A/N: I hope there are still some fans out there who are passionate about Hannah Montana and the Miley/Lilly ship. I dedicate this story to all of you!
CHAPTER ONE
Every evening when Lilly was twelve, she'd knelt beside her bed, hands clasped in prayer, begging in front of the Hannah Montana poster. At fourteen, she fought for Hannah's honor and took a hit that split her lip and left her tongue tasting iron, because a girl in her class had dared to say Hannah's cheeks looked like hamster pouches stuffed with nuts. And at sixteen, she finally got her wish: a ticket to see her idol live in concert.
A night that left her devastated.
Lilly stood outside the beachside yard, her bare toes sinking into hot sand, and sifted through a desk of discarded stuff left out by the house's owner. She slipped the stack of signed autograph cards back into the yellowed box and tucked one into the pocket of her surf shorts.
Behind her, the ocean sloshed foamy waves against the shore, bringing a sharp whiff of salt. Sunlight flickered through the palm fronds towering over the terracotta roof of the two-story house and beat down on her head with prickling heat.
She grabbed the handle of the umbrella propped against the white picket fence, gave it a quick twirl, and let it clack back into place. On the scratched oak desk outside the fence that enclosed the sandy backyard, schoolbooks from junior year piled next to sequined pillows, dog-eared girly magazines, and a pile of old clothes.
Lilly slid her fingers into a hot pink, fingerless leather glove she found among the scarves and caps and flexed her hand. A warm sense of déjà vu bloomed in her chest. Wow. Just like the one Hannah had worn during her last album promo.
And this Barbie doll… She picked it up, its sequined leather jacket catching the sunlight in glinting cerulean. Hadn't she owned the same one back then?
She set the doll back down and reached for a backstage pass draped over a pillow. Her thumb brushed the faded print: Rockstar U.S. Tour 2009, and she froze. What a dreadful number. The two, the nine, and those awful zeros. But the twenty-ten was worse. She let the pass clatter into a cardboard box, grabbed her soda can from the desk, tipped it back, and gulped down several mouthfuls. The warm liquid left a flat, sticky sweetness on her tongue. She grimaced. She'd let it bake in the heat too long.
A seagull landed on top of a lava lamp, its claws clacking against the glass. The lamp wobbled, tipped, and rolled towards the edge of the desk. With a frantic flap, the seagull launched back into the air. Lilly shot out a hand and caught the lamp just before it fell.
She straightened and turned it over in her hands, the clear azure sky warping behind the glass. Tacky as it was, it wasn't so bad. Definitely better than the tentacle-shaped monstrosity the previous resident of her dorm room had left behind. But–
Red.
Lilly held her breath. The hardened wax at the bottom was red.
Like blood. The puddle's edges dried dark on asphalt. Its surface gleamed under the harsh flash of a camera. No. No, she couldn't. Lilly squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the images, and forced them open again. All these bad memories. Why? What was wrong with her today?
A face shot into view, stretched and warped by the curve of the glass.
She flinched. Her fingers slipped, and the lamp shattered against the desk's edge. Translucent liquid splashed across her lower legs, and waxy chunks scattered in the sand around her.
Her gaze locked onto the washed-out blue eyes of the middle-aged man standing behind the fence, a cardboard box clutched to his chest.
"Oh shoot. I'm so sorry!" Lilly dropped to her knees and picked glass shards from the sand. She ran her hand over the ground to make sure she hadn't missed any. Bare feet and broken glass? That was a bloody disaster waiting to happen.
"Don't worry 'bout it." The man's Southern drawl reached her from above. "That ol' thing was headin' for the trash anyhow. I can't imagine anyone wantin' it. Even for free."
He leaned over the fence and set the cardboard box beside a rhinestone-studded casket. He slicked back his toffee-colored hair and his long breath drifted into a sigh.
Lilly clinked the shards into the aluminum base, set it back on the desk, and rubbed a hand over her bare arm. "I really don't think that's true. Some of this stuff's seriously amazing."
