It's been a few weeks since Katniss and Peeta returned from the Hunger Games. A few weeks that felt like a few years. After all the time they spent in the arena together, Peeta was more sure of his feelings than ever before, and Katniss more confused by her own. They'd barely spoken. Katniss, still feeling guilty over what happened with Peeta in the arena, tries to avoid him, but even she has to admit that she longs for his companionship also. Katniss was finally speaking to Gale again, though their dynamic was clearly affected by what happened in the arena. Gale was sullen, hostile, and reluctant to talk to her, not for lack of her trying. She did try to see things from his side, but there was never a girl in her mind that would make her jealous. She didn't have those kinds of feelings toward him. It still confused her how he had those feelings about her at all.

Katniss was still reeling from Gale's kiss and after finally deciding it was time to go home. On her way back she decides to stop into the marketplace to pick up a couple of things her mother needed to restock from the apothecary. Her walk was slow and measured and she still had so much on her mind, more things she needed to sort through, more emotions she needed to get in check…when something, or rather, someone caught her attention and brought her to an abrupt halt. Hopping behind a tree she looked around at the pair. Two blonde hair, blue eyed, very much not Seam. She always felt so out of place when they were all around. Never quite felt like she fit in, not that she ever tried. Some of them talked to her, the others ignored her, and she was fine with both. She didn't need them.

"Oh, Peeta," Delly Cartwright giggles, gently smacking him on the arm. "That's so mischievous!" They laugh together for a moment before she gives his arm a squeeze. "Honestly, anything you need, or if you want to talk at all, you know where I'll be." Peeta nods. "I'm always here. I can come to your house too, if that's easier. I still haven't gotten over there to see it, yet." She gives a teasing wink, and gently elbows him.

Peeta was taller than a lot of the girls, Delly was no exception. Though it did bother Katniss that Delly's head would fit into the same space near his heart that hers did. She'd always been conscious of how tall he was, but it hadn't directly impacted her before. He protected her, defended her, and his height did nothing but enforce that feeling of security.

"Yeah," says Peeta, guiltily. "I'm sorry I've been such a bad friend these last few weeks." He sighs and grabs her hand.

Katniss flinches at the casual way he touches Delly. Reminding herself she shouldn't feel that way. That everything they went through in the Games was all for show. She didn't actually love him. Honestly, she refused to let herself think about that anymore, this was the first moment she'd felt anything like jealousy, and she noted how severely she didn't like it. She wasn't a jealous person. She had no room for jealousy of any kind, not in regard to anyone, let alone Peeta. Problem was, it was only about Peeta, and more specifically any other girl talking to him. He had friends, she knew this, she watched it all the time growing up. He was always surrounded by girls. He was a good wrestler, he was strong, dependable. Everything she attributed to goodness and wholeness, was tied to Peeta, and now more than ever before. He was just the boy with the bread before the Games, and now she was struggling to maintain that disconnect, because if she let herself figure out what she felt…it might complicate things. But it could also make things better. She shook her head, willing the thoughts to go away.

"I've had a lot on my mind," he explains. "That's not an excuse and I really am sorry. I've just been a bit lost lately, and I've been so lonely." He wasn't lying. He had been terribly lonely since the train ride back from the Capitol after he and Katniss had won the Hunger Games. She'd barely said more than two words to him at any given time. Was he being selfish, by expecting her to have fallen in love with him in that arena, too? Had she? He thought she had, but it was an act, she as good as said it was an act. Why shouldn't he trust that? Because he didn't believe it.

"Peeta," Delly gasps, throwing her arms around him. "Don't you think you should go talk to Katniss?"

"No," Peeta says, shaking his head. "I already feel bad about everything, why would I want to make that worse for either of us?"

"Worse how, Peeta?" she asks slowly, releasing her grip on him.

"It's not fair of me to hold her to anything she said, or did." He briefly thinks back to the kisses in the cave, and what she said in the Capitol…about putting him somewhere he couldn't get hurt.

"You're wrong," says Delly, her blonde ponytail swaying with every turn of her head. "And I don't mean about not holding her accountable, because I do think you should, but I also don't think she even understands how she's feeling." She folds her arms over her chest in exasperation. "Have you even tried to talk to her about it?"

