Chapter 41
Blood & Honey
The night felt so heavy as he watched her slowly walk away, backlit by the palace lamps, the weak flames flickering over her all too composed features. The shadows seemed to suffocate him, her face etched in his mind. Every step she took farther away from him felt like a brick straight to his gut.
He hated this feeling.
Pain.
It burned so hotly in his chest that he could hardly stand it. It was all he could do to grit his teeth and watch as she quietly disappeared into the castle, her long river of silver hair cascading down her back like shining ribbons.
He still felt the sting of the kiss they'd shared.
His lips were buzzing, the taste of her lingering there. Sweet orange blossom and warm spices, that's what came to his mind as he licked his lips with a reverence.
After she had gone, her presence fading, the soft noises of the night quietly tittered back to life around him. The crisp breeze washed over him, and after a moment it felt like he could breathe again. He sunk down the wall he'd hid behind, landing in the lush grass with a heavy sigh. At least he'd gotten to kiss her, to hold her one last time. The feeling was unmatched. Though there was a heaviness settling into his gut at the same time.
His master would not be pleased.
He was uneasy already, he'd not heard from Tsukuyomi in some time, not since before they'd left for Sesshomaru's land, and even then it had been brief; just a short dream where the God had seemed reserved, only asking for a brief synopsis of the goings on in his progeny's life, like normal.
The being himself was impossible to understand. Even after a century in his service Mamoru still had to walk on eggshells at all times. Nothing was safe or sacred to him anymore… he didn't know what was right or wrong. He had seen evil in the face of his god. Had seen blood soaking into the earth, the moon red as the crimson tide in the night sky. Unnamable amounts of people and demons alike slaughtered at his whim, cities laid to waste. and he was certain that side of him had stayed well hidden from Kagome.
But he had also seen beauty and peace within him, equal to the amount of wicked rage that seemed to live in his heart alongside the tranquility. There were moments, fleeting sometimes, that he would flicker his eyes over him, and he could feel the warmth there, the love. As if he were a child again, a child of the moon.
But maybe he had lost his faith somewhere along the way, becoming numb to the servitude that was his life. He didn't know anymore.
Karitei's kiss, her confession.
He was reeling from it all, her voice ringing so clearly in his mind.
"I would have left it all behind for you…"
He replayed the moment over and over again until he couldn't stomach it any longer. Every detail had been burned into his mind, the way her sapphire blue eyes shone with pain, her lips parted, her beautifully sharp features downcast.
He'd never wanted anything so badly. The orb was nothing compared to his need for her. He'd thought he wanted that, or the glory that came with such an act. But that all seemed so pale in comparison to his true desire. He could not escape her eyes, nor the way they seemed to see straight through him. They flashed through his mind long into the night.
Sometime in the early morning, he felt a flicker along his Yokai, and he immediately knew that Kagome needed him.
It was like another sense at this point, he'd grown so in tune with her energy.
Though neither of them chose this path, he was her guardian, and had been for her whole life. They were closer than most people could ever begin to guess, and were bonded in some strange way that they could not control.
He immediately got to his feet, dusting himself off. his muscles felt stiff from sitting still for so long, his shoulders and legs tight with tension.
He swiftly set off in her direction, the palace swallowing him up into its darkness. The presence the structure had was undeniable, there was a deep magic woven into its walls that he could feel with every step. He easily followed Kagome's energy and made his way to the east wing of the castle, where InuYasha had made his den.
The Tatsu didn't exactly feel so welcome here. He was weary of being around InuYasha, especially after being with Kagome on his own for so long. He didn't know what to expect really. There was a large chance he would be angry, as was his nature. though he doubted at this point that the Inu would do anything to upset his mate. He would eventually need to at least try to accept him. He didn't have a choice.
The tall red pillars arched over the heavily carved door, the wood dark and inlaid with flowers and intricate landscape scenes and it felt solid beneath his finger as he quietly pried it open to slip inside.
It was still quite early, he could tell the maids had not yet come because the lamps were still unlit, the hall filled with only what little natural light filtered in from where it opened up into the gardens on the very far side.
It was easy for him to follow his senses, until he was hovering just outside the door where he could sense the two of them just beyond it, Inuyasha's energy so strikingly different from Kagome's. Where hers was familiar, soft and healing, his was pure fire and lightning. The two seemed to balance each other out, at least spiritually, he could say that much, though admittedly he was not particularly fond of InuYasha so far.
There was something soured between them already, the Inu holding an obvious mistrust for him that deeply annoyed the Tatsu. He didn't know why he let it get under his skin. Maybe because he had given so much of his life to Tsukyomi, and Kagome as well. To be questioned in such a way felt like it was all being thrown in his face, like he wasn't worthy of respect. And perhaps it had a little to do with his own shame he harbored as well. He had a soft spot when it came to his ego, he could be the first to admit that. It was his flaw, and his alone to deal with. He would have to give the Inu a chance.
He raised his hand and knocked quietly, his soft taps against the wood more than enough to alert the Yokai of his presence, if he hadn't noticed already.
There was only a brief beat of silence before the doors were coming open with a flourish. He was surprised to see Kagome standing there in the threshold and not her mate, though he hovered a few feet behind her with an air of irritation.
A smile spread out over her face and he felt himself soften. For some reason he hadn't been expecting that. He'd braced for the worst honestly. It was hard to know what he was walking back into after being absent for three days. But as she looked at him with relief in that moment he knew that everything was normal between them. They had become friends somewhere along the way, and with her mahogany eyes shining up at him he could see that she still cared for him the same.
Her fist made a sudden contact with his shoulder, her face suddenly drawn in a half playful, half serious anger.
"Jerk! You had me worried. Where even were you this whole time?"
