Hello everyone!
Here is a highly demanded chapter - I really hope you enjoy it as it was a pain to write (my laptop kept crashing so it took me twice as long as it should have).
Thanks again for all your support and keep your suggestions and requests coming! I love to hear them. (As for Old Who, I may do some episodes but I am ashamed to say I haven't seen too much but I can try if you really want it!)
So please enjoy and thank you for reading!
As always please let me know what you think!
Robyn
As if on que, the screen turned blank and the words 'Heaven Sent' appeared on screen. The Doctor blinked at the screen, well that didn't really give away any clues about what the video featured. She turned to the rest of the room, having been lulled into a (false) sense of comfort after the ease and niceness of the last video.
"Anyone have any clues about what this could be about?" The Doctor asked.
"Absolutely none but enjoying the mystery tour of your adventures. Besides Doctor, you're what the videos are about if you don't have nay idea it isn't likely we will." Jack pointed out. It was a fair point, they would all feature only in a certain number of videos while she would be in almost all of them if they were about her – therefore she was more likely to know what the video would show.
No one else spoke up so the video started to play. The Doctor was suddenly hit by a strong sense of apprehension, she didn't like not having an idea of what they would see.
12's voice is heard saying as you come into this world, something else is born
"Oh, it's Eyebrows!" Bill perked up, recognising the voice of her old tutor. The Doctor smiled at her excitement. Knowing it was her twelfth incarnation (as the Doctor) also helped narrow down what the video could be showing.
"Maybe it's one of our adventures? Or maybe it will be about Clara?" The Doctor smiled at the pair, she was desperately hoping it was one of their nicer adventures, there were some she was sure she didn't want anyone to ever see. Clara and Bill both smiled back, excited to see their Doctor on screen.
Cogs turn as we wiz round a large stone building with screens hanging off the walls full of static
It hit the Doctor suddenly what they were about to see and she rocked back in her seat suddenly, shrinking down. "No not this. Don't make me watch this. I don't want them to see. I don't want to see this again." She started muttering, eyes wide. She had never told anyone fully what had happened in her confession dial, not River nor Clara, no one. She didn't want them to see this, she didn't want to have to go through this again.
Her muttering and startled reaction drew the room's attention to her in an instant. River grabbed her hand almost desperate, turning her body to completely face her wife. "Sweetie. Breathe, please just breathe. Doctor. Doctor, please you have to breathe." The Doctor hadn't even realised her breath was coming out more aged and uneven the more worked up she got. It was only at River's voice did she realise how much she was struggling to breathe, even with her respiratory bypass.
It took several minutes until she managed to focus on River's words and hold, allowing her to calm herself and bring her breathing back to relatively normal. "Good, just keep breathing normally Doctor." River paused a second to let her calm herself before starting in on the interrogation. "Now what's got you all panicked? What do you not want us to see?"
It took all her efforts to keep calm in the face of the room's expectant and concerned looks, they were all eager to know what had caused her to panic so much, most of them had never seen her in that kind of state and honestly, it had shocked them.
The Doctor's eyes darted all over the room, desperately searching for an escape route but she was trapped by her friend's concern. She took a shuddering breathe before managing to finally squeeze out two words. Two words she knew would explain everything to those that knew. The only two words she could currently manage. "Confession Dial."
Her words seemed to knock the breath out of Clara, whose eyes widened in startled shock before closing for a minute to allow her to deal with the emotions those words induced. River inhaled sharply; the Doctor had told her a little about her (then his) ordeal in the confession dial but never any details. She would have had to be a fool to miss the trauma it had caused him though. The Master leaned forward in his seat, eager for answers to this mystery, he knew very little about what had happened upon the Doctor's return to Gallifrey and desperately wanted to know the full story – especially seeing the Doctor's reaction.
The words meant very little to the rest of the room, who were all shuffling uncomfortable in their seats. They could see how badly those that knew had reacted and that was worrying them. They had just been settling down after the relatively pleasantness of the last video, but clearly this one was going to be hard.
Clara took a deep breath before sitting up in her seat, drawing the room's attention to her. The only people not watching her was the Doctor – who was still working on calming herself down – and River who was helping the Doctor clam down, but keeping half an eye on the rest of the room.
Clara finally started to speak. "I know I mentioned it earlier but I guess we're going to actually see it. This one is going to be difficult for both of us for several reasons. All you need to know is that we ran into a trap which went wrong and I was killed." The shocked looks and gasps drew Clara's attention and she hurried to continue her explanation. "I got too prideful and I made a mistake which got me killed and the Doctor trapped but I don't know the full details. Between the Doctor and the Master – then Missy – all I know about the confession dial is that it is essentially a Gallifreyan's will, given to their greatest friend before they die. Gallifrey tricked the Doctor and used his to trap him for a long time." She took another breath, long was a major understatement. "I think we are about to see what happened to the Doctor while he was trapped." She finished, sad eyes turning on the Doctor who offered a shaky smile in an attempt to reassure her that everything was okay. It didn't convince anyone.
The room looked at the Doctor in a new light, concern obvious in all their gazes. Clara's revelation had unsettled them and they were suddenly anxious about what they would see. To put the Doctor in that state it must have been terrible in a way they couldn't articulate. Reluctantly they let the video continue. The Doctor's eyes were attached to the screen, dread pooling in her stomach and River's hand in hers offering comfort.
12 is heard again, talking about how as you live the other thing moves towards you, slowly but it never stops. You rest, it does not, then one day you stay somewhere too long and it catches up and then your life will be over
"Are you telling a horror story Doctor?" Jack tried to joke but it fell flat, everyone far too apprehensive and worried about what was coming. The Doctor's reaction said everything about how bad this episode was going to be.
We're in a teleport chamber and a blackened hand grab a lever and pulls, the hand falls and turns to dust as the cogs turn
"Whose hand was that?" Martha asked, looking unnerved by the disintegration of said hand.
The Doctor grimaced, eyes dark. So, they wouldn't be seeing her first time in the place – she wondered when they would be starting and how this video would play out. "Just watch." The room glanced at her worried, but got the feeling they wouldn't be getting any answers anytime soon.
12 appears in the teleport chamber coughing and gasping
"Definitely Eyebrows." Bill said, noticeably less excited know. She still felt a swell of happiness to actually see her first Doctor but his state and everything they had been told was unsettling her, she knew the Doctor had monsters in his (her, their, whatever) closet, everyone knew that, but it was something different to actually witness the formation of one. The Doctor offered a small smile but her eyes were still a swirling mess of unreadable emotions.
The cogs stop as he leaves the chamber. We get a glimpse of Clara's death, and he scoops up a handful of sand from the floor
"That's how you died?!" Rose asked startled before realising what she had said and continuing. "Sorry, that was really unsensitive. Are you okay?"
Clara smiled at the other woman showing no hurt feelings. "I'm okay thanks, it has been a while since that for me. Honestly, it's a bit weird seeing it like that. The full story is long but basically, as you probably guessed, the raven was not really an actual raven." She shrugged with a bittersweet smile. It had been a while for her since then, she'd spent what felt like years travelling with Me, but time was a challenging thing to keep track of when one is a time traveller.
No one was quite sure what to say to that so allowed the video to continue. Shooting concerned and confused looks between the Doctor, Clara and the screen every so often.
DOCTOR: If you think because she is dead, I am weak, then you understand very little. If you were any part of killing her, and you're not afraid, then you understand nothing at all. So, for your own sake, understand this. I am the Doctor. I'm coming to find you, and I will never, ever stop.
Clara flinched at the Doctor's declaration. It was a startling reminder of his fury at Me just before her death. A swirling mess of emotions were playing a tug of war in the pit of her stomach. On one hand she was glad to see the Doctor affected by her death (not that she would have ever though he wouldn't care, the Doctor just struggled with emotions, especially as Eyebrows). On the other hand, she hated what his fury and her death had driven him too, the decisions he had made because of it, what he had suffered because of it. They'd never had a proper chance to actually discuss everything that had happened but she wasn't sure she actually wanted to see what he had endured for her sake.
