"Trick or treat, Grams!"
The cheerful chirrup of Hitoshi and Izuku had Hizashi smiling down at the boys in their costumes. Holding their pillow cases up as his smiling mother who gasped well naturedly at the boys. A sparkle to her brown eyes as she held the candy bowl in her arms. His legs, his feet, ached like nothing else after walking around about what he had to guess to be four or five neighborhood streets for the past two hours when his mother spoke. "Well, if those aren't the two cutest heroes I've ever seen! What ever can I do for you two?"
"Candy! Please!" He couldn't help but chuckle at how quickly Hitoshi corrected himself from sounding overly rude but both boys swayed on their feet before bouncing up onto toes with bags being held higher. Heavy from the amount in them, he couldn't help but chuckle again when Izuku let go of one side to rub his eye briefly before lifting his up higher in his small hands. "Grams, candy, please! We said trick or treat, right, Dad?"
"Oh, don't get so worked up about it, bud! Here, let Grams see what she has for you, yeah?" Wide eyes flicked up to him with pale dustings of blue under eyes from their exhaustion of the night. They didn't go to bed ridiculously long but they'd both had been up early with the insistence on wearing their costumes to school. Something that he knew for fact was allowed but they had to be exhausted. Eyes then flicked back to his mother with wide eyes at the full size candy bars she held in her hands. "Here you go!"
"Oh, Ma, you don't gotta spoil them every time you see them, you know!" His mother swatted at his shoulder at his playfully groaned words when his other mother appeared behind her with glasses slipping down her nose. Smiling down at the wide eyed boys who bounced on their toes when the large bars were slipped into their bags and he sighed with that same playfulness. He then slid his hands over indigo locks and green curls. "Why don't we go in and visit with Grams and Grandma for a bit before we go home?"
"You mean 'let's go inside so Daddy can go through your candy and pick what he wants' don't you?" The door was widened further with boy boys holding their bags closer with that suspicious look too them before running into the house when his mother grinned widely at him. A sparkle to those brown eyes when she reached out with arms spread as he stepped into the hug that squeezed him tightly. A good, strong hug that he returned without a second thought with a quiet grunt leaving his mother before pulling away.
"I mean, I was going to check their candy when we got home because they'll be out like a light in the car when I get home. Do you know how hard it is to get the door open without cats running out while carrying two six year old boys inside? The last thing they need is to devour candy here and go on a sugar high for the next two hours!" His mother merely clicked her tony at him when she reached up to tug at his witch hat he wore when he stepped into the front hallway where the boys were digging about their bags already.
"It's good to see you again so soon, Zashi! I feel you and those boys change every time I see you!" The door snapped shut behind them when he stepped forward to accept a hug from Kimiko who held her arms out. Curling into her hold, he received another of those tight, hard hugs that had him humming. The familiar scents of her coconut shampoo had him inhaling the scent with that senses of nostalgia when he pulled back. "I'm guessing that it's going to be a late dinner night for the three of you, huh?"
"Oh, absolutely! I plan on ordering a few pizzas tonight and letting that be it! I know it's not good to go for pizza twice now in two weeks but there's no way I'm cooking and making a mess for myself!" He loved the wicked grin on his mother's face when he was coaxed down the hall with his other mother, Yuki, entering the living room with the boys who chattered amongst themselves. "How are you doing, Mom? I know I was just here not even a handful of weeks ago but still. Polite conversation and all that."
"What a polite boy I raised, huh?" She playfully tugged on his hat much like his other mother had when he chuckled before walking into the kitchen where he tugged the chair out before sitting down. And God, it felt so good to finally get off of his feet. When he'd gone for 'witchy boots' approved by Nemuri, he didn't think the heels would kill his feet and legs like this. His mother sat opposite to him with a smile when she poked to his booted feet. "I bet your feet are killing you by now, huh?"
"Don't talk about it! I'm gonna feel it for days!" He couldn't help the groan to his voice when he leaned forward into a half slumped position on the table with his head resting on his arms when hsi mother grinned wickedly at him with her hand coming up to rest beneath her chin. Dark blue eyes glittering at him when he sighed out. "I don't know how you and Ma walked streets in heels. At least I can go home, eat some pizza, and have some wine while the boys sleep. Maybe a foot soak."
A chuckle left his mother with that bemused smile on her lips when he found a full a snickers being slid over the table to him to which he raised his brows. He'd been planning his own outfit for quite a bit with Nemuri going above and beyond to help him put together a simplistic witch outfit for the night. The boots were pinching his toes together agonizingly but he'd be getting them off. "You'll need it. Boots like that are hell on your feet. Tell me, what in the world made you wear those instead of your regular boots?"
"Aesthetic, Mom. Aesthetic." He sighed out when he began to tear into the Snickers and lifting it up to take a bite out of it with sigh through his nose. He could hear the boys chattering excitedly from the living room with his mother as he chewed his mouthful before swallowing when his mother chuckled at him again. "God, I wish I'd thought this through but it'll be fine! I just got a drive to make then I can soak my feet if need be. God, I never thought I'd look forward to wine and pizza like I do now."
"Well, that's what me and your mother used to do after taking you all out trick or treating! We'd either have dinner ready to heat up or we'd order out then, when we were in our bedroom, we'd break out the wine and devour whatever left over candy we had!" Chuckling now at his mother, he took another bite of his candy when the woman's hand shifted to cup her cheek rather than support her chin. "In fact, once you and the boys go home we'll be drinking wine tonight. Think of it as a coming of age adult thing."
"Oh, but of course! Pizza, wine, foot soaks and candy are just the marks of adulthood, huh?" He mumbled around his mouthful when his mother swatted at him with her free hand with a laugh bursting out of the brunette when he grinned before swallowing. He didn't regret a thing. Maybe the boots but seeing his children's faces light up with the compliments? The way they were so proud saying trick or treat? It was adorable! "So, I noticed you didn't answer my question. How are you doing, Mom?"
The brunette sighed out then when she tucked her hair behind her ear before shifting in her seat slightly. "I'm doing alright, Zashi. Your mother is doing alright too. I think work has just been taking it out of the both of us lately but other than that we're very much content. In fact, we've both taken up painting in our free time! But what about you? I know last time you were here you were talking about what's his name? Sh-Shouta, was it? And you were worried about coming out to your friends?"
"Of course Ma told you that bit." He played with the wrapper of his candy with his ankles rocking idly beneath the table to soothe the ache damn near throbbing in his feet when he glanced up at his mother. "And I'm fine. I'm doing alright, Mom, but I won't deny I've been a bit worried about the Shouta thing but I'm keeping myself busy! The kids seem to like him and as for the coming out as trans thing, I'm planning it out. Maybe pamphlets and everything! I can make some for you guys if people ever ask about your 'eldest daughter'."
A sparkle formed in those dark blue eyes as the boys shouted out with delight in the living room and the laugh of his other mother's voice drifted from the living room when Kimiko beamed. Absolutely overjoyed it seemed when she reached out to touch the back of his hand. "If you could make them I would absolutely adore them! It'd save me the time of explaining we have no eldest daughter but rather that our eldest is a boy. I'd really appreciate that like you wouldn't believe, darling!"
"Good, then I'll get on designing some pamphlets for you guys that I can mail to you if that's alright? I love you guys, I do, but I don't think I have much time driving forty minutes here and back, you know?" He got a hum from his mother when he offered her the half eaten Snickers which she took with a hum as she bit into it. "However, I do want you both, Aimi and her partner, Hana and her husband, and Haru along with his partner along with their children, of course, to come over for dinner."
His mother chewed quickly with her fingers pressed to her lips with that sparkle glowing in her gaze. She took a moment before swallowing when she dropped her fingers and licked her lips with a smile curling over them. "That would be absolutely lovely, darling, and I'd love nothing more than to drag your mother out after dressing her up! And I'm sure your sisters and brother wouldn't mind coming! They always tell me they want the boys to play with their cousins more often, you know!"
