Valentine's Day
Brittany blamed Taylor Swift for all of this.
It was as if the moment Santana sang that TSwift ballad and then immediately broke up with her the universe was thrown off its axis. If you asked Brittany, nothing had felt right ever since.
Brittany could admit she kind of lost her mind for a few weeks after the break up. It wasn't pretty.
For the first time she had to pick herself up and learn how to stand on her own two feet, without Santana at her side. It was a slow start but she found a way to manage. She got her grades up and out of boredom she even started dating Sam. He was nice but he was well, he was Sam.
Sam was easy and uncomplicated and in a very weird way it was almost comforting. After all, he had dated Santana once too. It wasn't a big deal if she happened to mention her ex girlfriend while out on a date, Sam would just nod along like a sweet golden retriever. But Brittany could always tell something was lost on him when she found herself talking about certain things. Like how one of Santana's dimples was somehow cuter than the other. Or how Santana hid the fact that she had been a Pokemon fan as a kid (Squirtle was her dude.) Or how Santana snored the most adorable snores, like, ever. Brittany found that while Sam had technically dated Santana, he had never really known her. Least of all, all the parts she tried to hide or the things she never even knew about herself.
Sam was nice but he was still just Sam. A safe placeholder who could make her laugh sometimes when it hurt to think about what Santana might be doing in New York or who she might be with or if she ever wondered about Brittany.
When Mr. Schue's wedding rolled around a huge part of Brittany was relieved to see Santana showed up with Quinn at her side. Quinn was Quinn and Quinn had never been competition for Brittany. While Santana had always reserved a special softness for Brittany, it was like she had reserved a special bitchiness for Quinn. Brittany had been witness to Quinn and Santana's strange prickly relationship for years. They were bitter rivals but also besties for life. They'd stab each other in the back if given the chance but would punch the crap out of anyone who dared to trash talk the other.
Brittany was never in fear of being replaced by Quinn. The idea was laughable, absurd. And while Brittany kinda held the belief that everyone was just a little bit gay, the fact was that one time junior year when Quinn thought Santana was asking her to have a threesome with her and Brittany, Quinn said she was flattered but "not that into that."
Right?
It totally wasn't a big deal that Quinn and Santana sat together at the disaster wedding. And it totally wasn't a big deal when they hung out at the hotel reception after, nope. It totally wasn't a big deal when Brittany saw them giggling and sneaking drinks with each other using their fake IDs at the open bar. And it was totally fine when Quinn played with the dangling necklace Santana wore all confident and familiar like. Also? It didn't bother her at all when she saw them on the dance floor together where Quinn's hands found themselves around Santana's neck.
All of that? Cool cool cool.
"Are you okay, Britt? Your right eye is twitching," Sam said, looking slightly concerned that she might be having a stroke or something.
Brittany shook her head clear of Santana related thoughts as she stared at her from across the room. "I'm…fine."
As if sensing she was holding back Sam nodded to a nearby table. "Wanna go sit for a bit?"
And that's what they did. They found a table at the reception with their friends and had some of those mini cupcakes that were floating around. They were having a good time just talking and hanging out but everything shifted as a wild rumor began to spread throughout the table. Because apparently someone told Puck who had told Mercedes who had told Kurt who had told Tina who told Brittany…Quinn and Santana had just snuck off to go hook up.
Everyone at the table laughed at the idea of it and maybe Brittany would have too, that is if she didn't get a weird twisty feeling in her gut.
And that's when she heard it. The wedding playlist started a new song and everything hit her all at once. Stupid Taylor Swift and her stupid sweeping lyricism about love and longing.
'...and it was enchanting to meet you, all I can say is I was enchanted to meet you…'
Without even realizing it and before she knew it, Brittany felt her eyes brimming with unshed tears. Because she knew at that very moment all of those big earth shattering emotions Taylor was singing about in that song, she could never feel them for Sam. Had never felt them for him.
As the song played all she saw was a series of memories, of a first meeting at cheer camp, of late night embraces against trees under the moonlight that very first summer, of pinky links and dancing on beds and date nights and falling asleep wearing a jacket that had Captain Lopez embroidered over the heart. Of every promise and every kiss Santana had ever given her.
What she had with Santana wasn't just a relationship, it was soul defining.
She said nothing as she slipped away from the table then. She wasn't sure what she was going to do or even say but her feet carried her to Santana's room before she even realized she was moving. She hesitated for only a second before knocking. For a moment, there was silence. Then the door cracked open and there stood Santana Lopez, the girl Brittany had spent years chasing and being chased by.
The only person in the world Brittany thought of when she heard a Taylor Swift love song.
Santana's eyes widened in surprise and something about that made Brittany's heart clench. And that heart clench turned into a full blown choke hold when she saw the movement behind Santana.
There she was sitting up in bed and covered by a comforter. Quinn freaking Fabray.
No one said anything then because they didn't have to. Quinn's stupid sexy sex hair said it all. And so did the flash of guilt that washed over Santana's face. The ridiculous rumor that everyone was talking about at the reception was…strangely, tragically true.
"You and-" Brittany's voice cracked. "Quinn?"