The rest of the room was startled by the anger the Doctor displayed, it was a rare event for them to see it like this but it was always a stark reminder that they weren't human, that they were an ancient alien who had seen more than anything they could ever understand. It made it abundantly clear that this was going to be a painful video.
The Master leaned forward in his seat, a small smirk tugging at his lips. It wasn't common to see the Doctor rage, their beautiful rage. And while he was apprehensive (and furious) about Gallifrey's meddling, he was delighted to see the anger mounting in the Doctor – when he unleashed it, it was sure to be spectacular.
The Doctor shrunk down further in their seat; they really didn't want to have to go through this again, even just watching it. She didn't want anyone to see what had happened in those almost endless years of torture or what had happened on Gallifrey, especially after everything they had just seen about the Timeless Child. This was going to be painful.
12 explores the tower, leaning out a window to try and see the ground
"You are very high up." Mickey pointed out worriedly. It left less room for a escape plans being high up. The Doctor just grimaced, she knew exactly how high she'd been.
12 works out based on the equipment he's not more than a light year from where he was and he's in the same time zone
"You don't know where you are?" Yaz asked, more curious than anything. She could easily admit it was a bit weird to see the old man on screen and think that was the Doctor, she was so used to her Doctor.
"I was teleported away after Clara's death. I didn't know why or by who so it took me a while to work everything out." The Doctor admitted quietly. She'd been so furious and grieving Clara that it had taken her longer than it should have to work out what was going on. Plus, it wasn't like there were many clues available or time to debate it, and there was the issue with only getting her memories back when she found room 12.
He finds a courtyard and walks clockwise. He says when the sun sets he will be able to work out his exact location, he wants revenge even though Clara told him not to
Clara turned to the Doctor, her own rage bubbling its way to the surface. Yes, this had already happened but she was still allowed to be angry. "Don't you dare! It was my death. My pride and stupid mistake. You don't get to take revenge or ignore me!"
"Clara-." The Doctor tried but was ignored.
"No, you absolute idiot! I hate how far you went and I know you realised but it was my mistake and you suffered for years." Clara finished her rant, eyes wide with a mix of fury and sadness.
"Clara." The Doctor stated, voice blank of emotions. She waited patiently until Clara met her eyes. "Clara. You are my responsibility when you travel with me. All of you are. You made a stupid mistake, yes, but I encouraged your attitude and we were in that situation because it was a trap for me. I'm sorry for ignoring what you wanted but I'd just watch you killed on my watch." The Doctor was eerily calm, eyes deep and showing the full extent of her sorrow.
Clara watched her for a moment, speechless. Then her brain kicked back into gear. "You're an absolute idiot. I chose to travel with you, we all do, and it was my pride that caused my death. It wasn't your fault and you don't deserve this." She gestured at the screen to emphasise her point.
"You were my responsibility. You are all my responsibility when you travel with me." The Doctor announced. Her tone steely and showing that she wasn't going to move on the matter.
"You're an idiot." Clara declared, knowing she wouldn't get anywhere else with this argument at the minute but making a mental note to find the Doctor after this mess and have a proper talk.
The Doctor just shrugged with a small smile. The rest of the room watched the interaction unsure that they should be watching.
He finds a spade with soil on it, he declares he hates gardening
"Are you seriously complaining about gardening?" Amy asked, shaking her head in disbelief at the Doctor.
Donna was also shaking her head. "You really need to work on your priorities." The Doctor just grinned.
12 wants whoever is around to come out, his day can't get any worse he wants to make someone else's bad
The room collectively flinched at the friend dying in agony comment. Clara turned to the Doctor - sadness clear in her large eyes as well as some residual anger at her wishes being ignored. The Doctor frowned; it hadn't been a 'day' by any stretch of definition but the ordeal in her confession dial wasn't anything compared to Clara's death. What was one death when you had died so many times before, compared to the death of someone you loved.
On a screen we get a black and white image of him from someone looking through a narrow slit in the wall
"You're being watched." Rory declared nervous.
"Yes." The Doctor answered simply. Her grimace made it clear to the rest of the room that it wasn't anyone nice.
He finds a figure in pale grey veils standing at a slit, he back away as he watches it move along the corridor on the screen. It's dragging a leg making an audible thump with each step. 12 wafts away a fly and runs down a narrow corridor to a door which is locked. He is trapped by the figure at the other end of the corridor
"What is that thing?" Mickey asked. The whole group was watching the screen with increasing concern. The Doctor was trapped with seemingly no escape.
"That's the thing chasing you?" Jack asked the Doctor, glancing to his side to find her frowning at the screen.
"Yes." Was the only answer she provided, eyes never leaving he screen. It didn't comfort anyone.
The Doctor knows them, has seen them before
"How have you seen it before?" Rose frowned. She would have thought something like that would be hard to forget.
The Doctor's expression just got darker and infinitely old. "Just watch." The companions exchanged worried looks over her head.
He tries the door again, and mentions he knows a trick with doors - if you're a little bit nice (telepathically) they might open. The door unlocks
"Are you serious?! Why have you never done that before?" Bill complained. That little skill would probably have been very helpful with the mess with those weird alien wood bugs.
The Doctor just shrugged. "Don't usually have enough time." Several companions rolled their eyes or shook their heads at that comment.
He tells a non-existant Clara he still has it
"Oh Doctor." Clara sighed; voice quiet in her own kind of grief. It was really hitting her that while she had had a chance to deal with her death and separation with the Doctor trough travelling with Me, the Doctor had been on his own dealing with his grief and being tortured for years.
The Doctor smiled softly, eyes filled with an indescribable grief and sadness that made Clara feel that little bit worse. The rest of the room shifted uncomfortable in the face of the sad atmosphere. They couldn't help but think about how the Doctor had reacted to their departure – no matter how nice or mutual it was. Bill already had some idea how the Doctor had reacted after her death and a few of the others had seen the Doctor's reactions after a previous companion's departure but they were still guiltily curious.
He opens the door but there's just a solid wall behind it. The Veil comes closer
The tension in the room increased even more, there really was no escape seemingly and they didn't know what the Veil wanted or was capable of.
12 admits he can't see a way out and that he's scared of dying
The room watched the screen in such a mix of emotions that it left most of them speechless. River squeezed the Doctor's hand and softly muttered to her. "It's okay to be scared of dying Doctor."
The Doctor shrugged before slyly glancing around the room to check if anyone was listening in. The only other person who seemed to be paying attention to their conversation was Jack who looked so sad but understanding.
"Before you attempt to make excuses Doctor. Having experience dying doesn't make it any less terrifying. I should know, all three of us know that." Jack added in softly.
Great, now she had both of them on her case again. It hurt just a little, the reminder that all three of them had died so much. Especially the reminder about River's deaths, she'd given up several of her regenerations to save her life and it turns out that she probably didn't even need them. She didn't answer either of them, too caught up in her depressive spiral of thoughts. She missed the concerned look the pair shot each other over the top of her head as the video continued.
The Veil had reached out a four fingered hand but stops dead with a clang as the Doctor spoke, even the flies are frozen. 12 asks what he said to make it stop
"Okay that is seriously creepy. What is that thing?" Bill asked, face displaying exactly what she thought.
The rest of the room seemed to agree based on their faces. River, Jack and the Master appeared to be mentally combing through their experience with aliens to try and place the Veil, the Doctor knew they would have no luck with that. She was honestly a little surprised that the Master hadn't put things together considering that he knew Gallifrey was behind everything. She realised she hadn't actually answered Bill when she felt the weight of everyone's eyes upon her.
"Just watch Bill, please." She sighed; things were only going to get worse.
Cogs audibly turn and part of the walls in the towers rotate, the wall behind him moves and he runs into the room
"The castle moves too! Because things can't get more confusing and annoying." Mickey shook his head. Martha was leaning against him with a small smile.
12 finds a bedroom with a vase of flowers and a peeling painting of Clara on the wall as the cogs stop
"Why is that there? How is that there?" Clara asked looking as bewildered as she sounded.
The Doctor bit her lip for a second trying to think of what to say. "I think the video will explain but if not, I will at the end of it, okay?" Clara visibly thought for a second before nodding her agreement. The Doctor was pretty sure the video would explain but if it didn't, she would honour her word and tell them about why the painting was there. That's if no one worked it out first.