"And I'm sure the boys adore seeing their cousins from time to time! I just thought a whole family thing would be nice, you know?" His mother nodded at him when she snapped into her Snickers with the rest of the candy being held out to him which he took back. "I feel like we only ever get together for Christmas, you know? We all live relatively close together so it's not like we gotta worry about packing everything up and meeting at someone's house, you know? We could always do it here too! I can cook here if you want?"
Popping the rest of the bar into his mouth, his mother chewed quickly and swallowed her mouthful. She stood up then before walking over to the cabinets to open up and grab two glasses down. She then walked over to the fridge to grab the milk within before shutting the fridge door and walking over to the table. "I think, if you wanted too, you could absolutely come here and we could cook together. Only if you'd like too! I haven't cooked with you in ages, Zashi, and I'd love to see what you've picked up!"
Swallowing his candy along with a yawn, he accepted half a glass of milk from his mother that he lifted up. And he quickly drained it to clear his mouth and throat of that audible stick sensation before lowering his glass with a sigh as he rubbed at his mouth then at his upper lip over his damp mustache. Then he smiled at his mother who sipped at her own milk with dark blue eyes locking onto him over the rim of her glass. "I have no problem with coming over here to cook with you! If anything the boys would love coming over here."
Lowering her glass once it was also drained, she sighed out as she rubbed at her mouth before glancing at the clock to which he also looked over at the glowing red numbers. Eight-thirty five. He'd have to place the order now and drive quickly as he could to beat them there. He shifted before pulling his phone out of his dress pocket when hsi mother sighed out. "I suppose the three of you will have to head out, won't you?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean we can't come back again at another date! Or you can come to mine for once, you know. See the house? You haven't been over in a while and I can assure you it's very different from the last time you've both seen it." He tapped on the Domino's app when his mother hummed as he quickly repeated the order from a few weeks ago with a hum before putting his phone down and he smiled at his mother. "But I love you, Mom, seriously and I'd love for you to visit me."
"We will! I love you too, darling, you know that, right?" He nodded when his mother leaned forward in her seat as he stood before she stood after him. Hands came up to touch his cheeks before kissing his left one and he smiled softly when he returned that kiss. His mother's skin, despite wrinkling subtly, was still softer than anything. He inhaled that coconut scent clinging to her hair before stepping back. "Don't forget to take pictures in the morning! I'm sure those boys will be fiends with their candy!"
"Bold of you to assume they were keeping it tonight." His mother grinned with him when he then turned to begin walking across the kitchen with his mother following after when he made his way down the hallway to the living room. Finding Izuku's eyes shutting as he leaned against Hitoshi with their bags of candy held in slackening hands. Tired. He was glad dinner would be a fast event tonight but both boys jerked awake at the sight of him. "C'mon, guys, we're gonna head home, okay?"
"Do we have too?" Hitoshi whined while Izuku lifted his hands up to rub at his eyes fiercely. He could see how tired both boys were after their night of walking; two full hours on their feet would do it to anyone. His feet ached. His back was aching. He wants nothing more than to bring them home to which he nodded at his son. The indigo-haired boy sighed before sliding off the couch with his sack and Izuku slid off with him before waddling over to him. He could imagine their feet hurt too. "Can we get somethin' to eat?"
"I ordered pizza so we gotta go now, okay? Ma, I love you, and I appreciate you letting us visit even if it was a short bit." His mother smiled with that fond sparkle to her gaze when hands slid over green and indigo locks. He pulled his car keys out of his pocket with his phone chiming with an update on the order before slipping it into his pocket. His mother then stood and walked over to kiss at his cheek much like his other mother, Kimiko, had done seconds ago with small hands grabbing at him.
"I love you too, Zashi! And please, let's make a proper visit sometime soon, yeah? I love you, Toshi and Izu! You both be good for your father and hand over your candy for him to go through, okay?" Heads bobbed against his hips then with Izuku nuzzling his face into his with a hand holding onto the skirt of his loose dress. He reached down to smooth his hand over curls when he kissed his mother's cheek back and turned with the boys clinging to him. "Please, visit us soon, okay? Or we can visit you!"
"That'd be lovely, Ma. I'll call you in the morning, okay?" His mothers nodded when Kimiko rushed forward to get the door for him when he grunted under his breath. Pain sparking when the boys climbed onto his feet making his waddling walk all the more painful as he made his way to the front door. That shrieking pain almost had tears welling as he made his way over the threshold with brisk strides down the front walkway to his car parked on the street.
Halloween was a night he treasured for four years with Hitoshi. It was a new event this time with Izuku being in his car but both boys seemed to have fun tonight and that's all that mattered. He grunted again when the golden light of the house behind them lit his way to his car as he kept up his brisk strides. His toes shrieked with pain from the conjoined weight of his son's weights on them. They'd been aching something fierce when he got off of them, but this felt like agony. The purest kind of agony he'd never felt before.
He had never been afraid to put make up on or to slap a dress on. He was confident in himself enough to still find himself interested in a feminine appearance but tonight it felt like he had signed himself up for agony the second he took these boots from Nemuri. He pressed the button on his keypad causing the lights to flash as the doors unlocked in unison. He tugged open the back door when he reached down for Hitoshi to detach him from his hip. And God, he could cry from the weight and pain leaving his left foot.
And he helped the boy into the car where he crawled across the seat to his side behind the passenger seat. Setting his back of candy on the seat between his and Izuku's, a small hand reached up to turn the back light on. Then reaching for the seat belt to buckle himself in while he helped detach Izuku from his hip. And again, that rushing relief had him damn near whimpering when he helped heave the small green haired boy up into the car in his seat. Settling him into his seat with eyes blinking groggily at him.
Tugging the belt out and across the green haired boy's chest who held himself still. Sitting his bag down on the seat between them when he clicked the seatbelt into place. Clicking it into place, he reached over to help Hitoshi who was struggling with the buckle to which he gently took it from his hand and pushed it in. He smiled at the tired boys before reaching up to gently rub the back of his fingers against a pink cheek with Hitoshi humming at him before kissing at the top of Izuku's head before turning the light off.
He stepped back with his heels snapping against the ground as he shut the door and tugged open the driver's side. Turning to wave at his mothers who stood in the doorway and got a wave back before he gathered up the skirt of his costume before sliding into the seat with a sigh as he was taken off his feet again. He pulled his phone out when it pinged against his thigh as he shut the door with the soft yellow light of the front door cut off. He'd have to speed a bit, but he was sure when they pulled up that the pizzas would be on the doorstep.
Or he could text to have someone come over to get the pizzas. His phone pinged in his hand again when he cursed as he grabbed at his seat belt to tug across his chest then clicked it into the buckle. Yawns rang out behind him when he tapped on the first contact on his list only to find himself face to face with Shouta's contact. Fuck, did he want to bother the man? He wasn't handing out candy, that much he had told him weeks ago because he lived in an apartment. Not many trick or treaters for apartments.
Nemuri and Oboro had surely gone home after they told him there was plenty of candy for him to have when he got home. They had told him in advance that two hours of trick or treaters was the minimum as they were going out to a party tonight which he understood one hundred percent. He appreciated them handing out candy in his stead at the house which meant that right now they had to be gone. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard in an uncertain dance over the glowing screen when the boys whined shrilly behind him.
God, he hoped his mothers had ushered them to the bathroom while they had the chance. Two hours walking meant no bathroom breaks but he was more than sure they had. He'd know otherwise, wouldn't he? Peeking up in the dark rearview mirror, he shifted to hold his phone with his right hand while he crammed the keys into the ignition and twisted. The boys jumped at the sudden, quiet rumble of the car kicking to life when he then took a slow, deep breath. He could compensate Shouta, couldn't he?