She picked up a silver picture frame. Behind the glass, a concert ticket rested on a glittering pink background. In one corner, someone had scrawled First Concert in loopy, uneven black marker. Definitely the handwriting of a middle schooler. "These are rare Hannah Montana items. I bet they'd go for a lot among the right crowd." Lilly set the frame down. "Well, at least they would to me."
The man's gaze softened under his creased brow as his eyes slid from Lilly's face to the picture frame in her hands. But he stayed silent.
Lilly picked up a violet pencil case and slid the zipper open. "I was there that night. At the concert." She paused and grabbed a dull pencil. "It was surreal. I still remember how confused and worried everyone was." She clicked the pencil back into the case and zipped it closed with a quick tug. "Are these your daughter's things?"
The man let out a low hum, his eyes glazing over again. He inclined his chin toward the cardboard box. "Could be there's somethin' in there for ya." He picked up the shattered remains of the lava lamp, turned, and shuffled across the sandy yard toward his house. -ist es klar ganz am anfang schon wo genau lilly ist? Was sie tut? Also am strand und am strand steht ein tisch mit sachen zum frien mitnehmen der der besitzer des hauses das dirkt am strand steht herausgetsllt hat. Und sie schaut sich die sachen an? oder ist immer nch etwas verwirrend am anfang?
He didn't seem like much of a talker. Maybe a little… weird? Lilly paused, the pencil case frozen in her hand. No, not weird. Just sad. Probably depressed. Maybe his daughter had moved out? Whatever it was, he didn't seem to be handling it very well.
Her gaze drifted toward the cardboard box. So, something in there for her… She unfolded the flaps and peered inside.
Several pairs of beady eyes stared back at her. She yanked a stuffed bunny out by its ears and let it dangle in the air. Fifteen years ago, she would've squealed with joy and hugged it to her chest. But now? It gave off a sour whiff of dried tomato sauce. She wrinkled her nose and let the rabbit drop back into the box. What made him think a grown woman would be into musty, dust-ridden toys?
A rose-colored edge peeked from a teddy bear's plush butt and an elephant trunk curled up on an ape glaring from inside the box. She reached in and pulled out a slim book. Sunlight scattered a holographic shimmer across its padded plastic cover. Could it be…? She flipped it open to the first page.
August 15, 2006
Today's the big day. I'm SWEATING in this layered outfit, and my stomach is cramping. Not because I'm nervous (which I totally am), but also because I'm worried about wearing white pants. Those TV ads where women in white summer dresses skip happily through flowery fields? Total lie. There's nothing fun about bleeding out like a pig at a butcher shop.
I wonder how big the crowd's going to be. Daddy says the stage is twice as huge this time. He's waiting backstage, cheering me on. He even gave me a good luck charm. It's a bracelet with a tiny gold clover. I love it. As long as he's rooting for me, I just know nothing can go wrong.
The last lines seemed hastily jotted down.
Oh lord, here we go! Keep your fingers crossed for me, diary!
Yeah, this was definitely the diary of a teenager, probably no older than twelve or thirteen. Most likely a school performance. Lilly rustled the pages to the next entry.
Jagged letters sprawled across the paper.
October 25, 2009
My hands are so sweaty, and I keep wiping them on my jeans, but they're damp again the second I stop. During rehearsal, I was so jittery, I knocked over Maverick's guitar, and one of the tuning pegs snapped right off. Daddy was standing right there when it happened. He groaned and pressed his hand to his eyes like he was so disappointed in me that he couldn't even look at me. I just stood there frozen. I knew he was going to scold me again, and sure enough, there it was. "Ya 'bout
as coordinated as a catfish on a bicycle." Maybe the words weren't even that bad. But it's not just the words. It's the way he looks at me now like he can't stand me being around anymore. I should be used to it by now. I know I don't deserve his forgiveness.
The whole drive here, I kept thinking about telling him. But the guitar accident made me realize there's no point in doing it. It's not like he'd care if I just disappeared. Besides, he never takes me seriously anymore. But how could I blame him?
