behind her. Hunith looked over at him, feeling a measure of concern. Surely Uther or someone else had told him about Gorlois by now? She hoped whoever it was had broken the news gently to the boy.

As Arthur passed her to take his usual spot by his father, Hunith reached out and gently touched his shoulder, wanting to convey comfort and let him know she was there. He stopped and looked at her, then gave her a hesitant smile before continuing to his seat.

The minutes trickled by in silence. Nobody seemed sure what to say. Usually, Uther would have asked Arthur about his lessons, and Merlin would chip in about whatever he did that day without anyone having to ask. But no one brought up these mundane, everyday things now.

It was a relief when the food was brought in. At least that gave them all something to do besides sit in silence and exchange looks. For a while, the deafening silence was lessened by the clinking of knives against plates, and the occasional quiet thump of a glass being set down.

Hunith turned to Arthur. "How are you doing?" she asked him quietly.

He looked up at her, then over at his father. Then he shrugged, "I'm okay."

Hunith didn't want to press him, but she didn't want to leave it at that either. "If you want to talk, I'm here to listen," she told him gently. Arthur nodded, but didn't say anything more.

The main course was soon cleared away and dessert brought in. When a servant approached Uther with a platter, he held up a hand and shook his head. Merlin on the other hand, looked up at the server with big eyes. "May I have two please?" he asked, almost hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure it was okay to be thinking about dessert when everyone was so sad.

For some reason, the question seemed to put just a little normalcy back in the room. Nothing tangible changed, but Hunith could see Arthur's shoulders relax a little, and she noticed he took a second pastry as well.


By the time the servants came back in to clear the dessert dishes, Merlin was half asleep in his chair. Hunith looked over at her son and started to rise from her chair, presumably to take him back to his room, but Uther touched her wrist to stop her, "I need to speak to you."

He glanced toward Arthur and Merlin before adding, "In private." The boys would need to hear what he had to say eventually as well, but not yet.

Hunith nodded. She turned to Arthur, "Arthur, would you do me a favor and walk with Merlin back to his room?"

" He's so tired, I'm afraid he might fall asleep on the way there if he walks alone," she added with a small smile.

Arthur grinned fleetingly at the image, then nodded, "Sure."

"Come on, Merlin," he added, and the younger boy sleepily took his offered hand.

As the two boys left the room, Hunith sat back down and turned to Uther, "What do you need to talk to me about?" Usually, she was the one who initiated these conversations; it was the first time Uther had been the one to ask to speak to her.

Uther hesitated, not quite sure how to begin. He was glad he hadn't tried to do this while the boys could hear.

"Before Gorlois died, he and I had an… arrangement of sorts. If anything were to happen to me while Arthur was still young, he would rule as my regent and care for Arthur until he was of age." Uther had no blood relatives left, besides Arthur, and he could think of no one else he would trust with his kingdom and his son. He paused, looking at Hunith for a moment, "That was before you and I married, of course, I suppose things would be different now." The regency would naturally fall to Hunith, and somewhat to his own surprise, Uther knew that he would trust her with that. Perhaps not quite as he had trusted Gorlois, but he knew she would not mean his son any harm, or get any ideas about keeping his rightful throne for herself.

He shook his head. He was getting off track, "But, the point is, the other half of our arrangement was that if anything happened to Gorlois, I would take Morgana as my ward." Of course, he would have done so even without the agreement. Morgana was his daughter, after all. He had thought about that on the day long ago when he and Gorlois talked, and felt the accompanying guilt at what he was keeping from his friend.

Uther met Hunith's eyes once more, gauging her reaction. He knew this wasn't exactly a small thing to spring on her. Their marriage was still relatively new, and they, along with their children, were still adjusting to that dynamic. Now he was telling her he planned to add another child into that mix. He wasn't at all sure that he would have reacted well in her place.

But of course, Hunith was a very different person than he was, and her eyes were filled with warmth and compassion.

"Of course, I understand," she murmured, "I was thinking about Morgana earlier, worrying about her being alone now that her father is gone. I can't imagine what the poor child must be going through…." She seemed to hesitate before she spoke again, "How did her mother die, if you don't mind me asking?"