After all, he was sure that the man wouldn't say no to pizza, would he? But what about Eri? He'd have to take the pack and play out for her to nap or possibly sleep in. Would it be rude to ask him to pick up pizzas just for him and the boys? It'd be awful but what about his foot soak? He didn't want to be rude to Shouta. Would he take the pizza and wine option? But he couldn't for Shouta would need to drive home. Would he stay until he sobered up? Did he want to stay up late tonight while Shouta sobered up?
His knees bounced uncertainly as the dashboard with its soft lights glowed up at him like his phone screen. It couldn't hurt to ask, could it? If Shouta told him to fuck off, then he'd take that answer for what it was. Bouncing on his knees, he quickly forced his thumbs to type out the text explaining his situation. That he was forty minutes away, but he had pizza coming. Explaining where his false key was, that the pack and play was in the living room, and that he'd be home soon. That he could help himself to the food if he so desired.
He sent the mini paragraph when he caught another yawn from the back. He shoved his phone into the holder he had on the dashboard with a huff before settling into his seat as he placed his hand on the wheel while tugging at the shift. Pulling the car out of the spot he'd been carefully wedged into before putting the car into drive as the boys yawned in unison behind him again when he looked in the rearview, taking a moment to adjust it before he was confident taking off. He sighed out to himself before it transformed into a yawn in his throat.
On the sidewalks there were a few straggler groups of toddling babies and older kids with bands of glowsticks wrapped around them with parents no doubt ushering them home. He sighed out softly as he settled into the familiarity of navigating the street that he used to play on. Turning his headlights on to wash over the road before them when there was a few more yawns from behind him followed by the sight of his son's hand sneaking into his candy bag. A quiet rustling that had him smiling at the the boys.
Watching as Hitoshi pulled out two Reese's Cups before handing the drowsy Izuku one which the green-haired boy perked up at. He looked away back to the road with a grin curling over his lips at the quiet crinkles behind him as the boys tried their best to remain quiet as they opened them. Then his phone pinged with a response from Shouta. he sighed out at how receptive the black-haired man was with the promise of heading over now to wait for the pizzas for him. At least they didn't have to sit out all night.
He'd have to really repay Shouta somehow. He'd have to do something good to repay the black-haired man for doing something like this for him. He hummed quietly softly when he then shifted slightly as he settled into his seat with a soft sigh leaving him. At least he had something to look forward too when he got home. He was ready for bed but he wanted to destress. To get the boys in bed. All he had to do was focus on getting home where his wine, his food, and bedtimes would be arranged. He just had to get home.
"I appreciate you having done this so much, you are actually the best."
"You know, if you say it enough, I might just believe it."
"You're the best, Shouta!"
Dark eyes sparkled at him when he shut the empty box before setting it down to lean against the bottom cabinets. Then he opened the top of the half-eaten second pizza of theirs when he sighed out. Shouta, in all of his glory, had indeed brought the pizzas in for them and he knew he had more than enough to make up for. Especially asking him to come out on Halloween. A holiday was a holiday after all. However, the black-haired man merely smirked at him before rolling his shoulders. "Hey, at least I got a free meal out of it."
"True! Plus, Eri got her vanilla milk hot tonight! Is she out?" Shouta gained that thoughtful expression before turning to walk down the hallway quickly but quietly as he could with even footsteps. He couldn't help a snicker when the black-haired man peered into the living room before turning to walk down the hallway again with a nod. "Good! Do you want to go sit outside? I have a blanket we can sit on and chill out. I can grab the wine if you're down for that?"
"Pizza and wine? You sure know how to get into people's good graces, huh?" The playful tone of Shouta's, a quiet echo of his, had him smiling when he held the half-eaten pizza towards him which the black-haired man took from him. Smiling before making his way towards the dining room when he pushed off the counter to make his way across the kitchen. "I'll be waiting outside then. Don't forget a coat, Zashi, it's pretty nippy outside and you don't want to be cold, you know?"
Nodding at the black-haired man, he put a light pep to his step as he made his way around the fridge down the small hallway of his with his ponytail swaying against his back. He heard the back door creak open quietly then snap shot once Shouta walked through it. He wanted to insist it was useless to ask him to be warm. To avoid getting sick. He'd been walking around his old neighborhood for two hours in a thing dress with no sign of a coat so it was merely inevitable he could catch a cold. Same for Hitoshi and Izuku.
He'd have made them all wear coats if he knew it was going to be so nippy tonight. That just proved he couldn't be one hundred percent reliant on the news that promised a mild night tonight. Nothing too warm and nothing too cold his ass. God, he'd have to pump them with those chewable vitamins just to make sure they didn't get sick. He didn't know if he could take a round two of Izuku puking on his feet. It had him shuddering at the mere thought that he could possibly be that sick again. That his kids could be.
Fuck, he wished he'd taken coats with him just in case. Sighing to himself, he made his way down his hallway into his bedroom where his dress from his costume was bunched up on the floor. His hat on the dresser. He didn't understand it but the look he'd received from Shouta when he'd been wearing it? When he'd been fussing with his sleeves before going to change? It had him redder than anything when he caught his reflection. What had been in that gaze? Why couldn't he name it? Why didn't he know it off the top of his head?
It was a look from Shouta that was there and gone. A flicker. Tonight there was a tension in the air between them when he caught that look. A tension that was hardly the worst he'd felt but it weighed on him like an electric thrum beneath his skin. He made his way to his closet which he tugged open to grab at a thick dark cardigan of his. Something he hoped would be adequate enough to fight the chill outside as he shrugged it on. With his sweater beneath it surely he'd be kept warm, wouldn't he? He'd be fine.
He then squatted down to open his small liquor cabinet he kept there. Tugging the door open, he reached in for one of his sweeter wines from Nemuri. He tugged the bottle out then shut the little door before leaning over to scoop up the picnic blanket before standing up. His heart was fluttering. His stomach a mess. When he had pulled up in the driveway, the boys had been dozing off on him like he had predicted. Heads resting against the windows when he'd gotten them roused. Just enough to get out of the car.
Helping them when he opened the back door when they'd tugged groggily at their seatbelts. And once they were all out of the car, Shouta opened the door to reveal himself and Eri who, in his opinion, had worn the cutest butterfly costume ever! OH, he had crooned over the baby who seemed to adore the attention it got her. Terrified of bugs or not, he could appreciate a baby in a butterfly outfit. From there, he'd gotten the boys to hand over their candy bags and trudge upstairs to begin changing out of their costumes into pajamas.
This attempt being far more successful than the last time when they'd both gotten stuck due to masks and capes. They'd just barely made it through their dinner of two pizza slices before they were yawning again and rubbing at tired eyes. He had been more than happy to scoop up both boys that he balanced on his hips before heaving the three of them up the stairs. Both boys whining tiredly about showing Shouta their rocks which he promised they'd have another chance. It was a promise that soothed both six-year-old's.
One that had Hitoshi and Izuku giving in as he laid and tucked them in for the night. Kissing foreheads and rubbing his thumb affectionately against pink cheeks before making his way back downstairs. He'd been a mess standing in his aching boots when he'd excused himself to get changed in his bedroom. Once he was in a pair of joggers, a sweater, he'd come out with Eri reaching for him with a smile on her face. Adoring. The poor baby had looked exhausted too, but she seemed far more alert than Hitoshi and Izuku had.
He'd been more than delighted to sweep her around the house with her adorable little wings flapping limply when he bounced her. She had been absolutely enthralled by their game. He'd sworn she'd wake the boys up with her squeals and giggles but eventually Shouta was handing him her cup which he happily accepted from the man. After bouncing her idly to make those cute little antennae bounce with her wings, he had balanced her on his hip as he made the vanilla milk for the baby. Who, much to his delight, drained the cup quickly.
