Kunal couldn't care less about school.

The eight-year-old was laying his head on his desk, eyes closed, as the young schoolteacher was talking to them about math. He really didn't have an interest in learning how to do this. He really just wanted to be at home, playing with Mommy, or watching Dad carve an animal out of a tree. He always loved to carve and sell his art to Peacekeepers – or gift them to friends and family. With Mom doing field work and big sales from Dad's craft, they did plenty fine. Yeah, he didn't want to watch a teacher, he wanted to be home with Dad. Or maybe with Jaskier, if his younger brother wanted to play the same thing he did. If he didn't, usually Kunal could convince him to play his game instead.

He was supposed to be doing the work independently as the schoolteacher had moved to talk to the older students – the 13s and 14s – and left the younger students to do their work. Kunal propped up his head, looking over at Jaskier a few people apart from him who just looked confused as well. Well, no help from him. But he was only seven and Kunal was eight so that wasn't a surprise to him.

The morning had dragged by, but when Kunal had actually sat up and focused, he was able to figure out what to do quickly, and finished his worksheet before the teacher returned to them. That wasn't so hard. After all, he was lumped in with the sevens and nines, they had to keep it a little easy for them. He remembered doing something very similar last year. This just wasn't the environment where he really… Was happy.

But soon the environment would show itself because they were released for their mid-day break. It used to be called lunch time, but a lot of the students didn't really eat lunch so they just call it that instead. Jaskier was going to come and stick with his brother, but he got pulled away quickly by his friends, as per usual. Didn't even really look back.

That's okay. Kunal was pretty used to being a loner. His parents told him and Jas to stay near the schoolhouse and not wander too far, and he listened to them. He had nothing to do – no books around to read, if he even wanted to, that weren't encyclopedias or books that even adults couldn't really understand. So Kunal just walked around the building in circles, observing what he could about it. He didn't really have a lot of friends. There weren't a whole bunch of kids his age in their schoolhouse anyways, and all of the ones that were close preferred Jaskier. Every once in a while, Jaskier would insist that Kunal play with them, but Kunal couldn't really get into it. He wasn't much into roughhousing and playing those kinds of games. He also just… Didn't really connect with that group. It was hard for him to connect to anyone, and he wasn't really sure why. He just never really knew what to say when he was face-to-face with someone.

"Kunal, right?"

The boy looked over when he heard his name, and froze up a little bit when he saw someone he didn't really know that was saying it. Her clothes were dirty, but her cornrows were nice and neat. She had her hands behind her back, a slight distance away from Kunal.

"Yeah. Hi." He put up a hand in a wave. He didn't want her to not like him. Nobody there hated him, it was just… nobody there liked him either. He just… Didn't really belong.

"Hi. I'm Mansi." She waved a little bit. "I noticed you usually spend your break time doing this."

"Yeah," said Kunal, not sure what to say about it as he was just looking at her and it was like any word he could think of stuck on his tongue. He was used to this feeling with strangers – never sure how to please them – and just gave an awkward smile and nod.

"Do you… Like it?" she asked. She was keeping the conversation going? That was… A little rare.

"Yeah," he said as he was just looking at her. He really wanted her to like him – he really wanted everyone to like him – but this one was actually here, giving him a shot. "My parents don't want me to wander too far."

"Yeah, my parents told me I have to stay by the school too," she said. "We live pretty close to you, I think. I always see you walking your brother when I'm walking to school."

"Oh yeah," said Kunal. "I noticed that." It was hard not to notice someone his age that was on the same path he took. "You always walk by yourself."

"I don't have siblings," she said. "Your brother is lucky he has someone to walk him to school." She made a come-along motion and started walking again around the building, and Kunal noticed that and hustled a little bit to catch up to her.

"Oh," said Kunal, because he never really considered Jaskier lucky before. He wasn't some big protector – Mom and Dad always told them that they could protect each other. Jaskier was always the more rough and tough one anyways, despite being a year younger.

But Mansi didn't have to know that.

"Yeah," he continued. "I'm always vigilant when we walk to school together, just in case something happens." It was… True, not a lie because he was. It was the context that was a lie, but he didn't say it! If she took it that way then… It was on her.

"Wow," she said. "I can't imagine having to do that. The walk to school always makes me a little nervous." They turned the corner together and Kunal was looking up at the ivy on the school building.

She was impressed with him. That was… A really good feeling and he wanted that feeling to keep going. He just wasn't totally sure how. "Well where do you live? Maybe I can walk you there too."

"Would you?" asked Mansi. "I would love that. I'll write down my address and you can give it to your parents. They should know how to find us."

"Oh." He said as Mansi plopped down with her pencil to write it out for him. She was serious. Maybe Kunal actually could make a friend. She finished and then handed it to him. "Your parents can help you find it sometime this week. Then we can walk together every day."

