Katinki graciously edited this story


Chapter 26

For the next several days, all I do is replay what happened at Rosalie's house.

And… as it always seems to be the case with me, at least recently, there are more questions than answers.

The good news is that, apparently, I've discovered my "portal." It's neither the Opera house nor the opera itself. It's a specific aria from that opera… and something else.

I'd heard this Aria multiple times before the night at the Seattle Opera, and nothing happened. So, probably, there's another element that makes the portal active. It must be the combination of the music and… what?

Aro's words flash in my mind. How did he put it? "Ask yourself, what truly served as the vessel. Have you ever entertained the notion that it might have been something you did?"

What did I do this time? Or the first time? What's the common denominator in my behavior?

Well, it's simple. I didn't do anything.

The first time, I just sat there, imagining myself in place of the heroine and obsessing over my breakup with James. The second time, I sat at the piano and enjoyed the heck out of my music session with Rosalie.

So, maybe the answer is "I felt strong emotions." The Aria itself definitely triggered those, but maybe it was my added emotional experience that transformed it into something else.

The more I think about it… I wasn't just listening to the Aria. Both times, I was living it—absorbing its essence and throwing myself into its world.

Yes, probably that's it. One might say I was in a trance of sorts. The problem is, if I want to start experimenting with it, I might not be able to get into this state on command, or even at all.

That's not the only problem, though. The bigger question is, if I do manage to get into this state and open the portal, where will it take me? Back home? To another place and time? To another planet?! I had no control whatsoever during my first and only time travel. It's only logical to assume that the next time won't be any different.

It's funny that I only think about that now… I mean, what did I expect? That there would be a menu?

Press 1 for Home, or 2 for More Options?

If only it were that easy.

One thing is clear: this should be my last resort until I know more about the portal. Nothing short of dying should be a good enough reason to try it. I did the right thing when I stopped playing last night at Rosalie's. I'm not ready to be thrown in a random direction in time and space.

It's not perfect here, but I have things to lose. Important things.

Then, it hits me.

Even with this newly discovered possibility of going home, I suddenly realize that I am not leaving Edward here alone under any circumstances. Yes, this is not my world, and my life here as a human will be hard, but as long as he wants me with him, I will stay.

I mean, how could I possibly leave? It would be like trying to walk away without a limb—or, at the risk of sounding melodramatic, without a heart. My therapist would probably say this isn't exactly a healthy behavior, but it is what it is.

What if I were to make it back to my world, only to discover that Edward is not a part of it? Could I go on living a happy life, knowing that I left the love of my life behind by choice?

It's a laughable question, really.

A week after Edward's departure, a letter from Angela arrives. I'd written her a few times, but this is the first time she has written back. I let out a sigh and smile as I read her words. She seems to be doing better. She writes that her mind's been filled with a multitude of daily tasks, such as taking care of her children and spending time with some distant cousins visiting from the North. Apparently, one of her cousins, Eric, is very good with Angela's boys and keeps them occupied most of the time. I'm relieved that Angela has such a great support system. Maybe in time, she'll find some semblance of happiness because if anyone deserves it, it's her.

Alistair has finally given in to his wife's nagging, although she calls it "a most delicate coaxing"—well, I don't know about that, sometimes Maggie has the delicacy of a plow truck when she believes that it's all for a good cause. He's now making the rounds to secure his Party's nomination for the next elections. I'm quite surprised that he looks like he's enjoying it, too. He's been out and about a lot more and has lost quite a few pounds. As an aside, it's really annoying how easily men lose weight by doing just the bare minimum. Sometimes, his new friends from the Party come to the house for a "gathering." Those days, I prefer to stay in my room—those guys smoke their stinky cigars like crazy! All in all, Alistair seems content, and Maggie, too. I want to be like them when I grow up.

My days pass slowly, but I'm not idle.

Following Alistair's example, I decide to make myself useful. I finally finish that blanket I started crocheting ages ago. It's no masterpiece, but it's big, cozy, and perfect for covering up when I'm reading in the living room.

I learn the piano parts for Rosalie's songs well enough to play them by heart. I spend hours and hours at the pianoforte. There's no way I could ever reach Edward's level, but at least I know I've done everything I can. If my performance is still wanting, it won't be for lack of effort. Casta Diva gives me a lot of anxiety, but it's coming together nicely, too. I hum the melody as I play the accompaniment, remaining detached and ready to stop at any moment… and nothing happens. Which is a relief.

I even ask Mr. Woods, Maggie's art teacher, to give me some drawing lessons, and he agrees. My first assignment is a nature morte comprised of a glass of water and an orange. As I mentioned earlier, my sense of shape and perspective is non-existent, but I have all the time in the world and newfound patience, so there's hope yet.

Rosalie sends me a note with apologies that our next rehearsal has to be postponed because she's spending day and night at the theater.

There's no news from Edward, but I didn't think there would be. He's staying at different hotels, and spending a lot of time on the road, so even with their sleepless schedule, he probably wouldn't have time to write. Not to mention, I wouldn't know to what address to send him a reply.