"Britt," Santana started, but Brittany was already turning.
She started down the hallway. She didn't want to hear it, and she didn't want to see it. And also? She was pretty sure she was about to vomit and wanted to spare herself the humiliation.
"Brittany, wait!" Santana's voice rang behind her, followed by the quick sound of footsteps as she gave chase.
But Brittany didn't stop. Not until she reached the end of the hall where she had nowhere else to go. She turned abruptly and prayed she wouldn't sob at the sight of her. Santana, in a short robe, skidded to a halt, chest heaving, eyes pleading.
"Brittany, listen…"
"Why?" Brittany asked as tears fell. "Why Quinn? That's gross. Disgusting. An abomination. Totally Un-American, in fact. Do you hate America? Is that why you slept with Quinn?''
''Okay let's calm down with that, alright?'' Santana held up a hand.
''Calm? How am I supposed to be calm after you slept with Quinn?''
''Can we like pause for a minute here? Who I spend my time with is none of your business anymore.''
Brittany let out a disbelieving laugh. "None of my business?"
"Brittany, we broke up."
"Yeah and for the record we didn't break up because I wanted to. We broke up because you did."
"No, we broke up because I was hurting you. The distance was hurting you. Hurting us."
"Well I'm so glad Quinn could be there for you in your time of need," Brittany said bitterly.
"This isn't about Q, not really," Santana said. "If it hadn't been her it would've been some random bridesmaid."
"And that's supposed to make me feel better? Do you even hear yourself? Santana, my whole life has revolved around you since the second I laid eyes on you sophomore year and yeah, we broke up, but that doesn't mean I stopped loving you."
Santana flinched briefly before allowing her features to soften in a way they only did for Brittany. "I know. I know. Britt. Listen to me alright…I still meant what I said. I will always love you the most.''
''Then why did you sleep with her?''
''I was bored and lonely and maybe a little bit sad at a wedding and maybe…maybe I wanted to distract myself from having to watch you dance the night away with your boyfriend.''
Brittany shook her head. Santana had to know that Sam was only a placeholder. Just a way to kill time. ''Sam and I…deep down you have to know that he's not anything.''
Santana nodded. ''I do. I know I made a giant spectacle when I first found out but I get that now which is why you have to trust me when I say to you that Quinn, she's not anything either. Okay? But that doesn't really change the fact that me and you keep hurting each other. We're doing exactly what I was trying to prevent when I said we needed to go on a break. I never wanted to hurt you.''
''I never wanted to hurt you either.''
''Right now I think we both need to face the fact that real life isn't a movie, or even a Taylor Swift song. I wish it was more than anything, Brittany. I do. But I can't keep doing this. Going in circles. It hurts too damn much."
''Maybe that's the difference between us," Brittany sniffled. ''When it comes to you I'd do all of this again and again and again if it meant we would be together."
A tear slipped down Santana's cheek before she could stop it and Brittany reached up, just for a second, to brush it away. But then she caught herself and pulled back. Brittany knew if she kept going, if she kept touching and comforting Santana she'd want more. Of this. Of them.
She started to turn but Santana caught her wrist. Gently, silently, pleading. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. And with nothing keeping her there Brittany left Santana standing alone and shattered.
Brittany didn't bother going back to the reception. She walked out into the parking lot and got into her car and immediately let herself fall apart. Her tears came rushing out hard and fast and hot against her skin. She didn't fight them, either, she just let herself feel everything.
Maybe it was rude or whatever but there was no way she was walking back into the hotel. She'd text Sam later and make up some excuse. He could hitch a ride home with someone. She just wanted to get as far away from this place as fast as she could. She put the key in the ignition to start the car and the second she did-
'This night is sparkling
Don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck
Blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever
Wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you'
Brittany yanked her hands away from the steering wheel as if she were electrocuted. Of course it had to be this song that was on the radio when it turned on.
Freaking Taylor Swift.
Furious and heartbroken, her vision blurry with tears, Brittany slapped the middle media console, hitting random buttons indiscriminately over and over and over again, way harder than was necessary until all she heard was loud, consuming static on the radio.
And then, the planet shifted on its axis again.
X
Valentine's Day (Loop Two)
Brittany's eyes snapped open.
Except she wasn't in her car anymore. She was somehow back in the middle of the wedding reception as everyone laughed and danced around her.
The last thing she remembered was having a teary meltdown and ruining her makeup as she sat in the car and cursed Taylor Swift's majestic songwriting skills. But now… she was back. At the hotel.
She glanced down at herself, same dress, same shoes, same everything. She caught her reflection in something. There were no red swollen eyes, no runny makeup, absolutely no signs whatsoever that just moments ago her heart had been completely broken when she found Quinn in Santana's hotel room.
Was she dreaming? Had she hit her head?
But no, everything felt too real. The air was warm with the scent of roses and champagne. Mercedes was giggling at something Sam said. Artie was struggling to pop a champagne bottle. And off in the corner there they were. Santana and Quinn, pulling fake IDs out of their boobs to show the bartender and score their first drinks of the night.
It was as if time had rewound itself.
Could it be?
It had to be a sign. There was no other explanation.
