Professor Snape waited until they were approaching the gates to tell Hermione the truth.

She was already feeling out-of-sorts because Harry had left the castle to go somewhere with Dumbledore. Although she had no idea what the two of them were doing, she knew it must be dangerous. Ron, who probably knew exactly what the headmaster was getting Harry to do, didn't help her anxieties with the wide-eyed expression of solemnity he wore at the news of Harry's immediate departure. And yet Harry was far more concerned about Malfoy and had urgently told his best friends about Professor Trelawney overhearing Malfoy yelling in celebration in the Room of Requirement, which meant that his 'plan' was surely about to occur at any second, especially given that Dumbledore would be absent from the school, leaving them all in grave danger.

If Hermione didn't know that Malfoy's task was to kill Dumbledore, she might've been more inclined to believe Harry - but that was something that she knew and the boys didn't. It had crossed her mind to tell them then, to reassure Harry that - by leaving the castle - Dumbledore was surely thwarting Malfoy's plan even with whatever means the Slytherin had now successfully come up with to kill him, but there was no time. Harry had entrusted the Marauder's Map and half-empty bottle of Felix Felicis to her and Ron, instructed them to gather whatever students they could to be on guard, and told them to pay just as much attention to Snape's movements as Malfoy's. Then he was gone.

"Professor Snape isn't involved," Hermione had insisted quietly to Ron so that nobody in the Common Room would overhear them. Most of the students were in a buoyant mood after completing their exams a couple of days ago but there were still Fifth and Seventh year tests to be completed tomorrow and Tuesday, so the Tower was moderately quiet in respect for those doing some last-minute studying. "Harry has never wanted to believe that Snape's really on our side, all the way back in First Year."

"We all thought Snape was up to no good with the Philosopher's Stone," Ron pointed out.

"And we were completely wrong," she argued firmly. "Snape could've told Voldemort - stop it, Ron," she hissed at his flinch, "- Snape's had a whole year to pass on the details of my curse but he hasn't. He's helped me a lot this year." The words 'I trust him' were on the tip of her tongue but she couldn't quite bring herself to say them. While she didn't believe that Snape was working for Voldemort, she couldn't rule out that he wasn't working for himself because he didn't seem to be entirely Dumbledore's man either, not with the way he had kept information about her away from the headmaster…

Ron held out both of his palms soothingly. "You're right," he said, "but it's not going to hurt to keep an eye on him while we're watching out for Malfoy's name to reappear on the Map, is it?"

She sighed but didn't say anything. Ron would always side with Harry.

The thought was a little bitter, probably stemming from her ongoing resentment about being denied knowledge of what happened in Harry's lessons with Dumbledore. But she always did feel like she was the second choice for both of them. She didn't want them fawning over her or to be the centre of attention, but it would be nice if one of them picked her first when they had to pair up in class, and not because they were hoping to take advantage of her brain. No wonder she had pushed them away at Christmas, she thought resentfully as darkness seemed to swell up inside her.

Her breath hitched as she suddenly became aware of the grim place where her mind and emotions had led her. What rubbish! She had pushed Ron and Harry away because she hadn't wanted to lie to them, not because she felt unappreciated. They had kept trying and trying to reach out to her during those difficult weeks, but she had steadfastly pushed them away and rejected their friendship even though she thought she was doing the right thing. Why was her mind now twisting the events into something false? Why were her dark thoughts persisting? She couldn't blame the stress of exams anymore. She'd slept no better these last couple of nights even without the test anxiety that had plagued her for a month. Maybe it was worry over Antonin's move that had been producing the blackness inside her all along? That would be understandable, wouldn't it? Her very future was on the line and, as far as she knew, he still hadn't been moved yet. It would make anyone a bit ratty.

Hermione nodded at Ron. "Alright. You start looking. I'm going to find my fake galleon and send a message to alert any DA members who might be able to help."

When she had returned from her dormitory a few minutes later, Ron was frowning at the Map. "I can't find Snape anywhere," he muttered. "I swear I've searched everywhere. You have a look."

But although Hermione had spotted Bill, Remus and Tonks and a couple of other professors patrolling the corridors, she hadn't been able to locate Snape either.

"So that means he's either away from the school or…" Ron paused with a meaningful look at her, "he's in the Room with Malfoy."

