Castiel lay in the queen-sized bed, a sleeping Dean held gently yet firmly in his arms. He loved mornings like this. Before the rest of the base came to life and the training started, it was just him and Dean. Peaceful. Still. Castiel wished the moment could last forever.

Lately, the time he had to be alone with Dean was scarce. It seemed Lt. Ketch was there constantly, especially when Dean wasn't there. Ketch ate every meal with Castiel. The man was very friendly, taking the time to explain things to Castiel. That was especially helpful in what he was told about the mission. The danger posed by his nestmates, especially Michael and Raphael, was sobering. The sooner he was strong and well-trained to fight them, the better for everyone. Meanwhile, Ketch and Dean had apparently worked things out between them, especially when it came to flight training. So far, Dean had spent a great deal of time in the simulator, but had yet to actually fly with Castiel. Meanwhile, Ketch was spending the bulk of his time in Castiel's saddle. The latest training was endurance training, Ketch pushing Castiel to fly higher, faster, and farther, to the point he couldn't even talk to Dean. That was upsetting, so upsetting that Castiel had immediately ignored Ketch's orders the first time it happened and gone straight back to where he could again contact Dean. But Dean, surprisingly, encouraged Castiel to keep going.

"You can't limit your range like that, Cass," Dean had told him. "Yeah, it's harder when you can't communicate with your rider, but you need to be able to go where you're needed, no matter where I happen to be."

Castiel thought that was absurd. If Dean would simply ride him, it wouldn't be an issue. But by now, he knew better than to press the issue. Dean became visibly upset and uncomfortable any time flying came up. For now, Castiel had to be content with Dean's continued progress in the simulator.

"Good morning!" Ketch called, coming through the door without warning and entering the small cage where Castiel slept with Dean. "Are you two still in bed? Get up, it's a big day and time is wasting!"

Dean, Castiel had quickly learned, was an angry sleeper. The look he gave Ketch could have blistered paint. Fortunately, Ketch had learned the best way to handle a grumpy morning Dean and handed him a cup. Dean sat up, took the cup, and quickly downed the coffee. Finished, he smacked his lips and looked irritably at Ketch. "What's with you?" he asked. "What's so special about today?"

"Today, the project directors will be here to evaluate our progress," Ketch explained. "Castiel and I need to be in top condition."

Dean brightened, turning back to smile at Castiel. "Hey, you hear that? Today is your day to shine, buddy, the bigwigs are coming to check you out!"

"Does that mean you will be riding me?" Castiel asked, sitting up to look hopefully at Dean.

Dean's smile vanished. "Um, I don't think they'll be too impressed with us running around on the ground and then changing riders for the flight stuff," he said. "Lt. Ketch should probably just do it all."

"That is the plan, yes," Ketch said tactfully, smiling at Castiel. "Don't worry, we'll be fine. You've been doing wonderfully with your training, Castiel."

"But I thought Dean…?" Castiel looked again at Dean, but Dean was already heading for the curtained-off bathroom area.

"I gotta get a shower," Dean called without looking back.

"Ok." Castiel tried not to let the disappointment show in his voice.

Ketch, however, seemed to catch on. He frowned in Dean's direction when the shower turned on. Then he turned to Castiel. "There now, don't be upset," he soothed, squeezing the dragon's shoulder. "Chin up. You and I have flown together enough now that we know each other well, right? We'll ace this demonstration, impress the directors, and everyone will be happy. You don't need Winchester to be your incredible self."

Castiel looked down. "I want him, though," he said quietly.

Ketch looked at him thoughtfully. Moving forward, he sat down on the bed next to Castiel. "Castiel," he began, "I don't want to be too forward, but it seems to me as though the two of you are in a bit of a rough spot."

"I guess," Castiel admitted unhappily. "I wish he'd spend more time with me. I know he doesn't want to be locked in here all the time, but I thought he enjoyed riding me?"

"I can't say that he doesn't, as long as you're on the ground," Ketch offered. "The problem is, you're hardly expected to be fighting on the ground. You're a flying dragon, you'll be facing other flying dragons, and the directors want to see you fly."

"Why can't we do both?" Castiel asked. "You can ride me for the flying part, and he can do the ground?"

Ketch shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Castiel brightened. "You don't mind?"