This was a second chance to relive this disaster Valentine's Day over again. But now? Now she knew what was going to happen which in turn meant she had a chance to stop it. All she had to do was change a few things and find a way to make Santana remember what it was like to be in love with her. Most importantly, she had to make sure whatever happened didn't result in Santana falling into bed with Quinn again.
The universe or maybe Taylor Swift was giving her another shot to fix things. To put her and Santana back together again and set the planet back on its axis.
First thing was first Brittany decided. She knew it wasn't nice or polite or whatever but the universe had rewound time for her, she couldn't fudge it up.
She found Sam dancing around with Marley and Tina and pulled him away. Brittany gave him a sad, apologetic smile as she broke the news.
"I'm breaking up with you," she said, wanting to be clear and firm.
"Wait, what?"
"I'm sorry," Brittany exhaled. "A wedding reception on Valentine's Day is probably the absolute worst place and time to do this but I had to tell you the truth. You deserve that. One day you're going to make some woman very happy with your giant pillowy lips.''
Sam looked like he was malfunctioning. ''I thought everything was fine. I mean, did I do something or-''
Brittany didn't give him anymore time to question things. She just gave him a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the shoulder and a gentle push back onto the dance floor. Sam was swallowed by the swaying crowd and Brittany turned her attention to the bar. Santana and Quinn were still planted in front of it chatting and laughing and oh, Quinn just put her hand on Santana's shoulder. Things hadn't escalated yet but Brittany knew she had to get in there soon.
But how?
Brittany didn't have a lot of time to think things through. In a crunch she couldn't come up with anything that was calculated or complex. Instead she just waited five minutes until Quinn went to use the restroom, followed her out and shoved her into a janitor's closet. She was sure to jam a chair against the doorknob so she couldn't get out. Wah-la. She dusted her hands off and made her way back to the reception, back to the bar and back to Santana.
''Buy me a drink,'' Brittany said in greeting as she came to stand at Santana's side.
Santana, who had been waiting for Quinn to return, looked over and gave Brittany a hesitant smile. ''It's an open bar.''
''Right. It is…'' Brittany paused briefly and took a breath. Think, Brittany, think. ''But I don't have a fake ID like you.''
Santana, fully given up on looking out for Quinn, turned her body towards Brittany. Her voice was soft and almost playful. ''And risk corrupting you?''
''Well, let's be real here, you did that a long time ago.''
Santana grinned. ''That may be but I'm pretty sure your boyfriend wouldn't approve of me doing that anymore. Even if it was just with adult beverages.''
''Then it's a good thing he's not my boyfriend anymore.''
Santana had been mid-sip when Brittany made that comment and she watched as Santana held the liquid in her mouth for a few seconds longer as she seemed to process this new information.
''He's not?''
Brittany shook her head.
Santana swallowed audibly. ''I'm, uh, sorry to hear that.''
''Yeah?''
Just then Santana's cell phone went off, vibrating within her bra. She held up a finger to Brittany as if to pause their conversation while she fished it out and answered whoever was on the other end.
''Hold up, say that again,'' Santana said into her phone. ''Someone pushed you into a janitor's closet and you can't open the door? …Where?...Yeah, I'll be right there.'' She ended the call and turned back to Brittany. ''Ah, sorry, I gotta go help Quinn. Some weirdo thought they were being funny and locked her in a closet in the hotel foyer. She's stuck and I have to go rescue her. You don't mind, do you?''
Brittany couldn't think of an excuse or reason to keep her that wouldn't somehow give away the fact that she was the weirdo who put Quinn in there.
''I really am sorry about you and Sam though,'' Santana said. ''No matter what I know it probably wasn't fun. If you ever need to talk about anything, you know I'm always-'' whatever Santana was about to say was interrupted by her phone ringing yet again. With a slightly annoyed look she answered it. ''What? I said I was coming, jeez, give me a freaking minute, Q.'' This time when Santana ended the call she put her phone back in her boobs. ''I'm so sorry, Quinn is freaking out. I think she's about to pee into a mop bucket or something. I gotta get her out of the closet, like now-now.''
And with that Santana went to get Quinn out of the closet, in probably more ways than one if you thought about it.
Brittany didn't see either of them for the rest of the night which pretty much gave her reason to believe Santana's hotel room was their eventual destination.
And later as Brittany sat, nursing someone's discarded champagne flute, she downed her fifth mini cupcake and that's when she heard it.
'This night is sparkling
Don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck
Blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever
Wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you'
With a mouthful of frosting all Brittany could say was ''oh shit'' before she was thrown back yet again.
X
Valentine's Day (Loop Three)
So the thing about being stuck in a time loop was no one gave you an instruction manual. And even if there had been such a thing Brittany doubted there would be a chapter about how to win back the love of your life while simultaneously stopping said love from sleeping with your mutual friend.
She was pretty sure Taylor Swift didn't have any songs relevant to her situation either. So. Brittany was on her own.
The next time around she tried a slightly different route. She made a pit stop in order to break up with Sam like she had before but instead of stuffing Quinn in a closet Brittany got some punch and a tiny plate full of mini cupcakes and made her way to the dance floor. That's where she found Tina who was confused when Brittany pushed the items into her hands just as Quinn and Santana danced past them.