Hermione pursed her lips. She was still confident that Snape wasn't helping Malfoy but she couldn't see the point in arguing with Ron. He didn't know most of what Snape had done for her but nor was she going to tell him. Instead, they discussed what to do, when to leave, where to position themselves, how to avoid the Order members and teachers who would surely send them back to their dormitory should they be discovered with curfew approaching.

"Hermione," Ginny called softly as she entered from the portrait hole, a couple of large books in her arms from her study session in the library. Ginny waited until she was right by their table before lowering her head and saying quietly, "Professor Snape says he has to take you to Azkaban tonight, he won't have time tomorrow."

"What?" Ron pulled the Map towards him and quickly started searching the floors. "She's right - he's back - look."

Hermione's eyes lowered to the figure on the Map that he was pointing to. "So he wasn't in the Room. We would've seen if he'd come out." She felt a small vindication that she was right and then it began to sink in that she was going to be seeing Antonin very shortly. "But I can't leave now!" she told her friends, looking appalled. Snape might be blameless but Malfoy was clearly poised to do something in the Room, not to mention that Harry was off doing something dangerous himself. There was no way that she could spend hours in Antonin's cell not knowing what was happening, even if time were moving much slower for her than the rest of the world.

"Do you really think Snape is going to give you the choice?" Ginny asked, sinking into an armchair.

"But, Ginny, you don't understand," Hermione said. "Harry -"

"You're wasting time," Ron cut across her. "Ginny's right - Snape's not going to let you tell him what to do, is he?"

"But -"

"Snape probably knows what's happening, just like the other teachers. If you're not sure that's true, tell him and then he might change his mind. Either way, the sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back," he pointed out. "You're delaying the inevitable and you know it."

"But what if the visit goes ahead and something happens here?" she argued. She knew that Ron spoke sense but she couldn't bear the idea of not being here to help, of letting her friends down.

"Then at least you'll be safe."

Hermione stared at him for a moment, all sorts of emotions flooding through her, then she threw her arms around him. "Bloody hell," he muttered, his body instantly stiffening before he relaxed a little and patted her awkwardly on the back.

"Is someone going to tell me what the fuck is going on?" Ginny hissed. Hermione and Ron pulled apart, the latter opening his mouth with clear disapproval on his face as he looked at his sister. "Please," she scoffed, "you use language like that just as much as I do."

Hermione left Ron to explain as she dashed up the stairs to her dormitory to get herself ready for another trip to Azkaban. If Snape insisted that the trip went ahead, she wasn't going to stay there for a time-affected visit and she didn't care what Antonin said about that. Some excuse would come to her, she was sure, so she unclasped the chain from her neck and tucked the rune key away into her small wooden jewellery box. But then, at the door, she realised her mistake. The quickest way to get back to her friends actually was to wear it: enduring a restless hour with Antonin would only be six minutes for the rest of the world. There was a risk that Snape and the aurors would be suspicious of such a short visit but with Antonin set to be moved imminently, it would soon be forgotten. She retrieved the rune key and hurriedly refastened it.

By the time she returned to say goodbye, Ginny was looking less angry and more anxious.

"Because I'm a day early, I shouldn't have to stay as long," she told her friends in a rushed whisper. "If I get through the grounds and back at a reasonable pace, I reckon I can get back here in well under an hour."

Ron tried to make her take some of the Felix Felicis but Hermione shook her head. "You, Ginny and any other students who answer to the galleon's message will need it more than I do. I'll be safe, like you said."

Hermione certainly thought she might've set a personal record for descending from Gryffindor Tower to the Entrance Hall, even whilst avoiding areas that she remembered were being watched by adults that night. Professor Snape gave her a look of mild surprise as he took in her red face and breathlessness.

"Are you well, Miss Granger?" he asked, his eyes still taking her in.

"I'm fine," she replied. The Hall was completely deserted apart from them and she gave herself a moment to take a deep breath before she rapidly whispered, "But, Professor, we think that there's a chance that Malfoy is going to try another attack tonight - he's in the Room of Requirement right now - before Harry left, he heard -"

Snape held out a palm. "The headmaster has extra adults patrolling the corridors in the unlikely event that anything happens whilst he is absent." His equally quiet reply was calm but also a little derisive, as though he thought the precaution was unnecessary. Some of the tension drained from Hermione's shoulders at his confidence. Snape surely knew more about what was happening with Malfoy than Harry did. Had he got her and Ron all worked up over nothing?