"Of course not, why would I mind?" Slipping an arm around Castiel, Ketch gave him a half-hug. "We both know that you're amazing both on the ground and in the air. I see no reason Winchester can't do a ground demo after we do the air portion, if that's what the directors want. Whatever makes you happy."

Castiel gave him a bright smile. "Thank you."

"Of course!" With a final pat to Castiel's shoulder, Ketch got up. He headed for the door, but hesitated. "I was going to go and meet with the project directors, but that can wait. Would you like some company for breakfast?"

"Dean will be finished soon, but you're welcome to stay, too?" Castiel offered.

Ketch smiled. "I'd like that. Let me get a tray and I'll be right back."

Castiel nodded and settled back to wait for Dean to finish. He hated eating alone and was glad he'd have both Dean and Ketch joining him for breakfast. It was nice that the two of them were getting along now. Better yet, Dean would be able to ride him in the demonstration. Castiel was willing to put up with a rider who wasn't his bondmate, so long as his true rider also got to show off for the directors.

The aerial demonstration seemed to have gone well. The directors were clapping and cheering when Ketch brought Castiel down to a landing near them. "Well done, Lt. Ketch," one of them called. "You've gained remarkable control over your dragon."

Castiel waited for Ketch to correct the man. He wasn't Ketch's dragon, he was Dean's. But Ketch only climbed down and moved to shake hands with the directors. Castiel snorted. "Dean, tell them that I'm not his dragon," he insisted.

"They know, buddy." Dean had come up to pet Castiel's nose. "It's a figure of speech, that's all. It's just because he's flying you."

Castiel still wasn't happy. He gently bumped Dean with his head, trying to urge his bondmate into his saddle. "Now it's your turn to ride me. We should show them how well you and I can do, now that they've seen Ketch. Then they'll see whose dragon I really am."

"Um, I don't think so," Dean said, ducking out of the way. "I told you, they're not interested in ground maneuvers. They wanted the air show and they got it. Now they're heading back in, see? The demonstration is over."

"But they never got to see us together," Castiel protested, looking anxiously at the directors. Sure enough, they already had their backs to them, heading toward the building with Ketch. Only the handlers remained, coming forward to bring Castiel back into the building. Castiel looked at Dean and finally realized that his bondmate wasn't wearing his riding suit. It looked strongly as though Dean had never planned on riding Castiel in the first place. Castiel gave a low moan of protest. "Tell them to come back! They need to see how well we do on the ground together. You're my bondmate, and you should get a chance to show off, too."

"Cass, it's ok," Dean soothed. "I knew I wasn't riding today, and I'm fine with it."

"But it's not fair!"

"No one ever said things would be fair," Dean pointed out gently. "Today was about how well you can fly with Ketch. But you're right. You're not his dragon, you're mine. We're still bondmates and we'll always be bondmates. Who cares about who rides you in demonstrations?"

Castiel cared. He cared a great deal, but if Dean didn't, what right did he have to protest? With a weary sigh, the dragon lowered his head. "Alright, Dean. I guess I'll see you for lunch, then."

"Sure, buddy, I'll be there. Head back in and get your saddle off."

Castiel nodded and headed back inside.

"Wow, you can talk to the dragon? That is amazing!"

Dean had been about to follow Cass back inside when the woman's voice stopped him. Turning, he saw a hot girl in a tight outfit strolling up to him. He smiled. "That he is. I'm Private Dean Winchester, and you are…?"

She extended a hand. "Bella. Bella Talbot. I'm here with the bigwigs for the demonstration, but it seems like they don't need me now." She rolled her eyes. "What do you say about showing me around, maybe having lunch with me?"

Dean cocked an elbow for her to take and gave her another smile. "I'd be happy to."

Ketch pulled up a chair so he could sit across from the dragon and handed Castiel a small item wrapped in a paper towel. "I brought you one of your sandwiches."

"Thank you." Castiel happily bit into the sandwich, enjoying the taste of peanut butter and jelly. He was glad it was jelly. He found jam disturbing. After taking one bite, he put the sandwich back down and sat back in his chair, his eyes on the door.

Ketch, who had started to eat as well, frowned. "You're surely eating more than one bite?"

"Yes, but I'm waiting for Dean," Castiel explained. "I want to save most of it so I'll be able to eat with him."