Maybe it's better this way. I used to pray every night for God to send me someone who understands, someone to watch over me. A guardian angel. But He never did.
Now I know He had a different plan for me. And you know what? In a strange way, it's almost comforting to think about.
Lilly snapped the diary shut. What was she doing? How would she feel if a stranger read her old diary? Just, no. Even if the entries were years old. She gnawed at her lower lip, a furrow pushing her brows together. What had happened in those three years between the entries? It was like a totally different person had written it.
But the handwriting had been the same. It had been the same girl. The man's daughter? Lilly glanced up at the house's pastel-yellow wooden facade, where a double row of polished windows gleamed in the sunlight.
Did he even know the diary was out here? She had to give it back. But would it be weird to climb over the fence and knock at the deck door? Lilly tapped a beat on the diary's cover. Yeah, no. Probably too intrusive. But going all the way around the house…
"Yo, Lilly! Hurry up!" Oliver's voice rose above the sloshing of the ocean. "The waves aren't gonna wait all day, you know?" He stood at the shoreline with his feet buried in the water. He adjusted his white surfboard under his tattooed arm and shook the water from his raven-black bangs.
He was probably right. She could return the diary later. She slid it under the stack of girly magazines plastered with Jonas Brothers' faces, then added a pillow on top for good measure. Next, she wedged the picture frame between the wooden slats of the fence and the desk. She'd grab it later.
A crooked grin spread across Oliver's face, and his lip piercing caught the sunlight with a metallic flash. "What's with digging through that garbage? Tomorrow you're gonna be buried in college junk anyway."
"I'm coming." Lilly tightened the drawstring on her arctic-blue surf shorts. She yanked her surfboard out of the sand where she had stuck it next to her beach towel, clipped the leash to her ankle, and dashed to the shoreline.
Her toes sank into wet sand and cool waves lapped at her ankles. In the distance, a turquoise wave rolled toward them, growing taller with every passing second. It broke at its peak into frothy white foam before flattening back out into the water.
Oliver lay face down on his surfboard and paddled toward the horizon, where the water met the sky in a soft contrast of turquoise and azure. Lilly followed, stomach flat on her board, and sliced her arms through the sun-warmed water.
A building wave roared closer and the board beneath her rose with it. Spray splashed her in the face at the wave's peak. She raced back down its backside and glided across the flat sea. A rush of anticipation broke into a grin. The waves were bigger than usual. Skipping her study plans for half a day just to be here with Oliver… yeah, that was worth it.
Oliver turned his surfboard around and paddled back the way they'd come, and Lilly followed suit. The wave surged up behind them, and she rose into a standing position. She carved a line down its face, cool spray misting her skin.
They left the wave in shallower water and paddled back out to sea. While they caught wave after wave, the sun climbed from its position above the roofs of the beach houses toward its zenith, where it burned down on Lilly's head, before it descended toward the horizon.
Her tongue darted over her dry lips. God, was she thirsty. The bridge of her nose stung. Crap. She shouldn't have been so sloppy with the sunscreen again. Just one more wave, and then she'd signal to Oliver that it was time to head back to shore.
She paddled toward the next wave. The water dipped the tip of her surfboard up, and Lilly stood. The wind slapped her wet hair over her shoulders as she sliced through the wave.
A shrill scream pierced through the hiss of the waves.
Lilly froze, her surfboard wobbling under her feet. That was a scream, right? A girl had screamed.
She shot a look over her shoulder. A flash of turquoise vastness. A foamy trail carved by her surfboard. But no girl.
Her board tilted sideways, and her feet slipped on the slick surface.
No–
The wave crashed over her and buried her under a swirl of foam and darkness. Churning currents tossed her in all directions and tore at her limbs.
The surface? Where was it? Lilly flailed her arms. Then kicked up.
Dizziness spun her vision one way, while the water twisted her body in the other.
Or was she kicking down?
Her lungs burned with the blazing desperation to suck in a deep breath of air. Instead, she clenched her teeth tighter.
