The first one awake in the Proctor household was Gina.

The small girl was just old enough to know what day it was and once she was up at five, she knew that she wasn't going to get back asleep – not that she would try! She got herself out of bed and thankfully for the rest of the household, the four-year-old couldn't quite get the zipper of her dress and stubbornly struggled with it until six o'clock, when she was knocking on the door of her older brothers.

"Rock paper scissors?" asked Dean, flopping back over as he groaned at the morning wood he had from a particularly spicy dream about his best friend Pam that he'd been so rudely awakened from.

"I can do it," said Jerome, getting himself out of bed and going to get the door before her knocking woke up anyone else. Sure enough, there was Gina, somehow tangled up in her red dress with white trim, and he just chuckled a little bit. He knew his brother would just need some coffee and then it would be fine. "Did you try to get dressed?" he asked as he yawned and then pulled the dress up a little bit so he could hold out the sleeves for her to put her arms through. Despite it being Winterfest, the dress was short-sleeved, as District Ten never really got snow like the other Ditsricts.

"Jerome, it's Winter Fest!" she said excitedly as he turned her around to zip up her dress.

"Oh is it?" he asked. "I didn't notice." But of course he noticed he was still fifteen and he asked for some new tech that would impress everyone at school. Including the girls.

"Yeah right," Dean grumbled as he rolled over with a sigh, resigned to the fact he wasn't going to get back to sleep and getting up to go to the bathroom.

"Alright, let's do your hair," Jerome said, looking up when he heard footsteps approaching their room and saw another little girl with wild bedhead and an excited expression on her face. "Good morning glory."

Eleven-year-old Clarissa crossed her arms. "Yeah yeah," she said, not even caring that she looked like a mess. She was praying that she was going to see her repair kit under the tree this year, she wanted to start to learn how to fix things around the house like Dad always did! And yet, based on the faces of her parents when they saw her list, she had doubts. It wouldn't be the first year she didn't get exactly what she wanted. But her family worked hard to get a great Winterfest so she never liked to complain.

"You want your hair too?" Jerome asked as he was combing out Gina's hair and she started talking about everything she wanted for Winterfest. A dollhouse, pony toys, a new dress with matching ribbons…

"I thought you were supposed to cut that out," Clarissa said as she started just dragging the comb down her hair.

"Then I guess you're gonna get the praise for doing Gina's hair," he told her, and Clarissa just laughed at her brother and shrugged.

"Guess it's a good thing the parents have a no-bothering-us-til-eight rule," Clarissa said, just waiting for him to do her hair.

"I'm not associating with all this." Dean sat on his bed and while he wasn't going to stop it, he also wasn't going to participate. After all, he was on the track to inherit all of this from his parents and he didn't want to upset them. He wanted to uphold their values.

"Just as long as you're not a damn snitch," Clarissa said.

"Don't be a damn snitch," said Gina as she hurried over to sit on the bed with her older brother since her hair was all done.

"Hey now, don't," Dean said quickly, scolding her for saying anything as Jerome and Clarissa just laughed and he started to gently comb out her hair. "I'm not taking the fall if she says that in front of Mom and Dad."

"You never take the fall," Jerome said with a shrug, and Clarissa just blew a raspberry.

And it's only now, eight-hundred words into the intro, that the siblings realized that one of them was missing.

"Where's Gus?" asked Clarissa, looking around the room at the others. To be fair, it wasn't hard to forget all about him. He was quiet and didn't talk much, and when he did it was… Uh, strange. If it were up to their parents they would just elect to completely forget that the eight-year-old was there.

"Gus is the lucky one this morning," Dean grumbled just a little bit as he tried to lay back down and Gina just grabbed his wrist and pulled it.

"No lay down!" she protested.

"Should… We go wake him up?" Jerome asked as he looked over at Clarissa after finishing her braids.

"No," Dean said gruffly. "Let the boy sleep."

"Dean, he's eight," Clarissa said. "There's no way he's still sleeping on the morning of Winterfest."

"Are you sure about that?" asked Jerome with a small chuckle because he loved his brother, but that kid was not normal. "He probably forgot what day it is."

"I'm staying out of this," Dean said, and hugged Gina tightly, pulling her in and kissing the top of her head a few times in a row. "Grrrr, hug monster!"

"Ee! Hugs!" Gina squealed, kicking her feet, and Jerome just looked at Clarissa.

"Let's just go see," he said, because he worried about Gus sometimes. Clarissa nodded and together the two of them went to the room that August had to himself, for which the door was still closed. They exchanged a look before shrugging – it was Winterfest, he couldn't be grumpy too long even if they did waken him! He knocked on the door a few times.

Inside, the boy of eight was indeed awake – he had been awake for a few hours at this point, but he knew his parents' rule and didn't want to upset them by waking them up. He didn't want to risk waking anyone up with his excitement so he stayed in his room, entertaining himself. He knew that they would all be upset with him for waking them up. Which he was more than content to do as he had a new book he was reading and was trying to draw his own hand. But when he heard the knock, he was quick to get up and go to open the door for them.

