Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written fiction, the views and opinions in this story are not intended to be viewed as those of the author. Ranma 1/2, Urusei Yatsura, Inuyasha, and Five Pound Gospel are the creations of Rumiko Takahashi, property of their respective rights holders and publishers. Please support the official releases.

CW: This story will contain violence, strong language, sexual humor and situations, drug use, Moroboshi Ataru, and Happosai. You've been warned.


Wild Like You

Paying no mind to the young man he just flattened, Saotome Genma locked eyes with his son and an indignant wrath overcame him. For days now he'd been playing this game of tag with his son, and after spotting him and initiating this latest chase, he was done. "Found you, boy! This nonsense ends now!"

Ranma quickly assumed a fighting stance. "How many times do I have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"

Akane reached out and pulled Katie back while stepping away herself as the old man lunged at Ranma, hands raised to strike at him.

Ranma shot forward, closing the gap even faster and lashing out with his right hand to strike Genma's neck. When he deflected it, Ranma pivoted to a left cross which was also batted aside. This did not deter the boy as he came back yet again with a right vertical jab that was blocked before Genma retaliated with a right cross.

The boy slapped it away as if to attack his attacker's attack, moving with the blow to slap the taste out of his opponent's mouth.

Genma blocked it and grabbed Ranma's arm. When he resisted, both exchanged quick blows with their free hands before the boy fired a side kick with his left leg that forced Genma to let go so he could block with both arms.

The kick sent him stumbling back to hold himself in a wide, ungainly stance.

Akane couldn't even get a gasp out as the young man rushed in with a tight, controlled left corkscrew jab that Genma smartly deflected. As he came with another heavy right cross, Genma ducked under it smartly and the father and son pair fell into a lightning-fast exchange of punches and kicks, with each seemingly escaping damage by a narrow margin.

It was like watching a rush of blows between Dragon Ball Z characters or Stands.

"He's…" Akane began, almost awestruck. "… He's good! He's fighting even with that old guy."

"No," Katie shook her head as she took the exchange in. "That there young buck's winning."

Indeed, Ranma was slipping in a slap or using a block to sneak a blow into his body. An elbow to the chest of the man sent him sliding back two, three, four steps. His slipper clad feet skipped and slapped against the pavement as he rushed into the opening his blows created, leaving only time for the old man to hastily throw up a tight guard.

Ranma's body spun like a top as he jumped in, and the kicks he landed were like shotgun blasts. The man's guard buckled, moving as he endured one pair of kicks. But then he took two, then four, then eight before his defense finally broke, knocking him ass-over-teakettle up the sidewalk.

Katie whistled, impressed at the display. "Dang."

Akane looked from Ranma to his opponent and back, more concerned about the cause of this conflict.

Ranma was more than happy to shed some light on it, unprompted. "Chase me all you like, the only thing you're catching are these hands! I am going back to China!"

"China?" Katie and Akane asked in unison.

In spite of the impressive beating he received, Saotome Genma got up and assumed a low and wide stance more for grappling than striking. "Boy! There's nothing back there for you but death and stupidity! Stop your bellyaching and come with me already!"

"Bellyaching?! Everything that went wrong was because of you and your stupid decisions! Like every time! And like every time, you're just gonna cut your losses and run away no matter what it does to me!"

"I didn't tell you to fight the Joketsuzoku! Or eat their food! That's on you!"

"The Joketsuzoku?" Katie and Akane said together again, while sharing looks, both surprised that the young man was so well-traveled as much as that each other knew the term themselves.

"You were there stuffing your face the same as me! Heck, you started first!" Ranma accused.

"Regardless!" Genma shouted like he was in a courtroom trying to parry a prosecutor's cross-examination with a well-placed objection. "It was you who chose to pick a fight with that warrior girl, and why we had to leave!"

Katie looked at Ranma, then at his old man. "Wait a minute, that's not right…"

"For the six-thousandth time! I had Shampoo handled! We could've gone back to Jusenkyo without having to worry about her! But, and for the seven-thousandth time, YOU WANTED TO LEAVE BECAUSE YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYBODY BUT YOURSELF!"