12 picks up a jeweller's eyeglass and inspects the painting, the screen shows this and the Veil is arriving again
"It's coming for you again." Nardole pointed out rather redundantly. He was promptly ignored.
12 declares the painting very old
Clara flinched slightly at the reminder of how long the Doctor had been in the confession dial. She knew she had mentioned it near the start of this mess but was pretty sure that everyone else had forgotten that detail or not connected it to their current situation at least. She wasn't sure she wanted to know how long he had already been in there.
12 sees a fly land on the paining and he drops the glass to turn and face the Veil. The Doctor tells a story from his childhood - an old lady died and they covered her in veils but as it was a hot summer day the flies came. It gave him nightmares for years, he wants to know who is stealing his nightmares
"That thing is from your nightmares?" Donna exclaimed, looking stuck between horrified and reluctantly curious.
"I think that would feature in my nightmares too." Bill muttered, the picture the Doctor painted wasn't appealing in any way, nor was the Veil on screen.
The Doctor frowned for a moment trying to decide whether or not to just explain everything now or make the same excuse she had with Clara. The weight of the room's eyes made the decision for her. "The confession dial is supposed to be used as a kind of purification after a Time Lord dies so it is a mental construct based on that Time Lord. This whole mess-." Here she waved at the screen to emphasise her point. "Is made specifically for me. My nightmares, my grief, me. You'll see more as the video continues, I'm sure."
The room seemed to accept this despite their concerned looks. The Master however had a rather speculative look on his face, she was sure she'd never told him the story of the old lady, but he had clearly worked something out.
12 plucks petals from the flowers
"Why are you killing the flower?" Rose asked with a raised eyebrow. Despite how casual he looked about it on screen, she'd learnt long ago that he tended to do weird things like this for a reason.
"You'll see." The Doctor grinned for the first time in a while, happy to see someone had noticed.
12 wants to know why he's there, he grabs the eyeglass again and dodges around the Veil
There were a few chuckles at seeing the Doctor wear the eyeglass but most were too tense and worried to really enjoy the sight.
12 asks if it is a torture chamber and that whoever did it should know better. The eye glass drops again as he refuses to share any secrets
"When do you ever tell anyone anything?" Jack chuckled. "If your friends can't get secrets out of you, why do your enemies seem to think you will tell them anything?"
The Doctor smiled at him, glad for the distraction from the torture chamber comment and the fact that there was no edge to Jack's comment. He was just genuinely trying to cheer her up and distract her. "I know, they never learn."
He ducks under the Veil's arm and grabs a stool to fend it off. He throws the stool at a window breaking it, claiming the Veil wouldn't see this coming before diving through the broken window
The room's heads snapped to her in near sync while she winced slightly. It was River who voiced their thoughts first. "Doctor!"
"River." She said back just to be a bit petty and in a hopeless attempt to diffuse the tension suffocating the room suddenly.
"Don't you dare do that." River snapped, ignoring her. "You can't just throw yourself out a window!"
She was very temped to mention it wasn't the first or last time or the fact that River had done it as well but she figured that would only make the situation worse, so for once wisely kept her mouth shut.
Amy snorted out of the blue. "You seem to have a thing for falling. I mean you fell out of the Tardis, almost fell from the crane and I'm sure plenty of other times that I can't quite think of right now. One day it's going to kill you."
"Oh, it already has." The Master snorted without any humour form his little corner, drawing the room's attention to him. Most of the room had been attempting to ignoring him but his comment was too much to ignore.
The Doctor winced; she'd definitely not wanted t mention that little detail. She was glaring at the Master when she heard Martha's guarded voice. "What do you mean?" The Doctor knew that Martha hated having to ask the Master anything so it meant this was something she really wanted the answer too.
Now the Doctor had a choice: tell the story herself and draw their attention back to her or let the Master tell it and put his 'delightful' spin on it. Yep, no question about it. "My fourth regeneration, I fell off a radio tower and landed wrong, the fall killed me and I regenerated into my fifth face." She was right, her quiet comment drew the room's attention back to her in an instant. The Master's gaze felt heavy even as she ignored it in favour of inspecting the floor.
"Fell?" Jack asked with a tone that suggested he really didn't believe that. His glances at the Master definitely told the room what he believed to have actually happened.
"Yes, I was fighting the Master and he was up there but no he didn't push me as much as he likes to claim that is what happens. I slipped as stupid as it sounds." The Doctor sighed; trying to get the explanation out quickly before Jack or anyone else tried to fight the Master.
"Glad you've finally admitted it dear. Though it was inevitable with that stupid scarf of yours, I always told you it would kill you one day." The Master smirked.
"My scarf was cool, besides it didn't kill me either." The Doctor argued. She was carefully not mentioning how she had slipped because the Master had adjusted the tilt of the radio dish, she didn't want to give him any credit or give anyone else reasons for more fighting.
Their little argument had thankfully largely distracted the room from her stupid decisions on screen and the video started to play again as they had a small stare off.
He's in the Tardis
"Wait, what? How did you get into the Tardis?" Yaz asked, glancing between the screen and the Doctor. The rest of the room was doing something similar, all confused by the sudden jump from the Doctor falling to the Doctor entering the Tardis.
"I didn't." The Doctor answered with a small knowing smirk.
"You realise that doesn't explain anything, right Doc?" Graham added in. All the answer he got was the Doctor's smirk which wasn't reassuring.
We get mixed shots of him in the Tardis and falling further down. He is arguing with nobody, declaring he had to jump as the first rule of interrogation is you're the only irreplaceable person there
"Why do you sound like you have lots of experience with torture chambers?" Martha asked, sounding like she was already resigned to the answer.
"Because I do." The Doctor answered like it should be obvious.
"Doctor." Martha sighed.
"What?" She asked but received no actual answer, just sad looks from the majority of the room.
According to 12 you have to show them who's boss and die faster. Rule one of dying, don't, second rule is slow down. 12 appears to almost freeze mid air and there is a Clara in the Tardis with her back to him
Clara jolted in her seat, glancing swiftly between the screen and the Doctor with a scrunched-up expression revealing her confusion. Her eyes visibly widened as she seemed to make a connection. "That's not me. I know that's not me. You said that the confession dial reflected you – your nightmares and your grief. That's why the painting is in the castle and why I'm there – I'm a reflection of your grief." Clara finally declared softly; eyes widened to reflect how sad that thought made her.
The Doctor just nodded slightly to confirm her theory, unsure what to actually say. At least it saved her from explaining later.
Clara just sighed, eyes closed and expression pained before turning back to the screen with just an, 'Oh, Doctor."
12 explains you have to assume you are going to survive. enter the storm room in your mind and think. His storm room is the Tardis, showing off and telling someone how he escaped and making them laugh
Bill tilted her head slightly turning to the Doctor, ever curious. "Is that seriously how you figure out how to get out of trouble?"
The Doctor just shrugged one-heartedly. "It works."
He is dying and is very excited to know how he is going to survive
"You finally admit it." River teased, nudging the Doctor slightly and gaining a small smile in return. It was a good distraction from the imminent danger the Doctor was in onscreen.
He has one hope - salt
"Salt?" Amy asked incredulous.
"Salt." The Doctor nodded proudly, although it was tinted slightly by the knowledge of what was awaiting her in the water. She ignored Amy rolling her eyes at her lack of clarification.
He smelled it earlier, so the castle stands in the sea
"But falling into water from high up isn't any better than hitting concrete, right?" Rose pointed out, glancing around the room to check she was right. A few people nodded their agreement. The Doctor just gave a small smile and waved to the screen.
Falling into water from a great height doesn't guarantee survival, so he needs to work out how far he is falling and how fast
Rose sat up slightly grinning proudly at the Doctor who grinned back.
Calculations roll on a scanner as 12 explains he used the stool to see how long it took to splash (7 seconds) and worked out atmospheric density (flower petals) and strength of local gravity (jeweller's eyeglass falling) etc
"You think you are so clever." River teased, shaking her head in fond exasperation at her wife's antics.
