TWENTY SEVEN
Brenda called Lois as soon as she returned from Florence and of course Lois thought she overreacted.
She wasn't the only one.
Kristina felt the same.
They both believed Christian's response was rooted in anger.
He was still upset about Jax when she asked him that.
So, that's why he said what he said.
Lois even said there were times when she was angry with Ned and if someone would have asked her that, she may have said the same thing.
It didn't mean she actually meant it.
Brenda didn't really believe that.
Lois loved Ned, she would never say that.
She believed Christian meant what he said.
And things were different when it came to him because he was used to his freedom.
He ever dated seriously before her.
He was used to a certain lifestyle.
One that was free from commitment.
It was a huge possibility that he missed his life.
And on top of that he never called her.
Lois had an answer for that too.
She thought he was just being stubborn.
She also tried to talk Brenda out of filing for divorce.
Brenda, of course, didn't listen.
Lois told her that she was going to regret it but Brenda felt like she made the right choice.
And after the divorce was final, she decided that she never wanted to hear his name again.
Their relationship was over and she wanted to move on.
And everyone needed to move on with them….
It is seven months after Brenda left Florence.
Two months after getting divorced.
She is still living in Seattle.
And still living in the condo.
She was also still driving the Audi.
Both purchased by Christian.
But she was surrounded by things that were given to her by Christian.
Her condo would be empty if she got rid of everything.
She actually thought about giving up her condo and moving to a highrise, but she changed her mind.
She didn't want to have to deal with elevators and parking.
And she liked her condo.
She also liked the area.
She also liked her garage and the fact that she could just pull up in it.
So, she decided to stay put…..
Brenda kept her condo but her living arrangements had changed.
She had a new roommate.
Brenda adopted a puppy, a few months after returning from Florence.
A Yorkie that she named Joanne.
Her friends thought she was crazy for naming the dog, Joanne, but she didn't care.
She felt like the name fit.
And at the end of the day it was her dog, she could choose whatever name she wanted.
She loved her from the first moment she laid eyes on her.
It was bittersweet picking her out, because she was supposed to have picked out a dog with Christian, but that never happened.
When she married him, she thought that they would be sharing so much together, but that just wasn't in the cards anymore.
Life had taken them in different directions, or maybe she took them in different directions when she left Florence and divorced him.
Regardless, life went on…..…..
Brenda eventually ended up having a sit down with Jax.
It happened about three months after she left Florence.
Since things were over with Christian, they could have that talk.
And it was needed.
They met in New York at a restaurant.
She apologized as soon as she sat down. "I'm so sorry, Jax."
"Brenda, it isn't your fault. I kissed you. It's more my fault than yours."
She was desperate to hear his side of things.
So, they ordered and started discussing what happened between him and Christian.
"Why did you agree to meet with him?"
"Because I thought he wanted to talk man to man. I wasn't going to run from the conversation."
"Jax, did you really tell him you had feelings for me? Because that was news to me."
"Brenda, he asked if I ever felt anything for you. I couldn't lie, because I did. But I learned early on that you loved him. You made that very clear. I had no intentions of acting on anything. And we became such good friends. I valued our friendship. Kissing you was a mistake and it should have never happened. And I really regret it."
"How did he end up hitting you?"
"After I told him that there was a time I had feelings for you, he felt like I was pretending to be your friend, just so that I could get close to you, and that's when he hit me. Of course as a man I had to defend myself." He laughed. "That didn't go well. Is the guy training for the UFC?"
"I mean…he works out a lot. Honestly, I don't know."
Jax smiled. "I was just kidding, but he has been training for something."
Brenda was still horrified by what happened.
She didn't think any of it was funny. "I'm so sorry. I had no clue he was flying to New York to meet with you. He didn't tell me anything."
"I survived, but your relationship didn't. Brenda, I feel like you two broke up because of me, and I am so sorry. I feel horrible."
"Jax, it's not your fault. I think we just married too soon. We had been fighting before you ever laid a hand on me."
"But if I never kissed you, I think you two would still be together."
