Chapter 13: Closure
"I honestly didn't even think she was capable of doing that! Good for her though," Emi babbled as she took a sip of her wine.
"Mmm," Mito hummed in response, eyeing the half-filled wine glass she held in her hand. She was sitting on her couch with one of her closest friends, Emi Yamanaka, who decided to stop by her house that evening because she hadn't seen her in a while. Mito's long red locks fell down her back, not in their usual high buns, and her eyes appeared tired. Meanwhile, Emi was talking up a storm, updating her on the latest village drama.
Emi looked around at all the vases surrounding the living room area, which appeared to be overfilled with flowers. "So many flowers! Has Lord Hok— er— Hashirama been picking them out from his garden?" Emi sometimes struggled to refer to Hashirama by his first name when she was with Mito. It would be weird to address her husband as the Hokage while she's with her.
Mito looked up and around, as if she was seeing the flowers for the first time. The flowers Hashirama had been leaving for her were building up. "Mmm. Hashirama has been bringing them to me more often these days."
"Aw, you're so lucky!"
"Mmm." If only Emi knew.
"Speaking of flowers, you would not believe who I saw at the flower shop the other day!"
"Who?" Mito asked, sounding uninterested. But it didn't seem like Emi got the message. Honestly, Emi practically forced her way inside her house. Mito wasn't in the mood to chat, but Emi was persistent.
"Guess!" Emi responded.
Mito let out a subtle sigh. "Hmm… One of the guards, Haruto? Is he finally asking that girl out?"
"Mmm, good guess but no! It was Madara! He was getting something for Hashirama and—" Emi squealed. "I just love when men pour into their friendships. It's so rare."
Great, the last person Mito wanted to hear about right now.
"And I know, I know, about all the rumors about Madara, but he didn't seem like a terrible guy. What if he's just misunderstood? You've always said Lord Hok— uh— Hashirama admired him as a friend and rival, right?"
Admired would be an understatement, Mito thought. She bit her lip at the thought of Hashirama confessing his feelings about Madara. His words still rang in her head every day. She just couldn't stop thinking about the way Hashirama talked about Madara that day, the admiration in his voice, the softness in his eyes. The more she thought about it, the more things made sense in her head, and the more accepting of the situation she was, yet the more hurt she felt. Mito took another sip of her wine.
Emi continued, "And don't tell anyone I told you this, but Madara's really hot. Would it be crazy if I pursued him?"
"Emi!" Mito blurted.
"What?"
"I thought you were seeing someone?"
Emi rolled her eyes. "Barely! I feel like things aren't really moving with Aoki."
"Maybe he's the type who likes to take things slow. Emi, he's a kind and good-looking guy."
"I never said he wasn't. I don't know, I'm just not feeling anything for him right now…" Emi shrugged as she took another sip of her wine. "There's no… chemistry I guess."
"Maybe just give it more time. You were excited when he asked you out for the first time."
"I mean, sure, but you know who I could have chemistry with?"
Mito paused, waiting for Emi to answer her own question.
"The Madara Uchiha!" Emi answered proudly, holding her wine glass in the air.
Mito rolled her eyes. "Seriously Emi, don't bother."
"Huhh? First you don't want to hook me up with Tobirama, now you're not supporting my endeavors with Madara? Sometimes I feel like you don't want me to find love, Mito. Hmph. I want to a perfect little happy marriage like yours too, ya know." Emi pouted.
Mito lowered her eyes to the red wine in her glass as a frown spread across her lips. "It's not perfect…" she whispered.
"Hmm?"
There was a loud knock at the front door, and Mito immediately knew it was Hashirama. Her heart dropped and she couldn't move. She still wasn't ready to face him. Emi looked toward the direction of the door, then back to Mito. She noticed Mito grasping her wine glass a little tighter than earlier.
"Do you… want me to get that?" Emi asked.
"S-Sorry, yes, please, if you don't mind," Mito mumbled as the grasp around her wine glass loosened.
As Mito watched Emi carefully put her glass down and head toward the front door, she figured she probably should've told her not to let Hashirama in. But, Mito hadn't said anything about what was going on between her and Hashirama, and didn't want to raise any suspicions. She put her wine glass down and took a deep breath, mentally preparing to see Hashirama if he lets himself in.