He shrugged, trying not to smirk. "Around. Something told me that you may require my assistance… so here I am."
She rolled her eyes.
"Just in time." she said dryly. "Come in."
Kagome stepped back and allowed him to pass through into the darkened room. The embers of a fire barely glowed in the fireplace, and the weak morning light filtered in through the open windows.
She walked over to the low table that was pushed off to the side, lowering herself down onto one of the cushions and motioning for him to do the same. She was wearing a simple sleeping kimono that pooled around her in a puddle of white fabric, her impossibly long dark hair slightly mussed from sleep, which wasn't surprising as it was still quite early, and the celebration last night had went on into the late hours.
InuYasha didn't join them, he just stood off to the side, his arms crossed with a hard look on his face. He knew Kagome could sense the tension just as well as he, and he said as much without words as they locked eyes briefly over the low table.
"My love? Do you think you could give us a minute?" She cleared her throat, looking at the Inu pointedly.
Mamoru knew that he wanted to say no, but the former Hanyou only grit his teeth and nodded before silently slipping out the door.
The room felt much bigger now that it was just the two of them.
"Where did you go?"
Her tone was casual, though he could sense the sharp undertones.
"I found a spot in one of the old gardens. It was a peaceful reprieve."
The last part was a lie. It had been anything but peaceful, his mind had been alight with riotous thoughts that plagued his every moment.
Her thin, dark eyebrows rose incredulously.
"Oh? Peaceful indeed I'm sure." She said crossly. He could tell by the way her expression was set that she was displeased with him in some way. Though he wasn't sure what exactly he had managed to do wrong. He'd stayed away from her and let her bind herself to the Inu, and he'd been playing by Sesshomaru's rules. He hadn't fed in days now, he could feel himself slipping slightly, hunger coiling at the edges of his belly. Needing to stay out of sight was a major hindrance to his eating habits, along with the fact that he didn't want to step on the DaiYokai's toes any more than he already had by draining the energy from one of his subjects.
He could feel himself growing annoyed at her cattiness, but he did his best not to show his feelings as he sat across from her with a straight face.
"It was." He shrugged. "I'm not sure what your problem is, anyway. You seem like you've been having a good time."
He couldn't keep the sharpness from slipping into his tone, the last part holding a bite to it. If anyone should be hurt here it was him. She had no clue what he'd been through the past few days, the loss he'd endured all over again. And she would never know. It was his burden to bear. But she was the last person he wanted to be angry with him right now, especially when he didn't deserve it.
"I don't have a problem, but a lot has happened and I really could have used your support." She softened then, her big brown eyes blinking up at him fiercely. "But at least you're here now… there's so much to fill you in on."
"Not really." He shrugged. "You don't have to say anything, Kagome, it's obvious. Why do you think I stayed away?"
A furious blush lit her cheeks and she cast her gaze away, unable to meet his eyes. She knew what he meant.
Her hands were fisted in her lap as he sat stock still, knowing that he'd made her uncomfortable. He was good at that. He found some measure of sick solace in it. It made the pain in his chest feel less hot, knowing that she was, for a moment, feeling even an ounce of what he had felt over the last three days.
"I didn't even mean that." She said balefully, still not looking at him. "That should be the least of your worries… we're leaving tonight."
Her words hit him like a sack of bricks and he didn't know what to say. It was one of the rare instances that Mamoru actually found himself sputtering, at a loss.
Many thoughts assaulted him at once, mainly of the silver priestess, but he forced himself to keep his composure.
"Oh? Why so soon?"
She finally met his eyes and there was a hard look held in them.
"I saw the band of seven, I heard them making their plans… they're going to decimate the wolf tribe, and take the shards from the leader, Koga. We have to get there first." She said insistently, a passion rising within her.
Something inside him sunk, and he could only sigh, running a hand through his hair to swat it out of his face. "That's fair enough. Anything else?"
He could think only of Karitei.
He knew that this would happen sooner or later.. but he'd thought that they'd have more time. He didn't want to leave her again.
The thought was so painful that it took everything in him not to physically wince.
Kagome's mission was important. He knew that. It had been drilled into him by his master and he knew that no matter what he would make sure that he saw it through. But that didn't mean he didn't have his own feelings. His pain was just as real, just as aching.
"I want to meet with the priestess here." She said it casually, though he noticed her eyes carefully gauging his reaction.
He stiffened automatically, his dark eyebrows furrowing, though he tried not to let her see how he really felt he couldn't help it.
"And why is that?" He bit out after a long beat of silence.
"I'd like to learn about a few things, while I have the chance. Maybe she can help me gain some kind of control in the dream realm… I don't know. I just have a feeling." She shook her head, her lip caught between her teeth. "Karitei, I think her name is. Right?" She asked the last part softly, and he had a sinking feeling that she knew something she shouldn't.
"How would I know.." he muttered lowly. Her gaze was searching, but now he was the one unable to meet her eyes. His hair fell into his face, slightly shielding him but he knew that in that moment she could see right through him. He didn't know how she knew about his past, or what she was even told, but he could see that she'd clearly made her own assumptions already. She was far from stupid.
"Mamoru…"
Her tone was soft and coaxing, one that she did not often use with him. Still, he didn't want to meet her dark eyes.
"It's okay to talk about it." She said finally, the words sinking like a knife into his gut.
He didn't want to talk about it. With anyone. Especially not her.
It was his great shame, a shadow that he could not shake.
"No, thank you." He said stiffly, his jaw clenched. He wouldn't be divulging any of his secrets if he could help it. It didn't matter anyway. They would be gone before the morning. He was glad at least for the fact that if he took Kagome to speak with her as she wished, he could say goodbye.