"Maybe, maybe not. I don't know."
"I hate to see you sad. And you are sad. I can see it in your eyes."
"I'll be ok, Jax. And please, whatever you do, don't blame yourself."
Brenda had no ill feelings towards Jax and because things were over with Christian, they decided to continue their friendship.
Lois thought they were going to start dating, but Brenda assured her that was never going to happen.
She had no romantic feelings for Jax.
He was just a friend….
The months passed one after the other.
Brenda spent that time after returning from Florence and getting divorced…working.
She wanted to stay busy.
She needed to stay busy.
It kept her mind off of…things.
Wherever she went, Joanne went too.
She never left her behind.
Joanne had to get used to traveling.
She was scared the first few times, but now she was a little pro.
Brenda loved that dog.
She was the perfect companion and she was so well behaved.
The crews on her photoshoot sets adored Joanne.
One of the best decisions Brenda made was getting her.
She added so much to her life…
Brenda had yet to start dating.
She just wasn't ready.
Any free time she had, she spent time with her friends and her dog.
One Saturday afternoon, she decided to take Joanne to the park.
It was cool out.
She put Joanne on a cute pink jacket and matching pants.
She loved to dress her up.
She had already purchased so many outfits for her.
Her philosophy was, if she was cold, so was Joanne.
There were quite a few people at the park that day, which didn't shock her.
It was beautiful out.
The sun was shining so it made it feel warmer than the fifty degrees it was.
She was sitting in the grass playing with Joanne, when she saw a figure she recognized.
And Taylor was with him.
Her heart skipped a beat.
She had not seen him since Florence.
They looked like they just got finished running or something.
They were busy talking and stretching when a couple of women walked up to them.
She could tell the women were nervous, just by the way they approached them.
They talked for a few minutes and then one of the women shook Christian's hand.
Brenda could tell she was nervous because she could hardly stand still.
He had that effect on women.
And he was still gorgeous as ever, but then again why wouldn't he be?
She could see the woman smiling from where she was sitting, which was a good distance from them.
Smiling and playing with her hair.
She was definitely flirting with him.
And he was receptive to it.
She knew that, because she knew him.
Maybe he had started dating instead of having submissives?
Or maybe he was on the prowl for another one?
But maybe he already had one?
All of a sudden, Brenda stopped looking.
What was she doing?
This was insane.
That wasn't any of her business.
He was not her husband.
He was free to do whatever he wanted.
And she was sure he was doing just that.
She scooped up Joanne and left….
It's later, Brenda is on the phone talking to Lois.
"So, I saw my…ex husband today."
Lois yelled. "We have been talking for half an hour and now you mention that!"
"Calm down, Lois. He didn't see me. I was at the park with Joanne and I looked up and saw him and Taylor. They were talking to a couple of women."
"That had to be hard."
"Lois, he can do what he wants. We are no longer married."
"Brenda, I know you. I know that you miss him. You don't have to say it. I also think you know you made a mistake, and that you should have talked to him about how he felt and how you felt, instead of running away."
"It's done, Lois. The papers have been signed. All parties have moved on."
"You haven't. You won't even date."
"I'm not ready."
"You are not ready because you still love your ex husband. See, I didn't even say his name."
Brenda laughed. "You are doing great."
"But seriously, you still love him. I know it. Everybody knows it."
"I'll get over it. I got over Sonny."
"He married someone else and he is also in the mob. I think that was easier to get over."
"The man probably hates my guts, Lois. In fact, I'm sure he does. I left him in another country. I am actually dreading the day we run into each other. I don't know when it is going to happen, but I know it will not be pretty. I'm hoping he ignores me."
Lois laughed. "He just might."
"I'm also hoping that we never run into each other."
"You could move back to Port Charles?"
"No, Seattle is home now. I don't want to leave."
"You don't want to leave, because your nameless ex is there."
"No, I really love Seattle and it's over between me and him. As you keep saying he is my ex husband. I divorced him, Lois."
"People get remarried all the time."
"That's not in the cards for us. I'm sure he is enjoying the single life. In fact I'm sure of it, I saw evidence of that today. And on top of that, I'm pretty sure he hates me."