Emi arrived at the front door, surprised at who was standing before her.
"Mito—"
"Lord Hokage?" Emi blurted.
"Oh, Emi. Hello, I didn't know you were visiting," Hashirama responded, a hint of disappointment laced in his voice. He thought Mito finally opened the door for him, but he was wrong. He looked down at the flowers and food in his hand before meeting Emi's gaze again.
"Why are you knocking on the door at your own house?"
"Oh." Hashirama let out a nervous laugh before flashing a sheepish smile. "I forgot my key!"
Emi hummed in response before stepping aside, creating space for Hashirama to enter. Hashirama hesitated. Given that Emi opened the door, it was obvious to him that Mito probably still didn't want to see him. He didn't want to intrude out of respect for her space.
"A-Actually, I was just stopping by to drop these off for Mito. Could you give these to her for me?" Hashirama asked as he held out the bouquet and container in his hands.
"Oh, sure? Aw, these are so cute!" Emi responded as she accepted them. "Are you sure you don't want to come in?"
"Yeah, I'm positive. I actually have to run to go… check on something important," Hashirama said as he started backing away. He suddenly remembered the debt he owed Emi, and the scolding he received from Madara because of it. Hashirama flashed a nervous smile. "Oh yeah, a-and about my…"
"Hmm?"
"N-Nothing!" Hashirama laughed while scratching the back of his head. "Nothing at all!" He finished before scurrying away. It's probably better not to remind her right now.
Emi raised an eyebrow, characterizing Hashirama's behavior as suspicious. She shook it off and used her hip to close the door before walking back to the living room where Mito sat. "Special delivery to the one and only!"
Mito looked up to see the gifts in Emi's hands. Of course he would bring more flowers. Mito accepted the bouquet and placed the container down on the small table in front of them. As she looked at the flowers, she could feel her emotions start to heighten. They were beautiful, and she loved them. But what immediately came to mind was the feeling of betrayal, the feeling of losing her husband, the knowledge that Hashirama was in love with someone else. Mito bit her quivering lip as her vision began to blur, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to fall down her face.
Emi noticed Mito's glistening eyes and frowned. "You know… Mito. I've been wanting to say something, but I was hoping you'd open up about it eventually. Are you okay? Is something going on?"
And with that, Mito burst into tears. She cried and cried, as hard as she did the night of her argument with Hashirama. Mito desperately wiped at her tears, but they kept falling.
"Mito…!" Emi pulled Mito into a hug, and Mito clung onto Emi tightly, sobbing into her arms. Emi waited patiently for Mito to let it out as she gently caressed her back in a comforting manner. Once Mito's crying finally subsided, the two women sat in each other's arms for a moment as Mito sniffled.
When Mito was finally ready to respond, she pulled away from Emi, wiping at the residual tears that rolled down her flushed cheeks. She pushed her red locks out of her face and rubbed her puffy eyes. After that long cry, she somehow felt lighter, as if those tears were building up inside of her and finally broke through the dam that tried to contain them.
"Mito… what's wrong?" Emi asked softly, her voice laced with concern.
Mito sat in silence, sniffling, avoiding eye contact.
"Is it Hashirama?"
Mito nodded. Sniffled.
"Did you guys get into a fight?"
Mito nodded as she bit her lip.
Emi tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows. "What about?"
Mito slowly shook her head and looked down at her hands in her lap. She really didn't want to talk about it.
"Okay… well… given that he's been bringing you flowers, I'm sure he wants to make up, yeah?"
Mito shook her head again, feeling a lump form in the back of her throat.
"What do you mean? Why are you shaking your head?"
Mito opened her lips to speak, but the words couldn't come out. She took a moment before attempting to speak again. "What if… this is really it? What am I… going to do?" Mito's voice was shaking from all the crying she had done earlier.
"Girl, what do you mean? This isn't it! I'm gonna go get Hashirama right now so you two can talk about it and make up," Emi demanded as she attempted to stand up, but Mito quickly grabbed her wrist.