Both Akane and Katie recoiled, eyes wide, at the mention of that name. They saw the same on the scroll of the Fox Shrine before it collapsed.

"Jusenkyo?!"

Genma prepared himself. "Foolish boy, you keep talking at length about handling that girl. Not thinking about the consequences of your actions!" He threw himself at his son, right shoulder first, hands held open like claws to strike when he entered range. "I spared us a war you never would have won!"

Ranma ducked under the first Tiger-style slash from Genma's left hand. "As if you actually care!" He side-hopped to avoid his right. "If they said they'd let you live, you'd throw me to them bound and gagged!"

Bringing both hands together at the heels of his palms, Genma lunged at Ranma with his palms and all ten fingers pointed at him. "I'd have ditched you to them a long time ago if that were the case!" When Ranma evaded and countered with a kick, he blocked it. "I need you alive, boy!"

"Yeah, you need me!" Ranma shouted back, as he rained more kicks on Genma. "As long as I'm breathing, I'm your handy-dandy all-in-one scapegoat, excuse, meal ticket, and decoy! Why do I always gotta suffer the consequences for your actions?!"

Genma endured the blows much better than he had before and even managed to lash out and catch Ranma's right ankle. When Ranma twisted in his grip and swung the heel of his left foot down towards the top of his head, Genma merely let go of his ankle and then caught the descending heel.

"Too slow, bo–!" Ranma's heel spun in Genma's hand, and the older Saotome ate the sole of the younger's other slipper.

Knocked back, Genma staggered and shook off the blow, while Ranma landed and hopped from one foot to the other, ready for whatever he might try next. "I'll never be slower than you!" He taunted.

Akane and Katie were engrossed by the showdown of father and son. All the questions they'd had when the brawl started to take a back seat as they started analyzing the movements of both fighters, picking apart the exchanges of play and counterplay despite their harrowing speed.

Old boy is good, damn good, for his size and fitness, Katie thought. He's planning five moves ahead, at the least, trying to fight a war of attrition.

Akane watched as Genma advanced on Ranma again, launching straight punches while his son skipped backward to avoid them. He's too sloppy, she thought. Fighting to wear him down only works if he's hitting him, but he's the one missing and getting hit.

She looked at Ranma. And he's just too fast, and he converts that speed to power almost instantly.

Katie had the exact same thought. It doesn't matter how many steps out the old man is, the buck is fast enough to adapt to it.

Finally, with a yell, Genma threw a punch close enough to land on Ranma's jaw. He fell straight into a feint, Ranma catching and redirecting the punch away with his left hand while drilling his right foot into his stomach with all the violence of a rifle shot.

Letting go of Genma's hand as he doubled over from the air being rammed from his lungs, Ranma turned and scooped his father's chin with a rising uppercut that lifted the older man off his feet and into the air in an arc away from him.

"And that's it," both girls said together once more as Genma flopped onto his back with a loud clap.

Huffing, Ranma wagged his right hand to shake off the sting to his knuckles. "Do us both a favor, and stay down this time, because next time it's gonna be worse."

Ranma, the girls decided, was a curiosity that had to be satisfied.

Where did he come from? Katie wondered.

Where did he learn that? Akane thought.

But more importantly, both really wanted to know.

Where has he been?!

Because this guy was definitely something special.

Akane stepped forward, and called to him. "Hey, Ranma, right?"

Ranma turned to her. "What?"

Akane looked at Genma laid out, then back at him. "… Are you okay?"

Ranma froze where he stood, staring at Akane like she'd asked him a question he'd never heard before. "Uhh… what?"

She looked up and down at him. Now that the action was over, for the moment, details that she'd glossed over while analyzing his fighting were coming forward. First, he was positively filthy, like he'd been on the road for weeks without much in the way of amenities. Even closer, she could see shadows under his eyes, and a growing weakness in his stance as the adrenaline drained from him.

From her asking that question, Katie realized it, too. This guy was in bad shape, really bad shape.