She seemed exasperated at his response, and if he had been in a better mood he probably would have enjoyed annoying her.
There was a long, tense bit of silence and wouldn't look at him. He could tell that she was thinking rapidly, could almost see the thoughts firing off behind her eyes and finally, she spoke.
"Well, just so you know, I don't see you any differently. You're still my friend."
He didn't know what to say to that. He was so surprised that his mouth just simply would not form words even if his brain had caught up.
No one had ever said anything like that to him before.
His every waking moment seemed haunted by his shame, his thoughts plagued constantly by its darkness. He had only ever been cursed for his actions, turned away at every door, never once had he been simply accepted. Kagome didn't realize the power she held with those simple words. They struck him down straight to his core and it was all he could do to just sit there, dumbly staring back at her.
"I…appreciate that." He said at last, his voice rough with emotion. "More than you know."
She smiled softly then, her eyes filling with warmth. The sunlight filtering in from the windows lit them up like pure amber, and he could not help but to soften.
She reached over the table, giving his hand a light reassuring squeeze.
"I'm here for you, too, you know. We can help each other."
She quickly pulled her hand away and got to her feet.
"I'm going to dress quickly and then you can take me to her. Just send InuYasha back in here please, if you would."
She had already begun walking away, her impossibly long black hair falling down to her hips in thick waves.
The last thing he wanted to do was interact with the Inu who had all but snarled at him upon entering, but he went and swiftly did as she wished even as his dread built with every footstep.
Inuyasha waited only just outside the door, his demonic ears having heard every word said between the pair through the thin walls. The ears on top of his head flickered in annoyance and his golden eyes were no less harsh as they flickered over to him instantly. His mouth was settled into a thin line and the Tatsu could easily read his emotions. He could tell when he was despised, he knew the feeling well.
"Kagome-"
Before Mamoru could even get the words out the tall, silver haired demon was pushing past him into the room, their shoulders jutting against each other as he all but pushed him out of the way. The door slid firmly back into place, and Mamoru could not help but to laugh.
The former Hanyou was going to just have to get used to him. He didn't have much of a choice. And until then if he wanted to act like a brute, that was fine too. But Mamoru would only take so much.
He didn't have to wait long, thankfully. It was only a few minutes before Kagome came out, dressed in a simple red Kimono that flattered her pale complexion. Her long hair hung free, and she hastily brushed a strand out of her eyes before coming to stand next to him.
"Alright let's go, I'm ready."
To his surprise, and dread, InuYasha began to walk with them. Mamoru shot a questioning look at Kagome but said nothing. The former Hanyou's energy was a hovering presence that he could feel pulsing behind him as he led the pair deep into the castle. He could sense that she was calming him slightly, with her own soothing reiki. He kept his head straight and kept going, into the belly of the palace that was as old as the first Inu's. The magic was thicker here. He could feel it rolling off of his demonic skin and snapping with electricity, and he knew that Kagome could feel it too.
The path was engraved into his brain even all these years later, with every step it felt as though he was falling back into the past, even as he resisted.
Lanterns lit the walls and cast shadows, there were no windows to let in any natural light and somewhere along the way everything had become stone.
The closer they got to her den he could sense her, as well, and it had him instantly buzzing. After last night he didn't know what to expect, but he counted himself lucky that he would be able to just see her again. Her austere beauty haunted him, and he would take any chance that he could get to imprint her into his memory once more.
Kagome could feel the instant the walls around them seemed to pulsate with magic. The feeling was undeniable, like a tingling flash of static along her skin that persisted as the three of them approached the large wooden door that was the only marker in the dark, stone hallway that was lit by dull lanterns. InuYasha had insisted on coming with them, and she could feel his hand at the small of her back, a constant reassuring presence. Though initially it had irritated her that he didn't want her to be alone with Mamoru, or any other male in fact, she kind of understood. He had already been jealous and possessive before they were even mated, and now that feeling was amplified by a hundred. It wasn't hard for her to see it from his perspective, but at the same time, it made her realize that she had not fully thought out the repercussions of their actions, or what it would mean for her day to day life.
It was a slightly sobering thought that she quickly shook away as Mamoru softly rapped on the door with his white knuckles. The smell of incense was strong in the confined air, and it was only a moment before the door was swinging open.
Kagome didn't know what she expected. Maybe another tall, demonic, statuesque beauty that towered over her. But when the door opened she was surprised to see a woman who was barely the same height as herself, though the silver hair piled on top of her head elegantly added more than enough height. Her eyes were a striking sapphire blue that caught and held her attention immediately, as they were lined with a dark kohl. Her features were sharp and unforgiving, but those eyes held a humanity in them that she had not been expecting.
The inu priestess stood in the doorway with a curious look on her face, her silver eyebrows raising as her eyes raked over the three of them.
"I was not expecting guests."
Her voice was smooth and rich, like molasses. Kagome noticed how she airily avoided looking at the Tastu who stood in front of them, but instead looked past him, right at her.
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you, madam." Kagome swallowed nervously, giving a short bow as a show of respect. "I was wondering if I could speak with you."
She smiled then, her sharp fangs exposed, and suddenly the priestess seemed much younger.
"I would like that very much actually. Please, come in." She stepped aside to let her pass through, her dark skirts swishing with the movement. But when InuYasha tried to follow, she stopped him with a light hand to his chest. "You two may wait out here."
There was no room for argument as she swiftly shut the door.
Kagome was thrust into the room and for a moment all she could do was look around her in open amazement.
The priestesses' den was large and circular, almost tower-like with the way the walls soared up above them. There was only one window at the very top letting in natural light, the gentle rays of sun falling down on the shelves full of books, scrolls and poultices. There was a hearth on one side, and in the very center of the room there was a huge pile of furs. It was cozy and smelled of incense and herbs, but the sheer amount of knowledge in the room overwhelmed everything else for her. The ancient texts were priceless, and something that would be lost to time.