"No, no, no, don't get him. Please, Emi, I'm serious," Mito pleaded, her throat tightening as more tears started to fall down her face.
"Mito…"
"Emi, seriously… if it's over, what am I going to do? Will I even be okay?" Mito asked, now crying once again.
Emi wiped at Mito's tears. "Mito, it's not going to be over. Hashirama loves you. A fight is something you both can overcome. Come on now, I know you guys." Emi tried to reassure her. But she was curious as to why Mito was suggesting things would end for them. It seemed a bit extreme. Did something that bad happen? Did someone cheat? Did he hit her? No, Lord Hokage wasn't the type of man to do such a thing.
"Just… just please, hypothetically, what if it's really over…?"
"I'm not going to entertain that hypothetical. It isn't happening, Mito!"
"Emi, please…"
Emi sighed. "Fine. If it's really over, then Mito, you'll be okay. You're beautiful, independent, intelligent, and strong. Honestly, it would be his loss. You have friends here who will support you through it. We won't let you fall. Plus, you're a phenomenal woman who is deserving of a man who would appreciate you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And since you're a catch, you'll definitely find that person. I'm sure men will flock to you. If things are really over, yes it will hurt. But with time, things will start to feel better. And if it's a happy-ish ending, since ending a marriage isn't very happy anyway, it's not like you both will disappear completely from each other's lives. But this is all hypothetically speaking, of course."
Mito couldn't help but succumb to her tears while Emi was speaking. She was right. And for the first time since her argument with Hashirama, she felt a little clarity. Mito wiped away the last of her tears and whispered, "Thanks Emi…"
"Mhmm, of course. But, all of that is nonsense because I believe in you guys."
"Thanks…"
Mito and Emi chatted for a little while longer until Emi had to go. She drank the last of her wine and turned to Mito.
"I have to go now. I'm working the night shift for the barrier team. Are you going to be okay when I leave?"
Mito nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Go be great. Thanks for stopping by, Emi, I really appreciate it."
"Of course!" Emi stood up and started walking away. "Do you think I'll run into Madara on my way there? What do you think I should do if I do? Should I just—?" Emi stopped and flirtatiously tossed her blond hair over her shoulder before looking back at Mito and batting her long, blonde eyelashes.
Mito softly chuckled, which was the first time she laughed in a long time.
"Mito, come on, this is serious! Should I wink? Or is that too much? Maybe I shouldn't do anything at all, maybe I should act mysteriously. Do you think he likes mysterious women?"
Mito shook her head. "Honestly, Emi, don't bother with Madara. Trust me."
Emi let out a dramatic sigh and pouted. "Fiiiine."
"You have Aoki!"
"Fine, but if he doesn't step it up in like a week, I'm ending things."
"Aoki is a great guy."
"I'll end things, Mito!" Emi playfully warned.
Mito grinned. "Then I hope he steps it up." She took a mental note to talk to him about Emi if she ever manages to step out of the house within the next few days.
The two women said their final good-byes before Emi left. Mito settled onto her couch and sipped some more of her wine, which she barely drank while Emi was there. Initially, she didn't want the visit from Emi but was grateful that she came. She had been isolating herself for so long that she forgot how good it felt to be around friends. Mito was able to let out a good cry, her mind cleared up a little, and Emi's words took over her thoughts. She used this opportunity to think things through about her marriage, about Hashirama. What should she do? How will she move forward? Mito spent the rest of her night thinking on the couch, taking a short break to eat the food Hashirama brought her, before she fell asleep in the living room, surrounded by the vases of flowers around her.
As he sat on the ground, Hashirama slowly wrapped his fingers around a flat rock that lay beside him. It was nighttime, and he decided to try and clear his mind by the river he and Madara usually skipped rocks at. But tonight, he was alone.
He slowly retracted his hand and threw the rock, watching as it skipped across the river to the other side, making a clack sound as it touched the ground. Hashirama then grabbed another rock and repeated the same thing over and over again, with no one to catch it on the other side. He simply watched as the rocks piled up.