Ketch stilled. "Castiel, I don't think Private Winchester is coming to join us for lunch today," he said quietly. "When I went to get my tray and your sandwich I saw him in the lunch room with a young lady. They both were eating."

Castiel stared at him. "I don't understand. Why would he eat with her and then come back here to eat with me? Dean must be very hungry."

"Um, no, that's what I'm trying to tell you," Ketch said. "He's eating with her. He's not coming to eat with you today."

Castiel shook his head. "No, he's coming. He said he was after the demonstration, and he wouldn't lie to me." He smiled and indicated Ketch's tray. "It's alright. You can go ahead and eat. I'll just wait for Dean."

Ketch took a deep breath and sighed. "Castiel, please listen to me. Winchester has four hours of free time every day that he can use as he sees fit, so long as he clears them first. He was initially scheduled to use them in the evenings tonight, but right after the demonstration, he moved all four of them to the afternoon. He's spending them with that young lady he's with right now. He won't be here for lunch, and maybe not for dinner, either, if he eats early."

Castiel stared at him, head cocked to one side. "I don't understand."

"I know you don't, mate, and I'm trying to explain it," Ketch sighed. He steepled his fingers and tapped them on his chin. "How do I make you understand? Alright. Winchester is a young man, and this girl is, well, she's quite attractive. At his age, Winchester is very keen on spending time with attractive young women. That, to him, is more important than having lunch in the humanoid habitat with you."

That made Castiel sit up in alarm. "It's more important to him to spend time with this woman?"

"Well, yes," Ketch said carefully. "I don't believe it's anything against you, Castiel. It's just that he's a young man. A young man's priorities are always going to be spending time with young women."

"Oh." Suddenly, not even the peanut butter and jelly sandwich seemed appetizing. Castiel stared at it, feeling hollowed out and hurt for reasons he didn't fully understand.

Ketch watched him for a moment. "We should talk about what happened today," he began. "I know you wanted to do some ground maneuvers with Winchester, and I was certainly willing to let that happen. However, the directors didn't want to see that. As I tried to explain, they're more interested in aerial maneuvers."

"I understand," Castiel said sadly. "They didn't even realize I was Dean's dragon and not yours. But I know Dean is working hard in the simulator. Maybe next time he'll be ready to ride me in the air, too? Then the directors will see how well we work together."

Ketch was quiet for a moment. "About that," he said at last. "I don't actually know how well Winchester is or isn't doing in the simulations because it hardly matters. All he can really learn in the simulator is how to manipulate the controls. Actual flight, especially high-G maneuvers like you and I do? That is a very different situation. If Winchester can't get over his fear of flying, it stands to reason he won't ever be able to partner with you."

"But he is my partner," Castiel insisted. "Even if he's more interested in young women than in eating lunch with me, he's still my bondmate. He'll always be my bondmate. He'll be alright. I'll protect him, and he'll be able to ride me in the air."

Ketch pinched the bridge of his nose. "May I ask you a personal question?"

Castiel tilted his head to one side. "I suppose?"

Ketch looked him in the eye. "When you were Warrant Officer Novak, did you have feelings for Private Winchester?"

Castiel considered the question. "It's hard to remember a lot of things," he admitted. "I remember being very frustrated with him. I thought he was throwing his life away for no real reason, but I believed all he really needed was someone to care about him. After my wife divorced me and I finally realized she wasn't coming back? I found myself thinking about him more and more. Did I have feelings for him?" He thought for a bit longer, and then nodded. "Yes, I suppose maybe I did, although I never really acknowledged them."

"Alright, thank you for the honest answer," Ketch said. "Now I'd like you to consider something. You'd just come out of a broken relationship. You were alone, depressed. From all accounts, Winchester did nothing at all to endear himself to you. It seemed like you were the one who went out of your way to try to help him, while he continued to, well, do what he did." Ketch waved a hand dismissively. "Do you have any reason to believe that he reciprocated your feelings?"

"No," Castiel said sadly. He didn't have to think about that one.

"So you had feelings for him, but he didn't return them. He didn't even offer you friendship until the end."

That hurt more than a little. "I suppose not. But he was my friend in the end. He was there when I didn't have anyone else, when I needed him the most. And he was there when I changed." Castiel smiled. "He was able to call me out, get me through the process."