"I'm sorry about this Tina," Brittany apologized then as she shoved Tina into Quinn's side causing Tina to spill the punch on her and cover half of her dress in frosting.
The whole thing took all of five seconds to orchestrate. Tina had barely even registered what happened before she had inadvertently dumped the food and drink all over Quinn's red dress.
"What the heck, Tina," Quinn began as she looked down at her ruined outfit.
Tina just stumbled over words. "I didn't-that wasn't-I don't even know how-"
Brittany's idea had been simple. Ruin Quinn's dress to the point where she had to leave the entire reception. Smoothly slide in and take her place as Santana's dance partner. Flirt, charm, drop hints that she was newly single and that she thought breaking up with Santana may have caused a rip in the space time continuum and only their once in a lifetime love had the power to save the universe as they knew it.
But did that happen?
No.
Instead Santana tried to help Quinn wipe herself off and when it was clear there was no salvaging the dress, she told Quinn they could go up to Santana's hotel room. To borrow a dress to change into, she had said, but it was clear where this was going. Especially as Quinn took Santana's hand and they left the reception hall together.
Brittany stood and watched, but weirdly, she didn't feel defeated. Maybe winning Santana back and stopping the Quinntana of it all wasn't going to be as easy as she thought but no way was she about to throw in the towel.
She was going to win Santana back if it was the last thing she did.
Standing in the middle of the dance floor Brittany looked skywards.
"Okay, universe, I get it. You want me to work for it. Bring it on."
And then just on time as it had the previous two Valentine's Days the song that seemed to be the trigger for the loop began to play…
'I'll spend forever
Wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you'
X
For about the first fifteen or so time loops in which she had to relive the same Valentine's Day, Brittany was able to keep her chill.
Mostly.
She knew there was nothing her and Santana's love couldn't overcome. Surely she thought solving a space-time loop would be entirely doable. It was just about finding that one tiny thing that would turn things back into her favor. It was about making Santana remember that the world only spun when they were together. And Brittany was nothing if not creative.
Loop Five: she pulled a fire alarm, which activated the hotel sprinklers which soaked everyone in the reception hall, including Quinn who slipped on a soggy cupcake and went splat on her back. Unfortunately Santana had been witness to it and ran back to help her up. Later when the sprinklers were turned off Quinn commented something about never being so 'soaking wet' before, to which Santana made some comment about how most women who hang out with her don't have that problem. Loop five Quinn seemed to find that funny, funny enough that she walked back to Santana's room to ''dry off.'' Neither of them came back.
Cue Taylor Swift.
Loop Seven: she challenged Quinn to a dance off in order to wipe the floor with her while simultaneously impressing Santana. She was actually successful in accomplishing this, that is until Quinn ended one of her big moves by doing the splits in a dress which Santana seemed to take great interest in. And well, you know the rest.
Cue Taylor Swift.
Loop Twelve: Brittany thought she'd try something simple this go around. She found Santana and invited her out into the hotel courtyard, under the night sky, surrounded by twinkling lights. It was there Brittany laid her heart out, about everything she loved, about everything she wanted. Santana seemed to be receptive for the most part but inevitably in the middle of their heart to heart she started crying. In tears Santana ran away from Brittany who gave chase only to bump into Quinn in the hotel hallway. ''Don't worry, Britt, I'll go talk to her for you,'' Quinn said, all innocent like before she disappeared into Santana's room. Never to be heard from the rest of the evening.
Cue Taylor Swift.
After two weeks of reliving the same night again and again, Brittany's patience began to fray. She tried everything to stop it but it didn't matter. One way or another, Santana and Quinn always ended up in that hotel room together.
She started to feel a little more concerned and well, her tactics started to become a little more left of center.
Like the time she hired Patches to clean himself up for the night and approach Santana, claiming to be Quinn's ex, the college professor, who was there to win her back. Or the time she pushed Quinn into the koi pond in the foyer (to be honest though that one was mostly for fun.) Or the time she used her own vehicle to t-bone Quinn's car in the parking lot and made Quinn spend the entire evening on the phone with her insurance company.
Or say, the time she called Lord Tubbington and his fellow gang members in, in the hopes of intimidating her. LT got one good scratch at Quinn before Santana stepped in to take Quinn's hand and gently run her thumb soothingly over the very minor scratch that if you ask Brittany didn't draw nearly enough blood.
And then there was that time where she was extra desperate and couldn't come up with another plan on the fly so she decided to fake a pregnancy scare.
"Santana, I'm pregnant with your baby!" Brittany dramatically declared as she ran up and cut in while Santana and Quinn were on the dance floor together.
"Uhhhhhh what?" Santana asked. "How would that even be possible?"
"I dunno. Science?" Brittany half heartedly shrugged.
"Plus we haven't, ya know, in I don't know how long."
"Exactly, which is why this baby would be a double miracle." Brittany touched her non-existent belly.
Beside them Quinn sighed. "Brittany, are you high?"
