Anna lay nervously in bed. She had woken up long before the alarm clock. Today was their half day off and they would leave the abbey when the others started lunch.
How far would she be able to go? She had spoken to her husband a few more times after the previous evening. He had assured her over and over again that he would wait until she was ready. That it would happen at their own pace. That only she would dictate how it would go. She knew she could trust him. Nevertheless, it made her nervous.
John felt all morning what was going on with his wife. But he said nothing. He didn't want to make her even more restless than she already was. He knew that no matter what he said, it wouldn't calm her down.
When they left the abbey, he looked at his wife, who was walking unsteadily next to him: "Shepard's Pie or Toad in a Hole?"
Confused, Anna looked at her husband: "Please, what?"
"At the Grantham Arms we have Shepard's Pie or Toad in a Hole at noon today. What do you want to eat?"
Anna looked questioningly at her husband.
John grabbed her hand, "I'm going to have lunch with my beautiful wife on our half day off. After that, we can go for a walk if you want."
Anna blinked her eyes: "I thought we would..."
John smiled briefly: "I was sure you didn't want to drag me straight into our bedroom."
The blonde woman blushed and was silent.
"We haven't eaten together for a long time. I wanted to go to Ripon with you first, but I wasn't sure if that wasn't too much. Hence the Grantham Arms. But if you'd rather go to Ripon, or something completely different, then tell me."
Anna squeezed her husband's hand and smiled happily at him: "The Grantham Arms is wonderful. Thank you. And I haven't eaten a Toad in a Hole for ages."
As they continued along the road to the village, John said, "I don't want you to put yourself under pressure. We will both have a nice half day off. Without expectations, without obligations. And if you don't feel like trying anything today, then we'll leave it."
Anna smiled and leaned against her husband: "I love you John. I can't say it often enough."
"And I love you, Anna."
It wasn't particularly crowded in the Grantham Arms, so they could sit at a small table by the window. While they waited for their food, they had one hand on the table and held on tight.
"Are you feeling better," John looked at his wife worriedly.
The blonde woman looked at him in amazement: "Why better?"
"Because you could feel your restlessness and nervousness all day."
"I don't want to do anything wrong John, no matter what we do and when we do it."
"But there's nothing you can do wrong, Anna. This is not a competition or a test. We're enjoying our food for now."
Anna nodded and was happy when the food was brought shortly afterwards.
She was really calmer and more relaxed.
The walk also made her calmer. They walked across the small square in the center of the village across the cemetery, stopped at individual graves, lit a candle in the church and then walked around the village along small paths until they finally arrived in front of their cottage.
John looked up at the sky: "It's good that we're here now, it looks like it's about to rain."
Anna also looked up and nodded, then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him: "Thank you very much."
Astonished, John raised his eyebrows: "For what?"
"That you make everything so easy."
Then they entered their cottage.
"Would you like a cup of tea? We also have a few shortbreads," Anna looked questioningly at her husband as he went into the living room to light the fireplace.
"Gladly, it's still very cold outside."
Anna smiled and disappeared into the small kitchen. When she came back into the living room later, the fire was burning, John had lit the candles and oil lamps, so that there was now a pleasant light. Outside, the sky had darkened considerably in the last few minutes and the first drops pattered in front of the window.
Anna looked out: "We were really lucky," then she put the tray on the small table.
John had sat down on the sofa, his legs stretched out.
Anna moved the table closer to the sofa, then handed him a cup and then sat down next to him: "Will you take me in your arms?"
Immediately, John took the cup in his other hand and put his arm around his wife.
She slid closer to him and then put her head on his shoulder.
John's hand was on her other shoulder and his thumb stroked it.
They sat there in silence, drank their tea, ate a biscuit every now and then and looked into the fire while the rain pattered in thick drops in front of the windows.
At some point, Anna silently put down her cup, wordlessly took the cup out of her husband's hand and put it down as well. Then she stood up and took John's hand: "Come."
Surprised, John stood up and followed her.
He stopped in front of the stairs and looked at her: "We don't have to."
She nodded and pulled him on: "I know."
Once upstairs, Anna stopped in front of the bedroom door and looked at her husband: "Can you put on your pajamas?"
John looked at her for a moment, then nodded and disappeared into the bathroom.
Anna entered the bedroom, lit the oil lamps and began to undress. Finally, she only had her underwear on. She opened her hair when there was a knock: "May I come in?"
Anna hesitated for a moment and then answered: "Yes."
Slowly the door opened and John entered. Surprised, he looked at his wife, who was standing on her side of the bed only in her underwear. She was so beautiful.
He closed the door and looked at her questioningly.
Anna lifted the blanket on her side and crawled under it. Then she looked at her husband: "Come here."
Without taking his eyes off her, John climbed into bed.
He turned on his side and looked at her.
"Can you, can you... take off the top," she asked cautiously.
John nodded and sat up. He was just about to start when Anna sat up: "May I," she looked at him questioningly.
John nodded again and so Anna slowly began to open the buttons. Then she pushed the garment off his shoulders. John took it and put it at the foot of the bed. He didn't let her out of his sight the whole time.
"Will you take me in your arms again," Anna looked at him uncertainly.
Again, John just nodded, lay on his side and Anna slipped into his arms.
"So? Or should I lie on my back?"
Anna shook her head: "No, that's good."
Her hand was on his bare chest. There it was again, the warm feeling.