"I am clever." The Doctor protested while the rest of the room started snickering at the duo.
"Keep telling yourself that sweetie." River grinned which pulled at the Doctor's heart strings and lightened the weight she was feeling from watching these memories.
He hits the water on time and goes unconscious, he floats downwards as the Tardis goes dark for a moment before lighting up again
"Doctor!" Bill exclaimed at seeing the Doctor floating unconscious underwater. She kept glancing between the screen and the Doctor as if to reassure herself that she wasn't there anymore. Others in the room were doing something similar.
"I was okay Bill, promise." The Doctor smiled reassuringly. It wasn't exactly a lie, the almost drowning wasn't the painful or deadly part of these memories.
Not-Clara writes on a blackboard - Q1 what is this place? 12 wants to know why they can't just sleep
"Oh Doctor." River muttered, squeezing the Doctor's hand while glancing worriedly at her.
Q2 - what did 12 say to make the Veil stop? 12 tells Clara he can't always win, but she underlines it seven times on the blackboard
The room became tense, all its inhabitants hearing the underlying questions and fatigue under the Doctor's seemingly innocent questions. Clara couldn't help but feel a bit thankful that she was still there helping the Doctor even if it was just in the Doctor's mind.
River squeezed the Doctor's hand in an attempt to comfort both of them, giving her wife a pointed look that said they would be talking about this at some point soon. She was only comforted slightly by the fact that she'd spent twenty-four years with the Doctor shortly after this mess and helped him deal with everything even if her hadn't always told her the details.
Light reveals the sea bed is covered in humanoid skulls
The room's eyes widened drastically at seeing the sea of skulls and a few let lose gasps at the unexpected sight. "Whose skulls are they? How many people have died there?" Amy asked, glancing worriedly at the Doctor.
The Doctor was grimacing, which really didn't reassure anyone, "Just watch."
"But you said this was your confession dial, based on your fears and everything. Are they people you knew?" Clara theorised worriedly. That was a lot of skulls.
The Doctor managed to look even more uncomfortable if that was possible. "In a way, just watch please." Several people in the room looked like they wanted to argue but the Doctor had already turned back to the screen and they knew they wouldn't get any more answers out of her.
Now conscious, 12 swims to the surface before climbing out shortly after. There is a central tower with four spokes off it on 2 levels, together it looks a bit like a cog wheel
"Cogs? Like in a clock?" Rory muttered almost to himself. Only those closest to him heard and Amy gave him a considering look – she'd been thinking something similar but neither were quite sure what it meant.
Dripping wet, 12 finds a fire with a pair of boots and clothes already dry by the fire. He warms himself and compares the clothes to find them identical to his own. He swaps his with the dry ones, putting the wet ones exactly as he found the dry ones
"At least you don't have to run around in wet clothes." Jack wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, startling a snort out of the Doctor.
"Why are there identical clothes there?" Martha asked, face scrunched up in thought. She was purposely ignoring Jack's comment, as was the sane thing to do typically.
"Just watch." The Doctor answered, the room was getting very tired of that response and their expressions told the Doctor that.
He finds a dining room set for one then a storeroom with a hexagonal hole in the flagstone and chalk arrows pointing in. There's sand in the bottom
"Someone else is there. Or has been there at some point." Rose declared looking worried.
The room looked at the Doctor with expectant gazes, looking for answers. The Doctor just shrugged uncomfortable with this topic of discussion. "Kind of, just watch please."
12 asks why it follows, on the blackboard it says wrong question and 12 asks what the right question is
Clara frowned; expression full of sadness. She was still conflicted about the Doctor picturing her to help him.
"Is that really how your brain works?" Bill asked, still wanting more clarification on that point. She couldn't help but wonder if the Doctor had ever pictured her when doing this?
The Doctor just smiled at the younger girl who looked torn between shaking her head fondly and rolling her eyes at the non-answer answer.
Not why, what? 12 works out it is trying to scare him, its all about fear that's why he can see it following him. A killer puzzle designed to scare him to death, he calls it Christmas
"Please tell me you're not enjoying this." Jack asked sounding already resigned to the answer.
"The puzzle is fun but the whole experience was not. You'll see." The Doctor explained with a small smile. It wasn't a secret that she enjoyed working out puzzles and finding her way out of trouble – it was always a good distraction from everything. She noticed River rolling her eyes beside her.
"Oh, you can't say anything River. You're worse than me." The Doctor argued.
"I have no idea what you're talking about sweetie." This time it was the Doctor who rolled her eyes at her wife.
He walks down a corridor and opens a creaky door
"Of course, the door creaks. Because there isn't enough of a horror movie atmosphere." Rory sighed.
He finds a garden, the door slams shut and a bell rings. In the centre of the garden is an empty round bed with a recently dug rectangle. 12 finds a clean spade, he gets the hint that someone wants him to dig and starts
"Guess you're digging. So much for hating gardening." Amy teased. The Doctor just grinned at her.
"I think that we would all dig in this case." Ryan pointed out. The rest of the room had to agree with that.
12 talks to himself about what Clara would do, which is the same as 12, commenting that's what killed her
Clara flinched at that. The Doctor winced as well, she never thought anyone would see anything from this. She was about to try and say something (what she wasn't quite sure yet)but Clara interrupted her.
"No don't say anything Doctor. You're right, it was what got me killed and I've already dealt with that. It's okay." Clara offered a small smile at the Doctor who sent back her own small apologetic smile. They definitely needed to talk about that (and everything else) properly at some point but now was not the time.
12 talks aloud about something being buried in the garden or it being a trap. He also declares he isn't the first prisoner (the skulls). He works out with a building that high and creature that slow he has an hour
"Are you just shouting at air? Really Spaceman?" Donna raised her eyebrow.
The Doctor shrugged. "I figured someone was watching and even if there wasn't I like to speak out loud."
Martha snorted. "We all know that. It's getting you to stop talking that's usually the problem." That caused a few chuckles around the room while the Doctor just put up a few protests, too happy to see her friends get along and the distraction form the video to really care.
He digs as the Veil comes closer
"It's coming for you." Mickey said rather redundantly. It wasn't like they could help the Doctor on screen.
When a fly buzzes in his face he runs to check a screen seeing wood with flies on it. He opens a door to find the veil screeching at him
Half the room jumped or let lose a little shriek at seeing the Veil jump out from behind the door.
"Jump scares too. Really getting that horror movie vibe now." Bill exclaimed, one hand over her heart as if to try and calm her racing heartbeat.
12 slams the door shut and jams the spade under the door handle declaring that due to the physics of a triangle the Veil loses
"You're so smug." Rose shook her head. The Doctor just smiled, she was allowed to be smug.
The door stops shaking as the Veil leaves. 12 works out it can set traps but that's okay as he is good with traps
"Good at escaping them and good at making them." The Doctor grinned, she's had plenty experience of both over the years (she pointedly did not glance ta the Master who had been watching and analysing the screen intensely – whatever conclusions he was coming too he wouldn't share).
"Rose is right, you're very smug." Amy announced, the Doctor just pouted while the rest of the room chuckled.
He checks a screen to find a picture of the storeroom with hexagon on the floor. He gets back to digging, night falls and he is four feet down as he checks the dark sky
"How long were you digging?!" Yaz asked. It was rare for the Doctor to focus on one thing for so long unless necessary and digging for so long sounded horrible even to her – who had far more patience than the Doctor.
The Doctor grimaced, "Several hours." The rest of the group shifted uncomfortable. They all knew how much the Doctor would have hated that but clearly it was necessary. Occasionally they would get distracted by their own conversations and forget this was a torture chamber for the Doctor.
DOCTOR: No, no. That's not right.
"What's 'not right'?" Graham frowned not liking how worried the Doctor seemed about something.
It was River who worked it out. "The stars." She glanced worriedly at her wide who nodded grimly.
"You realise that still explains nothing for the rest of us?" Amy complained but the pair ignored them.
The spade hits something solid, he clears the last soil and finds the words 'I Am in 12' carved into stone. Flies buzz and the veil jumps down into the hole. 12 falls back as it reaches for him
"Oh god." Rose muttered very worried about the imminent danger the Doctor was in. The rest of the room was on the edge of their seats as if they could leap up and help the Doctor onscreen.