Well, she's not wrong, Katniss thinks to herself, somewhat angrily.

"I've caught her looking at you over the years," she insists, but Peeta shakes his head and tries to say something but Delly continues, uninterrupted. "I'm not asking for feedback, Peeta, I'm telling you what I've seen. I'm actually kind of surprised it took the Reaping and the Hunger Games for you two to talk. Don't pretend like I haven't seen you looking at her over the years." Peeta keeps trying to interject and she refuses to let him. "No, Peeta," she nearly shouts, "I know what I'm talking about here. I think you two are destined to be together, I think the Games were just the thing used to facilitate that. You can be mad at me, if you want, but I'm positive I'm right."

"Fine," Peeta concedes. "I don't think you're right, but I won't say you're wrong either."

The two laugh and walk off toward the bakery together, Peeta casually throws his arm over her shoulders and they head down the street, chatting about what he made today, and all the things that she is going to buy. Just as they pass out of earshot, Katniss feels a tap and the shoulder. Jumping away like she's been struck by lightning, as if she was doing something she shouldn't. She spins around to see Madge.

"And what are we doing here?" Madge teases. "Spying on Peeta?" She laughs. "I thought we were done doing that, ya know, after the Games." Katniss stares at her dumbfounded. "Delly's right," she gives Katniss a gentle poke. "You two have always been observing each other over the years. I never even went after Peeta, because I thought at some point the two of you would have gotten over your shyness and talked to each other." She turns to stand face to face with Katniss. "I'm just sorry that the Games had to jumpstart things."

"Jumpstart what, exactly?"

"Oh, Katniss," sighs Madge. "You really don't see it?" After Katniss refuses to answer anything, Madge continues. "Well, between you and me, Peeta's always been the right guy for you. He's the most genuine person I know, and despite how horrible his mother is, he's a great guy."

"Wait," Katniss remembers something she'd glossed over while Madge was talking. "What do you mean about not going after Peeta? Because of me?" She shakes her head in confusion. "I don't understand. Why would you have ever thought that? Why would you have left him alone," she pauses and continues with emphasis, "for me?"

"Katniss," Madge says, weighing her words and speaking slowly. "You're my friend, arguably my best friend, and I never considered anything with Peeta because I figured at some point you two would get over whatever was keeping you from speaking…I thought this would have happened anyway. Without the Hunger Games, I figured it was just an inevitability." Katniss continues to stare at her in silence. "I'm just so very sorry that what broke the ice had to be the Hunger Games. It was a terrible, horrible, stroke of solemnity. It was like the world decided to help you out." Katniss' jaw drops and she stares at Madge. "I'm not saying you love him," she quickly adds. "But you could do a lot worse than Peeta. Frankly, I don't know how you could do any better."

"Thank you, Madge," Katniss croaked. "I think it's about time to get home."

"Oh, Katniss," Madge says, giving her a gentle shove. "Just think about what I've said. If you truly think I'm wrong, then come back to me later and say so, but not until you've really thought about it. And not think yourself out of it." Madge give Katniss a wink and then takes off toward her home.

"Thanks, Madge," Katniss hollers after her. "For being my friend."

"Of course, Katniss," she waves back and then disappears around a corner.

Katniss, feeling completely overwhelmed by what Madge has just said, starts to slowly resume her walk through town. Has she been that obvious in her watching Peeta over the years? Had more than Madge stayed away from Peeta because of her? Has anyone tried to get his affection because of her? Had she unknowingly been fighting off girls this whole time? More to that, if she had, why had no one said anything before now? Did other people see her and Peeta together as an inevitability? What about Gale? No one had thought that was a thing? She didn't, but she supposed other people might have. Her mind grew increasingly filled with questions about things she had missed, signals she must have put out…why had Madge stayed away from Peeta for her when she'd never said anything about even the slightest interest in the baker's boy?

Angry with the previous conversation's topic, she begins to trudge angrily down the street, when the sight of Peeta and Delly talking and laughing in the bakery stops her dead in her tracks. They appeared to be having so much fun, she wasn't even sure something such as fun could even exist between her and Peeta. What did they have that wasn't a fierce desire to protect the other? Was that all they had together? The thought bothered her more than she cared to admit. Delly was allowed to be his friend, they'd always been friends, and where did she get off on thinking she had the monopoly over Peeta's relationships? Ashamed of herself, and how she's been treating Peeta, Katniss turns on her heel and starts to head off towards Victors Village.