And once they had placed her in the pack and play with a small blanket to watch Bluey? Oh, she was out like a light. It was during this that he swore he noticed more and more there was something about Shouta tonight that made him curious. As if he were jumpier than normal. Antsy. Darting glances that had them making more eye contact than usual but he'd merely chalked it up to everyone being tired. To himself being fried after spending all day at work then walking around the streets of his old neighborhood for two solid hours.
Tonight had been utterly exhausting. He could only be thankful that, while they insisted on pillow cases, he'd gotten a few cute pictures of them. A few with their pumpkin baskets at least. And walking around his neighborhood, four to five streets worth, in those boots? They'd all but killed his damn feet from the pinch they'd been in. He was just happy that his boys were happy. Even groggy they'd been wanting to Shouta their rocks. He didn't see the boys becoming best friends with Shouta but it was nice.
He didn't mind if his sons held some wariness towards this new man of three months. It would take time. Just like they were wary around Taishiro; the boys would come to welcome these new friends of his. Hopefully. But since he'd come home? Well, all night long the black-haired man seemed to take most of the reigns when he noted the discomfort he tried to hide. God knows how he managed to carry not one but two six-year-old's up the stairs the way he had tonight. Perhaps it was pity when he saw them trudging towards the stairs.
Nearly tripping over their feet that had him sweeping in to carry them to bed. He didn't have a problem with letting Shouta take over certain tasks for the house while he got the boys into bed. In fact, it felt nice knowing someone was helping him out when his aching feet had him desperate to get off of them after spending two hours walking around. At least tonight had been the haul that his sons had been looking forward to. He just had to be glad that his mothers had decided to let them visit for even a few minutes.
When he'd gotten the boys dressed, he'd thought his dress was absolutely worth it. The boots. He wasn't afraid to wear a dress when he was confident in himself but being a witch while his boys were super heroes? Well, he couldn't deny that he wished he'd chosen something else for the night. Especially after experiencing the pain of those heeled boots Nemuri let him borrow. However, he couldn't change what was already done. His sons had a damn good night of trick or treating to leave them satisfied with their haul.
And despite the pain of his feet, he had fun walking around with them. Even if he had to deal with aching feet for the next few days. It was nothing a few feet soaks couldn't help. He wanted nothing more than to give them good memories going forward. Especially when he had the vague notions of what Izuku's life before his biological parents took off for America while leaving him behind. He still had not an idea how two adults could pack up and leave their son behind willingly to damn near rot in an empty home.
He felt bad when he so much as left his son alone when they were playing to go to the bathroom. He hated that big, wide eyed look to the boy before he left a room or when he'd trot after him. Or moments like when he'd vomited on his feet and had been a wailing mess. How could anyone leave their son alone like that? It didn't matter. They might never get those answers but that was more than fine. For if Izuku continued to adore his brother? If he continued to call him Dad with that chirruping tone with arms stretched out for him?
Well, they'll be just fine. And if letting him gorge on some candy tomorrow also made him happy then he'd let both boys do that. There was nothing he wanted than to make sure that both of his boys were happy. And he swore, the delight of watching them walk up to doors and chirrup that sweet 'trick or treat!' before walking back to him with pride? It was utterly adorable. He'd thought walking with two kids would be a handful, but it turned out not to be. All in all, he'd dare to say that this Halloween had been a damn good one.
He'd gone out of his way to make sure it was the happiest night for them, and it seemed to have worked. They were tired out by the end of it, but God knows they had enough candy to last them until late November if he spaced it out properly. The last thing he'd do was let them gorge on it save for the day after. The rest of it would be put into baggies and dished out appropriately as they did with all candy. It was the one thing he had a stern approach to. Just like his mothers', he believed in moderation.
And so, he didn't want his sons overeating and filling up on sweets. It wasn't right but he was always lenient for Hitoshi the day after Halloween which meant he would be lenient with Izuku. He was just glad he was feeding and helping to host that love for Halloween within them. He swore he'd never seen them more excited than they were tonight. Hell, he had been excited when he'd gotten dressed up in his witch outfit and had the boots on. Before the all too familiar fatigue, hunger, and pain got to them all.
He was happy to foster the love for Halloween anyway that he possibly could for the boys and tonight clearly had them happy. Tired but happy from what he'd seen upstairs. Holidays were something he intended to make absolutely stellar for Izuku. After all, he had not a clue what the boys home life was like for his first five years of life. He had no clue what he went through or if he went through anything according to Mitsuki who said he was happy. Either way, he intended to make holidays something good this year.
Straightening up out of his squatted position to step back out of the closet then used his right hand to gently shut the doors as he cradled the blanket and wine. After adjusting his hold on the blanket and wine, he turned to make his way to his bedroom doors. The muted thuds of his socked feet over the carpeted floors was a comforting sound. The quiet sound of the wine sloshing in the bottle quietly with his past as he flew out of his bedroom into his small hallway. Making quick strides to fly into the kitchen once again.
Save for the murmur of Bluey playing in the living room it was painfully quiet in the house. His footsteps seeming to amplify in their thuds with that silence. He walked over to the counter to open up the cabinet in front of him then reaching up for the wine glasses. Grabbing two, he shut the cabinet door when he placed the blanket and wine down on the counter carefully. Taking a breath, he turned the water on then ran the glasses under them to rid them under the water. Ridding them of dust or stray cat hairs.
The last thing he wanted was to sip his wine and find cat hairs inside. Glancing out the window into the backyard, the porch lights damn near left Shouta invisible. He felt that all too familiar flutter to his stomach when he let his gaze drop. Surely, if he couldn't see Shouta then Shouta could see him, couldn't he? He was a damn mess tonight, wasn't he? He'd been all too keyed up at the sight of the black-haired man when they'd gotten out of the car. Adoring the sight of the man waiting for them with the baby settled on his hip.
It had been nice. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so happy to come home to another adult in his home. A friend waiting for him with the intent on helping him wind down for the night even if it was to accept a few pizza's. He turned the water off then snagged a few paper towels to dry the glasses off before tossing them away. Turning on his feet, he rushed over to the wall where he shut the kitchen light off. Turning back to the counter, his heart skipped at the sight of Shouta swaying in the swing.
Much too heavy for it but the man was being careful. He scooped up the blanket and the wine with the glasses being held by his right hand when he shuffled across the kitchen to the small dining room. Reaching out with his left, he tugged the door open and stepped out onto the back porch where a few crickets chirped in vain. Soon enough there'd be no insects. Soon enough it would be too cold for the parks. He'd better start thinking ahead of what to do to keep his sons busy inside that would be fun for them.
Something they could do rather than spending every waking moment in the snow. He often got chapped and his fingers broke open with small cuts leaving him to be ultra-religious in his skin care. He wouldn't last if he spent every second outside in the snow. He smiled sheepishly at the black-haired man who jumped off the swing before rushing over towards him. Feet crunching in the dying grass, he handed the glasses to the black-haired man. The delicate glass catching and winking in the soft yellow porch light.
He then happily followed him forward with his socked feet crunching over the grass. Blades sticking at his feet through the fabric to which he winced, but he handed the bottle of wine over to Shouta who accepted it. He then unfolded the blanket before spreading it out over the grass. Then he dropped down onto the ground carefully but he couldn't help a sigh as his feet shrieked with relief. Grateful to be off of the sore things again was like a damn gift. Even if there was no pain, they ached like nothing else tonight.
Tonight might definitely a bath night. Leaning back on his hands, Shouta sat down next to him with the pizza box flipped open. The soft golden light of his porch lights stretching out just enough to light them up faintly when Shouta handed him a glass which he lifted off of a hand to take. Working the seal off before twisting the cap, the black-haired man poured the deep red liquid into their glasses halfway before twisting the cap back on. Shifting to place it behind them onto the grass where it balanced precariously.