The deep blue void pressed against her from all sides. A sharp tug on her ankle – the leash – her board! Lilly turned toward the pull and kicked hard.
Dim light flickered before her burning eyes.
Almost there… just a little further…
The surface shimmered right above.
Lilly's body screamed for air. She gasped. Too early. Saltwater seared down her throat, scorching her lungs.
With one final kick, she burst out of the water.
She heaved her upper body onto the surfboard and clung to its edge. She retched up brine from her lungs, gasped and another fit of hacks forced out the rest. Several more gasps filled her chest with fresh air. She was safe. Oh God. She was safe. Her heart stuttered against her ribs.
"Jesus, are you okay?" The voice cut through the roar in her ears and she blinked.
Blurred shapes moved over the water – someone was paddling toward her. Oliver. His arms cut through the waves, his forehead creased into deep lines.
"I–I heard someone scream." The words scraped through Lilly's burning throat, and she let out another wet cough.
Oliver grabbed the edge of Lilly's board to keep it from drifting away. "That must've been you."
"No, no." Heat rushed up her neck and her cheeks burned hot. "It wasn't me. There was someone else. A girl. I'm sure."
"I was right next to you. I didn't hear a thing."
"But what if you missed it? What if–?"
A white-tipped wave lifted them and carried their boards forward. Lilly's breath hitched, and she clung tighter to the edge.
"Okay, stop." Oliver's eyebrows pulled together, but his voice softened. "You almost drowned. You're confused. Let's get you back to solid ground."
No. I–I can't. I have to check." But diving down again…
She clenched her jaw. She had to. She pushed away from her board, sucked in a deep breath, and plunged beneath the water's surface. Dim turquoise light enveloped her, shimmering with the fractured reflections of the fading sun above. She stretched her arms downward and kicked hard–
A hand clamped around her upper arm and yanked her back up.
Lilly broke the surface with a gasp. "What are you–"
"–Look." Oliver braced his forearms against his board and leaned forward. "If someone went under, there'd be a board left floating, wouldn't there?"
"But…" Lilly blinked away the water dripping from her lashes. He was right. There would be. She scanned the ocean's surface where amber light glimmered across the waves. Nothing. No board. No sign of anyone. But still–
"We're almost at the beach." Oliver released her arm and jerked his head toward the shore. "We'll tell the lifeguards. They'll handle it."
But–but wouldn't it be too late by then?
"Lilly?"
The waves tossed her board back and forth. But only if someone was really drowning. "I…"
"To the beach." Hazel eyes held her in place. "Okay?"
Lilly swallowed hard, the sharp taste of salt still burning in the back of her throat. Another wave surged beneath them and rolled them closer to the shore. She dug her nails deeper into the slick surface of the board. Maybe–maybe he was right…
"I promise, it'll be fine."
Lilly closed her eyes and gave a sharp nod.
The waves carried them toward the shore. Lilly stumbled onto the sand and staggered toward their outstretched beach towels. She wedged her board upright in the sand beside them.
Oliver did the same, then tilted his head toward a white-painted hut on wooden stilts farther down the beach. "I'll tell the lifeguards." He jogged off.
Lilly rubbed her hands over the goosebumps trembling across her upper arms. Lifeguards were professionals. If there really was a girl out there, they'd find her… right?
Above, a flock of seagulls cawed with grating krrr's, their feathers tinged gold in the evening light.
Oliver stepped down from the hut's stairs, and his compact, wiry frame grew larger as he approached.
Lilly closed the last few steps between them in two quick strides. "And?"
"They're sending someone to check." Oliver pushed past her, dropped onto his striped beach towel, and crossed his legs.
Lilly's gaze swept the horizon, where the sun burned a golden path across the tips of the waves. Where was the rescue boat? Were the lifeguards finishing their coffee before deciding to save a life or what?
"You should sit." Oliver patted the towel beside him.
Lilly remained standing.
"I know what this is."
Lilly shot Oliver a glance before her eyes snapped back to the water.