"I am in 12? What's in 12?" 12 what?" Jack asked, equally worried but all too aware that the Doctor likely got out of the trouble. Both were watching the Doctor who looked back with sad eyes before gesturing to the screen.
We're back in the Tardis storm room as 12 tries to work a way out of the situation. On the blackboard is the words 'Tell no lies'
"You told the truth!" Bill announced, eyes wide with the realisation. Her announcement helped a few that hadn't made the connection, they all turned to the Doctor who was grinning proudly at Bill. The Doctor nodded towards the screen.
12 works out it wants the truth, confession. Truths he's never tod before if he wants to stop the Veil. he's being integrated
"So Gallifrey is torturing you because they want something you know?" Yaz pieced together.
"Yes." The Doctor answered simply with a small frown.
"But what do they want to know? What has made them so desperate that they did this?" Martha asked. The Doctor knew plenty of secrets that Gallifrey didn't and they hadn't done anything like this before.
The Doctor and Clara share a glance, both the only ones that knew about the Hybrid and neither willing to spill the secret yet. "Just watch." Clara said quietly but with a steely tone that left no room for arguments.
There's issues with that, 12 shares, there are some secrets he can never tell for anything. He's very scared and alone
The room glanced worriedly at the Doctor. It was so rare for her to admit to her fears so it really let them know about the state of her mental health. River squeezed the Doctor's hand tight in comfort, she hated the idea of the Doctor dying alone and scared as did most of the room. It was even worse when they realised that ultimately, he had regenerated alone and sacred before falling into her current companions.
In the Garden again, 12 confesses to not leaving Gallifrey because he was bored. That that had always been a lie
"Everyone knows that, dear. I hardly think that will be enough." The Master drawled from his corner, looking as if he couldn't care less about anything happening on screen. It was a complete lie but none of the humans in the room needed to know that, especially after the mess he had made during the reveal of the Timeless Child video. He was also curious to know if the Doctor would finally admit why she had run away, not that he would ever admit that. The Doctor just ignored him in favour of watching the screen – the pain was still to come.
The Veil wants more. The Doctor admits to running because they were scared
"Oh Doctor." Several companions sighed while the room all gave her unbearably sad looks. The Doctor ignored them all, too caught in her depressive spiral of thoughts. Had the Timeless Child had an affect on why she ran away? Or was it entirely her fears? Either was possible, she hadn't been thinking much just grabbed Susan and ran, far too scared of what could happen.
The Veil withdraws and the castle moves as the Doctor escapes the hole and runs
"So, when you make a confession the castle shifts?" Rory asked to which the Doctor nodded.
"You're in the middle of nowhere. Why is there a castle in the middle of nowhere?!" Donna complained, hands in the air to emphasise her point. The Doctor just frowned sympathetically.
In the bedroom, 12 talks about how the day someone dies isn't the worse, its all the days they stay dead
Clara just looked at the Doctor with such a sad look that she glanced away, back to the screen unable to deal with the well of emotions it arose in her. It wasn't the first time the Doctor had experienced grief (not by any stretch) but it was possibly the longest time she had been left alone to dwell on it.
He'd been timing the Veil, flies arrive at 57 minutes
"You've learnt to time it." Jack realised, watching the Doctor tap out the seconds. River's expression darkened upon seeing the action, he'd done it when he got nervous or scared during their twenty-four years on Darillium, a nervous tick he had struggled to unlearn. The Doctor just grimaced in answer.
He runs down the corridors, explaining that if he draws the Veil to one side of the castle and he runs to the other extreme -
"Like a penguin with its arse on fire." Bill muttered drawing confused looks from everyone who heard her and a wide honest grin form the Doctor.
He gets a max of 82 mins to eat, sleep and work
"How did you function like that?" Clara asked horrified. She was hating this episode more and more as it progressed and the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that the worst was still to come.
"I need less sleep and food than humans." The Doctor shrugged nonchalant, trying to play it off.
River stared her down. "You still need far more than that if you actually want to still function for any length of time." The Doctor didn't back down from River's worried/angry glare. It wasn't like she had to function long like that before everything reset, but they didn't know that yet and she wasn't going to reveal that fact until she absolutely needed too.
His work is finding room 12, he's keeping track in his notebook as numbering is very odd and jumbled up. Back in the garden the hole is filled in
"Wait what?" Rose asked bewildered at the dirt being filled in again. The Doctor gave a small smile at her reaction (and expression, and most of the room's expressions) before gesturing to the screen.
12 explains if he leaves a room long enough it reverts to the state it was in when he arrived
The room nodded glad for an answer to at least one of their questions. That was a rare phenomenon – getting an answer to a question so quickly. It was also an interesting idea, but there were still more questions – like why did everything clean up after itself? And how?
He eats a meal as he explains he thinks he's in a closed energy loop ot maybe hell but that doesn't scare him as its just heaven for bad people. He's more worried about how long he will be there
"Heaven for bad people? You really are an idiot. Of course, it is." Amy sighed dramatically, all Scottish and cross.
"Do you even believe in Heaven and Hell? I mean you're not actually from Earth." Bill asked.
"I spend a lot of time around either Earth or humans, I've picked up bad habits." The Doctor shrugged, but the small smile revealed her slight teasing.
The Veil approcahes as he eats, it never stops
"That's what we want to know too." Rose crossed her arms.
In the teleport chamber
DOCTOR [OC]: There are two events in everybody's life that nobody remembers. Two moments experienced by every living thing, yet no one remembers anything about them. Nobody remembers being born and nobody remembers dying.
"Ominous and worrying statement." Jack muttered. He was really not liking where this episode was going or what the Doctor (on screen) was implying. He snuck a glance at her from the corner of his eye but she was just frowning at the screen – that was not reassuring or alleviating any of his fears.
12 finds a skull with power leads attached to its temple and connected to a console, he asks if that's why they stare into the eye sockets of a skull
"Calm down Hamlet." Martha rolled her eyes at the Doctor's drama.
"I'm more worried about why there is a skull with leads attached. Who attached them? And how did Mr Skull die?" Mickey pointed out.
"Mr Skull?" His wife asked, turning to him with an incredulous look that drew a few chuckles from the rest of the room. He just shrugged but was grinning too much to actually mean it. The Doctor was just glad for the distraction from the questions – they would all find out at some point and none would like the answers.
He takes out the power leads. 12 finds the word 'bird' written in the dust/sand and is confused as he hasn't seen any
The room seemed as bewildered as the Doctor was. "I haven't heard or seen any birds." Ryan announced. The rest of the room nodded in agreement, all searching back in their memories of the episode.
"You wouldn't have." The Doctor announced ominously but as typical refused to say anymore.
Cogs turn as the word vanishes, a wall slides away to reveal a spiral staircase
"Ooh, secret passage way." Jack said in an attempt for a joke that fell flat.
12 climbs the stairs to the battlements at the top of the tower and puts the skull on the crenulations overlooking the sea
The room turned to the Doctor. "Why did you bring the skull with you?" Clara asked, shaking her head exasperated at his antics.
The Doctor's expression flickered between a small smile and a grimace before settling into a blank look. "Just felt right." How did you explain that it was so the cycle could continue (the skull fall into the sea) and also she just liked talking to something – she had spent ages on Trenzalore talking to the head of a Cyberman after all.
12 thinks he is missing something terrible
"It always is." Nardole muttered and was mostly ignored as usual.
Back down the stairs he eventually finds door 12 and opens it to find it blocked
"You found it." Bill grinned like many of the others in the room. At least one mystery was about to be solved. Though they started frowning at seeing just a wall, that wasn't what they had expected nor was it very helpful.
Their high spirits swiftly dissolved at the Doctor's grimace. "I did."
12 calls out to see if anyone is there, and then calls it a lure and trap. Then he's back on the battlements and stares at the stars
"Are you finally going to tell us why the stars are wrong?" Amy asked, looking pointedly at her daughter and the Doctor. The Doctor waved back to the screen in answer drawing an exasperated sigh from Amy.