I miss him, of course. Once, I even saw him in my dream. He was walking with me in the park or a forest but then someone called him, and he said that he would be right back. For some reason, I knew that he wasn't coming back... I didn't say anything, though. I just kept wandering in that forest, looking for him and calling out his name until I woke up.

Needless to say, I was grateful it was just a dream.

Which is why, when I wake up in the middle of the night and notice someone sitting on my windowsill, I decide that I'm dreaming of him again. That in this new dream, he's back from France early—which is a much better setup.

"Hi," I say, a drowsy grin slowly spreading across my face.

I hear a snort, and the next moment, Edward says in Aro's voice, "My apologies, carissima! I am extremely sorry to disappoint, but it is only me. Do you mind if I pay you a visit?"

XXX

I jolt awake, jumping in my bed. My heart thuds in my throat so hard I'm afraid I might throw up.

"What the fuck!" I whisper-scream.

Apparently, a tiny part of my brain still remembers vampire laws, ordering my body to keep quiet so I don't wake up the other humans in the house and turn them into potential targets.

Thankfully, Aro doesn't move closer. I pull the blanket to my chin and scoot to the furthest corner of the bed, all too aware that while I can't see anything, he can.

"That is quite an interesting vocabulary you have, my darling time traveler… But I presume, things change with time, and language changes with it as well," he says conversationally, as if we're in Maggie's living room, talking about the weather.

"My apologies, dear Sir, allow me to rephrase," I grumble. "What the actual fuck are you doing here, if I may so inquire?"

You can tell that I don't like being rudely awakened in the middle of the night, especially by the wrong vampire.

Aro lets out an eerie, musical laugh. "It is, I confess, rather extravagant of me. The trouble is I do not have much time. We are set to sail to the Continent in a few hours, and I wanted to bid you goodbye, my dear Bella. And since I saw in Edward's memory that this was your chosen method of… courtship, I thought, would it not be amusing to give you a fright in this manner?!"

I can't see his face, but there's obvious mischief in his voice. Aro is in a very good mood.

I facepalm and sigh. "Didn't you leave, like, two weeks ago?"

"We did, although not for Italy. Some urgent business in Scotland kept us there for a fortnight, but now it is finally time to depart," he says wistfully.

"Aro… How can I help you?" I'm suddenly worried. Hopefully, I didn't talk in my sleep, especially about the portal. That would be really bad.

"Oh, I am merely calling to check on you, knowing that our beloved Edward is away," he says lightly. "And, I admit, to inquire for the last time, whether you could tell me anything about that future of yours! Other than the fact that apparently, young educated women of your time curse like an adder?"

Since he's already woken me up? Fine, let's talk.

"Don't startle me, and you won't hear any cursing," I snap. "Why are we going back to this again? Why is it so important to you to know the future anyway? You seem awfully bored as you are. Imagine that you have nothing to look forward to or to be surprised by," I tell him.

"This is where you are mistaken, my child," Aro says with a smile in his voice. "Knowing would make me infinitely less bored. Merely consider this: with this knowledge, the rules of the game are bound to suddenly change. I will know, but the others will not—is that not absolutely delightful?"

"So, I was right not to trust you. You do plan to use the knowledge for your own agenda," I point out.

"First and foremost, you should never, under any circumstances, trust a vampire. Even your beloved Edward. In fact, you should have trusted him the least. Armed with the invaluable knowledge at your disposal, you might have secured a most advantageous arrangement for yourself, yet you did not. You left him to manage every detail, and he proceeded precisely as he saw fit." Aro shakes his head, making it obvious that I've seriously let him down. "I glimpsed in his mind what you had told him—that women in your time enjoy an equality of rights with men. Alas, I must inform you, I have seen no such conviction reflected in your conduct."

Ouch.

"What are you talking about? I knew nothing about vampires—that's why I let him handle things with you! And I trust Edward! Why wouldn't I? He's saved my life twice! He genuinely has my best interests at heart, he doesn't drink human blood, and he cares about humanity, while you can't even see why he bothers!"

"Ah, now I perceive the root of my supposed wrongdoing, as you see it," Aro says with amusement. "Very well, I am not human. We consume human blood just as you consume the meat of cattle. And as for your unwavering trust in Edward, I regret to disappoint you, but you know precious little of him. It would seem he does not trust you, for he has concealed a great deal from you."

"Concealed what?" I really don't like where this conversation is going.

Aro shifts on the windowsill, but I still can't see his face, only the outline of his figure.

"Haven't you ever wondered why we discussed the implications of you breaking vampire law, and not Edward?" he asks.

I consider his question for a moment. "I always thought that you talked about it without me and decided that because you liked Edward, or rather, because he was your pet project, you chose to spare him."

Aro chuckles. "You cannot survive millennia as a ruler if you practice favoritism in this manner. My darling Bella, we have never discussed Edward's punishment because he wants to die all the same. After your death. I cannot punish by death someone who is asking for it as a favor!" he says with frustration.

I freeze, refusing to believe my ears.

"He wants what? Why?"

"Does this revelation come as a great surprise to you? And you perhaps thought that you had shared your most intimate thoughts with him. Very well, I shall tell you why. I had sincerely hoped that Edward would reveal it himself, but he's chosen to keep you in the dark."