"Hate is a strong word."
"If Ned left you in another country and divorced you, how would you feel?"
"I'd be on the run because I would have tracked him down and killed him."
Brenda laughed. "I'm sure that nameless guy feels the same. Lois, I really…truly cannot believe I did that."
"I can't believe you did that either. It took you long enough! Because for a long time you did not get it. You did not see anything wrong. As time passes, the reflection at some point starts. You must have been thinking about it a lot?"
"I have. I did not handle that well. I was just so hurt by what he said."
"You asked, Brenda. He was still angry. He obviously really didn't mean it. He insisted that you go on the trip with him. If he really felt that way, he would have taken that opportunity to distance himself from you."
"I guess."
"So, what are you going to do?"
Brenda was confused. "About what?'
"The whole situation."
"Nothing. I have to move on, because he has moved on. He is entertaining women and he has every right. One day I'll start dating. It's just not today. I have learned a lot from this situation though and the next time I'm in a relationship, I'll communicate better."
"We all live and we all learn, Bren…"
Brenda spent the next few weeks traveling off and on.
She was so happy when she got a decent break.
She had worked so much after Florence that it was finally catching up to her.
It was really time to scale back.
She spent her break resting and catching up with Kristina and the rest of her friends.
Life had changed so much for her and Kristina.
Kristina had gotten her real estate license and she was doing really well.
She had just moved to a highrise with her boyfriend and she was having a dinner to celebrate.
It was only for her close friends.
Brenda was so happy for her.
They both really started from the bottom, working at the restaurant together.
And now, look at them…..
Kristina's dinner was on a Saturday night.
Brenda wore a pair of black skinny jeans, a corset top, black heels, and a leather jacket.
She pulled her hair up into a curly ponytail.
She started to take Joanne with her, but ended up leaving her at home.
She was comfortable staying by herself so that wasn't a problem…
The building was so nice.
And from the moment Brenda stepped inside, she could tell it was high end.
The lobby was beautiful.
She was starting to rethink her decision.
Maybe she should have moved into a highrise?
That only lasted a few seconds.
She still preferred her condo.
It was better than great.
She walked towards the elevator and saw that the doors were about to close, when she called out, "Hold the elevator, please!"
The doors opened.
She rushed towards them. "Thank you, so much!"
She walked in and paused.
Of all days, of all places, of all people.
God…no.
It was Mia…and Christian.
Mia looked horrified.
She couldn't even hide it.
She looked briefly at Christian and back at Brenda.
Brenda really thought about turning around, but it was too late she was already on the elevator.
She just said a quick hello.
Mia managed a smile and even hugged her. "Hello. What floor?"
"Um…ten."
Mia pressed the button.
Brenda thanked her. "Thanks."
Christian was standing in the back.
Mia was obviously trying to do what she could to ease the tension. "You don't live here do you?"
Brenda shook her head. "No, one of my best friends just moved here. She is having a little dinner to celebrate."
"I live just a few floors down from her. I'm on the seventh floor."
"Really?"
Mia nodded. "Yep, she will love it. I've been living here for the last two years. It is really great."
"That's wonderful. I hope she will enjoy her time here too."
Christian didn't say a word.
And Brenda did not look his way.
She just wanted their floor to come, so they could get off.
This was awkward as hell.
And the tension was…thick.
Eventually, the bell went off and the doors opened.
Mia walked off. "Take care, Brenda."
"You too, Mia."
Christian was on his way out too, but all of sudden he stopped, and blocked the doors from closing. "Mia….go ahead. I'll be there in a minute."
Mia did not think that was a good idea. "Christian, please don't. Just let it go. I think you should just come with me."
"Mia, go, I'll be there in a minute."
He got back on the elevator and the doors closed.
He turned and faced her. "How are you, Brenda?"
She didn't say a word because that was not a question he really wanted an answer to.
"I haven't seen you since you left my ass in Florence, no goodbye or anything. Well, you did leave me that bullshit letter. You asked me for my honest opinion and then you got upset when I gave it to you!"