"Okay," said Kunal right away, not about to turn this down because he really wanted a friend – and maybe this could be it, if he did what he was supposed to do!

"I'll get my parents to walk there with me tonight."

"Okay," said Mansi as the schoolteacher stood outside and started ringing her bell to signify that break time was over. "I liked walking around like this," she said and smiled at him. "Can I walk with you every day here too?"

Kunal's eyes got a little wide, but he quickly nodded. "Of course."

A friendship was made that day. Hopefully, one that would last.

Finally!

~.~.

It was the dark of the night.

A ten-year-old boy was struggling to get even a wink of sleep. Across from him, on the mat, his nine-year-old brother was sleeping soundly. It was not a large space – practically as big as a modest closet – but the boys agreed they wanted their own sleeping space away from their parents.

Kunal rolled over and let out a quiet yawn. Jaskier was a pretty deep sleeper but he complained when anything woke him up in the night. He was way too awake for this right now. So Kunal just groaned to himself and got up to stretch. Maybe he just needed a little bit of space for a moment. His parents slept like logs, so he had no fear about waking them up in their common space. Maybe if he was lucky, he would catch Dad up carving on something. He had started to take on some field work in the day as the boys got older, and in the night he would practice his passion. There was still plenty of small carved creatures that were all around the house, gifts to friends, big sales that were greatly celebrated by the family when Peacekeepers agreed.

He tiptoed past Jaskier, who didn't do as much as stir, leaning towards the common room to listen for the gentle sounds of the knife, carving small tiny details onto the log. But instead he heard whispers when he got to the common room and quickly hid behind the doorframe. He knew that he should just go back to sleep, but… It sounded like they were arguing.

His parents never argued! Well, not that he knew of anyways. Maybe they argued like this every night. But he wasn't so sure. He had gotten a glass of water many a night – sleeping was always hard when he just wanted to stay up thinking all the time. Thinking about… Who knew what, he always forgot about it in the morning…

"I'm sorry Antony," said Mom softly, her eyes filling with tears. "He just wouldn't stop."

"I know you've been making eyes at him. I've seen it," said Dad.

"He's our supervisor and superior, I don't have a choice but to heed what he says."

"And have his baby. When were you going to tell me if this didn't happen?!"

"Right away," she said. "I just… I felt… I felt terrible," she said and she was starting to cry and speak above a whisper. "Antony, please believe me, I didn't consent to it-"

"Then why didn't you feel like you could trust me!?" asked Dad, and Kunal could see that he was upset. Hurt. "Why did you have to wait until you got a positive fuckin' pregnancy test? You know how that sounds Yolanda."

"I know," she said and she didn't have an answer for him. "I-I-" she just didn't seem to have a good response for him. Kunal noticed the change in her mannerisms after he said it.

Kunal was just blinking in shock. Pregnant? But… Some Peacekeeper? Kunal knew slightly what that meant but… Why? She wasn't married to a Peacekeeper she was married to Dad!

"I need space," said Dad, starting to collect his sleeping mat and his things.

"Antony, please. I was assaulted, please believe me," said Mom, crying tears that… Were different from the tears Kunal had seen her cry. It was kind of an intuition.

"Then why wouldn't you tell me!? If you weren't putting out for that big rich Peacekeeper willingly why didn't you come to your husband!"

"I was afraid you would do something ridiculous. Is this really all about him having more money than you!"

"This is about him fucking my wife!" said Dad loudly, and Kunal was a little scared of him yelling and ducked back with a small noise.

"Kunal-"

"Just let me sleep over by the door." Dad already was putting his stuff down, in the same room, but away from Mom. "Kunal go to bed."

"Honey…" said Mom, coming towards him, but Kunal wasn't sure what to think and he just put up his hand to stop either of the parents from trying to talk to him any longer.

"It's okay," he said. But it wasn't okay. "I'm just going to go to bed."

"We're a family. We're going to come back from this," said Mom with tears in her eyes. "Okay? We're going to be fine. Just go back to bed."

"For Christ's sake, Yo, don't lie to him," said Dad, and that made Kunal feel… Actually, a little better. Better that he would tell the truth about what he'd just seen. Because Kunal was old enough to know that it was… Not pretty. And it meant that nothing would be the same in their family.

"Kunal…" said Mom, trying to touch his face.

"I want to go to bed," said Kunal, feeling emotions pushing at his throat. He took a deep breath and swallowed to push them back down, and then turned around.

"Not even a glass of water?" asked Mom.

"Leave him alone," said Dad, and Kunal quickly shook his head.

"No." He felt… Like everything was crashing and burning around him. "I just want to lay down."

"Okay…" said mom slowly, and Kunal just shook her off and turned to go back into the little bedroom he shared with Jaskier.