"I, I know that Malfoy can't achieve his ultimate aim with Professor Dumbledore away from the castle," she continued after a slight hesitation. Snape's eyes flashed warningly and cast around the still empty hallway. "But he's shown that he's perfectly willing to endanger others. We might be needed here. Is there really no way that we can go to Azkaban tomorrow when the threat has passed? Can't Professor McGonagall escort me next evening if you can't?"

"No, it has to be tonight," he said. "I'm afraid it can't be avoided."

"Are they moving him tomorrow night?" she asked after the thought suddenly came to her. "Is that why we have to go now?" It would make sense if the school had received a confidential message from Moody that the move was finally going ahead. They wouldn't want to advertise well in advance about the transfer of a Voldemort supporter. There had been all of Sunday to warn her that she couldn't visit tomorrow, how typical that the news had come so late and at such a crucial time.

Instead of answering, Snape gestured towards the door. After a final reluctant glance back up towards the general direction of the Room several floors above her, Hermione stepped out of the castle. It had become just about gloomy enough at this time of night that they didn't need to disguise their exit through the grounds. Despite Snape's assurances that the castle was sufficiently defended, Hermione set a brisk pace. Snape raised no objection and he matched her speed.

They were silent for most of the journey. It hardly mattered that Snape thought the Order members and teachers were enough protection, Hermione still felt jittery and unsettled. The air around them seemed thick with tension, every hurried step away from the castle and away from her friends felt like it was leading her in the wrong direction. She could barely consider how her time with Antonin would go - all she knew was that she definitely wasn't going to have sex with him. It would be impossible given her concerns for Harry and what might be happening at the castle. He wouldn't be at all pleased about that, nor about the shorter visit, but that was just tough - his impending move would soon make him forget about those grievances.

As they neared the gates, Hermione told Snape that she wouldn't be long at Azkaban, that she only needed to stay a few minutes because of the earliness of her visit.

"Hermione…"

She couldn't recall Snape ever speaking her name before. It was that that she noticed first, then the heavy tone in which he'd said it - as though he were about to deliver some very bad news.

"What is it?" she asked fearfully, her heart in her mouth. "What's happened?"

There was a second of silence, a single moment before everything in her life was to change.

"The Dark Lord knows about you and your curse. I have been ordered by him to hand you over. I'm sorry."

Terror flooded through her - her body reacting instinctively even as her mind struggled to truly comprehend his words beyond the revelation that Voldemort somehow knew about the curse. Then her brain seemed to catch up to the rest of what Snape had said and she was surprised to find that her wand was already pointing at him, albeit trembling slightly in her grip. Snape had not moved but simply watched her in the moonlight. "Y-you're sorry?" she said, her voice a rasp in her throat. "Why are you sorry? What do you mean?"

"I have no choice," he replied, voice disturbingly calm. "You must understand. If there were any other way -"

"You're taking me to Voldemort?" she asked in a panicked whisper. The breath that was already strained after their brisk journey through the grounds now struggled to move properly in and out of her lungs at all. For a whole year they had worked so hard and she had compromised many personal boundaries to avoid this ever happening, and now Snape just wanted to bloody hand her over! "You can't!" she wheezed. She should curse him and run for her life (this wasn't quite the scenario that she and Antonin had prepared for but it was every bit as dangerous) but her chest was painfully tight, her mind becoming hazy as panic threatened to overwhelm her.

Snape was stepping closer yet Hermione could only stumble backwards, his hands gripping her arms to stop her falling to the ground. "Breathe," he told her. "I know it's difficult but ignore everything else for now and just focus on breathing. Regain control."

Regain control. She had heard that so often during her Occlumency sessions with Snape and she latched onto the familiarity of the words, taking whatever scraps of comfort were available to her. She took the risk of closing her eyes, turning her attention towards the familiar process of checking and strengthening her mental shields. It wasn't as smooth a procedure as it would normally be, thanks to her alarmed state, but she gradually felt herself coming back together. "You can't take me to him," she told him, her voice only wobbling a little. She opened her eyes and looked straight into his own, pushing his hands away now that she had control over her body again. "It's everything we feared. He'll try to use me against Harry."