He's following clues to someone else's game - one everyone else has lost. He knows how to move the wall as long as he doesn't run out of confessions but there's still something he wants to know. Flies buzz
"It's found you."
Who has messed with the stars - they're in the wrong place for the time zone. He can feel time travel and knows he didn't time travel to get there
"You can fell time travel?" Rose asked incredulous. The rest of the room was watching with similar expressions (bar the Master who looked faintly smug).
"I told you when we met that I could feel the turn of the Earth as it hurtled around the sun. I am a Time Lord or well … you know what I mean. Of course, I can feel time travel." The Doctor answered, faltering slightly at the reminder of the lack of knowledge surrounding her own species and life prior to what she remembered.
The Veil comes up behind him. 12 keeps talking, saying if he didn't know better he's thought he'd be seven thousand years in the future
"Seven thousand years?!" Several people exclaimed. Clara and the Doctor just grimaced, seven thousand years was nothing as they would soon see.
"Just watch, please."
The Veil reaches for him but the Doctor mentions the Hybrid and it pauses
"I'm guessing that's what Gallifrey wants to know about?" Yaz asked, gaining a nod from the Doctor. The Master had perked up at the mention of the Hybrid, he hadn't known this was what the confession dial nonsense was all about. In truth he knew very little outside the fact it had happened (to his frustrations), he couldn't deny he was curious to see what the Doctor knew about it.
He tells the Veil about the legend behind it, how a creature - half Time Lord, half Dalek, the ultimate warrior was prophesised to come but no one knew what side it would be on. 12 admits to knowing the Hybrid id real, where and what it is. Then confesses to being afraid. The Veil leaves and castle moves causing the skull to plumet into the sea with the rest of the skulls
The room all shifted uncomfortable at that. They were worried about how the skulls had all fallen into the sea and they were terrified by the idea of the Hybrid. The idea of something being half Time Lord and half Dalek was horrifying – neither species was very nice at all and something that could combine both was nightmare fuel. Even worse than the Master's hybrid of Time Lords and Cybermen.
Martha had a small thought niggling at the back of her mind. There was something wrong with the idea of the Hybrid but she couldn't quite place her finger on it. The rest of the room watched the interaction with concern. The only small silver lining in the encounter was that the Doctor had escaped.
12 runs back to room 12, the wall blocking it is gone. He keeps timing the Veil's arrival as he moves down the corridor with sonic sunglasses on
There were a few snickers and chuckles at seeing the sonic sunglasses – most having forgotten their existence, but the room was mostly too tense for any comments. They could see the Veil following the Doctor and they had the horrible feeling room 12 wasn't going to be as helpful as they wanted it to be.
He removes them as he reaches a wall of crystal - a dark rectangular shape can be seen through it. 12 puts back on the sunglasses as he declares it the last square on the board - the Tardis one confession away
"What is that stuff?" Bill frowned, leaning forward in her seat to try and get a better view of the crystal. The Doctor just waved towards the screen.
River, Jack and the Master had all figured out what it was and were alternating between glancing at the screen and the Doctor, none were liking where this was going. They all knew she wasn't going to tell Gallifrey any of her secrets and there wasn't many other options available.
12 declares the crystal Azbantium, 400 times harder than diamonds and twenty feet thick blocking the way out
"How are you going to get through that?! I don't remember seeing any heavy machinery." Amy snarked purely out of worry. The rest of the group seemed to be having similar thoughts.
"It's never that easy." The Doctor muttered drawing several concerned looks towards her. That was very ominous and worrying. Everything about this video was ominous and worrying – the Doctor on their own, trapped in a torture chamber made by Gallifrey, grieving the death of a friend. That was a recipe for disaster.
He remembers Bird
"Bird? I don't think a bird is going to help here Doctor." Rose argued.
Donna snorted. "It would have to be a bloody big bird." That startled a small smile out of the Doctor.
In the Tardis, 12 is angry about how he can't keep doing it, why can't it be someone else's turn?
"What do you mean Doctor?" Jack asked wearily, sounding and looking like he was about to approach a wounded animal. He really wasn't liking where this was going. Both the video and the Doctor's rant.
"Please Jack, just watch."
"Doctor-."
"Just watch."
Clara wants to know how he is going to win, 12 wants to lose just this once
The whole room was turned towards the Doctor concern obvious as she shrunk in her seat, pulling her knees up to her chest as if to hide. She knew why she couldn't lose – Gallifrey couldn't know the secrets she knew and (more importantly) she needed Clara back.
Clara was the only one with any idea of why he was really unable to lose and she looked so sad that the Doctor couldn't meet her eyes.
It would be easy to lose, to just tell them what they want to know about the Hybrid
"You would never."
The Veil arrives as 12 is sitting on the ground in a chance cut part way into the Azbantium. In the Tardis, 12 is running around
DOCTOR: I can't keep doing this. I can't! I can't always do this! It's not fair! Clara, it's just not fair! Why can't I just lose?
"Oh, Sweetie." River sighed, an underlying sadness and depth to it that broke the Doctor's hearts slightly. She didn't like being the one to cause River sadness.
"I'm fine, River." The Doctor put on a blank face to try and allay some of River's worries. She'd ben in a bad place back then and it really wasn't helping her argument about being okay now.
"You never are." There was nothing she could say to that.
The Blackboard says no. 12 tells her he can remember it all and she'll still be gone, he sits down distraught
Seeing the Doctor distraught on screen seemed to be Clara's limit. She practically leapt up from her seat and made her way over to the Doctor, dragging her out of her seat and into a hug.
"I'm still not sure I'm a hug-y person." The Doctor muttered into Clara's shoulder. It was a small relief to release she was still taller than Clara even if only by a little.
"I'm not sure you get a choice." Clara muttered back; voice choked up in emotion. She pulled back after several minutes, leaving her hands on the Doctor's shoulders to force her to face her. "Now listen here, you idiot. You are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to cry. But what you are not allowed to do is destroy yourself in your grief! You have to keep moving because that is who you are, be sad but don't let it stop you."
The Doctor swallowed, but nodded slightly. This video was bringing up so many memories and emotions that she had long since dealt with (read: buried). Finally, Clara released her and moved back towards her seat, leaving River and Jack to drag the Doctor back down onto their sofa. The rest of the room had been looking away in an attempt to give the pair their privacy but Jack and River had kept a careful eye on the pair's interaction – unwilling to let the Doctor out of their worried sight at the moment.
Clara finally speaks telling him he's not the only person to ever lose someone, he needs to get over it and break through. Get off his arse and win
Clara nodded along with the imaginary version of herself in the Doctor's mind, giving the Doctor a pointed look. Clearly, the Doctor already knew all that (as it was in their mind) but it was good to see it verbalised on screen. It wasn't surprising that the Doctor knew how to deal with grief, it wasn't like Clara was the first of their companions to leave or die – they all did at some point.
The rest of the room couldn't help but guiltily think about if the Doctor had mourned them as much as they seemed to be grieving Clara on screen.
Back in room 12, the Doctor stands to face the Veil as it enters. He tells it there are no more confessions but he will tell the truth
"What are you planning Doctor?" Jack asked worriedly. The answering grimace was really not reassuring.
12 punches the Azbantium and cries out in pain
"Doctor!" Half the room shouted at seeing the Doctor purposely hurt themself.
"What the hell do you think you're up too?" River demanded fury raging with her concern.
"It was the only way out." The Doctor protested, purposely trying to stay calm in the face of River's fury.
"Punching your way through a wall of Azbantium!?" River argued.
"Yes. What else was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know! Figure something out, you always find a way out." River was verging on begging at this point.
"I did. This was the only way River. I promise, I wasn't just doing it for fun. It was the only way." The Doctor practically pleaded for River to understand.
The fury in River's eyes had been drowned by her sorrow and concern. "I hate seeing you hurt like this." The simplicity and honestly of the statement broke the Doctor's heart.
"I know, I'm sorry. There was no other way." She met River's eyes in an attempt to show she truly meant it. River took a second to calm herself, squeezing the Doctor's hand painfully tight but she barely noticed. The Doctor reluctantly turned to the rest of the room. "Just watch please. There is more to come."