"It's that thing again, isn't it?"
She knew exactly what he meant. "No." Her whisper cracked, and a fit of coughs forced its way from her dry throat.
"You can't be responsible for everyone's safety." His words blurred into the background, just another hum in the ocean's drone.
She coughed again and her gaze flicked over the towel. Where had she put her soda can?
Oliver reached into his bag and handed her a half-empty water bottle.
"Thanks." Lilly took several gulps that washed away the scratchiness.
He stretched out on his towel, arms crossed behind his head, and his eyes fluttered shut.
Only someone who was totally convinced she'd imagined the scream could be this chill. Maybe he was right…
Two jet skis bobbed across the water's surface and white spray shot up from under their hulls.
"Wanna bet a thousand bucks they won't find anything? Like, an actual bet?" Oliver's eyes remained closed.
A thousand dollars? He wouldn't bet on this unless he was absolutely sure. Sure that there was no girl. Right? Lilly took a chest-heaving breath. It was just her trauma talking. Just her trauma. Everything was fine.
The jet skies carved wide circles into the waves. A couple of minutes later they buzzed back to shore.
Their search was over. Lilly rubbed jittery hands down her face. So Oliver really had been right. She wrung the water from her sandy blonde hair, let the damp tips fall back on her shoulders and, collapsed onto her beach towel beside him.
He propped himself up on his elbows and tilted his head at her. "Feeling better?"
"I always forget how big the waves get in Malibu." Lilly stretched her bare legs across the soft terry cloth of her towel.
"Definitely bigger than Long Beach. That's the real reason you never skip a summer here, right?"
A smile spread across Lilly's lips that eased the last weight off her chest. "Exactly. It's the waves. Not my bestie, who lives just ten minutes from Zuma Beach." She nudged him in the side, then fished two soggy packs of gum out of her surfer shorts. "Want something sweet?"
"What you got?"
"Dripping Peppermint." She raised the red pack to her eyes. "And I think this one's Soaked Strawberry."
His crooked grin returned. "Nah, I'm good. Not everyone runs on sugar, y'know." He pulled a travel-size hand cream jar from his backpack and shook it. The contents rattled.
Was that–? Lilly pressed her lips together.
Oliver plucked a vivid green pill stamped with an alien head from the jar and popped it into his mouth.
"I thought you wanted to quit."
"I did quit." Oliver grabbed a water bottle from his bag.
"Yeah, like a hundred times."
"Exactly." Another grin and he took the last swig from his water bottle and twisted the cap shut.
"Seriously, this isn't the flex you think it is."
"Chill, I'm fine."
Until he wasn't. The protest sat heavy in Lilly's throat, but she swallowed it down.
The sun had slipped below the horizon, and the sand's color had shifted from a glowing orange to a deep umber. The burnished sky tinted the ocean in fading light. Further down the beach, five dark silhouettes stacked driftwood into a pyramid.
Oliver shoved the jar back into his bag and zipped it shut. "You sure you're skipping the Rave River Club?"
"Practical final exams start in a week, so…" Lilly pushed back a sigh but let her shoulders sag. "But don't you have to flip burgers tomorrow?"
"No problemo." One corner of his mouth twitched upward. "The pills keep me awake for days. Believe me."
Her gaze fell on the dark circles rimming his eyes. Oh. She had no trouble believing him.
Orange flames burst through the stacked driftwood, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of smoky firewood. Someone tossed something into the fire and violet streaks shot through the flames.
Probably potassium chloride. She used to love this stuff as a kid.
Oliver sat up and tugged a black hoodie over his head. His gaze wandered down the deserted beach, to their right, where the windows of the lined-up beach houses ripped glowing rectangles into the darkness. "Driving in the dark, though…" A frown creased his brow. "You can crash at my place and head out early if you want."
"Appreciated, but Freddy's headlights are brighter than the sun."
"Freddy?"
"My car." Lilly scrunched up her face. "And if your girl finds out I crashed at your place again, she'll bless my inbox with another one of her charming messages."