Uther barely kept himself from flinching in surprise at the question. He supposed it made sense for her to assume that Gorlois was a widower. While there had been a lot of scandal and rumor when Vivienne disappeared, they had never spread beyond Camelot, and enough years had passed now that it wasn't talked about anymore.

"Vivienne…. isn't dead," he said slowly, "At least, not as far as I know." It had been more than five years since they had seen her, so for all he knew, she could be, "She left when Morgana was five. Took her horse and a few of her things and just…. walked out. She was there when Gorlois left in the morning, and gone when he came back that night."

He heard a sharp intake of breath from Hunith, "She just… left? Left her husband and her little girl? Why?"

Uther shook his head, "I can't answer that. Vivienne was never quite the mothering type. Or the wife type, to be frank." His own tryst with her hadn't been her only moment of infidelity, he knew.

"Gorlois looked for her of course, but she didn't wish to be found." Even if he had found her, what could he have done? Dragged her back to his estate against her will? It would have been his right by law, but Uther knew Gorlois couldn't have done it. He simply wasn't that kind of man.

It had been then, a few weeks after Vivienne had left, when Gorlois had given up hope of finding her, that he had asked Uther to care for Morgana if something were to happen to him, though he'd never quite given up the last hope that Vivienne would come back on her own, slim though it was.

Hunith shook her head, looking slightly ill, "I can't imagine just leaving my child and never looking back. Poor Morgana. And poor Gorlois. Did he love her?"

"More than she deserved," Uther responded harshly. He shoved away the nasty, guilty thought that the same could be said of Gorlois' loyalty to him.

"You have no idea where she went?" Hunith asked quietly, "Would she come back if she heard that Gorlois had died? For Morgana's sake?"

The thought had never crossed Uther's mind. "For all I know she could be half-way across the world," he answered gruffly, "And if she cared about Morgana, she wouldn't have left her in the first place. Even if she did come back, she wouldn't deserve her."

Hunith looked slightly taken aback, but after a moment she nodded, "You're right. I have always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I admit, it's hard to do in this case."

Uther cleared his throat. The conversation had gotten off-track again, and he was eager to be away from the subject of Vivienne. Thoughts of her were always tangled up with his own guilt, his betrayal of Ygraine and Gorlois….

"At any rate, I just wanted to make you aware of the arrangement Gorlois and I had, to give you some forewarning." He hesitated, "Are you… all right with all this?" Morgana coming to live with him wasn't up for negotiation of course, but he did want to know how Hunith felt.

"I'm more than okay with it," Hunith assured him warmly, "That little girl needs a home, and people to love her."

She reached out and put a hand over his, a gesture that no longer surprised him as it once had, "I think it's admirable that you want to take care of Gorlois' daughter. I know that is all Gorlois would want, to know she's safe and loved."

Uther looked away, feeling once again the stirrings of guilt. Would Hunith think he was so admirable if she knew the truth? That he had slept with Gorlois' wife behind not only Gorlois' back, but his own beloved wife's? That Morgana was his daughter, unclaimed, unacknowledged? Was he really so very different from Vivienne in the end? She had left Morgana, but he had never been there at all.

He forced the thoughts away, shoved the guilt down as far as he could. It was different, he told himself. He had left her with Gorlois knowing that his friend would be the best father she could wish for. It had been for her own good. For everyone's best. Vivienne had simply been fulfilling her own selfish desires. Now that Gorlois was gone, now that Morgana needed him, he would not abandon her.

It had been difficult at times, watching her grow up from a distance. He had occasionally found himself wishing that he could be a true father to her, as he was to Arthur. But the longing had seemed a just punishment for his sins. Now the memory of that wish brought the guilt he had tamped down surging back up again. He would have what he had wished for now. But he had never wanted it this way, and he would do anything to bring Gorlois back if he could.

He looked at Hunith, "I thought it better to talk to you alone first, before discussing it with the children."