"If there were any other option, I swear I would take it," he told her solemnly, "though I know that is no comfort to you."

He was correct - it wasn't.

"If I don't do as the Dark Lord has commanded me, he will kill me," Snape continued. "If I were anyone else - with the exception of Potter or the headmaster - I would not even consider making the trade -"

"But the Order needs you," she interrupted, unable to deny the truth. "We need you to continue being a spy in his ranks more than Harry needs me." She resisted the urge to cry and swallowed despite a very tight throat. "You'll have to stop him and Ron trying to come after me, no matter what Voldemort does. Hopefully he won't be able to use me before the curse takes me. Without Antonin, I should be dead in a couple of days." The words didn't feel real on her tongue. Dead. The best she could hope for was a death that didn't compromise her friends.

"Azkaban has fallen," Snape said and Hermione gasped in shock. "Word hasn't reached the school yet but it is why I was summoned to the Dark Lord earlier this evening. He already has Dolohov. I've seen him."

Hermione battled to keep the panic away. This was what they had feared most of all. With Antonin's touch keeping her alive, who knew how long Voldemort planned to use her. They couldn't let it happen. "Then you should kill me now before it's too late!"

"No," he said sharply. "The Dark Lord means this as a test for me because of my apparent failure to discover your curse. If I claim that you have escaped or were killed in an attempted capture, he would not hesitate to kill me rather than risk having a traitor in his ranks."

"But he'll see the truth if he ever enters my mind," she pointed out, feeling hopeless. "I'm not strong enough to keep out Voldemort even with everything you've taught me."

"No, but you can mislead him."

Her eyes widened. Mislead Voldemort? She hadn't even been practising Occlumency for a year yet, there was no way she could be skilled enough to deceive such a powerful wizard and Legilimens. Snape was expecting too much of her. "I- I can't."

Snape's hands were firm on her arms and he stared intently into her eyes. "You can," he insisted, "because you already have."

She gaped at him. "What?!" What in Merlin's name was he talking about?

"You have already been captured and brought before the Dark Lord before -"

"No, I haven't!"

"He modified your memory so that you would have no recollection of the incident. I don't know the details but can you not think of any moment in the last few weeks where something out of the ordinary happened, something you couldn't explain or a small blank in your memory?"

Hermione struggled to take in what he was saying. It wasn't possible that she had been in Voldemort's presence and come out of it alive. Why would he have let her go? It didn't make any sense. Regardless, she wracked her brain for something that matched what Snape had said. Suddenly, she held a hand to her chest and sucked in a huge gasp as she remembered. "Yes. The night I modified my parents' memories. I don't remember how I got to Antonin's cell after I disapparated. I thought it was because I'd pushed the curse to its limit and it had taken me over but -"

"Taken you over?" he interrupted, frowning. "I do not recall you struggling with the effects of the curse at all, certainly not enough where you would lose awareness of your surroundings within moments of us parting."

She could only hear the thumping of her heart as she focused more intently on that day. She could remember the intensity of the curse getting stronger as the hours passed but was it safe to trust her memories anymore? She and Antonin had thought that perhaps the curse was claiming another day, but none of her subsequent cycles had suggested that was the case. And there were other signs too - her cracked bracelet, her aching and trembling muscles, her sore throat…

Oh Merlin, it had really happened, hadn't it? She felt a weird disconnect from her body, struggling to accept that she had been through something so horrible without any recollection of it. What had Voldemort done to her? Would she ever find out? Nausea settled in her stomach. She must have been seized at Azkaban - by one of the aurors, most likely…

"I know that this is a lot for you to take in," Snape said, interrupting her thoughts. "But I need you to understand what you were able to do under the most extreme circumstances, Hermione, because you'll probably need to do so again. You were clever enough to realise that you couldn't hide everything from the Dark Lord. You chose to protect my knowledge of your curse - all the hours we've spent together this year - to ensure that I could continue my role as spy. You fooled the Dark Lord." He enunciated those final words and Hermione was feeling too many emotions to enjoy the fact that Snape was proud of her. "I can't claim to know what he has planned for you, I cannot reassure you that you won't suffer, but I want you to know that you have the strength to face whatever is coming, and hopefully even survive it. I'm not going to be turning my back on you, I will watch out for you in any way that I can, and I have hope that if we are patient, an opportunity will come for your rescue."