"Wow, Quinn," Brittany narrowed her eyes at her. "I would never endanger Santana's child like that. How dare you."
Needless to say no one bought the fake pregnancy line.
Cue Taylor Swift.
No matter what Brittany did, whether she serenaded Santana with a heartfelt song, slipped a mild laxative into Quinn's dessert, or even kissed Quinn herself, Santana always ended up sleeping with Quinn.
And Brittany? Brittany was stuck in an eternal nightmare of heartbreak, a time loop from hell where she had to watch it happen again, and again, and again. Santana and Quinn. Santana and Quinn.
And every time Brittany heard Taylor Swift's voice ring out through the sound system, she was yanked back only to start the night once more.
X
Valentine's Day (Loop Forty-Seven)
Brittany was getting real freaking close to just getting a knife. Not to hurt anyone. Just to dramatically slice a wedding cake in half. She was clearly in her unhinged era.
Here she was yet again, over a month in with nothing to show for it. She was tired and beyond frustrated.
And when Brittany saw Santana and Quinn sitting at a table, laughing like nothing had ever happened, like she didn't exist, something inside her just…cracked. Brittany couldn't stop herself, she found herself marching towards them and then, her hand flew out.
Slap.
Quinn's head snapped to the side and the people around them fell into stunned silence. Brittany barely registered the horrified look on Santana's face before the weight of what she'd done came crashing down.
"I think I might be losing it," Brittany whispered.
"Yeah, you think?" Quinn snapped. ''Why did you just hit me?!''
Brittany had no good answer to give her. The fact was Quinn, specifically this Quinn hadn't done anything, yet anyway. This Quinn hadn't touched Santana yet. Brittany was just reacting in frustration to the actions of every Quinn from every loop that came before. She couldn't exactly explain that though without sounding totally insane.
Thankfully Santana pulled Brittany aside before the entire situation escalated.
"Come with me," Santana said gently, guiding her toward the bar and away from the disaster zone where Quinn was suddenly flanked by Mercedes and Tina who were both inspecting her cheek to see how bad it was.
Brittany sighed, taking a seat at the counter. Santana slid into the seat next to her, ordering a whiskey. Brittany, frazzled, ordered a milkshake.
"You okay?" Santana asked after a few moments of silence.
''Absolutely not,'' Brittany said bitterly as she drank her shake through a crazy straw.
''What the hell was that about? I mean physical violence is usually my thing. You're always the one opposed to it. Why'd you hit Quinn back there?''
''You wouldn't understand.''
''Try me.''
Brittany squeezed her eyes shut. How in the world could she ever begin to explain what was happening to her.
"Talk to me," Santana demanded, voice firm but laced with concern. "What the hell is going on with you? Because this…isn't you. I know you, inside and out. You'd never do something like that unless something pushed you to snap."
Brittany couldn't hold it in anymore. She was defeated. What other choice did she have? She tried just about everything else. Why not just tell Santana the truth?
"You're right. I have snapped. I've been pushed to the absolute edge of sanity."
"Okay and why is that? What on earth would make you hit one of our best friends in the face?"
"You have sex with her."
"What? Quinn? I've never slept with Quinn!" Santana appeared to be both confused and amused by this idea.
"But you do, or you will. It's still early in the evening. But tonight you're going to ask her to go back to your room with you and she'll go and then you'll…you'll…"
It pained Brittany to even put into words. To even think about.
"And you know this how exactly?" Santana asked.
Brittany could only answer with a kind of sad resignation. "I've been stuck in a time loop living the same day for the past month, Santana.''
''Huh?''
''This wedding reception?'' Brittany pointed a finger around the hall. ''I've been living this same day over and over again. Everyone is always wearing the same clothes, dancing to the same songs, and no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, you always end up in bed with Quinn. I've tried everything. I've locked her in rooms, I've serenaded you, I sent Lord Tubbington to beat her up, I've even, I don't know, spiritually willed you to make a different choice. And still, you end up with her. On top of all of that I've really started to hate Taylor Swift music."
Santana was silent for a long seemed puzzled by that but didn't push. Instead she just quietly asked, ''is this about Sam?''
Brittany laughed. The funny thing was for the past month or so she pretty much forgot all about Sam. Sure, every time she restarted the loop she made the point of telling him to his face that it was over between them because it was the right thing to do, even if she knew the loop would likely throw all of them back in time anyway. But over time it had just become a very minor task to complete before she would then focus on her main mission of steering Santana away from Quinn.
It was actually pretty hilarious that Santana would even assume Brittany's outburst had something to do with him. Then again, in Brittany's mind she and Sam had been over for several weeks and in Santana's reality she and Sam had just broken up within the past hour.
"I heard you broke up with him earlier tonight," Santana whispered. "I don't know if this whole living the same day over and over again hallucination thing is a result of you being stressed or sad or-"
"I'm not though," Brittany said with ease. "Sad, I mean. At least not about Sam. This isn't about him. This is about you. I've been reliving this stupid, awful day over and over again because of you."
Santana reached over to place a hand on top of Brittany's. She gave it a gentle squeeze. Santana always had this way about her, of understanding the way Brittany's brain worked. And on the rare occasions when even she couldn't decipher what was going on she would always at least talk to her in that sweet, calming way that made Brittanys's heart swell.