"Fair enough." His chuckle dissolved into a smirk
They said their goodbyes, and Oliver disappeared down the beach. Lilly slipped a shirt over her bikini top and pulled her baseball cap on backward. She rubbed her dry tongue over the roof of her mouth, then darted it across her chapped lips. Seriously, where was her soda?
Her gaze fell on the desk in front of the white-fenced house, still piled high with boxes and pillows. Hadn't she left it there?
Lilly heaved her surfboard under her arm and trudged through the sand with unsteady steps. The can gleamed with a pale sheen under the moonlight. She reached for it, but stopped, her hand hovering over the can.
The diary sat open amidst scattered stuffed animals and costume jewelry. Oh, man. Someone had already flipped through it. Had they read all of her private entries? She should at least return it now. Before more people got their hands on it.
The inky silhouette of the house loomed against the starry sky.
But he was probably asleep. Or maybe he'd gone out. Lilly leaned the surfboard against the picket fence with a hollow clunk. She picked up a stuffed piglet from the ground, dusted off the sand, and placed it back in the cardboard box. She clinked the jewelry into the rhinestone-studded casket and stacked the pillows into a neat pile.
A burst of red set the diaries pages aglow.
Lilly flinched and stumbled backward. What–
She hesitated, then reached out. Another pulse of hot red light flared across the pages. She yanked her hand back. The campfire. It had to be the campfire. She spun around.
Red flames licked at the charred logs, casting a faint glow on the surrounding sand. Shadows stretched across the space between her and the fire. Impossible. The fire was way too far to light up the diary.
A shadowy figure drifted behind the flames, and the fire burst into blue. Then green. Then red.
Lilly swallowed hard and forced herself to turn back to the diary. The pages pulsed red, sank into deep shadows, and flared back to life.
No. No way. This was insane. She was imagining this. Lilly leaned closer, her shoulder-long hair brushing her cheeks.
October 25, 2009
My hands are so sweaty, and I keep wiping them on my jeans, but they're damp again the second I stop. During rehearsal, I was so jittery, I knocked over Maverick's guitar, and one of the tuning pegs snapped right off. Daddy was standing right there–
Acid bubbled in her stomach and burned its way up her throat. Lilly clenched her teeth into a grimace. Oh, God. What–? The illuminated windows on the house beside her smeared sideways. She gripped the edge of the desk, and a strained groan broke through her lips.
The ice cream. It had to be the ice cream. Oliver had told her it looked weird. Those grayish fruit chunks. It must have been mold–
All strength bled from her body and her muscles went slack. Her knees buckled. The glowing windows sped out of her vision, and dark sky rushed overhead. Her head hit the sand with a dull thud. Pain bloomed for a millisecond, then darkness crept in…
A wave of muffled shouts rolled toward her and swelled in volume until it shattered with an air-splitting bang. A hiss sliced through the cheers, followed by another explosion that sent a wave of nausea upward. Lilly recoiled in her seat and threw her arms over her head.
The campfire? She swallowed back the bile.
Another bang echoed in the distance, and a flash of light burned through her closed eyelids.
Too loud. Too bright. Then what? What was going on?
Lilly gritted her teeth against the sickness and blinked her eyes open. A golden streak fizzled into the night sky. A moment later, it exploded into a cascade of falling sparks.
Fireworks. On Zuma Beach? But how…
Rows of orange plastic seats curved in a semicircle toward a stage. The crowd tilted their heads skyward. Hexagonal stars burst open on the massive LED screen at the back of the stage and shattered into pixelated fragments of violet, orange-red, and white.
Impossible. Lilly went still, her chest heaving with ragged breaths.
In the distance, sandy mountains rose against a star-speckled sky, their dark bases twinkling with the golden lights of the city below.
This–this wasn't just any concert.
Dancers on stage waved their arms, urging the standing crowd at the front to clap along to the beat.
This was the Canyon View Amphitheater in Malibu. The one where Hannah Montana had vanished forever.
