Chapter 15

Caitlyn stood, her right leg raised, foot resting on top of the wooden board that ran across the fence that separate her from large open field. Two large black stallions ran openly, occasionally running alongside each other. She wasn't sure how long she had stood watching, but the sun that once sat above her, began lowering itself in the sky.

"Thunder and lightning?"

"What?" Caitlyn asked, as she turned around to see her aunt Katie making her way up next to her.

"The larger one is thunder, the smaller one, with the white stripe along its side is lightning."

"Clever." Caitlyn said with a smirk.

Her aunt chuckled, as she allowed them to continue to watch in silence for a bit longer. "You want to talk about it?"

Caitlyn looked up, she knew she shouldn't be surprised, her aunt always had a way of seeing through any façade she tried to present. She looked forward, watching the horses run while kicking their back legs. Until she finally felt comfortable enough to speak. "I don't want to go back to England. I don't want to leave Vvv…my friends."

Caitlyn's aunt nodded as she inched closer to her. The smell of cattle and horses filling Caitlyn's nostrils. A comforting smell, as it reminded her of her milk woman.

"Oxford University is a great school. A great opportunity" her aunt said softly.

Caitlyn shook her head, a stray tear sneaking its way down her cheek. She didn't care how great of a school it was. Didn't care what opportunities would come from it. She just wanted the older woman who made her heart feel like it would beat out of her chest. Just wanted to live a simple life, if it meant she got to come home every night to the only person who ever made her feel seen.

"I don't care" Caitlyn finally said, as her head sank to lean against the fence.

"I know" her aunt said softly, as she placed her hand on Caitlyn's back. "You ever had a cowboy dinner?"

"A what?" Caitlyn asked, surprised by the change in topic.

"a cowboy dinner" her aunt said once more. "Once a week, everyone that works on the ranch gets together, and we all cook for each other. From meats, to biscuits, we cook everything out on an open fire."

Caitlyn smiled, the thought of all her aunts ranch hands, sitting and cooking over an open fire sounded chaotic, but somehow cathartic. She wasn't exactly sure what to expect, as she followed her aunt, as they walked back to the large ranch house. The closer they got, the louder the group became.


There must have been almost 50 people here, Caitlyn thought. As ranch hands, and their family's littered the back lawn. Small children kicked a couple of balls around, as their mother's placed plates and utensils along the wooden tables. The men chatted enthusiastically about the proper way to cook meat over a fire, as they passed cold beers around.

For the first time all day, Caitlyn wasn't thinking about England, as she watched her aunt interact with all of her workers and their families. It was so much different than her own mother, who always acted superior to anyone she employed, or even interacted with.

Her aunt was friendly, kind, acted like one of them, not like she was in charge of them. She watched as they all gave her respect, not out of fear, but something else. Something more genuine. It was a breath of fresh air, to be around someone who wasn't afraid to be nothing but herself.

All day she had watched her aunt get dirty, doing what most would call a man's job. But she didn't flinch, didn't care, when the men needed help, she jumped right in to assist. It reminded her more and more of Vi, only causing her heart to break at the thought of leaving her.

Her thoughts were interrupted when one of the older men pulled out his guitar. She watched as another ran to his truck, pulling out a fiddle. The two began to play, as half the group broke out in a song she didn't recognize. She watched, intrigued by the interaction, as some of the men pulled their wives up and began dancing around the fire. The one's not dancing, began clapping to the rhythm of the music.

Before Caitlyn knew it, her hands were joining the group. Clapping along to the twangy beat. She had never been one for county music, but this was different, it was more than music, it was a group of people becoming a family, even if only for the evening.

Just then a man yelled, as the group rose, each grabbing their plates, as they made there way to the large fires. A small boy handed Caitlyn a plate, as her aunt motioned for her to join the line of people.