She'd been so enamored with her surroundings that she didn't notice the inu slowly circling her, seeming to inspect her inch by inch.
For anyone else this may have sent a shiver of alarm down their spine, but Kagome had spent so much time around the dog demon's that nothing really phased her anymore.
"I thought you'd be taller." Karitei quipped, breaking the silence. She wore robes patterned in a brilliant green that lit up her shocking blue eyes with a magical glow.
"That's funny." Kagome chuckled breathily at the unexpected omission, "I thought the same thing about you."
She carefully watched as the priestess finally stood still, her silver hair ornaments glinting in the light. Kagome tried to read the woman's face but it was a smooth and composed mask. It was hard not to feel intimidated but she had to remind herself who she was, and that she had every right to be there, asking important questions to maybe the only person who could answer them.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to draw herself up, straightening her back.
"What did you wish to speak of, godkin? As a priestess of Tsukuyomi, I am at your service."
For some reason, the last thing Kagome was expecting was for Karitei to already know who she was. She tried not to let it catch her off guard as she answered quickly.
"I've heard that you have walked in dreams as well, and I would very much like to know whatever you can tell me about the astral plane, or anything else that may be useful." Truthfully, there was so much that she didn't know. Even when it came to her own father, the Kami Tsukuyomi, she was mostly in the dark. She'd learned a little about the old gods growing up on the shrine, but she knew enough to know that that was only the tip of the iceberg. Thousands of years of history spanned before she was even a thought, and in that time an entire world had risen and fallen.
Karitei blinked slowly. Her large blue eyes seemed to glow eerily in an unnatural way that made her look so obviously Yokai.
She thought for a long moment, those eyes trained on Kagome unrelentingly.
"Come, sit."
She finally broke her stare to go and sit on the large pile of furs in the center of the room, gesturing to the spot across from her. Hesitating, she followed suit with some weariness. She was comforted by the sense of InuYasha just beyond the door. His and Mamoru's energy seemed to clash against each other, but knowing the both of them were only a few feet away brought her some peace. Just one shout and they would be at her side instantly, not that she sensed any ill will from the inu female. She wasn't sure what to think of her though.
Kagome watched quietly as she pawed through a few loose scrolls before finally thrusting one into her hands.
"The dream realm is just opposite our own, it is very real and very dangerous, if you don't know what you're doing. It is easy to get lost."
Kagome thought of the dark, sharp trees she'd seen there and the rugged paths carved through them. The places with the dead, brittle grass and the fog that never seemed to lift. She shivered, imagining being stuck in such a place, alone with the mangled Yurei's.
"Those are my notes on it, take them with you."
The paper was rough and thick, scribbled over with kanji painted haphazardly across the papyrus. It felt old beneath her fingers, but yet it was still flexible and didn't crack as she bent the corner experimentally.
"Thank you." She said gratefully. She tucked the note in the side of her kimono so she could read over it later when she had a moment.
She really did appreciate the priestesses' kindness, though initially she had come across as a bit icy.
She waved her long, elegant fingers, dismissing her thanks.
"Walking in the dream realm was a skill of mine for many years… but it seems I have no use of such knowledge any more." She sighed, a flash of sadness echoing in the vast blueness of her oceanic eyes for only a moment before it was whisked away.
There was a beat of silence before Kagome finally spoke again.
"Have you ever met my father?"
She asked quietly. A spark flickered over Karitei's face for a moment, her eyes lighting up strangely.
"A few times. Only once in this realm."
She folded her hands in her lap neatly and squared her shoulders, "it is a great honor to serve him."
For some reason something about that struck her with an odd feeling that she didn't like.
"It's okay, Lady Karitei, it's just us. You don't have to be so formal." She hoped that her assurance would assure her at least a little, she was obviously worried that whatever she shared would go straight back to Tsukuyomi. For the first time, Kagome wondered if the version of the Kami that had shown himself to her was the entire truth. it was an unsettling thought that made her skin prickle.
Karitei looked at her wearily, but said nothing for another long beat, her full lips pursed pensively. She looked as if there was something she wanted to say, but something was holding her back. The air was tense and awkward and Kagome was beginning to think this hadn't been her brightest idea.
"Well, really I wanted to know what you could tell me about him, my lineage, the seals. anything… " She trailed off, realising how unsure she sounded. She really was in the dark still, there was so much she didn't know.
The priestess cleared her throat. "I did sense the seals on your spirit, I wondered if you knew… I am glad you do." She said after a moment. She seemed to think hard before she spoke next. "It is a very old magic. I do not know that I could break it, but I could try, if you would like. I may release one, at least. How many are there?"
"Seven, to begin with…" her mind flashed with images of the night she killed the man in the alley, and she winced at the memory. She couldn't even remember his name and she felt a hot flash of shame heat her cheeks.
"Five now. Tsukuyomi said that only I would be able to break them, I still haven't quite figured out how." She said with some weariness. Inu magic was something that was completely foreign to her, she wasn't sure if she wanted to dabble in such things, it could be dangerous. unease filled her as Karitei silently deliberated with herself.
The silver Inu's sharp features were drawn in a look of deep thought, her hands still folded squarely in her lap beneath the billowing silk of her dark kimono sleeves. Her face was more austere than she had seen on the other females she had seen here, her cheekbones were sharp and her nose was long and arched, but she was still intensely, perfectly beautiful in a way that was utterly Yokai. This was only exaggerated but the hair piled on top of her head in a way that Kagome had only seen in books of ancient Japan, with many decorations adorning the silver ribbons. And her eyes were so unique. She hadn't seen many, if any, Inu's with her exact coloring. They were like jewels set deeply into her face, draped with long silver lashes. She could see why Mamoru liked her.