"Hey, Katniss!" The clear voice of Delly comes along with the jingle of the bell on the Bakery door. Katniss tries to act like she hadn't heard, which results only in Delly coming up behind her and tapping her on the shoulder. Katniss stops, reluctantly, and turns to face Peeta's giggly friend.

"Hi, Delly."

"How are you doing?" she beams at Katniss, smiling from ear to ear.

"I'm fine." She answers curtly, not sure what else to follow it up with.

Delly, clearly expecting more from the interaction, shrugs and continues to speak anyway, "Peeta's in a good mood today, but he could probably use a hello from you to make it even better!" When Katniss doesn't react she stops suddenly, grabs Katniss's elbow and pulls to face her. "I'm glad you didn't die, Katniss." She nods, smiles, and then turns away and skips off in the other direction. Katniss made note of the fact that she'd had nothing in her hands from the Bakery, so she just wanted to spend time with Peeta, which she agreed that she was entitled to as she had zero claim over Peeta.

The rest of her walk back is coated in a thick silence. Aggravated, she takes off in a light jog so she can get to the house faster and be done with the events of the day. She'd discovered what jealousy was, that she didn't like it, and figured she should give herself some space. Space from who or what exactly, she didn't know, only that she didn't like this feeling and wanted whatever was causing it to stop.

In the days that followed, Katniss tried to ignore the words of her friend, and the suggestions of Delly. She simply wanted to pretend like none of this had happened, but that was before Snow came to visit. She was on her way back from the Meadow and had walked in with President Snow already waiting in her office. Before he didn't believe her, before he made her promise not to lie to him, and that somehow she needed to calm the rebels down. Worst of all, she had to convince him of loving Peeta. What did that even mean? Thankfully, she didn't have much time to think about it…now. Unfortunately, there would be plenty of time to think about it later. With the Victory Tour under way, and Haymitch in the know, they set off for the first District.

"You could do a lot worse, you know." Just one of the more recent things that Haymitch had said to her about the whole thing. Madge said the same thing. Obviously, she could do worse. There were plenty worse in this world, and it certainly wasn't Peeta. If she admitted it to herself, she knew she'd be incredibly hard pressed to do any better than Peeta, and that was an unwarranted feeling in and of itself. Because if she couldn't do any better, and she'd already accepted that fact that she probably wouldn't, then why was she so reluctant to even talk to him? To show him any kind of anything, the very least she owed him was friendship, not shutting him out. It was easier for her to just ignore the whole thing entirely, than trying to figure out what she was feeling. Feelings only let to problems. There was no greater example of that than Snow threatening everyone she held dear, simply because Gale kissed her, and Snow had seen it.

What had he seen though? Did he think she loved Gale? Did he determine that the relationship between her and Gale was more genuine than the one with Peeta? Worst of all, what did she have to do to convince him she loved Peeta? Did she need to be more affectionate? Kiss him more? Spend every second of every moment of their lives inseparable? What did she have to do? The overwhelming amount of questions had drained her of what little bit of emotions she had. The Victory Tour was starting and she was beyond the whole thing already.

You could do a lot worse. The words ring in her head at a constant. Barely able to look at Peeta in the dining car, listening to the nonsensical banter of the prep teams, noting how much of a particular mess Haymitch seems to be today. Though she had to admit, he was almost always a mess. She didn't want to be nosy, but oh how she wanted to know what made him the way he was? What happened to his family? Had Haymitch done something similar and that's why he drank himself into an oblivion? For a brief moment, Katniss is distracted by her never ending thoughts about Peeta. Looking up from the table, she makes eye contact with him and her eyes fall to her plate.

What is she thinking about? Peeta wonders as her gaze falls back to her plate. He knew she'd been distant, he knew she'd been hurting, but this seemed like something more. What was causing her so much angst? What could he possibly do to help her? Could he even help her? Would she let him help her? Then a thought, albeit selfish, crept into his mind…he'd let her help him, but he'd never know how to ask. Never know how to tell her that all he does is think about her, that his nightmares — which he has nearly every night — are about losing her. That there's no relief in waking because it's usually a full day or so before he sees her again.

