Have a Little Faith

"I would like to make a friend," Zack announced, settling into the couch for his session with Dr. Sweets.

"Really?" Sweets was surprised. Zack was the type to quietly go with the flow, and the psychologist knew his patient strongly disliked trying new things. But he put the thought out of his mind; if Zack wanted to step out of his comfort zone, it meant he was making progress. While the doctor hadn't seen any evidence of his patient back sliding, Zack had remained in a pretty consistent place since his arrival. Sweets enjoyed the thought of him making forward progress.

"I think that would be a great step for you, Zack. Can you tell me more?"

Zack just blinked at him.

"Such as?"

"Well, for starters, what prompted this? Where is this sudden interest in friendship coming from?"

"Um," Zack wasn't sure why he felt embarrassed. Wasn't making friends a 'normal' thing to do?

"There's a new patient," he admitted. "Her name is Charli, and I think I would like to be friends with her."

'Oh,' Sweets thought. 'I get it now.'

Zack enjoyed himself yesterday. He liked Charli's company, and he hoped she liked him as well. He really wanted them to be friends.

But he was afraid. Historically, he had never been great at making friends. He knew Hodgins and the rest of the team had taken him under their wing and guided him. He didn't mind; he had accepted that he needed help sometimes. But was he ready to do this on his own now?

"Yes, I know Charli," Dr. Sweets replied. "I think she would be a good friend for you."

"How would I go about pursuing that friendship?" Zack looked down, embarrassed. "Socializing with others has never been easy for me. I'm fearful of making a mistake."

"It's alright, Zack," Sweets tried to give his patient some encouragement. "You can use this opportunity to practice your social skills and I will help you. You're a good student, right?"

"An excellent student."

"Then let's get started. Tell me about Charli. Why do you think you want to be friends?"

"We have spoken a few times. I found I quite enjoyed our conversations, and I believe I would like to have more of them."

"Then let's start there. Find opportunities to talk to her, spend time with her, ask her questions, and allow her to reciprocate. You'll become friends by getting to know each other."

Zack nodded, but continued to sit unnaturally still, looking down at his lap. What Zack hadn't said was how accepting Charli had been of him so far. He feared it wouldn't last, and that terrified him.

Sweets could tell his patient still had something on his mind.

"What is it, Zack? I know there's something more."

Zack swallowed hard and looked up at his most trusted confidante. He knew Hodgins would never betray him, but he also knew his best friend would feel compelled to repeat a certain amount of what he said to Angela. He liked Angela, but it was ok to have a few secrets, right?

"What if…what if she doesn't like me?"

Zack was afraid. He had tried to make friends several times, but until he landed in the lab, no one had shown any genuine interest in being friends with him. Some of them only wanted to use him for his intelligence. Some of them didn't understand him and some others judged him for being "weird." Odd. Eccentric. Robotic. Strange super genius kid. Zack had heard them all, but he had always just done the logical thing and continued moving forward.

But Charli was different. On the one hand, he wanted to be able to share everything with her. But on the other hand, he feared that the more he opened up to her, the more opportunity she would have to judge him and end their burgeoning friendship before it even really began.

"Try not to focus on that," Sweets advised him. "It's not worth worrying until there is something to worry about. With your history, it makes sense that you would be feeling this way, but that's just the fear talking. Remember that; don't let it control you."

Zack knew better by now than to point out that emotions can't talk. While he wasn't a fan of the exact wording, he had been working with Dr. Sweets long enough to know what the psychologist meant by it. Zack had to admit (even if only to himself) that it was not the worst advice he had ever gotten.

"And Zack?"

He looked up at the sound of his name.

"Have a little faith in yourself."

"And then Cam cut open the soft tissue and there were beetles everywhere," an animated Hodgins told Zack, eager to recount the details of their latest case. "It was so…"

The entomologist trailed off, noticing the boy genius appeared to have stopped listening to him.

"Zack."

No response.

"Hey, Zack!"

The anthropologist blinked and shifted his focus back to his best friend.

"Sorry, Hodgins," he replied hastily, avoiding eye contact. "It appears I've become distracted."

"I'll say," Hodgins laughed. "So…what's her name?"