"I told you he was awake," Clarissa said right away at how quickly he opened the door.

"…How long have you been awake, Gus?" Jerome asked, going into his room and flopping down on his little twin-sized bed.

"Couple hours," Gus said simply as he made a small noise of disgust at Jerome on his bed and hurried over to rescue his little stuffed doggy from underneath his oldest brother. "Careful."

"Oh, sorry doggy," said Jerome right away, shifting his weight off the stuffy so Gus could get him out.

"You'd better take care of doggy," said Clarissa. The stuffed animal was originally hers after all, and she had given it to Gus as a secret Winter Fest present last year because she wasn't gonna use it.

"I take care of him," Gus said right away, getting truly upset by that as he stuck out his lip a little bit and hugged doggy, worried that she was going to take it away from him!

"I know you do," Clarissa said as she also went to sit down on his bed – this time not on top of anything. She frowned at how concerned he looked, and that didn't even help him stop looking so concerned. "You've been up for hours? And you didn't come get anyone?"

"Didn't need to."

"Well, Gina's officially earned the title of biggest nuisance today because she came in around six to wake us up," Jerome said with a small chuckle. Clarissa laughed at that but Gus didn't laugh. He was too afraid of being the biggest nuisance. He knew that he had that title a lot. "Lighten up, little bro," he said as he reached over to ruffle his dirty blonde poodle curls. "It's a joke."

"Oh," said Gus, because he sounded so serious about it. He looked at his stomach and he knew that he needed to lighten up and lose some weight, he heard it from a few people. "How do I lose weight?" he asked, looking at Jerome. He was so slender.

"What?" Jerome asked, looking at Clarissa who just made a funny look and shrugged. "Where did that come from? It's Winter Fest!" he said, and Gus thought about it for a moment before he just stopped trying. "Don't worry about that, not today."

"Mom and I spent forever preparing the chicken cordon bleu for Winter Fest lunch," said Clarissa, before making a face.

"I know," Gus said, feeling… Frustrated, deep inside because Jerome was the one that started the conversation telling him to lighten up and now he was saying to not worry about it!? Gus just wanted to know what they wanted from him! It was so hard to please them. But he kept on trying. "I'll find a way to work it all off," he promised – and he meant his promises!

"Alright bud, just… Careful there," Jerome said, before he just took his shoulders and shook him a little bit, trying to get him out of the bad mood. He wasn't even fully sure what caused it. Perhaps he was just a little tired and crabby. "Come on, be happy. It's Winter Fest!"

"I'll try to be happy now," Gus said, closing his eyes and just trying to find that feeling of happy and summon it forth. He tried very hard. Clarissa watched him and just chuckled, while Jerome was trying to not smile too much and break his focus.

"Imagine trying to be happy on Winter's Morning!" Clarissa said, getting up and taking Gus's hands and pulling him up. Gus made a small sound of surprise, but… He really liked her holding his hands, and squeezed them. He liked that feeling even more than a hug sometimes. She started swinging his arms a little bit and singing a Winter song loudly while Jerome just laughed at the them – the dazed look on Gus's face while Clarissa was trying to cheer him up. It was a pretty tough task she'd taken on herself, but she always at least tried.

Jerome sat up and took Puppy, moving his little arms to the beat of Clarissa's terrible singing and Gus actually gave a rare smile watching him do that. And… Yeah, it was easier for him to feel happy when he had his siblings here being nice like this.

But the happiness was quickly stopped when they saw Mom standing there in the doorway, her hair in curlers and a look on her face that made Clarissa stop singing, and let go of Gus's hands.

"Sorry Mom," Clarissa said, pointing to herself and knowing it was her fault.

Gus knew he couldn't get puppy from Jerome when she was watching and just felt nervous – so nervous he couldn't really hold it in and he felt the energy pushing on his hands to come out – and he let some of it out by snapping his fingers a few times.

"I started egging her on," Jerome said right away. "You can go back to bed if you want."

Mom just gave them a small smile. "Actually, Gina came in and got us," she told them all, and there was a sigh of relief in the room.

"I'm glad I'm not the biggest nuisance," Gus said to himself as he snapped his fingers a couple more times with a deep breath. He could just be second place.

"Boys, get dressed in your nice clothes. Clarissa, we're going to get Gina and get breakfast set out for the men before we get dressed."

Clarissa huffed and sighed. "Yes yes," she said as she sighed. "I'll be right there." Mom turned to go to the kitchen and Clarissa knew she would have to follow to keep things from getting ugly. But she could see that Gus was back to not smiling so she stopped to take his hands again and sway his arms a little bit as she finished singing her song.

Gus didn't smile again, but he was thankful that she did that for him and it did make him feel better. He was mostly thinking about having to put on the dress clothes and he hated it but what else was new? He'd learned to manage it so that he wasn't the biggest nuisance that upset his parents.