After several attempts to pull Katniss into conversation, nearly everyone gives up on her, until a delay with the train throws Effie into a tizzy about how this will mess up every single thing from here on out, for the rest of their lives. It was odd how much these minor inconveniences brought on the end of the world for her. Peeta was just smiling sweetly at Effie, listening to her drabble when Katniss snapped.

"No one cares, Effie!"

And just like that, Katniss has left the train car and disappeared down the train.

"She doesn't mean that, Effie," says Peeta reassuringly.

"Oh, I know, Peeta," she replies with a smile and a gentle tap on his shoulder. "She just needs a moment, and since we're not going anywhere any time soon, she can go have that moment on her own." Effie, ever gracious, gives Katniss more credit than Peeta feels she deserves, but nevertheless, he figured he should talk to her. Maybe he could calm her down a bit.

"I'll go talk to her," Haymitch slurs while trying to get up, and then falls back into his chair.

"It's okay, Haymitch," says Peeta, getting to his feet. "I'll take this one." Walking out of the room he can just catch Effie telling Haymitch that Peeta would probably make more sense to her anyway, though she appreciated his efforts, when he wasn't tapped out on the alcohol. Peeta couldn't understand their dynamic, Effie always seems to let Haymitch teeter between being friendly to her and hostile. There must be something to that relationship over the last twenty-five years, that he simply did not understand.

At first not sure where she would have disappeared to, and hoping it wasn't to her room, one of the door alarms goes off and he knows. Following the blaring alarm he comes to the open door and follows Katniss out of the train. Hesitant, cautious, he comes up behind her. Hoping she won't shut him out.

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture," she says, not turning.

Good, thinks Peeta, I don't want to give one anyway.

"I'll try to keep it brief," he says, taking a seat beside her.

"I thought you were Haymitch."

"No, he's still working on that muffin." Uncomfortable, and frustrated, he adjusts the placement of his constant reminder that Katniss saved his life…at the expense of his leg. Thinking to himself as he says, "Bad day, huh?"

"It's nothing," she says.

"Look, Katniss," he starts and suddenly all the words he's been trying to say for weeks come tumbling out. "I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train." Realizing he should clarify, "I mean, the last train." Anyway. "The one that brought us home." She knows that. "I knew you had something with Gale," he says as his fist forms and then relaxes. "I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games." He wants to say more, but concludes with, "I'm sorry."

"I''m sorry, too," she says.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. I know that. But I don't want us to keep going like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so," he tries to thing of the right word and lands on, "wounded, we could take a show at just being friends." He obviously hopes for more, but for the moment, he'll take whatever he can get.

"Okay," she says.

Looking at her, he tries to see into her mind, to what is really going on. Since he can't, he asks, "What's wrong?" She doesn't answer and picks up a clump of weeds, the urge to hold her hand is almost stifling. Before she can end the conversation he decides, "Let's start with something more basic. Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life to save mine…" She says nothing so he proceeds, "but I don't know what your favorite color is?" That's definitely basic, he thinks to himself. Hopefully she can meet him there. She smiles.

"Green. What's yours?"

Yes! Progress. "Orange."

"Orange?" She seems unconvinced. "Like Effie's hair?"

"A bit more muted," he says. "More like…" he pictures the kind of orange, "sunset."

She looks like she wants to say something, and Peeta waits expectantly, but she doesn't explain, instead she says, "You know, everyone's always raving about your paintings. I feel bad I haven't seen them." That's all he needed to hear.

"Well, I've got a whole train car full." Getting to his feet he offers her his hand, "Come on." The feeling of her shoots all the love and affection in his heart to that one hand. Slowly he entwines her fingers in his and slowly starts to walk back to the train, afraid if he goes too far ahead of her that she'll drop it and run away. When she doesn't, they walk hand in hand back to the train, pulling her back up and in behind him. At the door she stops, and he panics thinking she's changed her mind.

"I've got to apologize to Effie first."

"Don't be afraid to lay it on thick," he tells her with a smile.