Caitlyn held her plate out, as sausage, ribs, potatoes, a biscuit , and different kinds of salads were loaded onto her plate. She had never seen so much food. Had never had so many different smells hit her at once. Her mouth watered as she made her way to a large table, a couple other young men and woman taking a seat next to her. They all introduced themselves, before digging into the delicious hot meal. Caitlyn took bite after bite, watching as her aunt made sure everyone's plates were filled, before filling her own.

Her aunt then made her way next to Caitlyn, as the group continued to chat, the conversation light and full of humor. Caitlyn turned to her aunt, who took small bites of her food, her eyes on her workers, making sure everyone felt safe and included. "How do you do it?" Caitlyn asked. "How do you run such a large ranch as a woman?"

Her aunt smiled, as she leaned in closer to Caitlyn. "You respect them, they will respect you."


Caitlyn woke the next morning with a new found determination. She wasn't going to let her unpredictable future ruin this opportunity, for she was unsure when she would be able to spend time with her aunt again.

She quickly dressed in a pair of casual slacks, a simple blouse, and pair of riding boots. She made her way downstairs, where breakfast was already being served. "good morning, Cait". Her aunt said with a smile. "there's fresh coffee, and biscuits with gravy."

Caitlyn sat at the kitchen table, the warm cup of coffee soothing her nerves. "anything I can help with today?"

Her aunt looked up, somewhat surprised. "there's always something to do around here." And with that Caitlyn finished her breakfast before making her way out to the barn with her aunt.

She watched, as large men moved bales of hay like they were weightless. Just as other men swung saddles onto the horses that lined the barn walls. Her aunt giving out tasks for the day, each farm hand taking their task without hesitation. It was like watching a well-oiled machine. Each person having a part to play, each person a cog in the mechanical device. The wheel not turning if not all pieces do there part.

"Ryan" Katie called over. "my niece would like to help out today. Could you help show her the ropes?"

"Of course" a young hansom man said, as he walked over to Caitlyn. "first we have to clean out the horse stalls." He said, as he handed Caitlyn a pitch fork. She took it gracefully as she followed him to the stables.

After an hour or so of scooping horse manure out of the stalls, the young man led her to some hay bales. "We have to make sure all the horses have fresh hay, for when they are brought back." Caitlyn nodded, as he showed her how much hay to scoop, and where to throw it.

The afternoon was filled with light chatter, as Ryan told Caitlyn how he had just graduated high school and was grateful he was able to get this job as a farm hand, because his girlfriend who he planned on marrying was pregnant. Caitlyn was surprised by the openness, but she quickly realized the family feel that went along with working on the ranch. Deep down she knew it was more than that, it was a safe place. No judgment, as long as you can perform your tasks.

Just as Caitlyn thought her day was going to be filled with tedious manual labor, Ryan handed her a large brush. "This is my favorite part." He said with a smile, as he brought Caitlyn into one of the stalls, where a beautiful brown mare stood. Caitlyn looked over the horse that stood above her, the feeling of being so small not lost on her, as she began to brush it's coat. The soft lines that the brush drew on the horse's back were like a paintbrush on paper.

The horse whipped its tail, its back sputtering, as Caitlyn brushed the dried dirt from its body. She could quickly see why this was the young man's favorite part of the day. It was cathartic in a way, bringing peace as the large creature enjoyed it's pampering. She quickly became lost in the thought, thinking about the young woman who had stolen her heart.

She thought about what Vi meant to her, wondered if she meant just as much to the older woman. Thought about what life could really be like for the two of them. Could they really be together, or are they both indulging in a dangerous delusion. Caitlyn was quickly pulled from her thoughts, as Ryan began to hum a peaceful tune from the stall next door. Caitlyn closed her eyes and let herself get lost in it's beautiful rhythm.


As the sun began to set, Caitlyn made her way back up to the large ranch house. Her muscles ached, and she smelled of manure, but it was one of the best days she had, had in a while, not counting her days spent with Vi. As she entered the kitchen, her aunt was sitting at the table, an apple in her hand, and a smile on her face. "heard you did pretty good for your first day."