"And that, combined with your unrequited feelings for him, are why you formed your bond with him?" Ketch seemed to be studying Castiel intently.

"Yes, that's right." Castiel was glad Ketch seemed to understand.

"I see." Now Ketch did a strange thing. He reached out a hand and gently stroked Castiel's hair. That wasn't something anyone had ever done, and Castiel wasn't sure just what to think about it. "What you just described isn't at all what you deserved," Ketch said softly. "He wasn't there for you when you needed him to be. He never even reached out to you until the end. And now he can't be bothered to keep his word to you for a simple thing like lunch, just because he's chasing some cow?" He shook his head. "I do not know what you see in him."

"Dean is… I…" Castiel didn't know what to say or think.

"This bond you dragons are able to form," Ketch continued. "It's rather like a marriage, isn't it? You give so much to the one you bond with. It's hardly a bother to ask for something as simple as spending time with you. If it had been me you'd bonded with, I never would have neglected you the way Winchester is."

"But he isn't neglecting me," Castiel protested.

Ketch gave him a flat look. "He isn't able to help you in your training, so he leaves that to me. He usually uses his free time to be away from you for at least one meal, even though you obviously want someone to eat with you. He never would have even agreed to live in this habitat with you if that hadn't been part of his punishment detail. It almost seems as though being here with you is exactly that to him - punishment. I'll never understand it. You are a joy to be around. I'd give anything, anything at all, to be in his place."

Castiel didn't know what to say. His heart was beating fast. His thoughts were a whirl. Did Dean consider being with him to be punishment? That would explain why he'd abandoned Castiel to eat lunch with a pretty girl, even after Dean had specifically said he'd be there for lunch.

Ketch's hand was still in his hair, fingers combing through the dark strands. "Winchester was a fool," Ketch was saying. "To have a friend like you, someone so kind and gentle and special, and to take you for granted until the end like he did, like he still does? You deserve better, Castiel. Someone who knew from the start just how incredible, how amazing, you really are. If only things had been different, I would have treated you so much better."

Castiel frowned, confused and uncomfortable. He ducked away from Ketch's hand, eyeing the lieutenant warily. "What are you doing?"

"Just wishing things were different." Ketch sighed, dropping his hand to squeeze Castiel's shoulder. "You know, my friend Mick and I were originally supposed to be your partners."

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry your friend died."

"As am I. But at the same time, I'm not sorry that I got to know you." The hand moved up, sliding over Castiel's collarbone to gently cup the back of his neck. "You really are a beautiful, wonderful man."

Castiel felt himself being pulled forward. He realized Ketch was about to kiss him a moment before it happened. Surprised, he simply let it happen, not responding, just staring straight ahead, wide-eyed and frozen in place.

After a seemingly endless moment, Ketch drew back, releasing Castiel and quickly looking away. He got up, turned his back and crossed his arms defensively over his chest. "I'm sorry," the lieutenant apologized, not looking at Castiel. "I don't know what came over me."

Castiel didn't respond. He stayed as he was, unsure of what had just happened or what he should do next.

Ketch loudly cleared his throat. "Sorry," he said again. "I will try to contain myself, in the future. Um, I should probably go. Please do eat. I worry about you." Still not looking at Castiel, Ketch picked up what was left of his tray and quickly headed out the door, closing and locking it behind him.

Castiel remained as he was. He reached up and touched his lips, looking at his fingers as though he could see the kiss on them. Jimmy Novak had never been adverse to the idea of a relationship with another man, but he'd never pursued one. Until Ketch brought it up, Castiel had never thought about Dean as anything but his bondmate. Ketch, it seemed, wanted something more from him. What did Dean want?

Well, it was obvious what Dean wanted. Dean wanted to spend time with a pretty girl instead of him. Just thinking about it hurt in a way that was only too familiar from his human life. A memory rose, himself as Jimmy Novak, trying to comfort a female MP who'd been Dean Winchester's latest conquest. "Some guys just aren't capable of commitment," he remembered himself telling her. "Winchester's one of the worst. He doesn't care enough about himself to really be able to care about anyone else."

Once again, the phantom sound boomed in his ears. Castiel winced, rubbing at his right temple. The rest of the memory was lost. Feeling thoroughly wretched, he went back to his lunch. He managed to eat nearly all of it, even though he no longer really tasted a bite.