"More?!" Jack protested looking like he wanted to pry all the answers out of the Doctor now but she just shook her head and waved to the screen, they would just have to watch.
Clara couldn't help but feel guilty, he was going through all this pain for her. Yes, it was to keep secrets from Gallifrey as well but mostly it was to get her back. The Master's eyes were dark and furious at seeing the Doctor hurt by Gallifrey yet again.
He declares the Hybrid a dangerous secret that needs to be kept, and keeps puncing the wall, crying out each time
The whole room watched the video concern and sadness clear in their expressions. They hated seeing the Doctor in pain like this but there was nothing they could do now and the Doctor wasn't likely to appreciate any attempts to help.
12 refuses to tell it anymore. Instead he's going to get out of there, find the people that put him in there and stop them. He keeps punching eventually doubling over in pain
Several people across the room made wounded sounds or the start of protests. River had pulled the Doctor closer to her side again in an attempt to comfort herself. Jack had also shifted closer to box her in properly, hating seeing the Doctor wounding herself purposely. And there was still the danger of the Veil coming after the Doctor onscreen too.
"Of course, you're still focused on stopping the bad guys." Jack muttered to her.
"Bad guys?" The Doctor asked with a raised eyebrow. She was the least bothered by everything on screen at minute – it had already happened and it wasn't the worst part of the experience, despite how painful it had been.
"You know what I mean." That received a small smile from the Doctor which Jack couldn't bring himself to return.
It's going to take a while so he offers to tell a story - the Brother's Grimm
"When did you meet them?" Clara asked, partly in an attempt to distract herself from the scene on screen and partly because she was genuinely curious.
"You know I can't quite remember." The Doctor answered, faces scrunched up as she tried to think back. She was sure she had met them in a couple of faces.
"It's very typical you to be telling a story while trying to punch through rock." Amy shook her head in disbelief at the Doctor who just shrugged with a small smile – it wasn't like she had much else to do and it was a nice distraction.
"Azbantium."
"That's what I said."
Who are apparently on his darts team
That drew several looks from the room. A mix of exasperation and disbelief, but no actual questions or comments. They were all far too used to the Doctor name dropping famous people.
The story starts with an emperor who asks a shepherd's boy, how many seconds in eternity? The Veil reaches for the the Doctor, closing its hands around 12's eyes and causing him to scream as steam rises from his skin. He falls to the ground and the Veil is teleported away as the screens go to static
"Doctor!" The room cried out at seeing the Veil attack the Doctor. The Doctor just grimaced – here was the painful part.
"Doctor. What did it do to you?" Clara asked scarily calm but with an underlying tension. Unlike the rest of the room - she knew how long he had spent in the confession dial but not what had gone on in it. She hated the knowledge that she was part of the reason the Doctor was suffering.
The Doctor hesitated. She knew they weren't going to like the answer but they were going to see it shortly so it wasn't like she could actually lie. Her hesitation just increased the tension in the room, everyone's eyes were glaring into her. Taking a deep breath and mentally preparing herself before answering. "It killed me. Or well, just about."
The protests and cries deafened her for a moment, all of them asking for an explanation as she was clearly with them and this wasn't how she had regenerated. "I promise the video will explain. Can we please just watch it?" She managed to speak over the rest of the group. No one looked happy about it but there were no further protests.
In the Tardis store room
DOCTOR: People always get it wrong with Time Lords. We take forever to die. Even if we're too injured to regenerate, every cell in our bodies keeps trying. Dying properly can take days. That's why we like to die among our own kind. They know not to bury us early.
12 drags themself up a spiral staircase
The room was watching the screen in horror. All of them shooting the Doctor concerned looks periodically as if to remind themselves she was safe amongst them. Martha and Jack couldn't help but think of the Master dying in their Doctor's arms after the Year That Never Was – he'd been determined to burn his body alone.
The Master himself was leaning back in his armchair but was all but calm and relaxed. A tight ball of fury was coiling away in his stomach. He found himself regretting the destruction of Gallifrey – he should have taken much longer to kill them, really make it hurt, rather than the quick destruction he had caused. No one got away with destroying the Doctor, no one.
The Doctor was grimacing slightly at the screen, more out of seeing the state of herself (himself?) on screen than the actual pain and memories. She had spent so long in the confession dial – the pain didn't become any less painful but she had gotten good at distancing herself from it. Spending time with River and then staying busy had helped, it hadn't given her much time to linger on the memories.
12 estimates it will take him a day and a half to reach the top of the tower, if he's lucky he has that long left to live
Several people made choked sounds at that. None of them could imagine dying for a day and a half, let alone still having to try and do something about it while dying in agony. River was close to breaking the Doctor's hand at this point but the Doctor couldn't find it in herself to protest as long as it comforted her wife. It didn't help that the Doctor was visibly wearing their wedding ring on his burnt and broken hand. The sight and sounds from the screen were enough to help fuel future nightmares for most of them.
12 keeps dragging themself along the floor, leaving a trail of blood. He explains the place is his own torture chamber, designed for him alone. There were never any other prisoners, the stars aren't wrong and he hasn't time travelled
"They're all your skulls. You've been there for seven thousand years, dying over and over." Clara managed to choke up. Anger and guilt swirling away in the pit of her stomach at the realisation which was only made worse by remembering how long he had actually been in the confession dial. The rest of the room had reached a similar realisation.
"I think you may beat me in number of deaths Doctor." Jack muttered; a deep sadness attached to his words. He really wouldn't wish his fat eon anyone. "Always have to one up me." The Doctor just shrugged, expression carefully schooled blank - there was still more to come.
He reaches the teleport chamber room. 12 declares that he's just been there a very long time. Like how every room resets the teleport should do the same. If he adds energy he should reset to his original condition as a copy of him still exists in the hard drive, he just needs to find the energy
The site of the Doctor struggling to do anything and everything, in so much agony and all alone drew tears into several people's eyes. River had to hide her head in the Doctor's shoulder for a moment to compose herself.
He puts the power cables to his temple and says to get energy you need to burn something
"Please tell me you're not about to do what I think you're about to do." Rose begged. They had all made the connection and all seemed horrified by the idea. Too many things were finally adding up and they made a truly terrifying picture.
The Doctor's grimace was all the answer the group needed. They watched on horrified and traumatised as their friend burned themselves only to re-start the whole mess.
The dying Doctor takes the lever and pulls it down, sending power to the teleporter. His hand falls to the ground and he uses the last of his energy to write bird in the dust as the cogs turn and teleporter powers up. 12 asks Clara how long he can keep burining the old him to make a new one. The Tardis goes dark as the burnt hand turns to dust and all the bloodstains disappear. We're back to where we started
"I hate Gallifrey." Clara announced at seeing the Doctor burn himself. Her anger winning out over her own guilt and grief. An anger at the Doctor for ignoring her wishes, an anger at the situation, and an anger at Gallifrey for doing this to the Doctor.
"Clara-." The Doctor started to protest.
"No. First what they did to you as a child and then this?! I don't agree with the Master destroying them all but some of them were monsters." Clara argued, hand waving around to emphasise her anger.
The Master was coiled away in his corner as if ready to leap into action. "They deserved to burn for what they did to you Doctor. If I had known about this, I would have made them suffer more, dearest."
The Doctor turned her own anger on the Master. "The sins of a few shouldn't have meant that all had to be destroyed."
"This isn't the first time they've hurt you and if they'd been allowed to continue, it wouldn't have been the last! Don't forget that I know more than any of your little pets, I know more than anyone what Gallifrey has done to you!"
"They didn't all deserve to die, Koschei." The Doctor protested weakly. The fury in his eyes quelled slightly at his childhood name but he refused to back down, maintain eye contact until the Doctor finally turned back to the screen. The pair ignored the rest of the room watching them.
We get a scene from the start - 12 appears in the teleport and declares he's coming for the people that put him there
The room winced at seeing the repeat of where they had started. It was painful to know the Doctor had been going through this for seven thousand years, alone with their grief, nightmares and pain, but it was worse to realise they didn't actually know how long the Doctor had been stuck in the confession dial. No one was willing to ask, far too scared of the answer.