Lifting his glass up, he sighed through his nose when he took his sip as the sweet the taste of it spread over his tongue. Swallowing, he pressed his glass to his thigh with a hum as he crossed his feet carefully before turning his head to find those dark eyes on him. It was damn near enough to get his heart jumping in his throat wildly at the sight of them. Just barely catching the soft lighting of the porch with light points of light reflecting in dark eyes. There was a soft smile to Shouta's full lips when he looked away.
Shouta raised his glass up as he took a sip at it. He tore his gaze away from that dark curl brushing his cheek. Trying to ignore the way it had his fingers twitching with the desire to tuck it behind Shouta's ear. The same way the black-haired man had tucked his hair behind his ear twice now. Lifting his own glass up for another sip, he couldn't help the slight disappointment when Shouta tucked his hair behind his ears. Disappointment? Why? He swallowed against the emotion fluttering in his chest when he sat upright.
The black-haired man reached forward to snag a piece of pizza from the box. Snickering, he reached in for a piece himself and bit down onto it. It was too much food in one night, but he was more than happy to indulge in a few pieces. There'd be left overs, that's for sure. Taking his time to chew and swallow, he took a bigger bite when he felt the light touch of a shoulder against his. It had him jumping when he glanced over to find Shouta sitting closer. Shifting closer to him when he jerked away then.
The black-haired man mumbled around his mouthful with an apology before leaning away with spots of color forming on his cheeks. He felt heat gathering in the back of his own neck when he nodded before focusing on eating. Quiet save for the quiet sound of chewing, breathing, and the crickets chirping around them. Unseen. Dying out. A breeze fluttered over them, tugging at his hair, he tucked the locks behind his ears before tugging his cardigan together with the thick fabric working with his sweater to keep him warm.
Devouring his piece quickly, he began nibbling at the crust with it's overwhelming garlic flavor. It's what made it damn good. He picked at it before placing it in the box when he lifted his glass up to take another sip. Washing down the taste of the pizza with its sweetness when he noted Shouta finishing off his piece next to him as he made quick work on the crust. The quiet crunch was deafening in the quiet when he swirled his wine idly. Shouta really was a great friend. A dear, treasured friend. That's what he was, wasn't it?
And yet he felt like he was pulling the wool over his own eyes. Refusing to see what he didn't want to see. He wanted Shouta to be his friend. His best friend. After three months, he could say they were best friends by this point, couldn't he? He adored Shouta as he adored Nemuri and Oboro. And yet there was something to Shouta that refused to unravel for him. Something to their dynamic was throwing him off. And he couldn't wrap his head around it. Understand it. Why did it feel like flirting half of the time?
Was it just playfulness? Was he wrong? Is it just that he hadn't had such playfulness from a man other than Oboro that he wasn't used to it? Tensei wasn't exactly the most playful man to talk too but was this what it boiled down too? That Shouta was the first man to treat him with even a bit of playfulness? Someone being playful that wasn't Oboro? It had him shifting slightly when he sighed out through his nose when his hair hung down his back. A heavy curtain that had him feeling weighed down much like the thick cardigan.
He was overcomplicating. And yet sitting here, side by side, as they sipped wine? It felt more romantic in a subtle manner than anything they'd done so far. Just like that night when he'd thrown that dinner party for himself and his friends. Letting out a breath with a tremble to it, he lifted his glass up to sip at the sweet wine when he glanced out of the corner of his eye. Peeking at Shouta curiously when the black-haired man shifted beside him with a quiet sigh of his own. Gawking shamelessly at the man.
Lowering his glass, his lips were stained with a light red from the wine. Licking it away. A dribble ran down his chin which was swiped and rubbed away. Tearing his gaze away, he swallowed hard the mouthful he had before lowering his glass. It was quiet. Unbearably quiet. He let out a slow breath when he raised his glass up to drain the remaining dregs of it. He then placed his cup down where it inevitably teetered over to hit the side of the pizza box. What was wrong with him? Did he have a crush?
A mini, itsy bitsy, tiny crush on the man beside him? Could he admit that much to himself? Can he just be honest? Or would he tug that wool over his eyes in the morning after playing with the idea of it? He didn't know. He didn't feel like he had a crush, but his world was being eaten up by this man. By one, silly little man who was more awkward than he was. Unwilling to break the silence between them when he let his head fall back to stare upwards. As if the faint stars peeking out could give him a damn answer.
Tell him the answers that were laid out so clearly that he couldn't see yet. Was he crushing? Or was he just put off because Shouta was the first male friend he made since Oboro and Tensei? But he had other male friends. He had Taishiro, he had his ex-boyfriends who stayed in loose contact with him. He had that fling with Tsunagu last year who was a somewhat close friend as well. There was no explanation as to why Shouta should or could be different to him. Maybe he had to put himself out there finally.
He'd long since begun confidently living again. He wasn't drowning like he had been back in early to mid August. His store was doing well. The boys were out of the house half the time visiting friends. He had his weekly meet up with the other mothers for coffee where they relaxed while the children were playing on the park structures. He had more than enough time on his hands. He could try his hand at dating, couldn't he? After all, he wasn't really meeting anyone new outside of Shouta, now, was he?
It was normal to fixate on someone new, wasn't it? He could feel Shouta shifting slightly beside him when he let his eyes flutter shut with a slow exhale. He didn't have a crush, did he? Or was he just ignoring the elephant in the room? He had not a clue, but he had time to figure it out, didn't he? He was still young. He could take this one step at a time. After all, how could he let anything happen when he wasn't sure that he had a crush? A light breeze fluttered over them, tugging at his hair playfully with the lazy breeze.
He let his head drop back as he leaned back on his hand. Here he was, acting the fool. Thinking about Shouta when he had Shouta right next to him. But was it so bad to figure everything? To try and piece together what he wanted while the man was right here? Both existing in the silence together. Both vibing while remaining alone in their thoughts. If there was anything he planned on doing, it was sitting down to figure out everything. To pick himself apart. To understand his friendship with Shouta.
This needed to be figured out. He couldn't keep talking about this man to his friends and family then take no steps to figuring himself out. Figuring out the ball of emotions tangled up in his chest that seemed to grow each time he talked to him. Seemed to fester each time the black-haired man said something seen as playful or flirty then took it back. He didn't understand why he was letting himself get worse off without trying to figure it out. To at least unravel it. If he had a crush then he had a crush.
There really wasn't anything bad about having a tiny crush, was there? Where it stood right now, he had not a clue if he did or not. Three months. He'd had Shouta as a best friend for three months now going on four months. Surely a crush could take place in that time, couldn't it? Four months was a long time to know someone. But as he sat here, letting the wind tug at his cardigan and his hair lightly again. He couldn't help but find a peace in it. In catching the faint whiffs of that odd vanilla cologne of Shouta's.
God, it smelled good. Spicy. Was there a scent that went with vanilla that he didn't know of? Or was it simply how the brand labeled vanilla? He had not a clue. But with the light brush of Shouta's shoulder against his again, the warmth rolling off of him, he couldn't help but melt. To relax. When was the last time he let himself relax like this? To let himself feel the effects of the wine he was sipping at? Given his sobriety, any alcohol he consumed often went through him quicker than he liked to admit. Much faster.
There was a light heat to his cheeks that no doubt gave a flushed appearance from his singular glass. Two was where he capped it. Always capping it at two but depending on how strong the alcohol was then he left it at one. One singular drink. But this wine was surprisingly good. If he could trust himself too, he might just indulge in another glass with Shouta. The wine wasn't very strong; not enough to get him properly drunk. But it was always better for him to remain cautious when it came to drinking anything alcoholic.
If tonight kept going the way it was going, he was sure that he'd have more than a fun time with Shouta. God, he swore he could sleep out here if it wasn't so cold. He could feel it nipping at his warm cheeks in the attempt to chase the warmth away. Stinging at the tip of his nose. His hair swayed against his back, at the side of his neck, when he let out another quiet sigh to himself. Letting out a quiet hum when he shifted slightly before continuing to let his head hang backwards. God, this is the most relaxed he'd been all night.