The thought of the two of them together had shocked her initially, but the longer she spent with the priestess she could kind of see it. She was graceful, beautiful, and knowledgeable at that. She seemed more jaded and observant whereas Mamoru was more outlandish and vibrant, though he had been especially surly as of late. They would compliment each other, if only they were not bound by their loyalties.
She wondered if Karitei had been punished for her dissent, if maybe that was why she could no longer access the astral plane. It was a sobering thought and she felt a twang of pity for the woman. That must have been a very hard time in her life, and in Inu years it really wasn't that long ago. A hundred years passed like ten to them, she was learning.
"I do not know if it would be wise for me to try and alter you." Karitei said finally, an apology in her voice. "My Yokai is not as strong as it once was, and I am not favored by Tsukuyomi-sama." She said the last part bitterly, an afterthought.
Kagome nodded, knowing that even if she decided that she would be able to help she still would have said no. It was something she had to do herself, something that would come in time. She wasn't rushing. She wasn't entirely sure what would happen when she finally unlocked her whole spirit. So many changes had happened already, it seemed like it had been years rather than months since she had practically fallen into the Kami's arms for the first time and her entire world had flipped upside down even further. Her body had become strong and womanly, her wounds healing rapidly overnight, and her hair nearly billowing down to her hips. Not to mention she hadn't had a period in she didn't even know how long. It was unnerving, at times, though mostly she ignored it. She wasn't sure if she was ready for much else, though.
"That's okay. Thank you for your time." She started to rise to her feet and Karitei stopped her.
"Wait, let me send you a book, too. It may help." She rose and went to one of the many shelves lining the stone walls. "This has much of our history, as well as Tsukuyomis. You may understand the way of things a little better." Her long fingers found a worn leather cover, smoothing over it before passing it to Kagome.
She took it, the weight and thickness of it surprising. It was tattered in places and obviously very old, but there was a fine quality to the binding that only a Yokai could achieve.
"You will need to return it." The priestess said sternly. "It is quite valuable to me."
"Oh, well we are leaving the island tonight, I'm not sure when we'll return."
If
But she left that part out.
Suddenly Karitei seemed crestfallen, as if she had swept the wind out from under her wings. She held the book out to give back to her, not wanting to accept it if there was no guarantee of them even coming back.
She gently pushed it back into my hands, her sapphire eyes alight with a sadness that Kagome didn't understand.
"Keep it. You will bring it back to me, whenever that may be." Her voice was just as solemn as her face, her mouth pressed into a thin line.
Kagome thanked her profusely, swearing to return the book one day. She would make good on her promise no matter what, she was good about that. She always tried her best to keep her word.
Just as she rose from the furs and began to walk back to the door, Karitei stopped her once again.
"May you be well on your journey Kagome, I look forward to seeing you again." She wore a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"I feel the same." Kagome bowed politely. "Again, thank you for everything. It means a lot."
"Nonsense." The inu smiled, waving her hand. "It is my duty. I am only sorry that I cannot help more."
My hand went to the door when her throat cleared quietly, and I turned back once again.
"Could you send Mamoru in after you, please. I wish to have a word." She said quietly, her voice small and her eyes drawn suddenly to the cobblestone floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.
My lips twisted knowingly but I didn't say anything as I nodded, finally throwing open the door and stepping out into the darkened hall.
InuYasha was instantly at my side and I gripped his hand warmly as I threw a look to Mamoru, who leaned against one of the walls stiffly.
"You're up, buddy." My eyes flickered over to the open doorway and he drew himself up in surprise.
He wasted no time in striding over with his long legs, disappearing as he closed the heavy wooden door behind him without a word or even a glance in their direction.
Kagome fought the urge to roll her eyes. she was starting to understand him a little better now, his motives. There was a layer of deep sadness that sat just below the surface of him, and it was so obvious now that she didn't know how she hadn't seen it sooner.
InuYasha squeezed her hand, bringing her back to the moment. His golden eyes raked over her, a smile cracking at his mouth. Their energies seemed to hum with contentment, their bodies automatically drifting together like magnets. When he smiled at her like that, she got all googly and flustered.
"She's not so bad right?" He gestured to the wooden door with a flick of his eyes. "A little weird though."
"I like her." She said easily enough. "She lent me this." She showed him the smoothly bound leather book that was still clutched against her chest. He examined it carefully in the weak light, taking it from her grasp.
He flipped it open to a random page, and Kagome looked on curiously, just as intrigued.
Written on the stark pages were small, neat kanji in rows and rows. Columns of them went down the paper like black streaks.
"Interesting." He said blandly, handing it back to her. She chuckled, shaking her head. He wasn't much of a reader, her mate.
"Should we wait for your friend?" His tone grew a shade colder and she couldn't help but notice.
"He'll come back when he's done, he knows the way. Best we leave them for a minute, I think." She shrugged. Kagome didn't like how InuYasha so obviously disliked the Tatsu, for seemingly very little reason. All the dragon Yokai had done was make sure that she was safe, and honestly the journey to the island had been a hard one, they simply couldn't have made it without him. There had been many times that she had fallen or tripped over her own two feet, and Mamoru had been the one to pick her up. He was the one who stayed up throughout the nights to stand watch over their group, so the more fragile humans could rest. When they were running low on rations he would go and hunt for them, always bringing back a fresh kill. He taught her many things about herself, her reiki, her own power. He taught her that she was not weak, that she could stand alone and hold her own. The last thing she wanted was for her mate to so blatantly hate him, after all he had done.