"You gonna be alright?" Jerome asked him once Carissa finally had to leave.

Gus was always alright, he wasn't in great danger. "Yeah," he said with a shrug, before remembering to be polite. "Thanks."

"You got it," Jerome said, going to ruffle his hair but when Gus squeezed his eyes shut, Jerome just squeezed his arm before he left Gus to get dressed.

And from there it was a normal Winter Fest morning. They ate breakfast together and got some nice things in their stockings.

Then, the tree was full of presents for each kid, an even number and a good mix of price ranges. Jerome and Dean got the tech they wanted and were setting it up as the younger ones were still taking their time to open. Gina got her dollies and toys, including a big pink chair with her name on it to sit in while she was playing. There was a repair kit under the table, but it had Gus's name on it. Clarissa instead got a nice tea set and and a beginner's sewing kit among the clothes and dresses. They held up their presents with a smile, and when she bumped him, he didn't know what it meant but she knew that they were going to trade presents that night.

Soon, all of the present disappointment or euphoria was replaced by a feeling of excitement for the chicken cordon bleu. Mom talked about how hard she and Carissa worked to make it. Meanwhile, Dad gave a speech about how hard-working the Proctor family was and how becoming the men were and how beautiful the girls were and how thankful they should all be for how hard the family works to get things they want. And of course, how thankful he was to Mom for her fertile womb (who said it like that?) that bore him all these wonderful children to carry on his legacy. He addressed each kid – August last, as if he forgot about him, telling him that with that new repair kit he would officially get to start learning how to be the man of a household.

The conversation flowed easily between the big family. Well, for everyone but one.

Gus just watched and listened as he forked food into his mouth. He didn't like what Dad said about becoming the man of the household. He didn't feel ready for that. He didn't like the same things his brothers liked. But he had to do what he could to please them and not upset anyone…

He just didn't know if he could do it.

But instead of protest, he learned to not say anything at all.

Instead of being honest, he learned to not say anything at all.

To not make people laugh at him, he learned to not say anything at all.

So he would keep to himself.

Seemed to be what everyone liked better anyways.

~.~.

Another year, another Winter Fest.

Another year where Gus gets dragged out of his room, dressed up in stuffy clothes, and sat down for a bunch of pictures. Smile bigger Gus. Look here. It was always so overwhelming to have them all beckoning for his attention to look at their various lenses. Oh and when they used flash… Hellish.

And yet, this Winterfest was different. Instead of waiting for his siblings to wake up in his room, the thirteen-year-old was awakened by his parents. Instead of reading his book in his PJs, he had to go to the events hall. And instead of opening presents, he had to stand in front of a big crowd and just try to not lock his knees like they said. Instead of sitting with Clarissa and Jerome on Winter's Eve, he had to go to the Event Center with everyone and practice walking. Who needed to practice walking?! Gus knew how to fuckin' walk. What he didn't like was walking down the aisle with Pam's sister, who was a few years older than him. She said he was pigeon-toed. Well his feet weren't birds!

How he envied Gina. She was the flower girl. That meant she got to walk down the aisle by herself, without a girl that was mean trying to hold his arm. Ugh, how he hated when people touched him like that! They had a ring bearer too who brought the rings to them – Pam's cousin who was only a year younger than Gus. Ugh, lucky. He even got to carry a soft pillow.

But no. Gus was a groomsman. Why? Dean wasn't even really his friend. All of Dean's friends that stood with him were so much older and taller than he was. Jerome was the best man, and Gus was pretty sure he was the worst man.

He certainly felt the worst after the talk last night with his Dad.

"Dad…" Gus usually didn't seen Aaron out, but today he did. He just had to ask him.

"Aha," he said when he looked up. "August. I was looking for a chat. Come in."

"Thank you." Gus politely came in, snapping his fingers a little bit in nerves because he wasn't looking forward to this. But he just… Had to figure out why he was in this position. He didn't want to say much else, already wishing he hadn't come in here.

"Did you want to go first?" Dad asked, giving a smile. "I feel like we might be thinking the same thing."

August hesitated but just squinted his eyes to try and look like he was smiling back and nodded. "Sure," he said, and cleared his throat. "Um, Dad…" He didn't look at him, it just made him feel uncomfortable and squirm a little bit. "Why am I a groomsman?" he asked finally.

"What?" asked Aaron, looking at his son in surprise. "Oh. Well, it at least comes close," he sighed and shook his head, and Gus felt like it was not a good reaction. "Why wouldn't you be? Your brother's getting married now."

"Uh…" Gus bit his tongue, not sure if he wanted to speak.

"Spit it out!" said Aaron, and Gus quickly started speaking, barely able to control himself.

"I just feel like the girl I'm walking with isn't very nice, a lot of people are going to look at her touching me and everyone's going to stare as we're all standing, and I just would like to be the ringbearer. Thanks."