"First off, me and Quinn?'' Santana began. "In what bizarro universe would that ever happen. Second of all, I'm still a little bit confused about what's going on but, Britt, it's okay if all of this romantic Valentine's day crap has made you feel…I don't know…sad or confused or hurt. About us. I'd be lying if I said it hasn't made me sad too."
"Yeah?"
"Of course I've been sad. This whole day, all I could think about was how just a year ago today everything felt…perfect. For once in this miserable stinking world."
A year ago today they were in Breadstix, dancing as their friends serenaded them at the behest of Santana. It was so cheesy, so teenage, so silly and also, the single sweetest most romantic thing anyone had ever done for Brittany. Slow dancing in the spotlight in front of everyone they knew.
And now that moment seemed so far away as she glanced back at Santana who was staring at her through her dark lashes.
Brittany swallowed. This was different. Santana had never given her this intense and passionate stare in any of the previous loops.
"Brittany, I-"
Ahem.
Their moment was interrupted when Quinn came to stand nearby and cleared her throat to make herself known. ''Santana, do you think you could do me a favor and ask the bartender if he can give me a pack of ice? I think my cheek is swelling up." Quinn approached them and held a hand to the side of her face.
Both Brittany and Santana turned and caught a glimpse of her. Yeah that was definitely going to leave a bruise. It was just a slap but Quinn's cheek was bright red and the corresponding eye had already gone all squinty like.
Brittany really hadn't meant to go that hard.
"Quinn, I'm-'' Brittany started but was halted when her friend held up her palm.
"Don't. You can apologize or explain or whatever later,'' Quinn said with a wince. ''Right now my face is too swollen and hot to think.''
"Right,'' Brittany said. ''Sorry.''
Still unsure of what the cause of this dust up was but somehow looking like she knew she was somehow in the middle of all of this Santana stood up and placed a hand on Quinn's arm, steadying her.
''Q, how about I uh, walk you to your room?'' Santana offered. ''I'll get you some ice and help you get settled in huh?"
''Actually yeah,'' Quinn exhaled. ''I think I'm ready to call it a night. That is unless Brittany feels like drop-kicking me out of nowhere just for the hell of it.''
Brittany gave her a sad apologetic smile. ''Even if I wanted to I don't think I could do a drop-kick in this dress.''
Brittany made the mental note. If she ever got out of this time loop she'd find a way to apologize properly to Quinn. Because yes as satisfying as the slap was in the heat of the moment, physical violence really wasn't Brittany's thing. Seeing her friend's reddened cheek didn't make her feel any better about her predicament.
Then before she knew it Santana was walking away with an arm around Quinn.
And there it was.
Brittany fought the urge to cry right then and there.
For a second she almost thought something somewhere had shifted. Like maybe she was making some kind of headway with Santana during their conversation. For the briefest of moments she had even thought she'd gotten through but as she sat there, sullen and defeated, she could only watch them go. She had failed again. She had failed herself, she had failed Santana and she had failed their love.
She turned back to the bartender. ''Hit me with another milkshake barkeep.''
The bartender raised an eyebrow. ''I think you've had enough.''
''I'll tell you when I've had enough,'' she said like a drinker who didn't know when she was at her limit.
X
Brittany estimated she still had a little bit of time left in the evening before the loop threw her back again and she decided to head outside into the empty hotel courtyard for some fresh air.
She wanted a few moments to collect herself before she had to do it all over again. And so, she stood under the night sky and the hotel's string lights, wondering.
How many more nights was she going to have to relive this? Was she doomed to forever live in this painful limbo?
''It's pretty out here.''
Brittany felt her heart jump into her throat and turned around to see Santana step outside into the courtyard to join her.
''I thought you were going upstairs, with Quinn,'' Brittany said in shock.
''I did. I made sure she got up to her bed and got her some ice for her face and now I'm here.''
''Why?''
Santana walked the few steps necessary to stand in front of Brittany. ''I don't know. I was worried.''
''Worried?''
''You just seem not yourself. I wanted to make sure you were okay.''
Brittany smiled. ''I'm getting there. I had to get some fresh air though. It was getting too loud and crowded in there. Too many rhythmless people dancing feels offensive to my eyes.''
''I get that.''
''You looked like you were having fun dancing with Quinn earlier.''
Santana bobbed her head around in thought. ''She's not a bad dancer. She's no Brittany S. Pierce though.''
''Who is?''
''If I would have known you'd broken up with Sam earlier I would have asked you to dance.''
Brittany bit the inside of her bottom lip and looked up into the night. The sound was slightly muffled but the music from inside the reception hall could still be heard out in the courtyard.
''There's nothing stopping you now,'' Brittany said.
Without a word Santana held out her hand. Brittany knew she had exactly one song. One song before Enchanted came on and before she had to start all over again. Why not dance? She took Santana's hand and allowed herself to be pulled into a slow sway. They moved along to some old jazzy instrumental that made Brittany feel like she was the heroine in some black and white romance movie and Santana was some dark, mysterious stranger who came on the scene and swept her off her feet.
