Clank did not mind recharging in the same room as Ratchet, so he did not look at his options for a new recharging station. It was well after Al had returned to his business when Ratchet finally brought up selecting a new model. Clank perused the list, but he did not like any of them. He told Ratchet that he had decided to pay Al for his expertise. Ratchet called him up that day, and he and Clank spent hours going over what he wanted. Al promised it as soon as possible. So it was a month before Clank's new recharging station was up and ready for use.
Ratchet bid him goodnight the first night he was to recharge alone since the incident, as they were beginning to refer to it. It was a few hours after Ratchet's vitals indicated he had fallen into a deep sleep, and Clank did not quite understand why he was reluctant to go recharge. It was not like he needed to recharge every night like Ratchet needed to sleep, but he usually topped up in case of a random adventure. Even on their less exciting outings, he liked to be prepared. Clank tried to sort out his feelings, but he simply could not do so by himself. Feelings were not instinctive to him, and he often needed to be told what he was feeling. Most other robotic beings often had trouble with emotions at some point, and Clank supposed it was his turn. But oh, how it frustrated him, and that was one feeling he could name.
It was very late indeed when Ratchet came padding out of his room to see Clank playing one of the games based off of their adventures. Clank did not bother to look at him. Ratchet joined him on the couch and picked up a second controller. They sat and finished the level, which took about twenty minutes, without saying a word. After they had beaten the boss, Ratchet tossed aside his controller.
"Not tired?"
"I do not get tired as you do, Ratchet," Clank replied. "And my energy levels are still in the green."
"You can use that excuse all you want," Ratchet replied. "I know something's bothering you or you would be recharging. And the last time something was bothering you and I didn't ask, you nearly died. Or at least your memories almost did. I don't want that to happen again." Leaning over, Ratchet picked Clank up and set him in his lap. "Talk to me, Clank. What's bothering you?"
Clank took a deep intake of air to cool his suddenly warm systems. Ratchet's honesty was refreshing, as he was usually too bothered and embarrassed by his own feelings to speak of them without difficulty. It was due to him growing up pretty much alone, with nobody to show him how to act or what to do when overwhelmed with feelings. Which, Clank realized, was how he felt. As for the particular feeling, perhaps talking with Ratchet would help him sort it out. He leaned back against Ratchet's chest and offlined his optics as he listened the steady beat of his friend's heart.
"What are you doing?" Ratchet asked, a smile in his voice.
"Listening to your heartbeat," Clank replied. "The rhythm is soothing. It reminds me that you are still alive, despite Nefarious's attempts to turn you into a robot and kill you."
"Oh," Ratchet murmured.
Clank onlined his optics to see Ratchet's ears slicked back and an affectionate smile playing across his lips. "Thank you for saving me, Ratchet," Clank said. "Both times."
"I'm just sorry I didn't get to you sooner," Ratchet said. "I wish I had. I thought something was wrong with you. It was like your whole personality had switched. But I… I didn't think it wasn't really you."
"Nefarious was far more clever than we were ready for," Clank replied. "Perhaps we should come up with a system to test each other, just in case."
"Hey, that's not a bad idea," Ratchet said, grinning. "We'll come up with something later." His grin faded and he wrapped his arms around Clank's small body. "Now what's wrong?"
"I am not sure," Clank said plainly. "I suppose I am reluctant to recharge alone."
"Why's that?"
"I am not sure," Clank replied again.
"Think about it and take a guess," Ratchet said.
Clank sat there for a few moments. "It cannot be that I will damage myself again," he finally said. "Al specially designed the station to release me if I try and get away. He also said he was going to put in a word about making that a standard feature on the newer models."
"Yeah, that's true."Ratchet said.
"What do you think?" Clank asked.
"I think," Ratchet said slowly, "you're scared of being alone. And I don't blame you. What he did to you was awful. That blowtorch and acid and just… you couldn't move. And you were screaming for me in your head but… but you couldn't make a sound." Ratchet's voice broke and he began to cry, clutching Clank closer. "You were helpless and all you wanted was me, Clank. And I was half a city away with some fake you without a clue. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
"I do not remember it," Clank assured him.
"Maybe your memory chips don't, but that doesn't mean it's not there inside you," Ratchet said through his tears. "That much stress to anybody's system would be remembered even if it's not something you can recall, you know? And you said yourself you think the damage is more than physical. I think that's what you mean, and it makes perfect sense."
"So I am afraid?" Clank asked. He shivered. "I do not like this feeling."
"But it's okay to be afraid. I'm right here," Ratchet said, nuzzling Clank's smooth head with his cheek. "And we have plenty of time to beat the first two games. Another one is going to come out soon, no doubt."
"Oh, then we must be ready for that," Clank said. "Perhaps later today we can restart and play through both games together."
"Are we going back to bed?" Ratchet asked.
"I believe I would like to recharge, but would you mind if I continue to do so in your room?" Clank asked.
"Sure, as long as you need to," Ratchet assured him. "When you're ready, you can move back to your room."
"Thank you, Ratchet," Clank said. "You are the best of friends."
"Well, for you," Ratchet said. "I'm pretty antisocial, otherwise."
Clank let out a laugh as he hopped off the couch and turned off the holoscreen. "Come, Ratchet. And thank you for explaining. Emotions are so confusing."
"Tell me about it," Ratchet muttered, standing up and stretching.
Clank turned to appraise his organic friend, stunned by this revelation. "You struggle with feelings, too?" he asked.
"Sure. Everybody does," Ratchet said dismissively. "But it's been better since you came along. Sometimes you just need to talk and have somebody say, 'Yeah, I get it. It sucks, but I'm here.'"
"That is very wise, Ratchet," Clank said.
"Sure is. But you tend to be pretty wise when you're giving advice," Ratchet said.
Clank felt a wave of pleasure wash through him, and he giggled. "That was my advice?"
"Not directly. After our first adventure. I felt like I had failed because I hadn't been listening to you. So much damage to so many planets. But then you sat with me and simply agreed that it was bad, but that it would be okay. I hadn't even known how I was feeling. But you did."
"I suppose it is easier for me to read others than myself," Clank said as they started toward Ratchet's room.
"That's okay. I've got you, Clank."
Something inside of Clank was soothed by those words. He could not recall what exactly it was, so it must have been in the memories he had lost from their time after watching the movie. He was reminded of Ratchet hugging him on the couch, and he relaxed.
"If damage can be more than physical, do you think that the positive experiences can be more than physical as well, Ratchet?"
"I guess so," Ratchet said as he crawled into bed. "Why?"
"Because those words made me feel very safe and content, and I do not think it was because of the present circumstances."
Ratchet smiled a little. "I did say that when you came stumbling in here, now that you mention it."
"Well, then it must be true," Clank replied.
"What is?"
"That I felt safe with you, and that is why I came to you when I was in distress."
Clank plugged himself into the compact recharging station and glanced at Ratchet to see him blink away tears through a very tender expression.
"That means a lot, Clank," he said.
"I know," Clank replied, his optics softening his expression into a smile. "Goodnight, Ratchet."
"Goodnight, Clank," Ratchet said and switched off the lights.
And that's all for this little story. I hope you enjoyed it, and thanks so much for reading. God bless.