Dad just stared at him for a moment, and then chuckled a little bit and put a hand on his shoulder. "Oh Gus," said Aaron with a chuckle. "You're a man now. You're thirteen now. I was thirteen when I started working, and now look where we are! The head of house for the Proctors, the most hard-working family in the whole nation! Your brothers started working at this age as well, they became men. And now… It's your turn."

Gus stared at him. "I don't feel like a man," he said right away.

"Give it a few days, it'll put some hair on your chest," he said with a laugh. "You're lucky you're getting started in the winter months – Dean and Jerome had to start in the heat of the summer!"

"I… Working? That's what makes hair grow?" asked Gus. How did that work? How hard did he have to work? Did he want chest hair?! He didn't know.

"What? No. It's a figure of speech." Aaron just groaned. "This is why it's time for you to get out there."

"Oh," said Gus quietly. He never could tell, maybe he was too trusting or something. And… Working might… Help with that? "Clarissa doesn't work," he said right away when he thought of it, blurting it out before he could stop it.

"Well Clarissa does her job. She helps your mother cook, clean, tidy, and keep the house."

"I want that job please."

Oh, that was not good. He wasn't sure how, it was just… Not good.

"You're a man. You're walking down that aisle and if that girl is being a bitch, grab her tighter. Monday morning, we're taking you out to the fields. No son of mine gets bossed around by a woman."

He turned back to his desk, slapping his hands on it which made Gus jump as he got up and took it as a goodbye, saying nothing and just leaving. He could have asked, he could have clarified, but he didn't. He didn't speak at all. He just wanted to be away from there.

Jerome said that Gus could reach out and grab his hand if he needed it. But a man didn't do that, so he tried not to and just watched the girl in the white dress, Pam, his almost sister-in-law. Dean, holding her hands, smiling at her. He was a man. She was a woman. He liked Pam, he liked talking to her and she was pretty funny. Would Pam just become a woman for the rest of her life? He wasn't sure.

"I now pronounce you man and wife." Man. He got to still be a man. Wife. She became a wife. What? "You may now kiss the bride!"

They didn't kiss yesterday, but today they kissed, and everyone cheered for them, throwing fake snow. It was Pam's only dream – to have snow for the day on Winter Fest. This was the best anyone could really do in District Ten. She was grinning and he was smiling back as he picked her up and walked down the aisle with her, the gown hanging down and hitting the floor. Gus just watched. He felt happy for them, probably… He also felt uncomfortable in these clothes. Just as they practiced, Jerome stepped forward first, grabbing the girl's arm wearing a red dress, and walked down the aisle. Gus was next, stepping up with the girl. He hesitantly put his arm out to her, but when he felt his Dad looking at him, he flexed it a little bit to try and be strong, setting the pace – which was a little fast, but it was his pace and she stumbled after him.

"Hey!" she hissed, and Gus just kept walking. Hopefully Dad was smiling.

But when they got out of the room and he saw the look on her face, he knew it was bad. And he felt a bad feeling crawling up his back.

"I'm sorry," he said as he released her, staring at his hands. "I did'nt like that. I'm not going to do that to other people."

"Whatever," said the girl as she walked away, but Gus frowned. He didn't like that. He liked it while he was doing it, because she was mean to him, but… Not after that. He wouldn't like to be controlled like that. Like… A cow. That wasn't who he was.

"You okay bud?" asked Jerome as people started to go to the banquet hall for a cocktail hour. Jerome patted his shoulder a few times.

"No," said Gus, but when he saw how his expression changed, he quickly said, "I mean, yes."

"I know. She's a bitch," Jerome said with a chuckle as Clarissa came over.

"Still don't know why I couldn't just walk with you," she told him as she elbowed him a little bit. She had so much make-up on it was hard to recognize her. But she looked beautiful. "Well, all we gotta do is smile for some pictures and then we get to par-tay!"

"Oh I'm ready to party," said Jerome as he leaned over to look at… Somewhere else.

"He's looking at Alyson," said Clarissa with a laugh as Gus looked for her and found her in the crowd. She was all made up too, though not a bridesmaid. The blue dress she was wearing still made her dark skin seem to glow. "Bruh, if you get caught sneaking her out by Mom, I'm not covering for you."

"Yes you will," said Jerome with a laugh. "You too, okay Gus?"

"Sure," said Gus, absolutely willing to cover for his brother – God knew his siblings covered for him. Hell, Clarissa had been doing all the fixer-upper jobs under Gus's name since he got the repair kit!

"Okay," said Jerome with a grin.

"My dapper men!" said Mom as she found them and Jerome turned quickly around. "And beautiful girl," she added with a smile. "Pam's finishing up her family pictures now, so we're up next. Oh, how handsome Dean was up there, and Pam such a beautiful bride. And all of the bridesmaids just so gorgeous. Gigi did a great job with the flowers. And my two handsome men standing for their brother." She grinned. Gus did not feel like a handsome man, he felt like an itchy pile of hay. "Stand up taller Jerome, Lily's looking this way."

Gus found Lily right away – she was a bridesmaid, blonde and busty. Lily smiled and waved and Jerome put up a hand to wave back.