He slowly laid down, almost wondering if he wanted to wake up his brother and tell him what just happened. But when he saw how peacefully Jaskier was sleeping, he swallowed the urge back down. Let him enjoy his blissful ignorance and have a good calm night. Kunal didn't have the same, but he didn't mind. He would have rather it been him that was kept awake anyways.

Dad thought that Mom was a cheater. Mom said she didn't want to. Kunal didn't know who to believe. He felt tears start to form in his eyes and put his face in his pillow to hide the sounds, just in case it even had a small chance of waking up his brother. He could make it through this but he wanted to do it by himself. Not have people trying to ask him questions and comfort him and make everything worse.

He rolled over and just held onto the pillow tightly as his tears started to flow freely – silent tears of someone that was both begging for help and simultaneously didn't want any help at all.

Now he definitely wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.

~.~.

A worn book sat on the floor of the closet-sized space that Jaskier and Kunal called their bedroom. It was the first vessel that brought Kunal any sense of peace since what happened that fateful night. In a world of not knowing who to believe or what to do, this was something that made Kunal feel… At ease. Peaceful.

The earth was amazing. It created so many things that could be used for good. For healing. Sure, the apothecary could do nothing to heal the pain inside Kunal's heart… But physical ailments could be helped with just a few herbs and plants. It was almost like magic… Which did exist within the earth, deep underneath the ground and in with the trees, but in a different way. It was a calming spiritual energy, not magic per say, but it existed all the same deep in nature.

It brought that calming feeling deep within Kunal to connect to that energy. And that was what had gotten them through these difficult few years as dad transitioned into being a single parent and switching jobs from wood carving to field work.

Laying inside of it as a bookmark was a pamphlet about gender identity, that opened up their eyes to a totally new sense of self. They were always somewhat awkward about being a man as they didn't connect to the thought, and now they knew why. It was because they didn't connect to any gender.

Now, at the age of fifteen, things were so much different. Some ways for the better and some… For the worse. But things had at least settled into a new normal for the family. And as was routine, Kunal had one evening off – Wednesday, after school. All other days now they were missing school, but Wednesday was at least a day that Kunal could keep special. They liked going to school – Jaskier didn't, he was good at the hard work and didn't mind the long days. Guess it gave him something to do, some way to cope with everything. But Kunal still valued their education, even when it was a bit rough sometimes. Sometimes at this point, they were the only one that even showed up on a Wednesday. But they didn't mind sticking out. They stuck out in just about every other way after all.

At least they got some reprieve from people staring when they were here. They got some space away from people that don't understand them, even if that space was naught but a closed door. And they had some time to read about something that they actually liked – no, at this point, it was love. In a place like Eleven, it was nearly impossible to find something that one loved – hell, Kunal saw it all around them. Grown adults, resigned to their fate of field work for the rest of their lives, constantly toiling, sore, aching.

Their Dad inspired them that sometimes, dreams were worth following. After all, he always followed his dreams, from the time the "boys" were little. He always had his little carvings around the house. Well… Not so much anymore… Sometimes he would carve something, but wood was becoming harder to come by in their area. At least, the really good wood from the olden days, according to him.

Dad got to follow his dream, so Kunal wanted to do the same. Sure, he had to put it down for a bit to make ends meet… But that wouldn't last forever, would it? Surely not. But there was just no way to know…

No. They couldn't keep thinking like this. Getting down into the deep deep darkness of existential dread was good for nobody. So they reached over to their source of solace, their light in the sadness that tried to overpower them.

And opened it to a page for which the corner was flagged. A cure for the common cold. Kunal took long walks, sometimes with Mansi, and sometimes alone, looking for these herbs and marking them very lightly when they did find what they were seeking. Maybe it was time to go out on another walk, book in hand, looking for the mystical healing powers of the earth…

Kunal looked up when they heard the door, realizing that she must have had the same idea. Her hair long left loose, smoothed down as much as possible, usually put back. Mansi saw them and put her hands behind her back. "Hey Kunal." She looked around a little nervously. Kunal knew her well enough to be able to tell that she had something she didn't want to say or talk about.

"I was just thinking about you, darling," said Kunal, choosing to ignore it – sometimes with her, it was more effective to play the soft game. While with people like Jaskier, it was more effective to be aggressive. She had a much softer lilt to her, and Kunal had to remember to put on the gentle face to get what they wanted from her. "No Jaskier, if that's who you're looking for." They didn't blame her for looking around for him – Jaskier was so obnoxious when she came over. From the time they were kids and became friends, he and Dad talked so often about how they would get married someday. Kunal wasn't even sure they wanted to marry anyone. They knew where they wanted to be, and it was an apprentice, and an apothecary. Not a married man. And why shouldn't they at least try? They were still young.