He pauses for a moment, giving me time to process what he's just said, but I can't. The pain is blinding, and I'm not ready for the next blow.

"I believe that you are aware that when humans are turned into vampires, their bodies undergo a colossal change, but after that, we stay the same for the entirety of our existence," he says. "With one notable exception."

A shiver runs down my back. I remember Rosalie saying something similar, only she never explained what she'd meant.

"This one last change happens when a vampire meets his mate. It is rare, valued, and irreplaceable. Once mated, vampires remain devoted to each other forever, never finding another if their mate is lost. It is a bond that goes beyond romantic affection. This connection becomes central to our very existence, surpassing all other attachments." Aro is silent for a moment. "Edward believes that you are his mate, Bella. And after having studied his mind, I believe that he is not mistaken."

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Is Aro lying? What the fuck is this?! If it's true, how could Edward NOT tell me?!

"How do I know that you are not trying to manipulate us again?" I demand.

Aro doesn't condescend to offer me an answer.

"Okay, suppose you're telling the truth. What happens when a mate dies?" I try to soften my voice. Aro owes me nothing, after all. He's here to play his own game, but I won't have a better opportunity to ask my questions.

"When a mate dies, the survivor suffers a devastating impact. Losing a mate inevitably drives a vampire into despair, making them feel like their purpose is lost forever. They become apathetic and detached… Edward's desire to end his existence after his mate is gone is perfectly understandable. He is all too well acquainted with my brother Marcus who suffered this fate." Aro sighs. "I would not wish this on anyone."

My head reels. "So, what was your deal with Edward? The one you struck after the Schubert concert?" I ask. "Did you just decide, okay let her live her human life, and we'll kill you afterward? Is this like a delayed execution?"

I can't believe this is happening.

Aro laughs quietly. "Are you not listening, bellissima? There are two debts—Edward's and your own. Edward shall settle his by forfeiting his life. My brothers argued that this was hardly equitable, given his willingness. Yet in the end, we agreed that we owe Carlisle a favor and wished not to inflict unnecessary suffering upon another member of his family."

Aro moves as if he's about to jump down from the windowsill and get closer to me but then thinks better of it.

"You see, when Rosalie returned from Volterra to England in a delicate condition, Carlisle was livid. Oh, the words he threw in my face… But what was I to do, other than ensure that the fool who'd dared to dishonor her right under my nose became the main course at dinner?!" He gestures dramatically, his hands flung into the air. "I am wholly unsuited to the task of safeguarding young and headstrong human girls… But I digress. Let us return to your debt."

I blink. "Yes?"

"As for your debt, shall we say… Edward presented me with an offer I could not resist."

Bile rises in my throat as I wait for him to continue, but he's stretching the pause like an A-list actor, so I finally have to ask, "What offer?"

"Upon your death, he will serve in the Guard for 100 years. After that, he will meet his end," he says.

I stare at him, dumbfounded. "Are you planning to torture him for a hundred years before finally killing him?!" I almost shout but catch myself. "If losing a mate is as devastating as you say, he wouldn't exactly make an effective guard member," I add more calmly.

"So, you are not entirely obtuse, my dear child. Edward will hardly prove to be the most engaging of companions, of that I am certain. Yet, in his new condition, I daresay he shall be more inclined to act with a certain ruthlessness… which, in my view, is a marked improvement. When hope perishes, mortals and vampires alike grow less steadfast in their convictions… more pliant, if you will." His voice is so soft.

Don't react. Don't let him see he's getting under your skin. Don't let him know you're about to throw up, I tell myself. It's a struggle, but somehow, I manage to hold back the part of me that's ready to explode and say evenly, "I admit, this is a great plan. You win regardless."

Aro theatrically bows to my compliment, his dark silhouette now sharply outlined against the moonlit window.

"The agreement shall not come into effect until a year has passed since the Schubert concert. Edward still has nearly a year to turn you and thus avoid any repercussions." Aro sighs. "Do you not realize that I am, in fact, trying to help you both?"

"No shit," I mumble. Aloud I say, "I see it clearly now, Sir." Keeping sarcasm out of my voice has never been harder.

"That is exactly my purpose!" he exclaims. "Or rather, one of them. You are in need of a gentle nudge, my dear girl. Perhaps this shall provide just the encouragement you require. And remember, should you find a way to return to the future, we shall meet again! Seattle, I believe you called the town where you reside? And in America, no less? So far away, but I am pleased to hear you have invented swifter modes of travel. My kind can travel quickly, but we prefer doing so in comfort." He turns his head toward the window and the moon, and I catch a glimmer of pure mirth on his face.

Oh yes, he's going to have his fun anyway.

It's just a matter of time.

"Until we meet again, Bella," he says, and before I can say anything else, disappears into the night.

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Notes:

I'll be traveling overseas for the next two weeks, and then it's Christmas break, so I'll likely see you all at the start of January! I'm so thankful for your ongoing support and wonderful reviews as we head toward some dramatic (and hopefully exciting) moments in the story. Sending warm holiday wishes, and see you soon!