Hermione knew he meant well but she grimaced and shook her head. "No, better to accept that I am lost - I don't want anyone to risk their lives for me. You must stop them, Professor, particularly Harry and Ron. They'll want to try and save me but they mustn't. I don't want to be rescued. Tell the rest of the Order - Tonks, Remus, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Kingsley - they can't help me. They have to let me go. Dumbledore will convince them, won't he? I'm sure he understands. Does - does he know about this? About what you've been ordered to do?"

"No. He and Potter left before I returned to the castle but -"

"How will he react when he finds out?" she asked.

"I don't know," Snape answered, but she had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth.

"He'll be wishing he'd had me killed already, won't he?" she said, before quickly adding, "Don't deny that he has never mentioned the possibility to you. Please. Not now."

After a pause, Snape said, "With Dolohov now freed, unquestionably your greatest chance of surviving the coming days is to be with him."

Perhaps that was as plain an answer as she would get from a spy: if Dumbledore knew Antonin was free, he would see her dead.

"You will have to look to Dolohov for your protection now and hope that all your work over the last months has been worth it," Snape said. "I got a sense of his possessiveness towards you when I visited him last month. Does that remain?"

Hermione nodded. "I think so. I don't know how being free will change him, whether he'll still want the same things." She was scared of the prospect, of the man he might now be without the restriction of those four walls, of finding out how little he really cared about her now that he had new levels of freedom, of how much of what they had shared had been an illusion.

"I don't think he'll give you up easily," Snape said. "You must take advantage of the hold you have over him as much as possible to keep yourself alive and give yourself the chance to rejoin this fight. I know it would be easier for you to give up and I understand that you don't wish for anyone to endanger themselves for your sake, but there might be little I can do to stop them. I will have to lie and say that you were taken at Azkaban just so that they will continue to trust me."

Was it better that her friends thought that she had been abducted during a prison break-out instead of knowingly allowing herself to be handed over? Would it hurt Harry, Ron and the others more if they knew she had accepted her fate instead of having it thrust upon her? Probably. It would definitely worsen their opinions of Snape if they knew he was giving her to Voldemort, he was right about that.

"They will still hate you if you tell them not to rescue me though," she said.

"Most of them already hate me," he replied simply.

She wanted to refute his claim but she didn't know how most of the adults in the Order felt about him. "I don't," she said instead.

He raised an eyebrow. "Not even after this?"

"No. This isn't your fault."

Ignoring her comment, he said, "Potter will always need you. Things are going to get worse before they get better but I will come for you as soon as feasibly possible - Dolohov, too, seeing as we need him to keep you alive. You must keep fighting, no matter how awful things get. Use your shields as a coping mechanism, just like you did earlier."

Hermione nodded, feeling a little column of strength rising within her amidst the terror of what she was soon to face. "But please try your hardest to stop any of them from doing anything reckless - lie, curse, whatever you have to do. Don't let anyone throw their life away for me."

Snape inclined his head. "I will do my best. Now, we don't have much time - I was only given an hour to bring you. I can't modify your memory or obscure large amounts of information in your mind because otherwise the Dark Lord will know that I have interfered before bringing you to him. It is inevitable that you will divulge some information or secrets about the Order, even if you are able to hide more from him like you did before. You will have to accept that, there is nothing we can do to stop it. But is there anything small yet important that can be hidden? Something that can protect either you, myself or Potter if you're interrogated by the Dark Lord? Anything you might have discussed with Dolohov?"

Hermione thought rapidly. She still found it difficult to believe that she had managed to trick Voldemort - but everything was very hard to believe at the moment. It would be difficult to maintain the mental strength to mislead Voldemort for an extended period of time, especially if she were physically and mentally abused, which was likely. Her parents were safe - she could lie about where she'd sent them. She didn't know what Harry was doing with Dumbledore. Grimmauld Place was no longer used as the headquarters. Most of the Order members she knew had already been witnessed in the Department of Mysteries last year…

"The prophecy. Harry told me what it said," Hermione admitted fearfully. Voldemort had spent almost a whole year trying to find out its contents.