"Isn't she such a nice girl? You can't keep on running around forever as a bachelor, Jerome. All of the beautiful young brides will be taken if you don't hurry. You should court her tonight, ask her for a dance. You need a nice, fair-skinned girl."

Clarissa made a sound that Gus wasn't sure about but it sounded like a gag.

"Yes Mother," said Jerome, but Gus had a feeling he didn't mean it.

"Alright, Proctors!" said Dad, smiling as he was holding Gina on his shoulder. "It's our turn!"

"Get over here!" Dean said with a grin, and when Dad delivered Gina to him, he hugged her so tightly.

"Come now, quickly," said Mom, and when Jerome and Clarissa hurried over, Mom grabbed Gus's arm and held him back for a moment. "Remember how to take a good picture, honey. Don't throw a fit and ruin your brother's only wedding day."

It wasn't the first time he'd heard that today and he was trying. Look at all these people that weren't throwing fits that could ruin their brother's only wedding day. He could suck it up and deal with it – he had been and he would continue to.

There was an actual professional photographer and Gus didn't like looking at him, but he forced himself to do so. Dean and Pam stood in the middle of the parents, with the girls on Pam's side with Mom and Gigi and Jerome and Gus on the boy's side. Chin up, squint eyes, show some teeth – but not too much teeth Gus – just to get the best picture. He expected the photographer to say something… But he didn't. "Okay, siblings all together," they said, as parents left and they took more pictures.

"Men!"

In, out. Gus was so glad when his part of it all was over. He didn't want to be the smiling man, not when he felt like this. As soon as he could step out of the hot spot, he slumped over, putting his face in his hands. Hold it together, Gus, don't ruin your brother's only wedding day.

"Gus." A hand on his shoulder made him snap up with a small yell. Jerome frowned and put his hands up.

"Groomsmen are going in soon. Just a few more, okay?"

Not okay.

"For Dean."

For Dean… He would try. Gus dug his fists into his eyes as they announced it was time for the party to come in for the pictures. He didn't say anything, but when Jerome offered a hand, he took it behind his back. He could see Dad shake his head. He didn't care. He couldn't just change who he was.

Chin up. Squint eyes. Show some teeth. He didn't like doing it and his cheeks were flushed red with frustration, but he did. Pam and the girls –

"Shouldn't Dean and the men go first?" He wasn't sure why Clarissa asked it, but he was so glad she did. Just a few more clicks. He could do it. One nice. One funny. One walking towards the camera.

"Okay men are done. Pam and the girls!"

As soon as he heard the magic words, Gus doubled over. He was so glad that was over. He heard another click and another and it just felt like his ears were being stabbed. Everything else blended together, he just heard the clicking.

"Jerome," said Mom right next to Gus's face pointedly. He could sense people coming over and he knew he was going to make a scene, and ruin his brother's only wedding day, so he just buried his nails in his cheeks and stood back up.

"I just have to go to the bathroom." He nodded at them all, still grabbing his cheeks, and going there so quickly, just to be away from there and try to calm down.

He couldn't make a scene. Nobody wanted him to make a scene. They just wanted to believe his lie, and he wanted them to believe it too.

He just went in a stall, snapping his fingers, and rocked. It was so overwhelming and he just needed a moment that wasn't. But he couldn't ruin his brother's only wedding day and now he pushed himself too far. Even though all those other people could hold it together. They were just stronger than him. He didn't know how they did it.

Cocktail hour continued without him.

Nobody even missed him, once the initial worry of a few wore off.

He was where they all wanted him to be.

Out of their way.

~.~.

He was now so hardworking that he was out working on Winter's Eve.

Not quite in the way that Dad wanted.

It only took about a week of working hard with the crops and animals to realize that Gus wasn't cut out for it. He wasn't man enough for it. It made Jerome and Dad have a screaming match because he just couldn't handle it. It got so bad that even Dean stepped in – and for once, took Jerome's side. It wasn't what Dad wanted, but he got the new deal – as long as he was working a job, it didn't have to be a job of intense physical labor like his brothers worked.

So he was here, working hard, but not out there. Thank God. His work was exhausting, but it beat being out there by a mile. It wasn't what anyone wanted for him and they still never said what he did to anyone that didn't know, but he was at least happy this way.

The fourteen-year old had a book open on his lap and on each leg sat a 3-year-old boy. They were related by marriage – sons of Pam's sister (older sister, the one that wasn't a bitch to Gus at the wedding). Their parents were with Dean and Pam, drinking and being festive adults. Probably with Jerome, and if at all possible he would sneak Alyson there too. Only if he was sure the parents were preoccupied with Gina.

So what if he would never be a true man doing this? He liked it. Way better than being out there and crying and falling victim to his own emotions.

"And suddenly, his wish was answered," read Gus out loud, pointing to the drawing of a boy pointing up to the sky and one star shining brighter than the others. "It was a Winter fest miracle."