He nodded, satisfied with her answer. He led her away without another word, down the halls and back the way they had come.
The hallway went from rough stone to perfect opulence once more, so quickly that it left Kagome's head spinning with confusion.
This palace made no sense. Maybe it was half built with magic, or something of the like because the twisting and turning hallways and soaring walls were a little baffling. Logic didn't seem to matter here. She remembered when they had been led up through tunnels in the walls that sheathed the city, and how they had been spat out in the very center of what she'd thought was Sesshomaru's study. It was completely nonsensical to her.
She longed for the open trails and scattered villages again. trees. Her heart leapt in her chest at the thought that they would be leaving very soon, in just a matter of hours. Though, as she cast a look to her mate, who smiled down at her happily in return, she had a feeling that they would come back to the palace again. she didn't need her reiki to tell her that much.
When they entered InuYasha's wing of the castle, the large carved doors swinging open, it was quiet.
The shoji screens that were tucked behind the red pillars were all neatly closed, though she could hear sounds coming from the garden.
Ignoring the sudden urge to pull her Inu into their rooms and quickly have her way with him, she walked at a quick pace to the small space outside that had become their little sanctuary in the past few days.
Shippo and Rin were happily coloring together with some of the crayons and paper Kagome had brought alone for the kit, chatting intermittently about random things as children do. She could see a small, unassuming female Yokai standing off to the side, close to the wall in the shade. Kagome wasn't sure what breed she was, but it definitely wasn't inu. She had large, round eyes that were set deeply into her face, framed by dark lashes. Her skin was pale white, speckled with light brown freckles nearly everywhere that wasn't covered by a plain, gray Kimono that marked her as someone in the serving class.
Harusuke also leaned casually on the other side of the covered porch, picking at his fangs with a long class as Kagome and InuYasha came through the open doorway.
His amber eyes immediately went to the Inu at her side, the dark inu giving him a nod of acknowledgement.
the kits did not feel the sense of urgency that the adults did. They played, oblivious to the clock that was ticking quickly. They had very little time to make it to the wolf tribe's den, and Kagome didn't even know if they would make it before the murderous band of seven. The thought was a soul crushing one. All she could do was hope against hope that they would beat them there, that they would have time to warn everyone and evacuate the caves that the wolves called their home.
Kagome swallowed the grim thoughts and put on a bright smile for the red haired Kitsune that looked up at her with his shining green eyes.
"I wanted to play with Rin one last time before we go, 'gome." He said brightly. He lifted up his drawing to show her, beaming with pride. "Look, it's you and me!"
Her heart warmed and her smile reached her eyes as she looked down at him lovingly.
There were two stick figures on the paper, one with a shock of scribbled red hair and the other with long, dark streaks that was obviously meant to be her. There was a yellow sun in the corner and a few simple birds and Kagome thought it was probably the cutest thing ever.
"You're so sweet!" She bent down to ruffle his hair affectionately. "Good job Shippo, I love it."
He beamed even harder at her encouragement and put the paper down to color more.
"Look at mine, Lady Kagome!" Rin pointed to the fuzzy outline she'd drawn, and she could almost tell that it was supposed to be a person.
"It's my Sesshomaru-sama." She declared proudly. "He will love it, I'm sure." She couldn't help but to smile at the little girl, her heart warmed by them both.
"Mitadori, look!" Rin stood to show the quiet Yokai, who came forward and looked down with interest at the child. She kept her hands folded behind her as she leaned down to get a good look, a small smile twisting at her mouth.
"It is magnificent, Lady Rin." her voice was just as quiet as she seemed, smooth and even. She straightened back up and Rin bounced happily back over to Shippo.
"Have you packed?" Kagome asked Shippo softly.
The kit's eyes turned a bit sad, and he cast a look at Rin who now wore a small frown on her delicate face.
"Yeah, my bag is ready to go."
She knew that he would miss having someone to play with, and that Rin must be terribly lonely here as the only human after they left, but there was nothing to be done about it.
If it were even an option, Kagome would gladly leave him here, where it was safe And they could just retrieve him after it was finally over. Where Naraku couldn't slaughter him. Losing him in one of their many battles had always been a worry, and at least here he could be with other Yokai, and keep Rin company. Maybe she would talk to InuYasha about it and see what he thought.
"Good. Where are Sango and Miroku?"
The child shrugged idly.
"I dunno. Haven't seen them since breakfast."
Kagome and InuYasha shared an amused look. They could both easily guess what the pair were up to.
"Probably packing." She said airily, "we should probably get our stuff together too."
"See you later Lady Kagome!" The little girl waved her off, eager to have Shippo to herself once more.
Chuckling, she and her mate made their way back to their rooms.
Sango was more than ready to get the hell out of this place. A demon slayer did not belong in the very heart of the western Yokai territory, no matter which way she tried to spin it. The entire time they'd been there she'd felt so out of it, like her equilibrium was thrown off. The only good thing to come out of it was the opportunity it gave her and Miroku for intimacy. And damn, was it good.
She was glad she had finally given in to herself, she was glad that it was the dark haired Hoshi that had been the one to finally claim her. It felt so right. He felt so right.
They'd spent the past two nights lying together, making love and whispering into the late hours. Miroku would run his fingers over her skin as if he could not quite believe that she was real, that she was really laid beside him with their limbs intertwined beneath the blankets . They kissed until they were breathless and when they couldn't take it anymore, he would finally sink into her wetness and fill her up with his seed. As many times as they could bear.
She felt like she was undone beneath his fingers. A puddle of mush and it was so hard to think straight. Especially when he was moaning her name.
