CHAPTER 2

Stark, Banner, Strange, Wong, Maw & Cull were nowhere to be seen. Wade looked around until he saw the unconscious body of Strange about to hit the ground, only to be caught by the web-slinging superhero Spider-Man, also known as Peter Parker.

"Way to go, tiger!" Wade exclaimed.

Suddenly, Strange's body was being pulled up by a tractor beam from a spaceship. As Peter held onto the webbed Strange and grabbed a lamppost to anchor them down, Wade sprinted over.

"I'm coming, kid!" Wade shouted as he shimmied up the lamppost to give Peter a hand.

"Sorry, who're you?" Peter confusingly asked.

"Your friendly neighborhood Deadpool." Wade responded. "Gimme your hand."

As Peter reached out for Wade's hand, Maw uses his telekinetic powers to break the lamppost from its foundation, causing Strange's body to continue up the tractor beam with Peter still attached. Wade following suit in tow, quickly grabbing Peter's legs.

"DICK MOVE, PALPATINE!" Wade yelled at Maw.

"Uh, Mr. Stark?" Peter contacted Stark. "I'm being beamed up!"

"Hang on, kid!" Stark said from the receiver. As Peter kept his grip on the webbing that held Strange's body, Wade kept his firm grasp on Peter's legs. He looked down and saw Stark and Wong battling with Cull whilst Banner helplessly watched.

Next thing Wade knew, Maw had used his power to cut the web that was holding Strange's body, causing Strange to become his prisoner and sending Peter and Wade falling onto the spaceship's hull. Peter managed to cling to the side whereas Wade wasn't fortunate to latch on.

Just when he nearly was out of the spaceship's range, Strange's Cloak of Levitation rescued Wade and brought him back to the bottom of the ship.

"Thanks, magic carpet." Wade jokingly said, as the Cloak just shook its shoulders in disbelief. The two of them then heard and saw Peter removing a parachute from his new Iron Spider suit and quickly latched a web to the edge of the spaceship. As he climbed closer, Wade grabbed his hand and pulled Peter in.

"It'll be a cold day in hell when we leave you out of a cash cow crossover like this," Wade excitingly said.

"Oh my god," Peter exhaled, catching his breath. "I should have stayed on the bus."

The trio crawled inside of the airlock just before the ship left Earth into hyperspace. As the three of them worked their way through the inner machinations of the spaceship, they see Maw interrogating Strange with Stark watching, hidden from above. While Peter uses his web to get down to Stark's level, the Cloak helps Wade sneak to the lower end. The Cloak then goes over to tap Stark on the arm. Stark turns around and raises his hand, ready to shoot, but stands down when he sees it's just Strange's cloak.

"Wow. You're a seriously loyal piece of outerwear, aren't you?" Stark says.

"I know, right?" Wade said, behind Stark. "And I betcha it makes a great big spoon at night."

Stark turned around, bewildered at the sight of Wade.

"Who the hell are you?" Stark asked.

"I'm Wade. Wade Wilson." Wade introduced himself. "But you can call me Deadpool. Your head of security Happy must've forgotten to tell you that I'm starting today as a new Avenger. I figured that I'd make a good first impression by helping you save that wizard."

"Yeah, thanks but no thanks." Stark said. "I don't have time babysitting some Spider-Man cosplaying ninja wannabe."

"Yeah, uh, speaking of which…" Peter said as he appeared upside down from a web on the ceiling.

"Nice entrance, by the way," Wade quipped.

"What the-" Stark said as his eyes widened.

"I know what you're gonna say," Peter started.

"You should not be here," Stark said.

"I was gonna go home-" Peter explained.

"I don't wanna hear it," Stark interrupted.

"…but it was such a long way down and I just thought about you on the way-" Peter kept explaining.

"And now I gotta hear it." Stark interrupted again, as Wade and the Cloak in the background looked at each other and then back to the other two talking.

"…and I kinda stuck to the side of the ship. And this suit is ridiculously intuitive, by the way…" Peter kept talking, "So if anything, it's kinda your fault I'm here."

"What did you just say?" Stark said in a serious tone, as Wade facepalmed in the background.

"I, I take that back," Peter immediately backpedaled, "and now I'm here in space."

"Yeah, right where I didn't want you to be." Stark said, as he stepped forward closer to Peter. "This isn't Coney Island. This isn't a field trip. It's a one-way ticket. You hear me? Don't pretend like you thought this through-"

"I did, I did think this through-" Peter interrupted.

"You could not have possibly thought this through," Stark said.

"You can't be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man when there's no neighborhood," Peter said in an attempt to justify his means. Cue Stark and Wade looking at Peter confused. "Okay, that didn't really make any sense, but you know what I'm trying to say."

Stark sighed and said "Come on, you two. We got a situation." He brings Peter over to see where Strange is being tortured, with Wade following behind.

"See him down there? He's in trouble," Stark told Peter. "What's your plan? Go."

"Um, ok, ok…" Peter pondered, then looked back at Stark. "Ok, did you ever see this really old movie Aliens?"

"Of course I have. I'm still Fox's bitch," Wade responded, as Peter and Stark look back at him with weird looks.