"You can alter that memory," he told her confidently, "show that Potter refused to tell you."

"OK…" She turned her thoughts inwards again, focusing on her time with Antonin. Yes, there was something he absolutely would want to know. "The Order member who was speaking to me, guiding me, teaching me Occlumency. Antonin will be desperate to know. He hates them - well, you - and it wouldn't surprise me if he resorted to a mental attack given that I have always…" She could feel her face heating up. "Well, almost always, refused to tell him."

Snape showed no reaction at the indirect reference to the mess she had created when she had unknowingly given up Snape's name. "Can you not mislead him about the identity?"

Hermione frowned. "If that's the only thing he's looking for in my mind, I don't think I would be quick enough to alter the volume of memories."

Snape was also frowning. "A memory modification would be too suspicious. The Dark Lord will expect you to initially think I am on your side. He doesn't want you to know that I have 'betrayed' you. Blocking out a year's worth of private interactions could go very wrong."

"What about the Fidelius charm?" she asked. "I don't think protecting that specific Order identity would raise too many suspicions. If you are the keeper of the secret, I can't tell Antonin or anyone who helped me even if you share the secret with me, but I'll still remember you and everything we've learned together."

Snape considered it. "That might work. The wording of the secret will be important though."

"If you'll forgive the language, Professor - he always called you the 'Order bastard'. So if we made the secret - 'The identity of the Order bastard who taught Hermione Granger Occlumency is Severus Snape,' I think that would work."

"Very well."

Hermione watched as Snape waved his wand in a complicated pattern, creating a series of golden threads that wove between each other, getting brighter and brighter until she had to shut her eyes to protect them from the blinding light.

"The identity of the Order bastard who taught Hermione Granger Occlumency is Severus Snape," a voice said. She blinked the glare away from her vision until she could see him clearly again. "We will have to hope that I have cast it correctly. The charm seemed to proceed as expected but we won't know for sure unless you are questioned. Now, is there anything else that you don't think you can hide in your memories?"

Hermione quickly searched her mind once more for anything both important and small enough for them to conceal, but she shook her head. "No. I think that's it."

Snape gave her a brisk nod. "Then it is time. You will have to conceal this conversation, just like all the others we've shared this year."

A strange feeling of unreality swept over her as her terrible future rapidly approached. "I understand."

"I will stun you from behind, as I would have done if this attack were real."

Hermione nodded. She had to work hard to keep her voice calm when she said, "You will need to cast the spell twice."

A brief look of surprised confusion passed over his face. "Why?"

She briefly considered not telling him. Antonin had wanted her to keep it a secret so that her enemies would remain unaware and she'd have the advantage of surprise. That hardly mattered anymore, particularly when it came to Snape - he certainly knew how to keep a secret. She held up her wrist. "Antonin crafted a new protection spell and I cast it onto this bracelet. It has the capacity to block a single offensive spell. If Antonin asks about my capture, he'll expect to hear your surprise and confusion that your first spell didn't take."

He considered her words then said, "I wouldn't normally admit to a potential blunder in front of him. But if he brings it up, I will act accordingly." He eyed the bracelet once more. "Dolohov wanted to give you a chance to escape from your allies, should they have turned on you?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"That is an encouraging sign of his attachment to you." One of his hands returned to her arm - not to prevent her from falling, but as a gesture of support. "Don't give up. You are strong enough to make it through this. I have faith in you."

Hermione wanted to collapse into a heap and sob.

She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to wake up a captive of Voldemort, didn't want to endure the pain and suffering that were surely heading her way, didn't want to give up everyone she cared about with little chance of seeing them again, didn't want to be used to hurt and betray them. But if she didn't do this, she would die and Snape would be hunted down and killed too.

She couldn't cry - the remains of her tears might be noticed…

With a great effort, she forced herself to turn her back on Snape, feeling his hand drop from her arm. She clutched her wand tightly in her hand, probably for the last time, and tried not to shake as she waited to hear him say the incantations. A red glow lit up the path and trees without her hearing a word and, as the bracelet blocked the spell, she realised that he had cast it non-verbally. That was her last thought before everything went black.


A/N Poor Hermione! I'm only going to make you wait one week for the next chapter.