Except…
Santana was a little awkward at the start because Brittany usually led when they slow danced together. She smiled watching Santana adorably struggle to find her footing.
''Don't laugh at me.''
''I'm not laughing at you,'' Brittany said, snickering. ''You're just…so cute.''
Now with something to prove Santana twirled Brittany out of her arms then and smoothly twirled her back, bringing them face to face. ''Cute huh?''
''Definitely cute. But also sweet. Charming. Romantic. Enchanting.''
Brittany made the point to not call Santana sexy or hot. For one Santana didn't need to be told that, she already knew she was. And for two, it wasn't why Brittany fell in love with her. There were many layers to one Santana Lopez and her beauty was only one of them but it was far from the most profound thing about her.
Santana chuckled at that. ''Enchanting huh? No one's ever called me that.''
Brittany let her hands slide up and around Santana's neck. ''Yeah well, no one looks at you the way that I do.''
Santana continued to slowly move Brittany across the courtyard, in her arms. In that second Brittany remembered exactly why was doing this and why she'd go through the motions of living this day over and over again even if it ended in her own heartbreak every single time. Because this moment here in Santana's embrace was what she lived for. Yes their physical chemistry has always been all fire and heat but this love, their love, was also the most real, most beautiful, quietly captivating thing Brittany has ever known.
Brittany felt the clock ticking though. She knew it was coming any moment now. The beginning of the neverending end. The loop was about to begin again. She felt her eyes brimming with tears by the time the song came to a slow fade and Santana unwrapped her arms from around Brittany.
''Hey…hey,'' Santana started softly when she noticed Brittany on the brink. ''Why are you crying?''
"I need to know," Brittany said. "And you can tell me no matter what the answer is. Do you still love me?"
Thrown by her question Santana blinked unevenly, one eyelid shutting just a millisecond before the other. "How is that even a question to you?"
"I don't know. I mean I thought I knew before but like, time loops are disorienting."
Santana inhaled deeply and smiled. "You think, what, I just go around cry-singing Taylor Swift songs to everyone or something? No. There's no question. What I feel about you is more than I can even stand. More than…" she shook her head as if at a loss for how to describe the depths of her feelings. Like there were no words to encompass everything inside of her. "I love you, Brittany. I love you with a love that's more than love. Nothing will ever change that. Not other people or distance or time."
Time, Brittany now knew, was a funny thing.
Brittany stood in stunned silence. And then, then she heard the quiet strumming of an acoustic guitar playing in the background-
'There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place'
''Listen,'' Brittany said quickly, desperately, trying to get all of her words out before the song ended and she ran out of time again. ''This is important, okay?''
Santana looked a little concerned at Brittany's urgency. ''Okay.''
''No matter what happens I need you to know this: I love you and I love you and I love you. I told you once that I'd do this over and over again if it meant we would be together but now I know, know in my bones that I'd do this over and over again even if we never got to be together again. If I had to relive this day over and over and all I got out of it was a touch on my hand and an occasional slow dance in the courtyard, I'd do it. I'd spend the rest of my life trying to show you how much I love you.''
''Brittany-''
''You don't have to say anything,'' Brittany sniffled with a smile. Any second now she was going to be thrown back and she had found a kind of peace in that.
She had gotten Santana to hold her hand, to touch her, to dance with her in this loop. It might not have sounded like much to someone else, but it meant more than Brittany could ever begin to explain. Brittany wasn't sure what came next, it could be thirty more loops or thirty more years but she knew no matter what it would be worth it.
Santana would always be worth it.
All there was, was the truth of their love.
'And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you'
Brittany closed her eyes then, she knew she probably only had seconds.
Except the next thing she was aware of was the warm, pleasant press of Santana's lips against hers. Brittany shivered at the sensation as she felt both of Santana's hands come up to cup her cheeks. Carefully, delicately, tenderly.
'This night is sparkling
Don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck
Blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever
Wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you'
It was there in that kiss and slow embrace that all the planets shifted back to their original alignment and earth returned to its axis.
And for the first time since they broke up, all was right once again in the universe.
''I hope…that was okay,'' Santana said breathlessly as she pulled away. She looked hopeful but hesitant.
Brittany blinked rapidly. Was this real? Did she break the loop? Was it the end of the neverending Valentine's Day? Did Santana really just…kiss her?
''No, I mean yes, yes, that was more than okay,'' Brittany answered with a laugh.
Santana's eyes went big with relief. ''Yeah?''
''I feel like I've been waiting a lifetime for that kiss.''
Santana reached for both of Brittany's hands and held them, rubbing her thumbs across the backs of her palms. ''I know we're in a weird in between place with each other and you just broke up with someone earlier tonight and this is probably totally out of line but…would you want to come upstairs with me, to my room?''
Brittany wanted to scream with joy but played it calm. ''I'd love to.''
And just like that they started for the courtyard doors, they ran in heels back into the reception, down further through the hallway where they took an elevator and made the final giggly procession to Santana's hotel room door.
''We're not rushing into this, are we?'' Santana asked as she cautiously pushed the door shut with her back.