"Who?"

"The girl, Zack."

"Why do you presume there is a girl?"

"Because, Zack," his best friend replied slowly as if Zack were a child. "I know you, and nothing would distract someone with your level of intelligence- except a girl. And if that weren't enough, your eyes keep shifting over to her."

Hodgins followed Zack's gaze to a table on the other side of the room. A raven-haired girl who appeared to be around Zack's age sat across from a woman in a suit who Hodgins presumed was her lawyer.

"No, they don't," Zack mumbled still avoiding eye contact.

"Zack."

The young genius may not be the best at picking up on social cues, but he loved nothing more than learning and had dedicated significant time to studying his best friend in the three years they had lived together. Zack was a scientist by nature, after all. He remembered that this tone of voice meant that Hodgins didn't want to argue.

"Charli," he mumbled into his lap.

Zack theorized that there was no harm in telling him; he did want to get the elder man's advice on how to pursue a friendship with Charli. He couldn't put his finger on it (a rarity for the young genius), but he couldn't shake the feeling that Charli was different somehow. She intrigued him, and he wanted to figure out why.

"Charli," Hodgins echoed. "Nice work, buddy. She's very cute."

The younger man just blinked back at his elder, a blank stare on his face.

"I don't follow, Hodgins. I haven't been allowed to work since my arrest."

The entomologist swallowed and averted his gaze. His sessions with Sweets had been helping (despite his stubborn nature), but he still hated to be reminded of his best friend's downfall. Sometimes the way Zack mentioned it, casually brushing past the emotion behind the words, made reliving it even worse.

"It's a…never mind," Hodgins decided explaining it to Zack would take too long and opted instead to ask his friend what he really wanted to know.

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"Yes," Zack answered, enjoying the way Hodgins smiled in approval. Once they moved past their initial dislike of the other, the botanist had become somewhat of a brother to him. Zack had never felt close to any of his actual brothers the way he did with Hodgins. His brothers thought he was weird, but not Hodgins. Hodgins accepted him.

"A few times," Zack continued. "I would like to pursue a friendship with her; what would you suggest?"

"When will you see her again?"

Zack shrugged.

"Outside of meals and mandated psychiatric appointments, our schedules aren't regulated."

"Then I would start by spending time with her," his mentor replied. "Ask her to do something with you."

"She likes to take walks," Zack replied, thinking back to their time in the garden. "Sometimes she asks if I want to come with her."

"Good," Hodgins nodded his approval. "That's a good start. Keep walking with her. But ask her to do other things too. You said you guys eat at the same time?"

"Meal times are mandatory," the anthropologist explained. "Except in the case of illness."

"Ok, good," Hodgins mused. "You can use that to your advantage. If she has to come to the meal anyway, ask her to sit with you. Start having meals with her, an you'll be able to see her all the time."

Zack had to admit he liked that idea. He wanted more time with Charli, and perhaps this would help with the loneliness he felt at meal times.

Zack had almost never eaten a meal alone. His mother felt it was important for her family to eat together and imposed family dinner on Zack and his siblings every night. Since he went to high school, and subsequently college, at such a young age he had lived at home until he moved to DC to start graduate school.

The tradition had continued in the lab. Although there were no assigned lunch breaks, it usually happened that someone else was taking lunch at the same time as him, and Zack had found himself tagging along to the diner on several occasions.

But he didn't have that luxury at the asylum. He ate his meals quickly and quietly, so he could return to his books and equations as soon as possible. If there was one thing he missed about his old life (other than his friends) it was the ability to share a meal with someone. And Charli had already proven herself to be good company.

The next day, Zack got up, showered, and changed before heading to breakfast. He wasn't sure which room was Charli's and he hoped if he got to the cafeteria early enough, he would be able to catch her on her way in. To his surprise, his plan worked and he spotted Charli's raven hair a few minutes after arriving at the cafeteria. Charli looked up as he fell into step beside her.

"Hi, Charli," he began, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt.

Where were these nerves coming from?

Charli focused her big blue eyes on him.

"Hey, Zack."

Zack did his best to keep his gaze off of his feet and maintain eye contact as he had been instructed.

"Would you like to have breakfast with me?"