Contrary to what they both saw, Ranma finally responded to the question by squaring his shoulders and looking aside, evading eye contact while reinforcing his façade. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry…" He looked back at his father. "… He got it way worse than me."

Katie spoke. "Yeah, given all the hollerin' you were doin'? We ain't concerned with him."

Her kouhai agreed. "You look like you could use some rest."

"Among a few other things," Katie chimed in, not wanting to mention them for risk of insulting the young man.

Ranma's guard remained in place. "Yeah, well don't worry about me. All I gotta do is put distance between me and this guy and I'll be okay." He gave both girls a smile and a thumbs up. "Thanks for the concern, though."

Katie and Akane were now worried. He was putting up a strong front, probably not to get them wrapped up in his drama–and while they appreciated such chivalrous stubbornness, Akane especially wasn't going to let the guy go off on his own in the state he was in.

"There's a ramen place not too far from here," she said. "At least let us buy you a bowl, because you look hungry."

At the mention of a meal, Ranma's guard crumbled as his eyebrows rose in , again, he'd been told something he'd never heard before. "Hey, well, if you're offerin', well…"

"Knock me down 99 times…"

He stopped when he heard Genma's voice. He looked back at him, as his father rose to his feet.

Genma stood and assumed a fighting stance, reaching up to adjust his glasses. "… And I will get up 100, boy."

Rolling his eyes in frustration, Ranma got ready to fight. "Then you'll go down 101."

He stopped, in surprise, when he sensed not merely an intent to harm–but that someone had locked in.

Genma didn't expect the two young women who'd been on the sidelines to suddenly train their gazes on him with an ill-intent not unlike his son's.

"Hold yer horses there, big man," Katie said in a calm but threatening tone. "You keep swinging on your kid and we'll swing on you."

Akane agreed, with a much fiercer edge. "He's exhausted and hungry. We're not going to let you harass him!"

Scoffing at both, Genma did not back down. "This doesn't concern you. Mind your own business and go about your day!"

"Like heck I am!" Akane shouted back.

"We ain't the sort to see some nonsense and go 'not my farm, not my horses,'" Katie said, "So excuse us if we step in!"

Genma solidified his stance. "I said, don't interfere, this is a matter between family!"

Katie bristled with fury. "And when you put it like THAT, now we HAVE to kick yer ass!"

She and Akane assumed their stances, before the taller girl shouted out.

"FUCK HIM UP!"

To Ranma's further surprise, Akane and Katie both shot towards his father with a speed that reminded him of Shampoo. But unlike that idiot, they moved with a purpose, force, and clarity of purpose he had yearned to see from her as they closed in on his father.

Genma, who had tacitly avoided every encounter with Shampoo by playing the part of a large, dumb panda bear–was not prepared for the surprise of two random teenage girls sliding on him at high speed. Akane reached him first, and before he could attempt to evade or parry–she drove a powerful left cross straight into his solar plexus.

"100," she said simply.

As with before, the air exploded from Genma's lungs, all at once in a guttural cough. He had no chance to reclaim it, however. Like with Kamaitachi during their battle with the sickle gang, Katie came right over Akane's head with a crisp flying crescent kick that caught Genma in his face.

Down Genma went, flipping head-over-foot stiff as a board until he hit a light pole with a clang. He then crumpled to the ground.

Katie landed and sneered. "101. Now, take no hurry getting up for the 102nd time, jackass."

"Oh," Ranma said, sounding like he now understood it. His exhaustion was hitting harder, now. "You're martial artists, too."

Both girls turned to him, Katie confirming it. "Guilty."

Akane wasn't going to let the window of opportunity close. "Yes, yes, we can discuss it on the way. Let's get out of here before he wakes up!"

She walked up to Ranma and took his hand. "Please, come with us, so we can get you away from that lunatic."

Ranma did not resist as Akane took his hand. "Uh… okay…?" As he was led off, he stared at his hand held in hers, and then at the headstrong girl herself. Katie, smiling at Akane's insistent kindness, followed…

… After going back over to Genma and giving him another swift kick in the head.