There wouldn't be many opportunities for them to sneak away for the next while, she didn't know how long. Maybe after everything with Naraku was finally over with and the demon lay dead at her feet, maybe then. A twinge of anxiety twisted in her chest every time she thought about the days to come. It would be a hard battle. One she didn't know if they would get out unscathed, it was very possible that they would lose someone on this trip.
She prayed to whatever Kami was listening that she was wrong.
Now, she and the Hoshi lay intertwined on the Tatami mat on the floor of the darkened room, the shade on the window closed. Her head lay on his broad chest, her mind running a mile a minute while his hand softly ran over her hair.
Despite her racing thoughts, she was truly at ease in that moment.
Every day with him since they had decided to become one, she had felt lighter, more like her old self again, like before Kawagi castle. And? No nightmares. Not even one. When they did finally sleep at night she spent the hours wrapped so firmly in his arms that no nightmare would dare reach her there.
"Come back, Sango."
Miroku said teasingly in a soft murmur, knowing her too well. She had been utterly lost in her thoughts, far, far away from this moment.
She blinked up at him with a smile, fingers tracing over his chest reassuringly to let him know that she was with him again.
"What has you so lost in thought, my dear one?"
He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, holding her attention.
"I'm just worried." She sighed, brow creasing.
His dark eyes were full of affection as he looked down at her and she could feel her belly full with that all too familiar warmth. His hair was mussed and free around his strong shoulders, and even in the shadows she could easily admire how handsome he was.
"It will all work out." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her even closer. Her body was pressed so tightly against his, and she reveled in the feeling.
She didn't know how he was so certain, but Miroku didn't seem to be nearly as anxious as she was. She hoped the monk was right.
Her fingers grazed the linen wrappings and the rosary that wrapped around his right hand.
"When it's done, you won't have this anymore." She murmured. The wind tunnel curse would finally end, and Miroku would be free. She knew it was all he hoped for, having seen his own fathers death by the very same fate.
"I scarcely want to get my hopes up." He admitted quietly. She traced along each of his fingers before intertwining their hands.
"I know what you mean. I feel the same way about Kohaku. Like no matter if we kill Naraku, we will still be stuck in this same cycle." Her words were grim, but it was her truest fear. That they were doing all this for nothing.
Thinking about her brother only served to darken her mood. She spent many nights lying awake, thinking of him out there forced to do Naraku's bidding. She didn't know what he had endured… She only hoped that one day, when this was all over, he would be able to live with it.
Because if there was one thing that she was certain of, it was that she would free him. no matter if it cost both of their lives. She would not let him live in torment, forced to be a slave.
She held Miroku a little tighter, then, taking some measure of comfort in his heady, masculine scent.
"I know your heart is heavy for him." He rubbed a large hand over her bare back. "We will set him free. It is only a matter of time." His voice was velvety soft as he reassured her and she felt a heavy pang in her chest at his words. He was so tender with her.
"I know." She agreed softly.
They did not talk about what would happen if Kohaku didn't survive the removal of his shard. They didn't talk about if they would make it to the wolf tribe in time before the band of seven got to them first, or how they would manage to kill Naraku and reunite the remaining shards. They didn't talk about any of the tumultuous thoughts that had made their home in Sango's mind. It was better that way. For now, they just held each other, and the smooth, consistent rise and fall of Miroku's chest beneath her ear was so comforting. It was almost enough to banish those thoughts completely. Almost.
The door shuts heavily behind him, the sound echoing throughout the rounded chamber. There is the heady scent of incense on the air, but is it not strong enough to mask her scent from the Tatsu. She smells like heavy woodlands and herbs, like old books and magic all bottled up into an enticingly unique perfume that is all her own.
For a moment, neither of them say anything. They just stare at each other. Her ocean blue eyes clashed against his and held his gaze, something unreadable held there. He opens his mouth to speak but falters, promptly closing it. There are too many thoughts running through his head. But the one that sticks out the most is that he was afraid that this would be their last moment, that he would not be able to look upon her face like this again. He didn't want to say goodbye, not ever.
"I didn't expect that you would be leaving so soon."
She finally breaks the icy silence.
He wished she wasn't so damn composed. It felt like he was unraveling and it was so hard when she kept her face schooled into a perfect mask like that. He wished for maybe the millionth time that he could read her thoughts.
"Neither did I." He said sourly.
She cast a dark look to the floor.
"It is for the best. I… cannot control myself around you." She sounds miserable, the mask on her face cracking a bit as her eyes seem to speak volumes of sadness.
At her words a sharp pang lights up his chest, a mixture of pain and a little bit of excitement.
Pain, because she said it would be best if he left. Excitement, because maybe she was having just as hard of a time keeping his vow as he was. Not that he should be happy over such a thing, but it made him feel like perhaps he was not so alone in his wants, however foolish they may be.
She seemed so small, then.
In truth, he towered over her by at least a full head, and she was rather dainty for an Inu female, but she looked even smaller, like with her admission she had shrunk and withered. He wished more than anything that he could go to her, to hold her and comfort her. But that would only cause her more pain, he thought. He didn't want to be the cause of her misery. He had already fed it too much.
"I am struggling as well." He kept his voice cool and even, not letting the well of emotions inside of him rise up. Instead, he shoved them deep, deep down. He was getting good at that.
Her lovely eyes flickered up to him again, and he felt as if he could stare into them endlessly.
There was so much between them that they left unsaid. So much still that they had to hold on to, and yet it was as if everything was forcing them apart, all over again. Maybe as much as he wished things were different, it was not meant to be. Their union was a cursed one. Karitei herself had said that to him before, many years ago, and it had stuck with him. Perhaps she was right.