"Fuck, Negasonic's right… I am old," Wade muttered.

Cut to Strange's face being painfully pierced by a few of Maw's telekinetic needles as his screams in agony.

"Painful aren't they?" Maw mused. "They were originally designed for microsurgery. And any one of them…"

Maw is interrupted by the sound of Stark landing behind him and charging his weapons. He turns around to see just that.

"…could end your friend's life in an instant," Maw finished.

"I gotta tell you, he's not really my friend," Stark admitted. "Saving his life is more a professional courtesy."

Deadpool landed next to Stark, wielding both katanas and said, "On a side note: I'm pretty sure last I saw you," as he pointed at Maw with his katana, "you were thrown down a reactor core. Did you someone return?"

"You've saved nothing," Maw replied. "Your banter is inconsequential compared to my power."

"Yeah, but the kid's seen more movies." Stark quipped.

"…So prepare to meet George Lucas, Sidious," Wade finished.

Stark fires a rocket from his shoulder which pierces the side of the ship, causing Maw and parts of debris to be sucked out into space. Wade hugs onto the back of Stark and plants his katanas into the ground to avoid getting sucked out. Strange begins to get sucked out, but his Cloak wraps around his arm. Unfortunately, his arm slips from it, and he keeps going. Peter shoots a web strand at Strange with one hand and holds onto a piece of the ship with the other. The piece breaks, sending them both towards space when Peter's Iron-Spider suit sprouts metal arms to grab onto the interior side of the spaceship to keep them from being sucked out.

"Yes!" Peter exclaimed. "Wait what are those!?"

Peter then pulls Strange and himself back inside just as Stark sprays nanites onto the hole to plug it up. Peter and Strange safely hit the floor. Both get up on their feet and Peter tries to shake Strange's Cloak's "hand".

"Hey, we haven't officially met," Peter said to the Cloak, as it ignores him and goes to Strange. "Cool."

"We've gotta turn this ship around," Strange said.

"Yeah, now he wants to run. Great plan," Stark sarcastically replied.

"No, I want to protect the stone," Strange answered.,

"And I want you to thank me," Stark said. "Go ahead, I'm listening."

"For what? Nearly blasting me into space?" Strange sarcastically questioned.

"Who just saved your magical ass!? Me," Stark claimed.

"I seriously don't know how you fit your head into that helmet," Strange snarked.

"Admit it. You should have ducked out when I told you to," Stark responded. "I tried to bench you. You refused."

"Unlike everyone else in your life, I don't work with you," Strange said.

"And due to that fact, we're now in a flying donut billions of miles away from Earth with no backup," Stark said.

"We're backup," Peter said as he pointed to himself and Wade.

"No, you two are stowaways," Stark said. "The adults are talking."

"I'm an adult," Wade replied.

"No, you're a manchild," Stark responded.

"Looks who's talking…" Wade muttered under his breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm confused as to the relationship here," Strange confusedly asked. "What are they, your wards?"

"We'd prefer the term 'interns'," Wade answered. "Wade Wilson, a new friend of your Cloak's."

"I'm Peter, by the way," Peter added on.

"Doctor Strange," Strange replied to both of them.

"Oh, we're using our made-up names," Peter said. "Um… I'm Spider-Man, then."

"You can call me Deadpool," Wade chimed in. Strange ignored this and turned his attention back to Stark.

"This ship is self-correcting its course. Thing's on autopilot," Stark said, as he looked at the ship's controls.

"Can we control it? Fly us home?" Strange asked, as Tony thinks whilst not making eye contact. "Stark?"

"Yeah?" Stark asked Strange.

"Can you get us home?" Strange asked.

"Yeah I heard you. I'm thinking…" Stark answered. "I'm not so sure we should."

"Under no circumstance can we bring the Time Stone to Thanos," Strange said. "I don't think you quite understand what's at stake here-"

"No. It's you who doesn't understand," Tony interrupted. "Thanos has been inside my head for six years… since he sent an army to New York and now he's back! And I don't know what to do. So I'm not sure if it's a better plan to fight him on our turf or his but you saw what they did, what he can do. At least on his turf, he's not expecting it. So I say we take the fight to him, Doctor. Do you concur?"

"It's like watching Sherlock Holmes talking to himself," Wade whispered to Peter.

After thinking for a moment, Strange replied "Alright, Stark. We go to him. But you have to understand… if it comes to saving you or the kid or the manchild or the Time Stone… I will not hesitate to let any one of you die. I can't, because the universe depends on it."

"Good. Nice. Moral compass," Stark responded, then he turns to Peter, puts out his arm and mimics a 'knighting' gesture to each of Peter's shoulders. "Alright, kid. You're an Avenger now."

As Stark walks off rolling his eyes, Peter looks at Stark in disbelief and then smiles in satisfaction. Wade looks surprised and asks Stark "Hey. Am- am I an Avenger, too?"

"Don't push your luck, Red Ranger," Stark says offscreen.

Wade then looks to the fourth wall and says, "Well, at least as the Red Ranger, I know what it's like to be gangbanged by both Fox and Disney."