''Santana, we owe this to ourselves, the universe and Taylor Swift,'' Brittany said before rushing forward to tug Santana into a deep and passionate kiss.
Between Brittany's fervent kisses Santana could barely gasp. ''We can't let Taylor Swift down now, can we?''
X
February 15th
''So let me get this straight…'' Santana said as she chewed a piece of pancake.
It was the day after the never ending Valentine's Day and they had ordered room service and proceeded to eat in bed. They sat up covered in a couple of bedsheets as Brittany tried to explain her time looping adventure to Santana who couldn't quite grasp it.
Santana continued, rehashing the bits and pieces that made sort of sense to her. ''You were reliving the same day over and over again, Groundhog's Day style, because you, what, heard a T Swift song?''
Brittany speared a piece of fruit and ate it with whimsy. ''Well, I heard a T Swift song while having an emotional break down which somehow caused a rip in space and time.''
''And the emotional break down was brought on because I, or a version of me, got tipsy and slept with Quinn after the reception?''
''Bingo,'' Brittany said with a playful wink and a finger gun motion in Santana's direction. Like her entire universe hadn't just been turned upside down for over a month.
The truth was she was just so relieved to be in real time now. It was like she could breathe again. There was an ease and a lightness about Brittany that she couldn't contain. It was hard to be angry about being stuck in time when she had spent the night in Santana's bed, surrounded by her in every way possible.
She had finally beat the loop. She had finally got the girl.
''You don't believe me do you?'' Brittany asked.
''It's not that I don't believe you…it's just…a lot,'' Santana laughed. ''But as you've shown me time and time again, anything is possible. I guess that includes Taylor Swift-induced time loops. To be honest I don't care how it happened, I'm just glad we got to spend time together last night.''
Brittany decided to be brave. ''So last night…''
''Was amazing,'' Santana said bashfully.
''It was. I'm just wondering what…what it meant? And if it meant the same thing for you as it did for me?''
''What did it mean for you?''
''It meant…it meant I'll never stop fighting for us, even if I'm fighting space or time or the universe itself. Even if it's hard and even if it hurts, I want you forever.''
Santana smiled a watery smile. ''I want to be with you too, Britt. Always. If you want us to fight for us, then I'm in. I'm sorry about how all of that went down. I wanted to take back our break up from the moment it happened. I thought it would save us but it didn't.''
''I'm sorry too,'' Brittany said. ''If I ever made you feel like you weren't doing enough to be available. I was just sad but there was never a moment where I doubted your love.''
''You know I've been miserable without you every day since we broke up. It's like…like…I don't know…the world stopped spinning.''
''Maybe it did. So, where do we go from here and what does this mean?''
Without a word Santana discarded her breakfast aside and got on her knees to crawl over on top of Brittany who laid back so Santana could hover above her.
''It means if you still want to be, I want you to be mine.''
Brittany nodded, her eyes brimming with happy tears too. ''I am so yours.''
Their happy tears gave way to hearty laughter that made them and the entire bed vibrate. It just rolled through them, their relief and joy of being together again taking over them fully and completely until they could barely breathe. Their laughter lasted for a few moments before Santana quieted Brittany with a single soft kiss on her lips and then moved to place a few on Brittany's neck and chest for a while before she went further down, down, down, until she disappeared beneath the sheets.
Brittany stared up at the ceiling and grinned as Santana kissed her everywhere in worship.
The universe gave Brittany a second chance. Brittany didn't care about the how or the why of it all, as frustrating and exhausting as it had been to live the same day over and over she knew if given the choice she'd do it all again, a hundred times over, a million times over. When it came to Santana Lopez, Brittany would happily run in circles for the rest of her life.
Now that the world was spinning for them again Brittany somehow knew this time around they wouldn't make the same mistakes. Whatever came next they'd find a way forward together, side by side, hand in hand.
As Taylor Swift once said, they were going to make it now.
The End
X
X
X
I've had this 'I Do' episode time loop idea in my head for a couple of years now but it's only the past two or so months that I figured out a way to do it that felt interesting and unique. And that one element that really smoothed things out and made it all click together was the Taylor Swift of it all. I'm actually not a Swiftie myself. I like some of her songs but I'm not hardcore about it, however I've always thought that she was significant to Brittana as a ship. If Brittany was going to get stuck in a time loop during Season 4 era and one song had to be the trigger for it, why not a T Swift one, right? That just felt organic. This was really a love letter to any Brittana fans that are Swifties though.
This was a big swing for me story wise because time loop and time travel stories are just really tricky to write, and also I've never really written from Brittany's point of view to this degree. I understand Santana a lot more but I hope my dive into Brittany's mind felt natural and right. It would honestly mean the world to me if you, dear reader, could leave me a comment, here or on Tumblr, if you enjoyed the story. It helps motivate me.
Now as far as music notes, obviously I listened to Enchanted a million times during the writing of this, but I also sometimes hit repeat on the orchestral cover of it by Joseph Willam Morgan, which I highly recommend if you want to get all up in your Brittana feels, because that arrangement is so freaking epic and sweeping.
I've been trying to post once a month. This is my April release and I hope to see you sometime in May.