Katniss does just that. Bit overkill, but even Peeta can't deny that it's probably only just good enough for her. She accepts graciously of course, tells her she understands all the stress she's been under. She hasn't let go of his hand for the entire exchange with Effie, and he's not complaining. After they reach a resolution in the conversation, Peeta pulls Katniss out of the dining car and leads her to his paintings.

As she stares at all the paintings, he freezes for a moment, realizing just how many of them are of Katniss. Would she like that or hate it? Is it too much? He just couldn't help it, she worked her way so far into his heart, that he couldn't imagine a world that he didn't paint her, or want to see her face everywhere he went.

"What do you think?"

"I hate them," she says, and his heart drops. "All I do is go around trying to forget the arena and you've brought it back to life. How do you remember these things so exactly?"

"I see them every night," he admits.

"Me, too. Does it help? To paint them out?"

"I don't know. I think I'm a little less afraid of going to sleep at night, or I tell myself I am. But they haven't gone anywhere." He's telling her the truth, he's less afraid to sleep, but he still doesn't enjoy it, and he doesn't remember what a good night's sleep feels like. He's forever grateful that he has his big house to himself, so no one has to hear him. Perhaps this is how Haymitch is. What happened to him to have made him this way?

"Maybe they won't. Haymitch's haven't."

It was like she had read his mind. "No. But for me, it's better to wake up with a paint-brush than a knife in my hand," he says. "So, you really hate them?" He asks, not quite sure he's ready for her answer. He thought she'd appreciate them and the first thing she says is that she hates them. Doesn't make him feel very good about showing them to her. Maybe he should have just shown her the ones of her, or maybe that would have been too much?

"Yes. But they're extraordinary. Really." Her admittance makes him feel a little better, though he does feel bad that they triggered a negative response from her, he wasn't trying to make it hard on her…he just wanted to show her his art. "We should be almost to 11 now," she says after a few moments. "Want to go and see what it looks like? I don't think I paid that much attention the last time that we were here." Peeta nods. "Then let's go." She tightens her grip on his hand and pulls him along the train until they get to the big windows at the back. Neither remembering a time when they'd held hands this tightly, both certain they'd be nursing their hands later, but neither of them let go.

After taking in the vastness of District 11, Effie comes to tell them to get ready and goes over — briefly — the events of the day. Pretty much consists of a speech and a party, the first of many. All does not go to plan as Peeta, trying to help, offers money to the families of Thresh and Rue, which he can't do. Little bit of rebellion. Then Katniss tries to speak from her heart and it ends with an older man being shot on the steps of the Justice Building, inciting chaos. Ending in Haymitch all but dragging them up, up, up to the top floor of the building and rounding on them.

"What happened?" he asks.

Peeta recounts everything to Haymitch and asks, "What's going on, Haymitch?"

"It will be better coming from you," Haymitch says to Katniss. His concern was fighting hard to stay behind the door he'd barely cracked open. These two, especially that one, Burdock's daughter. I can never escape his grip on my heart, Haymitch thinks to himself. And I'll be damned if she blows up her life the same way I did. No, she has to tell Peeta. It's not my cross to carry. Her face contorts, clearly she doesn't agree with Haymitch.

With a lot of effort and guilt, Katniss recounts everything that has happened. The meeting with Snow and the unrest in the districts. The kiss with Gale. How everyone is in jeopardy because of what she did with the berries. Peeta listens, his anger building. Katniss regrets for a moment not telling him back by the train, maybe if she had that old man would still be alive, but she couldn't think of that now.

"I was supposed to fix things on this tour. Make everyone who doubted believe I acted out of love. Calm things down. But obviously, all I've done today is get three people killed, and now everyone in the square will be punished." She feels sick to her stomach and Peeta's face is red and angry.

"Then I made things worse, too. By giving the money," Peeta says, angrily hitting a lamp and sending it flying across the room to the floor where it shatters. "This has to stop. Right now. This — this — game you two play, where you tell each other secrets but keep them from me like I'm too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them."

"It's not like that, Peeta—" Katniss tries to explain, because it wasn't like that at all, but he cuts her off yelling.

