With scientific greetings, Doctor Futurus, part 2

"Hey, give me the card!" Diego grabbed the bag with the business card, but Five pulled it out of his reach in a flash.

"First say please! But politely, if you don't mind!". He grinned maliciously and waved the card in front of Diego's face.

A low growl came from Diego's chest, then he exploded and like a tiger he threw himself at his brother with all his strength, sending them both crashing to the ground. Five let out a moan as he hit the floor hard. The pebbles dug right through his school jacket and into his back. That hurt! But Diego didn't seem to have been bothered by the fall, because he wasted no time in pinning him down with all his weight, driving the pebbles deeper into his skin. Five stifled a whimper.

"Give me the card!" his brother demanded.

"Forget it! Get off me now, Diego!"

"Not until you give me the card!"

"I told you to be polite first..."

Diego increased the pressure on Five's chest, driving the points of the stones directly into his skin. Five kicked out angrily with his legs, trying to shake off his brother, but he had no chance against Diego in the duel. Tears fought their way into Five's eyes; he would soon be seen by his brother as a weeping weakling. Unbridled anger seethed in his guts.

" ¡Dios mío, what's wrong with kids these days, eh? Why do they have to fight all the time, ha? I thought you were ... professional support! ¡Qué tontería! What nonsense! Maybe we'd better call someone else?" Ortiz looked down disapprovingly at the two fighting guys and gesticulated accusingly with his hands.

"That won't be necessary," hissed Sir Reginald Hargreeves in a sharp tone. "NUMBER 1!"

"Here I come, Dad!" In big strides Luther stepped towards his siblings and with a single, effortless tug, he pulled Diego off Five. Five, finally freed from his brother's weight, jumped up immediately and furtively wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes. Then he shot flashes of anger from his eyes towards Diego, whom Luther had now grabbed and was holding in a vice-like grip.

"What do you want me to do with him, Dad?" he asked, waiting for further instructions.

"Let go of me now, you monkey face!" Diego roared angrily and with all his might he tried to free himself from Luther's grip. He squirmed, trying to kick Luther in his most sensitive parts, but an ant could just as easily have fought an elephant. Diego had absolutely nothing against Luther's huge muscles and he couldn't reach his knives because Luther had both arms of him locked tightly against his body. Five grinned maliciously, now Diego was finally getting the thrashing he deserved!

"Number 1, take Diego to the team bus, I think we've seen enough of him for today!" ordered Sir Reginald Hargreeves, scornfully examining the constrained Diego from top to bottom.

"Number 2, I am extremely disappointed in you! Such behavior is highly unworthy and a disgrace to the entire Academy! I am relieving you of this mission with immediate effect! You will wait on the bus!"

Diego's eyes widened in shock. "But Dad! That's not fair! Number 5 started it, it's all his fault! Dad, please! Don't send me away, I can help, Dad!"

But Sir Reginald Hargreeves paid no attention to Diego's begging and pleading, instead he turned his back on him.

"Pogo, you make sure that Number 2 doesn't interfere with the investigation any further!" he instructed the chimpanzee.

"Yes, sir!" "Come on boy, let's go." Luther let go of Diego, who was no longer resisting but crying softly as Pogo led him back to the team bus.

"Did you have to do that, Five?" Allison hissed, looking after Diego and Pogo until Pogo closed the bus doors behind them. "You know how irritable Diego is! And you still deliberately teased him!" She trembled and Luther put his arm around her reassuringly.

Five shrugged his shoulders impassively and shook out his jacket. "It's not my fault that he never learned to say please, all he had to do was ask politely and he could have had the card, but if someone has no manners..."

"You arrogant little prick! This fight was stupid and unnecessary! It's only because of you that he's on the bus now and Dad's angry. This is all your fault! You should be expelled from the mission, not him! If Luther hadn't helped you before, then..." She made a cutthroat gesture.