We get flashes of stuff we've already seen - 12 throwing the stool out the window and diving out, the ocean of skulls, exchanging the wet clothes, putting the skull on the battlements and then he punches a little bit more of the Azbantium wall
The group watched in horror at the familiar scenes being played again to show the Doctor repeating everything. They couldn't imagine doing that for seven thousand years and yet the Doctor was sitting here amongst them like it hadn't even affected her. Well, that wasn't quite true they couldn't help but remember how she had reacted upon figuring out what episode they would be seeing. Maybe it still did affect her.
Later on the tower, he decides he's twelve thousand years in the future
The jump in time made the group shoot more concerned looks at the Doctor. Clara just winced unable to deny her guilt, she felt far too complacent in this despite knowing that it wasn't her fault really. He was doing all this for her, no matter how much she wished he wasn't.
Then six hundred thousand years in the future
The large jump in time this go around finally gave Jack to ask the question they all wanted to know the answer to but dreaded.
"How long Doctor? How long did you spend in there dying?" His tone was quiet but steely.
The Doctor bit her lip, frowning. Should she answer them? No, probably not – they'd see. "Just watch Jack." Her own tone suggested that she wouldn't budge on the matter.
"I really hate those words."
The cycles keep going
How many seconds in eternity and the shepherd's boy says ...
Two million years in the future
The group winced and got more horrified as the time jumps got larger and larger. Realising the Doctor had spent so long dying over and over.
Twenty million years in the future
The shepherd's boy says, there is a mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it or go around it
"I'm starting to see why the story is relevant." Bill muttered mostly to herself. Everyone hated seeing the Doctor like this, watching them die over and over in agony and alone, but she couldn't help think it was worse for her. This was her Doctor, her tutor and crazy grandfather figure. Maybe Clara, Jack and River had it worse (she knew it wasn't a competition) but it was almost physically painful to see her Doctor in so much pain for so long. In a way she couldn't help but be relived that the Doctor had been forced to regenerate after her death/conversion, it meant the Doctor hadn't had time to try and get revenge or do anything spectacularly stupid. She would have hated for the Doctor to go through this much pain for her – it made her ten years of waiting for him seem so little compared to his millions of years.
More flashes
52 million years
Every 100 years a little bird uses the mountain to sharpen its beak
"And there's the bird." Someone muttered, but everyone's gaze was firmly fixed to the screen as the horror continued. They'd been right in comparing it to a horror movie, just not for the reasons they'd thought.
And when the entire mountain is chiselled away, the first second of eternity will have passed
Well over a billion years in the future
It hit Clara like a hammer that a billion years was only about a quarter of his time in the confession dial. She didn't think she could cope with seeing much more of the Doctor's pain. She glanced at the Doctor (as she and most of the others in the room had been doing periodically), who had been watching the screen with a blank face – her attempt to act nonchalant like the whole thing hadn't affected her. Clara wasn't sure who the Doctor was trying to fool, it wasn't like anyone in the room was going to believe that.
Two billion years
It sounds like a long time, but 12 thinks ...
The Azbantium wall finally gives way, bright light floods in and the Veil explodes
The room gave a loud cheer at finally seeing the Azbantium give way. The Doctor's billions of years of torture were finally over. Only Clara and the Doctor were aware that it had not been just two billion years (as the video had implied) but had in fact been over double that but neither were going to mention that to the room. Two billion years was bad enough. No seven thousand years had been bad enough, two billion years was indescribably horrible. Four and a half billion years was about the same age as the Earth was in the twenty first century. The idea of the Doctor being tortured for as long as the Earth was old was incomprehensible.
DOCTOR: Personally, I think that's a hell of a bird.
"Of course, you would." River muttered looking down at her wife with eyes fill of sorrow. The Doctor really hadn't gone into any detail of this during their years on Darillium, for understandable reasons – no one would really want to remember this amount of trauma. And knowing the Doctor she likely didn't want to worry River, the idiot.
12 walks out a portal created by the hole he made in the Azbantium wall and ends up on a dry planet. The portal closes and a small round metal object falls to the ground. 12 picks it up to find a miniature castle surrounded by water before cogwheels fill the space and the cover closes. It's his confession dial
"Your confession dial." Clara stated. She never thought she would come to hate the sight of it when she was first presented with it by Missy.
"What happened to it?" Martha asked, wanting to know that it couldn't hurt her again.
The Doctor grimaced. "It's somewhere deep in the Tardis, nowhere else is safe as much as I hate it." That answer seemed to satisfy the group (on this matter at least) and the video was left to continue.
A young boy runs up to him and 12 tells him to go to the city and find someone important and tell them he's back and know what they did. If they ask who he is, to tell them he came the long way round
"You're not going to get a nice reception." The Master stated. He knew that from personal experience. The Doctor grimaced, that was an understatement to say the least.
The boy runs off towards a towering Citadel revealing the planet to be Gallifrey
"You're on Gallifrey." Rose said, rather redundantly but the Doctor answered anyway.
"Yes."
Amy gave her a thoughtful look. "You mentioned you'd been back to Gallifrey once since saving it and it went badly. I'm guessing this is that visit."
"Unfortunately."
12 speaks to the confession dial, figuring they can probably still hear him. They have the prophecy wrong - the hybrid isn't half Dalek as that is impossible, the Daleks would never allow it
That was a small relief to the group. They'd mostly forgotten the reason the Doctor was being tortured in favour of the fact the Doctor was being tortured but it was still a relief to know that the Hybrid wasn't part Dalek. None of their encounters with Daleks ever went well. Martha finally made the connection that had been bothering her before - their encounter with the Daleks in New York. The Daleks had killed one of their own for being part human, of course they wouldn't allow a Hybrid to exist. Let alone one that is a mix of Time Lord – their fiercest enemy.
12 puts on his sonic sunglasses
DOCTOR: The Hybrid destined to conquer Gallifrey and stand in its ruins is me
The room turned to face the Doctor, both because of the statement and at the realisation that the video was finished. There were so many things they all wanted to say but none were quite sure where to start. It was Clara that finally breached the silence.
"Do you mean 'me' as in you? Or Me as in Ashildr?" Clara asked. She was glad the torture was finally over but was dreading the vents she knew was to come. Upon seeing the Doctor's hesitation, she realised something else. "Did you even know what the Hybrid was? Or were you just bluffing so you could get back to Gallifrey?" The 'and get me back' was silent but heavily implied for those that knew about that part.
"I had my theories but I didn't actually know for definite." The Doctor finally admitted. "I just needed Gallifrey to think I knew everything. Ashildr made some sense as a hybrid between the Mire and Humans but nothing else would fit. I don't even know what species I am so it is possible that I could be the Hybrid but unlikely as I didn't ultimately destroy Gallifrey." She turned from Clara to face the Master. "The person that would make most sense would be the Master – he was the one who destroyed Gallifrey 'breaking a billion billion hearts to heal its own', sounds like something he'd do. Plus, there was the whole Cybermen/Time Lord Hybrids." The Doctor continued to theorise.
"So basically, you have no actual idea." She heard Amy mutter in the background but the Doctor was too busy in a staring match with the Master.
Clara nodded along with the Doctor's theories thoughtfully. "Ashildir mentioned it could be a combination of two people, specifically me and you." She pointed out. The Doctor nodded, that was after all the whole reason one of them had had to forget the other.
River then joined the conversation. "What if it was two people but not Clara and the Doctor, but the Doctor and the Master. Two possibly different warrior species and both stood in the ruins of Gallifrey, both attempting to heal their own hearts." Her theory caused the aforementioned pair to stop their staring contest and turn to face River.
"It fits about as much as any other theory." The Doctor nodded resigned to the fact they might never know for sure.
"Does it really matter? Gallifrey has been destroyed so it has already happened, it doesn't matter the cause." Jack argued. They were really getting distracted from the actual video. Having gained the group's attention, he continued. "Can we discuss the video now?"
The Doctor shared a glance with Clara, as the only people that had been around for the whole mess. "Not yet. There's more to see still." The Doctor declared, quite glad for an excuse to not talk about the video. From the concerned looks and frowns the group were sending her they had realised that. "Let's continue."