"It's exactly like that! I have people I care about, too, Katniss! Family and friends back in District Twelve who will be just as dead as yours if we don't pull this thing off. So, after all we went through in the arena, don't I even rate the truth from you?" The feeling of betrayal tries to choke him, but he won't let himself break, even though his heart was burning.

"You're always so reliably good, Peeta," says Haymitch. "So smart about how you present yourself before the cameras. I didn't want to disrupt that." Haymitches guilt threatens to seize him. He cared about both of these kids, he'd saved them once before, but he was going to have to keep saving them, if he wanted them to live. And did he want them to live. The thought brings the Covey song to his mind, Nothing you can take from me, was ever worth keeping. His only problem, these kids were worth keeping and he'd be damned if Snow took anything else from him. He already took too much. Gumdrops.

"Well, you overestimated me. Because I really screwed up today. What do you think is going to happen to Rue's and Thresh's families? Do you think they'll get their share of our winnings? Do you think I gave them a bright future? Because I think they'll be lucky if they survive the day!" Peeta angrier than ever hurls something else across the room. Neither Katniss or Haymitch has seen him this upset, and neither knows what to do.

"He's right, Haymitch," says Katniss. "We were wrong not to tell him. Even back in the Capitol."

"Even in the arena, you two had some sort of system worked out, didn't you?" he asks them, still angry. Then he says quietly, "Something I wasn't part of."

"No. Not officially. I just could tell what Haymitch wanted me to do by what he sent, or didn't send," she says. Haymitch keeps having to remind himself that just because she's so much like him, doesn't mean that she'll suffer the same fate he did, after all, her family was still here, and she still had Peeta, even if she didn't understand her feelings. But anyone who has seen love, and knows these two, knows it there…maybe barely, but it's there.

"Well, I never had that opportunity. Because he never sent me anything until you showed up," says Peeta. Haymitch hears it like a punch to the gut. Hadn't Peeta told him to get Katniss out? Hadn't that been their plan? But if Peeta saw it this was, had the whole country? Did it look like he himself picked the tribute he wanted to win? The guilt is overwhelming.

"Look, boy—" Haymitch begins.

"Don't bother, Haymitch. I know you had to choose one of us. And I'd have wanted it to be her. But this is something different. People are dead out there. More will follow unless we're very good. We all know I'm better than Katniss in front of the cameras. No one needs to coach me on what to say. But I have to know what I'm walking into," says Peeta.

He's not wrong, thinks Haymitch. "From now on, you'll be fully informed," he promises.

"I better be," says Peeta. He doesn't look at anyone else before he leaves the room.

"Did you choose me, Haymitch?" she asks.

"Yeah," he says. Of course he couldn't tell her that he'd never forgive himself if he didn't do everything in his power to bring Burdock Everdeen's daughter home. His best friend. He'd never be able to live with himself, maybe that had hurt Peeta, and maybe it should make him feel some kind of shame, but…he'd pick Katniss again next time too. Thankfully though, as a Victor, there is no next time. He was able to save her, that's really all that mattered.

"Why? You like him better," she says, cutting off his thoughts.

"That's true." It wasn't. "But remember, until they changed the rules, I could only hope to get one of you out of there alive," he says. "I thought since he was determined to protect you, well, between the three of us, we might be able to bring you home." And I never could have lived with myself, if I'd just stood by and watched her die. He thinks to himself, but I'll never tell her that. Or just how much anguish I was in hearing 'Everdeen' called in the Reaping. Asterid had already been through so much.

"Oh," she says.

"You'll see, the choices you'll have to make. If we survive this," says Haymitch. "You'll learn." He thinks back to all of the things he has had to do in the past, all of the tributes he's been hopeless to save. About how no one ever spoke of these kids again, but they had lives they could have lived, loves they could have had. Chances, futures, but they weren't lucky. The odds were never in their favor. But these two, maybe the tide had changed. Now he just needed to do everything he possibly could to keep them alive. Thankfully, Snow hadn't challenged him about getting Katniss into line, maybe he didn't know about his connection to Burdock. Maybe it was a good thing that he cut the Everdeen's off. Maybe it was good he cut everyone off. Cutting his own thoughts off he gestures to the stairs, "Come on. We've got a dinner to attend."