He hesitated before continuing, "When I told Arthur that I was getting married, he seemed a bit…. hesitant about the idea at first. I'm not sure how he'll react to another change, so soon after the last one." He remembered what Gorlois had said while they were visiting Essetir, about how Arthur might be worrying about others taking his father's attention away from him. He seemed to have adjusted well to Merlin and Hunith's presence, but would this news unsettle him again?

"Why don't we tell both boys together?" Hunith suggested, "That way we can both be there to answer any questions they might have, and alleviate any concerns."

Uther nodded, "Yes, I think that sounds like a good idea." He was grateful she had suggested it. He didn't know if his pride would have let him directly ask her for help with Arthur, but truthfully, he knew she was far better at saying the right things and dealing with emotions than he was.

"When do you want to talk to them?" Hunith asked.

"I suppose we better do it as soon as possible," Uther responded. There was no sense in putting it off. This wasn't like when he had married Hunith, and their engagement had lasted several months. The arrangements for Morgana to come to the castle would start almost immediately. And he didn't want Arthur finding out through castle rumors, the way he had found out about Gorlois' death today.

"Tomorrow?" Hunith suggested.

Uther started to nod, then hesitated, "I don't know if I will have time tomorrow. I must meet with the council about the battle at the border, and I expect more messengers will come from the border. And there are… other preparations to be made." Preparations for Gorlois' funeral. There would be many other funerals in the coming weeks as well, but most of them would be planned by the families of the fallen knights. Gorlois' was Camelot's First Knight, and so his funeral would be done with high honor. Besides, he didn't have any family left, besides Morgana. It had been one more thing he and Uther had in common, a lack of blood connections.

Hunith nodded, and from the sympathetic look in her eyes, he could see she knew what he meant when he spoke of other preparations. "Of course, I know it will be a busy time; we'll tell the boys as soon as we can."

Uther nodded silently. It had been a long and trying day, and the thought of the even longer day ahead tomorrow filled him with a bone-deep weariness. Had it really only been this morning that they were making plans for a victory feast? Uther knew that the feast must still go on. They must acknowledge Camelot's victory, and the returning men. But with Gorlois gone, the victory didn't feel like a victory at all.

"Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?" Hunith asked quietly. He had half-forgotten she was still there.

He shook his head, "No, that was all."

She nodded, standing up, "I should go check on Merlin, make sure he got to bed." She hesitated, not turning to leave yet, and he could see the concern in her eyes, "Will you be all right?"

"I will be fine," Uther answered gruffly. He didn't need to be fussed over like a child. But he remembered how she had sat with him after he had received this news. He knew she meant well. "Thank you," he added, with an effort to make his voice less curt.

He stood up as well, "I am going to my chambers now, we might as well walk part of the way together."

Hunith nodded, with a hint of a smile, "of course."

They didn't speak as they walked down the hall toward the royal wing, but Uther found that there was something comforting in her quiet presence by her side. Not that he would have admitted such a thing out loud.

Soon enough they arrived at the corner that marked where their paths would diverge.

They stopped, and Uther gave Hunith a nod, "Sleep well."

She dipped her head slightly in return, touching his arm very briefly, "Good night, Uther."

He watched her set off down one corridor, before turning to walk down the other. He wasn't sure he had ever had a stronger desire to simply sleep and perhaps find a few moments of peace.


The day after the news of Gorlois' death, Arthur didn't see his father at all. It was just him, Hunith, and Merlin at supper. Hunith explained that his father had a lot to do today. Arthur knew more messengers had arrived from the front in the afternoon. He wondered if Lucan had heard news about his father's fate yet.

It was another quiet meal, though not as silent as the night before. Hunith asked the boys about their day, and how they were feeling.

Arthur didn't really know how to talk about the things he was feeling- sad about Gorlois, nervous about the fate of the rest of the knights- he kept thinking about Lucan's father-so he simply told her about his training session. Even that had felt strange. All the boys had been a bit more solemn than normal, as if it was dawning on them all that some day they would be the ones fighting in battles- and perhaps not coming back.

Hunith must have known he was holding things back. Just before they went their separate ways to bed, she reminded him again that she was there if he wanted to talk, and when he nodded and told her he understood, she gave him a hug.