"Hey, nothing against a good show, Allison!" Klaus grinned. "But I wouldn't bet on our Five in a real fight, well, except maybe ... in a chess match. You'd flatten them all, wouldn't you Five? Why didn't you just teleport out from under him? Wanted to make it exciting, eh?" He laughed heartily.

Five rolled his eyes, knocked the remaining dust off his uniform and smoothed out his jacket. He would never admit that Diego's attack had taken him so by surprise that he had completely forgotten about his powers. He would die of shame if his siblings found out that he wasn't the cool and logical thinker he always pretended to be.

Sure, Klaus knew that he also had a weak side, after all, he had comforted him more than once. But when it came to feelings, Klaus was simply ... different. His brother has never judged, has never made fun of his shortcomings, but was simply there when Five needed him most. With him, he could be himself and show his vulnerable side. But he would never reveal this part of himself to the others.

That was exactly why Diego's sudden attack had frightened him so much. A few seconds longer and everyone would have seen him crying. He would have been exposed for all to see! The thought displeased him mightily. He shook himself. His usual feeling of superiority had disappeared, but now that his mind was working again, he would get it back. His moment of weakness was a thing of the past and he would make sure it stayed right there.

Five bent down and picked up the piece of evidence from the floor. "Here, Detective." He handed Ortiz the bag with the business card, which had been badly damaged in the fight. The Detective took it with raised eyebrows. "¡Gracias! I guess that's no good now, eh?" He reproachfully held the crumpled bag in front of Five's face.

"We won't need that anymore," replied Five confidently. "I know exactly how to bring the thief down. His calling card alone tells us a lot."

Ortiz looked confusedly at the crumpled card in his hand. His expression darkened. "What's this piece of paper supposed to tell us, hey? Except that the thief thinks he's a comic book super villain? What kind of name is that anyway, eh, Doctor Futurus? Reminds me of the nonsense comics my little brother used to read when he was a niño, a little boy, there was also a Doctor who fought that spider man, Doctor October, or something like that." He scratched his beard thoughtfully. "It's all nonsense anyway, what's in these magazines, ¡Qué estupidez!"

"Octopus, it's Doctor Octopus," Ben mumbled without raising his voice. Five looked at his brother in amazement.

"What was that?" asked Ortiz, turning his attention directly to Ben, who was seeking shelter behind Klaus.

"My brother says the bad guy you mean is called Doctor Octopus, not Doctor October!" Klaus repeated Ben's words loud and clear. Ben whispered something in Klaus' ear. "He says it's because of his grasping arms, which make him look like an eight-armed octopus, hence the name, Dr. Octopus. His name is not Dr. October!"

"Octopus, October, what does it matter, eh?" asked Detective Ortiz impatiently. "It's got nothing to do with our case, no?"

"Actually it has a lot to do with it!" Five explained, casting a grateful glance in Ben's direction. His sharp-witted and comic-obsessed brother had drawn exactly the right conclusions! Now he just had to present the whole picture in a way that even this moronic policeman would understand. Five took a deep breath.

"Our burglar, just like the comic book villain, Dr. Octopus, suffers from delusions of grandeur. An antique telescope like the one Galileo Galilei used, a measuring device for Becquerel, developed by Madame Curie and her husband," Five counted off on his fingers, "and now a model rocket of Explorer 1!

The burglar is undoubtedly a collector who specializes in scientific exhibits, and very special ones at that. All of them mark a great leap in the history of science and Dr. Futurus - which is certainly not his real name - wants them. The rocket will not be the last exhibit he steals, because for people who suffer from hubris, that is delusions of grandeur, there is no such thing as enough. They want more and more, it's in their nature.

So, Detective, now we're coming to my final question: What happens to all the megalomaniac villains in the end? Do you know?" Five looked at Detective Ortiz challengingly.

Ortiz, who had been silently listening to Five's explanations, pulled his shoulders up at a loss. "I ... eh ... have no idea?"

Five's eyes sparkled triumphantly. He had expected nothing less from the fat man. "Ben, why don't you tell our Detective how it usually ends for comic book villains? You're the expert on comics here!" He nodded encouragingly at Ben, who was still hiding behind Klaus.