"I'm glad nobody else is here," Mansi said. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

Kunal looked at her nervous face, perturbed that they couldn't get more of an idea what that something might be. "Of course," they said, leaning back on their sleeping mat. But instead of sitting on it, she just sat against the wall. Sitting far away meant she was uncomfortable. Kunal wasn't sure how to get her to feel comfortable but they would certainly try. They kept their space – no need to be aggressive, they were very patient – and they just looked at her. "You know you can tell me anything. We're best friends."

"Well…" said Mansi, biting her lip. "I think we've been drifting apart lately."

Kunal was taken aback by this. "Oh?"

"Yes," said Mansi, frowning a little bit. "Since… You know…"

Kunal had to think about that for a moment. What was the moment that things started to feel different? There wasn't really one moment, that was the difficult thing. Sure, they talked less and less when they walked together, but Kunal liked it. It gave them more space to think. They didn't meet up quite as often but they were both just quite busy. "Gradually over time," they filled in. "There wasn't one moment that changed things."

"No…" said Mansi. "Well… I just have a lot of other friends now. Friends that… Share my interests more."

"We don't have to share interests to be friends," Kunal told her. They knew that she wasn't very invested in their apothecary things, nor were they much interested in her poetry. But she was a good poet and they still listened. Knowing that if they listened to her poetry, she would help them look for their next plant. It was a beneficial relationship.

"No, but…" Mansi just sighed. "I'm sorry Kunal, but I don't think we should hang out anymore. It's just… Too weird now."

"Weird now?" asked Kunal because that was one thing they didn't really understand at all. "How?"

"Because… You know…"

"I presume I don't know," said Kunal right away, not sure, but she obviously was reaching a breaking point and escalating. "Okay okay," they acquiesced. They would never learn what was truly on her mind if they didn't act agreeable. They could certainly act agreeable to get her to speak to them. "I suppose they have been weird," they lied.

That did the trick and calmed her down – but only a little bit. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to just… Stop talking to you suddenly and leave you confused."

But they were confused.

"We're just too different now," she said. "I work hard, I barely go to school anymore, and even if you did want to listen to my poems, I don't really write them anymore. I'm just too busy. And I'd rather spend time with people that have the same energy as me."

"Same energy…" said Kunal. She had a very calm energy. Kunal also thought themself to have a calm energy but apparently she didn't. Why would that be? They weren't so sure. "I'm sorry, I don't understand," they said finally.

"We're just too different," she asid again. Aha. That was her rehearsed story and she was going to stick to it.

"You don't have to lie to me, Mansi." They could tell she was lying. It was very… Un-Mansi of her to lie about anything. When she did, they always knew. And today, despite how different things had become… Was no exception. "It's something about me?"

"You're…" Mansi just sighed a little bit. "You're just weird now," she said. "Weird in different ways. You know that, I know, I feel so bad saying it, I just…"

"Aha," said Kunal, satisfied with that answer from her. "Of course I know I'm weird. I thought that you liked that weirdness, just like when we were kids."

"We're not kids anymore, and things are different now," Mansi said. "They're just… Too different. Don't draw this out, okay?" she asked, her eyes springing up with tears.

Kunal felt a trail down their own cheek, not realizing that they had been the first to start crying. But it affected her like that… They could have tried to hold it back and get her out of there, and part of them wanted to. But the other part was hurting, and seeing her hurt too… Felt like karma to them. Sweet sweet karma.

"I get it," they said. "I'm a fucking weirdo and you can't be seen with me." They knew that was what it came down to and she wouldn't say it out loud. "A piece of shit. That should just… Kill themself."

"Kunal no!" said Mansi right away. "Stop that." She was crying more. Good.

It was how they felt. They wanted her to know exactly how she made them feel. "You wish I would just disappear and make your life easier. You wish you had never talked to me that day."

"Kunal! Stop it, you're scaring me," she said, but she was crying and she wasn't scared. They didn't want to scare her like that. They just wanted to put the truth in her face.

"You said it. We shouldn't hang out anymore. I'm not your responsibility anymore. Whatever I do isn't your problem." Did they actually want to hurt themself? …Not really, but maybe. And if they did it would be her fault for doing this. Just like Mom did to Dad too.

"Calm down Kunal, I didn't… I…" she was crying. She was crying so much. Tear for a tear. In a way they were protecting her from a worse fate from karma – this would even them and then nothing worse would come back to her for doing this. "I don't even know what to say… I'm sorry…"

"I'm sorry is good enough," said Kunal, because this truly was enough. They dried their face off, feeling satisfied that she had gone through the same amount of emotional turmoil as they had gone through from this conversation. "I wish you didn't feel that way, but I will treasure our friendship for what it was. A few years of not being alone."