Classes weren't starting at Tomobiki High School. With the arrival of Mrs. Mendō, the student body was more interested with what her visit meant in the post-Shūtaro era. Ever since Mrs. Mendō and Nick entered the teachers' office, many students were gathered around or nearby, wondering what result would come from the discussion that nobody else was privy. Even other teachers had been driven out of the office, and the door was secured so no one could peek in.

Just outside the door, Sakura all but pressed her ear to the door, trying to make anything out. On the other side of the doorway, Ryūnosuke shook her head. "Ain't you the sort who's already short with people being nosy?"

Sakura turned her head away from the door and cleared her throat to try to look like she hadn't been doing anything of the sort.

"Even the blinds are pulled," Kōsuke reported to Hokuto and Ataru as he returned to his classmates in the hallway near the office doors. "Oi, Hokuto, can't you just smash down the door or something? You're big."

Hokuto declined. "No, my girlfriend would kill me and then my brothers would kill me again."

Ataru hummed. "Maybe I could get Lum to do it…"

"No thanks," Lum said as she floated above Ataru and his friends. "Sherman-sensei wants his privacy, and I'll respect that."

Looking up at her, Ataru pleaded. "Come on, don't you want to know what's going on…?"

Lum gave Ataru a smug look with half-lidded eyes before she turned away with a huff.

Hokuto hummed grimly. "She knows you want something and is holding out because you've been bad."

Ataru rolled his eyes and spoke out of the corner of his mouth to Kōsuke. "Get a look at the girlfriend-whisperer over here…"

Kōsuke did, with desperation in his eyes. "Teach me your ways, shishou!"

Hokuto ground his knuckles into the tops of both Kōsuke and Ataru's heads. "Piss off!"

Laughing as he broke free, Ataru turned towards Ryūnosuke, who was standing guard by the door to the office with Sakura. "Hey, Ryū-chan!"

"No."

She didn't even pause to think about her answer. Ataru just sighed and smiled at the tomboy. "… I can't even be mad at her, she's so cute."

Seeing Lum react with a sourer look at her fiancé, Hokuto lamented the sheer density of Moroboshi Ataru, but he was a friend, so…

"What do you suppose the odds are that Mendō will come back?" He asked, hoping to change the subject away from trying to break into the parent-teacher conference or upsetting Lum.

Before Ataru could open his mouth, Ryūnosuke cut him short again. "Don't. I want to keep hope alive for a little longer."

Nanto, walking over to the group, dashed that hope entirely. "There really is no point in asking for odds, being in Moroboshi's presence alone ensures the worst outcome." He flicked some of his long blonde hair in disdain. "It's a shame, too. We were just getting used to him not being around."

Kosuke and Hokuto had to agree, while Ataru grumbled.

Overhearing that, one of the girls among the many gathered in the hallway spoke up. "Being honest, I actually kind of miss having Mendō around."

Another girl beside her agreed. "Yeah, that lunch thing was kind of scummy, but he was never not a gentleman to any of us."

A third girl chimed in. "Plus, we did lose a lot of male aesthetics when he left…"

Yet another girl agreed. "Aside from him and Nanto, there aren't many boys worth looking at, no…"

"What about Hokuto?"

"Look at him at your own peril."

Ryūnosuke took offense to that. "Hey, ain't you the same girls that joined in the fight when I told you what his game really was?"

Ataru threw up a fist and shouted in support. "Yeah, get 'em!"

One of the girls answered her. "Well, yeah, we didn't want our freedom to go out to lunch taken away, and we got that!"

As the others nodded, yet another girl spoke up. "We can still want Mendō back; he was still nice and did all sorts of things for us."

Ryūnosuke's disgust was matched by her male classmates and Nanto. Even Ataru, who was hard-pressed to say a bad thing about a woman who wasn't his mother or Lum, looked away from the shallow and materialistic girls pining for the return of Mendō like he was their sugar daddy, and the rent was due.