Hashirama's mind was muddled. It had been several days since Emi opened the door at his place instead of Mito. It was a painful reminder that Mito didn't want to talk to him, and that he really did fuck up badly. Guilt consumed his heart, and he racked his brain trying to figure out what to do.
Suddenly, a small gust of wind wisped across Hashirama's face as a rock flew past him, jumped across the river, and gracefully landed on the other side. Hashirama quickly turned around to see Mito standing nearby, a soft smile on her face.
Hashirama's eyes slightly widened, and he could feel his chest flutter. It was Mito, in the flesh. It was the first time in a long time that he'd actually seen her—her beautiful smile, her gorgeous red locks, her comforting presence. Excitement welled up inside of him, but it didn't replace the guilt that continued to plague his heart. A grin spread across Hashirama's face. "I didn't know you can skip rocks."
"It was always you and Madara's thing. I didn't want to take that away from you. May I sit?"
"Please!" Hashirama insisted, almost a bit too eagerly.
Mito walked up to Hashirama and sat down next to him. She brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and resting her chin on her knees. Her hair was down, with one side tucked behind her ear. She stared straight ahead, not saying a word.
Hashirama couldn't help but glance at Mito from the corner of his vision. He noticed that she had been looking better since the last time she saw her; her cheeks weren't sunken, her eyes weren't puffy, she wasn't pale, she looked well-nourished. Good, that offered Hashirama some relief. But he still knew she was hurting. Hashirama wasn't sure what to say to her. He parted his lips to speak, but nothing came out. I mean, what should he say? Should he apologize? Should he tell her it was all a mistake? Should he ask her how she's doing? Should he talk down on himself and tell her how much he failed as a husband? Hashirama swallowed, a bit annoyed that when he finally had the opportunity to talk to Mito, he couldn't say a word.
The two sat in silence for a while, both looking at the tranquil waters that flowed down the river, illuminated by the moonlight.
"…I think you should go be with him." Mito finally broke the silence.
Hashirama's eyes widened at the words that met his ears. What did she say? He turned to face Mito, who was still looking straight ahead.
"I'm sorry, what?" Hashirama said.
Mito softly exhaled as she brought her knees closer into her chest. She responded, "Thank you for giving me the space that I needed. I was finally able to process everything and… I think you should go be with Madara."
"Wait, w-why? Mito, that's not why I…" Hashirama's voice slowly trailed off. He recalled the conversation he had with Tobirama a little while back about moving forward. He knew he wanted Madara, but telling Mito about his feelings mainly stemmed from his respect and love for her rather than his desire to be with Madara. He didn't want Mito to feel like she needed to give permission. He didn't want her to think that he didn't love her, or didn't respect their marriage. Hashirama continued, "It was never about wanting your permission to go to him. I just wanted you to know how I felt because… I respect you… and I respect our marriage… and I knew having these feelings wasn't right."
"I know that, Hashirama, thank you… But I gave it some thought, and I guess deep down I could tell there was always something there between you two. Before we married, I could tell your friendship with Madara ran deeper than what either of you could see."
Hashirama listened to Mito intently.
Mito grinned as she recalled her early days with Hashirama. "I was so excited to marry you. I know we didn't know each other that well before we started preparing for marriage, but I always admired you. You were the strong, kind, humorous, charming man that everyone loved. And I thought, wow, how lucky I must be. And the more I got to know you, the deeper in love I fell."
"Mito…"
"I loved waking up next to you. I loved making your lunches and bringing them to you whenever you forgot them because you were running late to work. I loved our late-night conversations. I loved our laughs. I loved cooking with you and kissing your hand whenever you burned it even though it got better on its own within the next few minutes. I loved our petty little arguments. I loved dragging you out of the pub after you've gambled for too long."
Hashirama could feel himself choke up as he also recalled their time together.
"And… But… I just… The more I saw you and Madara interacting, the more I saw it. I didn't want to believe it, but I saw it. I wanted you to myself and just hoped it was nothing."
"Mito, I… Back then I didn't realize it was much more than that. I promise, I only saw him as just a friend. I loved you, I was invested in you, in us. I loved our marriage."
"Hashirama, you're a kind, honest, and loyal man. Oblivious at times, as well. I know you didn't do this intentionally. I know you loved me. I appreciate you telling me how you felt about Madara."