There was something welcoming about relaxing with Shouta. As if he could trust that even if they didn't say a word that he was in safe company. That he could let himself doze off without the fear that something untoward would happen to him. Shouta was like a pillar that he liked. A trust being established, albeit shaky, he appreciated it, nonetheless. He likes that he can trust Shouta the way that he trusted any other one of his friends. Any other person in his life. He liked to believe he can trust this man whole-heartedly.
However, he could still recall the lessons his mothers gave him back in his youth. Talking about how he needed to be cautious with new friends. To not open himself up or wear his heart on his sleeve less he get hurt. That he shouldn't trust new people with such whole heartedness. But he did. He trusted Shouta just like he trusted Oboro or Nemuri. Tomorrow it'd have been four months since he met Shouta. Four months that his life, quite honestly, had changed for the better. Going to that Mom's group meet up.
Hiring employees. Changing up his store. He wasn't drowning any longer but rather walking the water confidently. He had made so many positive changes, met so many new friends, that he couldn't recognize his life three months ago. Before all of these positive changes he'd been drowning. And he had to admit, he'd never felt more twisted up since meeting Shouta. He trusted that the man would never do anything untoward with him. Not the awkward, often times painfully shy Shouta. He trusted him.
Giving a light rock to his feet, the light sound of crickets ringing out filled the silence between them. There was a windchime nearby rattling lightly in the silence of the world wrapped around them. Chimes that, in the oncoming winter, would be taken down only to reappear once summer came back into full swing. Sometimes neighbors couldn't wait until then and would put their windchimes up in the early spring months. Shifting slightly to stretching himself out a little more, his hands slid over the blanket towards the edge slightly.
Blades of grass lightly tickling his fingertips when he gave another lazy rock of his feet. He could fall asleep. He knew it was a dangerous idea to take a bath tonight. It wouldn't be the smartest thing when he was drowsy after half a glass of wine like this. When he was fatigued from trick or treating and then driving both ways forty minutes from here to his mothers. He was tired. Felt like he had been dragged out but surely in the morning he could take one, couldn't he? After he got the boys on the bus and before work was a tight window.
But given he wasn't needed at the counter all the time then he could get away with it couldn't he? There was no reason why he couldn't take a bath in broad daylight. There was no one to tell him that he couldn't take a scented bath in the day time now was there? Because if he got in that bath right now, he knew that he would be nodding off. He didn't need to possibly fall asleep in his bath. And he could also show Shouta the scents that he had, and he could even give him sample sizes if need be.
Rocking his feet lazily, he shuddered at a light breeze tugging at his hair. Sneaking beneath it to attack the back of his neck which sent a shiver down his back. He squirmed in his spot when he adjusted his weight to keep his ass from falling asleep. What was Shouta doing? Was he looking at him like he suspected? Or was he merely relaxing like himself? He wanted to peek. He wanted to risk it and open his eyes, yet something was telling him to keep his damn eyes shut. To mind his own business while they were together.
That two grown men can enjoy the silence between them for as long as they wanted. That they didn't always have to have that playful back and forth conversation. That they could just exist in the silence. And yet the longer the remained silent the more aware he was of the man next to him. The warmth that radiated off of him. The way his hand was so unbearably close to his with the lights brush of the tips against his. His shoulder grazing his lightly when he had shifted his weight. The faint scent of vanilla wafting off of the man.
Fuck, he really needed to get his damn head on straight. Get those big boy pants on and figure out just what it was that he felt for Shouta. For three months he had been panicking and he couldn't go on for a fourth. He needed to understand what the hell he felt for Shouta. What the hell he wanted from the black-haired man. It wasn't fair to possibly be leading them both on. To keep them teetering on that threads edge with the uncertainty of it all blowing him side to side. They couldn't teeter like that forever.
He needed to really sit down and understand what he felt. What would he possibly want from this? He wants to be his best friend. He wants to be someone he can rely on. But did that mean that he had a crush on him? No. But he was coming to grips that his heart skips? The butterflies in his stomach that required him to take a deep breath? They weren't. They couldn't be, could they? Best friends didn't look forward to hearing the others voice, did they? They didn't run to see them at the first chance they got?
They didn't text them day in and day out with the hope of getting something from the other? It was all a beige maybe. After all, he might not even have a damn crush and could be confusing it for excitement. He wanted nothing more than to slam his head into the ground until he got the answers he knew were in there. The answers that could so glaringly stare him in the face after those late night calls with Shouta. He needed to get his shit together. He couldn't ruin this friendship because he was panicking.
Worrying. It's not like Shouta had much interest in him from what he'd seen aside from the awkward joking that felt like flirting. But Shouta didn't seem like the type of man to flirt unless it was intentional. So, what did he do about this? Did he sit on his ass and think, think, think until it was too late? The last thing he needed was to drag his feet through the sand. To bitch, whine, and linger on the topic that was Shouta Aizawa to his friends and family. But that remained the main point of all of this. The big question he avoided.
Did he have a crush on Shouta Aizawa? He couldn't deny he had been interested in the man when he first saw him in his shop. There was that odd, strange tension from the night of his dinner party that refused to dissipate. A tension that had him squirming and twisting in his bed. Shouta was his best friend, yet he was finding himself pining. Pining for what? To twist his hands in those black curls? To know what it would be like to hold himself in his lap? To finally crush his lips to those unbelievably full ones?
To know what kind of brutal strength those hips had as they hit against him? To know what it would be like to kiss that stubble covered face to see if it scratched the way he thought they would? It had him damn near groaning had he not swallowed it down in time. There wasn't a damn chance he was going to tell Shouta what he was thinking of at this moment. What he felt about those little pining's he felt for the man. No way. It was fun to think of someone as a lover. To think and fawn over it. To play with the idea.
Hell, Nemuri had been telling him for the longest time now to throw himself back out there. Was that what he needed? After all, what would the harm be to download an app tonight for dating? It didn't need to be something serious. He just needed someone to pound it out of him. Someone he could focus on that wasn't Shouta. It would still remain that Eri and Shouta would remain special to him. Would remain his closest friend he was in the process of making. But he needed to get this restless energy out of him somehow.
Would it help to masturbate more often? Or was it sex that he was merely aching for? He didn't like it, but he could degrade himself down enough for a quickie in the backseat of a car. So long as there was protection then he wouldn't care. But what if it made this indiscernible knot of emotion in his chest merely tighten? What if it threw into light what he really felt for Shouta? What if it made him feel dirty? What if it made him aware and cleared up that unnamable emotion in his chest when it came to his friend?
It had him clenching his jaw briefly to keep from babbling. From breaking the silence that felt so damn good at the moment. After a night of hearing shrieking children, his own shrieking boys, and walking street after street? Well, he wanted just a moment of silence. Just one little blip where he could think even if he didn't want to think at the moment. To have a moment to himself despite having someone with him. He didn't want to be thinking when his thoughts were consistently circling like wasps.
Prompting him to think over and over about the black-haired man sitting silently next to him. Unaware of where his thoughts were going in the silence. What he was thinking of. It had his breaths stuttering slightly as his cheeks burned lightly at the embarrassment pricking in his chest when he let out a sigh. Enjoying the sensation of letting his head hang back when he opened his eyes to look up at the dark sky above him. To trace out shapes with the few stars that were managing to break through the light pollution around them.
God, was he really as stable as he thought he was? He was confident other areas in his life were covered and easy to deal with. To manage. But then what about this one little blip in his life? What did he have to say about that? That he was thinking of his friend in a not so friendly manner? Fuck him, he was a fucking mess when it came to Shouta. He didn't know what he needed to do but he needed to get it done. He needed to get his shit together. No more lingering. No more avoiding the thought of Shouta.