"Oooooh," said Orson, leaning forward as always to examine the pictures while Prescott clapped his hands and wiggled on Gus's leg a little bit.

"A Winter fest Miracle!" he repeated loudly, also his habit after each page.

"The town looked up as the star shone brighter and sure enough…" He lowered his voice. "The flakes started so small. And touched their noses." He leaned over to gently tickle Prescott's nose who squealed and laughed.

"And then they became bigger, and bigger, and fluttered their eyelashes." He leaned over to do the very same to Orson who wasn't quite as loud as his brother but was just grinning. "They were thick and fluffy, and cold to the touch. Brrrr."

"Brrr!" said Prescott with a small grin as Orson leaned more into Gus's side and yawned.

"The snowflakes kept falling and falling and falling until there was a white blanket on the ground. It glimmered and sparkled like diamonds under the moon."

"Mommy wears diamonds," said Prescott.

"Oh I know," said Gus deadpan because they all had those giant rocks on their rings. "Well that's apparently what snow looks like."

"You see snow?" asked Orson, blinking at him a little bit.

"No," said Gus. "But I'd like to. I doubt I ever will, but you never know." Talking to the kids was just so much easier than having to talk to the adults. He was here in his comfy PJs because kids didn't care what he looked like. After all, he had just gotten them bathed and was telling them one last story before bed. He looked back at the book that I'm frankly too lazy to write out the rest of, and read through it with just as much love and care. It was worth it for them. He finished the book and closed it, setting it down on the nightstand. "Alright, it's time for bed," he told them and while Orson whined, he was already nodding off, and Prescott was protesting pretty loudly, but would settle down.

He lifted up Prescott and put him up on his hip as he pulled the covers over him and pulled the handle up on his toddler bed, finding his little stuffed animal and giving it to him as he closed his eyes.

"Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite." He kissed the top of Orson's head and then went to put Prescott in bed. "Bedtime."

"Oh, Guuuus!" he whined, but when Gus put him in bed, he yawned and stretched. "Story, one more," he said, pulling on his sleeve.

"Not tonight," he said. "Next time. Promise." He smiled. The boy would forget, but Gus would keep his promise anyways. It was important to him. He took extra time and care to tuck in Prescott, knowing he would try to squirm out of it and make Gus tuck him in again. He really pushed those sheets under him and then smiled as he kissed his forehead. "Good night, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."

"I won't," Prescott said, before he rolled over and yawned and stretched again as Gus moved the handle up to his toddler bed to put up the bumper that would keep him from falling off.

Gus smiled to himself as he went back out to the living room and made himself a cup of tea. He hated coffee, but tea always made him feel nice. He could sleep if he wanted to, but he was a hard worker that would stay awake so he could be there if he even heard a peep.

He turned on the TV he was welcome to and found something mindless to watch as he opened his own book. He liked babysitting. It could get a little crazy sometimes with the two young kids, but it was always a craziness he could handle. He loved working with them and he was trying so hard to keep getting people to let him babysit for them instead of working out in the fields with his dad and brothers.

They wanted him to act a way that wasn't who he really was. They liked to keep up their family image, mostly. Sometimes Gus thought his parents really cared that he wasn't a man enough, and sometimes he figured they didn't give a damn except for what their friends thought. It was always hard to tell. Dean was the same. The rest of them played the game, but reluctantly. Gina was getting old enough to see this now that she wasn't an adorable little girl anymore, but she would always be the baby. Clarissa the older girl, and the twins the oldest. Gus was always just kind of… There. Unless he wasn't, and nobody seemed to mind. Well, when he wasn't there, at least he could be here, making someone's life better by taking care of their kids, letting them have a nice night out with family members. And he was getting paid for it too. So he was going to always do his best.

Look at the bright side, this could get him a girlfriend.

Like the girls at school even thought nicely about him.

He's just learning independence, soon he'll be ready to go back to the men's work.

Never.

But they could keep deluding themselves with their so-called candor.

He didn't get too deep into his book before he heard the expected sound of footsteps in the hallway and looked up to see the little boy standing there, wrapped up in his blanket.

"I don't wanna go to bed yet," he complained.

Gus just looked at him for a moment before he put down his book (only slightly annoyed about it) and went over to scoop him up and sit with him on the couch. "Then we'll go ahead and watch a Winter Fest special," he said as he found one he liked on the TV and enveloped Prescott in a warm hug. With the hug and the gentle rocking in his lap, the three-year-old didn't last even through the first song, but Gus kept him there a little while longer anyways. Just to make sure he was really asleep.

And well… It was nice to have him there. Sure, kids could be disgusting little gremlins, but animals were so much worse. And with kids they got to have special times like this, even with two twins in the house. It was one of the places where Gus was special – no, needed so badly. He was always noticed, especially when he has to go take a piss and has to talk to the kids through his door (not at all his favorite), but he did what he had to. He was a Proctor and he was a hard worker. This was how he would work hard and hopefully someday make his family notice him, and be proud of him.