"I'm so sorry Kunal," she said, still crying and covering her mouth. "I made a mistake. I let them change my opinions. I change my mind, please forgive me, help me-"

"No," said Kunal. This… Made them feel a certain way. Perhaps that feeling was just the joy of being in control. Now it was up to them if they continued the friendship. Not her. All because of a few well-placed tears and open statements. People could be so feeble that way… And if she was so feeble, she wasn't worth their time anyways. "You're right. We're too different now." Her spirit was weak. Theirs was strong. "I think we should stop seeing each other."

"Kunal…" she said, staring at them.

"I need to go," they said.

"Where are you going?"

"I want to take a walk," they said. "Alone. So I can finally find some of these ingredients!"

"Can I come?"

"No," said Kunal, holding the door for her. "Don't draw this out, Mansi. I'm glad you came over to have this conversation." It was all her idea. Her fault this happened.

"I'll be here, Kunal, if you need someone."

"I need plenty of folks," said Kunal. "But no longer you." They held open the door. Mansi didn't talk anymore and Kunal felt something about that. So simple to have the last word when people were so… Weak, and meek. She just walked away. She had come in so nervous and left so defeated. Karma had come to her for abandoning Kunal. She was their only friend. And she didn't have time for them anymore because other people told her that. Not even worth their time in the first place, they thought she was smarter than that. Field work must have really been fucking with her brain because she didn't use to be like this.

No matter. Kunal had no need to keep lingering on this, despite how her words still echoed deep in his chest, taunting their heart into worrying about what she thought of them. They had other, better things to do, and they took their book with them.

The only solace they had.

Their light in the sadness.

The only friend they had left.

~.~.

Sixteen brought forth its own share of victories and losses. The routine stayed largely the same for Kunal. Wednesday remained open for school even at the age of sixteen.

Dad never carved anymore.

He was angry that Kunal would even imagine continuing school.

They were slightly less comfortable than they had been. Dad always said that Jaskier was the culprit, and had been contributing less to the family. And honestly, Kunal could believe that, knowing what they knew.

But they couldn't help it. They wanted to continue to learn. To get all sorts of books to read and learn about plants and even maths at this point. It broke up the monotony of life in a nice welcome way, while still being so structured.

Every Wednesday, they were the only one in school. All the other kids were much younger than them. But the teacher taught them any time they came. So they would keep coming.

So they were weird. They didn't care. They were doing what they could to remain happy and the others were weak-willed and resigned to toiling every day. They were all weak, even their own father. They thought he was different. But now they knew he was just the same. So preoccupied with survival that they refused to live. If searching for a way to live made Kunal weird… So be it. They were better than all those people that refused to go outside the box.

Nobody stared at them here in nature. The more the days went by, the further Kunal ventured out. Why wouldn't they? Nothing was waiting for them at home. Jaskier was barely around and Dad was letting the negativity turn him into a monster. Mansi was gone and nobody else understood Kunal. They didn't know what it was to nurture one's spirit. They were all husks of humans.

The further out they went, the more calm they were. The more plants they found. And… if they got lucky… A carcass.

Kunal themselves didn't hunt – and usually when they found a carcass it was past the point of salvaging. But Kunal didn't care a damn about salvaging the meat. They wanted to use what they needed for their greatest new passion – carving. But not wood. Wood had no spiritual essence. Wood had no life. But what did have life, deep inside? What had once provided structure for a great creature, big or small? Bone.

It started with little bones from a bird. That was how they got their practice. But the more they learned, the bigger they wanted to go.

And they pulled out their special project from their pocket to continue work on it. It was the best bone they'd ever found – from a coyote that was rotting and covered in flies. To them, it was a treasure unlike any other.

It was weird.

Ha. Fuck weird. They were taking the important parts of structure for the great beast, and creating art with it. They took the carving supplies that Dad left to rot and wither away. They put new life into these bones and make something that people would use out of respect and remembrance for those great beasts. They made small pendants, but this was the biggest thing they reckoned they would ever get to create, and they valued that greatly.

It was coming along well, they thought as they pulled out their carving knives. They were polishing the outside with a finer knife. The shape was almost created fully – a swirl at the top connected to a thin neck that thickened and swirled into a curved point at the bottom coming back up and creating a heart shape out of negative space with a broad point at the top. It was Kunal's prized possession, despite how rough it still was. So they carved patiently. A little at a time. The knives were being used. A passion was still being explored. Someone was truly living.

"Did you make that?"

Kunal looked up, jumping a little bit at hearing a voice and clearing their throat. "Yes," they said, looking at the person in front of them. They had short cornrows and an androgynous gait. Kunal had never met them before. "It's bone." Because I'm weird.

"Sick," said the other person. "Hi, I'm Kalei." They were similarly aged. "They/them."

"What?" asked Kunal, putting down the bone for a moment. "Really? I also use they/them."

"Really?" asked Kalei. "Woah!"