He needed to sit down and rationalize everything that had happened in the past three months. He needs to figure out now what he felt for Shouta. If he felt anything. He just needed to sit and think to himself seriously on what or if he felt anything. He'd known this man for three going on four months now and that deserved enough time to think. To stop avoiding the idea that maybe, just maybe, that he might have a crush on Shouta Aizawa. A small one. One that had enough strength to leave him with butterflies in his stomach.
Sighing out once more with a click of his tongue, he decided there was no better time than to break the silence now. To ask Shouta where he was at in terms of eating or drinking more wine together. Clicking his piercing off of the back of his teeth with a low sigh to himself, he shifted slightly to sit up slightly into a proper sit. His fingers sliding from the edge of the blanket when he shifted slightly once more which knocked his wine glass over. He rocked his crossed feet lightly when he turned his head slightly to face Shouta.
Opening his mouth to say something only to have his breath wheeze out of him to which he sucked in another despite that punched out feeling. And God, it had his heart jumping to his throat to clog it as he hissed in a breath. Dark eyes were locked onto him with an intensity that left him all too aware of the moment. Of the silence filled by the futile chirps of crickets around them. The material beneath his palms that he began to clutch towards them. The way his heart thudded sickeningly against his chest
His glasses slipping down his nose. The sight of Shouta so close to him had his heart thudding so damn hard he swore he could hear their faint thuds in his ruined ears. And yet he held himself still. Like a prey animal in the eyes of a predator. Those dark eyes were so clear. Light catching in them like the stars winking above. Full lips held a light stain of the wine from them; a faint red that drew his eyes to them. They parted slightly, black lashes fluttered as dark eyes flickered over his face with an intensity it left him breathless.
An intensity that had his hands shaking lightly in their holds. He didn't understand where this change was coming from. What did he do? Did Shouta want to kiss him? Was that why he was looking at him like that? Did he want to kiss Shouta? Was that something he wanted? He had not a clue, but his head was spinning lightly at the sudden change to the situation. He held onto the blanket tightly causing his hands to shake lightly when he met that gaze. What did he do? What did he fucking do? Did he do something?
Or did he do nothing? Were there signs leading up to this that he failed to notice? Or was he steps behind while Shouta was assuming something else? Did he want to kiss Shouta? Did he? He couldn't bring up the answer when he felt that light brush against his shoulder against his. Did he? Did he, did he, did he? He didn't know. He'd admired Shouta for so long he didn't think of anything physical happening! He didn't' know if he wanted their friendship to change yet! He didn't even know if he had a crush on the man yet!
What did he do? If he kissed him, would it change anything? Would it change everything? He's only known Shouta for three months, but did it matter in the long run? Three months or three years, he knew there was something. There was something in his chest, but he didn't have time to unravel it yet. He could possibly have a crush on him, but did he really know that? He found himself wavering when Shouta leaned in slightly with those dark eyes locked onto his. The intensity to them had his stomach fluttering wildly.
His lips parting slightly when he felt the ache of his breath being held down in his chest. Not breathing. He wasn't breathing. He was holding his damn breath because he was panicking over the sudden change of the situation. This isn't how he wanted it. He hadn't fantasized properly about kissing Shouta but rather when he got the chance to kiss someone again. He didn't want to be uncertain. He didn't want to feel scared. Panicked. His head was spinning with his heart pounding sickeningly against his chest when he felt a hand cover his.
Trembling. Shaking. What was Shouta thinking? Did this mean he felt something? Did this confirm what he hoped? Or was he reading this wrong? Fuck, how could he read this wrong? Shouta was right fucking there! Looking at him with enough intensity to get his lips tingling when the warmth of that hand squeezed at him gently. As if to tell him it was alright. That he could do this. That they could do this. And he knew that they could, but he was panicking that his thoughts, his little pining's, were all shrieking at him to do this.
Like he was some main lead in a story, a manga, or a damned fanfiction that he'd read at night on his phone. He wasn't the lead. He wasn't anyone important. And yet Shouta was looking at him like he was, and it was robbing him of breath. It was making his head spin when he felt that urge to thread his fingers together with Shouta's. To reach up and touch that rosy cheek of his. To tuck his hair behind his ear then to reach back twist his fingers into his black curls that swayed lightly in the breeze came over them.
A faint plume of silver leaving Shouta's lips with the sudden drop of the temperature around them. So thin he could just barely make it out. Good. It means whatever insects remained would die over with the first frost. But God he didn't know what to do with himself now that he was being presented with the reality of his fantasies. What it would be like to kiss Shouta. God, he'd found himself wondering that from the beginning when he first saw those full lips of his. When he'd been mesmerized by those chaotic black curls of his.
The few times he tried to give him books for free when he wondered what a man like Shouta would do with a lover. What type of lover he'd be. And he wanted so badly to find out. He didn't know if he had a crush or not but did, he have to have one to wonder about these things? To be curious about these things? Or could he just go into something sloppy and casual with Shouta? Or did he want something slow and easy? He had not a clue, but his lips were trembling as they tingled with that desire coming to clench his bones.
God, how long had it been since he kissed someone? Since someone kissed him? How long had it been since he'd been touched? And Shouta was holding his hand so tenderly it left him aching. What did he want to do? Did he say no? Did he delay what he wanted to do right now? What did he do about this desire of his? Whatever he wanted to say then he needed to say it right now. Now, before those full lips came down on his. Now before he gave in to his desire to do it. Now before he did something he regretted.
He felt his lips trembling silently with the words clogging his throat when he felt something crawl over his left hand. He tore his gaze from Shouta's, tensing to pull away, when he glanced down to find a cricket on the back of his hand. He didn't process it. Not one bit. He lifted his gaze to Shouta's again with the words coming to him only to pause as he took it in what he'd glanced sightlessly down at. A cricket. On his hand. Wait. What? He blinked when he jerked his gaze back down to the back of his left hand with a wheeze.
And there it was; a giant green cricket rubbed it's disgusting, spindly legs together to create an innocent chirp. Sitting on the back of his hand. Glowing. There was a fucking bug on him. And all that air came ripping out of his chest quickly on an exhale when he screamed at the top of his lungs before shaking his hand to rid it of the cricket. Scrambling back to crush himself against Shouta who grunted against his sudden shuffle back as he screamed. Shaking his hand out wildly despite the cricket being gone.
He rubbed at his hand when he scrambled back half falling into Shouta's lap when he fell back with his hands planting in the grass. And he couldn't help another scream at the touch of the grass prompting him to scramble off of Shouta's lap. His heart was pounding for an entirely new reason when Shouta jerked upright with wide dark eyes flicking over him. And the cricket hopped onto the blanket to which he jerked his legs up towards his chest with a shriek. Squirming back slightly without climbing off of the blanket.
Shaking at the sudden burst of adrenaline and fear as he squeezed his legs close to his chest with his feet mere inches away from the cricket on the blanket. Then Shouta was howling with laughter. Hearty, belly laughter that had him reaching out to grab his shoulder, shaking him side to side as he laughed. It was a booming laughter with cackles and snrots breaking it up as Shouta's cheeks flushed. Small tears popping on his lashes with the sudden intensity of his laughter when he shoved at Shouta's bouncing shoulder.
"It's not funny! Get rid of it, Shouta! Please!" He was shrieking. He could hear the rasp to his voice when the black-haired man merely howled with his laughter as he shook him viciously when the cricket turned towards him, and he couldn't scramble back. He merely tightened his hold on the black-haired man when the cricket chirped up at him again to which he shrieked when it crawled forward. "Shouta, please! Get the fucking bug already! Fucking get it!"
"Fi-Fine! Fine! I'll get the big bad bug!" The black-haired man howled out through his laughter as tears dripped down his cheeks when he leaned forward. And swiped boldly at the bug knocking it off of the blanket out of sight in the grass when he scrambled up onto his feet before rushing across the grass towards the porch while the black-haired man howled out behind. As if it were the funniest thing on the planet. "Hi-Hizashi, come back! It was just a little cric-cricket!"