She tried to remain calm.
She knew this day was going to come. "You told me that you regretted being with me. So, I made the choice to free you."
"You asked me while I was still angry about Jax! Of course I was feeling like that at that moment, because you still didn't understand why I was even angry!"
"That's not true. I understood why you were angry. I just didn't understand why you flew to New York."
"I don't understand why you left my ass in Florence!"
The bell went off and the doors opened.
Brenda got off and he followed her.
She stopped and turned to him.
She just wanted him to say what he needed to say and leave.
She did not want to ruin Kristina's dinner.
He was still going. "And on top of leaving me in Florence, which I thought was fucked up! You go home and pack all of your shit and move out!"
"I told you, Christian. I was giving you an out."
"Did I ask for an out?! Maybe you are the one that wanted an out because you are the one that filed for divorce!"
"You obviously wanted it too, you didn't stop it."
"Why would I?! You obviously wanted out of the marriage! I'm not begging you to stay with me. Fuck that! I honestly don't know who I fucking married. You were obviously telling a fucking lie when you said your vows. All that, through it all I'm riding with you bullshit! Your heart is safe with me. All of that shit was a goddamn lie, because you don't give a fuck about me or my heart! You didn't mean any of that shit! I mean…you dated another man while you were married to me and then when the son of a bitch kissed you, you got mad at me for whipping his ass!"
"Ok, Christian, you are right. Are you done?"
He pressed the button on the elevator. "This is such a waste of goddamn time because you still don't give a fuck! The day you walked in that casting was not the happiest day of my life. It was the fucking worst day of my life. I wish I never met your ass. And if I'm lucky, I will never lay eyes on your lying ass face again."
"Are you done, Christian?!"
The elevator door opened and he got on.
He blocked the doors from closing. "Tell me, how long did it take for you to fuck Jax? One week or two?"
She was sick of his jabs. "It was sooner than that! In fact, I left Florence and flew straight to him!"
"I should have just fucked you, paid you, and sent you on your way."
She threw her purse at him and it narrowly missed his face.
He picked it up and tossed it back out of the elevator. "Brenda, that's not how you solve anything. You can't go around using violence."
She leaned down and picked up her purse. "Fuck you, Christian."
"You already did that shit."
She was fighting back tears now. "I really hate you."
"I already know that, because you sure as hell never loved me. I don't wish you the best, I wish you the fucking worst."
"Ok, Christian! I got it! Bye!"
"Fuck you, Brenda."
"Fuck you, Christian."
She was done.
She turned and walked off.
She heard the elevator doors close.
Brenda realized that some of the people on Kristina's floor were peeking out of their doors.
She didn't even notice that they had an audience.
Kristina walked out of her door and towards her. "Are you ok? Because that was intense."
"I'm fine. Well, we finally ran into each other. It obviously did not go well. But I don't want to talk about it. Most of all, I don't want to ruin your dinner. Let's just table that for another day."
Kristina nodded and they headed inside her apartment.
Mia was standing in the same spot as she was when Christian got on the elevator.
They were so loud, she heard them three floors down.
The elevator opened and he got off.
"Christian, are you ok? I heard you two all the way down here."
"No, I am not ok. And no, I don't want to talk about it. Just give me something to drink."
They headed down to her apartment….
Brenda managed to get through dinner.
And she was happy the dinner turned out nice.
She would have never forgiven herself if she ruined things for Kristina and Michael.
That night was about them not her…..
Brenda got home late.
She took Joanne out as soon as she got home and then took a shower.
In the shower is where she just let it all out, after holding it in for so long.
She didn't intend for it to happen, it just happened.
Everything he said just came rushing back.
Every single word.
She had never seen him so angry.
Not even when he found out Jax kissed her.
He wasn't only angry, he was hurt.
She knew him well enough to know that.
And he most definitely hated her guts…..
After she finished her shower, she pulled on a pajama set and got into bed.
Joanne curled up against her.
Brenda rubbed her. "Don't ever fall in love, it never turns out right…."