"Pretty rare," said Kunal, feeling… A true smile come across their face. They looked over at Kalei – bare feet, a little dirt on the face, and had that feeling right away. That feeling that perhaps this could be their kindred spirit.

"No kidding. Nobody back in my section even uses it for me, let alone for themselves."

"Yeah…" said Kunal. "My section is a little better, but… Not great. Wow," they said, looking at them. "Did you wander far?"

"Yeah," confessed Kalei. "About an hour from my home. I've been coming out further and further recently just to get away. Clear my head a little."

"Oh…" said Kunal. "Yeah I'm sure I'm about forty-five minutes form home at this point, at least."

"Don't your folks worry?" asked Kalei.

"No," said Kunal honestly. "They don't worry. I'm old enough to work, I'm old enough to wander. Just as long as I pay my dues."

"You're an adult?" asked Kalei. "I'm not quite. Sixteen."

"Me too," said Kunal, blinking at them. "Wow."

"I think fate just did something," said Kalei.

"Fate," said Kunal, before nodding quickly. "I always picture fate to have red hair and blue eyes and a big nose."

"Huh?" asked Kalei, but instead of just scoffing, they smiled instead. "Want to walk a little bit?"

"Yeah," said Kunal. "I'm looking for this herb right now so if you see it…"

"Oh!" said Kalei. "I'll keep my eyes peeled." They didn't even need Kunal to finish.

Kunal was still just a little hesitant – thinking about how often they smiled like this with Mansi before she did that to them. But… Kalei was already gesturing them along so Kunal packed up their carving supplies and then hurriedly went to follow.

Kalei was right.

Fate did something amazing that day and brought a new friend.

No, not friend…

Soul-sibling.

~.~.

Reaping day.

A day that scared most, and yet Kunal was relieved it had come. They were really looking forward to a day of sleeping in. Sure, they would have to go to work in the evening – it wasn't Wednesday after all – but at least the morning would go by with a little extra shut-eye.

And they would get to see Kalei today! Oh, they were so excited. Ever since they both started working more hours, they'd barely had a moment to meet up in the woods. But Kunal was aching for them somethin' bad. It was so lonely here that sometimes they contemplated just running away from here and going to live with Kalei. Maybe next year, after their eighteenth reaping, the two of them would finally decide where to go and live together. It was a faraway dream for now, at only seventeen.

But what was living without a little bit of dreaming? The people that lived in a world of so-called realism robbed themselves of so much just by a stubborn belief that this was how things had to be. Nothing was ever set in stone. The world they lived in was a world of change, and if people belived that, they would be so much happier. But no. These people wanted to be miserable. They wanted to live their lives this way. They were weak. They were foolish.

Kunal slept in a little bit – but not too long – and was just barely able to catch their brother before he was running out the door, before Kunal had time to do as much as yawn. "Hey."

"O-Oh, Kunal," he said, breaking away from his sibling and staying back. "…Hi."

"Where you going? It's early in the morning," they said right away, rubbing their eyes and taking a second to stretch.

"Huh? Oh," said Jaskier, putting his hands behind his back. Obviously uncomfortable. Haha. Uh oh. "I'm, ah…."

"Going for the girlfriend," Kunal filled in for him.

"Melia… Wanted to see me before the reaping."

"So…" said Kunal. "Things are gettin' kinda serious with her, huh?"

"…Yeah," Jaskier said with a laugh. "I mean, we've been going steady for a year or so."

"I can just taste the honey now!" said Kunal in a sing-songey voice. "And but I, I mean you."

Jaskier blushed. "Oh yeah. Maybe."

"I never see you anymore," Kunal said finally as they looked at their brother. "Melia… She sure likes having your attention."

"She's my girlfriend, Kun. Maybe you'll understand someday." It sounded like he didn't believe that they would. Kunal knew their brother, they could just tell. "And I don't want to upset her by being late."

Kunal watched him for a minute. I miss you, they wanted to say. I wish you'd be around more. We are still siblings. Family. It feels like we aren't even family anymore.

But they didn't want to hurt him. Not like they wanted to hurt Mansi. So they said nothing. They just put up a hand and waved. "Alright. Tell her I said hi."

There was no way he was going to do that, they could tell based on how stiffly he waved to them. "I will," he lied anyways. "See ya after the reaping."

"See ya," said Kunal, watching him leave and waiting for the door to close behind him before adding, " Maybe."

Pretty unlikely nowadays. Kunal couldn't blame him though. There really wasn't much for them here. Weren't they just dreaming of running away? Yeah, and part of that was because Jaskier ran away first. With this… Girl. Lucky him. He had about a thousand choices. Kunal barely had people look at them.

Oh well.