A growl that was closer to the sound of someone covering up a retch caught everyone's ear. "You all make me sick!"

All eyes turned to the girl who'd spoken. The tall, short-haired student, dressed in the t-shirt and shorts required for gym, sneered in disgust as she walked up to the group of girls.

The girl who confessed to wanting Mendō back especially gasped. "C-Captain Natsuko!"

Nanto shook his head. "The Volleyball Ogre, Natsuko…"

Ataru was surprised. "Oh, I forgot about her."

Natsuko looked left and right. "'Oh, Mendō was so nice! Oh, Mendō did things for us! Oh, Mendō has so much money and looks so good!'" She said in a sing-song falsetto before she spat on the ground.

"PUH-LEASE! Could any of you chicks be more pathetic? Mooning over that sissy just because you miss the money he threw around! You all should be ashamed for being so obvious about it!"

Natsuko spiked it home like it was a volleyball. "Buncha Moroboshis in dresses and somehow worse to look at."

As the other girls recoiled from the harsh rebuke, Ryūnosuke was relieved that there was a girl around here with her head screwed on right. "Thank you!" She praised Natsuko. "They're being irrational as hell, right now."

Turning to Ryūnosuke, Natsuko's scowl sharpened. "Nobody was talking to you, teacher's pet."

Ryūnosuke recoiled at the unexpected shot at her. So much for having her head screwed on right. "Well, you can get bent too, bitch."

With a swagger, Natsuko stepped into Ryūnosuke's personal space. "Haah? What was that?"

Ryūnosuke squared up to her with no hesitation. "You're asking me! I don't even know who you are, so what's with your attitude?"

Ataru popped up to muscle between them, while gesturing to Natsuko. "Ah, Ryū-chan, this babe here is Natsuko–!"

Reaching up as he spoke, Natsuko placed her hand on his face and shoved him back. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just don't have patience for any girl who needs a man in her life."

Ataru came up again, placing his hands on their shoulders to push them apart. "She's captain of the volleyball team and–!"

He was summarily no-look backhanded by Ryūnosuke for laying on hands as she grew more agitated. "You must not have one, then, because starting shit like this is pretty fatherless behavior."

Natsuko's eyes grew wide with the hostility she was coming at Ryūnosuke with. "Tell me, Tomboy, why is your new Daddy so much nicer than your old one? He really likes dressing you up!"

That drilled deep into Ryūnosuke, and she got ready to swing. "Oh, fuck you–!"

Ataru came back again, trying to dive in between them. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out! There's a line–!"

Sakura grabbed the side of Ataru's head and threw him away before she bodily intervened herself. "Loath as I am to say it, he's right!" She roared as she got between them. She turned to Natsuko, her glare fiery as she pointed at her. "You. Back to your classroom!"

She looked at all the other students yammering around her. "All of you, back to your classes! Or I'll start handing out detentions!"

Backpedaling as everyone began to clear out, Natsuko made sure Ryūnosuke saw her pulling down her right lower eyelid with her middle finger and sticking her tongue out at her as she retreated.

Sakura pointed at her. "Detention! No Volleyball after class, Natsuko!"

"Nah, let her go!" Ryūnosuke growled while Sakura held her back from pursuing the fleeing antagonist. "I'll catch her at gym!"

She pushed off from Sakura's arm, seething. "Seriously, who the heck was that? What's her beef with me?!"

Lum floated over, looking back. "I don't know, but Natsuko-cha is very aggressive, very strong, and always angry." She tapped a finger on her cheek. "Actually, when we first met you, you reminded me a lot of her."

Ryūnosuke huffed, trying to rein in her rage. "What's her excuse?!"

Sakura was surprised Ryūnosuke acknowledged her past life rather than being offended at the comparison to her.

Lum made a face. "She's probably very insecure about her looks and that you're more popular than her."

Ryūnosuke and Sakura both looked at Lum, who seemed a lot more about it than she normally was with her flighty alien ways. "I was on the Volleyball Team with her for two weeks until I was kicked off for being an unfair advantage, she was annoying."