"They ... so they get caught by the heroes because they make stupid mistakes..." Ben mumbled from behind Klaus' shoulder.

"That's right, Ben! Thanks!" Five gave Ben his broadest smile and he beamed back. Then he turned back to the policeman.

"Do you see where this is going, Detective Ortiz? Dr. Futurus will make a mistake, just like all super villains do, and that's when he'll be caught! Because he'll play right into our hands! So our case is as good as solved!" Five's face had taken on a victorious expression.

Detective Ortiz's gaze grew more and more incredulous, his eyes wandering from the card in his hand to Five and back again. Argh! He had known! This small-minded policeman had understood nothing of his and Ben's explanations! Only the direct method could help. Five straightened himself and took a step forward.

"Umbrella Academy, watch out, it is our turn! Luther! Allison! Interrogate the museum guard again. Find out if he's been hiding anything from the police. Every little detail could be important, so squeeze him for all he's worth! Let him show you the surveillance tapes too, okay? Allison, you use your Rumour powers if the guard refuses to cooperate, okay? And Luther, you keep him in check if he tries to do anything stupid. Just, mhhh... use your muscles!"

"You got it, Five! We'll sort it out! You can rely on the babies here," Luther said, flexing his muscles. Allison, who had her arms crossed, started to protest, but Luther was already pulling her away towards the crime scene.

Five breathed a sigh of relief, he was rid of the prickly Allison for once and the fool Luther as well. Double bingo. That left two siblings.

"Klaus! You look around the exhibition! Even if there were no deaths during the break-ins, maybe you'll pick up some vibrations that could help us. Just extend your psychic antennae a little, maybe you'll discover something," he instructed his brother.

"And Ben, you're coming with me, right? We'll take a closer look outside. Let's go!"

Klaus looked at him unhappily. His brother's fearful eyes stabbed him right in the heart. Of course Five had not forgotten that Klaus was terrified of his powers. The many nights together in the mausoleum still burned painfully in his memory. The screams, the tears, his own injury to his leg. The mental wounds had not healed and now he was forcing Klaus to use his abilities again. He felt like a soulless monster, but Klaus needed a task, he couldn't expose him in front of their father. Who knew what he would do to him if he found out that Klaus didn't even dare to use his powers during the day? A solution had to be found, one that wouldn't make his brother look like a pile of misery in their father's eyes ...

"You know what, Klaus? You'd better take Ben with you, let him support you, all right? I get on best on my own anyway, at least there's no one to disturb my thinking." He winked inconspicuously at Klaus who breathed a silent "Thank you" and made his way into the building with Ben by the hand.

"So that leaves me," Five said. "I'll have another look around the outside area. You said that there were no signs of forced entry in any of the thefts, right?"

Detective Ortiz, who had been watching with his mouth hanging open as Five took command of the operation, nodded to him.

" ¡Cierto!, no traces, no doors or windows were broken at any of the crime scenes, it's as if the burglar could just disappear and reappear like a mago, how do you say, like a ... magician! Just like that, eh?" He snapped his fingers.

"Then it's time we snatched the magic cloak from this wizard!" said Five in a determined tone. "And I'll be the one to unmask him, count on it!" Five turned his gaze to the museum.

"One more thing, Ortiz, why don't you make yourself useful in the meantime and find out if any scientists from high-tech companies have gone missing lately. Ask around bio labs, robotics companies and don't forget the companies working in microelectronics or quantum computing. Just check out every company in the area that has something to do with technology and development. It's highly likely that our Doctor comes from one. You know, mad scientist and all ..."

Five set off in the direction of the museum, leaving a bewildered Detective Ortiz behind him.

"¡Madre mía! This boy is, eh... es muy extraño. ¡Todos están locos! Who ... or what are these niños?" asked Detective Ortiz, stammering and hastily crossing himself.

"This, Detective, is the entrance class of the Umbrella Academy!" said Sir Reginald Hargreeves with a proudly swelling chest and then also made his way towards the crime scene.