He hated the thought as soon as it entered his mind. But he did not want to cause her more pain. And he felt like that was all he had done. He had betrayed her, his tribe, and Tsukuyomi. He deserved no happiness. Maybe he was just no good. There was something broken within him, something even a hundred years of penance couldn't fix.
"I am sorry, Karitei. I've made a mess of things again." He swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling like the biggest asshole in all of Japan. He shouldn't have kissed her. He knew that, but still, he couldn't bring himself to regret it. "I hope you will find a way to be happy. I will not impose myself on you any further, this I can promise."
The words feel heavy but he knows that they are right.
It is only a small comfort to him to know that she will not be taking a mate. Though, it really shouldn't be. He should want her to be at peace with someone, to be loved and fulfilled. But his of the Tatsu, and he is greedy by nature. The thought of her lying with anyone who wasn't himself makes his blood boil and his chest feel hot with anger. No, he could not stand it if she chose another.
A grimace flashes across her face, marring her lovely features.
"You are a fool if you think that is what I want." Her voice is strained, her shoulders tense.
I know what you want
He wanted to say so desperately.
Because I want it too.
Kami, he wanted it more than anything. Her. Her luscious mouth, her quick wit. Everything, with her.
"We cannot."
It is all he can choke out. The words feel bitter on his tongue and he casts his gaze to the cobbled floor, unable to meet her eyes. He feared that maybe he wouldn't be able to stay true to his word, not with her looking at him like that. Like he'd just crushed the last bit of her hope right before her eyes.
"This, I know." Her face darkens.
Mamoru hates himself a little more.
But what would she have him do? Abandon Tsukuyomi? Impossible. Leave Kagome behind? Unthinkable, positively apprehensible.
And herself? Would she denounce her god and leave everything she has worked so hard to build?
He couldn't do it. even as much as it pained them both.
She took a few tentative steps towards him, crossing half the length of the round room. He hadn't realized he'd been hovering, frozen by the doorway this entire time. The gentle caress of her Yokai energy on his own as she drew closer made him want to sigh with pleasure. It was another thing he hadn't realized how much he'd missed in his hundred year long exile.
"Even still," she said wistfully. "How am I meant to deny this feeling, Mamoru?"
He shivered when she said his name. Her lush mouth forming the syllables felt forbidden. She gestured at her full chest, where her heart would be beneath the layers of emerald green kimono.
"We are tethered here. I feel it."
Her sapphire eyes were so, so sad. She stood only a scant couple feet away, and he was frozen.
She was right. He could feel it too, this strange tugging at his heart when she was heavy on his mind, or close to him. Even when they had been separated he would feel it sometimes, a brief ache that reminded him of all he had lost.
His feet seemed to work again and suddenly he was crossing the distance between them. Her closeness was overwhelming, the scent of her filling his nostrils. But he couldn't stand to see that look on her face a moment longer.
He took her hand that was at her breast, holding it gently and feather light. Slowly their fingers intertwined and for one, blissful moment, he felt whole.
He looked down at her, his long dark hair falling down over his chest. He stroked his thumb over the back of her soft hand that seemed to fit so nicely in his own. He didn't have words, at the moment. Something that was rare for him. But as he held her gaze he poured everything he was feeling into his eyes, hoping that she could even try to understand.
Karitei seemed to soften, though, her own eyes going dewy.
His other hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb wiping away a crystalline teardrop as it fell.
He'd seen her cry before. Once, after he had taken the orb but before he had fled. Their eyes had met across the field, just as he was about to shift into his true form and make a break for it, through the skies and over the dark trees that roared up into them. Tears had streaked down her face, her blue eyes glowing with a violent storm of anger and hurt and disbelief at his betrayal.
Somehow seeing her now was somehow worse, even though the memory made him want to wince.
She just looked so defeated and broken, there beneath his fingertips.
"You are my heart." He's said finally, emphasizing every word. "Nothing could ever change that… but we have chosen our paths."
It was a knife in his gut as he spoke, and the way her tears began to fall in earnest was the twisting of it.
"You should go. I cannot bear this." She trembled, speaking through little sobs.
His hands immediately fell away from her, but he felt the loss so greatly he nearly staggered and fell into the door. He couldn't cause her any more pain. He couldn't.
His mouth set into a grim line, he could only nod his assent, not trusting his words at that moment.
He gave her one last long, searching look before he finally stepped out into the hallway, burning her face into his mind once more.
His memories were his own. There, at least, he could keep one small shred of her with him. It was the one thing he had that could not be taken from him.
The door shut definitively behind him and to him it may as well have been the sound of a tomb closing, loud and eerie and the scraping of stone.
He wanted to sink to the floor and wallow in his despair. But he could not. If he lingered here she would sense him, and he didn't want to seem any more pathetic than he already was. He didn't need to make it harder on both of them. They had known this would happen, it was inevitable.
His heart felt so heavy in his chest, like a weight that was holding him down even as he willed his feet to move. They carried him down the hall, and with every step he took farther away from her it felt like he was losing himself, bit by bit. He didn't have anything left to give.
As much as he longed to find his way outside and make his home in the trees for the rest of the day and wallow in his despair, he knew that his duty drew him elsewhere. And so he went deeper into the palace instead of out, seeking out Kagome. She still needed him, even with the sour Inu hovering around. And at least he could tell himself that she is one person who he had not failed or betrayed; one person whose eyes did not fill with pain as soon as they landed on him.
That had to be worth something.
A/N:
Omg we're finally leaving the island next chapter! I know some of yall have been itching for them to get away from the court life and back on the road and so am I, they've been out of their element for so long it will be refreshing to cast them in a different like, especially as they prepare to FINALLY defeat Naraku. Thank you to everyone who still reads this story much love for you allllll dont be afraid to leave me a review!