Caitlyn smiled, as she slowly took a seat at the table. "It was a good day, but I'm afraid I'll be feeling it tomorrow."

Her aunt laughed before taking a bite out of her apple. "don't worry, I had Cynthia draw you a bath. You can soak before dinner." Caitlyn smiled, the thought of soaking her muscles sounding better than it ever had before.

"Thank you".

After dinner, her aunt told her to get some rest. Caitlyn wasn't sure she could do two days in a row of this, but she was willing to try. But when her aunt told her they would be making a special trip into town to pick up some cattle, Caitlyn was grateful knowing she wouldn't be using her arms to lift anything, as she could feel the ache already settling in.


The next morning Caitlyn woke early as usual. She got dressed, moving her arms as little as possible before making her way down for breakfast. Her aunt had already eaten, as the kitchen staff told Caitlyn her aunt was out hooking up some horse trailers to the trucks that they would be taking into town. Caitlyn quickly ate her breakfast, before heading out to see the group of men load up the last trailer.

"You ready?" her aunt asked, as she approached Caitlyn.

"I suppose".

"Don't worry, me and you are heading out early, I thought we could do some shopping, and have some girl talk while my men pick up the cattle."

Caitlyn smiled at this. It had been so long since she had gone shopping, or had proper girl talk. Vi wasn't exactly the most girly, so taking her shopping, and discussing cute dresses wasn't exactly an option. They climbed into the large truck, as they set off towards the bustling town of Dallas.

Dallas was by far the largest American town Caitlyn had seen this far. The streets were lined with boutiques favoring a country theme mixed with a modern edge. Tall buildings surrounded the area, while blue stars made their way on to every sign. Large billboards displayed music artists, and their next performances. Caitlyn was in awe, as they drove through the center of town.

Her aunt parked outside of a particularly large shopping center. They both exited the vehicle, as they made their way towards the shops. Western style hats, and boots were displayed in every window, as Caitlyn imagined what she would look like in the western outfit displayed upon the manikin. "You want to try it on?" Her aunt asked, noticing her interest.

"Oh no, I don't think I could pull that look off. Besides, I'm not sure that's the type of thing they would wear to Oxford."

"Well how about at least a pair of boots?"

Caitlyn smiled, as her aunt led the way inside of the western store. Several different styles of boots lined the wall. From work wear to fashionable with long tassels that fell down the sides. Caitlyn opted for something in the middle. A simple brown boot, that had a sunflower pattern. After finding her size and trying them on, she couldn't help but wonder what Vi would think of her in them, only for her reality to hit. She was home the next day, and only had about a week left, before she was being sent back to England.

"What's wrong, you don't like them?" Her aunt asked, noticing the quick change in Caitlyn's mood.

"I love them." Caitlyn said, her eyes still on the boots that hugged her feet perfectly.

"Then I'm buying them for you. Something to remember me by."

Caitlyn looked up at her aunt, as tears filled her eyes. Could this really be the end of her journey in America. The thought of leaving not just one but two people she loved behind, hitting her harder than she thought it would.

"Oh sweetheart, I didn't mean to upset you." Her aunt said, as she brought Caitlyn into a tight embrace.

"Its not that." Caitlyn said, her voice muffled by her aunt's shirt.

"Then what is it dear?"

"These past couple of days have been amazing, some of the best, but, but, she's not, I'm not." Caitlyn couldn't get the words out without giving herself away, without ruining her reputation even further. She knew her aunt was not judgmental, but she didn't know how deep that ran.

"How about we go buy these boots, then go get a treat, and talk." Her aunt said, as she helped Caitlyn place the boots back in the box.

With the new box of boots held tightly in the bag, that fell to her side, they made their way across the street, to a small Café. The inside smelled of freshly brewed coffee, along with tasty pastries. After each of them indulged in getting a way to fancy coffee, and donut, they made their way out to a park, where they sat watching the place come to life. Minutes were spent in silence, as Caitlyn drank her coffee, contemplating how much information she actually wanted to share with her aunt. "Why didn't you come back to England? After uncle Trevor passed." Caitlyn asked, breaking the silence.