They shifted gears, focusing on plants. Thinking about where they could go next to discover new kinds of plants – and practicing creating remedies. That was what they thought of as they sat in a lukewarm tub, the bar of soap rubbing roughly against their skin.

The reaping was scary for some. It brought about the circle of life for others. Kunal themself was born during the Games season, but alas. They looked for birthmarks, tried to find a single sign of who they might have been, and it wasn't one of those tributes. There was no way for them to truly know who their past self was. They could have been a bird in a past life, a falcon. Or they could have been a bug, living only for a few days. They could have been a coyote, much like the one whose bone he carved, now perfectly polished thanks to some long and happy days in nature spent with Kalei.

A tribute, however? No. The day they were born was a day without death in the Arena. So their circle of life began due to someone or something else.

However, there… was one. One that was very likely a tribute in a past life. Kunal was lucky to have found him. And was of course going to go find him before reaping time to walk him there.

They got dressed and put up their dreads before going out the door. Sure enough, the moment he went around Arvin's house, the boy was sitting out in the front of it, reading a book by himself. This poor child. At least he had Kunal to look up to now. And Kunal was learning a lot from him as well.

"Kunal!" Arvin hurried over as soon as he saw them. "Hi Kunal," he said again, clasping his hands.

Kunal just chuckled. It was nice to be liked so much by someone. Even if it was just a kid… Well, not too much of a kid at fifteen, but to Kunal it was enough of a maturity difference to count him a kid. "Hi Arvin."

He was three years older now than his previous life had reached. He was born practically to the minute the day that Dawn from District Eight fell in the 36th Games. And it was obvious to Kunal that he had a very similar spiritual energy to her – a calmness and yet that childish innocence at the same time. Lucky him would get to know his previous life, and it would teach him much about himself. Kunal wished they had the same.

"Got any plans for today?" Arvin asked. "I mean, after the reaping." His demeanor changed when he started talking about the reaping. He was just a scared little kid. Honestly, Kunal wouldn't have given him a second look if not for this interesting information about him. Partially seeing what he could learn from someone connecting to a past life, and partially just… Living vicariously through him, in a way.

"I'll see my friend Kalei, it's been a while since I've seen them," said Kunal. "Then back to work in the evening. Since Jask's putting all of his funds into himself and his girl, I'm all my Dad's got. Old man's counting down the days until I've grown out of school."

"You can never grow out of learning," said Arvin.

Kunal looked at him for a moment, and then gave a slow smile. Sure, he was annoying sometimes and had a lot to learn, but he had the spirit. Despite all of the sadness that should have bogged him down, he believed in the strength of the spirit. And his spirit was strong. Even stronger since Kunal took him under their wing, of course.

Kunal started walking and Arvin trotted after him. "How about you?" they asked him.

"I guess just go home and read," he said. That was his escape. The thing he loved, and was passionate about. Hopefully he would never stop doing it, but Kunal wasn't holding their breath about that. Everyone just rolled over and gave up in this District as soon as things got tough anyways.

"That's good," said Kunal. "Reading. If it makes you happy you should always find time to do it. Trust in the universe and the earth, that things can and will work out." They liked to connect to the spiritual parts of the universe and they would teach Arvin to do the same. He was like a protégé of sorts for them.

"Oh yeah?" asked Arvin, looking at them with wide eyes and a huge grin spreading across his face. "I will, Kunal. I'll always make sure to keep reading and learning just like you!"

Kunal just chuckled a little bit and nodded. "Well then," they said. "Good. Don't let the world weaken your spirit. That's how you become a husk like the people around us. They live inside a self-imposed box and refuse to step out of it. What a miserable life they live."

"Yes, so miserable," Arvin said with a nod. "I see it in my parents too."

At least someone understood and agreed with them. Kunal smiled a little bit at that as they were wandering out towards the place they'd stopped only a few times before. But it was halfway between Kalei and the Square, and would be where they would eventually meet their friend to walk to the reaping together. It was always a treat.

"Did you say goodbye to your Dad?" asked Arvin curiously.

"No," said Kunal, and for just a moment they felt a prickle of guilt for a moment for that. No. They had no need, they would see him again. They reached into their pocket for their prized carving before realizing it wasn't there just as the apothecary's dwelling came into view. Shit, it was too late to go back and get it now… They would just have to trust that it would be there for them when they got back. They knew exactly where it was too, under their sleeping mat where it was kept in the night for luck. "You?" they tried to get their mind off of the fact that it wasn't in their pocket where it belonged.

"No," said Arvin. "But I don't got much to say goodbye to," he said with a sigh.

"Well then, we're one in the same there," said Kunal with a small reassuring smile as they patted his shoulder. They looked up, and were unable to keep up the pout on their face when they saw the dwelling. And of course, the sign on the front door that said open and meant they were welcome to go in. When Kunal opened the door, the sweet scents of spices and herbs came to their nose and they felt at home. If Jaskier was going to run away with his girlfriend, Kunal could run away too. Right?