Gus gently carried the sleeping Prescott back to bed, making sure that Orson was actually sleeping as well, and then breathed a sigh of relief. It was an easy night for him, despite being Winter's Eve.

He went back out to the living room, seeing the tree standing so tall and lit with a soft, warm glow. He saw the special playing on the TV – a Capitolite person walking the streets at night with luminaries giving food out to someone homeless from their class or something while meaningful music played in the background. And yet, he couldn't help but smile. A rare thing. But a real smile at how nice and warm it was here. For once it felt like he belonged here. He wasn't sure what there was to come, but for this Winter's Eve, in his comfy PJs, with Puppy in his evening bag, away from everyone else and with the two kids… Yeah, this was the best one he'd had yet. He did pretty good. He wanted to keep doing this.

But that was to be worried about another day.

For the night, there was nowhere else he'd rather be than here. They were out having fun, singing songs, drinking eggnog and wine, staying up late. Gus was just here, by himself with a couple kids, having a quiet Winter's Eve.

And yet, it was a perfect Winter's Eve.

~.~.

He wasn't supposed to be here.

It wasn't a job that paid particularly well. In fact, it barely paid at all.

And yet, he was here anyways. After all, he had plenty of money and didn't need the money. He just needed to work. His folks didn't know that he happened to be on the other side of the District for this one. They didn't really ask him about his work and for all they knew he could be out of the house loafing off. Sometimes the sixteen-year-old thought that they might hope he was doing that.

But he wasn't. He was a Proctor and Proctors were hardworking. He was always out – if he wasn't babysitting then he was out at any event that could have parents at it and trying to meet them all. He had gotten better and better at fitting in with them all with time – he supposed he had his parents to thank for that. A lot of them didn't really have phones or anything so he just had to keep being around and hoping that he could arrange a time to meet the kids right there. He even went door-to-door trying to grow his business! And Gus hated going door-to-door.

On this side of the District, it was incredibly easy to find work. Nobody wanted to babysit for the poorest folks in the District. The shit scoopers. The kids are terrible and you make no money, they all said. So maybe he wasn't making a lot. But the kids weren't at all terrible! They were great.

And… It was once again Winter's Eve. Acts of charity were the name of the holiday. It was all about people coming through and helping each other. When he was a kid he always wondered what the point of it was when he was getting presents he didn't really care for – and trading them with his sister – but now that he was older, he really understood. But Gus didn't just like to help others on one day every year. He liked helping people all the time. He knew that the work his brothers did was important, but it was all for the family company and the family name. Same with his sisters, all the things they did were for the family. It was like the Proctors just… Lived in a little bubble, away from everything else. It didn't take a genius to realize that, it just took growing up and seeing what was on the outside.

But stepping outside the bubble was probably the best thing Gus ever did – and that was saying something because he usually despised change. But the kids made the change pretty easy because they were so good.

Gus rinsed off the last dish in the small tub of water for the kitchen – he liked to bring a tub of fresh water over here when he could, and even when he wasn't on to babysit, he liked to bring one over every few days – and handed the wet dishes over to Kaiser, who had a crusty towel to dry them with and take them each to where they went. It was just the two of them tonight so there weren't a lot, but usually there were a few in the sink that Gus helped to clean up while he was there.

"Thanks for your help." He didn't ever have to help, but Gus tried to encourage it, and Kaiser always did help. Even when he was tired or grumpy.

"No problem," said Kaiser politely.

Gus smiled at him. "Well, what would you like to do now?" he asked. "We have all night."

"I dunno," Kaiser said, shrugging.

Gus thought for a moment. He wanted to wait for a bit, but he couldn't wait. "You know, it's Winter's Eve," he told him, expecting that wide-eyed expression of excitement and frowning when he didn't react that way. He just shrugged.

"Yeah," he said. "I think I knew that. I dunno, Mom says that's just a holiday for rich people."

"Oh," said Gus, with a small frown. But of course the poorer folks wouldn't be able to celebrate the holiday. Gus frowned because he wished there was something he could do to help every single one of them, but… At least he could help just one. "Well, I got you something," he said.

"Huh?" asked Kaiser, staring at him for a moment.

"It's not anything great," he said as he went to his evening bag and moved Puppy out of the way to the two small presents he had wrapped.

"Y-You got something for me? I-I should ask my Mom-"

"Well I'm in charge now and I say, you should open it," he said as he got out the box that was wrapped and handed it over to the eight-year-old. "As a thank you for being an awesome kid."

"Y-You already got me something for my birthday…" he said.

"Yeah, that was fun. Well, go on and open it."

Kaiser looked at him and then looked at the box, but it only took a second before he was gleefully ripping apart the paper with a guttural cry that made Gus wince to himself just a little bit at how loud it was.

"Woah!" he said as he looked at the Robot Boxers. "What is this?!"

Gus just chuckled. "It's called, rock 'em, sock 'em. It's a game. Let's get it out of the box."