Her aunt looked at her with a puzzled look. Like going back to England was never even an option. "Because my home was here now." She said simply, while taking a sip of her coffee.

"But didn't you miss your family, your parents?"

"Of course I did, I still do. I think I missed your father the most actually. There was one day, a couple of months after Trevor passed, I was having a really hard time. I felt alone, I was struggling to keep the ranch going by myself, so I called your father. And do you know what he said to me?"

Caitlyn shook her head, as she listened closely.

"He told me I would regret it, if I gave up and came back home. He told me to try and stick it out, because he knew that I needed this place."

Caitlyn was shocked to hear this. She always thought her father shared the same thought that the rest of her family did, and that her aunt Katie should have come back home. Should have remarried some English man and supplied her family with grandchildren.

"Why did you never remarry?" Caitlyn asked, knowing the question was a little taboo.

She smiled softly before answering. "Trevor was it for me. He was my one and only true love. Don't get me wrong, I've still gotten back on the horse." Her aunt said, as she winked at Caitlyn, only causing Caitlyn to blush at the idea of her aunt having premarital sex with other people. "But none of them could ever compare to what I had with him."

"I think I've met my one and only true love." Caitlyn said the words spilling out, before she could stop them.

Her aunt smiled at her. "So that's why you have been so down about this move?"

Caitlyn nodded, as more tears filled her eyes.

"Why don't you tell your parents about him?" She asked as she put her had comfortingly on Caitlyn's back.

"Because,…because they wouldn't approve." Caitlyn said, as more tears fell from her eyes.

Her aunt leaned forward, reaching her arms around Caitlyn's body. "My parents didn't approve of my love for Trevor either. But I didn't let that stop me from moving to another country for the man, and I was just about your age."

The irony was not lost on Caitlyn, but she couldn't help feel like her love was impossible, especially in the world they lived in. "But what if society doesn't approve?"

Her aunt looked at her, slightly confused, but did not want to push Caitlyn to give any information she didn't feel comfortable giving. "If you love them, you will figure it out."

Caitlyn wasn't sure if that was possible but suddenly felt more positive about her future with Vi. She knew love couldn't solve all problems, but she wasn't willing to give it up without a fight.


The next morning, Caitlyn packed her bags, feeling a great loss for the place she had only briefly visited. She made her way down to the kitchen, where her aunt was already waiting for her. "Trucks all warmed up. We will meet your father at the airport."

Caitlyn nodded, as she sat down for her last breakfast in the comforting kitchen, surrounded by the kind staff. On her way out, several ranch hands rushed over to say their goodbyes and wished Caitlyn safe travels. She felt a sense of loss, as she waved them goodbye, as her aunt pulled the truck away from the large ranch.

The ride to the airport was filled with light conversation about her short visit, and what Caitlyn had done over the summer so far. Once they arrived at the airport, her father was waiting with his bags, just outside the front door. Her aunt got out, placing Caitlyn's bags to the side, before pulling her brother into a huge hug. After they exchanged their pleasantries, she stepped in front of Caitlyn. "I've missed you." Caitlyn nodded as more tears threatened to spill over. "Please come back and visit me soon." Her aunt said, before leaning forward, and pulling Caitlyn into a hug. After a moment Caitlyn went to pull away, but her aunt leaned in closer, whispering into her ear. "Go get your girl."

Caitlyn's heart stopped; her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't move, as her eyes widened in terror. Her aunt leaned back, giving her arms a gentle squeeze, before hoping back in her truck to take off, leaving Caitlyn frozen in place.

She didn't know how much time had passed, or how long she had gone without moving, as she sat there with her aunt's words still echoing in her mind. Her father's words, finally breaking through the fog that had clouded her vision. "Come on Cait, we need to go check in."