There , right where he always was, mortar and pestle in hand, was Nalin. The man saw the two of them in the doorway and gave them a warm smile. "Aha, it's you," he said to them as he sat up a little bit and put down the supplies.

"Nalin," said Kunal right away, proving that they remembered his name. "Hi. Kunal."

"Kunal," said Nalin with a wry grin because of course he remembered but he always pretended to forget. "Hm…"

"You have to remember me!" Kunal said, putting out an arm in a dramatic fashion. "Kunal!"

"Oooooh, Kunal," said Nalin with a chuckle and Kunal puffed out their chest in excitement at getting recognized. "And…?"

"Oh, Arvin," said the boy, not at all offended to not be remembered as he was used to it at this point.

"Hi Arvin," said Nalin. "So? What's your ailment, Kunal?" he asked, just to chuckle at the reaction.

"Nooooo, I'm not here for an ailment," said Kunal. "My friend's meeting me here."

"Kalei," said Nalin.

" How do you remember them and not me?!" asked Kunal, putting a hand on their chest in offense. "How dare!"

"Gee, I'm sorry, I just don't ever remember you," said Nalin and Kunal huffed a little bit.

"How can I make you remember me? Please! I want to be your apprentice, I'm seventeen. I'm almost eighteen and I'm willing to drop everything and come here to help you. I've been studying since I was thirteen years old, that's four years more than any other apprentice you had would have!"

"Yes, but there is so much more to what I do than can be learned in a book," said Nalin. Kunal hung on every word he said, clasping their hands in a way that was not all too different from how Arvin was looking at them earlier. "Being a spiritual expert an apothecary takes a lot more than just knowledge. It takes a special state of being," he said mysteriously, putting up his hands and taking a deep breath.

Kunal breathed with him, staring at his hands in awe. "Yes," they said right away, putting up their hands in a similar fashion. "I know this. I'm learning more about myself and trying to connect to my past!"

"I'm very connected to my past," said Arvin.

"This isn't about you!" said Kunal right away.

Nalin just looked at them both and chuckled. They were nice kids and with how relentless and excited Kunal was, there was no question that he would take them in for an apprenticeship when they turned eighteen. But it was funny to mess with them! "Kunal, you know what I'm going to say. You have to build your discipline. You have to find yourself, and be pushed to the very brink of your spiritual being. Only then will you be worthy of an apprenticeship with myself."

Kunal nodded quickly. "Of course," they said right away, oh so vigilant.

"Alright," said Nalin with a chuckle. "Well, you're welcome to stay but I must get back to creating this remedy." He opened his book – a book far larger and more expansive than the one that Kunal had, and every time they just had to watch in awe and amazement.

"Of course," said Arvin, and Kunal sat down before he could say anything else to watch him make the remedy. They had no idea what it was for but they just had to watch until Kalei came and slipped in, getting a warm greeting from the apothecary that got Kunal all offended again.

Kunal didn't get to stay nearly as long as they wanted before they had to leave, moving towards the Town Square for the reaping with Kalei and Arvin on either side. Nalin had stuff to collect and patients to visit on the way – lucky man, Kunal was just waiting for the chance to be like him someday.

He would get through this reaping, walk around with Kalei, eventually go home to their Dad and spend the rest of the year working in the fields while doing a year of school. They would search for some trial to complete to show Nalin they were worthy of being his apprentice. Then, after their eighteenth reaping they would pack everything up to move in with Nalin, Kalei moving closer to join them and they would finally get to live the life they wanted. It was a simple idea but would require all 365 days of the year to perfect. But it would be worth every lost friendship, relationship, and every weird look to have. To finally live.

Kunal went with Kalei to check in, not even flinching at the blood being drawn and waiting for their friend to go stand on the male side together. Still oblivious. Misguided.

With not a single idea the journey they were about to be sent on.

Not a single idea of the plans that Fate would have for them.

Not a single idea how different things were going to end.

And without that special bone carving that they'd put their soul into.

Just Kunal against a pool of twenty-three others just as capable, just as deserving, just as human.

All of them with something on the line.

All of them with spirits just like their own.

And Kunal was going into it just as they went into life many times before.

Alone.

~.~.

A/N: And that's the last of the eight "featured" tributes! I just was Done writing intros by the end so I'm gonna guess that opinions are gonna be skewed and I'm gonna have a lot of work to catch up in the pre-Games.

I'm just glad I got done with intros before getting married. Woo hoo! This is also my last update as a bachelorette, and in a few days I will be a wife… Yay!

Check the blog for the updated Tribute list and I'll probably post the drawings too since those are gonna be done soon too. Woo hoo again lol.

Next chapter: I don't know! I'll plan it later!