Kensi woke up with a terrible headache and feeling completely unrested. It took her a moment to remember why she felt so awful, then it came back to her with awful, stunning clarity.

She'd kissed Deeks. Or he'd kissed her. Either way, she hadn't stopped it.

Honestly, Kensi couldn't say exactly why she'd decided to cross that boundary. Maybe it was a desperate attempt to connect to Deeks when he couldn't remember anything about their relationship. At least that sounded better than taking advantage of her recently concussed partner's memory loss.

The last time they'd kissed had been fleeting and underscored by the immediate danger of their undercover operation. This time, she'd had enough to remember and appreciate the feel of Deeks' lips on hers, the softness of his hair between her fingers, and the overwhelming desire that filled her. Then, after admitting how much she'd wanted to kiss him, she'd run off like a lunatic.

Groaning, Kensi rolled onto her stomach and pushed her face into her pillow. She'd just made their already complicated relationship that much messier. Their next interaction was going to be incredibly awkward.

She sat up suddenly as she realized the sun shone brightly through her open curtains. Ignoring the pain that spiked through her forehead, and grabbed her watch.

"Dammit!" she hissed. It was after seven, which meant she'd left Deeks to fend for himself for over twelve hours.

Fumbling for her phone, she checked for any new messages. Realistically, she hadn't expected Deeks to contact her, but she was still disappointed when her only notification included a meme from Nell. Normally, Deeks would have sent her half a dozen messages, pretending nothing awkward had happened.

After a few moments of hesitating with her thumbs hovering over the keypad, she typed out a simple message.

Hey, how are you doing?

Kensi waited a full five minutes for a response. When none came, she put her phone to the side, and slid out of bed. He was probably just sleeping and didn't need her hovering over him.

She managed to forget about Deeks for approximately two minutes straight while getting ready. As she brushed her hair, her thoughts started to spiral again.

What if something had happened to him? He could be sick from another bout of vertigo. Or god, what if the doctors were wrong and he actually had a brain bleed?

That last thought stopped her mid-brush through her hair. She couldn't risk it. Throwing her still-damp her back in a clip, she pulled on the first pair of shoes she found, grabbed her keys, and texted Nell on her way out the door to say she'd be running a couple hours late.


Kensi knocked on Deeks' front door for the third time, waiting impatiently for some sound of life. Again, images of Deeks passed out in the middle of the floor assaulted her and she started to reach for her keys again, intending to use the emergency key Deeks gave her during their first year as partners.

Just as she started reach for the lock, she heard a bolt being thrown and the door opened a few inches. Deeks' face appeared in the opening; he squinted at her, wincing against the morning light.

"Kensi?" he said after a slightly too long pause.

"Hey." Now that he was in front of her, clearly alive, if not completely well, she felt a little foolish.

"What are you doing here?"

"I—um, I just wanted to check in on you. I didn't hear from you all night," she explained, automatically doing her own assessment.

He looked awful. His skin had that slightly grayish tinge she associated with sickness with darker stripes under his eyes.

"I am so sorry," she apologized, and Deeks gave her a confused look.

"Why?"

"For abandoning you. I said I'd stay with you and then I just left, and now look at you."

"I'd be offended if I didn't feel so terrible," he said, and Kensi's guilt surged. He opened the door a little wider, turning away as he waved her through with a grimace. "Come in. It's too bright out here."

All the blinds and curtains were drawn inside, leaving the living room as dark as it could get during the daytime. The coffee table had a few cups that hadn't been there yesterday and a collection of random objects that made Kensi think Deeks had been trying to distract himself.

Making himself comfortable on the couch, Deeks rested his cheek on his fist, suppressing a yawn.

"Do you want some coffee or tea? I can make some. Or breakfast. I mean, I don't really cook, but I can pour cereal or go out and get you something," Kensi offered.

"Coffee sounds nice," he sighed. "But you don't have to wait on me."

"I don't mind." She hurried off before Deeks could question her motives or she could say or do anything else to embarrass herself.

It took about ten minutes for the coffee to brew, and like a complete coward, she didn't leave the kitchen the entire time. She poured them each a cup, carrying it back out to the living room.

Deeks had switched from one side of the couch to the other, an arm thrown over her face. She thought he might be sleeping until he peeked out from under his elbow, sitting up enough to accept the coffee.

"Thanks." He inhaled deeply and took a cautious sip.

Kensi stayed standing, acutely aware of the uncomfortable silence, but not sure how to break it.

"So, are we going to talk about why you left last night?" Deeks asked, cutting right to the chase.

"I don't know, I was kind of hoping we'd ignore it. Go on with our lives like it never happened," she joked.

"Ouch." The word didn't have its usual snap behind it, but once again it was such a Deeks thing, her Deeks, to say, she found herself moving closer. "Obviously you can do whatever you want, but it doesn't seem particularly healthy."

Well, that was the understatement of the year. Sitting on the other side of the couch, Kensi heaved a sigh. It was so hard to dent Deeks anything when he was hurt and confused.

"We have a 'thing'," she explained, gesturing expansively with her hands to encompass their unique relationship.

"A 'thing'," Deeks repeated dubiously.

"You know, we flirt and probably have way too much physical comments, but never actually talk about how we might feel and mostly pretend nothing's going on."

"That sounds…confusing."

"Yeah, well, we're kind of a mess," she admitted, and Deeks laughed softly, his grin lazy, and a little slow.

"So when we kissed last night—?" He gave her a questioning look and she ran her hands over her thighs before facing him fully.

"It was the first time."

"Wow."

"Yeah." She offered him a grim smile, clutching her mug of coffee like it would solve all her problems.

"Where does that leave us?" Deeks wondered.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with any of that just yet." She gestured again to indicate the kiss. "I do know I'm not going anywhere, I mean unless you ask me to get out." Deeks smiled again and it gave her the courage to continue. "You're my partner and friend and I will be here with you and for you as long as I can."

"I think I can handle that." Holding out his free hand, Deeks waited for her to bridge the gap between them and take it. When she did, he squeezed with just enough pressure for it to feel like a promise.