"I—"
"And yes, it still hurts. Why wouldn't it? But you know… I'll be okay, I promise."
There was a moment of silence between the two before Mito continued. "And you were right, I do deserve someone who loves me, and only me. So… Hashirama… let's get a divorce."
"…A divorce…" Hashirama whispered to himself. He could feel his heart sink into his chest and his throat tighten. A divorce was expected, but the reality of it still hurt. It was the end of something good, something beautiful with someone he loved, and he was the reason.
Mito finally turned to face Hashirama, surprised to see tears rolling down his rosy cheeks. "Are you…?"
"Hmm? Sorry, sorry," Hashirama quickly wiped away at his tears and added, "It's ridiculous that I'm the one crying, right? I know," he said as he softly chuckled.
Mito smiled. Honestly, she had no more tears left to cry. It still hurt, her chest still felt heavy, but she had reached a stage of acceptance. She slowly reached out her hand and caressed Hashirama's cheek before bringing it back to her lap. She understood why he would cry though. Hashirama was a caring, empathetic man. It was a sad time, the end of a union. But it was for the better. She still loved and cared about Hashirama deeply, and she wanted him to be happy. She also wanted happiness for herself.
But Mito will miss his presence, his warmth, his smile, his touch, lying next to him every night. She'll miss being the person to hear about his day every day. Gosh, she'll miss it all. Her train of thought was disrupted when she felt Hashirama scoot in closer. She took the opportunity to tilt her head and rest it on his shoulder, finding comfort in his presence.
"I'll miss you," Mito whispered.
"I'll still always be here for you. You will always have a special place in my heart," Hashirama responded as he tilted his head, resting it on hers.
Mito hummed in response. She knew Hashirama would be there for her, it just wouldn't be the same. Regardless, she still appreciated having him in her life. She was ready to let go.
"I love you," Mito said.
"I love you too," Hashirama said.
They both sat there in silence, savoring this intimate moment between them, taking in the view of the flowing river and the beautiful full moon in the sky ahead of them.
xxx
Madara slowly strolled through the forestry areas of Konoha at night, hoping to clear his mind. He had been thinking about a lot of things that night, but the main thing that kept crossing his mind was Hashirama. And those words he said…
"You have no idea how head over heels I am for you."
Madara shook the thought off and sighed. He couldn't stay in his house, he couldn't stay in that stifling room in the Naka shrine, right now he just wanted to be in a place that would ease the heavy feeling in his chest: the river where he and Hashirama would usually skip rocks.
As Madara slowly approached his destination, he could sense people already there. He hid behind a tree, concealed his chakra, and peeked around to see who dared to hang around his spot at this time of night. His heart dropped at the sight: Hashirama and Mito, sitting by the river, their heads nestled against each other's. Madara could feel warmth ravage his body, and a lump formed in the back of his throat.
"Ah, so I definitely misheard him," Madara thought before he swiftly turned around and walked away. He didn't understand why he was feeling this way. That was Hashirama's wife after all. Why was he reacting this way? Madara's pace quickened as he started to feel suffocated by the trees around him. He finally emerged out of the forestry region and onto the streets of Konoha, trying to steady his heavy breath. His chest hurt. Madara gripped at his chest with his trembling hand, before letting go and dropping his arm down to the side of his body. He shoved his gloved hands into his pockets, tilted his head down, and walked straight home.
When he arrived home, he slipped off his shoes and gloves, and immediately made his way to his bedroom, collapsing onto the bed and staring up at the ceiling. He had decided that tonight was the last time he would ever let those false words of Hashirama's cross his mind because clearly, he was wrong about what he said. Clearly, he misheard him. Clearly, he was just being delusional. Clearly, he failed to remember his reality. This was his reality. How bold of him to even assume his fate held anything different. He vowed to never question his fate again. Despite his racing mind, Madara slowly drifted off to sleep.
As Madara lay in his bed sleeping, a black creature slowly emerged from the wall near Madara's bed, flashing a toothy grin. He quietly chuckled, amused at the recent development. With the lower half of his body still within the wall, he edged close enough for Madara to hear his raspy voice in his sleep, hoping to feed him the words he needed to push him to pursue the Infinite Tsukuyomi plan.