"Okay!" said Kaiser. Gus went to get his pocket knife – the one manly thing he was 100% convinced was necessary for daily life – but by the time he had it out Kaiser had ripped up the box, revealing only the plastic and wire ties on it.

"Here, let me finish opening that for you," he said with a chuckle as he unwound the ties to open it and then put it on the floor. Kaiser was just staring at it with wide eyes. "Look. You can control the robot arms with these little knobs. And the body by pulling this part in and out." He turned the knob and his red robot's arm moved a little bit.

"Woah," Kaiser said, turning a knob himself and then the other, then moving the handle a little bit as he was still a little bit awed by the toy.

"Wanna play?" asked Gus as he tried to remember what Clarissa always told him to do. But he didn't, he didn't think it was important at the time.

"Yeah!" Kaiser said enthusiastically, having that smile on his face that just screamed joy – even to Gus who sometimes struggled to figure out how people were feeling. "Please!"

"Alright, ready?" Gus asked. "Three… Two… One… Go!" Kaiser didn't have any strategy at all and barely cared about the rules, mostly just having fun turning all the knobs wildly. Gus soon gave up on strategy himself and did the same – just turning the knobs wildly and watching the robots get tangled up in punching each other.

They had so much fun that they lost track of time, and before the boys knew it, they heard the clicking of the lock.

"Oh fiddlesticks," said Gus, right before the door opened and Camry stood on the other side of it.

Kaiser had turned and ran to bed, even though she could clearly see that he wasn't in bed before – and Gus was cussing in his brain. He was supposed to do his job and he didn't, he was having too much fun! He remembered last time he didn't do what he was supposed to at his job and he got such a bad scolding and almost lost that family for good! Shit, he didn't want to lose Kaiser.

"I-I'm so sorry," Gus stammered out.

"What's that?" asked Camry as she hung up her old jacket and went to examine the toy.

"I-" Gus said, frowning even more. "I-I just got it for Kaiser. It-It's Winter's Eve."

"So it is," said Camry with a small nod. "I've only ever seen commercials for these on TV," she commented as she sat on the floor to look at it, and moved one of the knobs. "Oh!" she said when she saw the arm of the robot move. "Wow!" she laughed.

"I-I'll go put Kaiser to bed," said Gus, not wanting her to be upset. "We got all the chores done and everything!"

"What? Oh honey," chuckled Camry. "It's okay," she told him. "As you said, it's Winter's Eve. A special night. Well… Not usually for us, but…" She looked at the toy and then then at Gus. "You made this one his most special Winter's Eve ever. So thank you." She smiled at him and went over to give him a little hug. He still didn't love hugs but he'd learned to manage them. "Thank you so much," she said softly, her voice wavering a little bit.

"Oh," said Gus, not sure if she was happy or upset still. "Um… I actually got you a present too." He knew how hard she worked all the time and he always liked to watch Kaiser while she worked, but also... He worried about how much she worked. She was way more hardworking than any Proctor he'd ever seen.

"Oh honey, you didn't have to," Camry said right away, but Gus pulled it out of his bag anyways.

"I know, but please take it. It's… Kind of nothing to me," he said honestly. But it was everything to them. It was so easy to change lives sometimes…

Camry took the soft present and moved it around a little bit before she too started tearing into the paper – this time without the guttural scream, thankfully – and picked up the red scarf that was wrapped in the paper. "Oh… Gus…"

"Happy Winter Fest," he said with a smile a she was feeling the scarf on her face.

"Thank you," she said, and she truly meant it. Gus couldn't help how happy he felt, and before he knew it one of those rare smiles came across his features when he saw how happy she was, and remembered how Kaiser was so joyful playing with the new toy.

"You're welcome," said Gus. It was time for him to go home – the last place he wanted to go, but he would – but he still had to finish his job. "I'll go put Kaiser to bed now."

"No need," she said, putting the meager payment in his hand and smiling at him. "Thank you as always and have a great holiday," she told him.

"You too," said Gus, turning to leave. Just as he did, he heard her calling.

"Kaiser! Mommy wants to play!" she said loudly, and it barely took two seconds for the boy to come running back over to her excitedly.

"Me too!" he said energetically as he sat back down by his robot. "I wanna play too."

Gus smiled as he heard the sounds of the plastic hitting together, mother and son laughing together even after she worked such a long shift. He had to go home, but he felt so nice and warm inside even with the slightly cool breeze that covered the District at night in the winter.

It was so easy to help people doing this job and he loved it. It was never about the payment. It was just about what he could give. It felt better than any hard work he was forced to do at home. There was more to this life than just being a Proctor. He wished some of the others could learn that too.

He thought about the joy he'd seen in that house and knew that it was all because of him. He couldn't change everyone's lives for the better, true.

But for this year, he could change just one family's. And for now… Well…

That would be enough.

~.~.

A/N: Had to do it to ya.

Next chapter: Kunal Lindberg, a name you'll hear again sooner than you'd think. Gotta rush out the door to work now, byeeeeeee.