That had Tomobiki's greatest tomboy flummoxed. "Wait, so she straight up doesn't like me."

"Yes, you have a hater," Lum confirmed.

She had to admit, with how girls would follow her around like they did Mendō, she never thought there'd be any who just did not like her. "… Ah."

Ataru shook his head, lamenting the conflict already. "There is nothing worse in the world, than watching two pretty girls fight each other. Except when they're wearing swimsuits and fighting mud, whipped cream, or scented oil–!"

Lum took aim and zapped Ataru with enough force to drop him. "Disgusting."

Ryūnosuke snorted. "I'm kicking her ass next time I see her."

Sakura turned to her. "Whatever you do, consult your father, first."

Saying it like that had its intended effect, as Ryūnosuke felt warm and fuzzy from Sakura acknowledging her and Nick's relationship. She sighed. "Fine, I will…"

Lum thought it was sweet. "Aw, you called Sherman-sensei her Papa."

Sakura nodded. "I may as well."

The door to the teacher's office opened, and Ryūnosuke, Sakura, and Lum moved back as Mrs. Mendō emerged. Walking with her head held up, and a gloved hand raised to conceal her lips, there was no hiding the smile and the satisfaction that radiated from her. Regarding the students and school nurse with a nod, she left for the front doors of the school without a word.

Sakura was stunned at the woman's metamorphosis. She had gone from stern and imposing to compliant and polite when she went into the office, and now that she was leaving, she was glowing with joy. Knowing what she knew of the Shermans, she whirled upon Nick as he stepped out into the hallway.

"Huh, still a few of you out here," he said, "Ain't classes start a half-hour ago–?"

"YOU DIDN'T!" Sakura yelled.

Nick scooted back, surprised at her outburst. "Did what?"

"Really? Mrs. Mendō?! In the office?!" She demanded, incredulous.

Nick held up a finger. "I believe you have to name the murder weapon as well in Clue, hon."

"ME IN THE HALL WITH MY FIST!" Sakura shouted as she swung on Nick.

Expertly he deflected her punch. "I'm sorry, Sakura, but are you doin' that thing again where your severely repressed mind runs away with lurid ideas? Because all we did was talk, and Mrs. Mendō found the conclusion we reached satisfactory."

"So you did not seduce her?" Sakura demanded.

Nick recoiled at the very idea. "I wouldn't do anything so inappropriate at school at all, much less during class hours."

Ryūnosuke turned and gave Sakura a condemning look. "You need to call up your man and get those needs tended to."

And on the third innuendo, he rose. "Do not worry, for I am here."

Nick let go of Sakura's wrist so she could punch Ataru faster than Lum could zap him. As he went into a wall, he shook his head. "Shootin' your shot whenever you have one is never wrong, but that's all dependin' on having one, son."

Ryūnosuke was just disgusted. "If Ataru's game were basketball, he wouldn't have a hoop on most courts."

A dark laugh left Nick. "If Ataru's game were basketball, he'd be on a golf course–"

Ryūnosuke snapped to it, understanding where he was going with this. "Eighteen holes and no way to score!"

"HA!" Nick barked out, Ryūnosuke joining in with a chuckle of her own.

Sakura, wide eyed, brought a hand to her mouth and looked away as she tried not to laugh at the crude joke

Lum didn't get it.

Ataru was dreaming of Sakura hitting him even harder in his unconscious daze.

"Anyway, speaking of shooters, I gotta go talk shop with the Principal," Nick said as he headed down the hall.

Quickly both Ryūnosuke and Sakura moved to follow him, the latter asking. "Wait, Sherman-sensei, what did you and the Lady Mendō discuss?"

Ryūnosuke was concerned as well. "Yeah, is that dimwit coming back here or what?"

Nick looked back. "That all depends."

"On what?" They both asked as Nick reached the office.

Nick knocked on the door as he answered them. "… The Principal."


Looks like a good first impression has been made. Speaking of impressions, I wonder what's got Mrs. Mendō so pleased?