"Yes, Madara. This is reality. The village hates you. Your clan has betrayed you. Hashirama will never love you. Hashirama has turned on you, just like everyone else. You lost all your siblings, you let them all die. You watched as Izuna died, and you couldn't do anything. Now you're all alone with nothing left but despair. You are loveless. Your fate is dark. There is no justice. There is no peace. This world is cursed. But you are the savior."
Madara shifted in his sleep and mumbled, "I'm… all alone… I'm… the savior…"
"Everyone has abandoned you. You have nothing. But you are the only one who can save this accursed world through the Infinite Tsukuyomi. You must leave the village," Black Zetsu added.
"I… have nothing…" Madara mumbled.
Black Zetsu quickly retreated into the wall when he saw Madara's eyelids flutter as he stirred in his sleep. Soon, Madara shot his eyes open and quickly sat up, as he gasped for air. He was overwhelmed by the warmth of his body. Madara looked around in the darkness to realize that he was in his bedroom. It was just another nightmare. He sat in silence, painfully aware of his racing heart. His thoughts were quickly flooded with all his troubles, and he couldn't help but let them take over his mind.
"…I need to leave the village," Madara whispered.
"I'm home," Hashirama said as he entered Tobirama's house. He had just come back from dropping Mito off at their house after their discussion by the river. Hashirama slipped off his shoes and walked inside to find Tobirama reading at the dining table in front of a bowl of freshly made miso soup. He didn't respond to Hashirama's arrival.
As Hashirama approached the table, he added, "I was finally able to talk to Mito tonight…"
"Good for you," Tobirama responded dryly, his eyes remaining glued to his book.
Hashirama sat down and sighed. "Are you still mad at me? If so, I'm sorry I snapped at you the other day. It was just a lot in the moment. But I am sorry, Tobi."
"It's whatever, I forgive you," Tobirama said as he flipped the page of his book. He did forgive him, but he admittedly couldn't help but still be a little petty.
Hashirama softly exhaled. "Mito and I… are getting a divorce… it was officially decided. We were able to come to a cordial agreement. We're keeping things private until the divorce is official…"
"That's good, isn't it? You're moving forward," Tobirama said, still refusing to meet Hashirama's gaze.
"Y-Yeah… I guess…"
Tobirama finally looked up when he noticed the shakiness in Hashirama's voice, only to be met with Hashirama's glistening eyes. "Brother, are you okay?"
"Yeah, of course, why do you ask?"
"Because… you're crying."
"Oh," Hashirama answered softly before the tears finally fell down his cheeks. Hashirama quickly wiped away at his tears and attempted to play it off with nervous laughter. "How silly of me, right? To be crying? When it's all my fault?" He continued to force out a soft chuckle as he kept wiping his tears, but the tears wouldn't stop falling and his throat tightened.
Tobirama silently watched his older brother cry in front of him, desperately wiping away at his tears. He softly sighed and stood up, walking over to the stove to dish out some fresh miso soup he made into a bowl. He brought it back to the table and pushed it towards Hashirama, humming to indicate that it was for him.
"Thank you…" Hashirama wrapped his hands around the bowl and brought it to his lips to sip the hot miso soup. He placed it back down and stared into the bowl. "It's good…" Hashirama said as he watched his tears fall into the soup. They just wouldn't stop falling.
Tobirama remained silent, yet present for Hashirama. He figured it would be best to just let him let it all out. And that's what Hashirama did. Tobirama quietly watched as the tears continuously fell down Hashirama's flushed cheeks.
"It's going to be okay, brother," Tobirama said in a reassuring tone.
Hashirama bit his lip and silently nodded, still watching as his tears continuously fell into his miso soup.
Thanks for reading! Some OC description reminders:
Aoki Yamanaka: One of the Konoha gate guards. Young male, with short shaggy ginger hair, and green eyes.
Haruto Izuno: One of the Konoha gate guards. Young male, with short curly dark green hair, and light brown eyes.
Tune in for the next chapter! ^_^