"Fuck you! I'm not sitting out there! There're bugs everywhere apparently!" He screeched when he shifted back towards the door when the black-haired man coughed before laughing again. It was a rich, booming laugh that had cackles breaking it up. Snorts. It was a contagious laugh that had his lips twitching but he sat on the porch swing, tucking his legs beneath him. "You can come up here! I'm not sitting in the grass where those things are! You can fuck yourself if you think I'm sitting down there again!"
"My god! It was just a little cricket, Zashi!" Shouta got out around his laughter before throwing his head back again. And he couldn't deny he looked pretty in the golden light; he looked unbelievably beautiful as his cheeks turned rosy with the faintest cloud of steam leaving his lips from the cold air. He shuddered as he tugged his cardigan close when he tore his gaze away when he felt the pout forming on his lips. He always hated being made fun of for his fear of bugs. "Fine! I'll come join you on the porch with the pizza and wine!"
"Good!" It had Shouta lifting his head to smirk at him as that rosy blush spread over his cheeks before shuffling to a stand to grab their empty glasses, the bottle and stood up. Carefully, the black-haired man then walked over the blanket over towards the porch. Smirking wickedly up at him with that Totoro-esque way of his when he pouted down at the black-haired man. " God, it's not that big a deal to be scared of bugs! I hate bugs! For all you know I can have trauma related to it!"
That smirk widened impossibly with a sparkle to damp dark eyes as wet lashes fluttered. "Do you?"
"No. That doesn't mean I can't be scared of them!" He wanted to hate the laugh that left his friend in a bark. He wanted so badly to say he hated the sight of his face right now but he didn't. The tear tracks glistened on rosy cheeks with wet lashes shining much like those damp eyes when he took the glasses and bottle from Shouta with that pout on his lips. Stepping back to sit on the swing with a huff when the black-haired man smirked widely at him. "You are such a fucking dickhead, Shouta Aizawa!"
"And you are such a baby, Hizashi Yamada! I can't believe you lost your shit over a cricket! It's not going to kill you, you know that, right?" He glared at the black-haired man as his face burned uncomfortably hot when he tugged his cardigan closer together. He was shaking. Both from that damn bug and the thought of what could have happened. The way himself at a fork in the road. Unsure of what to do. He reached for the bottle of wine to twist the cap off and pour them both a fresh glass while Shouta shook out the blanket.
The pizza box. God, what was he doing with this man? What did he want from him? What did Shouta want from him? The man didn't even know he was transgender yet! How can he go around possibly kissing him when Shouta didn't know what he was getting into? He was seeing a façade. A masculine image but he didn't know the truth. And he deserved to know before they did anything. He frowned when Shouta joined him on the porch when he peeked up at him. "You're a dickhead."
"And you're a baby. I'm glad to make that clear. Now, can you please hand me my drink?" Shouta sat down on the swing next to him with that gap between with the blanket being draped over their laps instead. He took his half to tuck himself beneath after scrutinizing it then handing the black-haired man his glass which he lifted up to gulp at. A large swallow that had him blinking when the man winced. "Guess this'll be my last one, huh? I can't drive tipsy with a baby."
"No, and I refuse to let you! If you need to sober up then we can sit out here 'til you sober up, you hear me? Or you can walk home and leave Eri with me for the night! Or day! Whichever, but I won't let you even look at that car with the baby!" Haughty. Huffy. He knew his pouting was childish, but he looked at the black-haired man who sighed out with a hand raising up at him. "I'm serious, Shouta. You're not going to even humor it, you hear me? Friend's don't let friend's drive drunk and all that!"
"Friends, huh? Don't go all DARE program on me. I promise I won't even touch my car while I have an alcohol blood count. Happy?" The black-haired man then gave him a thin grin when he noticed the light tremor to Shouta's hand when he traced his fingers along the rim of his glass as his mouth opened. A breath being taken before it rushed out with nothing following it. He knew what Shouta wanted to say. He just knew it. But he found that he didn't want to hear about it; not yet. Not when he hadn't processed it yet.
"I can't believe you're going to make fun of me for being scared of bugs too! You knew that forever ago, yet you still find it oh so funny, you dick!" He loved the bark of laughter that left Shouta when dark eyes fluttered shut briefly. The grin forming fully over his lips; no longer thin but something welcoming. Confident again when he then pointed at him with his glass half raised causing the liquid to slosh at the sides of his glass. "I can't believe I was praising you for being a good friend not even an hour ago!"
"I am a good friend! I came, helped pick up your pizzas, and now we're spending time together! I think that's more than a good friend would do." Shouta smirked maliciously at him to get his heart skipping in his chest wildly when he turned his head away to sip his wine. A large swallow that had wine dripping from the corner of his mouth. He couldn't deny Shouta had been a good friend but there was an odd thrumming between them. Like they were merely actors scrambling for their normalcy.
Searching for that good vibe they'd had going all night. Before that moment seconds ago. No, no, he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about it at all. Not when he wasn't ready to confront the reality of what a moment like that meant for them. Instead, they were acting in their usual roles to break the tension, but it thrummed. It pulsed. And he didn't know what to do about that awkwardness when he lowered his glass. "Shouta?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we, um, forget that? What just happened?"
Silence. There was a heartbeat of silence between them with a few lingering crickets screaming when he traced his fingers along the rim of his glass. He knew what he was asking of Shouta; to decide if he wanted to confront what almost happened or if he wanted to forget about it. He didn't want to completely forget about it but rather he needed time. He needed to figure out how he wanted to react to that sudden change. He needed time to think. "I- Yeah. We can, um, forget it for the moment. I do apologize, I don't-"
"It's okay! You don't, uh, need to say anything more about it! I just- I need to think. Before we talk about it, okay? Can I just have some time to think?" He glanced up then Shouta nodded tightly at him with dark eyes flickering away from him down into his lap. Reaching over he then nudged playfully at his upper arm causing eyes to flick back up to him. "But thank you. Really. For the cricket, I mean! You're actually my hero of heroes right now, you know that? I appreciate you putting up with my fears."
Black lashes fluttered in a blink with lips parting slightly before they curled up into a grin. A snicker flying out of the black-haired man when he leaned over to nudge his shoulder against his playfully before settling back into his side of the swing with hands holding his wine glass. The same way he'd hold a hot drink. Was Shouta cold? They'd been out here for quite a bit, after all. "Well, you have the silly fears of a five year old little girl. But I'll fight away any big bad bugs for you come summer next year."
"Mhmm, you say that now, but I think you'll just mock me then too!" The black-haired man snorted then when he grinned as he traced his own fingers over the mouth of his wine glass. A shudder ran over Shouta at a stronger breeze that overtook them when he looked down at his cardigan. If only he were fuller like Shouta; he'd offer his cardigan if he could. And so, he peeked up at the black-haired man before licking his lips. "Do you want some tea? Or hot chocolate? You seem kinda cold, Sho."
Black brows raised at him when another of those hard breezes over took them to which he found himself shuddering with Shouta who sighed out. Another of those weak, impossibly thin clouds of his exhale fluttered out of him in the golden lighting of his back porch. Shouta glanced down at his wine with knees jiggling beneath the blanket when his grin softened into a gentle, almost shy smile when the man met his gaze causing his heart to skip. His stomach to flip. "I think that'd be lovely."
"Then let's go inside, yeah?" And pushing at his picnic blanket, he stood up with Shouta looking up at him with wide dark eyes before standing up with him as he drained the rest of his glass. Well, now that he had a bottle of wine out, he could put it in the fridge. Save it for when he told Nemuri about this tomorrow night. The blanket was put on the swing when he grabbed the wine while Shouta grabbed the remaining pizza. Tomorrow he'd figure everything out. He'd replay this over and over until then. He was sure of it.
He'd deal with everything tomorrow.