For a moment, Arthur closed his eyes and leaned into the hug. His feelings were still too big and mixed-up to talk about, but somehow, even without words, her presence and her touch made him feel a little better.


The day after that, Uther was back at the head of the table. He told them that the troops were on their way back from the battlefield, and should be back in Camelot within a few days. It was good news, but a heaviness hung over it, the unspoken knowledge that not all of the men were coming back alive.

A couple times throughout the meal, Arthur thought he saw his father and Hunith exchanging glances, as if some silent communication was passing between them. He didn't think much of it, though, until the end of the meal.

"May I be excused?" he asked his father, pushing back his chair.

But Uther shook his head, "Not yet. I need you to stay for a few minutes. There's something I-" he glanced at Hunith, "-that is to say, something we need to tell you."

"Me too?" Merlin asked curiously.

His mother nodded, "Yes, Merlin, we need to speak to both of you."

Arthur exchanged a curious glance with his stepbrother, then looked back at his father and Hunith, trying to find any clue in their expressions as to what this was about. His father seemed as stoic as ever, while Hunith met Arthur's gaze with a thoughtful one of her own.

"Morgana is on her way to Camelot with some members of Gorlois' household," Uther started, which hadn't been quite what Arthur was expecting, "I received a message from his lands today."

"For her father's funeral?" Arthur asked soberly. He tried to imagine how Morgana must feel right now. How would he feel if he lost his father?

"Don't worry, I won't tease her or fight with her this time," he said, thinking maybe that was why his father was making a point to tell them this now.

However, his father looked slightly surprised at his words, as if that hadn't been what was on his mind at all. He exchanged another look with Hunith, and Arthur saw her nod, almost as if in encouragement. He'd never known his father to need encouragement for anything, or from anyone.

Uther turned his attention back to Arthur, "Yes, Morgana is coming for her father's funeral, but that is not the only reason she is coming. She will be staying in Camelot as my ward."

Arthur's mind went blank with surprise.

"What does that mean?" he heard Merlin pipe up next to him.

It was Hunith who answered, "It means that Morgana is going to come live with us here in the castle. We'll take care of her, now that her father is gone." Her voice was gentle and slightly sad.

"Like a sister?" Merlin's voice was hushed, but there was a hopeful, almost excited note in it as well.

Arthur saw Hunith smile, "Yes, a lot like a sister." Merlin clapped his hands, unable to contain a burst of excitement, "Arthur, we're going to have a sister!"

Arthur didn't say anything. He couldn't share Merlin's excitement. He didn't know how he felt.

Hunith leaned forward and touched Merlin's hand to get his attention, "I'm glad you're so pleased about Morgana coming to live with us, sweetheart," she said gently, "But you must remember, this will be a very sad time for her. You mustn't expect her to be as excited as you are."

That seemed to sober Merlin up. He nodded seriously. "I'm really sorry about her papa."

Hunith turned her gaze to Arthur, "How do you feel about this, Arthur? I know it will be a big change for all of us."

Arthur looked down at the table. He didn't know what to say. Before, when Morgana would come to visit, he'd complain to his father about how irritating she was (even if they usually ended up having some fun together, in between all the arguing.) But how could he complain about her now, when her father was gone?

But she wasn't just coming to visit this time. She'd be staying for good. Arthur was just getting used to having Hunith and Merlin around. He even kind of liked it. He wasn't sure he wanted things to change again. But Morgana had no one else, so saying that felt selfish.

Hunith laid a hand over his. "Whatever you're feeling, it's okay to feel that way," she told him gently, "This will be a big change in your life, and it's okay to be worried about that."

"I'm not worried, " Arthur said quickly, but from the look Hunith gave him, he could tell she didn't believe him.

"Well…. maybe a little," he amended, "It's just…. " he trailed off, again unsure how to express his feelings.

"Change is hard?" Huntih suggested gently.

Arthur nodded slightly, "Yeah, I guess. But when you and Merlin came to live here, that turned out okay. This will be fine too." He was trying to convince himself as much as anyone else.

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